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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:02,670 Anna-Kat: That's mine! Taylor: It's just juice, 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:03,920 chill out! Mom! 3 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,120 Taylor, undo whatever you just did. 4 00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:11,290 Ewww. I can still see the drippy from where she took a sip. 5 00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:12,830 [ Groans ] 6 00:00:12,830 --> 00:00:14,330 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 7 00:00:14,330 --> 00:00:17,670 ♪♪ 8 00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:19,290 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 9 00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:22,040 Answer your phone. It's just a spam call. 10 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,000 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ This ringtone is the best decision that I ever made. 11 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,460 You are never allowed to do that again. Someone could see. 12 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,670 We're in the kitchen! Who is going to see? 13 00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:32,830 God, Santa, satellites, aliens, drones, Alexa -- 14 00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:35,120 Don't be ashamed 'cause your mom's got mad moves. 15 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,830 I should jot this down for my future therapist. 16 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,830 This feels like a significant moment. 17 00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:42,210 [ Dialing, ringing ] 18 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,670 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 19 00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:47,000 ♪♪ 20 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,330 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 21 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:51,170 ♪♪ 22 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,290 I can't. Taylor, let's go. 23 00:00:53,290 --> 00:00:54,830 Drop me off at a fire station. 24 00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:57,330 Hopefully a nice "This Is Us" family will pick me up. 25 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,210 [ Door closes ] [ Dialing ] 26 00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:05,580 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 27 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:06,580 ♪♪ 28 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000 Bye, Dad. Oliver, come here. 29 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,830 I want to show you a new coin I got for my collection. 30 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,170 Ugh. I should have just pretended like I didn't see you. 31 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,960 The Historical Guild gave it to me when they named me 32 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,500 General Beats for tomorrow's reenactment. 33 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,120 Yeah, coins are super neat. 34 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,080 Hmm. That came off a little less sarcastic than I wanted. 35 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,420 Let me do that again. 36 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,710 Yeah, coins are suuuuuper neat. 37 00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:36,830 There we go. Just because I'm interested in something 38 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,290 doesn't mean you should make fun of it. 39 00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:39,670 It's not so much making fun 40 00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:42,670 as it is offering constructive criticism in a hurtful manner. 41 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:43,750 Thanks for the opportunity. 42 00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:49,500 ♪♪ 43 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,830 Mom, where are you?! Mom!! 44 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:54,540 You are only allowed to scream like that if you are bleeding 45 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:56,000 or the ice-cream truck is on our street. 46 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000 So, which is it? 47 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,210 Taylor is a thief! 48 00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,500 What are you talking about? 49 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,880 This! This crop-top shirt she's wearing 50 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,500 is actually my regularly cropped shirt! 51 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,380 I let you leave the house in that? 52 00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:08,880 No, I wore a sweatshirt over it. 53 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,250 I didn't want you to be upset so early in the morning. 54 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,420 You're welcome. Ground her right now! 55 00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:15,080 Chill, Anna-Kat. We're sisters. 56 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,250 Sisters share clothes. 57 00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,920 We do not "share clothes." 58 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,250 You steal my clothes and stretch them out 59 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,750 with things I don't have yet. 60 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,040 [ Scoffs ] 61 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,040 You're letting her just get away?! 62 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,420 I demand justice! 63 00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,040 Just because Taylor is bigger than you 64 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,790 doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself. 65 00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:33,670 But can't you just -- 66 00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:35,620 No! You've got to stop seeing yourself 67 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,920 as a powerless little girl. 68 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,880 You are a strong, independent young woman 69 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,670 who is fully capable of fighting her own battles. 70 00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:42,670 You're right. 71 00:02:42,670 --> 00:02:44,210 Like Charlize Theron in that movie 72 00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:45,830 you definitely should not have shown me. 73 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,670 "Monster." 74 00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,330 I thought it was a monster movie. 75 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,790 When I was bestowed the honor of portraying General Beats 76 00:02:52,790 --> 00:02:54,750 in the Battle of Westport, I knew I wanted only 77 00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,420 the bravest to join me on the front line, 78 00:02:57,420 --> 00:03:00,000 and I'm thrilled you decided to fight alongside me. 79 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,080 No problem. 80 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,290 With the extra credit that I'm getting 81 00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:04,580 for participating, my guidance counselor says 82 00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:08,170 graduation will be "not an impossibility." 83 00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:09,750 Franklin: I'm not getting extra credit for this. 84 00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:11,420 Dr. Ellie loves when I go on field trips 85 00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:13,290 'cause apparently I can be a bit much. 86 00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:16,170 Let's get things started before I have any regrets. 87 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:19,250 Lonnie, you will be Sergeant Gus Johnson, 88 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,670 General Beats's right-hand man 89 00:03:20,670 --> 00:03:23,000 and an ancestor to a long line of famous Johnsons. 90 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,330 Andrew Johnson was among them. 91 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,960 [ Laughs ] 92 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,120 You said famous Johnson. 93 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,540 I know you don't take anything seriously, 94 00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,170 but just so we're clear, 95 00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:33,000 this reenactment is all based on historical events, 96 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,920 so there will be no pranks of any kind. 97 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,000 I would never. 98 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,250 Well, I promise! 99 00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:40,330 The battlefield will be an NPZB. 100 00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,540 No Prank Zone, Bro. 101 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,420 No pranks necessary. 102 00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,000 I'm secretly filming this for another episode 103 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,710 of "Professor Badonkadonk." NPZBPYP. 104 00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:54,880 No Prank Zone, Bro. Psych! Yes, Pranks! Ha! 105 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,670 Trip, Franklin, you will be playing the Hudson brothers, 106 00:03:57,670 --> 00:04:00,000 the two young artillery officers who led the troops 107 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,620 after General Beats was hanged by the Redcoats. 108 00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,920 Wait, you die? Yes, but not before delivering my historic last words -- 109 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,080 "May my death serve as an inspiration 110 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,540 to the sons and daughters of the revolution. 111 00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:11,830 Now and forever more." 112 00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,830 Are you sure you want to go through with this, Mr. A? 113 00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:17,330 It's just pretend, Trip. I'm not actually going to die. 114 00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:19,330 It's important you remember that. 115 00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:20,580 Okay. Good. 116 00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,500 This is great. You and I are brothers. 117 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,080 My mom tried to get me a brother one time, 118 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,830 but security at the mall was very tight. 119 00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:29,000 [ Chuckles ] 120 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,880 Alright, men. Tomorrow, we fight. 121 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,120 Tonight, we feast! 122 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,830 Dairy Queen? Sure. 123 00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,830 So, Trip, what's your favorite color? 124 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,000 What's your shoe size? 125 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,920 Do you think there's regret in the afterlife? 126 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,960 Uh... Take your time. 127 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,500 I know the color one's hard. 128 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,330 Hey, amigos. 129 00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,500 What's going on? 130 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,880 Right now, not much, but in about 15 minutes, 131 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,500 I'mma see if I can fit five burgers in my mouth at once. 132 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,750 Spoiler -- I can. [ Chuckles ] 133 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,000 I'm taking my troop out for a final meal before battle. 134 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,830 Your troop? Yeah. I invited Lonnie, 135 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,210 Trip, and Franklin to do the reenactment. 136 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:01,080 Don't worry. You're off the hook. 137 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,420 I'm not asking you to join. 138 00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:04,670 Cool. Have fun at your little dress-up show. 139 00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:07,250 It's a big dress-up show, and you know it. 140 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,920 You see what he's trying to do, right? 141 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,170 Feed a large group on a budget? 142 00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,670 No. He thinks by inviting them instead of me, 143 00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:16,790 I'm gonna beg to be in his little brigade. 144 00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:18,330 But he's got another thing coming. 145 00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,540 I'm gonna teach him a lesson about teaching lessons. 146 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,790 Hey, do your evil smile, for old times' sake. 147 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,790 [ Ominous chord plays ] 148 00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,170 There's my guy. 149 00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:28,500 ♪♪ 150 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,170 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! 151 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:33,250 Bleeding or ice-cream truck -- which is it? 152 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,750 This was my favorite shirt, and it's been cut in half! 153 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,330 [ Sighs ] Anna-Kat! 154 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,580 'Sup? Did you do this to my shirt?! 155 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:41,790 I sure did. 156 00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,670 Since you had to wear my shirt as a crop top, 157 00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:45,880 I decided to just give you one of your own. 158 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,500 And I will do so every time you wear one of my shirts. 159 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:51,330 Got it? I'm never touching your clothes again, you little psycho! 160 00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:53,500 Mom! 161 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,880 Anna-Kat, I want to talk to you in the hall. 162 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,000 Now. 163 00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,790 Anna-Kat, you can never do that again! 164 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,080 [ Whispering ] That was brilliant. 165 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,080 [ Normal voice ] Destroying property is not okay! 166 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,250 [ Whispering ] Never prouder. 167 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,500 [ Normal voice ] You are in huge trouble! 168 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,920 [ Whispering ] Like, I could cry right now. 169 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,880 [ Laughs ] 170 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:18,580 ♪♪ 171 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:23,080 Today we fight not only for our independence, 172 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,080 but also for Mother Earth! 173 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,960 And so, on this Earth Day, we honor her 174 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,290 by painting the fields red with the blood of our enemies! 175 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,080 [ Cheering ] 176 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,880 But, seriously, the recycle bins are placed throughout, 177 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,540 so let's leave the park cleaner than we found it. 178 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:37,330 -Yeah! -Yeah. 179 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,380 -You got it. -Cool. 180 00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:41,000 That includes fingernail clippings, Dane. 181 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,420 I beat a meth addiction, Ross. 182 00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:45,170 I'm sorry if I have a little nervous energy. 183 00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:47,540 Look not upon these men with friendly eye, 184 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,580 for soon they shall be foe. 185 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,500 Bad guys. Oh. 186 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,830 Oliver? 187 00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:58,170 He joined the British. 188 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:02,290 I can't believe it. 189 00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,830 My son has become my enemy. 190 00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:06,500 Ooh. 191 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,960 Can you say that again a little louder 192 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,290 with more feeling, towards that bush? 193 00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,500 Thanks. Uh... 194 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,540 ♪♪ 195 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,460 ♪♪ 196 00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:22,000 I can't believe Oliver joined the Redcoats. 197 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,500 It's the ultimate betrayal. 198 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,540 Nah. You want to know what the ultimate betrayal is? 199 00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:28,330 Domestic-animal abandonment. 200 00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:33,080 Shout-out to our sponsors, Pet Pals of America. 201 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,210 Who's saving who? 202 00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:36,710 You got to face your son. 203 00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:37,880 You're right. 204 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,420 Beats was a man who took action. 205 00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:41,040 It's time Greg Otto did the same. 206 00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,330 Badonkadonk incoming. Do not miss this! 207 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,670 Zoom in for the tears, then rack it back for dat ass! 208 00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:53,830 Okay. According to Mr. Otto, the Hudson brothers 209 00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,750 just sit in this tent and guard the cannonballs for battle. 210 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,500 But they're just spray-painted softballs 211 00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,210 and we're pretending they're cannonballs, right? 212 00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:02,330 If you were my age, we'd be the kings of my special-ed class. 213 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,210 So, Brother Hudson, are you afraid of heights? 214 00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:07,580 No. 215 00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:09,500 Have you ever been to a roller-skating party? 216 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,500 Yep. 217 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:12,710 When/how do you feel most loved? 218 00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:14,330 Can we have some quiet time, please? 219 00:08:14,330 --> 00:08:15,670 Okay. 220 00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,210 How are you enjoying your quiet time? 221 00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:20,540 [ Groans ] 222 00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:26,000 ♪♪ 223 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,250 What are you doing here? 224 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:29,000 Oh, I thought the reenactment sounded fun, 225 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,000 so I recruited Cooper and here we are. 226 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,830 And I love the uniform. 227 00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:35,290 Could it use a few Tom Ford touches? Sure. 228 00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:37,290 There's no way you thought this sounded fun, Oliver. 229 00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:38,330 Oh, you wouldn't know what I thought 230 00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:39,620 because you didn't invite me. 231 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,830 You invited Trip, Franklin, and Lonnie. 232 00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:44,540 I invited them because they don't mock me like you do. 233 00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:45,750 Whenever I share an interest, 234 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,170 I can count on you to make fun of it. 235 00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:49,250 And this reenactment is a big deal for me, 236 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:52,330 so why would I want to be around you for it? 237 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,500 You don't have to be! I'm a Redcoat! 238 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,250 And this time, we're gonna win! 239 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:58,040 That's not how it works, man. 240 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,380 Just for that, I'm canceling the Boston Tea Party. 241 00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:03,210 It already happened. 242 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:06,790 These guys are so lame. 243 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:08,620 Principal Ablin: I hate to call you in during my lunch hour. 244 00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:10,460 I don't mind. I do. 245 00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:12,330 I called you down here because Anna-Kat 246 00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:14,000 has been very disruptive in class 247 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,880 and is refusing to listen to authority. 248 00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:21,040 Anna-Kat, we don't eat our snacks for another hour. 249 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,540 Sucks for you guys. 250 00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,830 Have you tried talking to her? Of course. 251 00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,830 We even brought up the prospect of silent lunch, 252 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,460 but she said she's a powerful woman 253 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:30,920 who will not let her voice be stifled. 254 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,580 Kind of hard to argue with that, seeing as I'm a cisgender 255 00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:35,670 straight man marinating in white privilege. 256 00:09:35,670 --> 00:09:37,380 The district had me take an online seminar, 257 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,620 so I'm both woke and duly chastened. 258 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,170 I know what's going on. 259 00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:43,540 I taught Anna-Kat a lesson about standing up for herself, 260 00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,790 and it may have gotten a little out of hand. 261 00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:47,500 I'll take care of it. Thanks. 262 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,710 By the way, I like what you've done with your hair, 263 00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:51,170 not that I was looking at your hair. 264 00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,500 I'm going to go self-report. 265 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,830 We cool? No, we not cool. 266 00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:03,920 Look, I'm proud of you for standing up 267 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,500 for what you want, but you have to obey the rules. 268 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,380 Nah. I'm done letting people walk all over me. 269 00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:09,670 Well, I'm your mother, 270 00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:11,460 and you have to listen to what I say. 271 00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:12,620 Just because you're bigger than me 272 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:14,330 doesn't mean I can't stand up to you. 273 00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,670 [ Chuckles ] No, no, no. 274 00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:18,500 We're not playing that game. 275 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:23,710 Do as I say or no more bedtime tuck-ins. 276 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,330 That's fine. I'll put myself to bed. 277 00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,710 Okay. You're grounded. 278 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,000 Watch me as I clear my social calendar. 279 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,790 Beep, boop, beep! All done. 280 00:10:32,790 --> 00:10:34,040 See you at home. 281 00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:37,170 No more Taco Tuesday! 282 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,120 Anna-Kat: Bored with it! [ Gasps ] 283 00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:41,670 Man: Alright, men. 284 00:10:41,670 --> 00:10:44,170 Ready? 285 00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:45,460 Ready? 286 00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:48,380 Fire! Together: Bang! 287 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,330 Reload! 288 00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:51,880 You know, it's one thing, Oliver making fun of me. 289 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,000 I can handle being made fun of. 290 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,670 Yeah. I mean, look at you. Bang! 291 00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:55,960 You're wearing pantyhose and a blouse. 292 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,750 Exactly. Fire! 293 00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:58,830 Bang! 294 00:10:58,830 --> 00:11:00,120 Reload! 295 00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:03,460 Bang! But showing up here to -- to what? 296 00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:05,620 To spite me, to mock me in front of my soldiers? 297 00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:06,880 It's just disrespectful. 298 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,830 General, your tent has been hit. Bang! 299 00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,710 What?! All my battle plans were in there! 300 00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:13,290 And the pocket-sized painting of my hot colonial wife. 301 00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,920 And my leprechaun. Together: Bang! 302 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,380 Me having a leprechaun is just as likely 303 00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:17,460 as you having a hot wife. 304 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,250 Tell your three cats I say hi. 305 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:20,880 Oh, the three cats you beg 306 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,460 to babysit every time I go out of town? 307 00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:25,000 Man: Hold the line! 308 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,330 Get ahold of yourselves. 309 00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:28,540 This war is tearing us apart. 310 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:29,580 Fire! 311 00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:31,500 Together: Bang! Hold the line, men! 312 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:34,250 Look alive, team! The Caboose is loose! 313 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:39,040 ♪♪ 314 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,710 Dear God. The devastation. 315 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,120 I'd like to share this moment with you, 316 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,670 but I have no idea what this means. 317 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:47,620 The Redcoats shot a cannon, blew up the tent. 318 00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:49,880 Everything's destroyed. Got it. 319 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,620 Dear God. The devastation. 320 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:57,080 ♪♪ 321 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,500 Oliver. 322 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,830 Historically, this never happened. 323 00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,750 He's going out of his way to ruin my day. 324 00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:03,830 I can't believe all our provisions are gone. 325 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,290 Yo, time-out. 326 00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,920 I'm just gonna sneak in, I'mma snag my Pop-Tarts. 327 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,080 There are no time-outs. 328 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,460 We're in the middle of a battle, soldier. 329 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:10,540 This is real! 330 00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:12,120 Man: Should be fine. 331 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,580 Do you think they can save it?! 332 00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:15,830 [ Chuckles ] 333 00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:17,250 That was unfortunate timing. 334 00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:20,040 ♪♪ 335 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,880 And who was your 3rd-grade teacher? 336 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,830 Mr. Barney. And who was your 4th-grade teacher? 337 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,170 Mrs. Anderson. 338 00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:27,250 And what would you describe as your lowest moment? 339 00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:29,380 This! This right now! 340 00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,120 Here! Please kill me with this cannonball 341 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,920 so I don't have to hear one more question! 342 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,210 I had no idea that's how you felt. 343 00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:37,120 Because that's the one question you never asked me. 344 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,170 Well, if that's the case, you shouldn't have to die. 345 00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:40,170 I will. 346 00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:42,040 I wish mall security would've stopped you 347 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,380 from being my brother, too. 348 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,670 Aw, Franklin. Come on. I didn't mean it! 349 00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:50,790 I'll answer your questions! 350 00:12:50,790 --> 00:12:54,710 My favorite color is... 351 00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:55,790 It is a hard question, 352 00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,920 but the answer is it depends on my mood! 353 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,250 Franklin! 354 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:04,000 ♪♪ 355 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,460 I'm completely powerless. 356 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,710 I have no more leverage over Anna-Kat. 357 00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:09,500 Why don't you try that healing stone I gave you? 358 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,170 It can be very calming. 359 00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:13,040 Did you charge it in the last full moon like I told you? 360 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,000 If you charge it by throwing it out the car window, 361 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,330 then, yes, it's fully charged. 362 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,170 I don't know what else to do with her. 363 00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:20,670 I've pulled out all the stops. 364 00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:22,080 Have you really pulled out all of them -- 365 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,750 guilt, threats, denying her basic necessities? 366 00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:25,880 Of course! 367 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,170 Well, what about public shaming -- 368 00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:29,540 watching the embarrassment wash over their faces 369 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:31,330 as they blink back tears? 370 00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:32,420 So fun. 371 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,960 Shaming. How could I forget that? 372 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,250 So simple but so effective. 373 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,830 I used it on Taylor and Oliver, 374 00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:41,080 but the third kid always falls through the cracks. 375 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,500 It's why Anna-Kat still doesn't know how to ride a bike. 376 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,960 She doesn't know how to ride a bike? 377 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,710 [ Chuckles ] That's not falling through the cracks, 378 00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:48,330 that's you being a -- 379 00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:50,380 So loving that she fell through the cracks. 380 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:53,920 ♪♪ 381 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,790 How are you feeling, General? 382 00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:57,790 I'd like to think I'm feeling quite a bit like Beats felt -- 383 00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,040 he, a British national, 384 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,670 fighting for the Americans against his brethren, 385 00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,170 me, a father, fighting against my own son. 386 00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:04,580 Lieutenant Maddox! 387 00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:07,790 [ Shivering ] I f-feel cold. A-Are you there? 388 00:14:07,790 --> 00:14:10,670 I'm here. I'm here. Don't you leave me, damn it! 389 00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:14,250 [ Normal voice ] Really? The one thing I asked you not to do. 390 00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:15,380 Stay calm, Lieutenant. 391 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:16,580 Let's get you to the medical tent. 392 00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:18,620 Come on. [ Grunts ] 393 00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:25,960 ♪♪ 394 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,250 Can you believe my dad said he didn't want me around? 395 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,670 Are you actually asking me? 396 00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:32,080 'Cause if you're asking me, I'm going to tell you the truth. 397 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,500 I'm asking. Then, yes, I can believe he said that. 398 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,960 You can be a complete and total jerk to him sometimes. 399 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,170 Hey! Do you have any idea how lucky you are? 400 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,960 My dad's somewhere on the Aegean Sea right now. 401 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,380 That's all he told me. 402 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:47,580 It's like...can't a guy get some coordinates or something? 403 00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:50,880 And all your dad wants to do is share his interests with you, 404 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,120 but you're too busy crapping all over him to notice. 405 00:14:55,330 --> 00:14:56,960 Where you going? 406 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,500 I'm switching sides. 407 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,500 Your dad's a general worth fighting for. 408 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,170 ♪♪ 409 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,330 Yellow fever. 410 00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:07,540 I hate it here. 411 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,710 Franklin! 412 00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:15,500 Franklin, where are you?! 413 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,000 Over here. 414 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,170 Franklin! Oh, God, you've been shot. 415 00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:20,330 This is all my fault. 416 00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:24,170 Oh, no. Gangrene's setting in. 417 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,500 I have to get you out of here. Too late. 418 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,620 The British are coming. 419 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,330 [ Footsteps approaching ] 420 00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,210 Not my brother! 421 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:33,210 Together: Bang! 422 00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:37,960 ♪♪ 423 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,380 You die. 424 00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:43,170 You saved my life. 425 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:45,170 This kind of bravery is exactly why I chose you 426 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:46,460 for my "Hero" paper. 427 00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:49,920 Wait. Are you really writing your paper on me? 428 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,540 Yeah. That's why I had to ask you so many questions. 429 00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:54,000 But why me? Easy. 430 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,540 We read at the same level, we have the same taste in girls, 431 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,380 and you're the nicest person I know. 432 00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,880 Isn't that what being a hero's all about? 433 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,000 I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. 434 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,790 That was definitely not heroic. 435 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,750 No, but we're the Hudson brothers. 436 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,790 We're all we got. 437 00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:10,210 Mom died during childbirth, 438 00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:12,380 and Dad ran off with a fur trapper. 439 00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,750 I made up a backstory. 440 00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:15,330 [ Chuckles ] 441 00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:18,080 Fake brother or not, I'm here for you. 442 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,460 Thanks. So, as my big brother, can you take me to the medic? 443 00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:24,040 Yeah. Let's get that gunshot wound cleaned up. 444 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,000 No, the real medic. I'm allergic to sticker glue. 445 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,880 ♪♪ 446 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,540 [ DJ Snake & Lil Jon's "Turn Down for What" plays ] 447 00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:34,000 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 448 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,420 ♪♪ 449 00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,000 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 450 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,830 ♪♪ 451 00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:42,920 What are you doing?! ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ 452 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,540 Getting into the groove. 453 00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:46,620 And when that bell rings and this hallway fills up with kids... 454 00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:50,000 ♪ Turn down for what? ♪ ...I will be fully turning down for what. 455 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,120 Please! I'm begging you, do not dance! 456 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,000 [ Music stops ] 457 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,920 I won't as long as you realize being a powerful young woman 458 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,330 means speaking up when you've been wronged. 459 00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:05,210 It doesn't mean doing whatever you want whenever you want. 460 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:07,330 Got it? Got it. I'll obey the rules. 461 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,750 Just put the dish towel away. 462 00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,500 Don't test me, because one misstep 463 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,830 and I'll be cutting a rug at school, graduation, 464 00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,330 your work Christmas party. 465 00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:17,290 I have this power... forever. 466 00:17:17,290 --> 00:17:18,670 I'll behave. I promise. 467 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:21,620 Good! Now you get back in class and learn how to add. 468 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,210 I'm in 5th grade. We're multiplying fractions. 469 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,960 We're adding. We're adding. 470 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,920 ♪♪ 471 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,380 Here is about to be hanged General Beats, 472 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:38,080 a traitor to the English crown. 473 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,670 Would anyone like to speak on this man's behalf? 474 00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:42,120 Oliver: I would. 475 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:49,710 ♪♪ 476 00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:52,540 I have a duty to clear my conscience. 477 00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:55,500 I have been insubordinate to the General, 478 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,330 and I was wrong to take for granted 479 00:17:57,330 --> 00:18:00,830 what a caring and gracious leader he is. 480 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,750 His life should be spared so that I can spend 481 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,750 the rest of mine showing him how much he means to me. 482 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:10,540 ♪♪ 483 00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:14,250 I did that, muchacho. That was me. 484 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:15,920 Thank you, Oliver. 485 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,670 But I still have to die to inspire my men 486 00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:19,750 to fight and win the battle. 487 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:20,920 Traitor! 488 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,330 ♪♪ 489 00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:24,920 I really appreciate what you said, 490 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,620 and it means the world to me that you're here, 491 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:27,620 no matter how it happened. 492 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:28,710 I love you, Dad. 493 00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:30,040 I love you, too, son. 494 00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:33,960 Wow. 495 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,290 That was a nice moment. 496 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,330 Let's stop rolling, guys. 497 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,500 We shouldn't be making fun of Professor Badonkadonk. 498 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:44,750 No, no, no, no. 499 00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,830 We absolutely should, just...not about this. 500 00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:49,170 Let's pack it in, 501 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,250 like Beats packs it into his pleated khakis. 502 00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:54,330 [ Clears throat ] 503 00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:57,830 Any final words, General Beats? 504 00:18:57,830 --> 00:19:00,210 May my death serve as an inspiration 505 00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,290 to the sons and daughters of the revolution. 506 00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:03,880 Now and forever more! 507 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,250 You're smiling too much. 508 00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:08,040 I mean, still smile a little. 509 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,540 Dane's got to take the newsletter photo. 510 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:10,920 [ Clears throat ] 511 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,830 Everybody say, "Execution!" 512 00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:14,880 Together: Execution! 513 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,040 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 514 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,170 May my death serve as an inspiration 515 00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:23,250 to the sons and daughters of the revolution. 516 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,620 Now and forever more. 517 00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:29,290 Wow. That was riveting. 518 00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,040 Wish I could've seen it. 519 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,120 Actually, you can. 520 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,710 Oh, God. I gotta come clean. 521 00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,710 My guys were filming the whole time. 522 00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,330 Lonnie, I knew you couldn't help yourself. 523 00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:39,380 No, I did help myself! 524 00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:42,170 After being there and watching you and Oliver, 525 00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:45,170 I saw how much it meant to you, so I'm not using the footage. 526 00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:48,170 But I did edit it into a heroic highlight reel 527 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:51,120 from the battle, so...check it out. 528 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,210 Okay. 529 00:19:55,330 --> 00:19:59,830 ♪♪ 530 00:19:59,830 --> 00:20:01,670 Fire! Together: Bang! 531 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:03,500 Reload! 532 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:04,540 [ Laughs ] 533 00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:09,830 ♪♪ 534 00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:11,460 Dane: Everybody say, "Execution!" 535 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,540 Together: Execution! 536 00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:16,420 I guess there is something more embarrassing than your dancing. 537 00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:18,830 ♪♪ 36639

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