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00:00:05,825 --> 00:00:08,344
...Southwark Crown Court
where Charles Ingram...
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00:00:08,345 --> 00:00:10,544
Army Major Charles Ingram
and his wife Diana
3
00:00:10,545 --> 00:00:12,904
arriving at court today
to face the cameras.
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00:00:12,905 --> 00:00:14,504
Inside, Ingram is to hear claims
5
00:00:14,505 --> 00:00:16,704
that he teamed up
with a coughing accomplice,
6
00:00:16,705 --> 00:00:19,264
alleged to be
college lecturer Tecwen Whittock,
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00:00:19,265 --> 00:00:22,064
to cheat his way
to the £1 million jackpot
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00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:26,482
on ITV's hit quiz show,
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
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00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:34,074
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contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:00:55,665 --> 00:00:57,105
Oh, hello.
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00:00:57,145 --> 00:01:00,645
I believe we're charged with
co-conspiracy.
12
00:01:01,025 --> 00:01:02,544
It's nice to meet you both
13
00:01:02,545 --> 00:01:04,905
at last.
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00:01:04,945 --> 00:01:09,344
Yes, the accused look,
and to all intents and purposes, are
15
00:01:09,345 --> 00:01:12,429
respectable middle-class,
middle-aged,
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00:01:12,465 --> 00:01:14,304
middle England men and women.
17
00:01:14,305 --> 00:01:18,505
At the end of the day,
this was just a game.
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00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:22,024
A television quiz show
enjoyed by millions,
19
00:01:22,025 --> 00:01:24,465
but creating in a select few
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00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:26,785
this unhealthy obsession
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00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:30,825
that spilled over
into an audacious heist.
22
00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:32,904
Who wanted to be a millionaire?
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00:01:32,905 --> 00:01:35,304
My God, these three certainly did.
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00:01:35,305 --> 00:01:38,225
You are facing a 50-50,
25
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,105
guilty or not guilty.
26
00:01:41,145 --> 00:01:45,145
The Crown believes the answer
to be self-evident.
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00:01:45,345 --> 00:01:48,265
They are guilty as charged.
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00:01:56,425 --> 00:01:59,424
Today, one home in three
throughout the British Isles
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00:01:59,425 --> 00:02:03,784
sits spellbound several hours a day
before a magic cube.
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00:02:03,785 --> 00:02:06,184
A new public service
is about to be launched
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00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:08,504
over the rooftops of old London.
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00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:10,864
Here it is, ladies and gentlemen,
a holiday of a lifetime.
33
00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:13,584
You've won a marvellous
14-day holiday for two.
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00:02:13,585 --> 00:02:16,744
You've got a radiogram
and a nice easy chair to sit on.
35
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,784
- Bern is the capital of...
- Switzerland.
36
00:02:18,785 --> 00:02:20,144
- Edinburgh.
- Scotland.
37
00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:24,184
This wonderful microwave oven and a
superb range of kitchen equipment.
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00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,824
Let's play Bullseye.
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00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:28,944
For £50. Who was beaten
by Martina Navratilova
40
00:02:28,945 --> 00:02:31,504
- in the 1987 finals?
- Steffi Graf.
41
00:02:31,505 --> 00:02:33,144
Welcome to Mr and Mrs.
42
00:02:33,145 --> 00:02:35,424
We've got two happily married
couples back there,
43
00:02:35,425 --> 00:02:37,784
ready and willing to hand over
their nuptials to me.
44
00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:39,824
It's nice to see you, to see you...
45
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,185
Nice!
46
00:02:54,225 --> 00:02:55,425
Hi, sir.
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00:02:55,465 --> 00:02:57,184
David Liddiment. I start today.
48
00:02:57,185 --> 00:02:58,464
What department?
49
00:02:58,465 --> 00:03:00,985
Uh... I think, uh...
50
00:03:01,025 --> 00:03:03,584
Well, I suppose all of them.
I'm the new Director of Programmes.
51
00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:06,864
Oh! Stand by your beds,
best behaviour, new boss is here.
52
00:03:06,865 --> 00:03:08,544
God, I hate changes of leader.
53
00:03:08,545 --> 00:03:10,504
And them wanky new ideas.
54
00:03:10,505 --> 00:03:12,264
David! Claudia.
Head of Entertainment.
55
00:03:12,265 --> 00:03:13,584
- Hi.
- Claudia, hi. How are you?
56
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:17,384
Surprise, surprise,
it's Claudia who gets to him first.
57
00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:19,704
- You look...
- I look... I look like hell.
58
00:03:19,705 --> 00:03:22,424
Just had baby number two,
that's my excuse, anyway, so...
59
00:03:22,425 --> 00:03:24,224
Uh... Time for a quick catch-up?
60
00:03:24,225 --> 00:03:27,465
- Walk and talk?
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
61
00:03:29,385 --> 00:03:31,344
I'm interested in events.
62
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,145
Event television.
63
00:03:33,185 --> 00:03:36,064
Why do the BBC always trounce us
in the big stuff?
64
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:37,904
Diana's funeral
a couple of weeks ago,
65
00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:40,104
one of the most watched programmes
in TV history,
66
00:03:40,105 --> 00:03:43,104
- and obviously, tragic as that was, goes without saying...
- Tragic.
67
00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:44,904
...people still want to
gather as a nation
68
00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:47,104
to experience
something big together.
69
00:03:47,105 --> 00:03:51,144
I'm just not sure the classic light
entertainment of old fits into that.
70
00:03:51,145 --> 00:03:52,305
OK.
71
00:03:52,345 --> 00:03:55,544
Well, we've always gotten
our game show formats from America.
72
00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:56,784
So time for something new.
73
00:03:56,785 --> 00:03:58,984
No, time to invent our own.
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00:03:58,985 --> 00:04:01,825
The classic TV game show can be
75
00:04:01,865 --> 00:04:03,824
the must-see TV thingy
that you're looking for.
76
00:04:03,825 --> 00:04:06,024
I'm not just saying that
to save my department's skin.
77
00:04:06,025 --> 00:04:08,824
Claudia, I've got Martin Bashir
coming in this morning to discuss...
78
00:04:08,825 --> 00:04:11,304
Very important, but if you just
let me bring some people in...
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00:04:11,305 --> 00:04:13,504
I have one. I think I have one.
80
00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:15,424
It's an old one.
The last gaffer rejected it.
81
00:04:15,425 --> 00:04:17,024
Brilliant. Why is it an event?
82
00:04:17,025 --> 00:04:20,775
Because they're going to give away
£1 million.
83
00:04:24,905 --> 00:04:28,424
The idea then would be that the
higher up the mountain you climb,
84
00:04:28,425 --> 00:04:32,184
the more your time would deplete,
the way that oxygen might deplete.
85
00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:33,944
No. Stop trying to complicate it.
86
00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:36,344
It's simple. Questions and answers.
87
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:39,424
Paul, for crying out...
This isn't 1955.
88
00:04:39,425 --> 00:04:42,184
Everyone else is making shows where
you spy on strangers in a house
89
00:04:42,185 --> 00:04:44,704
- or throw them out of helicopters.
- Yeah. Crap. Desperate.
90
00:04:44,705 --> 00:04:46,344
This is the show
we're going to pitch.
91
00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:47,785
Re-pitch.
92
00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:49,624
We could set it on actual mountain.
93
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:51,745
Well, like a little one.
94
00:04:51,785 --> 00:04:53,025
Like in...
95
00:04:53,065 --> 00:04:54,225
Wales or...
96
00:04:54,265 --> 00:04:56,424
Look, right, I'm with Paul.
97
00:04:56,425 --> 00:04:58,184
It's what we did
on the radio show with Chris.
98
00:04:58,185 --> 00:05:00,384
Answer a question,
you get it right, you double it,
99
00:05:00,385 --> 00:05:03,264
so you keep doubling,
so the higher up you go,
100
00:05:03,265 --> 00:05:06,224
the more you can earn,
but the more you can lose.
101
00:05:06,225 --> 00:05:07,424
People love it.
102
00:05:07,425 --> 00:05:08,944
But the networks don't.
103
00:05:08,945 --> 00:05:10,984
That's why they all
turned it down the first time.
104
00:05:10,985 --> 00:05:12,665
Fusty old game show.
105
00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:15,985
It's not a game show, it's a quiz.
106
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,945
That's the joy of it.
107
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,225
People love a good pub quiz.
108
00:05:22,265 --> 00:05:26,504
A uniquely British invention
combining our two greatest loves,
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00:05:26,505 --> 00:05:29,305
drinking and being right.
110
00:05:31,945 --> 00:05:33,504
Nope. Fine.
You write it down, then.
111
00:05:33,505 --> 00:05:34,784
Ever the teacher, you do it.
112
00:05:34,785 --> 00:05:37,024
- That's not how you spell that.
- Question three.
113
00:05:37,025 --> 00:05:39,584
The Living Room War was the nickname
114
00:05:39,585 --> 00:05:41,705
given to which conflict
115
00:05:41,745 --> 00:05:45,984
perceived to be the first truly
televised war of the 20th century?
116
00:05:45,985 --> 00:05:47,064
- Suez?
- Korean?
117
00:05:47,065 --> 00:05:48,744
- Maybe it is Suez.
- No, it was too early,
118
00:05:48,745 --> 00:05:50,464
we didn't have a TV during Suez.
119
00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:52,264
Vietnam. It's Vietnam.
120
00:05:52,265 --> 00:05:53,344
Are you sure, Dad?
121
00:05:53,345 --> 00:05:56,544
Uh... Who here got down
to the last four on Fifteen To One,
122
00:05:56,545 --> 00:05:58,144
toughest show on television?
123
00:05:58,145 --> 00:05:59,505
Vietnam.
124
00:05:59,545 --> 00:06:01,705
Diana. Diana?
125
00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:03,865
Telephone. Diana.
126
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,025
Guess who for 12 points.
127
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:09,304
"I say, darling, is that the time?
Deary me.
128
00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:11,504
"In the army,
one must always be on time.
129
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,425
"Golly."
130
00:06:12,465 --> 00:06:14,824
Oi! No phone calls. Cheating.
131
00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:17,264
I'm not cheating. We don't cheat.
132
00:06:17,265 --> 00:06:19,064
Charles, it's Tuesday,
133
00:06:19,065 --> 00:06:20,384
pub quiz night, my one night...
134
00:06:20,385 --> 00:06:22,904
No, hello, darling. No, no, no,
I'm not asking you to come home,
135
00:06:22,905 --> 00:06:25,744
it's just that Polly wants you to
hear her piano piece before bedtime.
136
00:06:25,745 --> 00:06:27,624
She's got all the way through
the first bit.
137
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:31,292
I'll hold the phone out.
One second. One sec.
138
00:06:33,545 --> 00:06:34,545
Go. Go.
139
00:06:47,385 --> 00:06:54,385
Question four, in which country was
the Rosetta Stone found in 1799?
140
00:06:59,225 --> 00:07:00,384
That's all I've got.
141
00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:01,784
That's all she's got.
142
00:07:01,785 --> 00:07:03,344
That's all she's gotten.
143
00:07:03,345 --> 00:07:04,704
That's all for now, darling.
144
00:07:04,705 --> 00:07:06,744
Oh, well, tell her well done.
I'll be home soon.
145
00:07:06,745 --> 00:07:09,495
- Lots of love.
- Next question...
146
00:07:14,105 --> 00:07:15,305
It's exciting!
147
00:07:15,345 --> 00:07:17,624
Brand-new school,
new children, new friends.
148
00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:19,784
It's just memorising all the names.
149
00:07:19,785 --> 00:07:21,144
They'll need a system.
150
00:07:21,145 --> 00:07:23,344
Can you call the landlord tonight
about the boiler?
151
00:07:23,345 --> 00:07:26,024
Last thing we needed
was cold showers this morning. Sure.
152
00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:29,504
- You feeling all right today?
- Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
153
00:07:29,505 --> 00:07:32,624
It's a bit of a step down, isn't it,
training other officers?
154
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:34,624
Well, it's a step around.
It's a step different.
155
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,984
It's nice to be near your dad
and Adrian, isn't it?
156
00:07:36,985 --> 00:07:39,544
Yes, although you should have
seen him last night,
157
00:07:39,545 --> 00:07:41,264
so competitive, he drives me crazy.
158
00:07:41,265 --> 00:07:43,464
But you're quite competitive too
in a lovely way.
159
00:07:43,465 --> 00:07:45,504
Nothing wrong with
a bit of ambition, Charles.
160
00:07:45,505 --> 00:07:47,184
So, it's multiple choice,
161
00:07:47,185 --> 00:07:49,464
which has never been done
on telly before, ever,
162
00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:52,424
and you get to see the question
and four possible answers
163
00:07:52,425 --> 00:07:53,864
before you decide to play.
164
00:07:53,865 --> 00:07:55,464
Right, so it's easier, then?
165
00:07:55,465 --> 00:07:57,744
No, if anything,
it adds to the torment.
166
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:00,224
And there's no clock,
they get as long as they want.
167
00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:01,464
Well, where's the tension?
168
00:08:01,465 --> 00:08:03,784
Because we're watching people
potentially
169
00:08:03,785 --> 00:08:06,945
making life-changing decisions.
170
00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:10,024
And we'll just sit there
and watch them go through it all,
171
00:08:10,025 --> 00:08:12,624
the whole gamut of emotions,
waiting.
172
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:15,064
And then there's also the matter of
173
00:08:15,065 --> 00:08:17,464
the largest game show prize
in the history of television.
174
00:08:17,465 --> 00:08:20,544
Right, yeah,
so you're gonna bankrupt us all.
175
00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:22,024
Oh, there's nothing to worry about.
176
00:08:22,025 --> 00:08:26,064
It would take a very unique sort of
person to risk going all the way.
177
00:08:26,065 --> 00:08:27,744
That fear is built into the show.
178
00:08:27,745 --> 00:08:29,544
Well, let's try it.
Play it with you.
179
00:08:29,545 --> 00:08:31,105
Now.
180
00:08:31,145 --> 00:08:32,864
Sure, why not? Love a game.
181
00:08:32,865 --> 00:08:34,624
And we thought,
to make things more real,
182
00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:36,344
you could put your own money in.
183
00:08:36,345 --> 00:08:38,065
£250, say?
184
00:08:38,105 --> 00:08:39,584
For the psychology, you know.
185
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:41,585
Oh, you did, did you?
186
00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:44,385
Right. Yeah.
187
00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:47,925
You think I just carry £250
around with me?
188
00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:51,705
Certainly close. 230.
189
00:08:51,745 --> 00:08:53,995
Claudia, do you have, um...
190
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,304
- What, you want me to put in...
- 20 quid, I'm putting in 230.
191
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,425
Yeah. Yeah, OK.
192
00:09:00,465 --> 00:09:01,625
Let's play...
193
00:09:01,665 --> 00:09:03,785
♪ Dooo...
194
00:09:03,825 --> 00:09:04,904
What was that?
195
00:09:04,905 --> 00:09:06,105
That's the..
196
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,824
The lights going down.
197
00:09:07,825 --> 00:09:09,544
Something along that.
198
00:09:09,545 --> 00:09:10,985
OK. Question one,
199
00:09:11,025 --> 00:09:13,624
what would an aborigine do
with his wurlie?
200
00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:16,025
Would he, A, eat it,
201
00:09:16,065 --> 00:09:17,905
B, hunt with it,
202
00:09:17,945 --> 00:09:19,785
C, play it,
203
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,945
D, live in it?
204
00:09:21,985 --> 00:09:24,664
Now, you have three
Helping Hands or something...
205
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,824
We're working on...
206
00:09:25,825 --> 00:09:29,185
You can phone a friend,
you can halve it,
207
00:09:29,225 --> 00:09:31,904
so there's a 50-50 chance,
or you can ask the audience.
208
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,384
Right, the halve it option.
209
00:09:33,385 --> 00:09:34,705
C, play it,
210
00:09:34,745 --> 00:09:37,425
or D, live in it.
211
00:09:37,465 --> 00:09:38,824
Sod it, live in it.
212
00:09:38,825 --> 00:09:40,104
Is the right answer.
213
00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:42,305
- Oh! - Yes!
- Double.
214
00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:43,825
You know, I...
215
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:46,064
- I really thought it was that one.
- Yeah.
216
00:09:46,065 --> 00:09:49,264
Question three,
who was the reigning monarch
217
00:09:49,265 --> 00:09:52,624
when Britain lost the war
of independence with America?
218
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,664
- Was it...
- George II. George III.
219
00:09:54,665 --> 00:09:55,944
No, no, George II.
220
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:57,064
- Right, do...
- George III.
221
00:09:57,065 --> 00:09:58,104
Do you want the options?
222
00:09:58,105 --> 00:09:59,344
Yeah, give me the options.
223
00:09:59,345 --> 00:10:02,144
Question four. Now, this is
to double your money again,
224
00:10:02,145 --> 00:10:03,424
- or you lose it all.
- Mm-hm.
225
00:10:03,425 --> 00:10:06,104
In feet, what is the length
of the Titanic,
226
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,465
663,
227
00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:08,705
773,
228
00:10:08,745 --> 00:10:10,585
883,
229
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,225
993?
230
00:10:14,065 --> 00:10:16,225
Well, I'll, um...
231
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,665
I'll use my last life boat.
232
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:21,024
Helping Hand, although,
actually, that's...
233
00:10:21,025 --> 00:10:22,824
Anyway, uh... Ask the audience.
234
00:10:22,825 --> 00:10:24,424
They'd each be given
a keypad to vote.
235
00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:26,664
Why don't you just ask them
out there, if you like,
236
00:10:26,665 --> 00:10:29,082
- as a sort of audience?
- OK.
237
00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:33,744
Oi! Listen, everyone, a sec.
238
00:10:33,745 --> 00:10:34,825
Uh...
239
00:10:34,865 --> 00:10:37,104
How long is the Titanic in feet?
240
00:10:37,105 --> 00:10:39,304
Is it, uh...
What were the bloody options again?
241
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,705
- 663.
- 663.
242
00:10:40,745 --> 00:10:42,145
- 773.
- 773.
243
00:10:42,185 --> 00:10:43,864
- 883.
- Yeah, I've got it now, thanks.
244
00:10:43,865 --> 00:10:45,225
883 or 993.
245
00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:49,184
Well, come on, the great
and the good, have a guess.
246
00:10:49,185 --> 00:10:51,685
Right, well, you're all fired.
247
00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:55,865
Bloody useless.
248
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,305
I'll stick.
249
00:10:59,185 --> 00:11:00,425
Keep my money.
250
00:11:02,305 --> 00:11:04,625
Yeah.
251
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,584
Yeah, there is something in it,
252
00:11:06,585 --> 00:11:08,705
but...
253
00:11:08,745 --> 00:11:12,264
if people do win more than
we get from the phone lines,
254
00:11:12,265 --> 00:11:13,432
we're screwed.
255
00:11:17,825 --> 00:11:20,184
I'll go halves on the risk with you.
256
00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:21,745
With ITV.
257
00:11:21,785 --> 00:11:25,225
I'll absorb 50%
of the liability myself.
258
00:11:28,505 --> 00:11:30,625
I want a pilot
259
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:33,145
and we'll see.
260
00:11:35,985 --> 00:11:38,504
Don't worry, in for a penny,
in for a...
261
00:11:38,505 --> 00:11:40,625
million pounds.
262
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:42,025
I, uh...
263
00:11:42,065 --> 00:11:45,104
need to go and have a very awkward
conversation with my wife.
264
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,985
It'll be fine.
265
00:11:47,025 --> 00:11:48,225
Fine.
266
00:11:48,265 --> 00:11:51,344
Let's just hope the first people
to phone in for the show are...
267
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:53,345
well, idiots.
268
00:12:11,745 --> 00:12:14,824
I hope you're finding it
peaceful here, Major Ingram.
269
00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:17,544
Beautiful part of the world
of course, Wiltshire.
270
00:12:17,545 --> 00:12:20,064
- Lovely walks.
- Absolutely. Yes.
271
00:12:20,065 --> 00:12:21,624
Plenty of space for the kids
to, um...
272
00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:23,959
And we have a cat now. Uh...
273
00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,504
for the family to...
274
00:12:25,505 --> 00:12:27,424
- Well, yeah, so...
- And you were in Bosnia?
275
00:12:27,425 --> 00:12:28,745
Yes, sir.
276
00:12:28,785 --> 00:12:30,304
- Please.
- Oh, thank you.
277
00:12:30,305 --> 00:12:32,544
Bit of a gear shift, though,
desk work.
278
00:12:32,545 --> 00:12:36,104
Well, I wanted a bit more normality,
I suppose, for my family,
279
00:12:36,105 --> 00:12:37,272
and I'd, um...
280
00:12:37,305 --> 00:12:40,065
I'd seen it with my own,
you know.
281
00:12:40,105 --> 00:12:43,264
When I was growing up,
my father in the air force
282
00:12:43,265 --> 00:12:45,704
and my brother in the navy,
and, uh...
283
00:12:45,705 --> 00:12:48,584
Although... Well, my mother does
something altogether different,
284
00:12:48,585 --> 00:12:51,065
she designs sets for plays.
285
00:12:51,105 --> 00:12:53,305
Ah, the theatre. My, my.
286
00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:55,904
And you were never tempted
to tread the boards yourself?
287
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:59,504
No, no, God, no.
Military life's a much better fit.
288
00:12:59,505 --> 00:13:00,705
It's, uh...
289
00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:04,384
Yeah, well, it's wholly away
from the limelight, isn't it?
290
00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:06,825
A uniform anonymises you
291
00:13:06,865 --> 00:13:11,184
and puts you in the service for
something else, something greater.
292
00:13:11,185 --> 00:13:13,224
Still, doesn't mean one can't enjoy
293
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:16,104
a bit of the old
theatrical razzmatazz, eh?
294
00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:18,744
♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major General...
295
00:13:18,745 --> 00:13:19,784
Gilbert and Sullivan.
296
00:13:19,785 --> 00:13:21,984
My other used to play it for us
on the piano.
297
00:13:21,985 --> 00:13:24,984
♪ I know the kings of England and
I quote the fights historical...
298
00:13:24,985 --> 00:13:28,544
♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
In order categorical
299
00:13:28,545 --> 00:13:29,545
Yeah.
300
00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:33,464
♪ I'm very well acquainted too
With matters mathematical
301
00:13:33,465 --> 00:13:37,704
♪ I understand equations
Both the simple and quadratical
302
00:13:37,705 --> 00:13:41,944
♪ About binomial theorem
I am teaming with a lot o' news
303
00:13:41,945 --> 00:13:46,504
♪ With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
304
00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:50,024
- ♪ I'm very good at integral...
- ♪ I know our mythic history...
305
00:13:50,025 --> 00:13:51,784
♪ I answer hard acrostics...
306
00:13:51,785 --> 00:13:52,985
Oh, dear, no.
307
00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:54,984
What's gone wrong?
We're on different verses.
308
00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:57,024
I think you jumped
to the King Arthur bit.
309
00:13:57,025 --> 00:13:59,264
Well, that is the next bit,
isn't it? I don't think it...
310
00:13:59,265 --> 00:14:02,424
But it doesn't matter,
we can go from your verse if...
311
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,925
No, no, the moment's gone now.
312
00:14:12,645 --> 00:14:14,525
Blimey.
313
00:14:14,565 --> 00:14:16,324
Maybe I should be paying
for lunch, then.
314
00:14:16,325 --> 00:14:18,044
Oh, Chris, don't be silly.
315
00:14:18,045 --> 00:14:21,684
- My treat.
- You've put your own house on the line, Paul.
316
00:14:21,685 --> 00:14:24,324
Is this a game show
or a Mafia racket?
317
00:14:24,325 --> 00:14:26,125
It's fine.
318
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,964
As long as we get the revenue,
which we will,
319
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:29,924
from people phoning in,
which they will.
320
00:14:29,925 --> 00:14:33,644
Otherwise YOU, Paul Smith,
have to put your own money...
321
00:14:33,645 --> 00:14:35,244
I mean, if someone...
322
00:14:35,245 --> 00:14:37,485
A million quid, my God.
323
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:41,164
Not if you, Chris Tarrant,
agree to present the show.
324
00:14:41,165 --> 00:14:44,205
A guaranteed hit.
325
00:14:44,245 --> 00:14:45,925
People will love it.
326
00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:48,444
You can sign them a cheque yourself.
Your name.
327
00:14:48,445 --> 00:14:49,725
Oh, me?
328
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:51,284
So I'm liable now too?
329
00:14:51,285 --> 00:14:52,644
As a gesture, that's all.
330
00:14:52,645 --> 00:14:55,084
Look, we'll film a pilot,
test the idea.
331
00:14:55,085 --> 00:14:56,502
At least do that.
332
00:14:57,485 --> 00:14:59,924
Come on, how can you not want
to be a part of this?
333
00:14:59,925 --> 00:15:01,885
It'll be...
334
00:15:01,925 --> 00:15:03,565
fun.
335
00:15:03,605 --> 00:15:08,845
♪ You take me over the rainbow
And up to Cloud Nine
336
00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:13,205
♪ I'm flying high
Like a bird in the sky... ♪
337
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,445
Welcome back to Cash Mountain.
338
00:15:16,485 --> 00:15:18,445
OK, contestants...
339
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,405
- Go tighter.
- Stand by...
340
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:22,764
You will hear three beeps.
341
00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:26,044
After the third beep,
four possible answers will appear.
342
00:15:26,045 --> 00:15:28,484
The fastest
to select the right answer
343
00:15:28,485 --> 00:15:32,044
will be next in our hot seat
to play for £1 million.
344
00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:34,444
- OK, here we go.
- Tighter, OK.
345
00:15:34,445 --> 00:15:39,565
Which of these countries
has a Union Jack on its flag?
346
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,605
Four possible answers.
347
00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:47,324
Look, before you say anything,
I know.
348
00:15:47,325 --> 00:15:48,684
I'm holding my hands up.
349
00:15:48,685 --> 00:15:50,044
The pilot looks a mess.
350
00:15:50,045 --> 00:15:53,444
- The design is all wrong.
- Mess is a bit harsh, but it's too...
351
00:15:53,445 --> 00:15:54,645
Happy clappy.
352
00:15:54,685 --> 00:15:57,244
It's too Saturday night,
jazz hands, it's all tits and teeth.
353
00:15:57,245 --> 00:15:58,964
Can we still say tits and teeth?
354
00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:00,964
But we'll find it, David, trust us.
355
00:16:00,965 --> 00:16:03,524
- Please. Something harder, darker.
- For the drama.
356
00:16:03,525 --> 00:16:05,164
We want the audience to be...
357
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,084
All right, listen. Listen.
358
00:16:07,085 --> 00:16:09,419
This is Jeff, our scheduler.
359
00:16:10,405 --> 00:16:12,205
Schedule. You...
360
00:16:12,245 --> 00:16:14,444
What do you mean?
Do you mean that we're on?
361
00:16:14,445 --> 00:16:16,484
We're gonna try and strip it.
362
00:16:16,485 --> 00:16:18,844
Lift seven days
out of our autumn schedule
363
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:22,404
and run it every night for a week
at peak times.
364
00:16:22,405 --> 00:16:24,165
Event television.
365
00:16:24,205 --> 00:16:26,045
Strip a game show?
366
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,964
Peak times, same time
every night of the week?
367
00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:29,844
There's something in it.
368
00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,244
In the DNA of the game.
369
00:16:31,245 --> 00:16:32,645
Watching it.
370
00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:34,805
It's really exciting.
371
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:38,004
But yes, it looks shit right now,
so fix that,
372
00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:41,165
and fast. Oh, and the title's crap.
373
00:16:41,205 --> 00:16:42,872
It needs a new name.
374
00:16:48,445 --> 00:16:50,444
Oh, my God! Oh, my... Oh, my...
375
00:16:50,445 --> 00:16:51,965
Oh, my God.
376
00:16:52,005 --> 00:16:53,325
Ha-ha-ha!
377
00:16:53,365 --> 00:16:54,725
Whoo! Ah!
378
00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:57,085
Drama.
379
00:16:57,125 --> 00:16:58,685
Tension.
380
00:16:58,725 --> 00:17:01,365
Drama in-built into everything.
381
00:17:01,405 --> 00:17:03,965
Including the chair.
382
00:17:04,005 --> 00:17:05,255
Remember, um...
383
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,645
Mastermind?
384
00:17:06,685 --> 00:17:08,284
That set was designed
by a chap
385
00:17:08,285 --> 00:17:11,619
who had been interrogated
by the Gestapo.
386
00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:16,485
I want audio speakers
inside the seat,
387
00:17:16,525 --> 00:17:18,805
vibrating with heavy sound,
388
00:17:18,845 --> 00:17:21,644
pulsating up through the contestant.
389
00:17:21,645 --> 00:17:24,565
Gah-gung, gah-gung, OK?
390
00:17:24,605 --> 00:17:26,725
Next, the lights.
391
00:17:26,765 --> 00:17:28,885
Darker.
392
00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:41,165
♪ Who wants to be a millionaire?
393
00:17:41,205 --> 00:17:42,885
I do.
394
00:17:47,365 --> 00:17:49,564
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition
395
00:17:49,565 --> 00:17:52,164
of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
396
00:17:52,165 --> 00:17:54,444
All you have to do
is call this number.
397
00:17:54,445 --> 00:17:58,862
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,
Thursday at eight, ITV.
398
00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:13,404
- Come on, it's about to start!
- What's about to start?
399
00:18:13,405 --> 00:18:16,284
That new quiz show that's been
plastered everywhere. Adrian's here.
400
00:18:16,285 --> 00:18:18,484
Adrian, your brother?
I thought it was our night in.
401
00:18:18,485 --> 00:18:21,924
Oh, sorry, it's just a thing
that we do together, that's all.
402
00:18:21,925 --> 00:18:24,645
Come on, it's fun.
403
00:18:24,685 --> 00:18:26,045
Hello.
404
00:18:26,085 --> 00:18:27,525
Adrian?
405
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,164
- Um... I brought pizza.
- We already have pizza.
406
00:18:30,165 --> 00:18:32,604
- Your message said, "No pizza."
- Yes, "No pizza."
407
00:18:32,605 --> 00:18:36,124
Yes, as in, "We don't have any
pizza, no pizza, so bring pizza."
408
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:39,564
No, no. "Pizza, we already have lots
of pizza, don't bring pizza."
409
00:18:39,565 --> 00:18:41,205
Stop saying pizza!
410
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,684
We're about to make
television history.
411
00:18:43,685 --> 00:18:50,005
For the first time on UK TV, we have
a top prize available of £1 million.
412
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:53,245
And it could be won here tonight.
413
00:18:53,285 --> 00:18:55,405
No tricks, no traps.
414
00:18:55,445 --> 00:19:00,029
Contestants can leave here tonight
with big cash prizes.
415
00:19:02,805 --> 00:19:05,205
Two, tight in.
416
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,525
Four, pull back.
417
00:19:13,605 --> 00:19:15,404
I'm gonna take the money, Chris.
418
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:16,565
Just there.
419
00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:19,205
God. SO dull.
420
00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:24,565
It gives me SO much pleasure
421
00:19:24,605 --> 00:19:28,885
to give you a cheque for £64,000!
422
00:19:28,925 --> 00:19:31,724
Come on.
Why isn't it taking off yet?
423
00:19:31,725 --> 00:19:33,124
Where's the bloody tension?
424
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:36,364
It's fine. It's fine, Paul,
it just needs bedding in.
425
00:19:36,365 --> 00:19:37,565
Be patient.
426
00:19:37,605 --> 00:19:41,165
As Graham leaves
with 64,000 smackeroonies.
427
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:43,925
Good heavens. £64,000.
428
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,085
That's ridiculous.
429
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:47,604
Shh, yes, we know.
430
00:19:47,605 --> 00:19:49,565
Come on.
431
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,924
I'm not sure yet, you know.
432
00:19:50,925 --> 00:19:53,425
This all seems a bit dramatic.
433
00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:56,044
Let's see who got there quickest.
434
00:19:56,045 --> 00:19:59,244
The next fastest finger
is Rachel Da Costa!
435
00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:00,324
Come on, come on.
436
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:03,124
So, Rachel, what would you do
if you won £1 million?
437
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:07,845
I would clear all mine
and my fiance's debts,
438
00:20:07,885 --> 00:20:11,284
sort out our business,
buy a house and get married.
439
00:20:11,285 --> 00:20:13,124
You could get married
tomorrow morning.
440
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,924
The business isn't in a situation
where we could do it at the moment.
441
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:16,964
God, bless her.
442
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:21,964
Well, you are only 15 questions
away from winning £1 million,
443
00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:24,925
- so let's play...- Just insane.
444
00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:26,005
For £100...
445
00:20:26,045 --> 00:20:27,725
For £1,000...
446
00:20:27,765 --> 00:20:29,125
For £8,000...
447
00:20:29,165 --> 00:20:32,324
Oh, uh... Humphrey Bogart's
cafe owner in Casablanca is...
448
00:20:32,325 --> 00:20:34,044
Sam, isn't it? "Play it again, Sam."
449
00:20:34,045 --> 00:20:35,964
No. Common misconception.
450
00:20:35,965 --> 00:20:37,285
It's Rick.
451
00:20:37,325 --> 00:20:38,564
Definitely, the cafe owner.
452
00:20:38,565 --> 00:20:39,804
- Rick.
- When did you last see it?
453
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,964
I've never seen it, but, you know,
454
00:20:41,965 --> 00:20:43,724
you learn things,
encyclopaedias, books.
455
00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:45,964
Might be nice to actually watch
the films now and again.
456
00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:48,884
- Don't have the time.
- Yeah, yeah, tricky.
457
00:20:48,885 --> 00:20:51,444
- I'll go for Rick.
- Is the correct answer!
458
00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:54,085
You've just won £8,000!
459
00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:56,685
For £16,000,
460
00:20:56,725 --> 00:21:01,485
which English county
has a border with only one other?
461
00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:02,565
Devon,
462
00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:03,805
Norfolk,
463
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,045
Cornwall,
464
00:21:05,085 --> 00:21:06,165
Kent?
465
00:21:06,205 --> 00:21:08,084
God, look, she's shaking.
466
00:21:08,085 --> 00:21:10,284
- Why?
- Cos she wants to get married.
467
00:21:10,285 --> 00:21:12,452
- Phone my dad.
- Your dad?
468
00:21:15,085 --> 00:21:16,245
Hello?
469
00:21:16,285 --> 00:21:18,164
Jack, uh... it's Chris Tarrant here.
470
00:21:18,165 --> 00:21:19,644
- Hello.- Hello, Jack.
471
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,404
We've got your daughter
live on the show.
472
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,325
She has £8,000.
473
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,404
That wedding's getting
a little bit closer,
474
00:21:25,405 --> 00:21:27,564
but she's not quite there yet...
475
00:21:27,565 --> 00:21:29,245
Move in closer.
476
00:21:29,285 --> 00:21:30,285
Closer.
477
00:21:30,325 --> 00:21:32,324
- ...so no pressure.
- I understand.
478
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:35,444
The next voice you hear
will be Rachel's.
479
00:21:35,445 --> 00:21:37,565
Rachel, talk to your dad.
480
00:21:37,605 --> 00:21:40,444
Which English county
has a border with only one other?
481
00:21:40,445 --> 00:21:43,204
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall, or Kent?
482
00:21:43,205 --> 00:21:44,525
I have no idea.
483
00:21:46,365 --> 00:21:47,765
Oh, my God.
484
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:50,244
I'm sorry, Rachel,
I can't help you on geography.
485
00:21:50,245 --> 00:21:52,004
Um... Give me again.
486
00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:54,765
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall or Kent.
487
00:21:54,805 --> 00:21:57,085
Devon, Norfolk...
488
00:21:57,125 --> 00:21:59,605
Dad, help me.
489
00:21:59,645 --> 00:22:03,125
Take the eight grand, Rachel.
490
00:22:03,165 --> 00:22:05,685
I'll take the money.
491
00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,964
Oh. Let's give her a big hand,
ladies and gentlemen.
492
00:22:07,965 --> 00:22:09,765
£8,000!
493
00:22:10,925 --> 00:22:13,284
I mean, £8,000
is a very large amount of money.
494
00:22:13,285 --> 00:22:15,164
That wedding just got
a little bit closer.
495
00:22:15,165 --> 00:22:17,765
Oh, Dad!
496
00:22:17,805 --> 00:22:19,925
Uh...
497
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:21,845
Just before you go,
498
00:22:21,885 --> 00:22:26,045
uh... suppose you had answered,
499
00:22:26,085 --> 00:22:28,124
what would your answer have been?
500
00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:29,285
Cornwall.
501
00:22:31,565 --> 00:22:33,245
Pfft!
502
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,004
- Oh, Rachel.
- It's not funny.
503
00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:36,924
I'm sorry.
You would have won £16,000.
504
00:22:36,925 --> 00:22:38,564
I'm sorry, but look,
what am I saying?
505
00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,205
Oh, my goodness.
506
00:22:40,245 --> 00:22:41,885
It works.
507
00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:43,724
Oh, grow a pair, would you?
508
00:22:43,725 --> 00:22:45,244
We've got a hit on our hands.
509
00:22:45,245 --> 00:22:46,925
Ha-ha!
510
00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:48,884
Well, if you want to be
in with a chance to play,
511
00:22:48,885 --> 00:22:52,052
all you have to do
is call this number.
512
00:23:06,445 --> 00:23:08,765
All right, Claudia. Hit me.
513
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,884
Hit you?
Kiss you, marry you, more like.
514
00:23:11,885 --> 00:23:13,765
We got 9 million.
515
00:23:13,805 --> 00:23:16,245
9 million viewers!
516
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:28,989
Nothing to say
you can't try more than once.
517
00:23:30,765 --> 00:23:32,525
- Hello.- Hello.
518
00:23:32,565 --> 00:23:35,524
Hello and welcome to Celador
and the Who Wants To Be...
519
00:23:35,525 --> 00:23:39,109
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition of...
520
00:23:40,805 --> 00:23:43,165
- Paul Smith.
- 16 million.
521
00:23:46,405 --> 00:23:49,484
Walking away with a cheque for
£8,000!
522
00:23:49,485 --> 00:23:52,005
£64,000!
523
00:23:52,045 --> 00:23:56,725
- £125,000.
- Oh, my God.
524
00:23:56,765 --> 00:23:59,925
I'm going on!
I'm going on the show!
525
00:23:59,965 --> 00:24:01,885
- Oh, my gosh!
- Bravo!
526
00:24:01,925 --> 00:24:03,364
How many times did you have to call?
527
00:24:03,365 --> 00:24:05,125
I don't know.
528
00:24:05,165 --> 00:24:07,604
50, maybe? Anyway, and you can talk.
529
00:24:07,605 --> 00:24:09,085
Anyway,
530
00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:11,209
do you wanna be my guest?
531
00:24:19,005 --> 00:24:21,525
194 calls I made to get here.
532
00:24:21,565 --> 00:24:23,244
Arm and a leg it's costing me.
533
00:24:23,245 --> 00:24:25,644
Well, that's nothing.
I did over 300.
534
00:24:25,645 --> 00:24:27,444
You just need a system, that's all.
535
00:24:27,445 --> 00:24:28,764
Not willy-nilly.
536
00:24:28,765 --> 00:24:30,964
Did you know that they publish
the call volumes
537
00:24:30,965 --> 00:24:32,004
- on the website?
- Website.
538
00:24:32,005 --> 00:24:33,644
Yes. You know, a few of us fans
539
00:24:33,645 --> 00:24:36,684
are starting to share
a little bit of intel.
540
00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:39,404
You know, information
here and there.
541
00:24:39,405 --> 00:24:42,404
If you're serious about this,
and you have to be serious.
542
00:24:42,405 --> 00:24:44,565
I'm serious. Uh...
543
00:24:44,605 --> 00:24:47,565
We're serious.
544
00:24:47,605 --> 00:24:49,045
What?
545
00:24:49,085 --> 00:24:51,124
I could give you the number
of someone who...
546
00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:53,245
sort of...
547
00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:56,365
helps quiz fans onto the show.
548
00:25:01,485 --> 00:25:06,084
Put these days of
the week into alphabetical order.
549
00:25:06,085 --> 00:25:09,645
Sunday, Wednesday, Monday, Thursday.
550
00:25:12,165 --> 00:25:14,364
And the person who was fastest was
551
00:25:14,365 --> 00:25:17,045
Maggie Pierce in four seconds!
552
00:25:17,085 --> 00:25:19,919
Well done, my darling. Come on up!
553
00:25:20,565 --> 00:25:22,525
And the winner is...
554
00:25:22,565 --> 00:25:24,228
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
555
00:25:24,229 --> 00:25:25,534
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
556
00:25:25,535 --> 00:25:27,284
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
557
00:25:27,285 --> 00:25:29,844
- Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
- Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
558
00:25:29,845 --> 00:25:31,204
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
559
00:25:31,205 --> 00:25:33,705
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
560
00:25:34,485 --> 00:25:37,045
19 million.
561
00:25:37,085 --> 00:25:38,205
19 million!
562
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:40,724
That's one third
of the population, Paul.
563
00:25:40,725 --> 00:25:42,284
Thank you, Claudia.
564
00:25:42,285 --> 00:25:43,365
Paul!
565
00:25:43,405 --> 00:25:45,844
Reception just said
the Americans are here.
566
00:25:45,845 --> 00:25:48,165
Jesus Christ, it's ABC,
567
00:25:48,205 --> 00:25:49,605
which is Disney.
568
00:25:49,645 --> 00:25:51,445
It's owned by Disney.
569
00:25:51,485 --> 00:25:53,524
Basically, Mickey Mouse
is coming up the stairs.
570
00:25:53,525 --> 00:25:55,125
Could you just...
571
00:25:55,165 --> 00:25:56,332
a little cool.
572
00:26:02,925 --> 00:26:05,325
Mr Smith.
573
00:26:10,645 --> 00:26:12,044
No, he didn't. He actually knelt?
574
00:26:12,045 --> 00:26:15,165
No, he did. He knelt on the floor.
575
00:26:15,205 --> 00:26:17,524
We've just sold entertainment
to the Americans.
576
00:26:17,525 --> 00:26:19,804
That is entertainment
to the Americans.
577
00:26:19,805 --> 00:26:21,605
The Americans!
578
00:26:21,645 --> 00:26:24,059
Hey-hey!
579
00:26:25,845 --> 00:26:27,764
The game show
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
580
00:26:27,765 --> 00:26:30,524
has now been sold to multiple
territories in the US.
581
00:26:30,525 --> 00:26:31,724
CEO Michael Eisner said,
582
00:26:31,725 --> 00:26:33,875
"Who knew that the fate of ABC
583
00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:36,324
"would be saved by
a little British game show?"
584
00:26:36,325 --> 00:26:37,884
It's helped the ABC network
585
00:26:37,885 --> 00:26:41,324
leap from fourth in the ratings war
in the United States to first.
586
00:26:41,325 --> 00:26:43,044
The millionaire show,
587
00:26:43,045 --> 00:26:45,564
which has attracted audiences
of 19 million in the UK,
588
00:26:45,565 --> 00:26:48,982
where it's presented
by Chris Tarrant...
589
00:27:01,805 --> 00:27:03,645
Hello.
590
00:27:03,685 --> 00:27:05,404
Hello. Paddy Spooner?
591
00:27:05,405 --> 00:27:07,925
Mr Spooner.
592
00:27:28,370 --> 00:27:30,729
You weren't followed?
You came alone?
593
00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:33,889
Alone? No, you didn't say to come
alone, I've brought my kids.
594
00:27:33,890 --> 00:27:35,690
You what?
595
00:27:35,730 --> 00:27:37,814
I've got my kids outside.
596
00:27:38,570 --> 00:27:41,237
You've brought your bloody kids.
597
00:27:42,050 --> 00:27:43,800
Do you know who I am?
598
00:27:45,170 --> 00:27:47,730
You're Paddy Spooner.
599
00:27:47,770 --> 00:27:49,369
You got in the chair three times,
600
00:27:49,370 --> 00:27:52,449
even though the rules say you can
only sit in the hot seat once.
601
00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:53,849
No, three different versions.
602
00:27:53,850 --> 00:27:55,049
Three countries.
603
00:27:55,050 --> 00:27:58,250
Australia, Ireland, UK.
604
00:27:58,290 --> 00:28:00,010
They don't check.
605
00:28:00,050 --> 00:28:02,634
There's a lot they don't check.
606
00:28:03,770 --> 00:28:06,687
I've been working with some people.
607
00:28:08,010 --> 00:28:12,810
An underground, sort of, community
has sprung up.
608
00:28:12,850 --> 00:28:17,850
Fans of the show that have grown
into an unlikely resistance
609
00:28:17,890 --> 00:28:20,089
in the quiet little villages
of England.
610
00:28:20,090 --> 00:28:22,289
The perfect place
to plan our attack.
611
00:28:22,290 --> 00:28:24,090
Um... Attack what?
612
00:28:24,130 --> 00:28:26,130
The show, of course.
613
00:28:26,170 --> 00:28:28,610
Breaking into the show.
614
00:28:28,650 --> 00:28:30,249
In the world of quizzing,
615
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:32,849
the man who has the questions
may be king,
616
00:28:32,850 --> 00:28:34,889
but the man who has all the answers
617
00:28:34,890 --> 00:28:36,090
is God.
618
00:28:36,130 --> 00:28:39,649
To the nearest metre,
how long is the Humber Bridge?
619
00:28:39,650 --> 00:28:41,969
- ...Is the Mississippi River?
- ..the Titanic?
620
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:44,169
Of the thousands of people
that call the hotline,
621
00:28:44,170 --> 00:28:47,049
the show selects
a random 100 numbers
622
00:28:47,050 --> 00:28:49,289
to call back with a question
623
00:28:49,290 --> 00:28:52,729
that's all but impossible
to get exactly right.
624
00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:56,289
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?
625
00:28:56,290 --> 00:28:57,370
Months?
626
00:28:57,410 --> 00:28:58,570
Oh, heck.
627
00:28:58,610 --> 00:29:00,489
What the makers hadn't predicted was
628
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:03,609
that people would do
what they tend to do.
629
00:29:03,610 --> 00:29:06,009
- Hello, Paddy? It's Maggie.
- Talk to each other.
630
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:07,782
The "closest to" question is...
631
00:29:07,783 --> 00:29:12,089
The damn fools are using
the same "closest to" questions
632
00:29:12,090 --> 00:29:15,010
in rotation time and again.
633
00:29:15,050 --> 00:29:17,690
All you need is a network.
634
00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:19,410
Or...
635
00:29:19,450 --> 00:29:21,169
as we call ourselves,
636
00:29:21,170 --> 00:29:23,170
The Syndicate.
637
00:29:25,810 --> 00:29:28,769
So, first trick is,
when you get the call back,
638
00:29:28,770 --> 00:29:31,049
pretend you're not who you are.
639
00:29:31,050 --> 00:29:32,369
Pretend you're not in.
640
00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:34,529
This gives us time to prepare.
641
00:29:34,530 --> 00:29:37,209
Hi. I'm afraid Adrian Pollock
642
00:29:37,210 --> 00:29:39,209
won't be in until later tonight.
643
00:29:39,210 --> 00:29:41,530
Could you call back then?
644
00:29:41,570 --> 00:29:43,237
They always say yes,
645
00:29:43,250 --> 00:29:45,209
- then you call me.
- Hello, Paddy?
646
00:29:45,210 --> 00:29:47,090
And I...
647
00:29:47,130 --> 00:29:48,850
mobilise.
648
00:29:48,890 --> 00:29:52,529
And if you know
of any other potential clients
649
00:29:52,530 --> 00:29:54,889
that live too far away for me,
650
00:29:54,890 --> 00:29:57,969
I can always dispatch
a separate Syndicate member
651
00:29:57,970 --> 00:30:00,329
from one of my regional hubs.
652
00:30:00,330 --> 00:30:05,290
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?
653
00:30:05,330 --> 00:30:08,530
I'm going to say 780.
654
00:30:08,570 --> 00:30:09,849
Once you're in the chair,
655
00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:13,850
there's a final
highly bespoke service
656
00:30:13,890 --> 00:30:15,370
that we offer
657
00:30:15,410 --> 00:30:17,327
on your Phone A Friend.
658
00:30:19,250 --> 00:30:21,010
There's a room..
659
00:30:21,050 --> 00:30:25,490
...in London where we gather.
660
00:30:25,530 --> 00:30:28,450
The finest pub quizzers in the land
661
00:30:28,490 --> 00:30:32,290
secretly, silently, in solidarity.
662
00:30:33,370 --> 00:30:35,009
Now, you give the producers
663
00:30:35,010 --> 00:30:38,729
one of a dozen special numbers
we have around the country,
664
00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:41,930
all diverted here,
665
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:45,450
to this one phone.
666
00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:47,169
I want to phone a friend.
667
00:30:47,170 --> 00:30:50,009
All right. Uh... Who you gonna call?
668
00:30:50,010 --> 00:30:52,010
My cousin Geoffrey.
669
00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:55,009
Geoffrey? It's Chris Tarrant here
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
670
00:30:55,010 --> 00:30:56,969
- Yes?
- I've got your cousin Maggie here.
671
00:30:56,970 --> 00:30:59,289
I hope you're sat quiet and alone.
672
00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:02,449
The next voice you hear
will be Maggie's.
673
00:31:02,450 --> 00:31:05,089
Geoffrey, which chemical element
is named...
674
00:31:05,090 --> 00:31:09,650
All we ask is a modest 25%.
675
00:31:09,690 --> 00:31:11,530
Ah.
676
00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:13,090
Well, I...
677
00:31:13,130 --> 00:31:16,169
I'm grateful for all the hints
and tips and things,
678
00:31:16,170 --> 00:31:19,409
but I'm not sure whether
I would need such...
679
00:31:19,410 --> 00:31:20,569
Well, your services.
680
00:31:20,570 --> 00:31:23,610
I'm sure that when the time comes,
681
00:31:23,650 --> 00:31:26,067
you will make the right call.
682
00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:37,690
And the person who was fastest
was Owen Masters in 4.2 seconds.
683
00:31:51,490 --> 00:31:55,409
Put these vegetables in order of
size from smallest to biggest.
684
00:31:55,410 --> 00:31:58,577
Onion, Brussels sprout,
cabbage, pea.
685
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:04,209
OK, let's see who got it right
in the fastest time.
686
00:32:04,210 --> 00:32:06,810
It's Shelley Price in 3.1...
687
00:32:09,410 --> 00:32:11,810
5.6. Not good enough.
688
00:32:11,850 --> 00:32:12,850
Again.
689
00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:20,894
And the person who was fastest
was Gus Colley in 4.5 seconds.
690
00:32:27,930 --> 00:32:29,730
Yes!
691
00:32:33,490 --> 00:32:34,490
Camera one.
692
00:32:34,530 --> 00:32:37,249
Right. This is Adrian Pollock.
We've seen him before.
693
00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:39,529
It's his fourth time
in the Fastest Finger seat.
694
00:32:39,530 --> 00:32:41,850
Fourth? How? Wait, what?
695
00:32:41,890 --> 00:32:44,729
- Yeah, I know, something's up.
- I thought everyone is chosen random.
696
00:32:44,730 --> 00:32:46,480
And yet, there he is.
697
00:32:47,450 --> 00:32:50,409
Well, a coincidence, then,
let's hope.
698
00:32:50,410 --> 00:32:53,849
Yeah, but is it me, or have they
all started to look a bit...
699
00:32:53,850 --> 00:32:55,170
the same?
700
00:32:55,210 --> 00:32:58,330
All a bit white and well-to-do,
701
00:32:58,370 --> 00:33:00,889
middle classy and Southerny and...
702
00:33:00,890 --> 00:33:03,289
Adrian Pollock from Wiltshire.
703
00:33:03,290 --> 00:33:05,570
...white.
704
00:33:05,610 --> 00:33:08,649
We'll have to tell Chris, cos it'll
be weird if he doesn't mention it.
705
00:33:08,650 --> 00:33:10,890
It's four times.
706
00:33:10,930 --> 00:33:12,730
He won't be happy.
707
00:33:12,770 --> 00:33:15,520
Yeah, well, that makes two of us.
708
00:33:15,970 --> 00:33:21,054
Half of ten, third of nine,
quarter of eight, fifth of five.
709
00:33:21,730 --> 00:33:25,930
Who's the fastest?
Adrian Pollock in 4.3 seconds.
710
00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:30,209
Well, at least he can only
play the actual game once,
711
00:33:30,210 --> 00:33:33,210
so we'll never have to
see him again.
712
00:33:34,850 --> 00:33:36,329
You ready to play for £1 million?
713
00:33:36,330 --> 00:33:38,810
- Yeah.
- Come on, then.
714
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:41,289
So, um... you won't believe this,
715
00:33:41,290 --> 00:33:44,489
but this is actually Adrian's
fourth time in the studio,
716
00:33:44,490 --> 00:33:46,129
but his first time in the chair.
717
00:33:46,130 --> 00:33:47,609
You've been here more than I have.
718
00:33:47,610 --> 00:33:49,049
Well, you know,
719
00:33:49,050 --> 00:33:51,569
some people wanna jump out of planes
and I just...
720
00:33:51,570 --> 00:33:52,969
This is what I want to do.
721
00:33:52,970 --> 00:33:55,804
You're a strange, sad, little man.
722
00:33:56,570 --> 00:33:59,650
For 64,000, in the US and Canada,
723
00:33:59,690 --> 00:34:03,290
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?
724
00:34:03,330 --> 00:34:08,414
You've used your 50-50, you've
just got left May or September.
725
00:34:10,810 --> 00:34:13,209
I will use my Phone A Friend.
726
00:34:13,210 --> 00:34:15,710
All right. Who you gonna call?
727
00:34:17,130 --> 00:34:18,380
Actually, um...
728
00:34:20,050 --> 00:34:21,970
Actually, uh...
729
00:34:22,010 --> 00:34:24,410
I was going to, um...
730
00:34:24,450 --> 00:34:26,609
I'd quite like to call my dad.
731
00:34:26,610 --> 00:34:27,730
Arthur.
732
00:34:29,650 --> 00:34:33,984
We, uh... Well, quizzes are
a family thing, you know.
733
00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:37,689
- I bet it's him.
- Oh, my God.
734
00:34:37,690 --> 00:34:39,609
Must be in the chair. Oh, my God.
735
00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:42,130
You ready?
736
00:34:42,170 --> 00:34:44,729
Is Uncle Adrian
going to be a millionaire?
737
00:34:44,730 --> 00:34:46,690
Hello.
738
00:34:46,730 --> 00:34:50,569
Well, you have to be really clever
for that, so we'll see.
739
00:34:50,570 --> 00:34:52,769
The most extraordinary thing
has happened.
740
00:34:52,770 --> 00:34:54,329
You remember your son, Adrian?
741
00:34:54,330 --> 00:34:57,529
Well, he's finally made it into the
chair, but he does need your help.
742
00:34:57,530 --> 00:34:59,729
Now, the next voice you hear
will be Adrian's.
743
00:34:59,730 --> 00:35:01,889
Adrian, you've got 30 seconds.
744
00:35:01,890 --> 00:35:02,810
Go.
745
00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:05,009
Hi, Dad. In the USA and Canada,
746
00:35:05,010 --> 00:35:07,969
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?
747
00:35:07,970 --> 00:35:10,090
Is it May or September?
748
00:35:10,130 --> 00:35:12,490
Um...
749
00:35:12,530 --> 00:35:13,770
I think...
750
00:35:13,810 --> 00:35:14,850
May.
751
00:35:14,890 --> 00:35:16,249
If I had to guess.
752
00:35:16,250 --> 00:35:17,609
How sure are you?
753
00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:19,330
Ooh...
754
00:35:19,370 --> 00:35:20,530
50%.
755
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:23,410
Thanks, Dad.
756
00:35:24,690 --> 00:35:26,649
When's Labor Day in America?
757
00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:28,370
September, Dad.
758
00:35:28,410 --> 00:35:29,450
Oh.
759
00:35:31,010 --> 00:35:32,210
Oh, no.
760
00:35:33,650 --> 00:35:35,770
Oh, dear.
761
00:35:35,810 --> 00:35:37,010
What a shame.
762
00:35:38,610 --> 00:35:41,570
It's 32 grand, it's great.
763
00:35:41,610 --> 00:35:43,490
Thing is...
764
00:35:43,530 --> 00:35:45,010
The thing is...
765
00:35:45,050 --> 00:35:47,800
it doesn't quite cover the, uh...
766
00:35:47,810 --> 00:35:52,609
debts that the business is running
at the moment and I, uh...
767
00:35:52,610 --> 00:35:54,730
Debts? You...
768
00:35:54,770 --> 00:35:57,249
You don't normally have debts,
why didn't you say?
769
00:35:57,250 --> 00:36:01,690
Yeah, it's just this
dot-com bubble nonsense and...
770
00:36:02,770 --> 00:36:06,049
I really thought I had a chance
in that chair, you know.
771
00:36:06,050 --> 00:36:08,170
I mean, I invested a lot!
772
00:36:09,810 --> 00:36:12,060
What are you talking about?
773
00:36:26,090 --> 00:36:28,730
Holy mother of God.
774
00:36:30,370 --> 00:36:32,370
Adrian, what the...
775
00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:35,570
What is this?
776
00:36:42,330 --> 00:36:44,330
Behold,
777
00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:46,130
the game changer.
778
00:36:49,330 --> 00:36:51,649
I made it. Fastest Finger First.
779
00:36:51,650 --> 00:36:52,689
To practice on.
780
00:36:52,690 --> 00:36:55,050
I don't know what to say.
781
00:36:55,090 --> 00:36:56,730
Is this cheating?
782
00:36:56,770 --> 00:36:59,849
- Certainly feels like cheating.
- No, it's giving an advantage.
783
00:36:59,850 --> 00:37:01,570
To myself.
784
00:37:02,610 --> 00:37:05,250
And now to you, Diana.
785
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:06,729
To carry on where I left off.
786
00:37:06,730 --> 00:37:11,730
- But why would she want anything to do with it?
- Thank you.
787
00:37:17,295 --> 00:37:19,455
Mr Pollock!
788
00:37:20,615 --> 00:37:22,615
Adrian Pollock?
789
00:37:25,415 --> 00:37:27,135
Yes?
790
00:37:27,175 --> 00:37:31,174
When I saw you'd been on
four times, I thought, no.
791
00:37:31,175 --> 00:37:32,854
That's not luck,
that's something else.
792
00:37:32,855 --> 00:37:34,694
Yeah, but how did you find me?
793
00:37:34,695 --> 00:37:36,414
Electoral register, simple enough.
794
00:37:36,415 --> 00:37:39,094
Yeah, see, that...
that's a bit creepy.
795
00:37:39,095 --> 00:37:40,894
Yeah. I have to get on.
796
00:37:40,895 --> 00:37:44,395
I don't know how,
I don't know why, this...
797
00:37:44,815 --> 00:37:48,134
...this impulse took over me,
but it's just in me.
798
00:37:48,135 --> 00:37:49,815
I have to.
799
00:37:49,855 --> 00:37:52,255
Please, please help me.
800
00:37:52,295 --> 00:37:54,134
I heard tell amongst the...
801
00:37:54,135 --> 00:37:56,334
the community
that you built a machine.
802
00:37:56,335 --> 00:37:59,374
Yes. Well, my sister's got it,
she's going on the show too.
803
00:37:59,375 --> 00:38:00,774
- Your sister's going?
- Yeah.
804
00:38:00,775 --> 00:38:02,655
OK. Well...
805
00:38:02,695 --> 00:38:04,734
Could you make another one?
I'd pay you.
806
00:38:04,735 --> 00:38:06,975
People will pay you.
807
00:38:09,815 --> 00:38:11,774
Let me have your number.
808
00:38:11,775 --> 00:38:16,415
So, in the hot seat,
we have Diana Ingram here with...
809
00:38:16,455 --> 00:38:20,695
I do believe I recognise
your guest here tonight,
810
00:38:20,735 --> 00:38:22,254
it's your brother Adrian Pollock.
811
00:38:22,255 --> 00:38:23,534
I thought we got rid of you.
812
00:38:23,535 --> 00:38:25,295
But here you are.
813
00:38:25,335 --> 00:38:28,855
Again. Back in the studio
for a fifth time.
814
00:38:28,895 --> 00:38:32,415
Still think it's a coincidence?
815
00:38:32,455 --> 00:38:34,175
Call the network.
816
00:38:34,215 --> 00:38:35,255
Now.
817
00:38:35,295 --> 00:38:38,414
Husband Charles, Major Charles,
couldn't be here.
818
00:38:38,415 --> 00:38:39,655
He's at work.
819
00:38:39,695 --> 00:38:42,854
Charles and Diana, eh?
Why does that sound familiar?
820
00:38:42,855 --> 00:38:47,174
Like a fairy tale. Well, started as
a fairy tale, didn't end as one.
821
00:38:47,175 --> 00:38:49,454
Yeah, if you could
fit us in tomorrow.
822
00:38:49,455 --> 00:38:51,375
We just...
823
00:38:51,415 --> 00:38:55,082
We do really think
we may have a problem now.
824
00:38:56,975 --> 00:39:00,455
For £64,000...
825
00:39:00,495 --> 00:39:05,935
Who wrote the nonsense poem
The Hunting Of The Snark?
826
00:39:05,975 --> 00:39:07,575
GK Chesterton,
827
00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:08,975
Hilaire Belloc,
828
00:39:09,015 --> 00:39:11,135
Edward Lear,
829
00:39:11,175 --> 00:39:13,575
Lewis Carroll?
830
00:39:13,615 --> 00:39:17,414
Remember, you don't have to play,
you've got £32,000 and that's safe,
831
00:39:17,415 --> 00:39:20,249
whatever, and you do have a 50-50.
832
00:39:23,895 --> 00:39:26,294
Yeah, I'm going to play.
Edward Lear, final answer.
833
00:39:26,295 --> 00:39:28,575
- Final answer?
- Yes.
834
00:39:28,615 --> 00:39:30,815
You had £32,000,
835
00:39:30,855 --> 00:39:33,105
you kept back one lifeline.
836
00:39:33,135 --> 00:39:36,385
Desperately wanted
to beat your brother.
837
00:39:38,295 --> 00:39:41,254
You've stayed at exactly
the same place.
838
00:39:41,255 --> 00:39:43,454
Oh, it was Lewis Carroll. I'm sorry.
839
00:39:43,455 --> 00:39:48,815
But you do go away
with a cheque for £32,000.
840
00:39:48,855 --> 00:39:51,455
Not a bad day's work.
841
00:39:51,495 --> 00:39:54,295
A lot of money. That's £32,000.
842
00:39:54,335 --> 00:39:56,974
I mean, that's gonna be SO useful.
843
00:39:56,975 --> 00:39:59,174
I mean, we could...
Gosh, we could...
844
00:39:59,175 --> 00:40:01,734
I'm going to give Adrian some of it,
845
00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:03,654
just to help with the business,
you know.
846
00:40:03,655 --> 00:40:05,935
Quite a bit of it.
847
00:40:05,975 --> 00:40:08,174
- 14 grand of it, actually.
- Right.
848
00:40:08,175 --> 00:40:11,675
- Sorry.
- Are you asking me or telling me?
849
00:40:12,159 --> 00:40:13,572
Right.
850
00:40:13,612 --> 00:40:15,134
Right. All right, yeah. Sure.
851
00:40:15,135 --> 00:40:16,814
Yeah, give him 14 grand.
852
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:19,574
Hell, give him all of it. Why don't
you give him one of the children?
853
00:40:19,575 --> 00:40:21,334
- Give him one of the girls.
- What's going on?
854
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:24,214
Congratulations, darling.
We're giving you to Uncle Adrian.
855
00:40:24,215 --> 00:40:26,632
- Go and pack your bags.
- OK.
856
00:40:27,935 --> 00:40:30,534
What was the line? "There's always
three of us in this marriage."
857
00:40:30,535 --> 00:40:32,974
That's not fair. He's my brother,
what else am I meant to do?
858
00:40:32,975 --> 00:40:34,255
Pff...
859
00:40:34,295 --> 00:40:35,854
I suppose I should tell you
860
00:40:35,855 --> 00:40:38,734
we're thinking of writing a book
about the show.
861
00:40:38,735 --> 00:40:40,014
Just a little simple how-to
862
00:40:40,015 --> 00:40:42,214
with all the hints and tips
and things we've learned,
863
00:40:42,215 --> 00:40:44,414
so we can pass them on
to new contestants.
864
00:40:44,415 --> 00:40:47,654
- Just all that cheating stuff?
- It isn't cheating.
865
00:40:47,655 --> 00:40:49,214
Yes, but is it cheating?
866
00:40:49,215 --> 00:40:53,934
I've asked Ruth Settle to join us,
she's our head of PR at Celador.
867
00:40:53,935 --> 00:40:57,734
This is Nicola Howson, who's our
head of press, to do likewise,
868
00:40:57,735 --> 00:41:00,974
- because we can all agree that this is a flipping nightmare.
- I'll say.
869
00:41:00,975 --> 00:41:03,614
I saw it for the first time
in a while last night.
870
00:41:03,615 --> 00:41:06,375
No offence. And OK, I'll say it.
871
00:41:06,415 --> 00:41:07,894
It was effing boring.
872
00:41:07,895 --> 00:41:09,415
No offence.
873
00:41:09,455 --> 00:41:11,614
The contestants are all...
874
00:41:11,615 --> 00:41:12,854
They all look and sound...
875
00:41:12,855 --> 00:41:15,294
Yeah, well, they all talk
to one another as well.
876
00:41:15,295 --> 00:41:18,654
It's like they know each other
and they're somehow...
877
00:41:18,655 --> 00:41:20,974
- helping each other.
- Is that against the rules?
878
00:41:20,975 --> 00:41:22,854
It's against
the spirit of the rules.
879
00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:25,094
They're getting on
and they're getting bolder.
880
00:41:25,095 --> 00:41:29,512
Now, we think it almost feels
like something's coming.
881
00:41:29,615 --> 00:41:31,494
We could start to cast it.
882
00:41:31,495 --> 00:41:34,174
Most shows cast the contestants
based on interviews and...
883
00:41:34,175 --> 00:41:37,934
No, we swore that we'd never do
that, we'd keep it democratic...
884
00:41:37,935 --> 00:41:39,574
You're saying
it's already been hacked,
885
00:41:39,575 --> 00:41:42,254
that the network's most important
asset is under attack.
886
00:41:42,255 --> 00:41:43,574
Well, this stops now.
887
00:41:43,575 --> 00:41:45,894
Find out who's doing it,
how they're doing it,
888
00:41:45,895 --> 00:41:48,979
and please,
stop them bloody doing it!
889
00:41:49,015 --> 00:41:50,855
I have to go.
890
00:41:50,895 --> 00:41:53,254
Disappear. Run away for a bit.
Well...
891
00:41:53,255 --> 00:41:55,655
a while. I'm sorry.
892
00:41:55,695 --> 00:41:57,934
Oh, my God, no. Adrian, don't...
893
00:41:57,935 --> 00:42:00,134
I just need to come up
with a way to...
894
00:42:00,135 --> 00:42:01,414
to pay everyone back.
895
00:42:01,415 --> 00:42:03,832
Well, what about my 14 grand?
896
00:42:05,095 --> 00:42:06,734
I don't bloody believe it.
897
00:42:06,735 --> 00:42:09,894
OK. OK. Now, apart from us,
who do you owe money to?
898
00:42:09,895 --> 00:42:11,175
Uh...
899
00:42:11,215 --> 00:42:14,174
It's people like Jill and Michael
from the Rotary Club.
900
00:42:14,175 --> 00:42:16,374
- There's John.
- John?! The butcher?
901
00:42:16,375 --> 00:42:19,334
Oh, for heaven's sake, I thought
you meant gangsters, Adrian,
902
00:42:19,335 --> 00:42:20,694
people who'd break your thumbs,
903
00:42:20,695 --> 00:42:23,294
not the butcher, the baker
and the candlestick...
904
00:42:23,295 --> 00:42:24,414
Just send them a text!
905
00:42:24,415 --> 00:42:26,094
Well, it's not your reputation,
is it?!
906
00:42:26,095 --> 00:42:29,094
What about your responsibilities?
Your family?
907
00:42:29,095 --> 00:42:31,694
They'll understand,
I'll call them from...
908
00:42:31,695 --> 00:42:34,815
wherever I am. I'll explain.
909
00:42:34,855 --> 00:42:36,574
Come on, Adrian,
it's really bad form.
910
00:42:36,575 --> 00:42:39,654
Here's some of the people from
the community I've been talking to.
911
00:42:39,655 --> 00:42:40,774
They're yours now.
912
00:42:40,775 --> 00:42:42,055
Oh, God.
913
00:42:42,095 --> 00:42:43,215
I can't...
914
00:42:43,255 --> 00:42:44,614
What about our book?
915
00:42:44,615 --> 00:42:48,334
Well, then, you finish it, Diana!
You don't need me, you never have.
916
00:42:48,335 --> 00:42:51,085
You've always been the strongest.
917
00:42:51,655 --> 00:42:53,455
I'm sorry.
918
00:43:00,695 --> 00:43:02,815
It'll be OK.
919
00:43:02,855 --> 00:43:04,815
He'll be OK.
920
00:43:08,735 --> 00:43:10,855
You must go on.
921
00:43:10,895 --> 00:43:12,895
Onto the show.
922
00:43:12,935 --> 00:43:15,775
I've been on, Adrian has, it's...
923
00:43:15,815 --> 00:43:17,095
it's your turn.
924
00:43:20,335 --> 00:43:22,215
It's my turn, is it?
925
00:43:22,255 --> 00:43:23,534
To join the family business.
926
00:43:23,535 --> 00:43:25,975
I'd warned you, I...
927
00:43:26,015 --> 00:43:28,255
These mad schemes!
928
00:43:28,295 --> 00:43:29,694
I don't even like quizzes.
929
00:43:29,695 --> 00:43:33,294
The way you've been moping about,
weeks after your turn came and went,
930
00:43:33,295 --> 00:43:35,254
do you know how dispiriting
that is, Diana,
931
00:43:35,255 --> 00:43:38,334
to know that the only happiness
you get is from a bloody game show?
932
00:43:38,335 --> 00:43:40,534
That isn't fair, that is...
It just isn't true.
933
00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:41,774
It couldn't be further...
934
00:43:41,775 --> 00:43:44,534
- And everyone has hobbies, Charles.
- Pfft!
935
00:43:44,535 --> 00:43:46,534
And I didn't want to bring this up,
936
00:43:46,535 --> 00:43:47,615
but...
937
00:43:47,655 --> 00:43:49,534
- Let the machine get it.
- Well, we have,
938
00:43:49,535 --> 00:43:51,895
as a family, rather...
939
00:43:51,935 --> 00:43:54,454
followed you around
wherever you went.
940
00:43:54,455 --> 00:43:56,374
Happily, I might add, willingly.
941
00:43:56,375 --> 00:43:59,535
But now we, now I need you.
942
00:43:59,575 --> 00:44:02,894
...Charles Ingram. I'm calling you
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
943
00:44:02,895 --> 00:44:04,414
We're delighted to let you know
944
00:44:04,415 --> 00:44:06,374
that you've been selected
by our computer
945
00:44:06,375 --> 00:44:09,614
to take part in our qualifying
round of "closest to" questions.
946
00:44:09,615 --> 00:44:15,055
Give us a call back
on 09098790555.
947
00:44:18,295 --> 00:44:22,962
I may have already started calling
and leaving your name.
948
00:44:29,535 --> 00:44:33,054
What happens next is easy to dismiss
as simply exciting television.
949
00:44:33,055 --> 00:44:34,255
High drama.
950
00:44:34,295 --> 00:44:37,574
A bit of harmless fun
that got out of hand.
951
00:44:37,575 --> 00:44:40,825
But ignore the lights,
ignore the sound.
952
00:44:41,135 --> 00:44:43,975
Unbelievable!
953
00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:45,935
This is theft.
954
00:44:45,975 --> 00:44:47,415
Plain and simple.
955
00:44:47,455 --> 00:44:51,655
An attempt to steal £1 million.
956
00:44:51,695 --> 00:44:55,214
We have all the evidence
and all of the testimonies.
957
00:44:55,215 --> 00:44:57,414
But as we go through
quite how they did it,
958
00:44:57,415 --> 00:44:59,535
beat by impossible beat,
959
00:44:59,575 --> 00:45:01,414
oh, you'll be shocked, yes,
960
00:45:01,415 --> 00:45:04,249
perhaps even impressed a little...
961
00:45:04,775 --> 00:45:07,254
...but you will be left in no doubt
962
00:45:07,255 --> 00:45:09,414
that they are guilty of a crime.
963
00:45:09,415 --> 00:45:12,735
A crime that carries with it
964
00:45:12,775 --> 00:45:15,455
time in prison.
965
00:45:15,495 --> 00:45:17,495
All right?
966
00:45:19,055 --> 00:45:21,055
All right?
967
00:45:29,255 --> 00:45:31,815
Right, Major Charles Ingram,
968
00:45:31,855 --> 00:45:33,855
are you ready to play...
968
00:45:34,305 --> 00:45:40,235
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