All language subtitles for Eat.that.Question.Frank.Zappa.in.His.Own.Words.2016

MAN: How does
this camera look?

Is it nice?

Okay, how about this?

How about saying,
"Hi, this is Frank Zappa.

"I guess... I... I guess you
don't have anything better

"to do tonight, huh?"

I mean, assuming that
they've flicked on the set

and they're sitting there,
absorbing the rays.

Mmm-hmm.

MAN: "Well,
you might as well sit back
and watch Take Off, then."

All of that?

MAN: Yeah.

Oh, you don't have to say
the stuff about the rays.

That's parenthetical.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Say it again?
(WOMAN LAUGHS)

MAN: Um...

Something like,
"Hi, this is Frank Zappa.

"I guess you don't have
anything better to
do tonight, huh?"

Yeah. Ready?

Hi.

This is Frank Zappa.

I guess you
don't have anything
better to do tonight, huh?

That's why you're
watching Take Off.

Huh?

Nothing better to do, huh?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello, we're
talking with Frank Zappa,

a musician, filmmaker,
an independent thinker,

and a personal
favorite of mine,

who's been in rock music
for almost two decades.

♪ Well, I'm about to get sick

♪ From watching my TV

♪ Been checking out the news
Until my eyeballs
fail to see...

Zappa is the leader of
perhaps the roughest and
farthest-out group

in the scene today,
the Mothers of Invention.

♪ Is anybody's guess... ♪

And ever since 1967,

he has left an explosive
trail of music

that has had one
constant throughout:

biting social commentary.

You're being
victimized right now.

Do you know it?

♪ That trouble
coming every day

♪ No way to delay that trouble
Coming every day... ♪

You have
a classical background.

That intrigues me.
Are you doing...

Not really.
I'm just... You know?

MAN: Frank Zappa
is one of the most

controversial modern composers
and musicians.

WOMAN: Zappa is perhaps
most famous for a style

of musical satire
involving
lavatorial expletives

and outrageous happenings.

Those are
the same people who say,

"Yeah, he eats shit on stage
and steps on baby chickens."

MAN: The distorted
mirror through which
we experience ourselves

and the neurotic, perverted
society that man has created.

♪ On his street
would take a turn... ♪

WOMAN: The guy who
sat on the toilet seat,

some kind of hairy
monster from the '60s.

Well, let's face it,
I sit on a toilet seat,
and so do you.

The only problem is that
somebody took my
picture while I was there.

♪ Every time I hear 'em

♪ Sayin' that
there's no way to delay

♪ That trouble
comin' every day... ♪

Zappa is irreverent.

Some people think he
is downright offensive.

What about this suggestion?

But I guarantee you this,
he absolutely
will not bore you

and he very well
may surprise you.

Well, hello.

Fuck the union.

Well, what does it all
add up to?

What is Frank Zappa about?

Well, I don't think that
anybody has ever seen
the real Frank Zappa,

because being
interviewed is one of
the most abnormal things

that you can do
to somebody else.

It's two steps removed
from the Inquisition.

(MUSICAL STATIC CRACKLING)

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
All right.
Oh, are you rolling?

MAN 1:
Uh, yep.
MAN 2: What?

You okay?
We can start? Okay.

It seems that,
uh, the business thing

is usually the thing that
drags most artists down,

but I hear you're
quite a great businessman.

Well, how have you managed
to survive so long?

Well, it is just a matter...
It's a matter of survival

more than, uh...
Um, success.

I have survived for 17 years.

Successfully? Survived?

I'm still in the business,
that's something.

Are you happy?

Oh, sure.
I love what I'm doing.

I have the best
job in the world.

If you had to define your job,
how would you define it?

Uh, I'm an entertainer.

(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)

Pure and simple.

Right.
Mmm-hmm.

Do you think
the kind of entertainment

that people are
craving now is much different

than it was when
you first emerged?

No. I don't think so.

There's several
different kinds of people
who listen to what we do.

You can't please 'em all.

I mean,
there are some people that
only like the earliest albums,

and they think
they're really true fans,

but actually they're
just fucked, you know?

They're just these
snotty little people

who don't really
understand what's going on.

These are the people
who know everything they know

about me from
Rolling Stone magazine.

People just crave
those early albums

and don't know anything about
what we're doing today.

Does that upset you?
Obviously, it's...

Well, I hate to see
anybody with a closed
mind on any topic.

So, I just feel sorry
that they're missing
out on a lot of good stuff

that's happened since 1967.

(DISCORDANT NOTES
AND RHYTHMS PLAYING)

ZAPPA:
Your mothers and fathers
are all drinking beer...

Watching...

They're watching Roller Derby,
and then they
change the channel.

And then they see
you guys on the floor,

and they say, "Oh, boy,
they're really sick."

I think I might be calling you
something that most of
America wouldn't call you.

They'd look upon
you as an exploiter.

Why an exploiter?

An exploiter of a...
Of a... Of a revolution...

Someone hoping to
sell tickets to a concert

on the basis of
a social revolution.

Did we ever advertise
that we were going to
promote a revolution,

display a revolution,
discuss a revolution,

or have anything
to do with a revolution
at a concert?

In many ways,
you epitomize the revolution.

Well, that has
nothing to do with the means

by which we
advertise a concert.

We advertise that
we're coming there to play.

The word gets around.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Plastic people

♪ You gotta go

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Plastic people

♪ You gotta go... ♪

(MUSIC STOPS)

Hey, that sounds like shit.

Frank, a few questions
that we'd like to
ask you this evening

come from high
school students, uh,
in southeast Pennsylvania.

And the first question
that we'd like to ask you is,

uh, how did you start out
in the music business,

and how old were you
when you first got started?

Well, the first time I ever
got paid for playing music

was when I was 15.

And I started
off as a drummer,

and before I
actually had a drum set,
I used to play, um...

I was rehearsing with
this rhythm and blues band.

We used to rehearse over
at this preacher's house,

and since I didn't
have any drums at all,

uh, I had to borrow two pots
from the kitchen,

and I used to put them
between my legs, like bongos,

and play on them
with the drumsticks,

and that's how I started off.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
I was reading about
the first time you ever

composed a piece of music.

And I don't know if it was
really a piece of music,

but you actually
went and you ruled out
the way it should look,

and you started drawing
the notes on the page...

Mmm-hmm.
That was a pretty great story.

Well...
What inspired you to do that?

I always thought music
looked nice on paper,

and since I had
a kind of interest in art

when I was a kid,
I could draw pretty good.

I used to draw dollar bills
and things like that.

They were the wrong color,
so I couldn't pass 'em,

'cause all I had was
pencils and white paper.

You know, I couldn't
get the green right.

But, uh...
(LAUGHS)

I figured, well,
if I could just draw those
things on the paper,

then you hand
it to a musician,

and a musician
knows how to read it,

and then he can play it,
so that's what I did.

And then I
started drawing music.

I hadn't the faintest idea
what it sounded like.

(LAUGHS) So the music came
before the lyrics.

Oh, yeah. I didn't
write a rock-and-roll song

until I was about
21 or 22 years old.

Or any song with
any lyrics to it.

And prior to that time,
the only thing
that I was writing

was chamber music
and orchestra music.

I started when I was 14.

STEVE ALLEN:
You play a bicycle?

I... Yeah.

Are you in
the musician's union?

Uh, no.

Do you play any
other musical instrument?

Anything more
conventional, perhaps.

Guitar, vibes,
bass and drums.

How long have you
been playing bike,
uh, Frank?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

About two weeks.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

He probably was selling
insurance or something,

and he thought,
"What's something real jerky

"that'll get me on
The Steve Allen Show?"

Playing bicycle.
What could be
sillier than that?

And he did it,
and here we are.

That's probably
how it happened.

You really only
been playing two weeks?

Yes.

What do you do ordinarily,
besides this?

I'm a composer.
Ah!

Now, the whole idea that
we're going to, uh, do here

in this improvised
concerto for two bicycles,

a pre-recorded tape,
and the musicians in the back,

is that you're supposed to
express yourself freely,

without any kind of, uh...

You have to let
your front down and...

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)
All right.

Now, the tape is
pre-recorded electric noises
that, uh, I stuck together.

But now the...
The way we work this is,

when the man in
the control booth
feels moved

to add his electronic
part to our work here,

he will throw a little switch,
which just lets some
of this noise through,

and then I requested
the musicians that,

if they feel so moved,
make any noise
possible on their instrument.

No... Try to refrain
from musical tones.

And, in fact...
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

They won't have any
trouble with that order.

(SCREECHING,
BLEATING, TOOTING)

(CLATTERING)

(BLEATING, TOOTING)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MAN: Bravo!

I must say that I am
always in favor of
enlarging the horizons,

at least in
peering anxiously
beyond the horizons

of any field of human
endeavor or interest,

and, therefore,
I, uh, congratulate you
on your farsightedness.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

And as for your music,
don't ever do it
around here again.

Some people like to
be a carpenter, you know.

They're interested
in working with their hands,

or they... Or they're
interested in electronics.

They like to
solder wires together.

Or they're artists,
or they're something.

That's their
field of interest.

Unfortunately,
I like to play music.

Now, when you want
to play music

and you want to earn a living
from playing music,

you have to work
under the conditions

that the environment
imposes on you.

They don't make it easy
for you to be a musician.

They don't, uh...

In the United
States especially,

musicians are
generally regarded as sort of

useless adjuncts
to the society,

unless they do
something creative like

write a Coca-Cola jingle,
and then they'll be accepted.

But musicians
usually are regarded

as sort of
the scum of the earth,

and so, if you want to,
uh, be a musician,

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

you just have to
realize before you start

that nobody is
really gonna care.

Wait a minute.
It's time to hype an album.

TALK HOST: Oh, okay, go ahead.

This particular project
has been very expensive.

This is our third album.
Can you see it?

Have you got
a picture of it,
so we can all see it?

ZAPPA: It's called
We're Only in
It for the Money.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(SONG PLAYING)

♪ We are the other people
We are the other people

♪ We are the other people

♪ You're the other people, too

♪ Found a way to get to you

♪ Do you think that I'm crazy

♪ Out of my mind?

♪ Do you think that
I creep in the night

♪ And sleep in a phone booth?

♪ Let me take
a minute to tell you my plan

♪ Let me take
a minute and tell who I am

♪ If it doesn't show,
think you better know

♪ I'm another person... ♪

All of a sudden,
your music is selling
and making a lot of money.

You dig the bread?

I think that
it's very pleasant,

but I'd like to
see some of it.

You're not getting any of it?
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Well,
it seems to take a long time
getting there, you know?

Record companies have
a peculiar way of making sure

that your expenses always
exceed your profits.

Oh, it's very...

You know how they
do that, don't you?

Yeah, I know how they do that.

And don't you get
a feeling that now,

with your records
moving up in the charts,

you're moving into
the establishment very much?

Oh, I don't know.

I've been hearing that.

Do I look like I'm
moving into the establishment
very much?

Before that,
you never got your music

heard by anybody,
isn't that correct?

Absolutely true.
Okay.

Nobody cared.
Nobody cared.

And now...
And they still don't care,

but they pay for it.
Right.

Well, you know who's buying
the albums, don't you?

Yes, I do.
I've examined my
market rather thoroughly.

And who's buying it?

That's none
of your business.
Okay.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

But then, isn't it...
The minute you look at you,

don't you get a feeling
that you're part of
the hippie establishment?

Just because of the looks.
Maybe.

I'm not talking about
what you say or do,
or how you play.

You're very packaging
oriented, aren't you?

Yeah. I think
everybody is, to a degree.

That you look, when somebody
sees you for the first time,

as part of
the hippie establishment.

Or worse.
Or worse, right?

Yeah. Yeah.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

All right,
let me ask you this, Frank.

You want to be
a serious musician, I assume.

I've always wanted to
be a serious musician.

And where are you
going from here,

besides the bizarre that
you're doing at this point?

I mean, where are you
going to go from here,

and what do you
want to achieve,
at this point now?

Well, I think one thing
that I'd like to do

is to not work.

Not work.
Yes.

In any field? Not write?

For a while.

I'd like to write,
but that's not work.

Meaning composing
isn't working.

No.

Well, isn't that
what you're going to do
for a livelihood, eventually?

People don't
compose for a livelihood,

especially in
the United States.

(PLAYING)

The composition end of, uh,
my musical experience

started in high school,

when I heard
an album by Edgard Varese.

I said,
"Boy, that sounds great.

"I have to
write some of that."

I also got ahold of an album
called The Rite of Spring.

It was on
a little cheapo label.

Little $1.98 thing.

And that excited me, too.

I thought, "Boy, if anybody
could make a missing link

"between Edgard Varese
and Igor Stravinsky,
that'd be pretty nifty."

And then somebody turned me on
to an album of music

by Anton Webern,
and I said, "Wow!

"If anybody could
get a missing link

"between Igor Stravinsky,
Anton Webern,

"and Edgard Varese,
that'd be really spiffy."

Then I heard what some of
the stuff sounded like
that I'd been writing,

and it was so ugly
that I decided to go backwards

and get into
the melodic area again.

And then people started
telling me that my melodies
were ugly, so...

I guess I'm successful.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

And bang, here we are
with the Mothers of Invention,

so now it's going
to be a bit special.

It's an American pop music
band which is connected
with pop in a certain way,

by jazz, rhythm 'n' blues
and blues.

But their leader Frank Zappa
that you'll see later on
and who is noticeable,

is interested
in contemporary music,

and while their stage attitude
might shock, it matches
very well their music.

(MELODY, RHYTHM
AND VOCALIZATIONS PLAYING)

(VOCALIZING IN
HIGH-PITCHED TONES)

(SHOUTS)

(RHYTHM CONTINUES)

(SHOUTS)

(RHYTHM CONTINUES)

(MELODIC GROANING)

(RHYTHM CONTINUES,
ZAPPA COUNTS SILENTLY)

(VOCALIZATIONS STOP)

(BAND PLAYING
DISCORDANT ROCK MUSIC)

(TEMPO SLOWS)

(SPEAKING DANISH)

Eccentric.

It's the new style.

In 20 years this music
is going to be classical.

You cannot define his music.
What he does is anti-music.

How to define his music?

He doesn't give a fuck
about the establishment.

When you founded your
record producing company,

it was more or
less a reaction to

censorship problems
with the big companies...

Yeah, MGM.
MGM.

Because they had been
actually tampering with my...

I would finish an album
and give them the tapes,

and they would take the tapes
into another secret room

and cut things out of it.
(INTERVIEWER SCOFFS)

You know.
That's what happened to the

We're Only in It
for the Money album.

(CLEARS THROAT)
To give you an example

of what censorship was
like at this company,

one of the lines
that they cut out,

it took me years to find out
why this line was removed.

But in the song
Let's Make
the Water Turn Black,

there's a line that says,
"And I still remember Mama,

"with her apron and her pad

"feeding all
the boys at Ed's Cafe."

And this is a song
about these two boys

in this town that
I knew, and it's...

Their mother was
a waitress in a cafe.

And I couldn't understand
why they took this line out.

Two years later,
in hushed whispers,

an executive from
the company told me

that the pad was supposed
to be a sanitary napkin.

(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)
And they were upset

that there was
a reference to such
a device in this album.

And so they told one of the
engineers at their company

to remove the line.

(INTERVIEWER MUTTERS)

I heard that the
professor at the Wayne
University in Detroit

has done a study of profanity
in the English language,

and he has discovered that,
uh, statistically,

the three most popular words
in the English language,

especially in
the United States, are,

"Uh," "Uh," and "Uh."

And, uh...
(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)

I'll save you the trouble of
pushing that button upstairs.

And, uh, I think it's amazing
that so many people

ascribe magical
properties to these words.

Don't you think, in a way,
Frank, that it takes...

It takes
a lively sense of guilt
to make sin fun or enjoyable,

and society decides for itself
what will be sinful?

Yeah, well,
the worst part of all this is

while society is being duped
by all these, uh, maneuvers,

they have so little chance
of escaping that cycle,
you know.

Just can't get out of it.

They'll just keep
on being fooled.

If you talk to
someone on the TV, um,

this isn't only the person
Frank Zappa talking there,

but for the audience at least,

it associates the
record company
owner Frank Zappa,

the Mother of Invention
leader Frank Zappa,

the man perhaps
who's interesting...

Interested to
promote his records.

What other images are there?

There might be
a couple people who
think of me as a composer.

INTERVIEWER: Mmm-hmm.

An isolated minority perhaps.

Some people
think that I'm, uh,
some sort of political rebel.

Isn't it strange
the fantasies
that people have?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

You had one very negative
experience in Berlin...

Yes, I did.

Could you perhaps
tell about that?

Yes.

We arrived in Berlin,
and we set up our equipment

at the Sportpalast.

And some students
came over there,
and they said,

"We would like to
have you help us
with a political action."

And they wanted to set fire
to the allied command center.

And I said, "I don't think
that is good mental health."

The minute we came onstage,
about 200 students got up

and they were waving
red banners and
they were shouting,

"Ho-Ho-Ho Chi Minh."

And they're blowing horns,
and they were
throwing things on the stage,

and they were calling us
"The Mothers of Reaction,"

and they tried to
ruin the concert.

And a few hundred people
were coming toward the stage,

so I increased
the volume of the music.

And this noise was
so loud and so ugly

that it was actually
pushing them back.

It was like
a science fiction story.

Meanwhile,
there's all the other

thousands of people who are
sitting there looking around.

They didn't know
whether it was
part of the show

that we had put together.
(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)

They thought it was, you know,
something that we might do.

(MUSIC STOPS)

There were reports
that you called these
students fascists and...

I did. Yeah.

Because I think that
there's definitely
a fascistic element,

not only in
the left wing in Germany,
but in the United States, too.

Any sort of
political ideology that
doesn't allow for the rights,

and doesn't take
into consideration

the differences that
people have is wrong.

I won't go for it.

I don't care what kind
of label you stick on it.

(PIANO PLAYING GENTLE MUSIC)

♪ This town, this town

♪ Is a sealed tuna sandwich

♪ Sealed tuna sandwich

♪ With the wrapper glued... ♪

(SINGING SOFTLY)

ZAPPA: There's this
piece that I had written

over a period of years
while touring
with The Mothers.

It's called 200 Motels,
and the reason
it's called 200 Motels

is because all the sketches
were done either in airports

or in the hotel
rooms or on the planes

or just traveling around,
so it's like a musical diary.

It's a mixed
media presentation,

a combination of
both film and opera,
a television show,

a rock-and-roll concert,
various different elements

that all tells a story of
when you go on the road,
it makes you crazy.

This starts off with a...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Sort of a quiet
string and piano background

with the strings
divided into many parts.

Then we have the full-fledged
version of The Girl's Dream,

which begins with
the sopranos and altos

blowing bubbles with
a straw into a paper cup

in this area A here.

And the narrator, who might
possibly be the conductor...

You know,
it'd be funny to have

the conductor
saying these lines.

He says, "The girl wants
to fix him some broth."

Hot broth.

MEN: Hot dog broth?

♪ Hot dog debris

MAN: How do you like it?

♪ Dog breath dog broth

(CHORUS)
♪ Dog breath broth

And the chorus
comes in and goes...

♪ Doo-wee-oo,
tinselcock, my baby ♪

And then she says,
"Would you like some broth?"

And the narrator says,
"Some nice soup."

And she goes,
"Some hot broth?"

And the chorus goes, "Yum,"
and snaps their fingers,

and then they hum.

And he says,
"Small dogs in it."

And the chorus goes,
"Doggies?"

And she goes, "Hmm? Do ya?"

Then there's a fanfare where
the whole chorus screams...

(CHORUS)
♪ Tinselcock ♪

(BAND PLAYING FANFARE)

(WOMAN VOCALIZING)

(MUSIC FADES)

Blindfolds in place, please.

Yes, sir.
Here we go.

WALLY:
Are they securely in place?
Yes, secure, secure.

WALLY: All right,
mystery challenger,

will you enter
and sign in please?

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

WALLY: Primo Carnera.

Ole!

Ole!

Ole!
Ole!

Are you in the arts?

Yes.

Is there anything
musical about your work?

Some people think so.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING
AND APPLAUDING)

Then are you on the stage?

Yes.

A special kind of stage.

MAN: You mean music stage.
Yes.

Are you...
Are you also a composer?

Yes.

WALLY: Arlene?

Are you part of a group?

Yes.

WALLY: Soupy.
SOUPY: Oh!

Do you have a mustache?

Yes.
SOUPY: You Frank Zappa?

Yes.
WALLY: Yes!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

WALLY: Good boy, Soup!
Yeah.

Good for you, Soupy!
Very good!

Yeah! That's right.

WALLY: Attaboy, Soup!
Two Franks.

Tell us about
the movie, Frank,

that you've
been involved with.

We just finished
a film called 200 Motels.

It's the first feature film
to be shot on videotape.

And we used four cameras,
shot it in seven days

at Pinewood
Studios in England,
and it was transferred

to 35 mm film by
a company called Vidtronics

that has a process that takes
the normal TV line,

which is straight,
and makes it
go wiggly like that,

and they interlock,
and the result is, on film,

it looks like
a 35 mm negative.

You are Volman.

See, but you're getting
Martin back there
and everybody.

You're waking them all up.

Well, you may call
me Rance Muhammitz.

It took four years
to write the orchestra music.

It took about two and
a half or three weeks
to write the script.

It took,
uh, 10 days to rehearse it,

seven days to shoot it,
11 days for videotape editing,

and three months
for film editing,

and the rest of the time
was negative cutting

and transfer...
WALLY: And, you know,

talking about all that time,
we've ran out, Frank.

So, why don't you stay
with us, and I'll say

we'll continue
right after this word.

(APPLAUSE)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Ooh, the way
you love me, lady

♪ I get so hard
now I could die

♪ Ooh, the way you
love me, sugar

♪ I get so hard
now I could die

♪ Open up your pocketbook
Get another quarter out

♪ Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size ♪

(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)

MALE REPORTER:
As far as anyone
here can remember,

this is the first time
anything of this sort

has ever happened
at the Albert Hall.

5,000 or so fans were booked
for the Frank Zappa concert

with the Royal
Philharmonic Orchestra.

Then the Albert
Hall management
got a copy of his script

from his agent
who'd hired the hall.

MALE INTERVIEWER:
You've had bookings

for pop concerts in
the Albert Hall before,

surely you must have learned
to expect this type of thing.

Yes, I think it's
a little more than a...

A little more than
a pop concert, you see.

This was booked as a concert,
and it was only after that

that we were told that
it was all part of
a film with a script,

in addition to
the songs and the music.

But who are you
trying to protect
by canceling the concert?

Oh, the reputation of
the hall, I suppose.

Anybody who might come
thinking that
they're going to hear

a concert with the
Royal Philharmonic Orchestra,

our seat holders.

I don't see why
the Albert Hall

would need a script
in the first place,

because we
weren't doing a play,

we were doing an orchestra
and group concert.

And we gave them a copy
of the lyrics in
their original form,

along with
a copy of the lyrics

as we would amend them
to remove any
objectionable words.

And then we found out
that one of the things

that they were
complaining about was a line

in one of the orchestra pieces
where somebody says,

"You know what kind of a girl
works in a boutique?

"The kind of
a girl with a sister

"who wears a brassiere
to a pop festival."

Now, that was
one of the things

that they
objected to in the text.

And so, you know,
we said, "We'll take
the 'brassiere' out

"if that offends you,"
you know.

Or maybe it was "pop festival"
that would offend them.

But we gave them
two sets of lyrics,

and they got
a choice to choose between.

MALE INTERVIEWER: Do you
think there was anything

in your piece that the average
person in Britain today

would consider obscene?

No.

Do you think people are
still as hung up hearing
dirty words as they were

when you first
started saying them?

Well, first of all,
there is no such thing
as a dirty word.

I... Here's my
stock line about that.

There is no word,

nor any sound
that you can make
with your mouth,

that is so powerful
that it will condemn you

to the lake of fire
at the time when you hear it.

Dirty words don't exist.

This is a fantasy
that is manufactured

by religious fanatics
and government organizations

to keep people stupid.

Any word that gets the point
across is a good word.

If you want to tell
somebody to get fucked,

that's the best
way to tell them.

You know, that does the job.

And I'm interested in
getting the point across fast,

and so I use my
native language

to the utmost of its,
uh, capabilities.

It's got great things in it.

I like the American language.

(HUMMING)

♪ Penis dimension

♪ Penis dimension

♪ Penis dimension
is worrying me

♪ I can't hardly
sleep at night

♪ 'Cause of penis dimension

(TEMPO INCREASES)

♪ Do you worry?

♪ Do you worry a lot?

♪ Do you worry?

♪ Do you worry and moan

♪ That the size of your cock

♪ Is not monstrous enough?

♪ It's your penis dimension ♪

MALE INTERVIEWER:
Sometimes when...
To see you in action

or see the group in action,

gives an impression
of being very well-rehearsed,

very, very well-written.

Are there no
improvisations at all
in the concert?

Oh, there's
plenty of improvisation
in a concert,

but what you see as
being well-rehearsed

is the structure that allows
that improvisation to occur

within specified time periods
during the show.

And that
improvisation includes
not only instrumental solos,

but also dialogue
that can be inserted

and different vocal things
that can be
done during a show.

Or also the sequence
of events in a show.

That's all subject to change
from night to night.

But the blocks of material,
each song is pretty
thoroughly rehearsed.

I don't like to go out onstage
and slop around.

(HUMMING, PITCH WARBLING)

(DRUM JOINS IN SOFTLY)

(HUMMING CONTINUES)

(CACKLING LOUDLY)

♪ The air

♪ Escaping from your pits

♪ The hair
escaping from my teeth

♪ From you

♪ My hands are
gripping but they're slipping

♪ And they're
dripping 'cause I'm tripping

♪ I got busted... ♪

MALE INTERVIEWER:
You're mainly the boss.

ZAPPA:
Well, I don't like to think
of myself as a boss.

You know, that sounds snotty.

In regards to the group,
I function in the same way

that a conductor
of a symphony
orchestra functions,

with the slight difference
that I'm also the author

of the musical material
that's being performed.

But if I direct the group,
it has nothing to do with, uh,

you know,
imposing my will upon them.

It's like a referee
at a sports match,

where I will
decide what the balance

between the instruments is,
and who's going to play what,

when they come
in and so forth.

It helps to keep
the material organized.

The Bee Gees!

♪ Won't you be

(WARBLING VOCALIZATIONS)

(CROWD CHEERING)

♪ Hear my

(WARBLING VOCALIZATIONS)

♪ Plea ♪

(BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

MALE INTERVIEWER:
Do any or has any
of your band members

throughout
the years used drugs,

and how do you
control your band members?

Do you have
a tight rein on them
as far as drug use?

When a person, uh,
takes the job in the band,

they understand that
what they do in
their private lives

is their business,
but if they're on the road,

they are representing me,
they're representing my music,

and they're representing
the need for the audience

to get entertainment on time.

That means you
don't go to jail

while you're
on the road, okay?

And so I ask them
not to use drugs.

If they want to do it
when they get home, fine,

but when they're on the road,
please don't do it.

Because it's...
Aside from
the chemical damage,

there's the legal
risk that somebody's
gonna take their freedom away,

and I'm gonna be
sitting there going,
"Where's the drummer?"

You know?

I don't want any of that.

And I have fired
people for using drugs.

MALE INTERVIEWER:
What was your initial
reaction to drugs? I mean...

Well...

I've never taken any acid.

I've smoked about 10 joints
over a period of nine years.

They gave me a sore throat
and made me sleepy.

I've not had any
cosmic revelations.

I don't feel any
closer or farther away

from the center of
cosmic consciousness

because of the use of drugs.

Anything else that
I put in my body,

aside from peanut
butter and coffee,
is by prescription.

The closest I get
to heavy drug use
is when I'm on the road

and I take penicillin
because I get the clap.

That's it.

MALE INTERVIEWER:
"To many people,
Zappa has often seemed to be

"a force of cultural darkness,
bearded and gross and filthy,

"entirely obscene,
a Mephistophelian figure

"serving as a lone brutal
reminder of music's potential

"for invoking
chaos and destruction."

That's from Time
in October 1969.

"By any standard,
he was quite
outstandingly ugly."

And finally,
"I was never a hippie.

"Always a freak,
but never a hippie."

Frank Zappa on Frank Zappa.

Well, Frank,
during the past few days,

I've been reading
some of the things

that you've said
about groupies.

And you've said quite a lot.

Well, I think that
it was about time
that somebody did

start discussing groupies,
because prior to that time,

it was
a sociological phenomenon

that it existed
in the pop world,

it's been existing
for years and years,

and nobody even
said anything about it.

And I was the first
one to put it in print.

Well, can I just
quote what you did say?

You said, "They make the
ultimate gesture of worship,

"human sacrifice." That's...

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

We've been
a program of ill repute,

but in this regard,
like, Monday Conference,

it wouldn't be as
male sexist as that.

ZAPPA: I'm not...
"Gesture of worship"?
"Human sacrifice"?

But that is
exactly what happens.

And it's all right?
So all you have to do

is describe what's happening.

I'm describing a phenomenon.
Why should you call it sexist?

You said it's also...
It's one of the most amazingly

beautiful products of
the sexual revolution.

Why "beautiful"?

Well,
you'd have to go on the road
and check it out a few times.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(WHISTLING, CHEERING)

(SPEAKING SWEDISH)

Welcome everyone

to this year's final edition
of Opopoppa

here at Skansen Solliden.

Taking the lead of this gang,
we have a gentleman

who variously has been called
a musician, a critic,

he has also been called
a spokesman of
a lost generation.

He is called seducer,
he is called freak,

perverted genius
and businessman.

I am talking about Frank Zappa
and The Mothers of Invention.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(COUNTS SILENTLY)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ The mystery man came over

♪ And he said I'm outta sight

♪ He said for
a nominal service charge

♪ I could reach
nirvana tonight

♪ If I was ready,
willing and able

♪ To pay him his regular fee

♪ He would drop all the rest
Of his pressing affairs

♪ And devote
his attention to me

♪ But I said

♪ Look here, brother

♪ Who you jivin'
with that Cosmik Debris?

♪ Who you jivin'
with that Cosmik Debris?

♪ Look here, brother

♪ Don't you waste
your time on me ♪

MALE INTERVIEWER:
Is commercial success
important to you, rather than

making enough money to do
what you want to do?

Well, commercial success
represents two things.

One, it represents
dollars and cents,

and two, it represents
reaching a large audience.

Um... The dollars and cents
I'm comfortable
with right now,

because I
manage to make enough
from the concert tours

and so forth, publishing,
to pay for
the equipment that I use,

and to pay the people
who are making the music.

(CLEARS THROAT)
But the problem

about reaching
a larger audience is...

It's important to me because
more people know my
face from a poster

or from doing an interview
on television or
radio or magazine,

than have ever
heard the albums,

or have ever seen
the group live, you know?

So, it makes you wonder.

I...
I'm famous, but most people
don't even know what I do.

One, two,
one, two, three, four.

(DYNAMIC, FAST-TEMPO
MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

All right,
now that's the melody.

Now, we're gonna play...

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

The melody will now be sung.

Everybody is going
to sing their part.

(CHUCKLES) One, two,
one, two, three, four.

(MUSICIANS VOCALIZING MELODY)

(VOCALIZING CONTINUES)

Chester, you're not
singing your drum fills.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
It's so incredibly ironic

that there's so many people
that listen to your stuff

and say, "Hey,
he must've been really stoned

"to have thought that up."
That's because

people are just not
accustomed to excellence.

They're not
trained to it, you know?

Because when you go to school,

you're not given the criteria
by which to judge

between quality
this or quality that.

All they do is
teach you just enough

to be some kind of a slug
in a factory, to do your job,

so you can take
home a paycheck

and consume some other stuff
that somebody else makes.

And there's no emphasis
in schools in
the United States

put on people...

Preparing people
to live a life

that has
beautiful things in it.

You know, things that
might bring them
aesthetic enrichment.

This is not
a major consideration
in the United States.

How did you manage
to escape all that
negative brainwashing?

I got out of school
as fast as I could.

MALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you feel miffed

that you have this
stigma attached to you,

from the younger crowd
that comes out
to your concerts,

that you are into drugs,
and obviously you're not,

or don't you feel
that you have that?

Well, yeah,
it's kind of an affliction,
but that's not from the kids,

that's from the media,
you know.

It's another
way that the media

keeps me from getting
my point of view across.

The more abstract and weird
they make me look,

the less access I have
to a normal channel
of communication

with the people
who might benefit
from what I have to say.

Which is one of the reasons
why I'm doing this.

I feel very strongly
about my point of view.

I think there are other people
that might agree with it,
if they heard it,

and I'll do whatever I can

to say my point of view
wherever it can be said.

But you don't see me on
normal television very often.

You don't hear the records
on the radio very often.

If you read about
me in the papers,

they write about me
like I'm a maniac.

I'm not.
I'm 40 years old
and I'm normal.

I got four kids, a house and
a mortgage, and all that crap.

You know?

I'm a...
And I'm an American citizen.

I'm happy to be that way.

I pay taxes and everything.

Has it been hard
to juggle the career with
the family life?

I know you've got...
You've got kids...

Yeah,
I have a wife, four kids,
mortgage, the works.

And? How is it?
Yeah, it's hard to juggle.

Well, I've been married to
the same wife for 14 years.

What's she like?

Uh, she's a mean
little sucker.

Oh, I bet she'd have to
be to put up with you.

She's a...
She's an excellent
boss's wife.

Everybody knows that
Gail is the boss's wife.

And what are the kids like?

How do they feel
about you as their dad?

They like me.

Do you end up spending a lot
of time with them, then?

When I'm home.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

All right.

I'm gonna tell
you one more time.

I want to thank you
because I really
appreciate this.

The name of this
song is Dinah-Moe Humm.

One, two, three, four.

(FAST-TEMPO
ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ I couldn't say
where she's comin' from

♪ But I just met
a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

♪ Strolled on over,
said, "Look here, bum

♪ "I got a $40 bill
says you can't make me come

♪ "No way!
You just can't do it"

♪ She made a bet
with her sister

♪ Who's a little bit dumb

♪ She could prove at any time
All men was scum

♪ I don't mind that
she called me a bum

♪ But I knew right away
She was really gonna come

♪ So I got down to it

♪ Whipped off her bloomers
And stiffened my tongue

♪ And applied rotation
to her sugar plumb

♪ I poked and stroked
till my wrist got numb

♪ Still didn't
hear no Dinah-Moe Humm

♪ Dinah-Moe Humm

♪ Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm

♪ Where's this
Dinah-Moe coming from?

♪ I done spent three hours
And I ain't got a crumb

♪ From the Dinah-Moe,
Dinah-Moe

♪ Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe Humm

♪ Got a spot that gets me hot

♪ And you ain't been to it

♪ Got a spot that gets me hot

♪ And you ain't been to it

♪ Got a spot that gets me hot

♪ You ain't been to it

♪ Got a spot that gets me hot

♪ You ain't been to it

♪ 'Cause I can't get into
it unless I get out of it

♪ And I gotta get out of it
to get myself into it

♪ I can't get into it
unless I get out of it

♪ And I gotta get out of it
before I get into it

♪ She looked over at
me with a glazed eye

♪ And some bovine perspiration
On her upper lip area

♪ And she said

♪ And here's what she said

♪ "Just get me wasted
and you're halfway there

♪ "'Cause if my mind's tore up

♪ "Well,
then my body won't care"

♪ I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
And said, "My, my, my

♪ "What sort of thing
Might this lady
get high upon?"

♪ The $40 bill
didn't matter no more

♪ When her sister got naked
And laid on the floor

♪ She said,
"Dinah-Moe might win the bet

♪ "But she could use a little
(MAN SQUAWKS)

♪ "If I wasn't dead yet"

♪ I told her
just because the sun

♪ Want a place in the sky

♪ No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

♪ So I pulled on her hair

♪ Got her legs in the air

♪ And asked her if she had
any cooties in there... ♪

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Frank, whatever

happened to Popestock,
as you called it?

When the Pope wanted us to...

When the Pope thought
that maybe you would play

at a huge benefit...

Well, you have
to understand, it's...

We're not talking about
the Pope that's in there now,

and we're not talking about
the quickie guy who died,

who was, you know,
just in there a little bit.

It was the one before that,
who got in touch
with my former manager,

and asked if we
would go to the Vatican

and play a special
concert at the Vatican

that would draw all these
children to the Vatican,

so that he could
address them and deliver
his message to them.

And I refused to do it.

Oh, you refused to do it.
Yeah.

Why didn't you do it?

I don't do it for the Pope,
and I don't do it
for political leaders,

I don't do it for unions,
I don't do it
for organizations.

I do it for music.

We've been offered,
three or four times,

to play for the big
communist party
picnic in France,

you know, the...
Which is the big

social event there
they have every summer.

And they offer a lot of money.

You know, "We'll pay you.
Come and do this.

"Everybody will see you."

No, I don't want to
work for the Communists.

Fuck the Communists, you know.

I don't like those people.

And I do my music for
people who like music.

(MELLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Hey, there, well,
I'm Bobby Brown

♪ They say I'm
the cutest boy in town

♪ My car is fast

♪ My teeth is shiny

♪ I tell all the girls
they can kiss my heinie

♪ Here I am at a famous school

♪ I'm dressing sharp
and I'm acting cool

♪ I got a cheerleader here
Wants to help with my paper

♪ Let her do all the work
And maybe later I'll rape her

♪ Oh, God,
I am the American Dream

♪ I do not think
I'm too extreme

♪ And I'm a handsome
son of a bitch

♪ I'm gonna get a good job

♪ And be real rich... ♪

ZAPPA: They could never play
Bobby Brown on US radio.

It was successful because,
outside the US,

you know, the song
was played on the radio.

♪ People, I was not ready... ♪

ZAPPA: I'm not sure
that it was the lyrics
that really made it popular.

The place where it
took off first was Norway,

and the people liked the tune.

I remember going to Norway,
when the thing
was still a hit,

and going to a disco,

and seeing people
dancing close together,
like it was a ballad.

They were out on
the dance floor.

It was the song
to slow-dance to
in Norwegian discos.

It was
the largest-selling single
in CBS's history,

in Scandinavia, at that time.

♪ Am I a boy or a lady?

♪ I don't know which

♪ I wonder,
wonder, wonder, wonder

♪ So I went out and
bought me a leisure suit

♪ I jingle my change,
but I'm still kind of cute

♪ Got a job doing radio promo

♪ And none of the jocks
Can even tell I'm a homo

♪ Eventually, me and a friend

♪ Sorta drifted along into S&M

♪ I can take about an hour
On the tower of power

♪ Long as I get
a little golden shower

♪ Oh, God,
I am the American Dream

♪ With a spindle up my butt
Till it makes me scream

♪ And I'll do
anything to get ahead

♪ I lay awake nights saying,
"Thank you, Fred"

♪ Oh, God, oh, God,
I'm so fantastic

♪ Thanks to Freddy,
I'm a sexual spastic

♪ And my name is Bobby Brown

♪ Watch me now

♪ I'm going down

♪ And my name is Bobby Brown

♪ Watch me now,
I'm a-goin' down

♪ My name is Bobby Brown... ♪

(FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL
THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

That's Frank Zappa,
ladies and gentlemen,

one of the legends,
legendary man.

Used to watch this man
when I was just a kid.

Just a kid out there
in the slums of Beverly Hills.

And multi-faceted composer,
am I right?

Right.

HOST: How many songs
have you composed?

300.
HOST: You're kidding! 300?

Well, why would you
kid about that?

Master musician.

Film director, right?

Right.
Producer?

Yep.
Motion...

Not a motion picture,
but you're

kind of a record
company magnate.

You have your own building,
at this point?

Yes.

You always were a renegade
against the music business.

Why?

Because most of what
the music business does

is not musical.

What do you mean by that?

Because it's
designed to create product
and not to create music.

There's this
lack of integrity,
is what you're saying.

Well, the music business,
as a business,

is interested in doing things
that I'm not interested in.

HOST: All right,
here is Frank Zappa's

new album called
Tinseltown Rebellion.

Now, there's some very, very
interesting lyrics,

and I would like to
read some of them to you.

"Did you know that,
in Tinseltown..."

That's Hollywood, right?

"Hollywood,"
as they say out here.

"The people there
think substance is a bore

"And if your New Wave
group looks good

"They'll hurry
on back for more

"Of leather groups
and plastic groups

"And groups that
look real queer

"The Tinseltown aficionados
Come to see and not to hear."

That's pretty explicit,
isn't it?
Yeah.

In other words,
what are we saying?

That the lyrics have
the intellectual
consistency of toothpaste?

That guys just
want to make money?

The record guys?
Is that what
you're telling us?

I... Let me quote to you...
Please.

...from something
that I prepared
for Newsweek magazine,

which they have
since rejected.

I wrote this little
article for the section

in there that's
called "My Turn,"

and the name of
the article was Say Cheese.

And the whole idea of the
article is, we, as a nation,

have chosen cheese
as a way of life.

Everything that
we choose to do,

we always settle for
something that's cheesy,

because of some
economic expedient,

and we're too eager to believe
when people tell us

that budget-cutting is
the way to salvation,

that all we have to do is
cut the budget of something,

and everything will be okay.
This is wrong.

And we're not
concerned enough about
the quality of our lives.

I sense though
that there is a deep,

permanent, irreversible
cynicism in you.

And I wish that I could have
other people catch some of it.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

♪ I used to play
all kinds of stuff

♪ And some of it was nice

♪ Some of it was musical

♪ But then they
took some guy's advice

♪ To get
a record deal, he said

♪ They would
have to be more punk

♪ Forget their
chops and play real dumb

♪ Or else they would be sunk

♪ So off they go to S-I-R

♪ To learn some stupid riffs

♪ Oh, no

♪ No!
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no

♪ No!
♪ It's the '80s again

♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no

♪ And when they
think they've got it

♪ They launch a new career

♪ Who gives a fuck
if what they play

♪ Is somewhat insincere?

♪ Let's dance
the blues again, get down

♪ Dance the blues again,
everybody

♪ Dance the blues again, hey

(POPS)
(WHISTLES)

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

♪ I write the songs
That make
the young girls cry

(POPS)

(CRASHING)

♪ Did you know
that in Tinseltown

♪ The people down there think
That substance is a bore?

♪ And if your New Wave
group looks good

♪ Well, hurry on back for more

♪ Of leather groups

♪ Why do I

♪ Go rock you
like a nincompoop?

♪ And plastic groups

♪ Whip it good
(POPS)

(CACOPHONY OF NOTES PLAYING)

♪ And groups
that look real queer

♪ I'll tumble for ya,
I'll tumble for ya

♪ I'll tumble for

♪ Moo, moo-moo, moo, moo

♪ Moo, moo-moo, moo, moo

♪ Moo, moo-moo, moo, moo
Moo, moo-moo

♪ Moo Ann

♪ The Tinseltown aficionados

♪ Come to see and not to hear

♪ But then again, the system
Works as perfect as a dream

(GLISSANDO)
♪ It works for all of those

♪ Record company pricks

♪ Who come to skim the

(BAND PLAYING RIFF)

♪ Cream ♪

The thing that sets the
Americans apart from the rest

of the cultures in the world
is we're so fucking stupid.

This country's been around
for a couple hundred years,

and we think we're hot shit.

And they don't...
We don't even realize

that other countries
have thousands of years

of history and culture,
and they're proud of it.

And when we deal on an
international level, you know,

with foreign policy
and stuff like that,

and we try and go in as,
you know, a big American

strong country
and all that stuff,

they must laugh up
their sleeves at us,
because we are nothing.

We are culturally nothing.

We mean nothing.

We're only interested
in the bottom line.

You know, every other country
has their own art,

their own music,
their own theater,

their own drama,
their folk dances,

folk songs, folklore,

and it means
something to them,
and they're proud of it,

and that's their
ethnic heritage.

We have Levi's,
we have designer jeans,

we have hamburgers,
we have Coca-Cola,

we have REO Speedwagon,
we have Journey,

we have this one,
we have that one.

And then we go out
there and we say,

"Yeah, but we also have
neutron bombs and poison gas,

"so maybe that
makes up for it."

I mean,
it's really kind of sad
when you evaluate it that way.

And I think that a country
that doesn't do something

to sustain its culture,
whatever it is,

doesn't invest in it,
doesn't keep it happening,

isn't proud of it,

maybe they just
shouldn't exist,

because it's the culture

and the beautiful things
that a society produces,

those are the things
that should survive

for thousands of years,
not the designer jeans.

Tomorrow night,
the London Symphony Orchestra

are giving a concert at their
home in the Barbican Centre.

Nothing much new in that.

But what is new is that
the program of
orchestral music

they'll be playing
is music written by

the celebrated
American rock
star Frank Zappa,

a man once banned,
if you remember,
from the Royal Albert Hall

because his lyrics were
thought to be too obscene.

Robin Denselow's been looking
at the least known

and the least commercial
side of Zappa's art.

DENSELOW: Frank Zappa has been
quietly writing pieces

for a full orchestra,
alongside his
rock work, for years.

For their first
ever performance,

he's using the
London Symphony Orchestra
and so many musicians

that they might not fit
on the Barbican stage.

It's going to be difficult.

It's going to be maybe even
painful for some of them.

DENSELOW: The LSO are
rehearsing compositions

that Zappa has
written from 1975 on,

but which he is
only hearing now
for the first time.

The conductor, Kent Nagano,
mostly works in San Francisco

and was chosen by Zappa.

As the LSO grapple with
the highly complicated,

unusual rhythm structures,

Nagano agrees he's not
given them an easy time.

He regards the compositions
as very important.

For Zappa,
it doesn't seem to matter

that his simpler rock songs
are far better known

than these
serious compositions.

I think that
it's just as serious

to write a song
like Valley Girl

as it is to
write a ballet called
Mo 'n Herb's Vacation.

To me, they're equally
serious problems in music.

DENSELOW: Really? I mean,
one must take you, what,

a matter of days,
and the other
a matter of months and months.

Well, in the case
of Valley Girl,

it took me
a matter of moments,
but in the case of

some of the orchestra pieces,
they'll take, like,

six months to write,
but that doesn't mean

there's any less seriousness
involved in the construction

of each piece, because
they're for different mediums,

they're for
different audiences,

and they deal with different
kinds of musical problems.

DENSELOW: At the rehearsals,
Zappa sat out in the stalls,

but made sure that
Nagano and the orchestra

were always aware
of exactly what he wanted.

Why don't we split it up
with all 1-As doing that?

How about that?
Okay.

Um, excuse me.
(TAPPING STAND)

So could you take
a look please, everyone. 159.

Ready, and...

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING DRAMATIC,
DISCORDANT MUSIC)

NAGANO: Don't get ahead.

And...

Do you expect to
actually make any money
out of the concert

and the recordings
that you've come here
to make with the LSO?

No. No.

Why, then, do you do it?

Well,
I think that any artistic
decision that is based on

whether or not you're going
to make money is not really

an artistic decision,
it's a business decision.

And there are a lot of things
that I can do
to earn a living,

and a lot of things that I've
already done to earn a living,

which have produced
the amount of capital needed

to do this project.

I came here to spend money
on an English orchestra,

to record my music
so I can take it home
and I can listen to it.

And if somebody else
likes that kind of stuff,

I will make it
available on a record
so that they can hear it.

That is my part of
the public service

of spending the money
to make this event happen.

No foundation grant,
no government assistance,

no corporation, no committee,

just a crazy guy
who spent the money
to hire English musicians

to do a concert
at the Barbican
and make an album

for Barking Pumpkin Records.

Frank, is it good?
Is the music good?

I think it's fantastic.

MAN: And you're on.

All right, we're rolling.

Now what?
MAN: Just do it.

Do what?
MAN: Go in after, you know,

"The Constitution's
coming here."

You say,
"And this is Frank Zappa."

Okay.
MAN: Porn Wars, right?

This is Frank Zappa
with tonight's
edition of Porn Wars.

Has rock and roll
finally gone too far?

Well, a growing
number of people think so,

and today they took their case
to a US Senate hearing.

Their complaint?
That rock lyrics and videos

are crossing the line
into trash and smut.

Some parent
groups want to rate
rock records that may contain

objectionable material
the way movies are rated.

Tipper Gore, wife of
Tennessee Democratic
Senator Albert Gore,

called for
voluntary warning labels

on raunchy and
violent rock albums.

Frank Zappa was
one of the rock stars
who opposed the idea.

We now propose one
generic warning label

to inform consumers
in the marketplace
about lyric content.

The labels would
apply to all music.

The PMRC proposal is an
ill-conceived
piece of nonsense

which fails to
deliver any real
benefits to children,

infringes the civil liberties
of people who
are not children,

and promises to
keep the courts
busy for years dealing with

the interpretational
and enforcemental problems

inherent in
the proposal's design.

Zappa, whose albums are
often sexually explicit,

described Mrs. Gore
and her supporters as
"the wives of Big Brother."

You're taking
a very drastic step
toward national censorship.

And whenever
censorship is mentioned,
these wives go wild.

You know, it's like
The Emperor's New Clothes.

"Oh, this is not
censorship, no."

Censorship implies
restricting access
or suppressing content.

This proposal does neither.

And the media thinks,
"Well, they're very, you know,

"they wouldn't lie,
they're very cute,
they're from Washington."

Porn rock.

But if it looks
like censorship
and it smells like censorship,

it is censorship,
no matter whose wife is
talking about it.

It's censorship.

"Pyromania."

No question.

Burn a building.

Burn, burn, burn.

These right-wing people
have this fetish
about the right to life.

What about the right
to the life of an unborn idea?

How much are
you gonna miss out
on in the United States

if you won't let people think,
say what they think

and do something about it,
so that people who don't think

and are too busy
doing something else

can have the benefit
of the people who think?

It is a stupid waste
of resource to
take the ability

to think for yourself,
or to allow somebody

who might think for you

in a positive way
to generate ideas

that can turn
into something...

Income for instance,

to stop that from happening.

It is
incredibly short-sighted.

HAWKINS: That's...

ZAPPA: Yes.

You say you
have four children?

ZAPPA: Yes.
Pardon me?

ZAPPA: Four children.
Four children.

Have you ever purchased toys
for those children?

ZAPPA: No, my wife does.

Well... I might tell you
that if you were to
go in a toy store,

which is very educational
for fathers, by the way,

it's not
a maternal responsibility

to buy toys for children,
that you may look on the box

and the box says,
"This is suitable for

"five to seven years of age,"
or "Eight to 15"

or "15 and above,"

to give you some guidance
for a toy for a child.

Do you object to that?

In a way, I do.

Because that means
that somebody in
an office someplace

is telling...
Making the decision
about how smart my child is.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

HAWKINS:
I'd be interested to see
what toys your kids ever had.

Why would you be interested?

HAWKINS: Just as
a point of interest in this...

Well,
come on over to the house,
I'll show them to you.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

ZAPPA: Really.

I... I might do that.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

Have you ever made...
Do you make a profit
from sales of rock records?

ZAPPA: Yes.

So you do make a profit
from sales of rock records.

ZAPPA: Yes. Mmm-hmm.

Thank you.
I think that statement

tells the story
to this committee.

Thank you.
(CROWD MURMURING)

(CROSSFIRE THEME PLAYING)

ANNOUNCER: Crossfire.

On the left, Tom Braden.

On the right, Robert Novak.

In the crossfire,
Washington Times
columnist John Lofton

and rock musician Frank Zappa.

But why do you underestimate
the power of words?

Words have consequences.

They have impact on people.

Now, I agree with
you that the first line

of responsibility
is the family to stop
the kind of garbage

that we're talking
about here today,

but good grief,
can't we call on

our government to help us
in this fight, Frank?

I mean, you have kids.
Are you an anarchist?

Is it the government's role
to do nothing about this?

No, I'm a conservative,
and you may not
like that, but I am.

What is the function
of government, Frank,
the civil government?

Isn't it to,
in part, promote

the general welfare
and to help protect families?

Does the government have
any purpose, Frank?

Yeah, it has a number
of purposes.
What? What is it?

Name one.
I'm not gonna give you
a civics lesson here,

but I'll tell you one thing.
Yeah.

We must not see eye to eye

on the idea of a government
that must forbid things

in order to protect families.

Really? What is
the government's role?

You've told me several times
what it shouldn't do.

How about national defense
and making sure things...

Yeah, I consider this
national defense, pal.

Our families are under attack
from people like you
with these lyrics.

BRADEN: John,
you don't have to bite him.

NOVAK: Mr. Zappa...

Could I make a statement
about national defense?

Yeah.

The biggest
threat to America today

is not communism,
it's moving America

toward a fascist theocracy.

And everything that's happened

during the Reagan
administration

is steering us
right down that pipe.

NOVAK: Oh, Mr.
Zappa, do you... Do you...

Yes, Mr. Zappa.

BRADEN: Wait a minute.
In what way?

Give me... Give me one...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

One example, one example
of a fascist theocracy.

When you have a government

that prefers
a certain moral code

derived from
a certain religion,

and that moral code turns into
legislation to suit

one certain
religious point of view...

NOVAK: Mr. Zappa. Mr. Zappa.

...and if that code...
NOVAK: Frank.

...happens to be very,
very right-wing,

almost toward
Attila the Hun...

Well, then you
are an anarchist.

Every form of civil government
is based on some
kind of morality, Frank.

Morality in
terms of behavior...

LOFTON: Well, of course.
...not in terms of theology.

Rock and roll is here to stay,
but it will never
make everyone happy,

and the latest
controversy involves
sexual and violent lyrics.

A number of parents groups
want warning
labels on records.

Today, as NBC's
Robert Hager reports now,

the record industry
came up with its own solution.

HAGER: The record
industry has agreed

to a voluntary
self-policing code

by which warning labels
can now be stuck on albums

with explicit
lyrics on topics like
sex, drugs and violence.

But the biggest
warning sticker in town

is on the new
album by Frank Zappa.

He stuck it on himself
to guarantee, as he puts it,

that it won't "cause eternal
torment in the place

"where the guy
with the pointed
stick conducts his business."

♪ ...friend

♪ When the lies get so big

♪ And the fog gets so thick

♪ And the facts disappear

♪ The Republican trick

♪ Can be played out again

♪ People, please tell me when

♪ We'll be rid of these men

♪ Just who do they really
Suppose that they are?

♪ And how do they
manage to travel as far

♪ As they seem to have come?

♪ Were we really that dumb?

♪ People, wake up

♪ Figure it out

♪ Religious fanatics

♪ Around and about

♪ The courthouse,
the statehouse

♪ The Congress,
the White House

♪ Criminal saints

♪ With a heavenly mission

♪ A nation enraptured

♪ By pure superstition

♪ Is everybody happy? ♪

WOMAN: Very few rock musicians
have been as controversial
as Frank Zappa,

but there is no
controversy about his talent

or about his role
as a rock-and-roll innovator.

So today, we will be at home
with Frank Zappa.

Frank,
how are you this morning?

Boy, you know, I don't like
to get up this early,
that's for sure.

(SMITH CHUCKLES)

You got a Grammy
for Jazz from Hell.

Is it... Does that mean
anything extra to you?

Well, I think that it's,
you know, living proof

that the whole
process is a fraud.

This is a little plastic joke,
the Grammy itself.

I got it for a song
called Jazz from Hell,

which I'm convinced
nobody has ever heard,

and I don't know
why they gave me
a Grammy for this song.

It was the most
obscure track on a CD
called Jazz from Hell.

SMITH: We're in
a different part of the house.

Looks like you've got
an entire studio set up there.

That's right.

SMITH: You may...
I'll just walk over here.

SMITH: Yeah, yeah,
let's look
around a little bit.

Yeah.
SMITH: There's something

you're sitting by now

that I'm not even
sure how to pronounce it.

Can you explain it?

Well, it's a machine
called a Synclavier,
which is...

This is the machine
that produced

that Grammy award-winning
song Jazz from Hell.

(SMITH LAUGHS)

SMITH: That some...
That everyone is humming

on the way to
work this morning.
Yeah.

SMITH: What...
What does the machine do?

How does it work?

Well, it allows you to, um,
perform on the keyboard.

You could play a composition
on the keyboard

which is then stored
in the computer memory,

and then you edit
what you played,

or you can type in information
on this keypad here

and edit what you played.

(PERCUSSION RIFF PLAYS)

The sequence
that's in here now
sounds like this.

(PERCUSSION RIFF PLAYING)

Okay, let's say you happen
to think that that was

really a good groove,
and you wanted to

have that played by something
other than a drum set.

Just go to the back again

and look for
some other kind of
a noise to play it back.

How about, um...

(SUCKS TEETH)

Let's take spastic...
Mmm, spastic droopers is okay.

(PERCUSSION AND
HORN RIFF PLAYING)

SMITH: Do you ever
think the electronics

and the microchips can kind of
get in the way, though,

of the actual
true music itself,

or what you're
really trying to get at?

No, actually it improves it by
subtracting the human element,

which is the most unreliable
part of doing music.

(LAUGHS) I thought
that was supposed to be

part of the creative
process though.

Employing musicians?
Hell, no.

(FRANTIC ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING)

(MAN SPEAKING IN CZECH)

10:30 a.m. one of the most
influential personalities
of the rock world

steps out of the plane,

the 49 year old Frank Zappa.

ZAPPA: Never before,
in 25 years in rock and roll

have I gotten
off of an airplane
and seen anything like that.

(CROWD CHANTING)
(SPEAKING IN CZECH)

How long have you been
waiting for this?
My whole life.

I am here to see my prince.

I feel so tired,
but so happy to be in Prague,
but I'll bet

I don't feel as
happy as you do
to have a brand new country.

And I give you
my congratulations
on your political success.

(CROWD CHEERING)
(MAN SPEAKING IN CZECH)

What I would say to Zappa?

We started playing
his music in 1972

with our band "Elektrobus"
and were hunted
by the police for that.

When we were interrogated
the cops told us:

We will take your Zappa away,
you will not spread
his ideology here.

Obviously they looked at him
as a political ideologist,

kind of an anti-communist
leader of an ideologically
alternative group.

(REPORTER SPEAKING IN CZECH)

Today president Vaclav Havel
welcomed Frank Zappa

the leading representative
of rock music at the castle.

The friendly
and informal atmosphere
was supported by the fact

that the president
knew Zappa's music very well.

Is Mr. Havel the first
president you've met in
your life personally?

Yes.

ZAPPA:
There's no official title.

In fact, I don't think
they've ever invented a name

for what it is that I expect
to be doing for them.

They want me to help
them to develop trade,

tourism and things
in the cultural field.

Even if I'm doing something
like a business deal,

it is a type of composition.

I view the whole
thing as composition.

MAN: Mr. Zappa,
can you tell me
what this contract is about?

It is to release records,
CDs, and cassettes

of my music, in Czechoslovakia
for the first time.

Legally.

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

I've been playing music
in the United States
for 25 years.

Most people in that country
don't even know what I do,

and they would be shocked
to see these people

standing here,
listening to me, right now.

They would
think you are crazy.

You have a lot of fans here,
so if you fuck up
it in America,

so, then, you can rely on
your Czech listeners.

(MUSIC PLAYING)
MAN: Can you sing the number?

Frankie!

♪ Love of my life

(CROWD CHEERING)

♪ I love you so

♪ Love of my life

♪ Don't ever go

♪ I love you only

♪ Love, love of my life ♪

You know, they won't play this
on the radio in America.

♪ Love of my life

♪ I love you so... ♪

(TAPE REWINDING)

(BLUESY RIFF PLAYING ON TAPE)

♪ Took Ike's watch
like they always do... ♪

(CROWD NOISE PLAYING ON TAPE)

(DRUMBEAT PLAYS ON TAPE)

(VOCALIZING)

(ELECTRIC GUITAR
RIFF BLASTS ON TAPE)

(DRUMS PLAYING ON TAPE)

♪ Draws ♪

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

ZAPPA: There's two things
you ought to consider here.

One is the possibility
that the whole body of my work

is one composition.
MAN: Right.

And only separated
into individual tracks,

so to speak, because I'm
releasing it on records,

and it takes me
years to put it together.

But, if I was all done,
and you stuck it all together,

it's one composition,
basically.

And a theme that
started off in,
you know, on the first record,

could just as easily occur,
later on, with

no... No reason other than,

since the whole mass of work
is one composition,

why can't you
recapitulate a theme
that started off years ago?

(PERCUSSION PLAYING RHYTHM)

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING SELECTION
FROM YELLOW SHARK)

I wound up with
a style of music
that has snorks, burps,

uh, and dissonant chords,

and nice tunes and triads

and straight rhythms
and complicated rhythms,

and just about anything,
in any order.

MAN: Right.

And the easiest way
to sum up the aesthetic
would be,

anything, anytime, anyplace,
for no reason at all.

And I think with
an aesthetic like that,

you can have
pretty good latitude
for being creative.

(YELLOW SHARK CONTINUES)

(MUSIC STOPS)

MAN: What is wrong with it?

No, no...
MAN: No.

In my band, when somebody
would make a mistake

of that magnitude,
it's called
a "strong wrong," so...

(MAN LAUGHING)

But other than that,
it sounded really good.

KATIE COURIC:
You know, to some,

Frank Zappa is
a legend in rock music.

To others,
he's a bizarre performer

with a penchant for
lascivious lyrics.

But what few
realize is that he's also

a serious and respected
classical composer.

Today Show
national correspondent,
Jamie Gangel,

is here this morning
with a rare interview
with Frank Zappa,

an interview that
almost didn't happen,

because Frank Zappa
is also quite ill.

Jamie, how's he doing?
He's not doing well.

He's been suffering
from prostate cancer
for a number of years,

and we really
got the impression

that it took all
of his strength
to even do this interview.

And although he
guards his privacy,

he talked about his cancer,
and in spite of it all,

at 52, Frank Zappa
is still Frank Zappa,

funny, opinionated,
and off the wall.

For the last four years,
Zappa has focused
on classical music.

Almost unheard in America,
he sells out
concert halls in Europe.

Tell me about
The Yellow Shark concert.

It was... It got
an extraordinary reaction.

How'd you feel about that?

Well, as I said to
you a little earlier,

there's no
accounting for taste.

(LAUGHS) Oh, come on!

You must have been thrilled.

I was sick.

Some... So it's hard
to be truly thrilled.

But, I was... I was
happier that they did that

rather than throw
things at the stage.

(CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING)

(ORCHESTRA PLAYS)

(ORCHESTRA STOPS)

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

You have made a career
out of making
fun of everybody,

gays,
Jewish-American princesses,

and you have taken
a lot of heat for it.

Does that bother you at all?

No. I'm totally unrepentant.

(GANGEL LAUGHS)

Is there anything you
ever did that you were
sorry for in music?

No.

A lot of performers
do things that are shocking,

or might be considered
obscenity or pornography,

but you get singled
out a lot, I think.

Do you have any idea why?

'Cause I'm ugly.

GANGEL: Oh, stop!

Well, you know, the...

In this world of
basic stereotyping,

give a guy a big nose

and some weird hair,
and he's capable of anything.

(GANGEL LAUGHS)

You're a legendary workaholic.

Are you able to work...
Not anymore.

Not anymore.
(CHUCKLES)

Tell me.

Ah, basically, on a good day,
I can go 9:30 to 6:30, but...

It's really
slowed you down.

Yeah.

Can you tell me a little bit
about how you've been doing?

Fair.
Fair.

Yeah. Good days, bad days.

More bad days
than good days?

Yeah.

Let me go through
a list of words that,

whenever you read about
Frank Zappa, you hear.

And tell me how
they strike you.

"Rock legend."

That's pathetic. (CHUCKLES)

"Test pilot pushing the edge."

That's...

Don't you like
that one a little bit?

No.
No?

No.

It's a little bit too...

Got that military aroma to it.

"Eccentric genius"?

Eccentric, yes.
Genius, maybe.

"Funny guy."

Only to a few.

Here's a question,
you'll know
exactly what it is,

and that is,
how does Frank Zappa
want to be remembered?

Ah.

That's not important.

Not important at all?

Mmm-mmm.

Want to be remembered
for the music?

It's not important
to even be remembered.

I mean, the people who worry
about being remembered

are guys like Reagan, Bush.

These people want
to be remembered.

And they'll
spend a lot of money

and do a lot of
work to make sure

that remembrance
is just terrific.

And for Frank Zappa?

I don't care.

One, two, three, four.

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING DRAMATIC,
PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(ORCHESTRA CONTINUES PLAYING)

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC ENDS)

(♪♪)

♪ Now believe
me when I tell you
That my song is really true

♪ I want everyone
to listen and believe

♪ It's about
some little people
From a long time ago

♪ And all the things
the neighbors didn't know

♪ Early in the morning
Daddy Dinky went to work

♪ Selling lamps and chairs
To San Ber'dino squares

♪ And I still remember Mama
With her apron and her pad

♪ Feeding all
the boys at Ed's Cafe

♪ Whizzing and
pasting and pooting
Through the day

♪ Ronnie helping Kenny helping
Burn his poots away

♪ And all the while
on a shelf in the shed

♪ Kenny's little
creatures on display

♪ Ronnie saves his numies
On a window in his room

♪ A marvel to be seen
Dysentery green

♪ While Kenny and his buddies
Had a game out in the back

♪ Let's make
the water turn black

♪ We see them after school
In a world of their own

♪ To some it might
seem creepy what they do

♪ The neighbors on the right
Sat and watched
them every night

♪ I bet you'd do
the same if they was you

♪ Whizzing and
pasting and pooting
Through the day

♪ Ronnie helping Kenny helping
Burn his poots away

♪ And all the while
on a shelf in the shed

♪ Kenny's little
creatures on display

♪ Ronnie's in the Army now
And Kenny's taking pills

♪ Oh, how they yearn
to see a bomber burn

♪ Color flashing,
thunder crashing
Dynamite machine

♪ Wait till
the fire turns green

♪ Wait till
the fire turns green

♪ Wait till
the fire turns green ♪

(MUSIC ENDS)

You're 18.

Take the spoon
out of your nose,

take the needle
out of your arm,

take the beer out of
your mouth, and go vote.

You know what I mean? Vote.

Register and
vote like a beast.