Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1}{1}23.978 {2566}{2607}I think the boy's hurt. {2612}{2701}Just give him a nickel|and let's get going! {2713}{2792}I think we should call|an ambulance, sir. {2892}{2979}Hey, cool. I'm dead! {3094}{3170}Please hold on to the handrail. {3175}{3226}Do not spit over the side. {3317}{3409}Aunt Hortense. Great-grandpa Simpson. {3431}{3466}Snowball! {3472}{3559}Do not spit over the side. {3662}{3745}We told you to hold on|to the handrail. {3750}{3874}We asked you not to spit|over the side. {3995}{4040}Howdy, stranger! {4045}{4101}I'm Bart Simpson.|Who the hell are you? {4107}{4215}Please allow me to introduce myself.|I'm the devil! {4219}{4312}You've earned eternal damnation|for your evil deeds. {4319}{4439}-Spitting just clinched it.|-Hey, I'm innocent, man! {4477}{4561}Innocent! Everybody's innocent. {4567}{4650}Okay, let's just|pull up your file here. {4711}{4829}It's a mistake. You're due to arrive|when the Yankees win the pennant. {4834}{4915}Nearly a century from now.|Boy, is my face red! {4920}{4950}Bart! {4955}{5048}Is there anything I can do|to avoid coming back here? {5053}{5115}Sure, but you wouldn't like it. {5119}{5167}-Okay. See you later.|-Bye! {5173}{5274}Remember, lie, cheat, steal|and listen to heavy metal music! {5279}{5318}Yes, sir! {5468}{5547}Dr. Warner, wanted in radiology. {5553}{5602}-He's awake!|-Oh, Bart! {5608}{5671}We thought you'd gone away from us. {5677}{5720}I did go away, Mom! {5725}{5830}I was miles away, writhing in agony|in the pits of hell! {5835}{5921}And you were there!|And you. And you. And you. {5927}{5975}You I've never seen before. {5981}{6052}Yeah, I saw you|chasing Bart's ambulance. {6056}{6152}Lionel Hutz is the name.|Attorney at law. My card. {6157}{6219}-It turns into a sponge in water.|-Classy. {6224}{6343}Would you like to bring legal action|against the fiend who did this? {6348}{6429}The fiend who did this|to my boy is my boss. {6434}{6556}Besides, the doctor says it's just|a bump on the head and a broken toe. {6566}{6621}Doctors are idiots! {6627}{6737}He might have permanent injuries.|You may have to wait on him... {6743}{6827}...for the rest of his life!|That's the downside. {6833}{6954}Here's the good part.|You can cash in on this tragedy! {6959}{7082}-Excuse me, are you a shyster?|-How does a nice girl know that word? {7088}{7181}Mr. Hutz, this is hardly|the time to discuss this. {7188}{7304}You're right. When you're up to it,|come to my office and we'll talk. {7309}{7412}Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.|Is that a broken neck? Great! {7417}{7478}-Hello, Dr. Hibbert.|-Hello, Lisa. {7483}{7562}-We've got a nasty bump on our head.|-Quit it! {7566}{7622}-And a tiny broken toe.|-Quit it! {7626}{7713}Is he well enough for me|to start mothering him? {7717}{7771}Better let him rest a while. {7799}{7884}-I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy.|-Yeah. {7890}{8024}If I wasn't so spineless, I'd march|into Mr. Burns' office now and-- {8030}{8133}Simpson! Burns wants you|to march into his office now! {8201}{8266}Simpson, at last we meet. {8272}{8320}Nice to meet you too, sir. {8326}{8427}My attorneys advised me to pay|for running over your child. {8432}{8508}-So I'm cutting you a check.|-Really? Great. {8660}{8744}$100. Of course,|you'll have to sign a waiver... {8749}{8810}...relinquishing your right to sue. {8816}{8956}100 bucks? It's a generous offer, sir,|but his medical bills alone-- {8964}{9043}So extortion is the name of your game? {9049}{9164}Then you get nothing! I have|the finest lawyers in Springfield. {9170}{9279}Tangle with me, and I'll crush you|like a paper cup. {9364}{9403}Throw him out, Smithers! {9411}{9533}You don't have to do that.|I can throw myself out. {9650}{9689}Lionel Hutz. {9780}{9811}In here, Mr. Simpson. {9818}{9884}-Any calls, Della?|-Calls? Oh, "calls" ! {9889}{10012}The Supreme Court called. They|need your help on a freedom thing. {10018}{10144}Tell them to sit tight. I'll get back|to them. This way, Mr. Simpson. {10150}{10229}You sure have got some education. {10234}{10349}Yes, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford,|the Sorbonne, the Louvre. {10360}{10399}Oh, well. {10404}{10469}Mr. Simpson,|the state bar forbids me... {10475}{10544}...from promising you|a big cash settlement. {10550}{10631}But just between you and me,|I promise you... {10638}{10718}...a big cash settlement.|My fee is 50 percent. {10723}{10828}-50 percent?|-You'll be getting more than a lawyer! {10834}{10931}You'll also get|this faux pearl necklace... {10936}{10991}...a $99 value, as our gift. {10998}{11091}I don't know. You and I|might have different ideas... {11098}{11175}...about how big|a big cash settlement is. {11179}{11240}A million dollars? {11248}{11346}I stand corrected!|A million bucks is A-Okay! {11608}{11702}Now we'll get a real doctor's opinion. {11707}{11758}Bad news! {11782}{11894}Your son is a very sick boy.|Just look at the X-rays! {11898}{11982}You see that dark spot there?|Whiplash. {11988}{12023}Oh, no! {12028}{12115}And this smudge that|looks like my fingerprint? {12122}{12168}No. That's trauma! {12204}{12285}-Am I going to die?|-Yes, son! {12290}{12336}Homer! {12341}{12435}No, of course you won't.|Everything's fine. {12441}{12517}-Will I ever play baseball again?|-No! {12553}{12638}-But I played this morning.|-That's right, he did. {12645}{12770}Dr. Hibbert has been our physician|for years. He thought Bart was fine. {12776}{12875}Oh, Dr. Hibbert,|from Johns Hopkins Medical School. {12880}{13010}Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor.|He's not, I'm not. {13015}{13095}The only person here|who comes close is him. {13103}{13154}Stop, you're embarrassing me! {13160}{13274}Are you sure there isn't|soft tissue trauma in the face? {13280}{13384}Oh, yeah. Tons of it.|Just say when. {13389}{13504}A million dollars? Smithers!|I want this Homer Simpson fired! {13511}{13622}Do you think that's wise?|Think of the headlines. {13822}{13861}What about them? {13866}{13994}They might be critical of you firing|him so soon after the accident. {14000}{14090}All right then.|I don't want to seem like an ogre. {14096}{14156}I'll bide my time. {14162}{14245}Let him twist in the wind.|Slowly, slowly. {14251}{14345}When the papers have found|their new flavor of the month... {14351}{14420}...he'll find out this cat has claws! {14427}{14456}Good thinking. {14470}{14563}Now, let's pretend|you're on the witness stand. {14568}{14616}-How are you, Bart?|-Fine. {14622}{14665}Bart says he's fine. {14672}{14747}You are not fine!|You are in constant pain! {14754}{14799}I am in constant pain. {14804}{14879}-May I make an observation?|-What is it? {14883}{14984}This is a charade to make him|look more injured than he is. {14990}{15032}Maybe Lisa has a point. {15037}{15155}I don't mind it here, but in court,|doesn't he have to tell the truth? {15161}{15219}But what is truth, if you follow me? {15225}{15330}Bart, can you roll your eyes|back in your head like this? {15338}{15399}You mean like I'm dead? Sure. {15405}{15449}The kid's a pro. {15454}{15576}Springfield Municipal Court is now|in session. Judge Moulton presiding. {15583}{15679}My client's instructed me|to remind you how rich he is... {15684}{15741}...and that he's not like other men. {15749}{15844}I should be able to run over|as many kids as I want! {15909}{15999}I warn you, if you continue|to disrupt the court... {16006}{16064}...I'll cite you for contempt. {16071}{16162}-You wouldn't dare!|-Well, no, I guess I wouldn't. {16168}{16248}Calling Bartholomew J. Simpson|to the stand. {16327}{16362}Oh, please! {16368}{16489}Hello, Bart. You know the difference|between telling the truth... {16495}{16556}...and telling a lie, don't you? {16561}{16592}Maybe. {16597}{16730}Well, you wouldn't lie to|the United States, would you, Bart? {16761}{16791}-No.|-Good. {16797}{16867}-Proceed, Mr. Hutz.|-Thank you. {16871}{16930}Tell the jury, in your own words... {16936}{17013}...what happened on the day|of the accident. {17019}{17110}Yes, sir. It was a beautiful|Sunday afternoon. {17117}{17234}I played in my childlike way, not|realizing I was about to be struck... {17239}{17318}...by the luxury car of death! {17400}{17461}Defenseless child at 3:00! {17612}{17659}Luckily, I was not killed. {17665}{17773}Although sometimes I wish I had been. {17818}{17858}He's lying! {17889}{17974}Now, that's believable testimony. {18043}{18114}Mr. Burns, relate in your own words... {18121}{18221}...what really happened|on the day of the accident. {18227}{18285}Certainly. It was a beautiful day. {18293}{18408}The sun was shining. I was driving|to the orphanage to pass out toys. {18412}{18535}Suddenly, that incorrigible|Simpson boy darted in front of me. {18651}{18711}My goodness! Look what's happened! {18716}{18831}-It's not important. Let's drive on.|-You cold-blooded monster! {18835}{18919}Regardless of what you think,|we must summon help... {18925}{19010}...and comfort him|until an ambulance arrives. {19015}{19072}No! {19076}{19159}Take me, I'm old! {19165}{19213}And that's what happened. {19300}{19393}Why are you looking at me like that?|You believed his story! {19400}{19509}It's looking good, Mr. Simpson.|It's looking very good. {19518}{19611}They hate me?|What trial were you watching? {19617}{19685}-Maybe a settlement--|-Settlement! Fine! {19692}{19741}Hang your heads in shame... {19749}{19831}...you overpriced,|under-brained notary publics! {19837}{19956}Just get that ape to my house|and we'll buy him off with a banana! {19963}{20078}And that ugly customer was|the last Indonesian rhino on earth. {20084}{20145}I didn't know you liked animals. {20151}{20239}I don't like everything about them.|Just their heads. {20245}{20324}Care for some wine, old buddy? {20329}{20404}-Don't mind if I do.|-Go, go! {20417}{20533}Bottoms up. There's plenty more|where that came from. {20555}{20613}Are you trying to get me drunk? {20619}{20661}Yes. Now, old chum... {20665}{20790}...I'm sure you agree this trial is|an affront to our collective dignity. {20795}{20867}What say we settle this, man to man? {20873}{20931}You mean duke it out? {20936}{21051}No, I mean I'm prepared to offer|you a generous cash settlement. {21057}{21127}A princely sum-- {21131}{21261}Well, a handsome sum that can end|this imbroglio once and for all. {21304}{21406}Five hundred thousand dollars. {21413}{21451}Goodness! {21463}{21540}Don't answer me now.|Relax, talk it over. {21546}{21662}Soak in the opulence of your|surroundings and dream of what can be. {21668}{21734}Smithers, let's go powder my nose. {21741}{21808}-What do you think?|-I don't know. {21816}{21908}Maybe we should take it|and put this ugliness behind us. {21922}{21987}The fish is in the pan. {21993}{22054}-What do you think?|-I'll tell you. {22059}{22126}I think he thinks I'm an idiot! {22132}{22229}He's offering us this|because he knows he'll lose... {22234}{22291}...and have to pay us a million. {22297}{22335}I feel faint. {22341}{22482}$500,000!|I spit on his $500,000! {22525}{22619}What's happened to you?|All this greediness and lying... {22625}{22689}...and shifty lawyers|and phony doctors! {22701}{22738}Phony doctors? Hello. {22746}{22852}Know what I'd settle for?|The medical bills and an apology. {22857}{22924}You won't even get that.|Offer's expired. {22929}{23051}We'll let the jury decide. Good day.|Smithers, release the hounds. {23167}{23251}Your Honor, I'd like|to call to the stand... {23266}{23326}...Mrs. Homer J. Simpson! {23501}{23619}Do you swear to tell the truth,|the whole truth, so help you God? {23625}{23655}Yes, I do. {23661}{23751}-She was taking that very seriously.|-Oh, the truth! {23788}{23900}Mrs. Simpson, does the name|Julius Hibbert mean anything to you? {23906}{23989}Yes, he's been our family physician|and friend... {23994}{24051}...ever since I became a mother. {24057}{24174}He's seen us through everything|with competence and loving care. {24179}{24249}But wait a minute! I'm confused. {24257}{24384}This court heard expert testimony|from one Dr. Nick Riviera. {24391}{24445}What's your opinion of him? {24482}{24597}My mother said, "If you can't say|anything nice, don't say anything." {24603}{24671}-Will that hold up?|-No, I've tried. {24677}{24752}What is your opinion of Dr. Riviera? {24759}{24829}And let me remind you,|you're under oath! {24835}{24881}To be honest... {24886}{24985}...he seemed more concerned|about wrapping Bart in bandages... {24991}{25049}...than making him feel better. {25055}{25131}And he mispronounced words|like "abdomen." {25136}{25184}And his office was dirty! {25190}{25287}Now that I think about it,|I'm not sure he's a doctor. {25292}{25384}And could you describe for us|in your own words... {25390}{25481}...Bart's "intense mental anguish|and suffering"? {25487}{25566}Well, I don't know|how intense it was... {25578}{25664}...but he did miss|three days of school. {25669}{25746}Although he doesn't like school... {25753}{25824}...so that may not count as anguish. {25829}{25920}It was hard on me,|having him around the house. {25926}{26018}Could you put a dollar amount|on all these hardships? {26023}{26112}We pay Bart $5 a week|to take out the trash. {26118}{26243}I suppose if he'd been able to do it,|we might've given him the $5. {26249}{26283}$5? {26289}{26398}But your lawyer, assuming he is one,|is asking for a million! {26404}{26481}Well, we can't blame them|for trying, can we? {26489}{26568}Thank you, Mrs. Simpson. {26659}{26720}I'm going to write a figure down. {26725}{26804}It's not quite as large|as the last one... {26812}{26876}...but I think you'll find it fair. {26881}{26921}We should take it. {26927}{27049}A million dollars.|My wife cost me a million dollars. {27055}{27124}Would you like|more macaroni and cheese? {27129}{27197}A million dollars' worth,|you snake-woman! {27203}{27244}-No.|-String beans? {27249}{27335}No, you two-timing, backstabbing--|Better answer. {27340}{27401}-No.|-Celery with cream cheese? {27407}{27480}Just mouth polite nothings. {27487}{27559}It would've been cool|to get that million. {27566}{27592}Bart, please. {27598}{27662}We could've bought tons|of great stuff. {27667}{27753}Maids, a pool, fancy sweaters.|Stop me if I'm wrong. {27758}{27854}-Marge, may I go to Moe's for a drink?|-Sure. {27860}{27909}I may never come back. {27916}{27954}Good night. {27958}{28043}My woman's intuition|is telling me something. {28049}{28095}I wonder-- Oh, my God. {28158}{28249}Well, I guess this is|the class I'll die in. {28255}{28345}You're better off.|Rich people aren't happy. {28351}{28463}They think they're happy|but trust me, they ain't. {28470}{28523}Moe, I wish he'd shut up. {28611}{28686}-A chick!|-And it's not even ladies' night. {28692}{28778}Hey, guys. Knock it off!|It's just my wife. {28785}{28873}-Well, hello.|-My name's Marge. {28907}{29020}Homer, I'd like you to forgive me|for doing the right thing. {29050}{29143}We've squabbled over money before.|Never this much. {29148}{29272}It's different than when I washed|your pants with the 20 in the pocket-- {29278}{29397}You think this is about money?|It's not. It's worse. {29409}{29477}I'm afraid that when I look at you... {29483}{29590}...I won't see the wife by my side|or the mother of my children. {29598}{29686}I'll see the dame|who blew my one big chance. {29693}{29758}-What are you saying?|-I'm saying-- {29763}{29856}She's your wife of 10 years,|you've had 3 children. {29862}{29903}It's time to be honest. {29910}{29980}I'm not sure I love you anymore. {29986}{30079}Don't worry, I won't let on.|I'll still do the bed stuff. {30085}{30163}-Maybe it won't be so bad.|-Oh, my Lord! {30168}{30271}I don't want to wait to find out|if you love me anymore. {30278}{30414}I think that you should look me|in the eyes and find out. {30418}{30482}Homer, look at me! {30493}{30604}Do it if it'll shut her up.|Start with the feet. Still angry. {30610}{30640}Good, Homer! {30647}{30735}This is tough, need refreshment.|Trustworthy beer. {30740}{30797}My love for you will never die. {30803}{30907}All right, look the wife|straight in the eyes and tell her-- {31021}{31115}Who am I kidding?|I love you more than ever! {31119}{31249}-I love you too!|-Sorry to scare you like that, babe. {31269}{31311}Okay, everybody! {31317}{31444}For the next 15 minutes,|one-third off on every pitcher. {31484}{31608}One per customer, domestic beer only.|Hey, no sharing! 16600