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1
00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:03,460
- Alvin, Simon, Theodore.
2
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:05,051
- [Radio Presenter]
That's correct, Warren.
3
00:00:05,051 --> 00:00:05,881
- Yes!
4
00:00:05,884 --> 00:00:06,884
- [Radio Presenter]
We're into sudden death,
5
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,110
playing for the meal
for two at Bella Italia.
6
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:10,630
Stephen, which footballer
7
00:00:10,630 --> 00:00:13,220
married former Spice
Girl Victoria Beckham?
8
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:14,170
- [Stephen] David Beckham.
9
00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:15,070
- [Radio Presenter] That's correct.
10
00:00:15,069 --> 00:00:15,899
- Bloody easy.
11
00:00:15,902 --> 00:00:16,902
- [Radio Presenter] Warren, in what year
12
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,500
did Preston become a city?
13
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,450
- You're joking me!
14
00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:21,320
- [Radio Presenter] You have 10 seconds.
15
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:22,830
- Well, it's not a city, is it?
16
00:00:22,830 --> 00:00:23,660
It can't be.
17
00:00:23,663 --> 00:00:25,163
- [Radio Presenter] I'm
looking for the year.
18
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,410
- Oh, for 1957.
19
00:00:27,272 --> 00:00:30,242
- [Radio Presenter] I'm
afraid the answer was 2002.
20
00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,130
Congratulations, Stephen,
you've won the meal for two.
21
00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:33,960
- [Stephen] Oh, amazing!
22
00:00:33,963 --> 00:00:35,423
- Absolute stitch-up.
23
00:00:35,421 --> 00:00:36,251
- [Radio Presenter] All the questions
24
00:00:36,254 --> 00:00:37,524
are written fairly, Warren.
25
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,360
- That's a load of total bollocks.
26
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:40,460
- [Radio Presenter] Ah,
there's no need for that.
27
00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:41,620
Apologies, listeners.
28
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:42,450
Now--
29
00:00:42,453 --> 00:00:44,853
- I mean, what a ridiculous question.
30
00:00:44,850 --> 00:00:46,810
Did you know this place was a city?
31
00:00:46,810 --> 00:00:47,960
- Yeah, of course.
32
00:00:47,955 --> 00:00:49,325
- Well, why didn't you say anything?
33
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,670
- Can I just go home now?
34
00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:52,890
My lesson ended, like, 25 minutes ago.
35
00:00:52,892 --> 00:00:54,362
- Yeah, all right.
36
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,190
City of Preston!
37
00:00:55,193 --> 00:00:57,263
I've heard it all now.
38
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,758
(happy music)
39
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,300
- Hello, love.
40
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:14,940
- Is Preston a city, yes or no?
41
00:01:16,170 --> 00:01:17,340
- Yeah, think so.
42
00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:19,219
- I mean, who's giving
this place city status?
43
00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,050
It's a shit hole.
44
00:01:20,053 --> 00:01:22,273
- Preston is beautiful,
thank you very much.
45
00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:24,290
All you see is the ring road every day.
46
00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:26,470
- If you're gonna go on about
how nice the bus station is,
47
00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:27,510
I don't want to hear it.
48
00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:30,330
- It's Grade-II listed,
so is the railway station.
49
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:31,160
- Interesting, isn't it?
50
00:01:31,163 --> 00:01:34,313
The only nice buildings in
Preston are points of exit.
51
00:01:34,307 --> 00:01:35,607
Did Charlie get to the airport all right?
52
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:37,410
- Yeah, I dropped him there this morning.
53
00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:39,360
Oh, he was so excited.
54
00:01:39,357 --> 00:01:44,177
When I got there, they were
all dressed in Hawaiian shirts!
55
00:01:44,175 --> 00:01:45,495
(laughs)
56
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,160
Oh, it was ever so funny.
57
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,540
- Sounds hilarious.
58
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:49,920
- See you later, love.
59
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:50,870
- [Warren] Where are you going?
60
00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:53,270
- I've told you, Danny's parents evening.
61
00:01:53,270 --> 00:01:54,680
Are you sure you're not coming?
62
00:01:54,677 --> 00:01:56,717
- No, I told you, legally,
he's nothing to do with me,
63
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,600
so it's probably against the rules.
64
00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,780
Just not worth the risk.
65
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,200
- I've left you a quiche in the fridge.
66
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,290
Make sure Danny eats
67
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,270
and doesn't just sit upstairs all night.
68
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,100
See you in a bit.
69
00:02:05,103 --> 00:02:06,253
- [Warren] All right, love.
70
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:15,500
- Danny!
71
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,520
We're going out.
72
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:31,520
- Mrs Humphreys.
73
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:36,760
Hello, again.
74
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,590
How are you?
75
00:02:37,593 --> 00:02:38,863
- Yeah, fine, thanks.
76
00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:42,120
And you, are you having a nice evening?
77
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,100
- Yes, can't complain.
78
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,650
- Oh, good, good, good to know.
79
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,020
- Is everything all right?
80
00:02:50,016 --> 00:02:53,046
- Oh, sorry, I get a bit
nervous at these things.
81
00:02:53,050 --> 00:02:54,240
I never did too well at school,
82
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,120
so it brings back bad memories.
83
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:56,980
I used to get in trouble
84
00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:57,910
'cause I'd just sit at the back
85
00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:00,690
with Sandra Whedon passing
love notes to Michael Price.
86
00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:02,450
- Well, you needn't be nervous.
87
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,820
- I didn't fancy him that much,
88
00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:05,070
but his dad owned a launderette
89
00:03:05,070 --> 00:03:07,670
and his clothes smelled ever so nice.
90
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:08,750
- Sure.
91
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,110
Shall we crack on with Danny?
92
00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:11,970
- Oh, God, yeah, sorry.
93
00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:14,290
- Well, Danny is one of our star pupils.
94
00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:15,790
He's a very bright young man.
95
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:18,460
- He must get that from his dad's side.
96
00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,540
- He's kind, he's friendly, he's helpful.
97
00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:22,580
- Maybe not.
98
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:25,530
- Although I am a little
worried about him at the moment.
99
00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:26,980
His grades have dropped slightly
100
00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:28,870
over the past five or six weeks,
101
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,850
and he seems a bit distracted.
102
00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:32,960
- Oh, no, that's not like him.
103
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:33,790
- No.
104
00:03:33,793 --> 00:03:35,923
Have you noticed any
change in him at home?
105
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,030
- Well, I suppose he has
seemed a bit out of sorts.
106
00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:40,450
But I just thought that was because
107
00:03:40,450 --> 00:03:42,620
my partner has started
turning the Wi-Fi off
108
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:44,640
after nine to save on electric.
109
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,830
- And does Danny get on
well with your partner?
110
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:49,090
- Oh, yeah, they get on ever so well.
111
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:51,450
Danny loves spending time with him.
112
00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,360
- How'd he miss from there?
113
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,380
He only had to stick his leg out!
114
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,640
Oh, God, this game's awful.
115
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,870
Play the offside trap,
you've all got to be on it,
116
00:04:05,874 --> 00:04:07,694
you know what I mean?
117
00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:09,510
- I don't really like football, Warren.
118
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:12,870
- Christ, you're hard work, Danny.
119
00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:13,700
- Sorry.
120
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:16,781
- Oh!
121
00:04:19,391 --> 00:04:20,691
The peas are still frozen.
122
00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:23,082
Oh!
123
00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:26,380
Oh, I'm so fed up.
124
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:27,830
- We could ask 'em to
put something else on.
125
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,453
- How has it ended up like this?
126
00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:31,620
Look at me, sat in a pub
127
00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:34,490
with a 14-year-old watching Scotland play.
128
00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:35,840
- I'm 15, actually.
129
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,263
- Do you know, all I ever wanted in life
130
00:04:37,257 --> 00:04:39,297
was a lovely little house in Dorset,
131
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,470
out of town, somewhere peaceful,
132
00:04:41,470 --> 00:04:43,480
nice new Mondeo on the drive,
133
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,390
a couple of little chickens
running around the garden,
134
00:04:46,390 --> 00:04:49,330
maybe one of those garage
doors that closes on its own.
135
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,600
Not too much to ask, is it?
136
00:04:52,599 --> 00:04:54,079
What do I end up with?
137
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,280
A divorced mother of
two living in Preston.
138
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,470
- Can we go home soon, Warren?
139
00:04:58,470 --> 00:05:00,160
I've got a Call Of Duty tournament to play
140
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,780
before you turn the Wi-Fi off.
141
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,000
- Yeah, of course you have.
142
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,300
If your mother asks, we
had quiche for dinner.
143
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:07,486
- I quite like quiche.
144
00:05:07,490 --> 00:05:09,810
- You can pick it out the
bin if you're still hungry.
145
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,577
Did you know Preston was a city?
146
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,090
- Yeah, they changed it in 2002.
147
00:05:15,090 --> 00:05:17,560
- All right, Danny,
nobody likes a smart arse.
148
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,750
Bloody hell, even the
Queen did a walkabout.
149
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,730
Poor Queen, imagine what
was going through her head
150
00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:30,070
walking around this place.
151
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,280
You all right, love?
152
00:05:37,039 --> 00:05:38,679
- (sighs) Well a couple of teachers
153
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,760
mentioned that Danny's
grades have been dropping,
154
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,110
and he's been a bit out of sorts.
155
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,710
How was he tonight?
156
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:45,540
- Bit quiet.
157
00:05:45,543 --> 00:05:48,113
But to be honest, he's
not great company anyway.
158
00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:49,250
- Tried to have a word with him,
159
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,100
but he just said everything were fine.
160
00:05:51,098 --> 00:05:53,058
- There you go, then.
161
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,660
- I was thinking, maybe you
could have a word with him.
162
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:57,487
- Oh, no way.
163
00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,010
Well, you two get on,
maybe he'll chat with you,
164
00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,470
man-to-man sort of thing.
165
00:06:01,473 --> 00:06:02,983
- No, get Charlie to do it,
166
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:05,110
or send him next door
to Ian, he likes Ian.
167
00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:06,940
- Please, Warren, just have
a little word with him,
168
00:06:06,943 --> 00:06:09,613
see if you can find out what's up.
169
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,820
It might be serious.
170
00:06:11,816 --> 00:06:15,606
(gasps) He might have
started taking drugs!
171
00:06:15,610 --> 00:06:17,110
- Oh, calm down, Anne!
172
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,810
I'll have a word with
him tomorrow after work,
173
00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:21,650
if that'll put your mind at rest.
174
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:22,940
- Okay.
175
00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:23,770
Thanks, love.
176
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,750
- Hey, how was the quiche?
177
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:33,270
- Cracking, yeah, really hit the spot.
178
00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:34,110
- Oh, good!
179
00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:36,250
Well, they were on offer, so
the freezer's full of 'em.
180
00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:37,732
You can have the same tomorrow as well.
181
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,560
- Lovely.
182
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,172
- And then they said
it'll take off in an hour,
183
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:49,540
and gave us a voucher for three pound.
184
00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:50,790
I said, three pound?
185
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,760
That won't even get us coffee!
186
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,270
Anyway, we went back to the lounge,
187
00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:56,480
Murray had a bacon roll,
I just went for a latte.
188
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,322
- Oh!
189
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,290
- Well, the bacon roll on
its own was three pound, 30,
190
00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:02,500
so I'm down 30p before I've
even started my holiday!
191
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,620
Anyway, we went back an hour
later, and lo and behold,
192
00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:09,020
the flight was delayed,
so Murray hit the roof.
193
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,130
- Hang on, where are you going?
194
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,980
- Oh, is it all right to
drop me off at home today?
195
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,290
I'm not working this week.
196
00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:15,480
- I'm not a bloody taxi service, love.
197
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,330
- But it's just up there on
the left, you can see it there.
198
00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:21,580
Anyway, Murray nearly
causes a bloody riot,
199
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:22,410
comes down--
200
00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:23,453
- I didn't know you lived on a farm.
201
00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,280
Oh, yes, Murray's been
a farmer all his life.
202
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,520
- Is it a working farm?
203
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:27,350
- Yeah, it's got the lot.
204
00:07:27,353 --> 00:07:29,393
Cows, sheep, pigs, couple of horses,
205
00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:30,820
few chickens, fish pond.
206
00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:33,290
- Oh, yeah, I've always
fancied having chickens.
207
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:35,440
My mum and dad used to
keep 'em when I was a kid.
208
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,210
- Fresh eggs every morning, can't beat it.
209
00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,170
And they cost nothing to
keep either, chickens.
210
00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:42,060
Pay for themselves in a couple of weeks.
211
00:07:42,056 --> 00:07:43,276
Now where was I?
212
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,600
Oh, so Murray demands that Stelios--
213
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,900
- Never mind Stelios,
214
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,820
tell me a bit more about these chickens.
215
00:07:52,027 --> 00:07:53,037
Anne!
216
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,130
- In the kitchen.
217
00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:55,048
- Guess what?
218
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:56,400
I bought a chicken.
219
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,230
- You've done what?
220
00:07:57,233 --> 00:07:58,473
- I've bought a chicken!
221
00:07:58,470 --> 00:07:59,300
- Why?
222
00:07:59,303 --> 00:08:01,813
- Think of all the lovely
fresh eggs we'll have.
223
00:08:01,805 --> 00:08:04,285
Better than all that supermarket shite.
224
00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:05,510
- But where are you gonna put it?
225
00:08:05,507 --> 00:08:07,887
- Gonna put it in our bedroom.
226
00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:09,030
Where do you think I'm gonna put it?
227
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,720
I'm gonna make a pen.
228
00:08:10,716 --> 00:08:12,666
- You were supposed to
be talking to Danny.
229
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:14,410
He came out of his room this morning,
230
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,110
and his eyes were all red.
231
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:18,020
I'm worried it might be drugs after all.
232
00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:19,510
- Anne, have a day off.
233
00:08:19,510 --> 00:08:21,040
You're talking about Danny.
234
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,580
- But why were his eyes red?
235
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:25,600
- Don't know, probably been
blowing his clarinet too hard.
236
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,430
- Will you speak to him today?
237
00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:28,750
- Yeah, he can help me build the pen.
238
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,550
He'll love all this.
239
00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:31,400
Danny, come here!
240
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,230
I want ya!
241
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,510
- Did Warren just call me?
242
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,440
- He's in the garden.
243
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,840
He's bought a chicken, love.
244
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:43,560
- Oh, right.
245
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,750
- No, I think he wants
you to go and help him.
246
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,110
- [Warren] Danny, come here!
247
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,540
- Oh, Mum, do I have to?
248
00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,170
- I think it'd mean a lot, yeah.
249
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,550
I've not seen him this excited
250
00:08:51,550 --> 00:08:54,160
since that student
accidentally paid him twice.
251
00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:57,120
Come and give your old mum a cuddle.
252
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,779
Aw!
253
00:08:58,783 --> 00:09:01,033
(sniffing)
254
00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:04,853
(chuckles)
255
00:09:06,762 --> 00:09:09,552
- I told you that old rabbit
hutch would come in handy.
256
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,450
Your mother was always
on at me to chuck it.
257
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,330
It's good wood, that is.
258
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,163
Oi, not so rough with that netting!
259
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,740
- Doesn't it need a proper coop, Warren?
260
00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:19,030
- Oh, suddenly he's Chris Packham.
261
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:20,830
All it needs is a bit to run around in,
262
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,980
somewhere to have a kip, and
somewhere to lay me an egg.
263
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,041
- What are you gonna name it?
264
00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:27,409
I'm not gonna bloody
name it, it's a chicken.
265
00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:29,690
- I didn't know if you wanted to.
266
00:09:29,687 --> 00:09:31,487
- You want me to take
it for walks as well?
267
00:09:31,490 --> 00:09:32,320
- Ow!
268
00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:34,233
- Quiet, you're frightening it!
269
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:36,150
- Warren, that's the third
splinter I've got now!
270
00:09:36,147 --> 00:09:38,157
"Oh, that's the third
splinter I've got now."
271
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,020
Go inside and ask your
mum for some gloves,
272
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:41,380
you tiny little girl.
273
00:09:45,091 --> 00:09:46,561
- Oh, what's going on here, then?
274
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,040
Building an extension?
275
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,550
- Oh, that's very good, Ian, as usual.
276
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,360
No, I'm putting up a chicken run.
277
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,190
- A chicken run?
278
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,033
Why?
279
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,026
- Why do you think, you tit?
280
00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,260
I bought a chicken.
281
00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:59,177
- You can't keep chickens
in a suburban garden!
282
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,640
Think of the noise pollution.
283
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,470
- Here we go.
284
00:10:01,473 --> 00:10:02,803
It's not Foghorn Leghorn.
285
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,060
It's one little chicken.
286
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,380
- And it'll attract rats.
287
00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:08,530
It's a well-known fact that
chickens attract vermin.
288
00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:10,210
This place will be awash by sunrise.
289
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,350
- Yeah, tell you what, mate,
you look after your garden,
290
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,430
and I'll look after mine.
291
00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:14,260
- Where are you going?
292
00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:17,103
You're not just gonna leave
it unattended like that?
293
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,920
- Oh, shut up, you bell-end.
294
00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:23,480
- So how's it going?
295
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,720
- Oh, yeah, she's settling in, no problem.
296
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,490
- Not the chicken, Warren, Danny!
297
00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,520
Did you speak to him?
298
00:10:29,517 --> 00:10:30,507
- Oh, no, not yet.
299
00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:31,370
- Why not?
300
00:10:31,370 --> 00:10:32,500
You said you would.
301
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,920
- Well, what exactly do
you want me to say to him?
302
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,210
Your mum thinks you're a crackhead,
303
00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:37,520
could you smile a bit more?
304
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,560
- Oh, for goodness' sake, just go upstairs
305
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,680
and try and find out if
there's anything wrong.
306
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:42,510
- Probably up there now
307
00:10:42,513 --> 00:10:45,043
trying to flog his clarinet
to pay for his next fix.
308
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,140
- Now, or that chicken's going back!
309
00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,360
- That's not even funny, Anne.
310
00:11:00,853 --> 00:11:02,333
You all right?
311
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:04,580
- Oh, sorry, I was just
finishing some homework.
312
00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:06,003
- Oh, no worries.
313
00:11:08,095 --> 00:11:09,145
Can I sit on the bed?
314
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,160
- Yeah, if you want.
315
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,590
- Oh!
316
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,960
Big, isn't it? Space.
317
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,240
Not for me, I'm all right here.
318
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,250
- Warren, what's going on?
319
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,750
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
320
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,450
Listen, your mother's worried about you.
321
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:27,780
She went to your parents evening,
322
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:28,610
and your teachers said
323
00:11:28,613 --> 00:11:30,623
your grades were dropping or something.
324
00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,170
- Not really, I got an A
instead of an A star in maths,
325
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,000
but that was it.
326
00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:34,843
- Oh, bloody hell.
327
00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:36,236
The way your mother was going on,
328
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,177
I thought you were
turning into Forrest Gump.
329
00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:39,170
Christ.
330
00:11:39,170 --> 00:11:41,130
- Um Warren?
331
00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:41,960
- Yeah?
332
00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:43,383
- Could I ask you something, actually?
333
00:11:43,381 --> 00:11:44,391
- Its not about your homework, is it?
334
00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:45,220
'Cause I can't help you there, mate.
335
00:11:45,223 --> 00:11:47,873
- No, no, it's not school-related.
336
00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:48,900
It's a bit personal.
337
00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:51,830
- You don't want me to have a look at?
338
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,170
- No, no, nothing like that.
339
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,930
- Thank Christ for that.
340
00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:55,760
What's up, then?
341
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,330
- Promise you won't say anything to Mum?
342
00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:01,230
- Yeah, I promise.
343
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:05,550
- It's just, there is
something on my mind.
344
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,400
- [Warren] Right.
345
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,800
- Warren.
346
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,950
- [Warren] Yeah?
347
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,050
- I'm in love.
348
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:13,297
(laughing)
349
00:12:14,482 --> 00:12:15,322
- I'm sorry.
350
00:12:15,315 --> 00:12:16,145
- It's not funny!
351
00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:17,915
- I'm sorry.
352
00:12:17,918 --> 00:12:20,828
I'm sorry, mate, I just wasn't
expecting you to say that.
353
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,420
Go on.
354
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:24,610
Who is she?
355
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:25,880
It is a she, isn't it?
356
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,710
- Yeah.
357
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,373
- Yeah, only I wondered
with the clarinet and stuff.
358
00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:30,810
Go on.
359
00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:31,730
- Her name's Jenny.
360
00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,870
She's in the year above me at school.
361
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:35,810
She works weekends in the supermarket,
362
00:12:35,810 --> 00:12:37,970
and she does drama for her GCSEs.
363
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,350
- Right.
364
00:12:40,353 --> 00:12:41,693
- Well, that's it.
365
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,320
- So what's your problem?
366
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,910
- Well, what do I do?
367
00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,010
- Have you spoken to her?
368
00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:46,840
- No.
369
00:12:46,843 --> 00:12:49,013
Well, once, yeah, but that was just 'cause
370
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:50,980
she jumped in front of
me in the dinner queue.
371
00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:51,980
- What happened?
372
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,500
- She just said, "Can
I go in front of you?"
373
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,140
- Right, what did you say?
374
00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:57,637
- "Yeah."
375
00:12:57,635 --> 00:12:59,665
- Oh, sounds like you're off to a flyer.
376
00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:01,570
A real whirlwind romance.
377
00:13:01,570 --> 00:13:02,770
- I'm wasting my time, aren't I?
378
00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:05,740
- No, you're not, just go
up to her and ask her out.
379
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,460
Girls like a bit of confidence.
380
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:08,660
- I'm scared, though.
381
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:11,000
- You've got nothing to be scared of.
382
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,130
I'll drive you to go and
see her at work tomorrow.
383
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:13,960
- No!
384
00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:16,373
- Mate, you can sit there and worry about
385
00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:18,070
what would have happened
for the rest of your life,
386
00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:21,610
or you can grow a pair of
conkers and just ask her out.
387
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,480
- You reckon?
388
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,540
- Yeah, we'll get you looking all smart,
389
00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:26,600
she won't know what hit her.
390
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,930
- Okay.
391
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:28,760
Thanks, Warren.
392
00:13:28,763 --> 00:13:29,603
- Yeah.
393
00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:32,456
Mum's the word, eh?
394
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,080
Now, are you gonna sit
there on your arse all day,
395
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,450
or are you gonna come and help
me build this chicken coop?
396
00:13:47,277 --> 00:13:49,857
All right, hang on, I'm coming!
397
00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:52,770
Oh, what now?
398
00:13:52,770 --> 00:13:55,490
- Warren, that chicken
kept us up all night.
399
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:58,130
The noise is absolutely unbearable.
400
00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,080
- What bloody noise?
401
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,140
- The constant clucking.
402
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,570
- Is this a wind-up?
403
00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:04,490
- It's keeping the whole
neighborhood awake.
404
00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:07,220
They weren't designed to be
kept in quiet cul-de-sacs.
405
00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:08,610
- Right, come with me.
406
00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:09,440
- What?
407
00:14:09,443 --> 00:14:10,543
- Come on, we'll have a listen.
408
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:21,340
- Where?
409
00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:28,279
- There.
410
00:14:28,282 --> 00:14:29,962
- And that's keeping you awake, is it?
411
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,850
- Well, I didn't know
when I purchased my house
412
00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:33,520
I'd be living next to a farmyard.
413
00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:34,637
- All right, well, I'll
have a word with her,
414
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:35,482
how about that?
415
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,005
I'll ask her to keep it down for you.
416
00:14:37,007 --> 00:14:39,867
- And I think you owe my
wife an apology as well.
417
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,270
Terrified of chickens.
418
00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:42,630
She's scared to leave the house.
419
00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:45,090
- Funny, even though she
married a complete cock?
420
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,890
You cluck all you want, my darling.
421
00:14:54,490 --> 00:14:55,500
- The more I think about it,
422
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,980
the more I reckon it is drugs, you know.
423
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,700
Did he say anything to you yesterday?
424
00:14:58,700 --> 00:14:59,530
- What, about drugs?
425
00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:00,373
- Yes!
426
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:01,786
I was watching a show on
Channel Five last night
427
00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:04,250
about teenage drug
addicts in Great Yarmouth.
428
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,880
They said telltale signs
were finding home-made bongs
429
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:07,710
in the bedroom.
430
00:15:07,713 --> 00:15:09,553
- Did you find a home-made
bong in his bedroom?
431
00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:10,690
- No, but I did find
432
00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:12,220
the socks my mum gave him for Christmas,
433
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:13,440
still in the bloody wrapper.
434
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,630
- Christ.
435
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:17,010
He's hardly Keith Richards, though, is he?
436
00:15:17,012 --> 00:15:18,942
I'm gonna sort it all out today, Anne,
437
00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:20,650
I've got it all in hand, all right?
438
00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:22,040
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
439
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,170
What do you reckon to the name Maude?
440
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,810
You think she looks like a Maude?
441
00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:27,680
- I knew a woman once called Maude
442
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,050
who worked up on the industrial estate.
443
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:31,230
She found a lump in the March,
444
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,860
and they gave her three months to live.
445
00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:33,950
She was robbed of another hour
446
00:15:33,953 --> 00:15:36,303
when the clocks went forward a week later.
447
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,270
Such a shame!
448
00:15:37,274 --> 00:15:38,444
(playful music)
449
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,440
- Maude it is, then.
450
00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:47,210
Hands out your pockets.
451
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:49,040
Right, that's it.
452
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:49,870
You look fine.
453
00:15:49,873 --> 00:15:50,713
You ready?
454
00:15:50,706 --> 00:15:51,536
- Yep.
455
00:15:51,539 --> 00:15:53,609
- Okay, just take something
up to buy, anything will do.
456
00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:55,720
- Tampons?
457
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,550
- Yeah, make you look
458
00:15:56,553 --> 00:15:58,383
more in tune with a
woman's needs, won't it?
459
00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,990
- Who would I be buying them for?
460
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:00,820
- Your mum.
461
00:16:00,823 --> 00:16:02,433
- Who buys tampons for their mum?
462
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:04,950
- I don't bloody know,
stop reading into things.
463
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:06,960
You take that up to her till, put it down,
464
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,870
compliment her, say you're at
school with her or whatever,
465
00:16:08,870 --> 00:16:10,690
then ask for her number, all right?
466
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:11,520
- Yep.
467
00:16:11,523 --> 00:16:13,073
- You'll be fine, just be yourself.
468
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:13,900
- Yep.
- Okay.
469
00:16:13,903 --> 00:16:15,543
Now, which one is she?
470
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:16,800
- Brown hair, till five.
471
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,960
- Alright, get in the car.
472
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:22,790
- What?
473
00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:23,633
- Car, now, go.
474
00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:24,456
- I thought--
- Car!
475
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,310
- What was all that about?
476
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:28,610
- Danny, what I'm about to say to you
477
00:16:28,610 --> 00:16:30,570
is for your own good, Okay?
478
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:31,400
- Right.
479
00:16:31,403 --> 00:16:32,893
- You've got no chance.
480
00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:35,590
That girl in there is like the
Manchester United of girls,
481
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:38,750
and you are, at best, Wigan Athletic.
482
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,200
- Warren, you know I don't like football.
483
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,430
- Oh, for Christ's sake, Danny,
484
00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:44,610
she's far too good-looking
for you, all right?
485
00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:45,440
- You said I look--
486
00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:46,283
- Forget what I said.
487
00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:47,216
There's no way I'm gonna let you
488
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,370
humiliate yourself by asking out a girl
489
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,020
who's miles out of your league.
490
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,210
Won't do your self-confidence
any good at all.
491
00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:54,310
Put your seat belt on.
492
00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:58,820
You tried your best, but
it just wasn't meant to be.
493
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:08,210
Four days I've had her, and nothing.
494
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:09,940
Not one single egg.
495
00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:10,770
- Really?
496
00:17:10,773 --> 00:17:11,613
That's weird.
497
00:17:11,606 --> 00:17:12,996
Sometimes they get like that.
498
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,460
Did I tell you about my friend Norman--
499
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:16,360
You've sold me a barren chicken!
500
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,640
That's what's happened.
501
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,620
You pulled a fast one!
502
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,510
- There's nothing wrong with that chicken.
503
00:17:20,510 --> 00:17:22,260
She's probably just stressed or something.
504
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:23,740
- Stressed?
505
00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,610
She's not doing her 11 plus, love.
506
00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:27,210
I've set her up like a queen out there.
507
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:28,430
She's doing better than I am!
508
00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:30,080
- Yes, but if they feel uncomfortable
509
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,860
or worried about anything, they won't lay.
510
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:33,920
- Oh, right, so I'll book her in
511
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,130
with a shrink, then, shall I?
512
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:37,080
- She probably just misses her friends.
513
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,650
They're sociable animals, chickens are.
514
00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:41,180
- All right, so I've got to
take her on play dates as well?
515
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:43,410
- No, but they don't
like to be on their own.
516
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,910
They always lay better
when there's a few of them.
517
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,160
- She probably just needs
a bit of company, you know.
518
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,440
They're sociable animals, Anne.
519
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,590
- I don't know if we
have the room, Warren.
520
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,890
- Maude, come and meet your new friends!
521
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:03,170
Maude?
522
00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:05,240
Maude?
523
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:10,120
- Oh, Warren, I think
she's made a run for it.
524
00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:12,515
- Oh, no, that's the bloody foxes!
525
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,160
The fox has got her!
526
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,920
I told Danny to double up on the fencing!
527
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,713
- Sorry, love.
528
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:21,600
- [Ian] Oi, get out of here.
529
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,010
- There she is!
530
00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:25,490
- Get your chicken off of my property!
531
00:18:25,490 --> 00:18:26,480
It's attacking me.
532
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,930
- Stop doing that, you're frightening her!
533
00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:28,973
- Look at its claws!
534
00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:30,190
It'll have someone's eye out with them.
535
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:32,280
- Just pick her up and
give her back to me.
536
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,110
- I'm not touching it.
537
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,403
They're ridden with disease.
538
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,460
- For God's sake, Ian,
it's just a little chicken.
539
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,590
- Be gentle with her!
540
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:39,610
He's upset her.
541
00:18:39,606 --> 00:18:41,186
- Careful, Paula, it went for me.
542
00:18:41,193 --> 00:18:42,773
- Aye, you're brave, Paula.
543
00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:45,470
Ian said you wouldn't come out
of the house because of her.
544
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,947
- Oh, no, you're fine, I love animals, me.
545
00:18:47,954 --> 00:18:48,834
Come here, love.
546
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,364
- [Paula] There you go, Warren, love.
547
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,330
- There we go, come on, baby.
548
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,820
- No, Ian's the one with
the little chicken phobia.
549
00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:56,220
When he were eight, his
family lost him in a farmyard.
550
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,030
- Oh, dear, poor thing.
551
00:18:58,030 --> 00:18:59,510
- They found him two hours later
552
00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:01,410
wedged under the nest boxes.
553
00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:02,850
They didn't even recognisz him at first,
554
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,610
he was covered in that much shit.
555
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:05,440
- Oh.
556
00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:07,720
- Ooh, I know.
557
00:19:08,883 --> 00:19:10,493
- More of them?
558
00:19:10,491 --> 00:19:11,321
- [Warren] In you go.
559
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,164
She's keen.
560
00:19:12,157 --> 00:19:12,997
What's wrong with you?
561
00:19:12,996 --> 00:19:13,896
You trying to kill me?
562
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,460
- Just go inside, Ian.
563
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:21,600
- I'm going to cycle to
Lewis', Mum, see you later.
564
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,360
- Put your helmet on, love, please.
565
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,040
Oh, I'm so worried, Warren.
566
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,270
- I'll just whack a bit
of extra fencing on there,
567
00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:30,800
it'll be all right.
568
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,640
- Not about the chickens, for God's sake!
569
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,470
About Danny.
570
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,013
Where did you both go earlier?
571
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:36,410
He seems worse than ever.
572
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,860
- Oh, he made me promise
not to say anything.
573
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:41,120
- Oh, my God, did he take
you to his drug dealer?
574
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:41,950
- No!
575
00:19:41,953 --> 00:19:43,223
- Oh, God, we'll have
to send him to rehab.
576
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:44,230
Shall I call the Priory?
577
00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,030
- All right, all right, if you insist,
578
00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:49,010
he's been acting weird
because he likes a girl.
579
00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:50,390
- A girl?
- Yeah.
580
00:19:50,393 --> 00:19:51,323
- Is that it?
581
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,570
- Yeah, but don't say anything to him,
582
00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,510
or he'll know I told you.
583
00:19:54,505 --> 00:19:55,775
- Who is she?
584
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:56,890
- Oh, well, Jenny's her name.
585
00:19:56,890 --> 00:19:58,250
She's a year above him at school,
586
00:19:58,250 --> 00:19:59,880
and she does the tills at weekends.
587
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,540
- Oh, Jenny Humphreys, I can see it now!
588
00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:03,700
Yeah, well, that's where you're wrong,
589
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:04,860
I told him not to bother.
590
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:06,240
- Eh? Why?
591
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,330
- Well, we went to go and see her,
592
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,330
and she's way too good-looking for him.
593
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,650
He hasn't got a chance.
594
00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:13,230
- You didn't actually say
that to him, though, did you?
595
00:20:13,230 --> 00:20:14,620
- I told him the truth, Anne.
596
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:15,900
Set his sights a bit lower.
597
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,790
There's plenty of other fish in the sea.
598
00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:19,730
They're just not such good-looking fish,
599
00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:23,100
like a pollock or a grouper.
600
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,610
- Right, the minute he gets home,
601
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,920
you are gonna go and tell him
he can get any girl he likes.
602
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:27,881
- Well, I'm not gonna lie to him.
603
00:20:27,883 --> 00:20:29,883
- Warren, you need to put this right!
604
00:20:31,550 --> 00:20:32,900
- She's not blind, Anne!
605
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,370
All right, girls?
606
00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:00,850
- Warren?
607
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,970
What are you doing?
608
00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:05,570
- I'm looking out for the foxes.
609
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,850
- Okay, 'night.
610
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:11,199
- Dan, before you go,
sit down for a minute.
611
00:21:20,577 --> 00:21:22,307
I've been thinking.
612
00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:25,030
I was wrong to say what
I said about Jenny.
613
00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:26,480
I reckon you should go for it.
614
00:21:26,477 --> 00:21:27,717
- No, you were right.
615
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,300
She is too good-looking for me.
616
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:34,160
- No, she's not, you're a
good, all right-looking lad.
617
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,520
You can do it.
618
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:36,510
- I'm not sure.
619
00:21:36,510 --> 00:21:37,930
- Well, why don't I take
you down there tomorrow,
620
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,690
see if she's working?
621
00:21:39,686 --> 00:21:41,246
- At least you can ask her.
622
00:21:42,195 --> 00:21:43,735
- And you don't think
I'll embarrass myself?
623
00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:45,360
- No!
624
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,420
Not at all.
625
00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:52,240
Just try not to take it personally,
whatever it is she says.
626
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,430
You know, however nasty her comments are,
627
00:21:55,430 --> 00:22:00,000
or however horrified she
looks, just you remember,
628
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,400
you've always got your
clarinet to fall back on.
629
00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:05,250
- Thanks, Warren.
630
00:22:07,652 --> 00:22:08,492
'Night.
631
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:12,980
(comical music)
632
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:15,535
- Hopeless.
633
00:22:23,185 --> 00:22:24,735
- I don't know, Warren,
maybe this is a bad idea.
634
00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:26,180
Maybe I am aiming too high.
635
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:27,010
- What? No!
636
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,450
Although, what about that
nice redhead on number three?
637
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,610
Oh, sweet Jesus!
638
00:22:34,610 --> 00:22:36,480
- Let's just go home.
639
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,350
- No!
640
00:22:37,350 --> 00:22:41,860
Danny, sometimes in life,
you've just got to take a risk.
641
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:42,690
- Really?
642
00:22:42,693 --> 00:22:44,813
- Yeah, I took a risk when
I asked your mother out.
643
00:22:44,810 --> 00:22:46,080
- Was she out of your league?
644
00:22:46,081 --> 00:22:47,281
- What? No chance.
645
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,010
I didn't know how the whole
kids thing would work out.
646
00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:51,940
I was nervous before I met you two,
647
00:22:52,810 --> 00:22:54,210
and then I grew to like you.
648
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,120
Well, not Charlie, really,
but you're all right.
649
00:22:58,121 --> 00:22:59,131
- I'm not sure.
650
00:22:59,130 --> 00:23:02,030
- Listen, I didn't piss a
liter and a half of unleaded
651
00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:03,800
up against the wall
bringing you here twice
652
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,360
for you to wimp out now.
653
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,080
Get in there, go on!
654
00:23:28,651 --> 00:23:29,481
- Text me?
655
00:23:29,484 --> 00:23:30,714
- Yeah, yeah sure.
656
00:23:30,708 --> 00:23:31,538
See you.
657
00:23:38,468 --> 00:23:40,918
She wants to hang out
after school on Monday!
658
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,350
- Do you think she's simple or something?
659
00:23:43,350 --> 00:23:45,520
Danny, if this turns out
to be a big practical joke,
660
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,920
you've got to promise me you
won't get too upset, all right?
661
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,970
Oh, you're kidding me!
662
00:23:50,970 --> 00:23:54,300
(playfully tense music)
663
00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:13,092
- He shouldn't be long.
664
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:14,315
- What the bloody hell's going on?
665
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,400
- Oh, Warren, love, this
is Amanda from the RSPCA.
666
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,040
- I'm afraid we had an anonymous tip-off
667
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,010
suggesting that chickens
were being mistreated
668
00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:21,840
at this address.
669
00:24:21,843 --> 00:24:22,683
- Oh, did you?
670
00:24:22,676 --> 00:24:24,206
- So obviously, we had
to come and investigate.
671
00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:25,040
- Listen, love,
672
00:24:25,043 --> 00:24:27,333
these chickens are treated
like bloody royalty.
673
00:24:27,330 --> 00:24:28,180
- Sir, I never thought--
674
00:24:28,183 --> 00:24:30,513
- They get organic feed,
they got clean water,
675
00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:31,610
they got a heat lamp.
676
00:24:31,610 --> 00:24:32,880
- He's even wired up a radio
677
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,500
so they can listen to Classic FM at night.
678
00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:35,490
- [Warren] To help them unwind.
679
00:24:35,490 --> 00:24:36,330
- Yeah, I can see--
680
00:24:36,330 --> 00:24:39,330
- There is absolutely no way
you are taking my girls off me.
681
00:24:39,330 --> 00:24:41,510
It'll be over my dead body.
682
00:24:41,510 --> 00:24:42,500
- I was just going to say
683
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,600
that these chickens are treated very well.
684
00:24:46,164 --> 00:24:47,334
- Oh, right, yeah.
685
00:24:47,332 --> 00:24:48,172
Well, they are.
686
00:24:48,165 --> 00:24:49,915
- It's a good-sized pen,
687
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,790
they're relaxed, they seem very happy.
688
00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:52,790
- Mm.
- My only concern
689
00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:54,990
is that they've got a
small case of bumble foot.
690
00:24:54,990 --> 00:24:56,810
Nothing too serious,
but you'll need the vet
691
00:24:56,810 --> 00:24:59,790
to give them a once over and
supply them some treatment.
692
00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,300
- How much is that going cost?
693
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:03,830
- Not much, probably 200 pounds.
694
00:25:09,912 --> 00:25:11,152
- Get out, you muppets.
695
00:25:11,152 --> 00:25:11,992
Go on!
696
00:25:13,384 --> 00:25:15,384
You can bloody keep 'em!
697
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,660
Anonymous tip-off, my arse.
698
00:25:22,660 --> 00:25:23,630
Tosser!
699
00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:25,240
- Just let it go now, love.
700
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,340
- I bet it was him that put
them off laying as well,
701
00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:29,280
staring at them out of
his window all day'd
702
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,830
put anyone off their stride.
703
00:25:30,826 --> 00:25:31,656
(Danny laughing)
704
00:25:31,659 --> 00:25:33,979
All right, Danny, give it a
rest, she can't be that funny.
705
00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:34,810
- Sorry.
706
00:25:39,980 --> 00:25:42,120
- So she just gave him her number?
707
00:25:42,115 --> 00:25:43,475
- Yeah, he walked up, bold as brass,
708
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,010
and she just gave him her
number, just like that.
709
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:47,850
- Oh, isn't it lovely, to
be young and in love again?
710
00:25:47,850 --> 00:25:49,870
- I don't get what she sees in him.
711
00:25:49,870 --> 00:25:51,330
- People say the same to me.
712
00:25:51,328 --> 00:25:52,818
- What?
(Anne chuckles)
713
00:25:52,819 --> 00:25:53,649
- [Charlie] Hello?
714
00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:54,672
- Oh, me boy's home!
715
00:25:54,670 --> 00:25:55,500
- Oh, God.
716
00:26:00,988 --> 00:26:01,818
Oh, Anne!
717
00:26:06,782 --> 00:26:09,332
Ah. (chuckles)
718
00:26:09,327 --> 00:26:10,687
- [Anne] Oh, my baby!
719
00:26:10,690 --> 00:26:11,990
How was it?
720
00:26:11,990 --> 00:26:13,360
- Oh, not so tight!
721
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:14,710
- Oh, you look tanned.
722
00:26:14,710 --> 00:26:16,990
- Yeah, I fell asleep by
the pool on the first day,
723
00:26:16,990 --> 00:26:18,400
forgot to put sun cream on.
724
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,400
Doctor at the resort said
I had third degree burns.
725
00:26:20,404 --> 00:26:21,244
- Oh, love!
726
00:26:21,237 --> 00:26:22,867
- Yeah, well, I've got some exciting news!
727
00:26:22,870 --> 00:26:23,710
- So have I.
728
00:26:23,710 --> 00:26:25,520
Danny's got a girlfriend.
729
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:26,350
- What?
730
00:26:26,353 --> 00:26:28,403
- She's not my girlfriend
yet, we're just texting.
731
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,590
- Oh, and Warren bought
a couple of chickens,
732
00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:31,370
but he's got rid of them now.
733
00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:32,662
- Bloody hell, I've only been gone a week.
734
00:26:32,660 --> 00:26:33,810
- What's your news?
735
00:26:33,810 --> 00:26:34,640
- I got this.
736
00:26:35,796 --> 00:26:39,336
- Oh, good God, Charlie,
that's horrendous!
737
00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:41,090
What on Earth did you get that for?
738
00:26:41,090 --> 00:26:42,550
- We all got one.
739
00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:44,610
Well, we were going to, I went first,
740
00:26:44,610 --> 00:26:46,380
and then the others saw
mine and didn't bother.
741
00:26:46,380 --> 00:26:48,840
- God knows what Warren's going to say.
742
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,620
- You know Preston's a city, don't ya?
743
00:26:50,624 --> 00:26:51,894
- Yeah, all right.
744
00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:52,890
Where is Warren?
745
00:26:52,885 --> 00:26:54,335
(Warren exclaims)
746
00:26:54,342 --> 00:26:57,012
(playful music)
747
00:27:01,073 --> 00:27:03,573
- Have some of that, you twat!
748
00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:07,550
- [Radio Presenter] So
remember, you're playing
749
00:27:07,547 --> 00:27:09,777
for the half-price MOT at Kwik-Fit.
750
00:27:09,780 --> 00:27:11,830
Stacey, how many inches in a foot?
751
00:27:11,833 --> 00:27:12,673
- [Stacey] 12.
752
00:27:12,666 --> 00:27:13,496
- [Radio Presenter] Correct.
753
00:27:13,499 --> 00:27:16,009
Warren, what is the first
letter of the Greek alphabet?
754
00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:17,390
- Oh, Jesus.
755
00:27:17,390 --> 00:27:18,660
- [Radio Presenter] I'm
gonna have to hurry you.
756
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:19,560
- Alpha.
757
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:20,390
- [Radio Presenter] Correct.
758
00:27:20,393 --> 00:27:22,683
Stacey, who is Prince Charles married to?
759
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,150
- [Stacey] Oh, what's her name?
760
00:27:24,150 --> 00:27:25,720
Not Diana, the other one.
761
00:27:25,721 --> 00:27:27,331
- [Warren] You've got to
take her first answer!
762
00:27:27,332 --> 00:27:29,202
- [Radio Presenter] Quiet, please, Warren.
763
00:27:29,201 --> 00:27:30,911
- [Stacey] The one that
wears that posh coat.
764
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,400
- [Radio Presenter] You're
nearly there, Stacey.
765
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,710
- Are you gonna hurry her up or what?
766
00:27:34,710 --> 00:27:37,370
- [Stacey] Darren, who's
married to Charles?
767
00:27:37,370 --> 00:27:39,050
- She's bloody conferring!
768
00:27:39,050 --> 00:27:40,190
- [Radio Presenter] Warren, quiet, please.
769
00:27:40,190 --> 00:27:42,070
- [Stacey] Priscilla,
Priscilla Parker-Bowl.
770
00:27:43,420 --> 00:27:44,780
- [Radio Presenter] I will accept that.
771
00:27:44,780 --> 00:27:46,310
- That's not even right!
772
00:27:46,310 --> 00:27:47,140
- [Radio Presenter] Warren, what is
773
00:27:47,143 --> 00:27:48,303
Michael Caine's real name?
774
00:27:49,490 --> 00:27:50,960
- Maurice Micklewhite.
775
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:51,790
- [Radio Presenter] Correct.
776
00:27:51,793 --> 00:27:53,703
Stacey, what is the capital of Edinburgh?
777
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:54,920
I mean, Scotland.
778
00:27:54,915 --> 00:27:55,875
- [Stacey] Edinburgh?
779
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:56,710
- [Radio Presenter] Correct.
780
00:27:56,713 --> 00:27:58,303
- You just gave her the bloody answer!
781
00:27:58,300 --> 00:28:00,280
- [Radio Presenter] Right well,
I'm sure she knew it anyway.
782
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,840
Warren, in what year was Preston's
beautiful Grade-II listed
783
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:04,880
bus station completed?
784
00:28:04,881 --> 00:28:06,271
- Oh, er...
785
00:28:06,270 --> 00:28:07,810
- [Radio Presenter]
I'll have to hurry you!
786
00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:09,752
- 1967, nine!
787
00:28:10,621 --> 00:28:11,591
'69!
788
00:28:11,590 --> 00:28:12,420
- [Radio Presenter] I'm
afraid I have to take
789
00:28:12,423 --> 00:28:13,653
your first answer.
790
00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:15,160
- It's 1969, it's 1969.
791
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,270
- [Radio Presenter] Your
first answer was 1967,
792
00:28:17,270 --> 00:28:20,430
which means that, Stacey,
you have won the quiz.
793
00:28:20,430 --> 00:28:21,320
- Oh, for--
794
00:28:21,323 --> 00:28:22,503
(truck horn blares)
795
00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:25,170
(playful music)
52873
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