Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,305 --> 00:00:02,611
Aren't you Lil Dicky?
2
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:04,308
♪ Yes, I know
That I'm a rapper ♪
3
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,136
-♪ At the end of the day ♪
-[gasping]
4
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:09,879
♪ But I think
It's time you knew me
By my government name ♪
5
00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:12,229
-♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪
-ANNOUNCER: Dave.
6
00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,926
All-new Wednesday at 10:00
on FXX.
7
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,972
And next day, FX on Hulu.
8
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,112
NADJA: So, yes,
it has been quite a summer.
9
00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,940
-We finally got a new familiar.-Yeah.
10
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:30,726
-But he had an accident
and died.
-Yeah.
11
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,815
-Left a bit. Left a bit more.
-[shears clipping]
12
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,643
It's not even.
13
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,384
[screams]
14
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:39,300
Ooh. Shit.
15
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:40,910
So we found another one
and she had an accident
16
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,304
and she died.
17
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:44,740
-[shrieks]
-Oh, fuck.
18
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,438
-[screaming]
-[water splashes]
19
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:52,008
I had what is known
as a summer of self-discovery.
20
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,011
I was being a vapor
21
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:59,885
and I got sucked
into an air purifier.
22
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:02,366
But apart from that,
23
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,238
pretty slow summer.
24
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,370
And then the same thing
happened with the next one.
25
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,505
I spent so much time at the DMV
26
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,942
they finally just
gave me a license.
27
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:15,901
I did what any young,
handsome man would do,
28
00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:18,904
I went and bought
a classic convertible,
29
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:23,387
put the top down,
blasted some tunes and, uh,
30
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:26,347
I blocked the entrance
to the Lincoln Tunnel.
31
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:29,698
-[horns honking]
-This is gonna ruin
my day, too, you know.
32
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,308
-And then the next one.
-Yep.
33
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,571
[shouting]
34
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:38,359
NADJA: We've been through about six-- no, seven familiars this year.
35
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,361
-Seven?
-Yeah, remember Joey?
36
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,537
No, my dear,
I'm not that familiar.
37
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,539
[both laugh]
38
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,280
No, don't you remember?
39
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,499
His intestines came
straight out of his bum.
40
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,588
-Oh, Joey. Yeah, yeah.
-Mm.
41
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,460
Not much new with me.
I've been spending
42
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,418
a lot more time
in the upstairs bathroom.
43
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:57,508
But besides that, my summer's
been pretty mellow and-- Ooh.
44
00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,467
-[creature squeaking]
-There's this little guy.
45
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:02,296
Here. I've been trying to make
friends with him all summer.
46
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,341
Don't be afraid. Come on in.
47
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:05,995
[hisses]
48
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:14,395
Oh, sh...
49
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,875
[moans, grunts]
50
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,530
That's the tenth vampire
I killed this month.
51
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:21,489
These vampire assassins
keep trying to kill
52
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:22,968
Nandor, Nadja and Laszlo
53
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:26,015
ever since they escaped
from the Vampiric Council.
54
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,451
I'm doing it
to protect my master.
55
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,584
But I can't tell him
I'm a vampire killer,
56
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:32,021
because then he'd have
to kill me.
57
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,023
Guillermo, what are you doing?
58
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,981
-Dusting.
-Well, can you dust
more quietly please?
59
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:39,333
-I'm trying to sleep.
-Okay.
60
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,770
GUILLERMO:
I haven't slept in 72 hours.
I've been eating
61
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:42,945
these chocolate-covered
espresso beans.
62
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,338
They give you enough pep
just to keep going
63
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,600
and just keep going, going,
going and pretend...
64
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,297
-[thudding]
-Ah!
-NANDOR: Guillermo?
65
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,430
Someone's in here!
Please don't open the door.
66
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,562
NANDOR:
Did you make
a messy toilet again?
67
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:54,261
GUILLERMO:
I-I did. I-I had an accident.
Whoopsie.
68
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,915
-Well, actually,
I just wanted to...
-No, Master, don't open...
69
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,527
Oh, Guillermo.
70
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:02,138
You should really
drink more water.
71
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,797
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
72
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,278
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
73
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,802
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
74
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:16,413
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
75
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:18,850
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
76
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:24,029
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
77
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:26,771
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
78
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,078
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
79
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:32,603
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
80
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:36,085
♪
81
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,831
Anyway, that is all in the past,
82
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:45,442
because we have finally
found us a good one.
83
00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:48,358
Topher, come in here!
84
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,404
-Look at this.
-Tophie!
85
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:53,102
Your skull polish, madam.
86
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,973
-I'll be right outside.
-There he goes.
87
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:58,063
Take care of business. Ooh.
[laughs]
88
00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,065
NADJA:
Topher is an absolutely
89
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:03,068
"Bob's your money"
spectacular familiar.
90
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,374
And his résumé
91
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,071
is impeccable.
92
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,596
LASZLO:
It is. He is proficient
in Excel.
93
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,162
And went to Lehigh.
94
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:12,643
Now, my wife and I
have not a whore's notion
95
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,819
what any of that means.
96
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,517
-But we like it.
-[chuckles]
97
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,909
Need any help with that,
G-Money?
98
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,694
Nah, I got it.
99
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,913
It's like my father used to say.
100
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,742
"Never accept a towel
from an Italian."
101
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,528
-[laughs]: Yeah. Topher.
-Very true, darling.
102
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:28,703
-Master.
-Watching you stretch
103
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,922
your young body
across that fireplace,
104
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:33,098
-you know who you remind me of?-Who, Master?
105
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,970
-Me.
-[laughs]
106
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,363
-Bring it in.
-[Nadja gasps]
107
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:38,060
-[laughs]
-You're the best.
108
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,845
-NANDOR: Guillermo! Guillermo!
-Y-Yes, Master?
109
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,065
Yes?
110
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,676
I dragged my cape through
a street doo-doo again.
111
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,026
I dragged it for three blocks
before I noticed
112
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,854
and I'm embarrassed to say
I dragged it
113
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,682
for another eight blocks
after that.
114
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:54,598
-Why did you do that, Master?-Well, I thought it would help,
115
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,644
you know, drag the doo-doo off.
116
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:59,124
-Anyway, take care of it please.
-TOPHER: Hey, uh,
117
00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:00,909
-you want me to fly in
with the assist?
-NANDOR: No!
118
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,606
TOPHER:
That actually
is a-a lot of shit on it.
119
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:05,043
This is a good solo job
for Guillermo.
120
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:08,133
But thank you for the hustle,
Topherino!
121
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:09,134
-[laughter]
-TOPHER: Look out.
122
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:11,006
-Hustle...?
-I don't think so.
123
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:15,402
-NANDOR:
It looks fantastic in here.
-LASZLO: Doesn't it?
124
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,491
-I could watch him clean
all day.
-NANDOR: Yes.
125
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,144
TOPHER:
All right, I'm glad
to hear you say that.
126
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,624
Uh-huh.
127
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:21,625
[laughs]:
All right.
128
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,627
[laughs]:
All right! Bye, Bobby.
129
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,716
It's my little side hustle.
130
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,719
I'm a 0.5 percent owner in thisdope new line of hard ciders.
131
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:32,723
-It's called Doze Apples
Hard Cider.
-[forced laugh]
132
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,596
That's clever, 'cause it--
they're made with apples.
133
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,553
Apple flavoring,
134
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:38,163
-we have to say.
-Do Laszlo and Nadja
135
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,774
-know about this?
-Eh.
136
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,166
What they don't know
can't hurt them.
137
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,604
-Am I right? High five.
-I...
138
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,170
-Come on, dawg.
Don't leave me hanging.
-I don't know. Just...
139
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,737
-With our job...
-Dawg. Don't leave me
hanging, dawg.
140
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,610
-And we're just...
-Dawg. Don't leave me hang...
141
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,176
-I just think that...-No, give me a better one, dawg.
142
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,395
-I just think...
-Again, high five!
143
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,571
Oh, yeah. High five.
144
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,094
I feel like there's a way
145
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,532
to be cool-- which you are,
you're very cool...
146
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,534
-Thank you.
-...and also, respectful,
you know?
147
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,449
You need to let them know
148
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:05,190
that you are worthy of being
turned into a vampire someday.
149
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,844
-Which is why we're here.
-To be honest,
150
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,585
I don't really care
about being a vampire.
151
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:11,022
I'm sorry, what?
152
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,111
Yeah, yeah,
I was very surprised
153
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,636
that Topher does not
want to be a vampire.
154
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,985
[exhales] Who doesn't
want to be a vampire?
155
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,249
What are you doing
if you don't... [exhales]
156
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,033
-What-what do you want to be?
-TOPHER: I don't know.
157
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,557
Maybe a warlock.
158
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,036
-That'd be cool.
-That would be cool.
159
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,821
That's, like, above vampire.
160
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,692
Alla-kazoom!
161
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:31,042
And it would explode
or something.
162
00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:34,742
GUILLERMO:
He's still learning.
He's still finding himself.
163
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,091
He'll get there.
164
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:38,267
So, these are like money.
165
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,748
You go to any store that sells
Doze Apples Hard Cider,
166
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:43,228
pay for the cider
with real money, but then,
167
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,579
you mail in this card to
the address there on the back.
168
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:48,582
And I can explain
this whole process
169
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,671
as I'm handing these out?
170
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:52,673
Oh, yeah.
Sometimes more than once.
171
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,240
-[doorbell rings]
-You know, if you want,
you can drain me right now.
172
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:57,025
I'm, like, firing on all
four cylinders, you know?
173
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,070
You can crunch up as much as youwant. I can make some more.
174
00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,942
I-- Yeah, I want to, Topher,
175
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:04,032
but I'm having a pickle
of a time draining you.
176
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,642
I know. I'm sorry, Mr. Robinson.
177
00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:08,036
-[knocking]
-Like, I know
you're trying to bore me--
178
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,212
-Hang on.
-[door creaks]
179
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,519
Come on in.
180
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,262
The stuff that you tell me
is just so interesting.
181
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,655
You know?
182
00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,701
Sue me.
183
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,833
-Who was at the door?
-I don't know.
184
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,706
Unbelievable. Topher?
185
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:28,056
Topher, did you happen to let
two vampires into the house?
186
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,101
-Hey, hang on, dawg.
-Look, there's a couple rules
you need to follow.
187
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,842
-I know you're new, okay, but...-Sorry, just, uh,
188
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,714
conferencing with this guy
I used to intern for,
189
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,585
this dope werewolf--
You might know him, actually.
190
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,979
First of all, werewolves are notdope, so I wouldn't know him.
191
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,763
-Uh, this guy's pretty dope.
-No.
192
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,635
Look, I don't mean to be hard
on you, but it's important
193
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,854
you follow the rules
for everyone's safety.
194
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,639
Do me a favor and stay away
from the koi pond.
195
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,815
I think there's an electrical
short from the heater, so just
196
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,817
-stay away from it...
-Have you tried turning it
off and back on again?
197
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,645
No, just don't touch it,
Topher, okay?
198
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,734
-The electric guy's
gonna be here on Monday.
-Always works for me.
199
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,083
So just leave it alone...
200
00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:00,871
GUILLERMO: Yeah. I'm sad that Topher died.
201
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:03,744
Another familiar dead, you know?
202
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:06,660
But... that's the business.
203
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:09,271
I'm used to it.
204
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:11,142
That's bad, right?
205
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,714
Death comes for us all.
206
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:20,717
It comes for the bees.
207
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,719
It comes for the trees.
208
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:27,681
It comes for, uh, basically
anyone from zero on up,
209
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,900
so... one...
210
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,119
LASZLO:
Are you kidding?
211
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:33,295
...two, three, four.
212
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:34,949
Put a cork in it,
Colin Robinson.
213
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:37,386
-We're weak enough as it is.
-NANDOR: Perhaps there is
214
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,389
-a familiar killer on the loose?-NADJA: What?
215
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,173
Well, I was just thinking,
you know,
216
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,740
if there are vampire killers,
217
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,787
then why not
familiar killers, also?
218
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,832
There's no such thing asvampire killers, you knob lord.
219
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,356
-Well...
-What was that, Guillermo?
220
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,923
I'm just saying
that it wouldn't hurt
221
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,882
to be more cautious and alert.
222
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,318
NADJA:
Enough of this!
223
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,102
This is horse piss.
We are vampires.
224
00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:00,148
We can do better
than this for our Topher.
225
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,889
Guillermo, dig him up.
226
00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,064
Yes.
227
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,370
Please be respectful of his mud.
228
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,198
A necromancer is someone
229
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:09,113
who can reanimate the dead.
230
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:12,029
It's a truly fantastical part
of the dark arts.
231
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,815
And I happen to have
a very good old pal
232
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,817
-Wallace...
-[scoffs]
233
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:20,734
...who is excellently proficientin the art of necromancy.
234
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:23,867
No, he's excellent, at the darkart of ripping you off.
235
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:25,739
-[groans]
-These people are shysters.
236
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,176
They're obsessed
with the upsell.
237
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,744
I'm sure his hut
is around here somewhere.
238
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:33,181
It's a classic necromancer scam.
239
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:36,271
"Meet me at my hut."
What bloody hut?
240
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,315
[sighs]
241
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,840
[gasps]There it is. I'm certain of it.
242
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,190
Look at all those pale,
desperate wretches
243
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:43,974
scurrying around
in the moonlight.
244
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,933
It's a performing arts school.
245
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:49,110
COLIN:
Hey, a high school production
of Thornton Wilder's
246
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,808
Our Townwith a Q and A
afterwards. [chuckles]
247
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,550
-Don't mind if I do. Yum, yum.
-WALLACE: You seek
248
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,421
the necromancer?
249
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,206
LASZLO:
What the...?
250
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,208
I am they.
251
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,426
[laughs]:
Hello, Wallace!
252
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,993
[grunting, laughing]
253
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,995
NADJA:
Come on, everyone!
254
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:08,477
-WALLACE: I've got a lovely potof stew if anyone's hungry.
-LASZLO: No.
255
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,959
-I see you admiring my wares.
Anything tickle your fancy?
-No.
256
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:15,310
-NADJA: Hush.
-These bracelets
ward off the evil eye.
257
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:17,747
-NADJA: Ooh. Ooh.-This one attracts the evil eye.
258
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:21,795
-And this one increases
sexual stamina. Yeah.
-[Nadja laughs]
259
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,971
You could do with a leg up.
260
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:27,757
-And these are key chains
that look like license plates.
-NADJA: Uh-huh.
261
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,324
LASZLO:
Look, mister,
we are not interested
262
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,892
in your tricks and trinkets.
263
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,851
This one would make a cute giftfor a man named Steve.
264
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:37,898
NADJA:
Yes, yes, yes, but, Wallace,
what we are here for
265
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,029
is we were hoping
you could reanimate
266
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:40,465
our beloved familiar Topher.
267
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:43,207
Yes, uh, how long
has he been dead?
268
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,906
-Huh?
-Oh, that is Guillermo.
269
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:48,473
He is not dead, although
sometimes we wish he was.
270
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,606
[laughter]
271
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,477
Just a little joke there,
Guillermo,
272
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,044
I got it.
273
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,872
All right, so, uh,
where's the carcass?
274
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:59,223
Yes. Guillermo,
fetch the carcass.
275
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:02,183
-The what?
-The carcass.
276
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:04,838
-The cadaver, man.
-I'll go get the body.
277
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,970
NANDOR:
What was that?
278
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,929
I'll go get the carcass.
279
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,060
NANDOR:
Better.
280
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,714
[grunting]
281
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,852
And did you bring a personalitem belonging to the deceased?
282
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:21,289
Uh, yes, uh, his mini-fridge.
283
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,291
Uh, Guillermo, you did
bring the mini-fridge, yeah?
284
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:26,990
He absolutely loved
this cold, white little box.
285
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,949
And the foot of a deranged cat,
286
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:31,603
the night-thistle,
the parcel of wolf's-bane
287
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:34,084
and the $350 cash?
288
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,825
-Thank you.
-It's all there,
289
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,087
razzle-dazzle man.
290
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,481
Good, good.
I can't stress enough
291
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,570
the $350 cash.
292
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:44,355
-Yeah, I'll bet you can't.
-Otherwise,
the spells don't work.
293
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:46,314
Wallace,do you think we are going to get
294
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:49,534
-our beloved Topher back?-Well, he seems well preserved.
295
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:52,537
Everything seems to want to...
seems to be intact.
296
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,539
He hasn't had that, uh,
297
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,280
intestines out of the asshole,
has he?
298
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:57,368
-No, no.
-Good,
299
00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,327
'cause that really yucks me out.
300
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,112
Right, then, here we go.
Hold on to your hats.
301
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:05,986
[exhales dramatically]
302
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,552
-[clang reverberates]
-[growls]
303
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:10,294
[snorting]
304
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,122
Yes! You're alive!
305
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,994
You can jive!
306
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,517
Your spirit rise!
307
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,171
♪ The light has gone♪
308
00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:18,825
♪ Out of your eyes♪
309
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:19,956
♪ What a surprise♪
310
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,002
-♪ Yah!♪
-Is he scatting?
311
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,351
No, of course not.
312
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:24,569
♪ Zippidee-dop♪
313
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,875
♪ A-zippidee-doo♪
314
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:28,138
♪ A-zippidee-zop-zop,
wabada-boo...♪
315
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,574
-[scatting continues]
-This is bullshit.
316
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:30,924
[whispers]:
Shut up.
317
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:31,925
♪ Ooh-eh♪
318
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,014
[chanting gibberish]
319
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,146
-Oh-pah!
-[thunder crashes]
320
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,062
[rhythmic chanting]
321
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,326
[chanting continues]
322
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,806
[thunder crashing]
323
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,852
-[phone chimes]
-Zombra, zombra, zombra.
324
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,028
Zambra, zombra.
325
00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,333
Why is he looking at his phone?
326
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,118
It probably just can't wait.
It's an emergency.
327
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:55,339
Z-Zombra, zambra,
zombra, zombra, zombra.
328
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:58,038
Zombarisa...
[grunting]
329
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,691
Hai! Hai! Hai!
Hai, hai, hai!
330
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,171
Ba-boom!
331
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,696
-Oh!
-Ew!
-Get in, you bastard!
332
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:08,178
The end.
I have achieved reanimation.
333
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,963
[pants]
Your beloved familiar
334
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,965
will return to you tomorrow.
335
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:14,619
-Tomorrow?
-Life takes time, my friend.
336
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:18,058
We are reversing the very powerof nature itself.
337
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:20,060
But there's
a-a quickening ritual,
338
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,931
if you want
to chivvy things along.
339
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,107
As we're all friends,
I could do it for a hundy.
340
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,109
-No, you bloody won't.
We're not interested.
-[clicks tongue]
341
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,068
Thank you so very much, Wallace.
342
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,547
♪ Zappidee-doo.♪
343
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,811
Zappidee-doo.
344
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,122
Everything is back to normal,
because our Topher is back!
345
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,645
It's true.
I've got to admit,
346
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,952
Wallace, as contemptible
a man as he is,
347
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:47,087
-actually came up trumps.
-[fake coughing]: Told you so.
348
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:50,220
[fake coughing]
You fucking didn't.
349
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:53,093
Don't tell Guillermo, but...
350
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,399
I'm so happy Topher is back.
351
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,621
All right,
let us begin with the minutes.
352
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,231
I am here.
353
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,451
Guillermo, you are there.
354
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,105
And, um...
355
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,889
TOPHER [growling]:
To-pher!
356
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,369
NADJA [laughs]:
Oh, Tophie!
357
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:09,457
And there is Topher.
358
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,588
Wonderful.
359
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,286
We are all here.
We can begin.
360
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,201
Firstly--
and I'm not naming names--
361
00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:17,291
but I have recently noticed
that the house reeks
362
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:20,076
of decaying flesh, and there aredead birds everywhere.
363
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,686
TOPHER:
Topher!
364
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,514
As I say, I'm not naming names.
365
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,473
But if we do have an issue,
366
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,475
then it's important
that we all work together
367
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:30,304
to let Guillermo know,
so that he can fix it.
368
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,262
TOPHER:
Doze Apples!
369
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,483
-[giggles]
-[Topher snarling]
370
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,788
LASZLO:
Off he goes.
371
00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,529
That chap's tireless, isn't he?
372
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,576
You could learn something
from Topher, no, Guillermo?
373
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,491
I actually have an orderof business I'd like to discuss.
374
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,058
-Oh...
-NANDOR: Okay.
375
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,277
-The floor is yours.
-I'm a little bit concerned
376
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,452
about Topher.
377
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:50,280
I think there might be
something
378
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,282
-really wrong with him.
-[raspy panting]
379
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:55,024
-Topher! Aah!
-[whimpers]
380
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:58,288
-He waits under my bed and tries to bite me, for one. -NANDOR: Yes.
381
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,029
He eats live birds and insects.
382
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:02,162
I think, I think
he might be a zombie.
383
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,381
[fly buzzing]
384
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,427
That, my boy,
sounds like slander.
385
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:09,169
Nandor, what are you going to doabout the state of the muck
386
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,474
-pouring out of his mouth?
-Guillermo,
387
00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,302
do you have any proof
of this wild accusation?
388
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,348
-[snarling]
-Aah!
389
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:18,830
Well, do you?
390
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:20,571
He's not well!
391
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,312
-He's freaking out.
-Yes!
392
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,314
He's gonna eat me!
Dios mío!
393
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:25,707
LASZLO:
Well, now he's
speaking in tongues.
394
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,274
That is awful of you
to call Topher
395
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:28,405
those things you just did.
396
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:31,104
[raspy yelling]
397
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:33,193
Exactly.
398
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:36,196
Guillermo, have you
been getting enough sleep?
399
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,980
[laughing]: No. No,
I am not getting any sleep!
400
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,287
I haven't slept
in the last two weeks,
401
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:43,203
because I have to keep one eye
open to protect you guys!
402
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,553
-[laughs]
-Protect us from what?
403
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:50,732
Nothing.
404
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,560
I just wish you guys knew
how hard I work for you,
405
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:55,215
and you don't, so that's okay,
never mind, forget it.
406
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,304
Did you see that?
407
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,654
-He was eating
his own dry poops.
-[groans]
408
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,227
The vampire assassins
usually come at night,
409
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,750
so I have to constantly survey
the perimeter.
410
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:11,318
[clattering in distance]
411
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,363
♪
412
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,598
[snarls] Topher!
413
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,166
Topher? No, no, no, no, no, no!
414
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:34,950
I don't wanna die, I don't
wanna die, I don't wanna...
415
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,343
[fierce yelling]
416
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:39,607
-[raspy groaning]
-[panting]
417
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,305
Sorry. Sorry.
418
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:44,177
[high-pitched]:
Why...?
419
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:47,876
Sorry, buddy,but you were trying to kill me.
420
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,358
High five.
421
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,229
I don't know, bud.
422
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:55,666
-Come on!
-Okay. All right.
423
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,451
-Aw, shit.
-[groans]
424
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,366
-Why?!
-Sorry, Toph.
425
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:01,281
See, that's why
I didn't want to do that.
426
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,413
-Toph.
-[agonized groaning]
427
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,633
No, buddy, I don't think it's
gonna go back on there, bud.
428
00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:08,331
[grunts]
High five!
429
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,724
No, I'm not gonna
high-five you anymore.
430
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:10,855
High five!
431
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,814
Ow, Toph! That really hurt!
432
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,598
-High five!
-Stop it, you...
433
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,470
You're being really rude
right now!
434
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,124
-[snarling]
-Stop it! Stop it!
435
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,388
Stop it, Topher.
Stop it, Topher!
436
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,086
-[grunting, yelling]
-Stop it, Topher!
437
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,914
Aw, fuck no!
438
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:28,438
No one bites Guillermo!
439
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,313
[whispers]:
It was an accident.
440
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,708
All right, dudes,
I'm headed out.
441
00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:40,450
Going up to Albany to catch
a community theater production
442
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,886
of Pippin.
443
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,105
[snarling]
444
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:48,328
What's going on with,
uh, Toph-Dawg?
445
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,330
I think he's a zombie.
446
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,635
Yeah, could be.
447
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:53,420
-See you guys later.
-[snarling]
448
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,683
[chuckles]:
You goofballs.
449
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,687
[snarls, growls]
450
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:02,081
-[Guillermo gasping]
-[yelling]
451
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:09,523
GUILLERMO:
No!
452
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:12,308
Why won't you die?!
453
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,139
Stop it! Stop it!
454
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,227
Ow!
455
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,405
Jesus fucking...!
456
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:25,060
Topher!
457
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,894
[screams] Guillermo!
458
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,330
[hissing]
459
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,289
GUILLERMO:
Master...
460
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,204
you saved me.
461
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:39,683
Thank you.
462
00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:42,512
Your screaming disturbed me
from my slumber.
463
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,384
You shouldn't be putting
your head in there.
464
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:45,254
It's not hygienic.
465
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,951
If you want to wash yourself,
do it in...
466
00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:48,562
Will you stop that!
467
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,781
-[snarling]
-I've had enough of this.
468
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:58,311
He was a good familiar
and a fine fellow.
469
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,530
-But what is done is done.
-[Topher grunts]
470
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:01,923
[Guillermo screaming]
471
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,316
This fuckin' guy.
472
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,187
[yelling]
473
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:13,326
He was a good familiar
and a fine fellow.
474
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:14,762
But what is done is done.
475
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,416
[screaming]
476
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:19,245
Are you kidding me with this
right now?
477
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:22,422
Just give him a few jolts.
I'll be fine.
478
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,511
He was a good familiar
and a fine fellow.
479
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:25,947
[electrical crackling]
480
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,428
Kind of tickles.
481
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,995
[Topher snarling]
482
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,519
You conned us,
you slippery bastard!
483
00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,564
Wallace,
how could you do this to us?
484
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:37,001
Yeah, plus, he was crawling
on the ceiling, which is odd.
485
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:39,482
-Well, he didn't do that before?-NADJA: Of course not!
486
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,789
Well, okay, I must have used
the wrong incantation spell.
487
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,487
But you know what?
No extra charge.
488
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,141
-Bullshit! You made it up
as you were going along.
-No, no, no, no,
489
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,448
that was word-for-word verbatim.
490
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,537
No. You were bloody texting
on your phone the whole time!
491
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,582
It was an Amber Alert.
492
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,236
Well, I did think
it was important.
493
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,021
He is damaged goods,
and we demand satisfaction!
494
00:19:57,065 --> 00:20:00,503
-[Topher snarling]
-Not cool, Wallace, not cool.
495
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,331
-Fine. Let me have him.
-What, do you think
496
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,464
I'm gonna let him go?
You must be out of your mind.
497
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:05,769
-[whistles]
-[stops snarling]
498
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,076
Come here, boy.
499
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:09,556
Come on, come on.
500
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,777
That'll do, pig, that'll do.
501
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,388
-Wow.
-All right,
502
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,172
I don't normally do refunds,
503
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,000
but I'll take him
off your hands for you.
504
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,393
And for your trouble,
505
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:23,657
each of you can grab
a license plate key chain.
506
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,615
For free?
507
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:27,182
Free. Gratis.
508
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,749
Okay.
509
00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,533
Come on!
510
00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:33,493
-Oh. "Ingrid." Oh.
-NANDOR: I got...
511
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:34,624
"Steve."
512
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:38,585
So if you're watching, Steve...
513
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,543
waiting for you.
514
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,849
Ah.
515
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,633
NADJA:
I got "Nadia," uh,
516
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,506
which is my name,
but with a less exciting "J."
517
00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:48,508
Completely free.
518
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:50,031
You don't have "Colin."
519
00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:52,512
We haven't sold any
since 1979, mate.
520
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,514
But you have "Condom."
521
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,603
Very, very popular.
522
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:58,431
-Can I take one?
-Go for it.
523
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,084
GUILLERMO:
So I got...
524
00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,434
"Gigi."
525
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,914
I guess that's better
than "Gizmo."
526
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:10,312
Being a familiar
isn't for everyone.
527
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:14,055
You're not always thanked
or praised.
528
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:17,145
But after my master
saved my life,
529
00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:20,104
he proved to me that...
he really does care about me
530
00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:22,455
and all the things I do for him.
531
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:26,285
And if one day
he doesn't, well...
532
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,567
Here you go. Down there.
533
00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:49,569
That be slippy there, hang on.
534
00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:51,919
Here you go. [whistles]
535
00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:53,399
Topher!
536
00:21:53,442 --> 00:21:54,922
Yep.
537
00:21:54,965 --> 00:21:57,316
Just uh, copy what they do,
you'll be fine.
538
00:21:58,534 --> 00:21:59,796
Doze Apples!
539
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,494
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very good.
540
00:22:01,537 --> 00:22:03,713
Be back to check on you
next year.
541
00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:05,976
Doze Apples.
542
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,543
WALLACE:
Yes, yes.
543
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:11,765
FEMALE ZOMBIE:
Gigi.
544
00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:14,594
MALE ZOMBIE:
Condom.
545
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,726
TOPHER: Topher!
546
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,207
♪ See the people
all dressed in white♪
547
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,514
♪ Oh, it must be
the children of Israel♪
548
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:23,298
♪ Just a-walkin'
into the light♪
549
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,213
♪ 'Cause there ain't no grave♪
550
00:22:25,256 --> 00:22:28,216
♪ Gonna hold my body down♪
551
00:22:28,259 --> 00:22:30,305
♪ Oh, there ain't no grave♪
552
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,482
♪ Gonna hold my body down♪
553
00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:36,267
♪ When that trumpet shot
shall blast♪
554
00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:37,921
♪ And the dead
shall leave at last♪
555
00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:40,315
♪ There ain't no grave♪
556
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,577
♪ Gonna hold♪
557
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:44,711
♪ My body down.♪
558
00:22:44,754 --> 00:22:47,757
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
559
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,765
[Muzak playing]
560
00:22:56,766 --> 00:23:01,423
"Total protection
from the sun."
561
00:23:02,555 --> 00:23:04,600
[up-tempo folk music]
562
00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:08,648
-VOCALIST: Hey!
-[bat squeaks]
563
00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:11,564
-Mom.
-Yes?
564
00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:13,827
-Okay. I want
a big party this year.
-Serious?
565
00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:16,177
-I want a quinceañera.
-Quinceañera?
566
00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:19,398
We can't do that.
We're too white for that.
We're not allowed.
567
00:23:28,711 --> 00:23:31,671
Do me a favor?Never look me in the eye again.
568
00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:34,674
Okay? 'Cause your stare
is way too intense.
569
00:23:34,717 --> 00:23:36,502
It's starting to make
my hair fall out.
570
00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:43,465
I'm good at reading and writing.
571
00:23:43,596 --> 00:23:46,468
Yes, you are. You know,
I wanted to be a writer
when I was a kid.
572
00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:48,557
Or an artist, you know?
573
00:23:48,601 --> 00:23:50,646
Cartoonist, maybe.
Combine the two.
574
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:51,691
Why didn't you?
575
00:23:53,519 --> 00:23:55,216
-[both screaming]
-Wake up!
576
00:23:55,259 --> 00:23:56,913
-You two came along.
-[screaming]
577
00:23:56,957 --> 00:23:58,698
-Bing, bing, bing!
-Oh!
578
00:23:58,741 --> 00:24:00,656
-Life gets in the way, don't it?-[screams]-[grunts]
579
00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:02,484
Oh. Ow!
580
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:03,703
You drift.
581
00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,052
-Ahh.
-[screaming]
582
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,489
I'm not blaming you.
Just... you did ask.
Right.
583
00:24:12,929 --> 00:24:14,888
I would like to explore the idea
584
00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:16,585
of tokenism
in the workplace,
585
00:24:16,629 --> 00:24:19,109
where one minority is propped up
586
00:24:19,153 --> 00:24:21,677
to cover the experience
of the entire population.
587
00:24:21,721 --> 00:24:23,244
WOMAN: That's interesting.
588
00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:25,289
Wait. Sorry. You're not sayingyou feel that way here?
589
00:24:25,725 --> 00:24:26,726
[inhales]
590
00:24:34,429 --> 00:24:37,040
[woman] Cause precedes effect.
591
00:24:37,084 --> 00:24:38,694
Effect leads to cause.
592
00:24:39,826 --> 00:24:43,177
The future is fixed
in exactly the same way
as the past.
43380
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.