All language subtitles for Keeping.Up.With.the.Kardashians.S18E03.Date.My.Daughter.720p.HDTV.x264-CRiMSON

Kourtney: Filming, it doesn't
make me happy,

and, like, it's not worth it.

I just can't do it anymore.

Take a break
if you need a break.

It's not worth breaking you,
it's not worth you

breaking somebody's face.

What kind of relationship
is this?

You're just such
a bitch, though.

You don't think you're a bitch
just 'cause you cry?

Kourtney: No, I just feel like
it's hard.

It's, like, hard to communicate.

Hard-- like I've said,
hard to come to work

when you feel
this intense attitude

and being ganged up on
every day.

I just feel like I'm
on a hamster wheel.

Kourtney, don't leave, please.

And it's just not something
I can continue to do.

I'm taking a break
from the show.

Now I can focus, I can plan
my time of being a mom.

I've decided to take
a big step back from

filming with my sisters.

Life is too short.

Man:
Thanks, kourt.

Bye. Thank you.

I really support kourtney
taking a step back.

I think if she needs that,
then that's exactly

what she should get

we obviously didn't
resolve everything.

And we really haven't
heard from her.

So we're just kind of waiting.

If kourtney wants to film,
she'll film.

If she doesn't, she won't,
and I'm all for it.

I'm all for doing whatever
makes your soul happy.

What she said.

♪ ♪

-what do you think, mase?
Are you a buyer?
-Yeah.

That's too low.
Much too low.

Scott:
The past couple years, I've been

building houses
and selling them.

And it's been an unbelievable
journey for me.

And tonight I'm hosting
an open house.

And I figure I'll bump elbows
with the people around town.

-This is beautiful.
-Oh, good. Thanks.

Well, done.
Congratulations.

Yeah, it's all about
the backyard.

♪ ♪

scott: I've been really happy
and excited

that I found, I think,
my calling, real estate.

You know, I really built
the whole house.

So seeing something
start to finish

in front of your eyes
is really cool.

Sofia:
She's having so much fun
with mason.

Like she's just attached to him.
"mason! Mason!"

mason's obsessed with her.
That's all he talks about.

I know, like... I-I know.

Scott:
He really is.

-Hey, mase. Bye, guys.
-You get their number?

-What?
-You get their phone number?

-Scott: Yeah.
-Aha.

♪ ♪

kris:
So, listen up.

I have a lesson
to teach you people.

So, you know when
you have a credit card,

and you get your bill?

Sometimes there'll be
a little pamphlet in there.

It'll say you think...

Is that where you got
your toupee from?

My toupee?

-Uh-huh.
-I do not--

does it look like
I have a toupee on?

A million percent.

-It does?
-Mm-hmm.

Oh, this is terrible.
Is that better?

(laughter)

do you have a mirror?

I can't see that far away.

Will you just fix it?

-Let me see it again.
-Okay.

-That's better.
-Is it doable?

-However you just were before...
-Yeah?

...It was wild,

-and I couldn't
let you film like that.
-Okay.

Um, are you dating anybody?

No.

Not even thinking about it.

No? You been on a date?

-No.
-Stop.

Well, not since tristan
and I broke up.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

I have friends go,

"I want to hook you up
with someone."

I just don't care.

I'm focused on myself and true,

and that's just what I do.

Yeah.

Who knows, maybe I'll
never date again.

Khloe has definitely been
through a rough year.

And the fact that she says
she doesn't want to date again

is a little sad for me
because I want her

to live her best life,

and hope that she'll have
another baby one day.

Kris:
And I think it's good
to put yourself

out there for a little bit
in order to figure out

what you want
and what's meant to be.

Do you want another baby?

Not now, no.

-Are your eggs frozen?
-No.

If I want to, I will one day.
I just don't care to.

You need frozen eggs.

I'm not worried about it.

I just find it so strange that

people find it
such a negative

when somebody wants
to be single.

Trust me, if I wanted to date,
I would date.

I want to invest my energy
in my daughter,

in my self-healing.

And I think that should be
really empowering,

and it should be more rewarded
rather than frowned upon

and like, "oh, my gosh,
is she okay?"

I'm actually (bleep) fantastic.

And I think everyone needs
to jump on this bandwagon.

I'm completely happy and fine.

Wow. That's impressive.

♪ ♪

okay, babe.

Corey:
Bye, babe.

Ah. Hi, guys.
Sorry I'm late.

Hey. Look how cute you look.

Thank you.

Do I have lipstick
all over my face?

No. Why?

Oh, we were just having
a little make-out session

in the car.

Is that too much?

-Why, um...
-Is my shirt on right?

Why would your shirt
not be on right?

Just one of those days.

Why isn't corey here?

I thought he was coming
to lunch.

Corey had to go home and sleep
'cause we were up all night.

You know how that goes.

I love our dynamic
with our mom,

and I would not change it
for the world.

But does my mom overshare?

I mean, she's talking about
her lipstick being smeared,

her mojo, just...

Some things, zip it.

-Thank you so much.
-Okay, enjoy.
-Wow.

-Wow.
-Tiramisu?

I heard it was the dessert
of lovers.

(laughter)

-enjoy, okay?
-Kris: Thank you.

Mm.

Mm.

I could rub this
all over my body.

Ew. Why would you want to?

Trust me.

Women go through
different stages in life,

and I'm going through
one of those stages

where I cannot get enough
of my boyfriend.

You've just got to get it
when you can.

I couldn't be more opposite
right now.

And it's a little unfair
that I'm dating

and having the time of my life,
and khloe's not.

You should taste this, guys.

This is like a sex dessert.

Stop saying sex like that.

-Why?
-Shh. Just...

It's not a dirty word.

(loudly):
Sex!

-Mom, stop.
-Sex!

Oh, sorry.

I-I... I wanted some...

(quietly):
Some sex.

(kris laughing)

I cannot stop thinking
about sex.

-These lights are cool.
-Kendall's like, "anything."

I feel like they're just
giving me a hard time

about feeling sexual

and just being myself.

They're gonna figure this out
when they're my age,

and they're gonna feel
really bad about this one day.

Khloe:
I can't have this conversation.

All righty.

Are you single? Yeah? Really?

Kris:
I'm a pretty good wingwoman.

I'm especially good at
setting people up together.

Mm-mm-mm.

You know, like, I'm not sure
if I want to have more kids,

which I'm not, and that's fine.

While you're in
the unsure phase,

why don't you just
freeze your eggs?

I'm just saying right now,
true is under two,

and currently, I'm not sure
if I want another kid. Okay.

You don't want to look back
and go, "ah, I should have."

-♪ ♪
-(indistinct chatter)

hi.

Woman:
Hi. How are you?

-This?
-Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, so...

Do you know how old that is?

-What is it?
-It's just, like,
birth certificates

and marriage certificates.

Divorce papers.
(chuckles)

kim:
Do you think you'd ever
date again?

I would have dated by now.

I got a couple
of "boyfriends," but...

-Really?
-Yeah.

Wait, mom, what's a "boyfriend"?
What does that mean?

"a boy who's a friend."

-someone to occupy your time.
-Yeah.

You could date at any age,
mary jo.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

(chuckles)

I was over at khloe's visiting,
and I felt like

she just had such an attitude.

About dating, about ever meeting
someone or having kids.

She's feeling defeated,
I think, too.

Kris:
I just want khloe to be happy,
end of story.

And if I would have given up
on love a long time ago

because of the different
things I've been through,

then I wouldn't be in
the amazing relationship

that I'm in today.

So khloe's gonna figure out

the person
she's supposed to be with,

but it's really never
gonna happen

unless she puts herself
out there.

I really wish that tristan
would have worked out.

-Yeah.
-I really do.

But in the meantime,

I just really strongly believe

that if she's not interested
in dating right now,

she's got to freeze her eggs.

I think it's a good idea, kris,
if you can convince her.

And I just think we should
also try to figure out ways,

like, how do we get her
out and about?

Kim:
I know that khloe's
been in this funk,

and hasn't been in
the best headspace,

but I feel like
she has to be out there

and connect with as many
people as possible.

I don't know, maybe it'll
bring something out in her

that'll just inspire her
to just be in a different zone.

Mj: She's got to meet
the right kind of guy.

Like an accountant or something.

Mm-hmm.

Or a plumber.

(laughs)

aren't you the comedian?

(chuckling)

♪ ♪

khloe:
Oh, yeah.

So, it was the theater,
but I never used it.

-Khloe: How cute.
-Scott: Oh, my god.
-How cute is it?

-Khloe: Who painted this?
-Me.

-No, you didn't.
-Swear to god.

Scott:
That is an amazing piece.

-Let's get it on.
-Kendall: Well, look, I have

all these thingies
so we don't get dirty.

Let's get serious, guys.

Should we collab on a khlo...

-Uh... Ken... Kenal, kenalo?
-Scott: A khlo?

Khlodall.

-I like khlodall.
-Khlodall.

-We're gonna yodel and khlodall.
-Ooh, should we do,

-like, a sponge painting?
-Khloe: I was
already gonna do that.

You're in my brain.

Scott:
So, gonna have to be in arizona.

-Khloe: For what?
-For this, like, real estate

speaking engagement gig
that I got.

-Really?
-Kendall: That's cool.

Khloe:
How long are you talking for?

Scott:
I think it's, like,
four or five minutes.

But I think the conference
is a couple hours.

-But how cool to do something
different like that.
-Yeah.

No, I'm excited.

Scott:
I never thought selling houses

was gonna start going
into speaking engagements.

But josh altman and I have
gone back a really long time.

He's an unbelievable
real estate agent.

And he came to me and said,

"I've been doing these speaking
engagements and they want you

to host one with me."

you know, I figure,
if this goes well,

I definitely think it's gonna be
a positive, great thing,

not only for my life, but also
for my real estate business.

I mean, I used to get paid
to go to parties

and be a piece of (bleep), so...
Things are looking up.

Khloe:
What the hell are you gonna
talk about, anyway?

-Just, like, flipping?
-Scott: Uh, yeah.

Scott:
I need to figure out
how to get myself comfortable

so I can kind of move
with the questions

if questions start firing at me.

-Yeah.
-Kendall: I want
to flip a house.

-Khloe (laughs): Kendall is...
-I'll do one with...

-Khloe: ...Bored or something.
-No, I'm serious.

Scott:
If you find something
that has potential,

just have to find something
with a good location.

-Kendall: Mm-hmm.
-You can always build it
to be better.

Kendall:
Right. Whoops...

So you're using
your same colors.

-So it stays in the family.
-Khloe: Hey, I'm trying to make

half of a fairy wing for you.

But I don't really know
what a fairy wing looks like.

What-- supposed to be half.
Doesn't look like one, huh?

-Wasn't sure what it was.
-Okay. I got to figure it out.

-We're halfway
through the process.
-Okay.

I'm just trying to think,
do I make another half

-of the fairy wing?
-No, you can do whatever.

But if you don't even know
it's a fairy wing,

-then that's a problem.
-Well, I didn't at first.

(chuckles)
it's okay. Art is...

-What you make it.
-Sure.

♪ ♪

mj:
This isn't a gucci store, is it?

Kris:
No.

It's cute, though.

This is a huge store.

Kris:
I wonder

if reign has a bike.

Mj:
How about this?

I could get this for true.

-These are fishing rods.
-Hmm.

Kris:
Mj and I are at
dick's sporting goods today

because the holidays
are right around the corner,

so even though we have some time
until we roll into christmas,

I am here to help mj
get her holiday shopping done.

Mj:
Oh, here's the real basketballs.

Why don't we get this
for, um, mason?

Mj:
You think?

Excuse me, do you know anything
about basketballs?

You do?

Oh.

Do you play this with your kids?

Oh, you don't? Are you single?

-Yeah? Really?
-Yeah...

Walking up and down the aisles
at a sporting goods store,

it suddenly hit me
that this is the perfect place

for khloe to flirt
with somebody.

There's a lot of cute guys
in here.

-I guess you're looking, right?
-Well, I'm not looking.

-I'm just looking...
-It sounds like you are.

-(laughs)
-no, I'm looking for khloe.

-Oh, okay.
-Kris: When I was single

at khloe's age,
it was so fun to flirt.

Hello.

Good.

Trying to look
for a couple gifts.

Do you come here often?
(chuckles)

I have a daughter, actually.
Khloe.

Kris:
I know khloe's gonna kill me,
but I don't care.

I think she should have some fun
and put herself out there,

because I don't want her
to be so bitter

about ever dating again.

-Hi.
-How you doing?

Good. How are you?

What is that?

Are you an athlete?

-Oh, you're a trainer?
-Yeah.

My daughter's actually
looking for a trainer right now,

so that's such a coincidence.

This is the one
you'd be training.

(laughs):
Are you?

Khloe:
Hello?

-Hey.
-Hi, mom.

-Hi, so I'm with mj...
-Yeah?

...And this really
cute guy's here.

-(whispers): Okay.
-Mj: I showed him a picture.

Mj just showed him your picture.

-You showed him khloe's picture?
-Khloe: Shut up!

And he's all up for it.

Khloe:
Stop, stop.

My mom is being so crazy.

I don't know what it is.
She is...

Ugh, foaming at the mouth
for the opposite sex.

Or maybe just sex.
I have no idea.

I mean, mj's sending me pictures

from a sporting goods store
of these gentlemen.

This shop is not open
for business, though. Okay?

Closed.

-Kris: You want to talk to him?
-Mom, no.

-Yeah, you should.
-Khloe: No, no, no, no.

-Sorry, what was
your name again?
-Khloe: No, no, no, no.

-Kris: Jay, say hi to khloe.
-How you doing, khloe?

-Khloe: Hi, how are you?
-I'm doing great.

-I'm doing great.
-Kris: He's a trainer,
and I was thinking

maybe you guys could have
a session together.

Khloe:
Oh, okay. Got to go. Bye.

(phone beeps off)

mj: Okay. I'll tell her
to look you up.

-(laughs)
-kris: What a bust.

And she's seriously no fun.

If khloe isn't going
to appreciate

this amazing opportunity,

then I'm gonna have to get
a little more creative.

Let's go, mary jo.

This is like a singles club.

Oh, (bleep).
(groans)

-man: You got to keep
your head down.
-Head down.

Kris: Golf courses are one
of the best places

to meet a guy.

Are you married?

-Mom.
-Just being friendly.

♪ ♪

khloe:
Come on, little red riding hood.

Kris:
Back in the day,
there was an actor--

and I'm trying to think
of what his name was--

and he had a sucker
at all times.

-That was his, like, thing.
-Charlie chaplin.

-No.
-How old are you? Just kidding.

Kris:
Beautiful.

How cute. Look at the ducks.

Khloe:
I am really surprised
that my mom invited us

to go golfing today.

I am a really good golfer.

Khloe:
I have never heard you
mention golf before.

Kris:
Well, you're just not listening.

I have golf shoes, golf clothes.

And this is a great place
to be social.

Kim:
Yeah, one of these will do.

Kim, you don't know
what you're doing, do you?

-Khloe, I took golf lessons.
-What's this?

That is, like, the one
in the fairway. That's good.

-Kim: That'll make it go...
-What the (bleep) is a fairway?

(gasps)
was that you, keeks?

Kris:
I think I hit a squirrel.

Khloe:
What's the point of this?

Oh, (bleep).

(groans) (bleep)

(bleep)

-(bleep)
-(laughs)

khloe:
I'm made for bigger balls.

(laughs)

khloe:
Head down?

-Be soft on your knees.
-Okay.

Man:
Got to focus on the ball.

Ooh. That one sounded nice.

-That was a good one.
-Khloe: Oh, my god. I hit it.

-Hole in one.
-(laughs)

kris:
Ooh, that's a good shot.

-Do you guys play here a lot?
-Once a week.

-Do your kids play golf?
-If I had kids,

-they would play golf, yeah.
-You don't have kids?

Are you married?

No? Huh.

-(golf club whooshes)
-khloe: (bleep) ass(bleep).

-You know what?
-Kris: Do you guys
come every Monday?

-Yeah.
-Kris: You should start

coming on mondays.

If-if their friends and them
come on mondays.

Golf courses are one of the best
places to meet a guy.

The guys are dressed well, they
smell good, they're athletic.

You guys could do,
like, 18 holes.

I don't even know
how to do this, mom.

What's wrong with you right now?
No, I think you're, like...

-Did you take some viagra
or something?
-What's wrong with you? No.

-What...? I am not flirting...
-I think someone put viagra
in your coffee.

-...With anyone.
-Mom.

-Just being friendly.
-Okay. You got to calm down.

Khloe:
My mom is being pretty strange
and extra,

but it doesn't take a genius
to figure all this out.

Bye, guys.
Thanks, you guys, for the tip.

I mean, first, it's my mom
trying to put me on the phone

with some guy
from a sporting goods store.

And now this
whole golf scenario.

I know you're a horny toad,
kris, but get over it.

I'm single
and I'm very (bleep) happy.

Kris:
You guys aren't
very social sometimes.

-What...?
-You have to be
a little more social.

-I was...
-Like, introduce yourself
to people.

Kim:
She was so friendly.

-What do you want her to do?
-Oh-- I said-- what--

I think I even asked questions.

I'm just saying,
as a rule of thumb in life.

Mom, you're probably the most
standoffish person ever.

You're only friendly if someone
can offer you something.

-Or if I have a drink.
-Right.

♪ ♪

-are you okay?
-Kris: Yeah, I'm good.

-Hey, babe.
-I rushed over here to--

they said
you wanted this, but...

Ah. Perfect.

-It was, like, 911,
so I didn't know...
-I know.

-I wanted to see you.
-I was in a meeting.

-Can I have a kiss? Yeah.
-Yeah.

That's it?

Corey:
Mmm.

Kris:
Sex at my age

is amazing
and a beautiful thing.

And guess what.

You just got to get it in
when you can.

Is anybody in here?

-This is some sexy (bleep).
-(laughs)

corey:
This is my lucky day.

(chuckles)
oh, my god.

It's kind of fabulous.

You-- don't leave. Don't you
just have five minutes?

-Come here.
-That's it?

Yeah, do you have five minutes?

-Uh...
-Yes or no?

-Uh, yes, I will make the time.
-(laughs): Okay.

All right, you guys.
All of you, get out of here.

Here's my mic.

(fading): I'm taking
a ten-minute break. Bye.

Sorry. Bye.

That is a lot of people.

♪ ♪

oh, my god, I used to eat these
all the time.

Scott:
Yeah, they're your dad's
favorite, no?

-No.
-Wait, let me see them.

-Gluten-free stuff?
-Oh, no.

I meant those long little wafer,
the chocolate ones

that I put in the freezer.

-Oh, yeah. Molasses chips?
-Yeah.

-From see's candy?
-Yeah.

They're gluten-free,
I bet mason would like 'em.

So, what's the longest speaking
engagement you've ever done?

Where you had to be up and talk.

Talking one-on-one?

-To an audience, yeah.
-Oh, my gosh,

-about what?
-Well, I have to do one

-about real estate.
-Amazing.

Amazing.

I was told
"four to five minutes."

-okay. That's doable.
-But it's 45 minutes.

Yeah.

Scott:
45 full minutes of talking?

It's a big difference, people.

Big difference.

I mean, I'm not super interested
in speaking

in front of people in general.

So, you know, I figure

if anybody has done a fair share
of speaking engagements

in this family, it's kim.

After going to visit so many
different prisons,

my heart just
completely opened up.

What I found is,
every time there's a product

that I want to release, it works

when it's super authentic
to you.

Scott:
So, if she can't help me,

I don't know who can.

Kim:
So here's my motto.

You have to explain every last
thing really thoroughly.

Even if you think it's,
like, a dumb thing,

-you have to assume...
-You have to explain.

...They don't know and
you have to, like, thoroughly

get into it.

So go into depth
wherever you can.

Yeah, so if it were me,
and I was giving a speech,

I would come out and be like,
"hi, I'm scott."

that part I got.

And-- but just, like,
say your journey.

I'm wondering how to
keep the people engaged.

Well, I think first, like,
having a plan.

Having, like, your intro.

And that intro can include,
like, "a," "b" and "c."

this is how you grew up.

You moved to california
when you were however old.

Just to kill some time.

-Time fillers.
-Gotcha.

Just fully-- you know,
that'll kill, that can kill...

-Ten minutes?
-Ten minutes.

-Okay.
-You know?

So, do you think you should
get up here

and, like, try something?

I'll be your audience.

I'll be here, like,
in audience, like, seating,

-like this.
-Ooh. Nice.

Hello, hello.

(coughs)
oh, wow, I got to do it over.

-Okay.
-My throat hurts.

(coughs)
ah!

Hello!

I'm scott disick,

and it's nice to see everybody.

(laughs)

this is the kind of support
you're giving me?

(laughing)

you know what I do?

There's, like, acronyms
that we come up with.

-Acronyms?
-So it's like...

This is starting
to stress me out even more.

No, no, no.
It's just easy to...

Just hit me,
hit me with some questions.

-And I'll do some answers.
-Okay.

So, scott, since you live
in calabasas

and there's so many fires,
are you concerned

with global warming?
Is that going to affect...?

Oh, (bleep) me running.

-Is that...?
-I'm not getting
into global warming here.

-Is that going to affect
where you buy a house?
-Flipping houses, lady.

-You're scaring me.
-Someone could ask that.

I will say, "next!"

kim, she is a speaking queen.

It makes me feel
like I need to, like,

perfect my craft a little bit.

And, you know, I need to, like,

study this a little bit
before I just get out there

and expect to know what to say
for 45 minutes.

So, I'm not exactly sure
where you go

for speaking classes, but...

I'll find something.

Do you pick all
the landscaping yourself

or do you hire
a landscape architect?

I can't do any more.

I'm starting to get
more stressed.

-Really?
-A little. You're, like...

This is, like, preparation.

You're making it like you're
at the white house again.

You're too big for me.

I should have had somebody
less famous over.

-Hey.
-How are you?

Good. How's it going?

-Mom.
-Yeah?

I know what you're doing.

I'm not in the mood for this.

I've already had this talk
with you.

I am not willing or ready
to date right now.

♪ ♪

man:
Penny!

-Yodel!
-Everlasting!

-Oh...
-People are getting serious.

-Kim: No.
-Trisha!

This is not my thing.

Abernathy!

Yikes!

-Oh, what?
-Man: Susan!

No!

Scott:
You know, I think I need
to figure out

how to get myself comfortable

with getting onstage, talking.

So I figure I will do
an improv class,

and this is like
the real deal one,

like the one before, you know,
you go to snl.

And it's intimidating.

You're hearing people scream,
like... (screams)

I mean, who knows
what's going on in there.

It sounds like there's murders
going on.

-Hey, guys.
-Hi.
-Hello.

-Come on in.
-Welcome to improv class.

So let me just start
by saying this is...

-Uh-oh.
-I'm very shy, this is...

We're here for scott.

-Just hang, we're gonna just do
some silly, dumb warm-ups.
-Cool.

We make it up on the spot.

-You never know
what you're gonna get.
-Oh, really?

-I didn't know that.
-Yeah, yeah.

-So, um, are you being
sarcastic?
-No, I really didn't.

-Yeah.
-Kim: I never thought about it.

You know, if you're
public speaking or whatever,

doing improv will help you
be prepared for that,

so this kind of just
warms you up.

The warm-ups, they're silly.

-So... Wah!
-Wah!

-Wah!
-Wah!

-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!

-Wah!
-Wah.

-Wah.
-Wah!
-Wah!

You were great.
We lost you to that?

Scott:
It was a warm-up!

Kim:
Maybe I'll warm up
and come back in.

-Instructor:
Okay, you might come back.
-Scott: That's okay.

Um, do you want to do
expert panel?

-Yes!
-Yes, okay. Great.

Okay, so, let's get scott
up to do one.

-♪ ♪
-we're gonna give you something

that you're supposedly
major experts on.

We're gonna try and pick things

that you don't know
anything about.

-Just make it up.
-Exactly.

-And be as specific as you can.
-Confident.

Instructor:
Yeah.

Scott:
I mean, these people are

really clever and really witty,

and, I mean,
they can do everything

on the fly.

And I am not there yet.

Okay, scott...

Come on, come up.

We'll be partners.

-The invention
of the first shoe.
-Oh!

-You got this.
-Yeah?

Good, the invention
of the first shoe.

-I believe in you.
-Scott, just make it up,

-trust yourself.
-I'm here today with my husband

-bill todd. I'm sandra todd.
-Thank you, everybody.

Appreciate you having us here,
and it's funny,

I notice all of you are wearing
exactly what I invented

a very, very, very, very,
very long time ago.

Like the business,
I grew the shoe into a sneaker.

Woman:
Oh! I mean, it's amazing.

And when I tried
the first wooden shoe on,

-I was a little splintery.
-Well, that's when

-you said you were dying
for my wood.
-Yes.

-But I said we've got
to move further.
-Oh! (laughs)

but we did have fun, didn't we?

(cheering and applause)

scott:
I could see people really liking

that I was pushing myself

to interact
and really stepping outside

of my boundaries, and...
The response was good.

I've been stressing myself out
about this speaking engagement,

and it's still a lot, but now

I definitely think
I could take it on.

-Come on!
-That was great.
-Felt good.

That was, like, dripping out of
you like water from a faucet.

-Aw...
-Amazing and very sexual.

-Robert: Hi, kim.
-Hi.

Hey! Check our jets.

Drop it.
That's my butt you're spraying.

-Hello.
-Ooh...

-Blue nails? Wow.
-Yeah, they were supposed to be

-darker, but my toes are darker.
-They're pretty.

Are they not the same color?
They just look darker?

No, yeah, it's like, I guess

we were thinking when
we matched the color,

that it would've been the same,
but it wasn't.

Khloe:
So, my mom's been acting
really weird lately.

-Mm-hmm.
-She's trying to push me
into dating,

and if I wanted to date,
I would date.

You know that.

Right. Of course.

But I'm just not
in that headspace.

-Right.
-Like, my mom's setting me up

on dates--
like, how pathetic am I?

Like I can't get my own date?
Of course I can.

-(laughs)
-I just don't want to right now.

What is wrong with that?
You should be--

I would think my mom
would be happy.

I mean, well, your mom's always
gonna be concerned about you

and want you to have, like,
healthy relationships

and move on with life.

Because she knows you have
so much life ahead of you.

So I get where
she's coming from,

but I'm also like, "did you do
anything or say anything

"to make her think that
she should kind of assist you

in that dating direction?"

well, I've said, you know, like,

"I'm never gonna date again,"
but that's like me saying

I'm never gonna drink again
when I'm hungover.

-Like, you just say things.
-Yeah. It's dramatic,
but we know it's not true.

Right. And I've also said,
you know, like,

I'm not sure if I want
to have more kids,

which I'm not.
And that's fine.

Okay.

But I could see you saying
to k-jen,

"I'm never dating again,
I'm not having any more kids,"

and she's like, "oh, no,

I have to step in
and do something about this."

that's, like, the worst thing
you could probably say to her.

Oh, my god.

This is one of the first times

in my life that, instead of just
breaking up with someone

and then jumping into a
relationship with somebody else,

that I am taking time

to heal from the inside out.

And tristan and I are doing
a really good job

trying to figure out
our co-parenting dynamic.

So, to add dating in there,

I'm just not in that space
in my life right now,

so why rush it just to make
everybody else

feel more comfortable?

I'm just saying,
right now true is under two.

And currently I'm not sure
if I want another kid.

-Okay. That's all-- like...
-I think you do.

Truth is,
I had a lot of siblings.

You had a lot of siblings.

You just have to really
ask yourself,

"is this something
I want to secure

"because I want to make sure,
and know for sure,

"that true will never have
to experience being alone

and not having
the support system"

that you've survived of off,
and so have I.

That's really the--
my biggest drive

in wanting to give her
a sibling.

I'm just saying right now,
I'm not sure.

It's okay to not be sure.

But what I will tell you is,

while you're
in the unsure phase,

why don't you just
freeze your eggs?

Yeah, that's what my mom
was saying, too.

I'm not against it.
I'm just like... (sighs)

but once you do it,
it's the best insurance policy

we can ever have.

You don't want to look back
and go, "ah. I should have."

yeah.

Stop.

-What?
-Someone just saw corey gamble

at the reg bev wil,
with a redhead

-getting on the elevator.
-No. No.

Said they rode the elevator
together to the 14th floor.

Okay, let's go right now.

We're going to bust his ass.

If this is in fact true,
how will you feel?

Khloe:
If this is true, I'll obviously

slice off corey's
little ding-a-ling.

-Hi! Hey!
-Yo, what...?

-Y'all, y'all gonna be...
-Are you by yourself?

-Corey: Whoa!
-Who's in the bathroom?

-Khloe: Who the hell is that?
-Yo, hey!
-Ooh!

-Papa.
-Robert: Hi, khloe.

-Papa?
-What?

Hello.

♪ ♪

so I need to talk to my mom
about all of this meddling,

because enough is enough.

-Hi. How are you?
-Hi.

Good. How's it going?

What are you doing?

Just doing over some paperwork.

(laughs):
Ow.

Khloe:
I just want her to know
that I'm happy

and I'm okay,
and when I want to date, I will.

I don't need her assisting me.

Do you think I want
what she's picking?

-Mom.
-Yeah?

I know what you're doing.

I'm not in the mood for this.

I've already had
this talk with you.

I am not willing or ready
to date right now.

I am not upset in, like,
a crazy way, I just want people

-to, like, listen to...
-Respect your boundaries.

-Yeah, just, like...
-Okay.

I just thought,
if you're in a situation

where you have a social setting,
a little bit,

and it just, unexpected, you
just never know when it might...

-Pow, hit you.
-No, but I'm serious.

I don't like it.
It makes me uncomfortable.

Okay. Sorry, khloe.

You know, at the end of the day,

I just want you
to be happy and realize

that there's a lot of life
out there to be lived,

and socializing,
and I just don't want you

to feel like you're stuck
at the house.

And I worry about you.

Well, I decided that I am gonna
freeze my eggs.

Just, one, to get you
off my back,

but just 'cause there's
no downside to it, why not?

Makes me so happy.

It gives me
such a sense of relief.

-Sure.
-Are you gonna make any embryos?

You need sperm to do that.

I am sure tristan would be down.

I don't-- I'm not there yet.

-Okay. All right.
-Thank you.

-Kris: Sorry, khloe.
-Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

what up, what up?

Josh:
Listen, it's gonna be a rush.

That's what you're in for.

(josh clears throat)

so you always got
to warm up your voice,

so that's happening right now.

(loudly):
I like to talk loud

before I go on because that way
it warms up the voice naturally.

I'm gonna do push-ups.

What are you getting pumped for?
You got a jacket on.

You're about to change
people's lives, scott.

Come on!
Look at the excitement in his...

(whoops)

scott:
Today is the day,
and we're here in arizona.

And we're gonna do
this speaking engagement.

And josh is an amazing guy,

but I had no idea
he takes it this serious.

I mean, you'd think this guy
thinks he's rocky

going into, like,
the last fight.

Let's go!

Scott:
And it only makes me feel

more intimidated.

And I hope that improv class
actually helped me.

-Oh, my god, it's really--
it's finally coming.
-Josh: You ready?

Emcee:
Glendale, let's get on our feet.

Let's give a warm welcome

to josh altman!

(cheering, applause)

oh...

You know, I'm intimidated to get
up there with all these people.

I want to be good
and I don't want to...

I just got to give it my all,
and here goes nothing.

I'm going out there,
and I hope this goes well.

Give it up for my boy
scott disick!

(cheering, applause)

hello, hello! How are you?

Tell me about
flip it like disick.

Scott:
So, I've always loved

trying to find houses
that had potential,

how to get them at a deal,

how to make them
look even better.

Josh:
Why don't you tell
the story about

the house that I sold for you,

what you did to it,
and it was just,

it was something so simple,

but that people
don't even think about.

Yeah, so a huge part
of real estate in l.A.

Is having a view of the city.

This house looked
like it had no view

because the trees.

Demo out all of the trees
in the backyard.

I probably gained almost
a million dollars in the view

by just cutting trees.

Million-dollar gardener.

-(laughter, applause)
-a million-dollar gardener.

-There you go.
-That would be a good show.

I was nervous to go onstage,

but it seems like
the key to success

is just putting
yourself out there

and not caring
what other people think.

And just giving 'em
the real, authentic you

and I actually enjoyed it, and
I would love to keep doing it,

to be honest.

Josh:
Here we go. One, two, three.

-Go!
-(cheering)

scott:
Thank you.

Josh:
Thank you, guys.

Woman:
Do the figure eight.

Robert:
Yeah, is that good?

There you go. All right.

(laughs)

malika:
Oh, my god, you guys.

This is happening.

-Thanks, babe.
-(phone ringing)

-hello.
-Man: Hey, do you have a second?

-Yeah.
-(man speaking indistinctly)

stop.

What?

-No. No.
-They said they rode
the elevator together

to the 14th floor.

Is this a joke?

-A redhead girl with patent
leather boots?
-Why not?

Why not?

So I get a really disturbing
phone call

from a friend
who will remain nameless,

who said they saw corey
at a hotel with a redhead.

I was like, "is this a joke?"

what do we do?
Just go to the beverly wilshire?

Why not?
You'd be saving your mother.

If this guy's running around
with some prostitute?

We're going to bust his ass.

Like, is this
so pretty woman or what?

Thank you.

Like, what on earth?

Like, who does this
at the regent beverly wilshire?

-Like, it's a popular place.
-Right.

If you're gonna be shysty...

Malika:
I think what's shocking for me

is, I look at corey and kris,
and I'm like,

"they're in a great spot."

the other day at lunch,
she told me and kendall

how horny she is,
and is her lipstick messed up?

Because she was just
getting it on with corey.

Malika:
Yeah. Like, I feel like
your mom is so happy now.

-And I'm like,
"so what's up with this?"
-do you think that matters?

-We all know
that doesn't matter.
-I know it doesn't matter.

People will just stick their
little ding-a-ling in anything.

When I say "people,"
I just mean men.

I want to know
who the redhead is.

Malika:
I want to know
who the redhead is, too.

Oh, my gosh.

Khloe:
I want to know
who the redhead is.

Malika:
Oh, my gosh.

(khloe speaks indistinctly)

malika (whispers):
Okay. We're hopping out.

If this is in fact true,
how will you feel?

(laughs):
I would cut a... A bitch.

-Both bitches? Him and her?
-Yeah.

If this is true,
I'll obviously, you know,

slice off corey's
little ding-a-ling.

And, of course, I would be
really sad for my mom,

but I think everyone should know

what's happening
sooner than later.

Malika:
And we've been given
a great tip.

We know exactly
what floor to get off on,

and we know exactly
what room we're going to.

When khloe gets mad,
I can't control her.

You can just forget it.

Like, it-- I j-- I just have
to stay out the way.

-But...
-'cause the truth is, if
something's really going on...

...I'm so much better now.

...It's just better for me to be
there. That's what I will say.

I'll stay out the way, but
it's better for me to be there.

-Khloe: Hi.
-Corey: Yo-- what?

-Khloe: We had a meeting down
here. We wanted to say hi.
-Malika: Hi.

-Khloe: We can't come in?
-Wh-what's up?

-Malika: No hugs?
-Really, you look so nice.

-We wanted to say hi. Hello.
-Corey: I don't think
this is the time

-you want to...
-Oh, my goodness!

I don't think
this is the time...

-I'm gonna use your bathroom.
-Wait, wait.

-Malika: It's a very nice suite.
-Khloe: So nice in here.

You got your collar popped.
Look at you.

-You're so cute.
-Where's your bathroom?
Can I use your bathroom?

-Hey, hey, hey,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
-It's so nice.

Y'all-y'all don't want to be--
no, no, yo. What...?

-Malika: Are you by yourself?
-Khlo.

What are y'all doing?
The bathroom's not that way.

-Is this-- where's the bathroom?
-Khloe: Who the hell is that?

Corey:
Oh, hey!

Malika (laughs):
Who is...?

Khloe:
Why are you running from us?

-Malika: Kris!
-Khloe: What?!

(laughs):
It's your mom. It's your...

What are you doing here? What
the (bleep) are you doing here?

-What are you wearing?
-Why are you wearing a red wig?

Khloe:
Who wears

a nasty synthetic wig?

I was like,
"who is this cheap hussy?"

"what is going on?"

all I kept thinking
about was, "uh-uh.

You are going
from kris jenner..."

-he went for the low-low.
-Right.

With a synthetic, cheap
hollywood boulevard wig?

No, no, no.

We're like, "honey, this is not
a scene out of pretty woman.

-You went lower than that."
-I wish I could even

pull her hair
and give it a little tug,

but that thing will probably
give me a (bleep) disease.

-(laughs)
-a rash.

I actually am so grossed out.

I don't want to know
what you're doing.

Why are you wearing
these disguises?

What disguises?

I am dressed just like--
why are you wearing a disguise?

-What are you wearing?
-Why are you here?

-Ew. I just got to leave.
-Oh, you guys...

-Kris: Khloe...
-This (bleep) is (bleep) weird.

Like, it's just weird.

It looks like it was cracking
in that room.

Khloe:
Yeah, they were having
a (bleep) party.

I honestly can't even imagine
those two bumping and grinding.

-No, you don't want
visuals, honey.
-Oof.

Khloe, what are you doing here?

You should cover your hair
more than your body.

I've seen your body
a million times.

I've never seen you
in a red wig.

Why were you being
so weird about it, corey?

You know,
this is our private time.

I don't know if she wants y'all
to see her in these stages.

-Ew!
-Kris: Did you think
he was having an affair?

Khloe:
They said, "oh, I see
your mom's boyfriend,

he's in the lobby with
a redheaded woman," and we were

-like, we were literally
right down the street.
-Stop.

-So we said, "oh, really?"
-what?

They told us your room number...

So you called all these people
into coming with you?

-Well, we-- they were with us.
-Malika: They were with us
anyway.

Khloe:
We were down the street,
literally.

Kris:
Whoa, yeah.

Mom, stop twirling your hair.
It's too weird for me.

-I can't handle it.
-(laughs)

and your boobs are, like,
pushed up to your chin.

-Malika: Mmm-mmm-mmm.
-What is happening?

-Oh, okay. I got to go.
-Oh, you guys, well, we're...

-I got to go.
-We're clearly...

We were trying
to do the right thing,

and now, like, my eyes.

(groans)
I'm blind!

Corey:
Yeah, love happens
in the daytimes, too.

Khloe:
Well,

I know that you are getting
your-your rocks off with corey,

-and just... Love...
-Rocks off?

"rocks off"?

-Loving life, but...
-"rocks off"?

Celibate and celebrating,
horny as hell.

Couldn't be more opposite
right now.

You would think it would be
the other way around, too.

Some people, you just can't
envision naked in bed together.

You're not the one
I'm talking about.

I've seen you naked.
I can envision that clearly.

-(chuckles)
-I can't envision the other one.

I feel like we have to talk
about our next prank.

It needs to be
something your mother

would be embarrassed about.

It's kris jenner, bitches!

That's the money.

-(horn honks, tires screech)
-kylie: I can't see, like,

ten feet in front of me.

I'm getting lasik.
Come with me if you wish.

-I'm scared.
-What are you nervous about?

They're gonna open my eyeball
and shoot it with a laser.

Khloe:
Tristan is back in cleveland.

Does that mean I have to send
true there by herself?

Just gives me anxiety to think
I would have to send her.

Like, she's just a baby.

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