Original subtitles

Fight, fight!

Win, win!

Go, fight, win!

Go, go!

Fight, fight!

Win, win!

Oh, my God! You stole my baby! You're so evil!

Help me catch him!

We gotta get out of here!

Murderer!

- Hey! Shit! - Come on. Keep going.

If you're gonna go to the ball, you have to know how to dance like a princess, right?

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Yeah. What are you gonna wear today?

One, two, three. I'm gonna wear-

You're gonna wear- I'm gonna wear-

a bucket on your head? No!

One, two, three. One, two, three. No? One, two, three.

I'm gonna-And a barrel around your body.

No! And scrub brushes for your shoes.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Ah! Ah!

- One, two, three. - Arf, arf, arf, arf.

Arf, arf.

Arf, arf, arf. Arf. Arf, arf.

Arf, arf, arf.

Good morning. Arf. Arf?

Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf.

Hey! How are you, buddy? Arf, arf, arf.

You get something to eat? Arf, arf, arf, arf.

No. I'm not hungry. Arf!

Arf, arf!

Arf?

Arf, arf!

Yee-hoo!

Well, if there's- if they change flights,

it's gonna be $75-.

All right.

I gotta leave on the 23rd.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah.

Franklin? Hey, it's me.

I just wanted to, uh, leave a message.

Do you think we could make some time to talk later?

Just the two of us, without the kids?

I really wanna work this thing out.

Okay?

I miss you.

Eva Khatchadourian?

Done a lot.

Look, Eva. I don't really care who you are or what you done.

So long as you can type and you can file, you can have this job.

Oh, that-that's wonderful.

Thank you.

I won't let you down. I promise.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Sure.

See you Monday.

Great. Thank you.

Yeah. On your feet now!

Looks like someone's having a nice day.

Enjoying yourself? Sorry?

I hope you rot in hell, you fucking bitch!

Jesus. What the hell was that? No, no, no, no. It's nothing.

Are you okay? Let me call 911. Really, it's nothing.

It was my fault. But she just totally-

No, no, no. I'm fine!

Oh.

Eva, when are you coming home?

I miss you.

I love you.

Mmm.

Ooh!

Promise me you'll never go away again.

I will never-will never-

never go away again.

Mmm. Can you promise me?

Yes, I promise. I will never. Promise me.

Is it safe? No, it's not safe.

Try, Eva.

Are you sure about this?

Is this really happening?

Ooh, I can feel him. I can feel it.

Did it.

I'm gonna need these all processed today, Eva.

Uh, but, uh, today is my afternoon off.

You remember, I told you? Oh, shit. That's right.

Well, look it, just get to them as soon as you can, will you?

Sure.

Good evening.

Hey, Eva. Hey, Al.

No, Officer, get off me! Let go of me, man!

Get off me! Hey! Keep walking.

Hey, lady! Lady! Lady, please help me! I didn't do nothing, man!

I didn't do nothing! Help me!

I didn't do nothin'! Get the hell off of me!

Get off of me!

Eva?

Eva, stop resisting.

Stop resisting, Eva.

Eva?

Hey! Hey!

Hey. Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Rise and shine.

It's late, Eva. Hey.

The day's almost over.

Hi!

Don't-Don't pick him up. Please don't pick him up. I just put him down.

Franklin. Ah. Ah.

Hi! Hi!

There he is.

You wanna play?

He's all right.

You've got to rock him a little bit. He's all right.

You think I'm exaggerating?

You just have to rock him a little bit.

You just have to rock him a little bit.

There's my little dude.

Aw.

Jesus. It's all 12?

I'll take them as they are. But they're totally broken.

I'll take em as they are!

Oh, no!

Oh, my God! No!

No!

You're gonna be a good-lookin boy.

Man, the girls are gonna love you.

No, no, no. Don't wake up. Don't wake up.

Can you say "Mommy"?

Mo... mmy. Mommy?

Kevin?

Can you say "ball"? Ball? B-B-B-Ba-Ba-.

Ball?

No, no? Okay.

I'm gonna throw it to you. You're gonna roll it back to me, okay?

Okay.

Roll it back to Mommy.

Yeah, yeah. Roll it back.

Roll-Roll it back to Mommy.

Okay. Okay.

Roll it back, okay? Just roll it back.

Just roll it back. Just-.

When he was a baby, he never stopped screaming.

I thought maybe it had damaged his hearing.

No, his hearing's fine.

But shouldn't he be talking by now?

I read somewhere that nonverbalizing was an early sign of autism.

He has none of the telltale rocking signs.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

He's a floppy little boy, isn't he?

But there's nothing wrong with him.

Thank you.

Okay.

Roll it back to Mommy.

Oh! Whoa! Yay! Yay.

Yay. Okay.

Gonna roll it back again. That was really good, Kev.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay? Okay?

"'E is for elephant, large as a house,

as big as can be, not small like a mouse."

Can you say "elephant," Kevin? Elephant?

Ele... phant.

Kevin! Kevin. Kevin.

Could you say "Mommy" for me? No!

Mommy? No!

Just say "Mommy." No.

Trick or treat!

Trick or treat! Hey, lady, we know you're in there!

We want candy! Shit!

Hey, lady! We want candy!

K.K.! K.K.! K.K.! Candy!

Candy! Candy! K.K.! K.K.! K.K.!

I don't like that. I don't like that.

- Give us candy, lady! - I don't like that.

Mommy was happy before "widdle" Kevin came along.

You know "dat"?

Now Mommy wakes up every morning...

and wishes she was in France!

Hey! Hey!

Trick or treat! Candy! Candy!

Candy! Candy! Candy! Candy!

That elevator's a death trap.

He needs a yard, somewhere you can toss a ball, fill a pool.

Na-na, na-na-na. Na-na-na.

But I love New York. Na-na-na.

Come on. You sound like a bumper sticker.

It's a matter of priorities, Eva. He's only gonna be a kid once.

Yeah, you can house hunt all you want. I'm telling you, I'm not leaving the city.

Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh? Kevin, stop that. That's enough.

Let Mom and Daddy talk. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.

Kevin, quit that!

Got a family room here.

Master bedroom's back there with two huge walk-in closets.

Bathroom is amazing.

Here we are, guys. Our very own castle.

I'm gonna go and grab some lunch.

Does anybody want anything?

Hey!

Hey, wait up. Mrs. K!

Hey! It's me.

Soweto.

Hi there.

I just wanted to see how you were.

I'm fine, thanks.

You look well. Yeah.

Doctors are saying there's a chance I might walk again.

That's great.

Well, you take care, Mrs. K.

You too.

Ah, come on, come on, come on.

Die! Die! Die!

No, no, no, no, no!

Ah. Ah. No, no, no, no. Die!

What's- How do you jump?

Die!

Aaah!

No, no! Go, go!

Die!

Kev, you up there?

Kevin?

Kevin, are you in there? Let Daddy go pee-pee in the pooper-dooper.

You can do that too.

Go right there. Uh-huh.

And now you wanna click on that link, and it should open right up.

So you left click. You wanna give it a try? Sure.

No, no, no, no, you- Oh, I'm sorry.

You wanna right click right there. There it is. Yeah. Okay.

See, it opens up. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, thanks. I think I got it.

I pooped. Oh! Oh. Hey, buddy. What?

You pooped? Oh, okay.

Well, let me help you. Here. Wait a minute. Okay.

Here. Um, go to your room. I'll be right there.

Uh, let's- let's not wake up Mommy.

Go on. Go on, buddy.

These squiggly squares of paper-they're dumb.

Everybody needs a room of their own.

You have your room. This is Mommer's room.

I can help you make your room special, if you like.

What do you mean, "special"?

Well, so it looks like your personality.

What personality?

I think you know what I mean.

They're dumb.

No, no, no! I mean, it's good.

You don't need me to do that?

And-And the guide?

Okay.

Well, I mean, if you have it in hand.

I could? Really?

Well, that all sounds great.

Okay, John. Okay?

I- I'll talk to you later. Okay.

Bye.

Kevin?

What else do you have to say?

Go wash your face and hands.

He says he's really sorry...

and that he was only trying to help make it special.

Do you remember how you got that?

The most honest thing you ever did.

You know how they potty train cats?

They stick their noses in their own shit.

They don't like it, so they use the box.

Okay. Let's work on our counting. What comes after three?

Nine.

What comes after seven?

Seventy-one.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16,

17, 18, 19, 20,

21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30,

31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40,

41, 42, 43, 44, 45,

46, 47, 48, 49, 50!

Now can we quit?

There. You can add that together...

since you think you're so smart.

You did not.

You did not.

Oh!

Are you enjoying yourself?

I can see the doctor by myself.

I have to tell you something, Eva.

That's a brave boy you've got there.

Thank you. Anytime.

What Mommer did was very, very wrong,

and she's so, so sorry.

Hey, Kev? Kev, hold on a sec.

Kev.

Kevin.

Hey, Kev. What happened?

I broke my arm.

How did you break your arm? I had poopy pants.

Mommer went to get wipes.

I fell off the changing table onto my dump truck.

Mom took me to Dr. Goldbutt.

It was all my fault.

No, no, don't be silly.

You can't watch him every second of the day.

Franklin.

Unbelievable.

How did you get him to do that?

Well, whatever it was, it worked.

Not yet.

Okay.

I love you, kiddo. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.

Fuck you! You're a killer!

You killed my baby!

I don't like that. Turn it off.

Honey, do you mind if I stop off at the store?

I wanna go home.

It's just that I need to pick up-.

Home it is.

Hey, guys!

Hey, Dad! How was work? Take any cool pictures?

Eva, he's just a boy.

He's a sweet little boy.

That's what boys do.

Mommer's fat.

When did you- When were you gonna tell me?

Soon. Now.

How am I a part of the decision now?

What am I supposed to say now?

Wha-.

So, the daddy bear plants his seed in the mommy bear,

and it grows into an egg.

Is this about fucking?

Do you know what that means?

The boy puts his pee-pee in the girl's doo-doo.

Well, haven't you ever wished...

you had somebody else around to play with?

No.

You might like it. What if I don't like it?

Then you get used to it.

Just because you're used to something doesn't mean you like it.

You're used to me.

Yes, well,

in a few months we're all gonna get used to somebody new.

Beautiful.

Hey, Kev. Come on over here and meet your little sister.

Here's your big brother.

That's Kevin.

That's your big brother.

Yes. Yeah.

It's Kevin. It is.

It is. Kevin! Don't. Don't do that.

Don't. Oh. No. That's not nice.

Maybe we'd better go downstairs and see if we got any snacks, okay?

That's okay. Okay. Okay. Come on. We'll get us some Cheez Doodles.

All gone.

Christ! Ecuador? For two months?

Why can't you send someone else?

I really wanna work this thing out.

First he cries too much. Then he's too quiet.

Then he makes up his own little language, and it's annoying.

Then he has trouble toilet training. A lot of kids do.

You see it as some kind of personal vendetta.

This is not good for him.

Franklin, pick up the goddamn phone!

Pick up the goddamn phone!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15,

16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25,

26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35...

41, 42, 43, 44,

45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50. - Please! Please! Oh, please! Let me have a treat!

I beg of you!

Please!

Kevin?

Kevin.

Honey?

Are you okay?

I'm sorry, Mom.

Not to worry, sweetheart.

You couldn't help it.

"'By my soul!' cried Gilbert,"

'Art thou the devil in blue, to shoot in that wise?'

'Nay quoth Robin, laughing.

'Not quite so ill as that, I trust.'

And he took up another shaft"-.

You okay, honey?

"And he took up another shaft and fitted it to the string."

Again he shot, and again he smote the arrow close beside the center.

A third time he loosed his bowstring...

and dropped his arrow just betwixt the other two and into the very center,

so that the feathers of all three were ruffled together,

seeming from a distance to be one thick shaft.

"And now a low murmur ran all among that great crowd."

Hey, champ. How you doing?

Feeling better?

Go away. I'm tired.

Oh. Okay.

Sure thing, buddy. You just get some rest, okay?

Don't stop reading, Mom.

"Two hundred and eightyscore shafts were shot in all,"

and so deftly were they sped...

that when the shooting was done...

each target looked like the back of a hedgehog...

"when the farm dog snuffs at it."

Good afternoon, ma'am. I hope this isn't an inconvenient time.

Well, it is actually.

Well, we just had a couple of quick questions for you.

What's this about?

Do you know where you're spending the afterlife?

Oh. Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.

I'm going straight to hell.

Eternal damnation. The whole bit.

Thank you for asking. Okay?

Hey, honey. Let me help you with that.

I can dress myself. Can you leave?

Sure.

Glad you're feeling better. You want some more of that chowder for lunch?

Whatever.

Or a grilled cheese sandwich?

I don't give a rat's ass.

Thanks, Dad. This is so cool.

You're welcome, buddy. All right. Here we go. Right in the middle.

Oh, almost! Here. Use that one.

All right. Try again.

Aim with your finger and just keep your eye on the middle.

Great shot, Kev.

You're a natural.

Perfect.

Thanks, Dad.

All right.

It's like this.

You wake up, and you watch TV.

Get in your car, and you listen to the radio.

And you go to your little job, or your little school,

but you're not gonna hear about that on the 6:00 news.

Why?

Because nothing is really happening.

Then you go home, and you watch some more TV.

Or maybe, if it's a fun night, you go out and you watch a movie.

I mean, it's got so bad...

that half the time the people on TV,

inside the TV- they're watching TV.

And what are all these people watching?

Huh?

People like me.

I mean, what are all you doing right now...

but watching me?

You don't think they would have changed the channel by now...

if all I did was get an "A" in geometry?

Me and Kevin were playing Christmas kidnapping.

Kevin.

Kevin, you're my friend!

You're my friend. Beat it, Celie.

Go get me a soda.

No, not that one, you retard.

Get me a root beer.

Hey.

What?

Thanks, Celie. I was thirsty.

Hey. You wanna know a secret? Come really close.

You know who else is thirsty?

You don't?

Mommy!

The vacuum monster!

Cut it out!

- Hey, troops. - Daddy!

Ho, ho, ho! Look what I got.

- Hey, Kev. Come here and give me a hand. - Yeah, sure, Dad.

Oh.

We're gonna be talking about it next Monday! You know?

We're gonna be talking about it next Monday! You know?

You wanna dance?

No, thanks, Colin. No.

Come on. Just one.

I don't dance. Really.

Where do you get off, you stuck-up bitch?

You think anyone else is gonna want you now?

Hmm?

Come on, Eva. Stay for another drink.

Eva, come on.

Oh, come on.

Come on. Dance with me.

Are you excited? Yeah.

Can we leave a carrot for the reindeer? Yes, Lucy. Yes.

Yeah!

Kevin!

Didn't I see you at the bookstore today?

Nope.

Funny. Could have sworn-.

By the way, you doing anything Friday?

Why?

Just thought we might do something together,

for fun.

Like do what?

Maybe take you for dinner?

Play a round of miniature golf.

Okay.

Why didn't you bring a coat?

You just can't get uncomfortable enough, can ya?

Uncomfortable?

With my own mother?

Whenever I see fat people, they're always eating.

Don't give me any of this "slow metabolism, it's my glands" crap.

It's food. They're fat because they eat the wrong food.

Too much of it and all the time.

You know, you can be kind of harsh sometimes.

You're one to talk.

Yeah. I am.

Wonder where I got it?

Well, you won.

So, what next, Mumsy?

We're gonna go home, you're gonna get changed into something reasonable,

and I'm taking you to dinner.

Great.

We're going to dinner.

I was hungry.

I'm a growing boy, you know.

I'll have, uh,

calamari salad,

uh, steak, medium rare,

and a bottle of merlot. All right.

Be right back with that.

So, how's school going?

It's going.

You want my course schedule?

How about your teachers? Are there any who are especially-

Right, right. What bands am I listening to these days, right?

Next, you can wheedle about...

whether there isn't some cute little cunt in the front row who's got me itchy.

That way you can segue into how it's all up to me, of course,

but before balling the chick in the hallway, you know,

I might decide to wait until I'm ready.

Right around dessert you can ask about drugs.

Real careful like, cause you don't want to scare me into, like, lying my head off.

So you have to say how you've experimented.

Then finally, once you've sucked up that entire bottle of wine,

you can go all gooey-eyed and say how nice it is to spend quality time together.

You can scooch over and put your arm around my shoulder,

give it a little squeeze.

Fuck.

Your computer is fucked, isn't it?

Yeah, it's fucked.

And so are all the ones at work.

I guess I deserved it.

Why would you have something like that?

I collect them.

Isn't that a weird thing to collect?

I don't like stamps.

But what's the point?

There is no point.

That's the point.

No, it really hasn't been any trouble at all.

Everybody's bringing a dish.

Mm-hmm.

Oh. That's them now. I gotta go.

Okay. You have a great day.

Bye, Mom.

Merry Christmas.

All right, Kev. You're next.

Can you guess what it is?

It's a series seven.

The guy in the store said it was the best one.

Gee, Dad.

Thank you so much.

Merry Christmas, Kevin. It's perfect.

And what did you eat for breakfast?

How was your day, Snuffles?

Oh, yeah!

- Did you hear that thunk? - Yeah.

That's a powerful thing, man.

Hmm.

Celie?

Come on, honey. Time for bed. There we go.

I thought I closed the door.

Kevin says I'm stupid, and he's right.

You're not stupid, honey.

Don't you worry. We'll find him.

Now you scoot down. Come on.

Scoot down.

Okay.

You cozy?

- Snuffles? - Snuffles?

Snuffles?

Eva.

Face it.

Mr. Snuffles has gone to the big pet store in the sky.

Don't say that. Don't say that!

Yes! But it's true. Don't even-Don't even joke.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn Mr. Snuffles-.

Stop it! Stop it!

Who was snuffed out...

tragically early.

So Daddy and Mommy were looking for him the whole night.

And you know why we couldn't find him?

Because Snuffles has gone to live in the garden.

He's living in the garden now, with a whole bunch of new animal friends.

- Here. I'll give you a hand. - Oh, really?

Celie?

Okay. Give me the spoon.

So, they're having a big party tonight...

with the chipmunks...

and the squirrels and the raccoons.

And they're eating nuts and berries,

and they're gonna have a whole bunch-.

Well-.

Why did you leave the drain stuff out?

I didn't. I put it away.

Then how did it get out?

It was Kevin.

Kevin did it.

Y-You need to go talk to someone.

So, Kev, um,

Mom had something that she wanted to tell you.

I wanted to...

thank you for calling the ambulance.

Hmm.

And-.

And...

I was concerned that you might be feeling responsible.

Why's that?

Because you were supposed to be looking after her.

We just don't want you to blame yourself.

No, I don't.

I mean, I never said I did.

She's gonna need a glass eye, Kevin.

So, we would appreciate you looking out for her, and any name-calling-.

You don't really remember being a kid much, do you, Dad?

Celia's just gonna have to suck it up.

I thought you didn't like those.

Ah, well, they're, uh- They're what do you call it?

An acquired taste.

Sorry, honey. I'm so sorry.

There you go.

Okay.

Thank you, Mommy.

I think I'm gonna have to hit her. You're not gonna hit my wife.

Hey, kiddo. More practice? Yeah, you know it.

Hey, Celie. You want to come collect arrows?

No!

Do you know where Potsie is?

Look, Fonzie.

Thanks, sweetie. All right. All right. I know. I'm goin. I'm goin.

I'm going because I'm a sweetheart of a guy.

So, what do you want to do?

We'll last out the school year, if we can, and...

make arrangements over the summer.

At least custody is a no-brainer.

Is it?

You've decided?

Eva, there's nothing left to decide.

It already happened.

Needed a drink of water.

Hey, Kev.

Listen, buddy.

It's easy to misunderstand something when you hear it out of context.

Why would I not know the context?

I am the context.

We have to appeal. Paying costs is punitive.

No. But you'll lose everything- your business, your house.

I hate the house. I always have.

Run, bitch! You rot in hell!

Hey. Yeah. Uh, parcel for Kevin Katcha... dourian?

Dourion. Right.

Careful. It's heavy. It is?

Yeah. Ooh.

You have a nice day. You too.

What are they for? You never ride your bike.

I got these for a song off the Web.

Gonna make a bundle selling them at school.

Next Donald Trump, huh?

Come with me. Come with me.

Ooh! Yeah.

Come with me.

I'll take you back to my ship.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two-.

One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three.

Ready for the big dip?

Yay!

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Enchanted to meet you, young lady.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

- Yes. - No, you didn't.

Yes, I did. Did you eat all your cereal?

Yes, I did. All right.

- What about your toast? - Yes.

You're a little clammy. You feeling okay?

Never better.

Hey. Only three days to go till you're 16, huh?

We should do something. How about Sunday?

Don't know.

Might be tied up.

Come on. Clean up some of this mess, and then we're gonna get dressed and go.

I don't wanna go to school. I know, but Daddy has to take a shower, and we have to go.

Say good-bye.

Franklin?

Do you think we could make some time to talk later,

just the two of us, without the kids?

I really want to work this thing out.

Doesn't Kevin go to Gladstone High?

Franklin.

Pick up the goddamn phone!

Franklin.

I'm a mother. My child- My son goes here.

Kevin?

Kevin?

Have you seen Kevin?

Kevin?

Laura!

Go, go!

Fight, fight!

Win, win!

Go, fight, win!

Go, go!

Fight, fight!

Win, win!

Go, fight, win!

Go, go!

Fight, fight!

Franklin?

Celie?

Franklin?

Celie?

You don't look happy.

Have I ever?

I'm almost 18, aren't I?

What is it?

Going to big school making you nervous?

Nervous?

Do you know anything about those places?

Well,

you managed it all so well.

Tried as a minor,

out of your head on Prozac.

You'll be out of there in a couple years.

Know what day it is today, why they let me come and see you on a Monday?

Sure.

It's my anniversary.

Two years.

Plenty of time to think about it.

I want you to tell me... why.

I used to think I knew.

Now I'm not so sure.

Your time's up.