Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Looking good, Santa.

Hey, Santa. Here we go.

Rosy cheeks.

Rosy nose. Oh, that's rosy, okay.

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.

Hey, not bad, Santa.

What can I bring you for Christmas?

[voices chattering]

That puppy will be there Christmas morning.

So get up early or it'll poop under the tree okay?

Now grab your candy cane and have a great Christmas.

Come here, little girl.

[groans]

Whoa, it's not New Year's Eve yet.

Whew!

Okay, so I have written some things down.

[sighs]

I want a mansion in Cali,

but not the ones in the city.

I want one on the mountainside, maybe with a pool, palm trees around it.

And a three-car garage.

- Can you do that? - Yes, I can.

Whoa!

- Man. - [girl] What?

Come on, you know, you suck at baseball.

Shut up, Zoe.

You know that I got all the brains

and athletic ability in this family.

You just got hit with the ugly stick.

Okay, no you don't, and do you want to get hit with this instead?

- No. You must be adopted. - Adopted? I'm not adopted.

- I'm not adopted! - Mother, look at those two children fighting.

- Adopted, really? - I see that, Cedric.

- I would never do that. - Of course you wouldn't, honey.

I'm not adopted.

Yes, you are, by circus freaks.

Those parents need to control their children better.

Clearly they don't provide the type of parental guidance

needed to raise a child properly.

Wow, wow, wow, circus freaks. Shut up!

Circus elephants.

Shut up, is that a fat joke?

Yes!

- You guys. - Oh, my God!

Zoe, Eric please stop, okay.

Otherwise, we're not going to see Santa.

Alright, come on.

Eric this is all your fault.

Ho, ho, ho and off you go young lady.

I'll see what I can do Christmas morning. Next!

Hello, young man.

You're a little too tall for this line, but let's talk about it.

Oh, I want a monkey that can speak Spanish.

- Okay, what's your name? - Justin.

The problem with monkeys,

they don't really speak a language that we know.

They speak Monkey.

I thought they could do anything.

No, they can only speak Monkey and climb.

But I'll tell ya what I'll do.

I'll bring ya a monkey who speaks Monkey.

- Oh, for real? - It'll be there Christmas morning.

- Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! - Thank you.

Grab your candy cane. Come on, young lady.

I am so excited to see Santa!

[chuckling]

That's fantastic, I'm so glad we came.

This is so lame. I don't want to be here.

I don't want to sit on that bozo's lap

with his fake beard and polyester suit.

Not fake, not polyester. Come on, Sarah.

Come on, Drake, this is lame, man.

What, you afraid you're gonna be on Santa's naughty list?

No, shut up. I'm sayin' I got better things to do with my time.

- Yeah, like what? - Yeah, like what?

But, sweetheart, you've always liked Santa.

News flash, kiddos, Santa isn't real!

Oh, really?

But you're gonna sit on his lap and you're gonna love it.

Alright, whatever, dude.

Look, man, just because you don't have a life doesn't mean I don't.

Then leave.

- Look, man, I was just tryin' to... - No, leave.

No one's stopping you.

Why did you even drag us here, mother?

He's a little old for Santa, okay?

I could be doing so much more with my time.

And, what would you like for Christmas, Victoria?

A pony with a diamond-lined saddle.

A pony with a diamond-lined saddle.

The problem with animals is we have to check with the parents.

And what can I do for you?

I want a swimming pool for Christmas.

A swimming pool? We have a problem with a swimming pool,

I can't fit it in the sleigh.

I really, really want a baby brother.

You really want a baby brother. Well, the thing about that, you gotta talk to mom and dad.

Santa can't help.

I would like to understand women.

You'd like to understand women.

I will bring you a book.

I really want a palace on a cloud.

The problem with a palace on a cloud,

I can't get it in the sleigh.

A gigantic pink limo with a mini mall inside.

- It won't fit in the sleigh. - [girl] A pet dinosaur.

The problem with dinosaurs is they're extinct.

- I would like a time machine. - A private jet.

Private islands don't fit in sleighs.

You're such an idiot!

I better get what I want this year, Santa.

- I hate Christmas. - You let me down last year!

I'm so done.

If I don't get what I want, you're gonna be in big trouble.

All I can promise you is, I'll see what I can do.

- Thank you, Santa. - Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.

- Come on, young lady. - Hi, Santa.

- What's your name? - I'm Cacie.

- Cacie, lovely name. - Thanks.

What would you like for Christmas, Cacie?

Well, I really wanna get my braces off.

[farting noise]

No, no, that was not me.

I don't, that's not...

Everyone does it, Cacie, it's okay. What else?

- Well, I also... - [farting noise]

Cacie, are you serious right now?

He's not even real.

I...

It's a fake Santa, get him!

I'm real, I just don't have a...

[all yelling]

Everybody settle down!

This is Christmas, not a wrestling match!

Okay, that's it!

[beeping]

Good Gobstoppers.

- What, what is it, Tiny? - Uh, nothing Diva.

It's not from Corky.

Guys, Tiny's got a video from Corky!

You do realize that this is it, right?

[all] Yeah.

If we pull the trigger on this, right here, right now,

we could go on strike!

Junior, send out the code!

Code 33, I repeat, it's code 33!

[yelling]

Bye, bye.

[chatter and yelling]

I'm so sorry, Santa.

Diva, no!

Are you guys really just going to leave Santa

in his most critical time of need?

That's how it's done, Tiny. Otherwise, we lose our leverage!

I'm not striking. I'm gonna stay with Santa.

Typical Santa sympathizer.

Are you guys just gonna leave?

What about all the nice kids? What about Christmas?

It's nothing personal!

Where's Junior? Do we have notice to old jelly-belly ready?

Put Saint Fuzzy Pants on the screen.

[beeping] [line ringing]

Why am I not surprised to hear from you, Diva?

You always seem to make your demands at the most critical time.

I gave you a Vision and Dental last year.

I can't imagine what it's gonna be this time.

This is more than just a demand, Santa.

- Shut up. - She's right, it's bigger this time.

It's different!

The elves, have decided, to strike.

What!

You heard her!

We're walking off the job on this one, Santa.

We want equal credit for Christmas from the public.

Yeah, we're the ones that have to check the list twice to see who's naughty or nice.

Not you.

And we want better working conditions,

which includes the kids that aren't brats.

- I can't control that. - Well, you need to!

We've been slaving around, making these monsters toys for years upon years

and guess who gets all the credit? You!

And we're the ones working and you're just the face.

As of now, the elves are striking.

Junior, send out the signal, Code 33.

I'm on it.

This is ridiculous, you can't do this!

Watch me, Nicky.

Bye, bye.

Now, where was Corky working? Atlanta! Atlanta.

Atlanta. Atlanta, ah...

- [kids shouting] - [sighs]

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Drake. Cacie.

Sarah. Johnny.

Zoe.

Cedric.

Welcome, my little friends. Welcome.

You have been hand-picked by me to save Christmas.

You see, my elves went on strike today because of kids like you,

so I figured it's only fair to recruit you to do their work.

Welcome to my boot camp!

- Oh, my God, you're real? - Yeah, oh, my God.

Santa, I for one always knew that you were real.

However, there has to be some kind of mistake

because I am a good kid and the elves would not go on strike

because of someone like me.

Yes, Mr. Clause, sir. I assure you that while I only have the utmost respect

for you and your decision-making abilities,

that I too have been miscategorized.

You see, I'm the kid that lets teachers know about kids

like, like him.

Dude, I don't know what you're talking about,

but you better shut your mouth, now!

There are no mistakes. You are all meant to be here.

You are standing in the middle of the training ground for our elves.

When an elf is chosen to be one of my helpers,

a very special honor by the way,

he or she is brought here to learn how to make the toys and...

...well be Santa's little helper.

Where is here?

That Johnny is only for me to know.

But what about our parents?

You know that they're going to be worried

and they're gonna look for us.

Ho, ho, ho! I'm not worried about that!

Sir, again, if I may speak, I'm so sure that my mother

is worried sick about me not being with her.

She won't even let me use the men's restroom at the airport.

I have to go in with her.

And I am certain that my father will be on the phone

with the cops looking for me and my sister.

He'll be looking for me.

I'm pretty sure he'll be glad you're gone.

- I would be. - Shut up, Sarah.

- You shut up, Cacie! - Children, enough!

The point is you are here now,

and it's your responsibility to take care of the grounds

and perhaps make some toys.

Dude, I'm not making any toys!

Yeah, I don't even know how to.

That's why you're at my boot camp!

Hello, brats, welcome to boot camp.

While you're here, you listen to us. We own you.

First, we're going to take a quick tour.

And then you'll get started with the basics,

shoveling reindeer poop.

Ew.

Welcome to boot camp.

Here's your boots.

Yup, this sucks.

Wait a sec, I was just at the mall.

You, this is your fault!

My fault, she's the pushy one.

Oh, me, I'm the only one that deserves to see Santa.

- Really? - Y'all are stupid.

Okay, face the front. Line up.

Follow us. And march.

Hup, two, three, four.

Get your hands off me.

Where the heck are we?

We have our work cut out for us.

Look, I don't know who you guys are,

but you have some serious explaining to do,

right now, or else.

- Or else what? - Or else we'll report you.

Then you're late. You've been reported and transported.

[laughing]

I demand to know what's going on here.

Unfortunately, brats, you have no position to demand anything.

So come along.

[computers beeping]

[alarm ringing]

[boy elf] A kid just got away!

Ugh, humans.

That's why we don't let humans do an elf's job.

I feel so bad for Santa.

I wish we could all just get along.

- [boy elf] Yeah. What do we do? - [boy elf 2] Let's call Skippy!

[girl elf] Yeah, Skippy, loves this sort of stuff.

Yeah!

[Drake] How the heck am I gonna get out of here

if I don't know where I am?

How did that crazy old man get us here anyway?

Who knew Santa was a psycho?

Take that back! Santa is not a psycho!

[laughs] What are you gonna do, little man?

- Beat me up? - You need to take that back.

Dude, the old dude brought us to some slave labor camp.

- How isn't he a psycho? - This is boot camp.

Boot camps are voluntary. This is a slave labor camp.

I didn't sign up for this.

[yelling]

What the? You little twerp!

[chuckling]

Santa's not the only one with magic powers around here.

That's impossible.

Quit your moaning, you're coming with me.

I guess Santa isn't the only one who's a psycho.

[speech muffled]

Don't make me tie up your legs, too.

Oh, my gosh!

[chuckling]

One got away.

[chuckling]

Kids, meet Skippy. He may look small, but he's got skills.

He was in the Elf Special Forces on their strike team.

Don't mess with Skippy.

Oh, that's what I forgot to tell you guys.

Don't try anything. We see everything.

How do you think we see who's naughty and nice in this world?

If we can do that, don't you think we'll see if you try to escape?

Who knew old St. Nick ran his operations like Big Brother?

- What was that, kid? - What, nothing! I...

He said Santa runs his business like Big Brother.

Personally, I can't imagine how someone could accomplish such a great feat,

year after year, without some type of surveillance.

- Can it, Cedric. - Yeah, Cedric, can it.

So, listen.

I've got a mani-pedi appointment at 4:30.

So if we could move this boot camp thing along, that'd be fantastic.

Oh, my God, Sarah, you are so self-absorbed.

You know, the entire world doesn't revolve around you and your mani-pedis.

Mr. Tiny I would like to go home and I would like to go home now.

So can we just get this going?

You know, help save Christmas and then we can go home.

Elves are happy, we're happy.

Alright, so your first chore is to shovel reindeer poop.

Now everybody grab a shovel.

- Uh, let's not and say we did. - Go!

Not so fast.

Now, grab a shovel.

[laughing]

- What's so funny? - Oh, this is a joke, right?

Oh, I know, we're being punked.

No.

Oh, this must be a new reality show then.

No, why is this so hard to understand?

Well, look, I didn't exactly come dressed to clean reindeer stalls.

I wanted to look nice for my photo with Santa.

Yeah, I didn't have time to change into my black shirt

before I was kidnapped.

We didn't kidnap you.

This is boot camp, now get to work.

Work.

Hey, does anyone know how to work this thing?

Let them try it.

I don't like this.

They'll figure it out. Eventually.

You guys wanna go get some chow?

Yeah.

It's so dirty!

No, no.

- Do you think they'll run? - Oh, most definitely.

That's the part about their spirits I do like.

They all seem to have that fight in them.

- Hey, don't make me! - Make you what, Cacie?

This is your fault, you had to see Santa.

How does reindeer poop have anything to do with making toys?

- I just don't get it. - This is insane.

More importantly, how do we get out of here?

I say we break out of this place.

- I'm in. - Me too.

Yeah, and I'm still ticked about missing my appointment.

I am not going to be left alone in here.

I'm in too.

Well, I don't think this is a good idea.

I think we'll get caught and then who knows what they'll do to us.

I don't care if you come with us, but don't rat us out.

I have an idea.

Alright, what's your name, elf boy?

- Johnny. - Okay, elf boy Johnny, I'm Drake.

And I'm in charge here. So shut up and listen.

Both of you shut up. And especially you, mall elf.

I saw you with that whoopie cushion.

I don't know what you're talking about.

What whoopie cushion?

You people are all a bunch of losers.

I don't know how I got stuck with this group.

You shut up.

I never should have gone to that dumb Santa thing.

Yeah, I wish it was New Year's.

- Can everybody just be quiet? - No, you be quiet!

Who put him in charge anyways?

What, would you rather be led by a guy in an elf suit?

- I don't know, maybe. - Uh, I would rather him.

Exactly, I'm leaving.

I just wanna go home!

Ridiculous.

Okay, let's go.

Guys.

Alright, here's the plan.

Why are we whispering?

No one's around here. No one can hear us.

- Hello! - Shut up!

Okay, so we're gonna run to the edge of the field

and then look for help.

Oh, that's a very impressive plan.

Thanks, I know it is.

Guys, shut up and please go.

I don't like this behavior.

I think we should follow the elves' orders.

Shut up!

Alright, go!

Go, go, go!

Oh, my gosh, we're in the Twilight Zone!

[screaming]

Stop screaming! It's so annoying.

Finally, we agree on something.

Well, clearly you don't know what to do

or where to go fearless leader.

Oh, oh and you do elf boy?

Yeah, yeah I do!

When we were cutting across the field,

- I saw the gates opening up. - Uh, who'd you see?

No one, but the gates keep opening and closing.

Obviously they lead somewhere.

Hopefully, somewhere far from here.

Come on.

What are they up to?

Wait, wait, wait!

I don't think rushing in is a good idea.

No kidding, it didn't seem to work too well last time.

But maybe, if we hurry, I can still make my appointment.

Enough with the appointment already!

When the elves find out about this, we're gonna be in big trouble.

We shouldn't be doing this. Guys come on, let's go back.

Dude, can it!

On three.

One, two ...three!

[whistle blowing]

We're back.

I'm pretty sure whatever this place is, it's violating some serious workforce laws.

This has got to be some weird nightmare or something.

You guys just don't seem to get it.

So let me try to explain this to ya one more time.

You were brought here to help with the grounds,

to free up more elves to make toys.

You may be assisting them with toy making in the future, if needed.

We can see what you're doing, ya know!

I told them not to do it, but they wouldn't listen to me.

I said it was a really bad idea,

but they were being so disrespectful.

It's because of bratty children like you that my elves are on strike!

You were brought here to fix what you've done.

Sir, again, regarding me, I implore you to reconsider.

This is a big misunderstanding.

- I'm a good child, not a brat. - Can it, Cedric!

Look, you're all here on purpose.

There are no accidents.

You are here to clean up the mess that you created.

Get to work.

And we always have our eyes on you.

Back to the stalls, kids. There's more poop to scoop.

Diva, ma'am.

Um... I was thinking that

in order to promote the good will

of elves worldwide, and reach more people,

we should include Jewish kids in the holiday.

You know, figure out how to combine Hanukkah more

into Christmas and Mr. Claus more out of it.

You're telling me you're changing your name

from Murray to Hanukkah Elf?

If that's what you think would be best.

Sure, I'll do it!

I'll be the face of Christmas

for all the Jewish kids around the globe.

I'm not sure how that's going to work.

Christmas is a Christian holiday.

That's a great idea Murray, I mean Hanukkah Elf.

Why should Christians have all the fun?

Logistically, ma'am, that would be a bit difficult.

Junior, we're looking to expand our elf brand, so why not?

Well, we do need a broader plan to present to Santa

when we meet him in mediation. This could help.

I think it's a great idea.

But if we're going to make more toys,

we're gonna need more elves.

That's a great idea!

Get marketing to run the numbers and get back to me ASAP!

I'm on it, Diva.

Okay guys, how are we gonna get out of here?

Dude, there's a camera.

Another one over there, too.

No wonder they know what we're doing.

Yeah, I saw some on the grounds too.

Maybe if we broke them?

We'd have a better chance of runnin'.

I say we try after dark.

- I think we're all in. - Guys, this better work.

I'm not going along with this, this time!

You guys are going to get caught, again,

and then who knows what they'll do to us?

I don't want any part of this okay?

Dude, if you're not with us, shut your mouth!

[scoffs]

Alright, it's time for a dinner break.

Make sure you wash your hands.

Oh, how wonderful. Mr. Tiny, you are such a great man... elf.

Well, what my fellow associates

don't seem to understand is that...

Can it, Cedric!

Alright, line up. We're going to the cafeteria.

So if we can keep his mouth shut...

...we would be able to escape.

I don't trust Cedric to keep his mouth shut.

Would you two like some cookies?

Oh, sure, I guess if there's one good thing

about being here is that we don't have parents going,

"Eat your spinach, eat your broccoli."

Cookies!

Actually, dear, our cookies are very nutritious

and taste delicious.

They have as many vitamins as a whole serving of vegetables.

Well, I was supposed to have my mother's lasagna tonight, and I really want it.

Well, dear, this one is flavored like lasagna.

We also have a whole turkey dinner cookie.

I'll take one of each!

Oh, my gosh!

Guys, this is the best lasagna,

lasagna cookie that I've ever had!

And what about that turkey dinner?

My mom only wishes she could cook like this!

Let me try one.

Oh, ew, ew, ew.

That's disgusting.

I wish you would have asked

before you just grabbed it off the plate.

That's a liver and onion cookie.

Maybe next time, you might want to use your manners.

"Maybe next time, you might want to use your manners."

This place is lame.

I cannot get out of here fast enough.

Aw, are you still whining about your mani-pedi?

How about you help us plan something?

Look, I just wanna get out of here.

So, whatever plan you two come up with, count me in.

We have a plan that does not involve Cedric.

We can't trust him.

[Cacie] Well, is it gonna get us out of here?

Well, yeah.

So, did anyone see the sleigh in the reindeer barn?

We saw it when we were scooping reindeer poop.

We lifted up the dusty tarp and there it was.

It was really cool, it had these rockets attached...

- Rockets? - Rockets.

Rockets? I thought his sleigh was powered by reindeer.

Oh, hey Cedric how's it goin'?

Rockets? No we just have a very vivid imagination.

So but these cookies yeah, they are great aren't they?

Wait, no, you just yacked on one.

I obviously just chose a bad one.

- Oh, yeah. - Okay, children.

Time to go to the dorms.

As a reminder, the elves sleep right next to your door,

so no silly business.

Right next to our door.

[elf] Go down the path, first door on the right.

[Zoe] I know this may sound a little bit corny,

but this place does have a little bit of magic to it.

Gee, ya think?

We keep on running through a field,

and then, poof, we're back inside a building.

The first time I tried to escape,

there was a little elf who threw magic dust on me

and all of a sudden, I was wrapped up in rope,

and he didn't even touch me!

You know, we could get our hands on the magic dust.

The elves are sleeping right next to us.

Maybe we could go in there and see where they hide it?

Magic dust.

Come on, guys, like, really?

You know what? Whatever, just get me out of here.

I for one am a firm believer in their magical abilities.

However, I do not condone stealing any of their belongings.

[chuckling]

Whatever, man.

This is where you'll be sleeping.

I have avoided sleeping on the floor my entire life.

And now it's come down to this.

Come on Sarah, get a grip.

You guys should be happy we even have somewhere to sleep

after your lame excuse of an escape.

Shut up.

This is awful, just awful.

Do you guys think they have any more cookies left?

Elf boy. Do you think you can get in that room?

Of course I can. We need that stuff.

I'll take a few of them out if I have to.

Wait, are you serious?

Because I could get in and out of that room without a peep.

I do it all the time with my sister's stuff.

You know in her diary, she says she has a crush on Max Falcon.

Really, I would have thought someone more like Russell...

Shh. Girls, please keep it down and stay focused.

- Sorry. - Sorry.

Alright, so you can get into that room?

Oh yeah, absolutely.

I mean, really, I'm the best at it.

Alright, sounds like a plan.

We should wait 'til they're asleep though.

Yeah.

[beeping]

Our production was down today. But, that is to be expected

since over half of the elves went on strike.

Well, we got our new recruits up here workin'.

How are the new recruits doing with their new roles?

Well, to be honest with you, they're having a rough time.

To be fair, it's tough moving from groundskeeping and stall-cleaning

to working with highly sensitive computer devices.

I'm well aware. Dare I ask how the kids are doing?

They seem to have done their jobs well,

after their attempt to escape, that is.

Mmm. Do we need to worry about that tonight?

No, sir, the magic gates are locked.

If they try to get out, it's gonna be a long night.

[all laughing]

Do we have any hope for better production numbers tomorrow?

Well, a little, but...

But at the rate we're going, we are way behind schedule.

Can't you reason with Diva and the strikers?

Well, I'll give her a call tomorrow and see what can happen.

I'm gonna get some rest. Keep an eye on those kids.

We need their help if Christmas is ever going to happen.

Good night, Santa.

[all] Good night.

Alright, you ready?

Get off me.

- Wow, she's good. - Yeah, I know.

Look what I got. The magic dust and the diagram of the sleigh.

- We're set. - Yes, we're goin' home, man.

Junior, where's the data that we need

for the number of elves that we need

if we are expanding Christmas for the other religions?

Oh, let me get Marketing in here.

Diva, in order to keep this a relaxing environment,

we need to manage your stress. So, deep breaths.

[breathing deeply]

Oh, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ma'am.

We certainly weren't expecting this kind of request.

I assure you, however, that our data is accurate.

My team is working overtime on this.

So, how much is it gonna cost, Mr. Fancy Pants?

Ma'am, according to our data,

it will cost Santa Claus twice as much.

[chuckling]

Fantastic, we can advertise in new markets

and show everyone who really runs Christmas.

All on Santa's dime!

Who made up that rule?

Murray, now known as the Hanukkah elf.

Ah, Murray, I love that guy.

[breathes deeply]

My life keeps getting better and better.

I can't seem to get the cameras in the kids' dorm room to focus.

It's really blurry.

Do you think we should call the electrician?

Do you mean, Junior? He went to the other side, remember?

Knowing him, he has this whole place hot-wired.

So they can see and hear everything we're doing.

Isn't that against policy?

I know there are some big fines

for violations on that type of stuff.

Do other holiday icons have as many rules as we do?

I know the Easter Bunny has some major restrictions.

We think we have it bad?

The home entry rules he has to follow are ridiculous.

But, if you think about it,

imagine what would happen if the kids woke up

to a giant rabbit hopping through their house.

[laughing]

That would freak me out!

[ringing]

Uh-oh. Santa, Diva's calling!

What's the matter, Big Daddy Claus?

- Not so jolly today? - What do you want, Diva?

Oh, I'm just checking in to see how your scab elves

and your recruits are getting along.

You really think those six nit wits can save Christmas?

Well, they're doing their part

so that the elves who haven't lost their minds

and joined your side can actually make the toys!

You've kidnapped six kids, St. Nick.

You've gone over the top.

I'm pretty sure that's breaking some official

Council of International Holiday Personality rules.

And not so saintly either.

I've just about had it with you, Diva.

I'm at the end of my rope. What's the reason for this call?

I wanna add to the list of demands, Santa.

Not only do we want to be equal as you

in the eyes of the public and better working conditions,

but we also want to deliver toys to the Jewish and the Hindu kids.

Which will require a substantial increase in our work force.

You do realize that your demands are unreasonable, right?

How can I possibly...

I don't need excuses, your royal Clausness,

I need results!

[grunting]

Here you go, dear.

How can I be responsible for how the public views the elves?

Or, control bratty kids!

Or, get other religious faiths interested in participating

in a Christian holiday? This is ridiculous!

- Oh! Have some milk. - Thanks, hon.

I need something stronger.

Why don't you bring me some... [clears throat]

...chocolate milk.

Good choice, Santa.

[snoring]

Yes, we made it!

We made it out the building.

We're a long way out of here.

This had better work, because I'm really tired.

And if I don't get my sleep, you do not want to be around me.

[Cacie] We don't want to be around you anyways.

Guys, shh!

I think I found the way out, come on!

Let's go.

Come on.

Are you sure it's a good idea to go in there?

I don't know guys, I don't like the look of this place.

What, you got any other options?

Hey, hey, guys, guys!

There's a light on the other side. Come on, follow me!

Oh, oh, no, I'm all by myself, I'm not going back in there.

- I'm going back to... - Hey, guys this way, let's go!

Johnny, you're an idiot. This is exactly where we started.

We just went in a big circle.

Guys, I knew we should have went right.

This time, follow me and hurry!

Ugh!

Again, some leaders you are.

Come on, Zoe, let's show the boys how it's done.

Oh, no!

Well, clearly your girl power is not superior to us men.

Guys, this place has to be magical.

We went in three different ways.

I know, but at least we didn't end up in another building.

So, maybe it was the magic!

"So, maybe it was the magic."

- That's so stupid Cacie. - Shut up, Sarah.

If you haven't noticed, there's some really weird things going on here.

Guys, I'm going it alone.

If I don't come back, it means I made it.

Well, we finally got rid of him!

Well, I didn't make it, but guess who I found?

- Hey, guys. - Oh, no, it's Mr. Blabbermouth.

Yeah, but he's out here with us. We left you behind on purpose.

Yeah, man, you're just as guilty as all of us now.

You can't rat us out.

Can't we just try for Santa's sleigh?

I mean, I have the diagram

and it, it looks like the reindeer are just props!

They're stealing Santa's sleigh.

How are they gonna pull that off?

They're not, they're gonna get caught like that!

I mean it's worth a shot.

How hard could flying a sleigh be?

Driving it is different than flying it.

Flying seems kinda hard.

Well, the diagram says that the wheel,

you like, pull it up and it goes up

then you push it down and it goes down,

so it can't be that hard, right?

Yeah, yeah, it seems easy enough.

All right, let's get to the barn.

Cedric, you ready?

I really don't think this is a good idea.

Flying the sleigh does not seem safe!

[Sarah] There it is!

You've got to be kidding me.

Oh, no, oh, no this doesn't seem safe.

This would not pass the FAA guidelines!

Shut up!

There's a barn door open!

It's probably just the wind.

- Check the kids' dorm room. - They're in the barn!

Oh, Gobstoppers, they're in Santa's sleigh.

- [alarm blaring] - Code stray sleigh!

- I repeat, code stray sleigh! - Claus, we got a runner.

Claus, we got a runner!

- This looks rickety! - Dude, shut up.

I think I can hotwire it.

I did it to my dad's car one time.

I'm not surprised.

Oh, no, look, it's right here!

[engine starts]

Whoo-hoo, this is gonna be crazy fun!

What, no, we're all gonna die!

I don't wanna be on this thing!

Oh, just shut up and strap in.

My hair does not do well in the open air.

Guys, how are we gonna get this thing outta here?

I know!

Would you stop crying?

- Oh, no, oh no! - Go!

[all yelling]

[yelling]

What in the name of Jiminy Christmas is going on here?

What do you think you're doing? You could be killed!

The sleigh cannot fly, but on Christmas Eve.

That's the rules!

I have had enough of you brats.

You're the reason that I'm in this mess in the first place.

Little snot-nosed kids like you,

always picking on my hard working elves.

No wonder they don't wanna go to work anymore.

Don't you get it?

Christmas cannot happen unless you get back to work.

I gave you a pretty easy task yesterday,

but today, we'll step it up a notch

since you don't want to cooperate.

Tiny? Get them set up to watch the videos!

- Yes, sir. - Get them started on it right away,

since it appears that they're not too tired.

Come on, you hooligans. Get out! Get in a line and march!

We're going to watch the videos.

A little bit faster!

Sit right there and don't move.

Come on in.

I'll go to the front, excuse me.

Stupid humans, always getting into trouble.

This is where we watch clips of kids' lives

to determine if they're naughty or nice.

- Dude, this could be fun. - Alright, sure, dude.

You think this will be fun, but pay attention.

Because by the 100th kid,

they'll all start to run together.

All you have to do is press the red button for naughty,

and the green button for nice.

Got it?

- Yeah, got it, - Yeah, mm-hmm.

And I'll be staying with y'all.

So no sleeping on the job.

I'm not stickin' around here, have fun.

Anna's spying on me again. I have to go.

I wouldn't want to spy on your stupid phone conversations anyway.

"He's totally hot, like, oh, my God, whatever."

[Sadie] Shut up!

You don't wanna hear what I heard about your boyfriend today?

Dude, you didn't hear anything about Jason.

You don't even know him.

Okay, I'll just go.

Wait, tell me.

Alright.

He was kissing Julie Sampson

by the courtyard outside of the school.

What? Oh, my God, he is such a jerk!

I knew it.

Oh, my God, who does he think he is?

[beeping]

I didn't ask you to do my project for me.

No, you blackmailed me!

[chuckles] Yeah, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

- What are you looking at? - Oh, I was just...

Turn around and do your homework.

I'm so nervous I could puke.

You're going to be fine, I promise.

No, you won't, you suck at everything.

Whoa.

- Thanks. - No problem, are you new?

Uh, yeah today's my first day.

Goodie-two-shoes.

- Can I look off your test? - What?

Itching powder?

I found this underneath my bed.

All I wanted was you out of my room!

Oh, nice!

- Shut up or I'll tell mom! - Tell her what?

Hey, punk, where's my cigarettes?

What a horrible person.

So why are you inviting her to your party?

I don't know, maybe I should uninvite her.

[laughing]

You do realize you're not going to last

one day in this school, right?

[bell ringing]

So how do you think you did on the math test?

I don't think I did very well.

Really, I though it was really easy.

Hey, guys, look who we got here,

a couple of dorks.

Just leave us alone, Drake.

Oh, or what, you gonna tell mommy?

Guys, I'm feelin' a little hungry.

- Really? Yeah, me too. - You got any change?

I only have enough for myself.

Nah, nah, that's perfect. Give it up.

You think you're so cool, Drake, but you're not.

Give me the change.

Some day, Drake, you're gonna be sorry.

[guys chuckling]

Guys, I'm gonna be sorry!

[boy] You better watch your back, man!

I know, red button.

Hmm...

- Hey, Zo, how are you? - Hello, mother, I'm good.

Good.

[groans]

Eric, come out! You have some explaining to do!

What explaining do I have to do?

Did you eat the pie in the fridge?

- No. - Yes you did, I saw you!

- Mom, she's lying! - Then what is this?

- I mean, whipped cream, but... - Busted, you know it.

- Grounded, get in your room. - Mom.

What? It was a mistake, I did not see the note, okay?

You blamed your brother. Speaking from experience, that's not fair.

Yeah, I know.

I'll be right back. You guys keep it down, okay?

Hey, loser.

That's not very nice, Johnny.

I call it like I see it.

So do you have any friends?

Yeah, I have friends of course I do.

I'll tell you what. I'll be your friend if you just let me get a look.

Let you see the test, no.

[spits]

[chuckles] Direct hit.

[sighs]

[grunts]

[all laughing]

What is going on in here?

He was looking at my paper and he fell.

Johnny, that was Eugene. What did he do to you?

- Nothing! - You were a jerk!

Yeah, yeah, I was.

[humming]

- Hello. - Oh, hi.

It looks like you've mistakenly assumed

that Michael, here, is interested in

anything you have to say.

I don't think it's a mistake, Sarah.

Whoa, girls, girls. Please don't be silly we can...

Michael, can I talk to Jennifer alone for a minute?

- Alone? - Yeah.

- Are you sure? - Just, just give us a minute.

Okay, okay.

- See ya. - Bye.

Perhaps you don't understand

that when a man is dating another woman,

you leave him alone.

Even a ditz like you should understand that.

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do about it?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do about it.

That should work.

Not my finest moment.

You're a cyber bully?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Sorry.

I am better than every other girl in this room.

I don't understand why I didn't get the lead.

Because Brianna has been very strong lately and she deserves it.

Brianna doesn't deserve anything!

Enough, now go and warm up

before I take you out of the show completely.

Ladies! Places, please, let us rehearse.

Come, come!

[chuckling]

Places and, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,

five and six and seven, eight.

And one, two, three, four, five and six and seven.

[screaming]

Oh, my gosh, I stepped on a tack!

Why is there a tack in the studio?

Who put it here?

Cacie, you put it here, didn't you!

Why would I put a tack in the studio?

Come, Brianna darling, let's go and get you cleaned up.

Here we go.

Why would you do that to me, Cacie?

Wow, I thought mine was bad.

Yeah, that's really embarrassing.

[girl] Can I trust you?

Of course you can, we're friends.

Well, you know how I always make straight A's, right?

Yes, that's why we're friends because we both excel in school.

I've been cheating in Chemistry this year.

- Cheating? - I feel horrible.

But I just don't understand it.

But how could you cheat?

I mean, even if I didn't know the material,

I wouldn't cheat.

That's so disgusting.

I shouldn't have told you.

What, wait hold on.

I can't believe you!

- What happened? - She's probably going home to study.

Study, wow, on a Saturday.

Tandy's mom told me she never gets less than A's.

It's amazing, what a smart girl.

Oh, she's not that smart.

She's been cheating on her Chemistry tests.

I bet her mother would love to hear about this.

Dude, you ratted out your best friend. Not cool.

She always acts like she's better than me.

Clearly she isn't.

Cedric, she confided in you.

You posted a pic of someone to embarrass them, that's bad.

Telling the truth isn't bad.

Well, what about gossiping to make yourself sound better?

It wasn't gossiping!

Alright, that's enough for tonight.

You guys go get rested up.

We have more work to do in a few hours.

I cannot believe what an awful sister I was.

I was so insecure.

I can't believe I acted like that.

Yeah, I wouldn't put either of you on the nice list.

Whatever, Johnny. You were being just as bad bullying.

Yeah, I know.

No wonder our parents aren't looking for us.

Dude, I don't even blame my parents.

I'm just a pain in the butt to them.

You know, those videos made me look like a complete jerk.

You know, man, I don't think so.

I mean, those videos were us at our worst moment.

I just think we couldn't have almost escaped

if it wasn't for you.

Yeah, almost. But we didn't.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this,

but I think you did a great job.

You had better ideas than any of us.

And you had enough guts to try and fly the sleigh.

Out of my way you scoundrels!

[Cedric] This is completely unfair. I don't belong here.

And these stupid kids with me.

Who do they think they are?

Trying to keep me out of their secret escape plans.

I'll show them an escape plan.

[groans]

Alright! Today's gotta be a better day, huh?

I can't take much more of this.

All of the elves are ready to start, sir.

They're just waking up now.

Hello, Claus Almighty. Top of the mornin' to ya.

Ah, Diva, you were on my list to call today.

You've been thinking about me?

- Aw, isn't that sweet. - [grunts]

My marketing group has estimated about 10,000 additional elves

to help with the toy production

for the Jewish and the Hindu kids.

Diva, let's be rational here.

How can I get non-Christian kids

to buy into a Christian holiday tradition?

I'll tell you what, I'm feeling generous today.

I'll cut you a break.

You won't have to worry about that until next year,

but this will be in our agreement.

Your demands are ludicrous, all of them.

You want me to change your public image, get naughty kids to behave

and convince other religions to buy into the idea of me and Christmas.

I'm Santa, not God!

So we're clear, I want you to get the other religions

to buy into the Elf Christmas.

Not the Santa Christmas.

- Ludicrous! - It is!

Figure it out fuzz-face.

There's no Christmas without us.

Your scab elves can't get the job done.

You're running out of time.

Who does she think she is?

[groans] She's right, we're running out of time.

But there's no way that I can get kids

to behave or their parents to respect the elves.

This is just not possible.

Santa, you can't give up.

Christmas has to happen.

There's gotta be a way.

Well, let's see how it goes today with production.

I'll make sure that all the elves know it's crunch-time, sir.

I'll get all the elves started.

I love you guys.

Wake up, wake up.

Hey, hey, hey, stop squirming.

If you don't stop squirming, I'm gonna use this.

You don't know how to use it.

Exactly, that makes it all the more dangerous.

Now, you're gonna start talking.

About what?

Where are we and how do we get out of here?

I don't know, I'm just an elf. I make toys!

You have to know!

You have to know.

You come here to make toys and then after Christmas

you go home to your, to your little elf village or wherever you people live.

- Who you callin' people? - Where are we?

- Cedric, what are you doing? - I'm trying to get us home!

But unlike you guys, I'm actually going to succeed.

Now, come on!

Where are we and how do we get out of here?

It depends on where you wanna go.

Home, I want to go home!

- Dude, chill. - If someone else tells me to chill,

I'm gonna chill on you!

Now, this little elf is gonna tell us how to get home.

Come on!

Move.

Santa, I know you can hear me.

You can see me when I'm sleepin' so this shouldn't be too hard for you.

We are tired of being here.

We are tired of being your slaves!

And I got your little demon elf here, too.

Move.

Move!

I know you can hear me, Santa!

Now, son, you don't really want to do that.

Elves don't do well in your world.

They have to be specially trained.

Cedric, are you sure this is a good idea?

It's too late for that!

Can it, Drake!

Send us home, or the elf comes with us.

You know what?

This isn't worth it, none of this is!

Officially, Christmas is canceled!

[gasping]

Half my staff is gone.

My loyal elves are workin' their tails off.

We constantly have to monitor these bozos

and we're still not gettin' the job done.

I'm tired. I've had it. I quit!

Cancel Christmas? What, how can this be?

But, Santa, what will we do for work?

It's always been my dream to make toys for you.

I've let my family down.

My family will be so disappointed about this news.

- Mine too! - I'll probably be disowned!

They'll all be disappointed in us.

Think about all the kids!

They can't cancel Christmas.

I've done everything that I can do.

I'm going on vacation.

Maybe, Waikiki.

Mrs. Claus has always wanted to go,

it's about time she got a nice present.

Now, you kids, you take a little bit of that dust,

toss it in the air, over year heads

and think about the mall where you were

and you'll be back there right away.

To my loyal, wonderful elves,

Make sure you ring Diva and tell her

there is no more Christmas this year.

So, her position and those of the striking elves no longer needed.

Uh... and you can go home to your families

and enjoy your extra time off.

Maybe we can get this all straightened out before next year.

Wow, I feel better already!

Ho, ho, ho!

I just have one more thing to say to all of you.

Aloha!

Now you see what you've done?

What did I do?

There has to be a way to fix this.

Guys, let's just go home.

This isn't our problem.

How is this not our problem?

We were the ones that were supposed to save Christmas.

Guys, why don't we talk to the striking elves?

If there's any time to leave, it's now.

I need to talk to Santa.

I can't be the reason why Christmas is canceled.

This can't be on me.

Come on, guys! If anyone can save Christmas, it's us.

Who's in?

- I'm in. - Okay.

I'm in.

All right, let's go talk to the elves.

[Johnny] Tiny, Tiny, Tiny! We need your help!

Why should I help you?

You're the reason all this happened.

Well, we came here to fix it.

Half the elves are striking because of you.

And the other half are on their way home

because Christmas is canceled. Because of you!

Give me one good reason.

I have an idea.

Well, actually it's, it's Zoe's idea.

We were just wondering if we could talk to the striking elves.

Yeah, we thought that we could convince these to stay

and maybe convince the other ones to come back.

I'll talk to Santa, I'll make it right.

Well, it might work.

No, it had better work.

It will, it will.

Talk to the elves.

Hi, I'm Drake, and...

...my friends and I, we'd like to say

we're really sorry for what we've done.

- I'll say! - Santa was jolly.

Did you see his face when he quit?

Those weren't rosy cheeks.

Yeah, I know, and we feel really bad about that.

You should!

Because of you, none of the children

are going to have a Christmas this year.

- Where are we supposed to go? - What are we supposed to do?

I know, we're trying to make it right.

Make it right? It's a little too late for that.

Please, listen, we've got an idea.

I want to talk to the striking elves.

I think I can convince them to come back.

All I'm asking is for you guys to keep doing what you're doing.

If we keep making presents, Santa will come back.

He never promised that!

He's Santa, of course he'll come back.

Yeah.

Alright, let's go back to work.

- Are you ready? - I guess so.

Good luck.

Thanks.

What is it?

Oh, who do we have here?

Zoe, is it?

Wait a minute, how do you know my name?

Oh, you haven't figured out we've been watching you, too?

Well, then I guess you know that Santa's quit.

Santa quit?

Junior, why did I not know Santa quit?

He just quit.

He got all upset that we tried to kidnap...

...you know what, actually no,

Cedric tried to kidnap one of his elves.

And I've never seen anything like it.

What about Christmas?

He said he's canceling Christmas and going to Waikiki.

But he can't cancel Christmas.

Christmas has to happen!

Well, no he didn't seem to think so.

I mean, he was really upset.

I just heard the news.

You realize this means that our union has nothing,

no leg to stand on?

Do you realize you're telling the enemy that?

What? We're not your enemy.

In fact, that's exactly why I'm calling.

You see, we came to ask,

no, actually beg you to come back and help us make the toys.

You like being an elf, right?

You like making all of these toys.

You like making sure all the little boys

and girls all over the world are happy

because Santa's little helpers are making toys for them.

Right?

Wait boys and girls think we make the toys?

Of course! Santa, well, he's just the delivery system.

Everyone knows that the elves do all the work.

Really? We thought they gave credit to Santa.

No, we know that Santa is just the one who relays the messages.

And we only ask him because he's the one who keeps the list.

- Wow, that changes everything. - Wow.

So, will you come back? Will you help us?

We really need you.

I'll go check with the other elves.

I'm pretty sure I can get the other elves to come.

I mean, after all, Christmas cannot be canceled.

Not on my watch.

[both] Yes.

Hurry back, we're already behind schedule.

We will, we will.

- Yes. - Yes!

I'm shocked. I didn't think you could do it.

Well, I guess, being nice and saying what you mean goes a long way.

You know what, I guess it does.

[bell ringing]

I'm back everyone!

So, you came back, did you?

I'm back, Twink.

I don't think you should have ever left, Diva.

I had to make a point for us elves.

But the things you were asking for, Santa can't help.

I appreciate last year's push to get vision and dental

added to our insurance plan,

but this year's demands were over the top.

You aren't on the front-lines!

Oh, I've been on the front-lines, Diva!

I meant with the kids.

You haven't been sneezed, coughed on, poked, kicked.

You haven't had the disrespect all the other elves have had.

This is not an easy job, Diva.

All the elves that are Santa's little helpers

are the best of the best.

They know what they're signing up for,

and that comes with the territory.

I wanted to make a difference.

You do make a difference.

You make a difference when you convince the elves

to make toys and do their best.

You make a difference when you support Santa and get the job done.

You make a huge difference. You're a leader.

Thanks, Twink.

[train whistle blowing]

[rock version of "Deck the Halls" plays]

Alright, everyone. It's time for a break.

I don't know how long I can keep up this pace.

I know, it's like double-speed.

How are we going to get this done?

I don't think we can.

Guys, what if they're right?

Yeah, this is like light-speed fast.

What if we got some of our friends?

Yeah, but how will we get 'em here?

Same way we got you guys here.

How exactly was that?

I'll show you, come on.

Okay, type your friends' names in and let me know when you're done.

- Alright, I'm done. - Okay.

I could really go for something to drink right now.

Where are we?

Drake?

- Dude, what's goin' on? - Dude, this is so cool.

Hey, you look different.

Yeah, man, you look... nice.

Alright, look.

Santa canceled Christmas,

and right now we're at Santa's boot camp.

I need you guys to help me build all the toys

for all the little girls and little boys all across the world.

[laughing]

Dude, you've seriously lost it, my man.

Yeah, dude, you've gone crazy.

No, I'm serious. I need you guys' help.

- And so do the elves. - Alright, the elves!

- The elves need our help! - The elves need our help.

Yeah, we got you!

I'm an elf. And we need your help.

- Yeah, man, okay. - Let's go, come on.

- Let's go. - Alright, follow me.

- Alright, yeah sure. - Let's go.

- Alright, Johnny. - Who would you like to bring?

I know someone who needs a friend.

This is what I'm talkin' about.

- Hey, Cedric. - Hey, Eugene.

Hey, aren't you the one who tells on us?

Hey, yeah, you are!

I used to be, things have changed.

We don't have time for that right now.

We gotta make toys.

Come on, guys.

This is my favorite, this is where we make the toys.

- I love it! - Wow.

Well, come on, I've got more to show you!

Alright, alright.

Good job, guys! We're finished!

The warehouse is full of toys!

We did it! Oh, my gosh, it's over.

We made all those toys for the little boys

and girls all over the world.

It's not over yet. We have one more thing to do.

We'll come with you. We were all pretty horrible to him.

Yeah, I need to go, too.

This is about cooperation and creating for the greater good.

Alright, let's go ring him up on the video phone.

[holiday rock music]

Tiny, give me your phone.

Code 99, guys! We're callin' Santa!

Come on, elves.

Well, look who it is.

Hey, hon, it's Diva!

Hold that thing steady now.

Well, Diva, did you get the kids to come over

to your side now, too?

- No, Santa I... - Santa, I'm really sorry, I lost it!

I don't want you to cancel Christmas.

You can't cancel Christmas.

Johnny thought we could do something, so he called Tiny,

Drake convinced all the elves to stay,

then Zoe called Diva and she brought all the elves back.

Cacie and I have been working really hard

to get all the toys ready, Santa.

You've been making toys?

We all have.

They're all made, sir.

Now we just need you.

Will you come back and help us deliver all the toys?

They're all made? The toys are ready?

Yes, sir! With help from the extra kids, we're ready for Christmas!

I'm amazed! I'm dumbfounded!

I'm flabbergasted! I don't know what to say!

Well, say you'll come back and deliver all the toys!

[bells ringing]

[all] Whoa!

Well, you've shown so much heart, how could I refuse?

[cheering]

There's still work to do!

Go, go get the sleigh and the reindeer ready!

Santa, I'm sorry.

We're all really sorry.

Yeah, after watching those videos,

we realized we were all bad.

Yeah, especially me.

We were all on the naughty list.

We're all just so happy that you came back.

Well, you should be very proud of yourselves.

Not only did you save Christmas,

but you brought all my elves together, too!

That's something I wasn't able to do.

You've shown what was in your hearts and you worked together

to make it happen.

That's some true Christmas spirit.

Oh, well, now it's time for you guys to get home!

Wait, we have a gift for you.

- For me? - Yep.

To show you that bad kids can be nice.

Oh, thanks, guys.

[all laughing]

I saw this and well, I thought of you.

Aw, I made you something, too!

Hey, I got you something.

Man, I got you something, too.

A magic set, that's awesome!

Legwarmers, thank you so much!

Oh? A book!

A mani-pedi gift certificate?

You are the best sister ever.

Oh, my gosh, it's so much smaller!

- A bow tie! - [Drake] Yes.

- You know I like spiffy ties! - I know, I know!

It's to add to your collection.

Kids, I thank you.

No, really. You've been great.

This Christmas couldn't have happened without you.

But now, I am bootin' you out of boot camp.

In other words, I'm sendin' you back.

Merry Christmas!

Hasta la vista, kiddos!

Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!

- We have a gift for you. - To show you that bad kids can be nice.

- I'm sorry. - We're all really sorry.

We were all on the naughty list.

Look who we've got here, a couple of dorks.

He was looking at my paper and he fell!

Yes you did, I saw you!

I am better than every other girl.

She's not that smart,

she's been cheating on her chemistry test.

You people are all a bunch of losers.

I don't know how I got stuck with this group.

I've got a mani-pedi appointment at 4:30,

so, if we could move this boot camp thing along.

I'm a good child, not a brat!

You know I got all the brains

and athletic ability in this family.

Newsflash, kiddos, Santa isn't real!

- I'm sorry. - We're all really sorry.

We were all on the naughty list.

To show you that bad kids can be nice.

[muted dialogue]

So, what do you want for Christmas?

[chuckles]

Ho, ho, ho!

Just try to get along and be helpful to all.

Being bratty and self-centered just makes you small.

No matter if you believe in Santa or his elves,

The important thing is to believe in yourselves.

[soft rock music]

Hello, there, Mr. Claus.

And what can we get you for Christmas?

Well, first of all, what's your name?

My name is Cedric, sir.

- Cedric, good name. - Yes, thank you.

And what can I get you for Christmas, Cedric?

I would like the Harvard Classics.

The Harvard Classics.

- Yes, sir. - I can do that!

- Thank you. - In fact, done!

Have a seat right here.

And what can I... what's your name?

I'm Zoe.

Zoe, great name.

And what can I get you for Christmas, Zoe?

I'd like a red bow.

- A red bow. - Yes.

Zoe, done!

You'll see it Christmas morning.

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.

- What's your name, young lady? - My name is Sarah.

Sarah, and what can I get you for Christmas, Sarah?

Can I get my own nail salon?

- Please? - Here's the thing about that.

What I can do, is I can bring you all 64 colors

of all the nail polish you want.

I can bring you nail polish remover,

I can bring you brushes,

I can bring you hand-cleansing brushes,

hand-cleansing soap, I can bring you bowls

for soaking your fingernails.

But then you have to develop it into a business,

but I'll bring you all the things to start, okay?

Okay, thank you!

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!

- You too. - I just don't know sometimes.

Come here, young man!

Have a seat right here since you're a big boy.

And tell me your name.

- Drake. - Drake!

Yeah.

- Drake. - Drake.

Great men have been named Drake.

Yeah, like me.

What do you want for Christmas?

A bunny.

A bunny?

Yeah, a bunny.

Uh-huh, I can do that!

- But here's the thing about bunnies. - Okay.

They fall in the category of girlfriends.

We have to get mom's okay.

- And what's your name? - Cacie.

Cacie, what can I get you for Christmas, Cacie?

Well, I would say number three on my list

is my own reality TV show.

Okay here's the thing about reality TV.

- I don't know anybody at the networks. - [sighs]

- So here's what I'm going to have to do. - Okay.

I'm gonna have to let you leave your phone number with my elves.

- Will do. - If we meet anybody with one of the four majors.

- Perfect. - We'll bring you up.

- Awesome. - But that's all we can offer you then.

- Okay, well. - Is that enough?

- Help Santa out, what's a narwhal? - A narwhal?

It's like, it's kinda like one of those things

you see in the ocean that like, swim around and it has like,

a big like, horn sticking out of its head.

- It's pretty cool. - Alright, animals?

Animals, animals, animals, I love animals.

Whew, it's rough this year. Come on, young man!

You're a little too tall for this line,

so squat down right there.

- Let's have a little talk. - What's your name?

- My name's Eric. - Eric's a good name.

- Eric's a beautiful name. - It really is.

Subtitles by explosiveskull

[melodic singing]

♪ Look outside ♪

♪ The snow is falling from the sky ♪

♪ It's in the air ♪

♪ Christmas joy is everywhere ♪

♪ It doesn't matter what's under the tree ♪

♪ As long as I got my friends ♪

♪ We're together through thick and thin ♪

♪ Friends til the end ♪

♪ And we're loving this beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful, Christmas time ♪

♪ Beautiful, wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ And we carol til we can't sing no more ♪

♪ See the lights all over the town ♪

♪ Beautiful, wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ Hot chocolate ♪

♪ With marshmallows as big as my head ♪

♪ Warm blankets, sitting fireside ♪

♪ With my best friends ♪

♪ The season's bringing ♪

♪ Good tidings to me ♪

♪ Happy ever after ♪

♪ Starts beside the tree ♪

♪ And we're loving this beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ And we'll carol til we can't sing no more ♪

♪ See the lights all over the town ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ It wouldn't be the same ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ I hope it never changes ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ And when the snow melts away ♪

♪ My friends are here to say ♪

♪ And we're loving this beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ And we'll carol til we can't sing no more ♪

♪ See the lights all over the town ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

[melodic singing]