Original subtitles

Wait here.

I have something I want to show you.

I was thinking of you when I bought them.

Good girl.

Take it slow.

Make him feel seduced without being overpowered.

[moaning]

I am really proud of you, Carrie.

Everything you did was exactly what we talked about.

How does it feel?

Well, it was kind of strange, being so soft.

You know, I'm like-- I'm always the one in control,

and it obviously was not working with this guy.

Well, what kind of a future do you think you guys have?

Well, clearly the sex is great.

I'm just not sure I'm willing to give up control every time.

I mean, I feel like if I'm going to do this,

there needs to be, like, some sort of balance.

So like, he needs to meet me halfway.

But I could see possibilities.

Is that something you want?

Yeah, I think maybe I do.

So, this whole thing hasn't just

been an exercise in winning.

It started off that way.

Sorry.

Oh, no, it's fine.

I mean, I'm not in the business of finding

peoples' true loves for them.

My job is just to help people overcome whatever it is

that's holding them back from the true potential of the

relationship that they're in.

Like me getting laid from a total romantic.

Exactly.

Can I keep that?

Sure.

For your viewing pleasure.

Cool, thanks.

Now, let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.

I really enjoyed working with you, Carrie.

Me too.

But I think I'm going to go out and celebrate

my new feminine side by buying a dress.

Uh-- no, I don't think so All right.

Bye.

Hey.

It's me.

Do you feel like coming by later for a drink?

No, no, the office.

Ryan is at home.

I know.

I know, but I don't want to talk about me.

I want to hear about Nick.

OK, great.

I'll see you in a bit.

Bye.

[knocking]

Come in.

Are you busy?

No.

Come in in, Anne.

I'm really sorry for stopping by like this.

I know we don't have an appointment.

No, no, no. Don't be silly.

Have a seat.

Tell me what's going on.

Well, I know you've been spending a lot of time

with me on working on being assertive with--

and so, you know--

Your lover.

Yeah.

I'm on my way to his house right now.

I just-- I needed a little bit of--

A boost?

Yeah, well, more like a shot of courage.

No, you're not afraid, Anne.

So it's not courage that you need.

It's confidence.

You are a powerful, beautiful, intelligent woman in control

of her life, and no one can take that away from you

unless you give it away.

Gosh.

Thanks so much, Kate.

You are just-- I really needed this.

Of course.

Now just go out there and show him that you're the boss.

-OK. -OK?

Thank you. All right.

Bye.

Bye.

[moaning]

Yeah.

[moaning]

Aw, yeah.

[moaning]

Wow.

What got into you?

That's the last time we're having sex, Drake.

Last time my ass.

Shut up and get back here.

I'm serious, Drake.

We've been seeing each other, what, six months?

Not only haven't you divorced your wife,

but you're still living with her.

Babe, I told you, she--

And I told you, we're finished.

I'm sick of messing around, and I'm

sick of being your mistress.

You're obviously not the guy for me.

You know, that love coach, whatever you call her,

she put you up to this, didn't she?

Nobody put me up to this.

All Kate did was give me the tools

to do what I needed to do.

Kate.

Let me tell you something about Kate.

She sounds like an interfering, nosey little bitch who

needs to mind her own business.

You need to get out of here now.

What, are you going to make me?

Please.

I'll call the police.

The police?

Yeah.

Let me tell you something, Anne.

You won't call the cops.

Want to know why?

You don't have the guts.

That's right.

We wouldn't even be having this conversation if it

hadn't been spoon fed to you.

But you know what?

I'll see you later.

I can't believe you and Nick have been dating for a month

already, and I haven't met him.

OK, honestly, I'm afraid to introduce him to my friends,

in case I'm completely wrong about how he feels about me.

Seriously?

I know, it's crazy that I'm this insecure,

and I'm letting it affect me like this.

What makes you insecure about him?

I don't know.

Um-- it's not anything he's done.

I mean, he's the nicest guy in the world.

He's generous, and caring.

And for how sensitive he is, you would think he would be

a complete wimp, but he's not.

I mean, he's-- he's completely a guy's guy.

And my brothers will totally love

him when they finally meet him.

So why are you keeping him a secret?

He's not a secret.

I just-- I don't want to introduce him

to my friends and family, and they like him,

and then he dumps me.

You just said he's the nicest guy in the world.

Why would he dump you?

It's hard to explain.

For example, this morning when the alarm went off,

I was already thinking about this meeting

I had with my accountant today, you know?

And I was trying to figure out what to wear.

Nick?

Morning, gorgeous.

Good morning.

How come you're up so early?

I had a deposition today.

I woke up at 6:00 thinking about it.

Aw.

Why didn't you wake me up?

You looked way too peaceful.

I just got up and went for a run instead.

You did?

I would have gone with you.

I was thinking about doing something like this.

[moaning]

I'm gonna be late.

I have a big meeting this morning.

Why didn't you tell me to keep my hands to myself?

Not a chance.

You sure?

Completely.

Good.

Cause you're a much better stress reliever than running.

I wasn't quite sure how to take that.

I'm a better stress reliever than running?

I'm sure he didn't mean it to sound so impersonal.

I know.

I just wonder if he's entirely satisfied with me, you know?

No, I don't.

Why go running if sex works better for him?

Why not just wake me up and have sex?

You're getting a little hung up on this running thing,

don't you think?

It's not the running.

You know what I mean.

You think having sex is just a physical thing, and not

a way to connect with you.

Exactly.

And how often do you initiate sex?

Um-- pretty often.

I think.

Yeah?

How?

Uh-- how?

Um, well, we usually have sex when

we're in bed, in the night-- or sometimes in the morning.

And how do you start things off?

Kissing, usually.

Well, you ever just flat out come onto him when he wasn't

already thinking about sex?

Probably not.

He's a guy.

They're always thinking about sex, right?

Well, were you this morning?

No.

But I'm not a guy.

Well yeah, but, you know, sometimes his head

is somewhere else, too.

And that is when you need to strike.

You make it sound like a military operation.

Well, you know, sometimes you have to be tactical

when it comes to relationships.

And if a little unplanned seduction

is called for to add some spice into the mix,

then that is what you do.

OK.

I think I can manage that.

I didn't come over here to advice.

What's your going rate for services these days?

You're not gonna pay me for that.

Well, if I can ever return the favor, just let me know.

Don't worry, I will.

How's Brian, by the way?

He's fine.

I'm fine.

We are fine.

Still haven't moved in together, huh?

I spend every night over there already.

What is the difference?

Don't get me started.

I love you, I'll see you.

Bye.

Have fun with Nick.

Here you go, babe.

Thank you.

So tell me about your day.

What was the best piece of, uh, love coaching you gave someone?

You know I can't talk about my clients.

It's not about your clients, honey, it's about you.

Well, I told someone they should

initiate sex when their partner wasn't thinking about it.

Hm.

Does that mean I should hit on you right now?

It's too late.

I'm already thinking about sex.

Should I wait?

What do you think?

[moaning]

Honey, you remember Mick Nancy, don't you?

He has the place in the desert, right?

Yeah, that's him.

Um, he asked me to go to the village,

and they want us to go to dinner with them next weekend.

OK. I'll check my calendar.

I, uh, I think we should live together, babe.

I basically live here already.

A toothbrush and a few things?

I'd hardly call that living together, honey.

Why do we have to keep having this conversation, Brian?

Why do you keep dodging it?

Because I'm not ready for that type of commitment.

So what are we, friends with benefits?

You know we are so much more than that.

Are we?

I just get this feeling where, like, relationship's a bad word

to you, or something.

It's--

Have you noticed what I do for a living?

Yeah.

That's what I don't get about you.

You spend all this time with your patients,

coaching them on how to make their relationships better,

and you consistently run from ours.

Where are you going?

You wanna know why I don't want to live with you?

This is why.

I'm going home to my place.

That's convenient.

Other people work through their problems.

You go home.

I'll talk to you later.

When?

I don't know, Brian.

I'll call you at lunch.

[knocking]

You're Kate.

Yes?

I have heard so much about you.

It's nice to finally meet you in person.

I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.

Oh, I didn't give it.

I'm Drake.

And you are beautiful.

Does that line actually ever work?

You know, I don't know.

But I'll tell you later.

So, uh, how can I help you, Drake?

Well, I was just in the neighborhood,

thought I'd stop by and meet the famous love coach in person.

Hardly famous.

Well, infamous in certain circles.

But, uh, definitely worth meeting.

So, how did you hear about my work?

Yeah, well, you see, it's not really your work I heard about.

Really?

Really.

Do tell.

Have lunch with me, and I might.

I don't know you.

Well, ask me anything.

Um-- what's the most surprising thing about you?

Oh.

Probably my cooking skills.

I'm kidding.

I'll tell you what-- I'll bring you lunch.

Whoa, I don't, um-- I need to--

Yes?

OK.

Great.

Noon, then.

I can't believe I finally had the nerve to do it.

I mean, I was really freaked out the whole time

I was telling him off.

But I finally stood up for myself and told him to get out.

That is great, Anne.

I'm so proud of you.

Um, but I'm going to have to cut our session short.

Sorry.

Oh-- oh, no problem.

But I'll see you later this week, right?

Absolutely.

I'm going to need as much support as I can get.

-OK. -OK.

All right, I'll see you then.

Thank you.

Bye. [phone ringing] Hello?

Oh, hi, Jenna.

Um, actually, I already have lunch plans.

Rain check?

OK.

I'll talk to you then.

Bye.

You're here.

Yes, I am.

What are you doing?

If you have to ask, you haven't had nearly enough.

[moaning]

Well, that was interesting.

Yes, indeed.

What was interesting?

Well, I always wondered if your love coach

services included sex advice.

But I'm guessing no.

And why do you say that?

Why?

Because you fuck nothing like Anne does, baby.

That's why.

Anne?

Yeah, you know Anne.

The one with the married lover?

Oh, I guess she never told you my name.

Or if she did, you've got less scruples

than I thought you did.

Mm-hm.

Get out of my office.

You know, I've been getting that a lot recently.

What is it?

Is it something in the air?

Get out of my office!

OK.

I'll see you around.

Argh!

God.

Hi.

It's me.

[knocking] Hi.

Thanks for coming.

Sure.

Drake came here.

What?

Why?

Well, presumably to get back at you for breaking up with him.

I don't know what you mean.

I had sex with him.

You did what?

I didn't know who he was, or I never would have done it.

Wait, don't you have a boyfriend?

Yeah, I'm really sorry, Anne.

I totally screwed up.

No shit, you screwed up.

I gotta go.

Well, will I see you later this week?

I don't know.

I'll call you.

[knocking]

Kate?

Oh, hi, Carrie.

Um-- did we have an appointment?

No, but I want to set one up.

Um, the advice you gave me about getting in touch

with my feminine side really didn't work out,

so I need to try something new.

OK, sure.

Um, does later this week look good for you?

You don't have anything right now?

I'm sorry.

Now's just not great for me.

Bye.

God.

[phone ringing] This is Kate.

Hi, Brian.

Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.

Jenna stopped by and I, uh-- I had lunch with her.

Can we talk about this after work?

Yeah, sure, I'll come over.

Look, I-- I gotta go, OK?

Bye.

Hey.

Hey, baby.

How was work?

It was great.

Yeah?

[phone ringing]

You gonna get that?

No.

How come?

There's nobody I want to talk to more than you.

[phone ringing]

What's gotten into you today?

Hopefully you.

[moaning]

Hey.

Hey.

Would you like to go with me to meet my brothers this weekend?

Sure.

I'd love to.

Great.

[phone ringing]

You gonna get it this time?

Yeah.

I will, smartie.

Hey, Kate.

You did?

Sorry.

I was in the middle of something.

Yeah, what's up?

No problem.

I'll see you then.

You actually slept with him?

It was totally stupid, I know.

And that moment of insanity completely

confirms the reason why I haven't moved in with Brian.

I mean, clearly men and women are just not meant

to be exclusively monogamous.

That's bullshit, Kate, and you know it.

I mean, you're just trying to justify your bad behavior.

I mean, face it, you fucked up.

OK, tell me how you really think, why don't you?

What I really think is that you-- I mean,

you're awesome at giving other people advice

on their relationships, but you suck

at practicing what you preach.

OK.

What do you suggest?

I think the first question you should ask yourself

is do you really love Brian?

I mean, don't answer that right now.

Go and see him, and tell him what you've done.

Yeah, no.

No, I'm serious.

Tell him what you've done.

He deserves that amount of honesty,

and you need to face the consequences

of what you've done.

You know, after you guys have dealt with that,

then you can answer that question.

If you-- if you love him or not.

You know?

Where are you going?

Home to my man.

I love you, girlfriend.

But, I mean, I'm not going to stay

here and indulge you when I think this is completely wrong.

Call me after you've talked to Brian.

Hi.

We need to talk.

[doorbell]

ANNE: Hi.

Thanks for coming.

DRAKE: I thought you'd never ask.

ANNE: Why would you say a thing like that?

After our last conversation, I was surprised you called me.

I was too, actually.

So I've realized I was being kind of harsh,

and I didn't like it.

Well, that makes two of us.

Yeah, i don't like the way things were.

And I was thinking a lot about you.

Really?

And I was hoping that you weren't totally mad at me.

I can never be totally mad at you.

Well, I was hoping that you'd be interested in something

like this?

Uh-uh.

[moaning]

What are you doing?

Recording evidence.

What do you mean?

I mean you're a lying, cheating bastard,

and your wife needs to know about it.

Oh, come on, Anne.

You know you made that tape for your own private collection,

right?

Yeah, something to get off on on one

of your cold, lonely nights?

The only thing I'm getting off on

is watching you squirm while you wait to see if I'm

gonna send this to your wife.

Now, you need to leave.

Give me the tape, Anne.

Come on.

Anne, I'm not kidding.

Give-- give me the tape.

I need to report an intruder.

Yeah, my address is 424 Maple Street.

[knocking]

Hey.

Are you alone?

More than you can imagine.

Not good, huh?

Not good.

Aw, what happened?

He basically called me a fucking hypocrite

and, like you, wonders how I can manage

to do my job effectively if I can't even manage

my own life with integrity.

Ouch.

Ouch.

[knocking] Come in.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize you were with somebody.

Don't worry about it. Come on in.

Have a seat.

Jenna, this is Anne.

Anne, this is Jenna.

It was her ex-lover that I slept with.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, me too.

Not more than I am.

You'll be happy to know I paid Drake

back for being such an asshole.

You did?

How?

I had sex with him, and taped it for his wife.

Wow.

Nice one.

You did that?

I figured he had it coming to him.

I mean, that's a good idea, in case he tries

something nasty again, huh?

Well, how are you doing?

You can't turn that advice thing off, can you?

Habit, I guess.

Don't be sorry.

You're really good at giving relationship advice.

But I suck at taking it, right?

She told her boyfriend what happened.

Oh.

OK, enough about me.

How are you two?

Actually, it's not nearly enough.

She's pretty good at this, isn't she?

Oh, yeah.

Think she can take it, too?

Let's find out.

OK, Kate, I think this is going to hurt a bit.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Apologizing.

I don't think I can deal with that right now.

I just need to say something before you decide.

OK, I was so wrong about everything.

I thought I couldn't possibly commit to you

because I didn't trust myself.

I didn't trust that the way that I felt about you was enough.

I love you, Brian, and I don't want anyone besides you.

But somehow I didn't trust it.

Forgive me for making such a mess, and not seeing it

until I did.

I love you.

[moaning]