Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,922 --> 00:00:02,317
Good Morning.
2
00:00:02,318 --> 00:00:04,871
There have been no accidents
on the post for 3 months.
3
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:07,704
For that, you've earned
a coveted three-day weekend.
4
00:00:09,701 --> 00:00:12,119
I can't wait to get in the woods
with my grandma and bow-hunt some possum.
5
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:14,407
We never hit anything,
but we do have some sweet talks.
6
00:00:14,408 --> 00:00:17,335
I'm going to the best low-budget
spa in Central Florida.
7
00:00:17,336 --> 00:00:18,937
I have to bring my own lotion.
8
00:00:18,938 --> 00:00:20,038
Oh, sounds sad.
9
00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:22,040
Keep in mind,
I don't care.
10
00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:24,375
As you enjoy your weekend,
drink responsibly
11
00:00:24,376 --> 00:00:25,910
and don't get into fights.
12
00:00:25,911 --> 00:00:27,812
I wish that were the end
of my safety briefing,
13
00:00:27,813 --> 00:00:29,948
but your history
dictates otherwise.
14
00:00:29,949 --> 00:00:32,984
So... here we go.
15
00:00:32,985 --> 00:00:36,821
Do not start fires.
Do not touch fires.
16
00:00:36,822 --> 00:00:39,223
Do not do things
fire tells you to do.
17
00:00:39,224 --> 00:00:40,658
What if it's real persuasive?
18
00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:43,728
Do not take in a feral animal
and try to raise it as a house pet.
19
00:00:43,729 --> 00:00:45,330
What if it's real persuasive?
20
00:00:45,331 --> 00:00:47,532
Do not taunt the marsh birds.
21
00:00:47,533 --> 00:00:50,101
Do not defecate
in a library drop box.
22
00:00:50,102 --> 00:00:52,437
Do not get
married on a bet.
23
00:00:52,438 --> 00:00:53,938
Do not convince an old
24
00:00:53,939 --> 00:00:56,241
Jewish couple you are
their grandson Jeffrey.
25
00:00:56,242 --> 00:00:58,076
They said I had
an adorable punim.
26
00:00:58,077 --> 00:00:59,243
And, finally,
27
00:00:59,244 --> 00:01:02,046
food goes in your mouth
28
00:01:02,047 --> 00:01:03,748
and not anywhere else.
29
00:01:03,749 --> 00:01:04,349
What about...
30
00:01:04,350 --> 00:01:06,417
Not anywhere else.
31
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:11,488
The Army is filled with
troops on heroic missions,
32
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,057
and then there's us.
33
00:01:13,058 --> 00:01:15,193
We take care of things at home.
34
00:01:15,194 --> 00:01:17,328
We are the Rear Detachment.
35
00:01:17,329 --> 00:01:19,964
Yes, we're soldiers.
36
00:01:19,965 --> 00:01:25,655
Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
37
00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:28,006
So really?
38
00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:29,941
A whole three-day weekend,
and you're wasting it
39
00:01:29,942 --> 00:01:31,342
doing fake Ranger training?
40
00:01:31,343 --> 00:01:33,111
Pre-Ranger training. It's "pre."
41
00:01:33,112 --> 00:01:34,612
No more P's until you swallow.
42
00:01:34,613 --> 00:01:36,547
We got to pack on the calories
because Ranger training
43
00:01:36,548 --> 00:01:39,977
means minimal food, water and
sleep, and maximum realization
44
00:01:39,978 --> 00:01:43,221
of our full potential as
badass soldiers in the U.S. Army.
45
00:01:43,222 --> 00:01:44,389
Pass the Splenda?
46
00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:45,990
Of course,
I'm already a Ranger, but...
47
00:01:45,991 --> 00:01:48,126
I promised I'd show this little guy
how to follow in my footsteps.
48
00:01:48,127 --> 00:01:49,494
Maybe even pass you, Pete.
49
00:01:49,495 --> 00:01:51,162
Then it's you
in the footsteps I made.
50
00:01:51,163 --> 00:01:53,398
- Is that a challenge?
- 'Cause it's not much of a sentence.
51
00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:57,535
Milk race, go.
52
00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:03,875
I win.
53
00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:05,810
Oh, how I have not missed this.
54
00:02:05,811 --> 00:02:08,313
Ha! I have more
chicken pox. I win.
55
00:02:09,815 --> 00:02:11,516
Idiots.
56
00:02:13,352 --> 00:02:14,519
I win!
57
00:02:16,188 --> 00:02:17,922
Idiots.
58
00:02:17,923 --> 00:02:19,190
Rip some hair out.
59
00:02:19,191 --> 00:02:21,059
First to make
a noise loses.
60
00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:23,094
Go!
61
00:02:26,865 --> 00:02:28,866
You made a noise. I win.
62
00:02:30,369 --> 00:02:31,836
Idiots.
63
00:02:31,837 --> 00:02:34,205
He makes you cry every time.
Why do you keep doing it?
64
00:02:34,206 --> 00:02:36,841
Because one day I'll beat Pete
and then he'll cry.
65
00:02:36,842 --> 00:02:38,743
- That's not gonna happen.
- And I'll probably cry.
66
00:02:38,744 --> 00:02:41,276
There'll be a period of disillusionment.
I may grow a beard.
67
00:02:41,277 --> 00:02:44,382
Well, while you're eating twigs
and urinating outdoors like animals,
68
00:02:44,383 --> 00:02:46,050
I'll be hanging
with my girlfriend this weekend,
69
00:02:46,051 --> 00:02:48,353
indoors, like a human.
70
00:02:48,354 --> 00:02:50,088
- Eat the twigs?
- Who eats the twigs? Come on.
71
00:02:50,089 --> 00:02:51,723
- It's a twig.
- Yeah. Come on, Derrick.
72
00:02:51,724 --> 00:02:53,691
- You don't eat the twigs.
- You're better than that.
73
00:02:53,692 --> 00:02:55,593
- You chew on them to stave off the hunger.
- Hey, by the way,
74
00:02:55,594 --> 00:02:57,862
how's it going with Erin
now that her ex-husband's back?
75
00:02:57,863 --> 00:02:59,530
You know, we've all settled in
76
00:02:59,531 --> 00:03:02,233
to a surprisingly workable
domestic arrangement.
77
00:03:02,234 --> 00:03:03,735
Toilet's fixed.
78
00:03:03,736 --> 00:03:05,370
Pipes are fixed.
79
00:03:05,371 --> 00:03:06,971
Sprinkler's fixed.
80
00:03:06,972 --> 00:03:08,406
Oh, thanks, Brandon.
81
00:03:08,407 --> 00:03:11,009
Oh, and I, uh, made
too much jambalaya so...
82
00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,477
I brought some over.
83
00:03:12,478 --> 00:03:14,112
Oh, dinner's fixed!
84
00:03:14,113 --> 00:03:15,513
He just loves doing stuff
around the house.
85
00:03:15,514 --> 00:03:16,881
It's like I have my own butler.
86
00:03:16,882 --> 00:03:18,583
Sounds like Erin has
a very special man in her life.
87
00:03:18,584 --> 00:03:19,884
Yeah, and also you.
88
00:03:19,885 --> 00:03:21,786
What? No, I get to do
all the fun boyfriend stuff
89
00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:23,054
like watch movies,
90
00:03:23,055 --> 00:03:24,489
and Brandon just does
all the work.
91
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,691
Who do you think means more
to Erin at the end of the day?
92
00:03:26,692 --> 00:03:28,559
Her film club buddy
or the male model
93
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,428
who does literally
everything else?
94
00:03:30,429 --> 00:03:31,996
Sounds like the second guy
has the edge up.
95
00:03:31,997 --> 00:03:32,797
Feels like he's got the edge.
96
00:03:32,798 --> 00:03:33,598
Feeling like he does.
97
00:03:33,599 --> 00:03:34,599
Hey!
98
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,533
Oh!
99
00:03:35,534 --> 00:03:36,634
Come on, man!
100
00:03:36,635 --> 00:03:38,269
Come on! All right, first one
101
00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:39,804
to finish their lap pasta wins.
Ready? Go!
102
00:03:47,079 --> 00:03:48,079
Check me out, brother.
103
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,781
I'm in a deeper lunge than you.
104
00:03:49,782 --> 00:03:51,082
How 'bout now?
105
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:52,684
I win.
106
00:03:52,685 --> 00:03:54,085
- Damn it!
- All right.
107
00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:55,920
What do you say we go out there
and have some fun?
108
00:03:55,921 --> 00:03:56,821
- Hooah!
- Let's do it!
109
00:03:56,822 --> 00:03:57,522
Gotcha.
110
00:03:57,523 --> 00:03:58,656
This will not be fun.
111
00:03:58,657 --> 00:04:01,459
Ranger training is hell on earth
and can only be enjoyed in retrospect.
112
00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:03,428
Like... Cuban food.
113
00:04:03,429 --> 00:04:05,930
I don't care how hard it is.
I will not quit, Sergeant Major!
114
00:04:05,931 --> 00:04:07,198
Ideally, you will.
115
00:04:07,199 --> 00:04:09,534
I have a DVR stacked
with Restaurant Impossible.
116
00:04:09,535 --> 00:04:11,469
Ooh, yeah, that's good.
But until you quit,
117
00:04:11,470 --> 00:04:13,104
you will be pushed
to your absolute limits.
118
00:04:13,105 --> 00:04:15,640
And then you have
to get over this.
119
00:04:17,009 --> 00:04:19,043
We call it the Devastator.
120
00:04:19,044 --> 00:04:21,012
Just look like monkey bars.
121
00:04:21,013 --> 00:04:22,680
After two days
with no food, no sleep
122
00:04:22,681 --> 00:04:24,349
and 70 pounds on your back,
123
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:26,851
those bars will make a monkey
out of you.
124
00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:29,120
Ready to dominate,
Sergeant Major.
125
00:04:29,121 --> 00:04:30,855
Oh, hey, Sergeant Perez.
Did you come to wish us luck
126
00:04:30,856 --> 00:04:31,856
at Ranger training?
127
00:04:31,857 --> 00:04:33,291
No, dummy.
128
00:04:33,292 --> 00:04:36,094
The Army's accepting female
Ranger candidates by 2016,
129
00:04:36,095 --> 00:04:38,763
and I plan to be the first woman
on the bus to Fort Benning.
130
00:04:38,764 --> 00:04:42,233
Blazing a trail for all annoying
people regardless of gender.
131
00:04:42,234 --> 00:04:44,602
Aw, cranky old Grandpa Ranger's
giving me the business.
132
00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:45,837
Zip it.
133
00:04:45,838 --> 00:04:47,672
In Ranger training,
we support each other.
134
00:04:47,673 --> 00:04:51,342
Unless you all quit,
and then I'm watching my shows.
135
00:04:51,343 --> 00:04:52,677
Okay, Sergeant Perez is here.
136
00:04:52,678 --> 00:04:55,513
Jill... Perez.
137
00:04:55,514 --> 00:04:57,181
The woman. Chica.
138
00:04:57,182 --> 00:04:58,850
But she's not just a woman.
139
00:04:58,851 --> 00:05:02,153
A woman. That's not all
any of us are in this world.
140
00:05:02,154 --> 00:05:03,555
The World Is Not Enough.
141
00:05:03,556 --> 00:05:05,056
You Only Live Twice.
142
00:05:05,057 --> 00:05:06,357
When does the nonsense stop?
143
00:05:06,358 --> 00:05:07,892
Quantum of Solace!
144
00:05:07,893 --> 00:05:09,327
What the hell's
that all about?
145
00:05:09,328 --> 00:05:10,261
Randy, what are you doing?
146
00:05:10,262 --> 00:05:11,529
Getting a head start!
147
00:05:14,199 --> 00:05:15,633
Mommy.
148
00:05:17,102 --> 00:05:19,704
The kitchen sink
is backed up again.
149
00:05:19,705 --> 00:05:21,906
There's water everywhere.
150
00:05:21,907 --> 00:05:23,174
I'll call your dad.
151
00:05:23,175 --> 00:05:25,176
Or... I-I could
take a look at it.
152
00:05:25,177 --> 00:05:28,379
Oh. Do you...
do things like that?
153
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:30,548
Unclogging things
is kind of my specialty.
154
00:05:30,549 --> 00:05:32,750
Really? Uh-huh.
It's a weird specialty.
155
00:05:32,751 --> 00:05:34,619
Don't ask too many questions,
okay? Just let me do this.
156
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:35,720
Knock yourself out.
157
00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,622
I probably will.
158
00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:50,201
Come on!
159
00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:55,607
Ow.
160
00:06:00,112 --> 00:06:01,579
Hey, buddy, tag me in.
161
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:03,214
Brandon came by
to drop off
162
00:06:03,215 --> 00:06:05,483
some chili, so I figured
maybe he could...
163
00:06:05,484 --> 00:06:06,751
Yeah, that's great.
164
00:06:06,752 --> 00:06:07,952
Thanks for coming.
165
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:09,787
You know, this is
just his thing.
166
00:06:09,788 --> 00:06:12,490
Yeah. Shouldn't take
too long at all.
167
00:06:12,491 --> 00:06:13,925
All right.
168
00:06:13,926 --> 00:06:16,227
I don't see
why that's necessary.
169
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,347
Buddy, it's a marathon,
not a sprint. Slow down.
170
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,782
Just trying
to stay ahead of Jill.
171
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,617
Is that why you freaked out
back there?
172
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,552
'Cause women are
gonna be Rangers.
173
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,554
As annoying as Jill is,
we got to put up with her.
174
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,990
What if I want to put up with
her for the rest of my life?
175
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,892
Hold on. What?
176
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,062
Pete, I'm in love with Jill.
177
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,433
- Oh, I get it.
- Yeah.
178
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,507
You're dehydrated.
179
00:06:42,508 --> 00:06:44,014
Just sit down, put your head
between your knees,
180
00:06:44,015 --> 00:06:44,837
I'll get you a shiny blanket.
181
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,439
Are you dismissing my emotions?
182
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,107
No, no, no. Yeah, definitely.
183
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,709
These are stupid emotions.
184
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,744
Remember when I helped Jill
impress General Murray?
185
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,012
- Yeah.
- Afterwards, we had
186
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,014
this moment that the angels
are still talking about
187
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,749
at the watercoolers in Heaven.
188
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,451
Thank you so much
for your help, Private.
189
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,220
Of course, any... time.
190
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,122
Oh, no.
191
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,457
And?
192
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,525
And now I don't know how to act
in front of her,
193
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,927
and so I have to keep running.
194
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,196
Anaranjado.
195
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,330
Keep up, losers!
196
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,665
Cody said we got to
support each other,
197
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,933
but it's gonna be real hard
198
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,201
when you're so far
behind me!
199
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,202
Ha, ha, ha!
200
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,937
Ha, ha, ha! 'Kay!
201
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,772
You're right!
We are losers! Good-bye!
202
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,275
So stupid, man. See?
She got me flustered.
203
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,144
I alw... I-I didn't have
a witty comeback.
204
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,780
- I always have a witty comeback.
- You never have a witty comeback.
205
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,715
My pulse is racing,
I'm sweating profusely
206
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,250
and I feel really sick
to my stomach.
207
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,587
You're running in Florida an
hour after you ate 37 waffles.
208
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,956
- Competing theory.
- This isn't real, Randy.
209
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,791
Listen to your big brother.
It's all in your head.
210
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,959
It'll pass.
211
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,761
Maybe I am just confused.
212
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:44,697
Like when I ate that Japanese candy
that turned out to be hotel soap.
213
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,599
It's exactly like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
214
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,935
I guess I just liked her 'cause
she seems so perfect for you.
215
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,271
You do always like
girls I like, but Jill?
216
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,140
- What, you don't think she's pretty?
- She's pretty.
217
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,542
- You don't think she's smart?
- Probably smarter than me.
218
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:57,977
Plus, she gives
as good as she gets.
219
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,378
She doesn't let you
get away with anything,
220
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,147
which is tough to take
but exactly what you need.
221
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,615
And she's
a badass soldier.
222
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,350
Then she takes off
her helmet,
223
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,452
and her strawberry-scented hair
comes tumbling down
224
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,654
and you realize
she's all woman.
225
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,922
What more
could a man want?
226
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,458
What more could a man
possibly ask for?
227
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,260
Pete?
228
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,095
You look dehydrated.
229
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,465
Okay, Derrick,
what's with the emergency text?
230
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,967
Yeah man, we were in the
middle of a drum circle.
231
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,235
Yes, I'm sorry I interrupted
all of your awesome
232
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,637
weekend plans,
but my relationship is doomed
233
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,105
unless you stay here
and help me.
234
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,307
I already doused myself in
possum urine, bro. I know.
235
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,109
- We all know.
- Yeah, it's really potent.
236
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,811
Actually an improvement.
237
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,647
Guys, I'm just afraid Erin will
go back with her ex-husband
238
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,515
because he's "more of a man"
than me.
239
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,117
That is completely
understandable.
240
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,286
- That guy's hot.
- Yeah, I'd go back to him in a heartbeat.
241
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:41,287
Why is she even with you?
242
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:45,257
I need you to help me...
243
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,826
be a man.
244
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,861
Huh.
245
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,397
Do you need a male
enhancement product?
246
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,032
Legal or otherwise?
247
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,967
No. No, I need skills...
248
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,268
plumbing, car repairs,
249
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,937
making a meal that doesn't come
out of a freezer.
250
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,238
These are skills
the Army teaches,
251
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,140
things I could have learned,
but just chose not to.
252
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,942
Say it on the djembe.
253
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,111
That's why I'm coming to you,
because you're not just
254
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:08,114
Rear D soldiers, you're...
255
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,049
superheroes.
256
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,417
Oh.
257
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,518
I like that.
258
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:14,820
Private Ruiz,
259
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,155
he can diagnose
260
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,091
any plumbing problem just
by the sound of the pipes.
261
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,128
They tell me their secrets.
262
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,529
Private Park can
shape a topiary cow
263
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,599
so realistic you could
sell it as beef.
264
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,704
I have small hands
and terrifying dreams.
265
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,339
Private Gumble's work
in the chow hall
266
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,108
has made him into
a world-class chef.
267
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,144
The plate is my canvas.
268
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,246
MSG, my paint.
269
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,882
And finally, Private Dobkiss.
270
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,685
In the motor pool, he's known
as the master mechanic.
271
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,723
I can get you boner pills.
272
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,125
- Seriously.
- Glad you're all on board.
273
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,360
Now, tomorrow...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
274
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,461
What's in it for us?
275
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:57,930
What could you possibly mean?
I mean...
276
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,498
Superheroes don't ask
"what's in it" for them,
277
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,634
They do what's best for
their fellow man out of
278
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,369
the goodness of their own hearts...
279
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,236
Okay, I'll pay you!
280
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,005
Yeah!
281
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,374
No, seriously,
282
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,542
when can I expect payment?
283
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,051
Day two's gonna be
a lot harder than day one.
284
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,823
Time!
285
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,024
You all qualified.
286
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,225
Yes!
287
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,560
Great for you, but
I'm missing my shows.
288
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:30,763
Nobody ever thinks about
what Cody wants.
289
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,632
I want this so bad
I can taste it.
290
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,934
Mm. I can also taste
a little bit of mud.
291
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,249
You all right, Pete?
Huh?
292
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,951
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
293
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,321
I smell like a bag
of hot garbage.
294
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,335
What is happening?
295
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,771
What is happening?
296
00:11:15,339 --> 00:11:17,207
In a world torn apart
by madness,
297
00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:19,476
a charismatic leader
has gathered the world's
298
00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:21,544
greatest heroes
to save a relationship
299
00:11:21,545 --> 00:11:22,779
from certain doom.
300
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:23,780
Where's our money?
301
00:11:23,781 --> 00:11:24,914
You get paid at the end.
302
00:11:24,915 --> 00:11:25,949
Now, we've got three hours
303
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:26,950
before Erin comes home.
304
00:11:26,951 --> 00:11:28,718
Soldier-heroes,
305
00:11:28,719 --> 00:11:31,688
let justice be your compass.
306
00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:33,523
Ho-ho, I was excited
until just now.
307
00:11:33,524 --> 00:11:35,091
Worst catchphrase in history.
308
00:11:35,092 --> 00:11:36,626
Go!
309
00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:50,106
Ah, just as I suspected.
310
00:11:50,107 --> 00:11:54,344
Someone flushed plastic
Army men down the toilet.
311
00:11:55,479 --> 00:11:57,013
Case closed.
312
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,928
A surgeon cuts to heal.
313
00:12:11,929 --> 00:12:14,230
Shing!
314
00:12:17,234 --> 00:12:18,435
Food.
315
00:12:24,175 --> 00:12:25,341
Whoops.
316
00:12:25,342 --> 00:12:27,377
I had it upside down.
317
00:12:29,513 --> 00:12:31,881
Erin's brake lines have been
cut, just like you wanted.
318
00:12:31,882 --> 00:12:33,249
Wait, what?
That's not what I...
319
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:34,517
I'm just
kidding, dawg.
320
00:12:34,518 --> 00:12:36,286
That's for the end
of the relationship.
321
00:12:36,287 --> 00:12:37,520
She's all tuned up.
322
00:12:37,521 --> 00:12:39,055
Well, I like the cape.
323
00:12:39,056 --> 00:12:40,423
I'm a soldier-hero, dawg.
324
00:12:40,424 --> 00:12:41,658
Away!
325
00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:45,762
Okay, she's gonna be here soon;
let's wrap it up!
326
00:12:48,899 --> 00:12:50,567
I actually... I just have
a few plating instructions.
327
00:12:50,568 --> 00:12:51,568
No, go.
You see, we eat first
328
00:12:51,569 --> 00:12:53,103
with our eyes, which is...
329
00:12:53,104 --> 00:12:55,472
Okay, just promise me
you'll hand-tear the cilantro...
330
00:12:56,474 --> 00:12:57,874
For the love of God...
331
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,776
I'm home. In the kitchen.
332
00:13:03,547 --> 00:13:04,948
Wow.
333
00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:07,951
Oh, this? Yeah.
334
00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:24,801
You all right, Pete?
335
00:13:24,802 --> 00:13:27,070
Yeah, yeah. I just forgot
how hard this is.
336
00:13:27,071 --> 00:13:28,872
No, I mean, back
at the worm pit,
337
00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:30,874
you seemed a
little... weird.
338
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:31,908
No, I'm fine.
339
00:13:32,943 --> 00:13:34,410
Are you sure?
340
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:41,851
All right.
341
00:13:41,852 --> 00:13:44,421
Okay, I've been thinking
about what you said about Jill.
342
00:13:44,422 --> 00:13:46,489
I can't believe I'm actually
gonna say this, but...
343
00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:48,158
I think I might be into her.
344
00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:51,327
Oh!
345
00:13:51,328 --> 00:13:54,330
You hit Pete!
And you let him do it!
346
00:13:54,331 --> 00:13:56,166
What the hell, Randy?!
347
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:59,936
I'm so sorry! And I'm
mad and in love and sad!
348
00:13:59,937 --> 00:14:01,805
I'm all the feelings
except happy!
349
00:14:01,806 --> 00:14:03,339
I cannot believe
that you just hit me!
350
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,675
I can't believe you
told me not to like Jill
351
00:14:05,676 --> 00:14:07,177
because you like her!
352
00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:08,678
That is not what happened!
353
00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:10,914
She wasn't even on my radar
until you laid out a case
354
00:14:10,915 --> 00:14:12,248
of why we're perfect
for each other.
355
00:14:12,249 --> 00:14:13,950
Why am I so persuasive?!
356
00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:16,319
- Calm down, Randy.
- Not until you back off.
357
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,588
Well, I don't think I can now!
She blew snot on the ground,
358
00:14:18,589 --> 00:14:19,989
and it gave me the feelings!
359
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:23,193
Then I guess this competition
just got competitive.
360
00:14:23,194 --> 00:14:24,027
Oh, it did!
361
00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:26,296
But this time,
I'm not gonna cry!
362
00:14:26,297 --> 00:14:27,831
You are crying right now!
363
00:14:27,832 --> 00:14:29,632
You're crying right now!
364
00:14:32,603 --> 00:14:34,838
He is not good at comebacks.
365
00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:38,007
Well, that was amazing.
With the cilantro?
366
00:14:38,008 --> 00:14:41,945
Hand-torn because you eat
with your eyes first.
367
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:43,613
Hey, what do we say, Sam?
368
00:14:43,614 --> 00:14:45,181
Thank you.
369
00:14:45,182 --> 00:14:46,783
You're welcome, buddy.
370
00:14:46,784 --> 00:14:49,819
And thanks for doing...
371
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:52,155
I don't know, everything else.
372
00:14:52,156 --> 00:14:56,693
I feel like the queen of
this run-down tract home.
373
00:14:56,694 --> 00:14:59,529
Good.
374
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,967
Sounds like
375
00:15:03,968 --> 00:15:05,235
the washer again.
376
00:15:05,236 --> 00:15:06,569
Brandon just fixed that.
377
00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:07,804
Seriously?
378
00:15:07,805 --> 00:15:09,672
You know this house
is a piece of junk, right?
379
00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:15,879
All right, you've been at it
for two days.
380
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,580
You're hot,
381
00:15:17,581 --> 00:15:18,882
stanky,
382
00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:21,017
and it's time
for hand-to-hand combat.
383
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:23,086
Take your opponent
to the ground!
384
00:15:23,087 --> 00:15:23,987
Hooah.
385
00:15:23,988 --> 00:15:25,321
Hooah.
386
00:15:25,322 --> 00:15:27,157
The winner carries the
loser around the pit
387
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:30,660
as a symbol of our duty never
to leave a Ranger behind.
388
00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:32,062
You hear that, Pete?
389
00:15:32,063 --> 00:15:33,863
Try not to get carried away.
390
00:15:33,864 --> 00:15:36,066
- That one actually works.
- What works?
391
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,668
Ready? Full speed. Execute!
392
00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:46,609
Oh!
Oh, my God!
393
00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:49,612
I won! The first time I won!
I am immortal!
394
00:15:49,613 --> 00:15:51,247
You didn't win anything.
I'm not all the way down!
395
00:15:51,248 --> 00:15:52,682
Okay, soldier.
396
00:15:52,683 --> 00:15:54,617
Carry the loser
around the pit.
397
00:15:56,954 --> 00:15:58,722
- What are you doing, Pete?
- Sergeant Hill, what are you doing?
398
00:15:58,723 --> 00:16:00,590
Winning as I'm accustomed to.
399
00:16:00,591 --> 00:16:03,126
- Just shut up and let me carry you.
- No!
400
00:16:03,127 --> 00:16:05,095
- Let me carry you!
- No, I'll never let you carry me.
401
00:16:05,096 --> 00:16:07,464
I will carry you!
402
00:16:07,465 --> 00:16:08,732
- I'm carrying you.
- I've got you.
403
00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:09,733
- I got you first.
- Nut slam!
404
00:16:09,734 --> 00:16:11,201
Ow! Ooh!
405
00:16:14,071 --> 00:16:16,039
God, it's cold!
Oh, God!
406
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,308
What the hell?!
407
00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:19,709
I'm still carrying you.
408
00:16:21,245 --> 00:16:24,147
So, what are you
gonna make tomorrow night?
409
00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:30,553
Hey, buddy. What you
doing with the washer?
410
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:31,821
Nothing.
411
00:16:41,298 --> 00:16:44,495
Sam, have you been
breaking stuff
412
00:16:44,496 --> 00:16:46,336
around the house so your
dad will come and fix it?
413
00:16:46,337 --> 00:16:48,138
Maybe.
414
00:16:56,347 --> 00:16:58,348
I totally get that.
415
00:17:02,743 --> 00:17:04,448
So let me get this straight.
416
00:17:04,449 --> 00:17:06,545
Sergeant Perez blows some snot
on the ground,
417
00:17:06,546 --> 00:17:08,431
and you two bozos think
you're falling in love with her?
418
00:17:08,432 --> 00:17:10,791
- I liked her first.
- He sold me on a vision!
419
00:17:10,792 --> 00:17:12,784
- You tricked me into...
- You told me she was...
420
00:17:12,785 --> 00:17:14,724
- Oh, hell! Stop. Ooh.
- Okay, all right, I hate her.
421
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:17,747
You two are so far out of line,
I don't know where to start!
422
00:17:17,748 --> 00:17:19,291
If you pulled this
crap in the field,
423
00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:20,458
someone could
get hurt.
424
00:17:20,459 --> 00:17:22,661
Or worse!
Do you hear me?
425
00:17:23,796 --> 00:17:24,829
Do you hear me?!
426
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,031
Yes, Sergeant Major.
427
00:17:26,032 --> 00:17:28,133
And these so-called
feelings you're having?
428
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,501
Garbage!
429
00:17:29,502 --> 00:17:31,036
Romance has no place here!
430
00:17:31,037 --> 00:17:32,871
You're soldiers!
She's a soldier!
431
00:17:32,872 --> 00:17:34,873
That's it.
Anything else
432
00:17:34,874 --> 00:17:37,709
makes a complete mockery of
everything the Rangers stand for!
433
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,111
I should throw you both
out on your ass!
434
00:17:40,112 --> 00:17:41,713
You're right,
Sergeant Major.
435
00:17:41,714 --> 00:17:43,682
Sorry, Sergeant Major.
436
00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:46,551
While you've been working out
your Jane Austen nonsense,
437
00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:48,253
you've completely overlooked
438
00:17:48,254 --> 00:17:50,121
that you're leaving
a fellow soldier behind.
439
00:17:51,457 --> 00:17:53,725
Damn it!
440
00:17:53,726 --> 00:17:57,996
On the upside, it turns out
your house isn't cursed.
441
00:17:57,997 --> 00:17:58,863
Wow.
442
00:17:58,864 --> 00:18:00,699
Yeah. I'm sorry.
443
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,201
I need to make sure
he sees his dad more.
444
00:18:03,202 --> 00:18:05,136
It's just, Brandon's
been away for so long,
445
00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:07,505
Sam gets nervous about
when he's gonna see him again.
446
00:18:07,506 --> 00:18:10,709
No. Obviously, it's best
if I stop fixing things.
447
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,544
And cooking things.
448
00:18:12,545 --> 00:18:15,413
But thank you
for all that you did.
449
00:18:20,853 --> 00:18:23,655
Oh, by the way,
Dobkiss left his wallet,
450
00:18:23,656 --> 00:18:26,591
a crossbow and a vial
of boner pills in my car.
451
00:18:33,099 --> 00:18:34,299
Come on, you got this!
452
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,201
You can do this,
Sergeant Perez!
453
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,603
Come on, don't give up.
You got this.
454
00:18:38,604 --> 00:18:39,738
Come on, you got this!
455
00:18:39,739 --> 00:18:41,673
Damn! Come on! Come on!
456
00:18:41,674 --> 00:18:44,746
I can't do it!
457
00:18:44,747 --> 00:18:45,243
- Come on, yes, you can.
- I'm done.
458
00:18:45,244 --> 00:18:46,878
Let's go. Let's go. Stop it!
459
00:18:46,879 --> 00:18:50,982
I know I talk a lot of crap, but I think
it's time to admit that I just...
460
00:18:50,983 --> 00:18:54,185
I can't hack it.
461
00:18:55,755 --> 00:18:58,757
Hey.
462
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,458
Somebody's gonna be
the first female Ranger.
463
00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:02,093
That's right.
464
00:19:02,094 --> 00:19:03,628
She's either
out there somewhere,
465
00:19:03,629 --> 00:19:06,264
or she's right here
in front of us.
466
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:10,869
Hooah.
467
00:19:13,339 --> 00:19:15,140
We're right here with you,
Sergeant Perez!
468
00:19:15,141 --> 00:19:16,374
Let's go. You got this.
469
00:19:25,117 --> 00:19:26,751
- Don't give up, soldier!
- Let's go!
470
00:19:26,752 --> 00:19:27,619
Come on, soldier.
471
00:19:32,558 --> 00:19:33,458
- Almost there!
- Just reach out.
472
00:19:33,459 --> 00:19:34,259
One more!
473
00:19:46,472 --> 00:19:47,572
Yes!
Yes!
474
00:19:47,573 --> 00:19:49,674
- Congratulations, Sergeant Perez!
- Yeah!
475
00:19:49,675 --> 00:19:51,943
I love you guys!
476
00:19:53,646 --> 00:19:54,980
It's no big deal, bro.
477
00:19:54,981 --> 00:19:56,014
Good job, dude.
478
00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:06,257
As you can see, the future
of the Rangers lies with you.
479
00:20:08,628 --> 00:20:10,128
When did you know?
480
00:20:10,129 --> 00:20:11,429
Oh, right away.
481
00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:13,665
Right. I was getting
fancy desserts,
482
00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:15,000
and my toilet was flushing.
483
00:20:15,001 --> 00:20:17,002
Figured I'd ride that
train as long as I could.
484
00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:19,204
Great.
So, um...
485
00:20:19,205 --> 00:20:21,306
need to bring up
something uncomfortable.
486
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,208
Let me guess. You want me
to bounce these guys?
487
00:20:23,209 --> 00:20:24,676
I love you, brother.
488
00:20:24,677 --> 00:20:25,977
I love you, brother.
489
00:20:25,978 --> 00:20:27,412
And I respect you.
490
00:20:27,413 --> 00:20:28,813
I respect you, too.
491
00:20:28,814 --> 00:20:30,982
- I beat you.
- That's where we're gonna part ways.
492
00:20:30,983 --> 00:20:33,685
My shoulder was not down.
493
00:20:33,686 --> 00:20:35,120
Arm wrestle settles it.
494
00:20:35,121 --> 00:20:37,522
Bring it!
495
00:20:39,759 --> 00:20:41,726
Idiots.
496
00:20:41,727 --> 00:20:45,497
So, Brandon called, and
he's being transferred.
497
00:20:45,498 --> 00:20:47,065
Oh.
498
00:20:47,066 --> 00:20:49,301
To Fort Lewis.
499
00:20:49,302 --> 00:20:53,505
That's in Washington... state.
500
00:20:55,074 --> 00:20:57,976
It's literally the furthest
diagonal from here.
501
00:20:57,977 --> 00:20:59,744
I really like you, Derrick,
502
00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:02,047
but you'd be the only
thing keeping me here.
503
00:21:02,048 --> 00:21:03,848
I can bartend anywhere.
504
00:21:03,849 --> 00:21:06,151
And Sam and his dad...
505
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,654
I don't know what to do.
506
00:21:11,691 --> 00:21:14,092
Uh... yeah, you do.
507
00:21:14,093 --> 00:21:15,527
It's-it's okay.
508
00:21:15,528 --> 00:21:17,896
It's okay.
509
00:21:17,897 --> 00:21:20,732
Don't look at them.
510
00:21:21,767 --> 00:21:22,901
Don't look at them.
511
00:21:24,437 --> 00:21:26,504
Just us?
512
00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:32,811
It's just us.
36470
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
