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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:03,460 - Alvin, Simon, Theodore. 2 00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:05,051 - [Radio Presenter] That's correct, Warren. 3 00:00:05,051 --> 00:00:05,881 - Yes! 4 00:00:05,884 --> 00:00:06,884 - [Radio Presenter] We're into sudden death, 5 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,110 playing for the meal for two at Bella Italia. 6 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:10,630 Stephen, which footballer 7 00:00:10,630 --> 00:00:13,220 married former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham? 8 00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:14,170 - [Stephen] David Beckham. 9 00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:15,070 - [Radio Presenter] That's correct. 10 00:00:15,069 --> 00:00:15,899 - Bloody easy. 11 00:00:15,902 --> 00:00:16,902 - [Radio Presenter] Warren, in what year 12 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,500 did Preston become a city? 13 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,450 - You're joking me! 14 00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:21,320 - [Radio Presenter] You have 10 seconds. 15 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:22,830 - Well, it's not a city, is it? 16 00:00:22,830 --> 00:00:23,660 It can't be. 17 00:00:23,663 --> 00:00:25,163 - [Radio Presenter] I'm looking for the year. 18 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,410 - Oh, for 1957. 19 00:00:27,272 --> 00:00:30,242 - [Radio Presenter] I'm afraid the answer was 2002. 20 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,130 Congratulations, Stephen, you've won the meal for two. 21 00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:33,960 - [Stephen] Oh, amazing! 22 00:00:33,963 --> 00:00:35,423 - Absolute stitch-up. 23 00:00:35,421 --> 00:00:36,251 - [Radio Presenter] All the questions 24 00:00:36,254 --> 00:00:37,524 are written fairly, Warren. 25 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,360 - That's a load of total bollocks. 26 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:40,460 - [Radio Presenter] Ah, there's no need for that. 27 00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:41,620 Apologies, listeners. 28 00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:42,450 Now-- 29 00:00:42,453 --> 00:00:44,853 - I mean, what a ridiculous question. 30 00:00:44,850 --> 00:00:46,810 Did you know this place was a city? 31 00:00:46,810 --> 00:00:47,960 - Yeah, of course. 32 00:00:47,955 --> 00:00:49,325 - Well, why didn't you say anything? 33 00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,670 - Can I just go home now? 34 00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:52,890 My lesson ended, like, 25 minutes ago. 35 00:00:52,892 --> 00:00:54,362 - Yeah, all right. 36 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,190 City of Preston! 37 00:00:55,193 --> 00:00:57,263 I've heard it all now. 38 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,758 (happy music) 39 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,300 - Hello, love. 40 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:14,940 - Is Preston a city, yes or no? 41 00:01:16,170 --> 00:01:17,340 - Yeah, think so. 42 00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:19,219 - I mean, who's giving this place city status? 43 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,050 It's a shit hole. 44 00:01:20,053 --> 00:01:22,273 - Preston is beautiful, thank you very much. 45 00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:24,290 All you see is the ring road every day. 46 00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:26,470 - If you're gonna go on about how nice the bus station is, 47 00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:27,510 I don't want to hear it. 48 00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:30,330 - It's Grade-II listed, so is the railway station. 49 00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:31,160 - Interesting, isn't it? 50 00:01:31,163 --> 00:01:34,313 The only nice buildings in Preston are points of exit. 51 00:01:34,307 --> 00:01:35,607 Did Charlie get to the airport all right? 52 00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:37,410 - Yeah, I dropped him there this morning. 53 00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:39,360 Oh, he was so excited. 54 00:01:39,357 --> 00:01:44,177 When I got there, they were all dressed in Hawaiian shirts! 55 00:01:44,175 --> 00:01:45,495 (laughs) 56 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,160 Oh, it was ever so funny. 57 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,540 - Sounds hilarious. 58 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:49,920 - See you later, love. 59 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:50,870 - [Warren] Where are you going? 60 00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:53,270 - I've told you, Danny's parents evening. 61 00:01:53,270 --> 00:01:54,680 Are you sure you're not coming? 62 00:01:54,677 --> 00:01:56,717 - No, I told you, legally, he's nothing to do with me, 63 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,600 so it's probably against the rules. 64 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,780 Just not worth the risk. 65 00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,200 - I've left you a quiche in the fridge. 66 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,290 Make sure Danny eats 67 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,270 and doesn't just sit upstairs all night. 68 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,100 See you in a bit. 69 00:02:05,103 --> 00:02:06,253 - [Warren] All right, love. 70 00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:15,500 - Danny! 71 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,520 We're going out. 72 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:31,520 - Mrs Humphreys. 73 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:36,760 Hello, again. 74 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,590 How are you? 75 00:02:37,593 --> 00:02:38,863 - Yeah, fine, thanks. 76 00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:42,120 And you, are you having a nice evening? 77 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,100 - Yes, can't complain. 78 00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,650 - Oh, good, good, good to know. 79 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,020 - Is everything all right? 80 00:02:50,016 --> 00:02:53,046 - Oh, sorry, I get a bit nervous at these things. 81 00:02:53,050 --> 00:02:54,240 I never did too well at school, 82 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,120 so it brings back bad memories. 83 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:56,980 I used to get in trouble 84 00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:57,910 'cause I'd just sit at the back 85 00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:00,690 with Sandra Whedon passing love notes to Michael Price. 86 00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:02,450 - Well, you needn't be nervous. 87 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,820 - I didn't fancy him that much, 88 00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:05,070 but his dad owned a launderette 89 00:03:05,070 --> 00:03:07,670 and his clothes smelled ever so nice. 90 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:08,750 - Sure. 91 00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,110 Shall we crack on with Danny? 92 00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:11,970 - Oh, God, yeah, sorry. 93 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:14,290 - Well, Danny is one of our star pupils. 94 00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:15,790 He's a very bright young man. 95 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:18,460 - He must get that from his dad's side. 96 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,540 - He's kind, he's friendly, he's helpful. 97 00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:22,580 - Maybe not. 98 00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:25,530 - Although I am a little worried about him at the moment. 99 00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:26,980 His grades have dropped slightly 100 00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:28,870 over the past five or six weeks, 101 00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,850 and he seems a bit distracted. 102 00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:32,960 - Oh, no, that's not like him. 103 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:33,790 - No. 104 00:03:33,793 --> 00:03:35,923 Have you noticed any change in him at home? 105 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,030 - Well, I suppose he has seemed a bit out of sorts. 106 00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:40,450 But I just thought that was because 107 00:03:40,450 --> 00:03:42,620 my partner has started turning the Wi-Fi off 108 00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:44,640 after nine to save on electric. 109 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,830 - And does Danny get on well with your partner? 110 00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:49,090 - Oh, yeah, they get on ever so well. 111 00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:51,450 Danny loves spending time with him. 112 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,360 - How'd he miss from there? 113 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,380 He only had to stick his leg out! 114 00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,640 Oh, God, this game's awful. 115 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,870 Play the offside trap, you've all got to be on it, 116 00:04:05,874 --> 00:04:07,694 you know what I mean? 117 00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:09,510 - I don't really like football, Warren. 118 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:12,870 - Christ, you're hard work, Danny. 119 00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:13,700 - Sorry. 120 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:16,781 - Oh! 121 00:04:19,391 --> 00:04:20,691 The peas are still frozen. 122 00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:23,082 Oh! 123 00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:26,380 Oh, I'm so fed up. 124 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:27,830 - We could ask 'em to put something else on. 125 00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,453 - How has it ended up like this? 126 00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:31,620 Look at me, sat in a pub 127 00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:34,490 with a 14-year-old watching Scotland play. 128 00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:35,840 - I'm 15, actually. 129 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,263 - Do you know, all I ever wanted in life 130 00:04:37,257 --> 00:04:39,297 was a lovely little house in Dorset, 131 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,470 out of town, somewhere peaceful, 132 00:04:41,470 --> 00:04:43,480 nice new Mondeo on the drive, 133 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,390 a couple of little chickens running around the garden, 134 00:04:46,390 --> 00:04:49,330 maybe one of those garage doors that closes on its own. 135 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,600 Not too much to ask, is it? 136 00:04:52,599 --> 00:04:54,079 What do I end up with? 137 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,280 A divorced mother of two living in Preston. 138 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,470 - Can we go home soon, Warren? 139 00:04:58,470 --> 00:05:00,160 I've got a Call Of Duty tournament to play 140 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,780 before you turn the Wi-Fi off. 141 00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,000 - Yeah, of course you have. 142 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,300 If your mother asks, we had quiche for dinner. 143 00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:07,486 - I quite like quiche. 144 00:05:07,490 --> 00:05:09,810 - You can pick it out the bin if you're still hungry. 145 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,577 Did you know Preston was a city? 146 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,090 - Yeah, they changed it in 2002. 147 00:05:15,090 --> 00:05:17,560 - All right, Danny, nobody likes a smart arse. 148 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,750 Bloody hell, even the Queen did a walkabout. 149 00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,730 Poor Queen, imagine what was going through her head 150 00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:30,070 walking around this place. 151 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,280 You all right, love? 152 00:05:37,039 --> 00:05:38,679 - (sighs) Well a couple of teachers 153 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,760 mentioned that Danny's grades have been dropping, 154 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,110 and he's been a bit out of sorts. 155 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,710 How was he tonight? 156 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:45,540 - Bit quiet. 157 00:05:45,543 --> 00:05:48,113 But to be honest, he's not great company anyway. 158 00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:49,250 - Tried to have a word with him, 159 00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,100 but he just said everything were fine. 160 00:05:51,098 --> 00:05:53,058 - There you go, then. 161 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,660 - I was thinking, maybe you could have a word with him. 162 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:57,487 - Oh, no way. 163 00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,010 Well, you two get on, maybe he'll chat with you, 164 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,470 man-to-man sort of thing. 165 00:06:01,473 --> 00:06:02,983 - No, get Charlie to do it, 166 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:05,110 or send him next door to Ian, he likes Ian. 167 00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:06,940 - Please, Warren, just have a little word with him, 168 00:06:06,943 --> 00:06:09,613 see if you can find out what's up. 169 00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,820 It might be serious. 170 00:06:11,816 --> 00:06:15,606 (gasps) He might have started taking drugs! 171 00:06:15,610 --> 00:06:17,110 - Oh, calm down, Anne! 172 00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,810 I'll have a word with him tomorrow after work, 173 00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:21,650 if that'll put your mind at rest. 174 00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:22,940 - Okay. 175 00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:23,770 Thanks, love. 176 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,750 - Hey, how was the quiche? 177 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:33,270 - Cracking, yeah, really hit the spot. 178 00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:34,110 - Oh, good! 179 00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:36,250 Well, they were on offer, so the freezer's full of 'em. 180 00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:37,732 You can have the same tomorrow as well. 181 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,560 - Lovely. 182 00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,172 - And then they said it'll take off in an hour, 183 00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:49,540 and gave us a voucher for three pound. 184 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:50,790 I said, three pound? 185 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,760 That won't even get us coffee! 186 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,270 Anyway, we went back to the lounge, 187 00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:56,480 Murray had a bacon roll, I just went for a latte. 188 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,322 - Oh! 189 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,290 - Well, the bacon roll on its own was three pound, 30, 190 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:02,500 so I'm down 30p before I've even started my holiday! 191 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,620 Anyway, we went back an hour later, and lo and behold, 192 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:09,020 the flight was delayed, so Murray hit the roof. 193 00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,130 - Hang on, where are you going? 194 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,980 - Oh, is it all right to drop me off at home today? 195 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,290 I'm not working this week. 196 00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:15,480 - I'm not a bloody taxi service, love. 197 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,330 - But it's just up there on the left, you can see it there. 198 00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:21,580 Anyway, Murray nearly causes a bloody riot, 199 00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:22,410 comes down-- 200 00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:23,453 - I didn't know you lived on a farm. 201 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,280 Oh, yes, Murray's been a farmer all his life. 202 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,520 - Is it a working farm? 203 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:27,350 - Yeah, it's got the lot. 204 00:07:27,353 --> 00:07:29,393 Cows, sheep, pigs, couple of horses, 205 00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:30,820 few chickens, fish pond. 206 00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:33,290 - Oh, yeah, I've always fancied having chickens. 207 00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:35,440 My mum and dad used to keep 'em when I was a kid. 208 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,210 - Fresh eggs every morning, can't beat it. 209 00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,170 And they cost nothing to keep either, chickens. 210 00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:42,060 Pay for themselves in a couple of weeks. 211 00:07:42,056 --> 00:07:43,276 Now where was I? 212 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,600 Oh, so Murray demands that Stelios-- 213 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,900 - Never mind Stelios, 214 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,820 tell me a bit more about these chickens. 215 00:07:52,027 --> 00:07:53,037 Anne! 216 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,130 - In the kitchen. 217 00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:55,048 - Guess what? 218 00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:56,400 I bought a chicken. 219 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,230 - You've done what? 220 00:07:57,233 --> 00:07:58,473 - I've bought a chicken! 221 00:07:58,470 --> 00:07:59,300 - Why? 222 00:07:59,303 --> 00:08:01,813 - Think of all the lovely fresh eggs we'll have. 223 00:08:01,805 --> 00:08:04,285 Better than all that supermarket shite. 224 00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:05,510 - But where are you gonna put it? 225 00:08:05,507 --> 00:08:07,887 - Gonna put it in our bedroom. 226 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:09,030 Where do you think I'm gonna put it? 227 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,720 I'm gonna make a pen. 228 00:08:10,716 --> 00:08:12,666 - You were supposed to be talking to Danny. 229 00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:14,410 He came out of his room this morning, 230 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,110 and his eyes were all red. 231 00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:18,020 I'm worried it might be drugs after all. 232 00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:19,510 - Anne, have a day off. 233 00:08:19,510 --> 00:08:21,040 You're talking about Danny. 234 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,580 - But why were his eyes red? 235 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:25,600 - Don't know, probably been blowing his clarinet too hard. 236 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,430 - Will you speak to him today? 237 00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:28,750 - Yeah, he can help me build the pen. 238 00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,550 He'll love all this. 239 00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:31,400 Danny, come here! 240 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,230 I want ya! 241 00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,510 - Did Warren just call me? 242 00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,440 - He's in the garden. 243 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,840 He's bought a chicken, love. 244 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:43,560 - Oh, right. 245 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,750 - No, I think he wants you to go and help him. 246 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,110 - [Warren] Danny, come here! 247 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,540 - Oh, Mum, do I have to? 248 00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,170 - I think it'd mean a lot, yeah. 249 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,550 I've not seen him this excited 250 00:08:51,550 --> 00:08:54,160 since that student accidentally paid him twice. 251 00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:57,120 Come and give your old mum a cuddle. 252 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,779 Aw! 253 00:08:58,783 --> 00:09:01,033 (sniffing) 254 00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:04,853 (chuckles) 255 00:09:06,762 --> 00:09:09,552 - I told you that old rabbit hutch would come in handy. 256 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,450 Your mother was always on at me to chuck it. 257 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,330 It's good wood, that is. 258 00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,163 Oi, not so rough with that netting! 259 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,740 - Doesn't it need a proper coop, Warren? 260 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:19,030 - Oh, suddenly he's Chris Packham. 261 00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:20,830 All it needs is a bit to run around in, 262 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,980 somewhere to have a kip, and somewhere to lay me an egg. 263 00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,041 - What are you gonna name it? 264 00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:27,409 I'm not gonna bloody name it, it's a chicken. 265 00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:29,690 - I didn't know if you wanted to. 266 00:09:29,687 --> 00:09:31,487 - You want me to take it for walks as well? 267 00:09:31,490 --> 00:09:32,320 - Ow! 268 00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:34,233 - Quiet, you're frightening it! 269 00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:36,150 - Warren, that's the third splinter I've got now! 270 00:09:36,147 --> 00:09:38,157 "Oh, that's the third splinter I've got now." 271 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,020 Go inside and ask your mum for some gloves, 272 00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:41,380 you tiny little girl. 273 00:09:45,091 --> 00:09:46,561 - Oh, what's going on here, then? 274 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,040 Building an extension? 275 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,550 - Oh, that's very good, Ian, as usual. 276 00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,360 No, I'm putting up a chicken run. 277 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,190 - A chicken run? 278 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,033 Why? 279 00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,026 - Why do you think, you tit? 280 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,260 I bought a chicken. 281 00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:59,177 - You can't keep chickens in a suburban garden! 282 00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,640 Think of the noise pollution. 283 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,470 - Here we go. 284 00:10:01,473 --> 00:10:02,803 It's not Foghorn Leghorn. 285 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,060 It's one little chicken. 286 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,380 - And it'll attract rats. 287 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:08,530 It's a well-known fact that chickens attract vermin. 288 00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:10,210 This place will be awash by sunrise. 289 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,350 - Yeah, tell you what, mate, you look after your garden, 290 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,430 and I'll look after mine. 291 00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:14,260 - Where are you going? 292 00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:17,103 You're not just gonna leave it unattended like that? 293 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,920 - Oh, shut up, you bell-end. 294 00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:23,480 - So how's it going? 295 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,720 - Oh, yeah, she's settling in, no problem. 296 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,490 - Not the chicken, Warren, Danny! 297 00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,520 Did you speak to him? 298 00:10:29,517 --> 00:10:30,507 - Oh, no, not yet. 299 00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:31,370 - Why not? 300 00:10:31,370 --> 00:10:32,500 You said you would. 301 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,920 - Well, what exactly do you want me to say to him? 302 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,210 Your mum thinks you're a crackhead, 303 00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:37,520 could you smile a bit more? 304 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,560 - Oh, for goodness' sake, just go upstairs 305 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,680 and try and find out if there's anything wrong. 306 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:42,510 - Probably up there now 307 00:10:42,513 --> 00:10:45,043 trying to flog his clarinet to pay for his next fix. 308 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,140 - Now, or that chicken's going back! 309 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,360 - That's not even funny, Anne. 310 00:11:00,853 --> 00:11:02,333 You all right? 311 00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:04,580 - Oh, sorry, I was just finishing some homework. 312 00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:06,003 - Oh, no worries. 313 00:11:08,095 --> 00:11:09,145 Can I sit on the bed? 314 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,160 - Yeah, if you want. 315 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,590 - Oh! 316 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,960 Big, isn't it? Space. 317 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,240 Not for me, I'm all right here. 318 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,250 - Warren, what's going on? 319 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,750 - Oh, for Christ's sake. 320 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,450 Listen, your mother's worried about you. 321 00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:27,780 She went to your parents evening, 322 00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:28,610 and your teachers said 323 00:11:28,613 --> 00:11:30,623 your grades were dropping or something. 324 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,170 - Not really, I got an A instead of an A star in maths, 325 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,000 but that was it. 326 00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:34,843 - Oh, bloody hell. 327 00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:36,236 The way your mother was going on, 328 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,177 I thought you were turning into Forrest Gump. 329 00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:39,170 Christ. 330 00:11:39,170 --> 00:11:41,130 - Um Warren? 331 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:41,960 - Yeah? 332 00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:43,383 - Could I ask you something, actually? 333 00:11:43,381 --> 00:11:44,391 - Its not about your homework, is it? 334 00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:45,220 'Cause I can't help you there, mate. 335 00:11:45,223 --> 00:11:47,873 - No, no, it's not school-related. 336 00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:48,900 It's a bit personal. 337 00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:51,830 - You don't want me to have a look at? 338 00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,170 - No, no, nothing like that. 339 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,930 - Thank Christ for that. 340 00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:55,760 What's up, then? 341 00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,330 - Promise you won't say anything to Mum? 342 00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:01,230 - Yeah, I promise. 343 00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:05,550 - It's just, there is something on my mind. 344 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,400 - [Warren] Right. 345 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,800 - Warren. 346 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,950 - [Warren] Yeah? 347 00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,050 - I'm in love. 348 00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:13,297 (laughing) 349 00:12:14,482 --> 00:12:15,322 - I'm sorry. 350 00:12:15,315 --> 00:12:16,145 - It's not funny! 351 00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:17,915 - I'm sorry. 352 00:12:17,918 --> 00:12:20,828 I'm sorry, mate, I just wasn't expecting you to say that. 353 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,420 Go on. 354 00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:24,610 Who is she? 355 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:25,880 It is a she, isn't it? 356 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,710 - Yeah. 357 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,373 - Yeah, only I wondered with the clarinet and stuff. 358 00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:30,810 Go on. 359 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:31,730 - Her name's Jenny. 360 00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,870 She's in the year above me at school. 361 00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:35,810 She works weekends in the supermarket, 362 00:12:35,810 --> 00:12:37,970 and she does drama for her GCSEs. 363 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,350 - Right. 364 00:12:40,353 --> 00:12:41,693 - Well, that's it. 365 00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,320 - So what's your problem? 366 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,910 - Well, what do I do? 367 00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,010 - Have you spoken to her? 368 00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:46,840 - No. 369 00:12:46,843 --> 00:12:49,013 Well, once, yeah, but that was just 'cause 370 00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:50,980 she jumped in front of me in the dinner queue. 371 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:51,980 - What happened? 372 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,500 - She just said, "Can I go in front of you?" 373 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,140 - Right, what did you say? 374 00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:57,637 - "Yeah." 375 00:12:57,635 --> 00:12:59,665 - Oh, sounds like you're off to a flyer. 376 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:01,570 A real whirlwind romance. 377 00:13:01,570 --> 00:13:02,770 - I'm wasting my time, aren't I? 378 00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:05,740 - No, you're not, just go up to her and ask her out. 379 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,460 Girls like a bit of confidence. 380 00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:08,660 - I'm scared, though. 381 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:11,000 - You've got nothing to be scared of. 382 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,130 I'll drive you to go and see her at work tomorrow. 383 00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:13,960 - No! 384 00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:16,373 - Mate, you can sit there and worry about 385 00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:18,070 what would have happened for the rest of your life, 386 00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:21,610 or you can grow a pair of conkers and just ask her out. 387 00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,480 - You reckon? 388 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,540 - Yeah, we'll get you looking all smart, 389 00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:26,600 she won't know what hit her. 390 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,930 - Okay. 391 00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:28,760 Thanks, Warren. 392 00:13:28,763 --> 00:13:29,603 - Yeah. 393 00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:32,456 Mum's the word, eh? 394 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,080 Now, are you gonna sit there on your arse all day, 395 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,450 or are you gonna come and help me build this chicken coop? 396 00:13:47,277 --> 00:13:49,857 All right, hang on, I'm coming! 397 00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:52,770 Oh, what now? 398 00:13:52,770 --> 00:13:55,490 - Warren, that chicken kept us up all night. 399 00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:58,130 The noise is absolutely unbearable. 400 00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,080 - What bloody noise? 401 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,140 - The constant clucking. 402 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,570 - Is this a wind-up? 403 00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:04,490 - It's keeping the whole neighborhood awake. 404 00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:07,220 They weren't designed to be kept in quiet cul-de-sacs. 405 00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:08,610 - Right, come with me. 406 00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:09,440 - What? 407 00:14:09,443 --> 00:14:10,543 - Come on, we'll have a listen. 408 00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:21,340 - Where? 409 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:28,279 - There. 410 00:14:28,282 --> 00:14:29,962 - And that's keeping you awake, is it? 411 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,850 - Well, I didn't know when I purchased my house 412 00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:33,520 I'd be living next to a farmyard. 413 00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:34,637 - All right, well, I'll have a word with her, 414 00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:35,482 how about that? 415 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,005 I'll ask her to keep it down for you. 416 00:14:37,007 --> 00:14:39,867 - And I think you owe my wife an apology as well. 417 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,270 Terrified of chickens. 418 00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:42,630 She's scared to leave the house. 419 00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:45,090 - Funny, even though she married a complete cock? 420 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,890 You cluck all you want, my darling. 421 00:14:54,490 --> 00:14:55,500 - The more I think about it, 422 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,980 the more I reckon it is drugs, you know. 423 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,700 Did he say anything to you yesterday? 424 00:14:58,700 --> 00:14:59,530 - What, about drugs? 425 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:00,373 - Yes! 426 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:01,786 I was watching a show on Channel Five last night 427 00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:04,250 about teenage drug addicts in Great Yarmouth. 428 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,880 They said telltale signs were finding home-made bongs 429 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:07,710 in the bedroom. 430 00:15:07,713 --> 00:15:09,553 - Did you find a home-made bong in his bedroom? 431 00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:10,690 - No, but I did find 432 00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:12,220 the socks my mum gave him for Christmas, 433 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:13,440 still in the bloody wrapper. 434 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,630 - Christ. 435 00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:17,010 He's hardly Keith Richards, though, is he? 436 00:15:17,012 --> 00:15:18,942 I'm gonna sort it all out today, Anne, 437 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:20,650 I've got it all in hand, all right? 438 00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:22,040 - Yeah. - Yeah. 439 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,170 What do you reckon to the name Maude? 440 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,810 You think she looks like a Maude? 441 00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:27,680 - I knew a woman once called Maude 442 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,050 who worked up on the industrial estate. 443 00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:31,230 She found a lump in the March, 444 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,860 and they gave her three months to live. 445 00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:33,950 She was robbed of another hour 446 00:15:33,953 --> 00:15:36,303 when the clocks went forward a week later. 447 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,270 Such a shame! 448 00:15:37,274 --> 00:15:38,444 (playful music) 449 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,440 - Maude it is, then. 450 00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:47,210 Hands out your pockets. 451 00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:49,040 Right, that's it. 452 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:49,870 You look fine. 453 00:15:49,873 --> 00:15:50,713 You ready? 454 00:15:50,706 --> 00:15:51,536 - Yep. 455 00:15:51,539 --> 00:15:53,609 - Okay, just take something up to buy, anything will do. 456 00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:55,720 - Tampons? 457 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,550 - Yeah, make you look 458 00:15:56,553 --> 00:15:58,383 more in tune with a woman's needs, won't it? 459 00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,990 - Who would I be buying them for? 460 00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:00,820 - Your mum. 461 00:16:00,823 --> 00:16:02,433 - Who buys tampons for their mum? 462 00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:04,950 - I don't bloody know, stop reading into things. 463 00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:06,960 You take that up to her till, put it down, 464 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,870 compliment her, say you're at school with her or whatever, 465 00:16:08,870 --> 00:16:10,690 then ask for her number, all right? 466 00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:11,520 - Yep. 467 00:16:11,523 --> 00:16:13,073 - You'll be fine, just be yourself. 468 00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:13,900 - Yep. - Okay. 469 00:16:13,903 --> 00:16:15,543 Now, which one is she? 470 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:16,800 - Brown hair, till five. 471 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,960 - Alright, get in the car. 472 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:22,790 - What? 473 00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:23,633 - Car, now, go. 474 00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:24,456 - I thought-- - Car! 475 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,310 - What was all that about? 476 00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:28,610 - Danny, what I'm about to say to you 477 00:16:28,610 --> 00:16:30,570 is for your own good, Okay? 478 00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:31,400 - Right. 479 00:16:31,403 --> 00:16:32,893 - You've got no chance. 480 00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:35,590 That girl in there is like the Manchester United of girls, 481 00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:38,750 and you are, at best, Wigan Athletic. 482 00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,200 - Warren, you know I don't like football. 483 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,430 - Oh, for Christ's sake, Danny, 484 00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:44,610 she's far too good-looking for you, all right? 485 00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:45,440 - You said I look-- 486 00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:46,283 - Forget what I said. 487 00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:47,216 There's no way I'm gonna let you 488 00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,370 humiliate yourself by asking out a girl 489 00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,020 who's miles out of your league. 490 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,210 Won't do your self-confidence any good at all. 491 00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:54,310 Put your seat belt on. 492 00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:58,820 You tried your best, but it just wasn't meant to be. 493 00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:08,210 Four days I've had her, and nothing. 494 00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:09,940 Not one single egg. 495 00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:10,770 - Really? 496 00:17:10,773 --> 00:17:11,613 That's weird. 497 00:17:11,606 --> 00:17:12,996 Sometimes they get like that. 498 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,460 Did I tell you about my friend Norman-- 499 00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:16,360 You've sold me a barren chicken! 500 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,640 That's what's happened. 501 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,620 You pulled a fast one! 502 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,510 - There's nothing wrong with that chicken. 503 00:17:20,510 --> 00:17:22,260 She's probably just stressed or something. 504 00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:23,740 - Stressed? 505 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,610 She's not doing her 11 plus, love. 506 00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:27,210 I've set her up like a queen out there. 507 00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:28,430 She's doing better than I am! 508 00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:30,080 - Yes, but if they feel uncomfortable 509 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,860 or worried about anything, they won't lay. 510 00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:33,920 - Oh, right, so I'll book her in 511 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,130 with a shrink, then, shall I? 512 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:37,080 - She probably just misses her friends. 513 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,650 They're sociable animals, chickens are. 514 00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:41,180 - All right, so I've got to take her on play dates as well? 515 00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:43,410 - No, but they don't like to be on their own. 516 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,910 They always lay better when there's a few of them. 517 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,160 - She probably just needs a bit of company, you know. 518 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,440 They're sociable animals, Anne. 519 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,590 - I don't know if we have the room, Warren. 520 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,890 - Maude, come and meet your new friends! 521 00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:03,170 Maude? 522 00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:05,240 Maude? 523 00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:10,120 - Oh, Warren, I think she's made a run for it. 524 00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:12,515 - Oh, no, that's the bloody foxes! 525 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,160 The fox has got her! 526 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,920 I told Danny to double up on the fencing! 527 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,713 - Sorry, love. 528 00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:21,600 - [Ian] Oi, get out of here. 529 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,010 - There she is! 530 00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:25,490 - Get your chicken off of my property! 531 00:18:25,490 --> 00:18:26,480 It's attacking me. 532 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,930 - Stop doing that, you're frightening her! 533 00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:28,973 - Look at its claws! 534 00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:30,190 It'll have someone's eye out with them. 535 00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:32,280 - Just pick her up and give her back to me. 536 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,110 - I'm not touching it. 537 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,403 They're ridden with disease. 538 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,460 - For God's sake, Ian, it's just a little chicken. 539 00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,590 - Be gentle with her! 540 00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:39,610 He's upset her. 541 00:18:39,606 --> 00:18:41,186 - Careful, Paula, it went for me. 542 00:18:41,193 --> 00:18:42,773 - Aye, you're brave, Paula. 543 00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:45,470 Ian said you wouldn't come out of the house because of her. 544 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,947 - Oh, no, you're fine, I love animals, me. 545 00:18:47,954 --> 00:18:48,834 Come here, love. 546 00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,364 - [Paula] There you go, Warren, love. 547 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,330 - There we go, come on, baby. 548 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,820 - No, Ian's the one with the little chicken phobia. 549 00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:56,220 When he were eight, his family lost him in a farmyard. 550 00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,030 - Oh, dear, poor thing. 551 00:18:58,030 --> 00:18:59,510 - They found him two hours later 552 00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:01,410 wedged under the nest boxes. 553 00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:02,850 They didn't even recognisz him at first, 554 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,610 he was covered in that much shit. 555 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:05,440 - Oh. 556 00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:07,720 - Ooh, I know. 557 00:19:08,883 --> 00:19:10,493 - More of them? 558 00:19:10,491 --> 00:19:11,321 - [Warren] In you go. 559 00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,164 She's keen. 560 00:19:12,157 --> 00:19:12,997 What's wrong with you? 561 00:19:12,996 --> 00:19:13,896 You trying to kill me? 562 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,460 - Just go inside, Ian. 563 00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:21,600 - I'm going to cycle to Lewis', Mum, see you later. 564 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,360 - Put your helmet on, love, please. 565 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,040 Oh, I'm so worried, Warren. 566 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,270 - I'll just whack a bit of extra fencing on there, 567 00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:30,800 it'll be all right. 568 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,640 - Not about the chickens, for God's sake! 569 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,470 About Danny. 570 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,013 Where did you both go earlier? 571 00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:36,410 He seems worse than ever. 572 00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,860 - Oh, he made me promise not to say anything. 573 00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:41,120 - Oh, my God, did he take you to his drug dealer? 574 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:41,950 - No! 575 00:19:41,953 --> 00:19:43,223 - Oh, God, we'll have to send him to rehab. 576 00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:44,230 Shall I call the Priory? 577 00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,030 - All right, all right, if you insist, 578 00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:49,010 he's been acting weird because he likes a girl. 579 00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:50,390 - A girl? - Yeah. 580 00:19:50,393 --> 00:19:51,323 - Is that it? 581 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,570 - Yeah, but don't say anything to him, 582 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,510 or he'll know I told you. 583 00:19:54,505 --> 00:19:55,775 - Who is she? 584 00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:56,890 - Oh, well, Jenny's her name. 585 00:19:56,890 --> 00:19:58,250 She's a year above him at school, 586 00:19:58,250 --> 00:19:59,880 and she does the tills at weekends. 587 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,540 - Oh, Jenny Humphreys, I can see it now! 588 00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:03,700 Yeah, well, that's where you're wrong, 589 00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:04,860 I told him not to bother. 590 00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:06,240 - Eh? Why? 591 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,330 - Well, we went to go and see her, 592 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,330 and she's way too good-looking for him. 593 00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,650 He hasn't got a chance. 594 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:13,230 - You didn't actually say that to him, though, did you? 595 00:20:13,230 --> 00:20:14,620 - I told him the truth, Anne. 596 00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:15,900 Set his sights a bit lower. 597 00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,790 There's plenty of other fish in the sea. 598 00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:19,730 They're just not such good-looking fish, 599 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:23,100 like a pollock or a grouper. 600 00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,610 - Right, the minute he gets home, 601 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,920 you are gonna go and tell him he can get any girl he likes. 602 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:27,881 - Well, I'm not gonna lie to him. 603 00:20:27,883 --> 00:20:29,883 - Warren, you need to put this right! 604 00:20:31,550 --> 00:20:32,900 - She's not blind, Anne! 605 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,370 All right, girls? 606 00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:00,850 - Warren? 607 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,970 What are you doing? 608 00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:05,570 - I'm looking out for the foxes. 609 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,850 - Okay, 'night. 610 00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:11,199 - Dan, before you go, sit down for a minute. 611 00:21:20,577 --> 00:21:22,307 I've been thinking. 612 00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:25,030 I was wrong to say what I said about Jenny. 613 00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:26,480 I reckon you should go for it. 614 00:21:26,477 --> 00:21:27,717 - No, you were right. 615 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,300 She is too good-looking for me. 616 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:34,160 - No, she's not, you're a good, all right-looking lad. 617 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,520 You can do it. 618 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:36,510 - I'm not sure. 619 00:21:36,510 --> 00:21:37,930 - Well, why don't I take you down there tomorrow, 620 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,690 see if she's working? 621 00:21:39,686 --> 00:21:41,246 - At least you can ask her. 622 00:21:42,195 --> 00:21:43,735 - And you don't think I'll embarrass myself? 623 00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:45,360 - No! 624 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,420 Not at all. 625 00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:52,240 Just try not to take it personally, whatever it is she says. 626 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,430 You know, however nasty her comments are, 627 00:21:55,430 --> 00:22:00,000 or however horrified she looks, just you remember, 628 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,400 you've always got your clarinet to fall back on. 629 00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:05,250 - Thanks, Warren. 630 00:22:07,652 --> 00:22:08,492 'Night. 631 00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:12,980 (comical music) 632 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:15,535 - Hopeless. 633 00:22:23,185 --> 00:22:24,735 - I don't know, Warren, maybe this is a bad idea. 634 00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:26,180 Maybe I am aiming too high. 635 00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:27,010 - What? No! 636 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,450 Although, what about that nice redhead on number three? 637 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,610 Oh, sweet Jesus! 638 00:22:34,610 --> 00:22:36,480 - Let's just go home. 639 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,350 - No! 640 00:22:37,350 --> 00:22:41,860 Danny, sometimes in life, you've just got to take a risk. 641 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:42,690 - Really? 642 00:22:42,693 --> 00:22:44,813 - Yeah, I took a risk when I asked your mother out. 643 00:22:44,810 --> 00:22:46,080 - Was she out of your league? 644 00:22:46,081 --> 00:22:47,281 - What? No chance. 645 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,010 I didn't know how the whole kids thing would work out. 646 00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:51,940 I was nervous before I met you two, 647 00:22:52,810 --> 00:22:54,210 and then I grew to like you. 648 00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,120 Well, not Charlie, really, but you're all right. 649 00:22:58,121 --> 00:22:59,131 - I'm not sure. 650 00:22:59,130 --> 00:23:02,030 - Listen, I didn't piss a liter and a half of unleaded 651 00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:03,800 up against the wall bringing you here twice 652 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,360 for you to wimp out now. 653 00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,080 Get in there, go on! 654 00:23:28,651 --> 00:23:29,481 - Text me? 655 00:23:29,484 --> 00:23:30,714 - Yeah, yeah sure. 656 00:23:30,708 --> 00:23:31,538 See you. 657 00:23:38,468 --> 00:23:40,918 She wants to hang out after school on Monday! 658 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,350 - Do you think she's simple or something? 659 00:23:43,350 --> 00:23:45,520 Danny, if this turns out to be a big practical joke, 660 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,920 you've got to promise me you won't get too upset, all right? 661 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,970 Oh, you're kidding me! 662 00:23:50,970 --> 00:23:54,300 (playfully tense music) 663 00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:13,092 - He shouldn't be long. 664 00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:14,315 - What the bloody hell's going on? 665 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,400 - Oh, Warren, love, this is Amanda from the RSPCA. 666 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,040 - I'm afraid we had an anonymous tip-off 667 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,010 suggesting that chickens were being mistreated 668 00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:21,840 at this address. 669 00:24:21,843 --> 00:24:22,683 - Oh, did you? 670 00:24:22,676 --> 00:24:24,206 - So obviously, we had to come and investigate. 671 00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:25,040 - Listen, love, 672 00:24:25,043 --> 00:24:27,333 these chickens are treated like bloody royalty. 673 00:24:27,330 --> 00:24:28,180 - Sir, I never thought-- 674 00:24:28,183 --> 00:24:30,513 - They get organic feed, they got clean water, 675 00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:31,610 they got a heat lamp. 676 00:24:31,610 --> 00:24:32,880 - He's even wired up a radio 677 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,500 so they can listen to Classic FM at night. 678 00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:35,490 - [Warren] To help them unwind. 679 00:24:35,490 --> 00:24:36,330 - Yeah, I can see-- 680 00:24:36,330 --> 00:24:39,330 - There is absolutely no way you are taking my girls off me. 681 00:24:39,330 --> 00:24:41,510 It'll be over my dead body. 682 00:24:41,510 --> 00:24:42,500 - I was just going to say 683 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,600 that these chickens are treated very well. 684 00:24:46,164 --> 00:24:47,334 - Oh, right, yeah. 685 00:24:47,332 --> 00:24:48,172 Well, they are. 686 00:24:48,165 --> 00:24:49,915 - It's a good-sized pen, 687 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,790 they're relaxed, they seem very happy. 688 00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:52,790 - Mm. - My only concern 689 00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:54,990 is that they've got a small case of bumble foot. 690 00:24:54,990 --> 00:24:56,810 Nothing too serious, but you'll need the vet 691 00:24:56,810 --> 00:24:59,790 to give them a once over and supply them some treatment. 692 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,300 - How much is that going cost? 693 00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:03,830 - Not much, probably 200 pounds. 694 00:25:09,912 --> 00:25:11,152 - Get out, you muppets. 695 00:25:11,152 --> 00:25:11,992 Go on! 696 00:25:13,384 --> 00:25:15,384 You can bloody keep 'em! 697 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,660 Anonymous tip-off, my arse. 698 00:25:22,660 --> 00:25:23,630 Tosser! 699 00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:25,240 - Just let it go now, love. 700 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,340 - I bet it was him that put them off laying as well, 701 00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:29,280 staring at them out of his window all day'd 702 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,830 put anyone off their stride. 703 00:25:30,826 --> 00:25:31,656 (Danny laughing) 704 00:25:31,659 --> 00:25:33,979 All right, Danny, give it a rest, she can't be that funny. 705 00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:34,810 - Sorry. 706 00:25:39,980 --> 00:25:42,120 - So she just gave him her number? 707 00:25:42,115 --> 00:25:43,475 - Yeah, he walked up, bold as brass, 708 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,010 and she just gave him her number, just like that. 709 00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:47,850 - Oh, isn't it lovely, to be young and in love again? 710 00:25:47,850 --> 00:25:49,870 - I don't get what she sees in him. 711 00:25:49,870 --> 00:25:51,330 - People say the same to me. 712 00:25:51,328 --> 00:25:52,818 - What? (Anne chuckles) 713 00:25:52,819 --> 00:25:53,649 - [Charlie] Hello? 714 00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:54,672 - Oh, me boy's home! 715 00:25:54,670 --> 00:25:55,500 - Oh, God. 716 00:26:00,988 --> 00:26:01,818 Oh, Anne! 717 00:26:06,782 --> 00:26:09,332 Ah. (chuckles) 718 00:26:09,327 --> 00:26:10,687 - [Anne] Oh, my baby! 719 00:26:10,690 --> 00:26:11,990 How was it? 720 00:26:11,990 --> 00:26:13,360 - Oh, not so tight! 721 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:14,710 - Oh, you look tanned. 722 00:26:14,710 --> 00:26:16,990 - Yeah, I fell asleep by the pool on the first day, 723 00:26:16,990 --> 00:26:18,400 forgot to put sun cream on. 724 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,400 Doctor at the resort said I had third degree burns. 725 00:26:20,404 --> 00:26:21,244 - Oh, love! 726 00:26:21,237 --> 00:26:22,867 - Yeah, well, I've got some exciting news! 727 00:26:22,870 --> 00:26:23,710 - So have I. 728 00:26:23,710 --> 00:26:25,520 Danny's got a girlfriend. 729 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:26,350 - What? 730 00:26:26,353 --> 00:26:28,403 - She's not my girlfriend yet, we're just texting. 731 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,590 - Oh, and Warren bought a couple of chickens, 732 00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:31,370 but he's got rid of them now. 733 00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:32,662 - Bloody hell, I've only been gone a week. 734 00:26:32,660 --> 00:26:33,810 - What's your news? 735 00:26:33,810 --> 00:26:34,640 - I got this. 736 00:26:35,796 --> 00:26:39,336 - Oh, good God, Charlie, that's horrendous! 737 00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:41,090 What on Earth did you get that for? 738 00:26:41,090 --> 00:26:42,550 - We all got one. 739 00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:44,610 Well, we were going to, I went first, 740 00:26:44,610 --> 00:26:46,380 and then the others saw mine and didn't bother. 741 00:26:46,380 --> 00:26:48,840 - God knows what Warren's going to say. 742 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,620 - You know Preston's a city, don't ya? 743 00:26:50,624 --> 00:26:51,894 - Yeah, all right. 744 00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:52,890 Where is Warren? 745 00:26:52,885 --> 00:26:54,335 (Warren exclaims) 746 00:26:54,342 --> 00:26:57,012 (playful music) 747 00:27:01,073 --> 00:27:03,573 - Have some of that, you twat! 748 00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:07,550 - [Radio Presenter] So remember, you're playing 749 00:27:07,547 --> 00:27:09,777 for the half-price MOT at Kwik-Fit. 750 00:27:09,780 --> 00:27:11,830 Stacey, how many inches in a foot? 751 00:27:11,833 --> 00:27:12,673 - [Stacey] 12. 752 00:27:12,666 --> 00:27:13,496 - [Radio Presenter] Correct. 753 00:27:13,499 --> 00:27:16,009 Warren, what is the first letter of the Greek alphabet? 754 00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:17,390 - Oh, Jesus. 755 00:27:17,390 --> 00:27:18,660 - [Radio Presenter] I'm gonna have to hurry you. 756 00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:19,560 - Alpha. 757 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:20,390 - [Radio Presenter] Correct. 758 00:27:20,393 --> 00:27:22,683 Stacey, who is Prince Charles married to? 759 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,150 - [Stacey] Oh, what's her name? 760 00:27:24,150 --> 00:27:25,720 Not Diana, the other one. 761 00:27:25,721 --> 00:27:27,331 - [Warren] You've got to take her first answer! 762 00:27:27,332 --> 00:27:29,202 - [Radio Presenter] Quiet, please, Warren. 763 00:27:29,201 --> 00:27:30,911 - [Stacey] The one that wears that posh coat. 764 00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,400 - [Radio Presenter] You're nearly there, Stacey. 765 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,710 - Are you gonna hurry her up or what? 766 00:27:34,710 --> 00:27:37,370 - [Stacey] Darren, who's married to Charles? 767 00:27:37,370 --> 00:27:39,050 - She's bloody conferring! 768 00:27:39,050 --> 00:27:40,190 - [Radio Presenter] Warren, quiet, please. 769 00:27:40,190 --> 00:27:42,070 - [Stacey] Priscilla, Priscilla Parker-Bowl. 770 00:27:43,420 --> 00:27:44,780 - [Radio Presenter] I will accept that. 771 00:27:44,780 --> 00:27:46,310 - That's not even right! 772 00:27:46,310 --> 00:27:47,140 - [Radio Presenter] Warren, what is 773 00:27:47,143 --> 00:27:48,303 Michael Caine's real name? 774 00:27:49,490 --> 00:27:50,960 - Maurice Micklewhite. 775 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:51,790 - [Radio Presenter] Correct. 776 00:27:51,793 --> 00:27:53,703 Stacey, what is the capital of Edinburgh? 777 00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:54,920 I mean, Scotland. 778 00:27:54,915 --> 00:27:55,875 - [Stacey] Edinburgh? 779 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:56,710 - [Radio Presenter] Correct. 780 00:27:56,713 --> 00:27:58,303 - You just gave her the bloody answer! 781 00:27:58,300 --> 00:28:00,280 - [Radio Presenter] Right well, I'm sure she knew it anyway. 782 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,840 Warren, in what year was Preston's beautiful Grade-II listed 783 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:04,880 bus station completed? 784 00:28:04,881 --> 00:28:06,271 - Oh, er... 785 00:28:06,270 --> 00:28:07,810 - [Radio Presenter] I'll have to hurry you! 786 00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:09,752 - 1967, nine! 787 00:28:10,621 --> 00:28:11,591 '69! 788 00:28:11,590 --> 00:28:12,420 - [Radio Presenter] I'm afraid I have to take 789 00:28:12,423 --> 00:28:13,653 your first answer. 790 00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:15,160 - It's 1969, it's 1969. 791 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,270 - [Radio Presenter] Your first answer was 1967, 792 00:28:17,270 --> 00:28:20,430 which means that, Stacey, you have won the quiz. 793 00:28:20,430 --> 00:28:21,320 - Oh, for-- 794 00:28:21,323 --> 00:28:22,503 (truck horn blares) 795 00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:25,170 (playful music) 52873

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