All language subtitles for Curb.Your.Enthusiasm.S10E02.720p.WEB.x265-MiNX-eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:11,660 Okay, I just wanted to take you through 2 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,950 the main points of the sexual harassment complaint 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,160 - from your assistant. - Right. Right. Right. 4 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:18,620 The first contention is you yanked at her clothes. 5 00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:21,290 I yanked at her... I cleaned my glasses. 6 00:00:21,370 --> 00:00:23,220 - Cleaned your glasses. - Her shirttail was sticking out. 7 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,830 I cleaned my glasses. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 8 00:00:24,910 --> 00:00:27,620 - Send me to the cooler. - I don't want you to worry about it. 9 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:29,080 I can handle this. 10 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,700 If she gets anything at all here, it would be a travesty. 11 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:35,330 And I would, I would leave the country. 12 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,120 I don't know where I'd go, but I would leave. 13 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,830 I hear Canada is a good place, maybe. 14 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,040 - But it's cold. - I don't recommend moving to Canada. 15 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,040 What about... what about like a Pacific island or something? 16 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,040 I want to assure you that as upsetting as this is, 17 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,040 I think we'll either be able to make it go away 18 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,040 or come to a reasonable settlement. 19 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,370 - What? Come to a what? - An amicable arrangement... 20 00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:59,080 A settlement? A reasonable settlement? 21 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,330 "Millions for defense. Not one cent for tribute." 22 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,200 That's what we said when the British were impressing our seamen. 23 00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:07,700 You, you know they tried to impress our seamen, right? 24 00:01:07,790 --> 00:01:10,660 They'd be on the ship, they'd yell across at one of our ships. 25 00:01:10,750 --> 00:01:15,040 "Hey, there! We have the best dental plan in all of Europe. 26 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,040 "Why, look at our bicorn hats and fancy brass buttons. 27 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,200 How's that, sailors? Are you impressed by that?" 28 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,120 Anything else we haven't gone over? 29 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,450 - Hmm. - Okay. 30 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:29,240 If anything comes to you after this conversation... 31 00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:31,600 - You'll be the first to know. - you're in your car, you're driving home... 32 00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:32,910 - Yeah. - Pick up the phone. 33 00:01:32,990 --> 00:01:34,200 - Really? - Yeah. 34 00:01:34,290 --> 00:01:37,160 If I do happen to call you, which I very well could, 35 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,910 does that mean that I'll be charged for the time? 36 00:01:40,990 --> 00:01:44,790 In this office, we, uh, we try to use a holistic approach 37 00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:46,620 - to compensation. - Mm. 38 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,750 We want our clients not to be inhibited 39 00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:51,040 in their use of our services. 40 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,830 So you charge me. 41 00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:54,120 Yeah. 42 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,040 Uh, all right, I think that takes care of it. 43 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,290 - May I use your bathroom? - Yeah, the bathroom's, uh, 44 00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,200 just to your right, down the hall. 45 00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:03,180 Right there at reception where you came in, there's a little jog in the hallway. 46 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:07,500 Yeah. No. I already saw that, but I'm here, and, you know, it's... 47 00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:11,120 - an infinitely better bathroom than to send me to a public... - Oh, it's nothing special. 48 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,510 You'll be much happier down the hall. We just redid 'em. They're great. 49 00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:15,290 I'll leave it exactly the way I found it. 50 00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:17,700 I'm like a murderer going in there. 51 00:02:17,790 --> 00:02:21,950 I completely expunge all evidence that I was ever there. 52 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,700 Motion denied, as they say in the profession. 53 00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:28,290 ♪ 54 00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:29,990 Where is it? 55 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,540 Roger: Down the hall and to the right. 56 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:34,580 Hi. 57 00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:38,160 - Mr. David. - Validation, please. 58 00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:43,830 Is that a problem? 59 00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:45,990 Well, I mean, to be perfectly honest, 60 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,120 do you really think that you need it? 61 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,330 It's not about the money, okay? 62 00:02:50,410 --> 00:02:53,450 It's about having to go into your pants pocket, 63 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,700 in a car when you're paying. 64 00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:58,790 Have you ever been in a car trying to get to your pocket? 65 00:02:58,870 --> 00:03:01,750 - It does seem like a great deal of effort. - Yes. 66 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:03,990 This is why homeless people don't make a lot of money 67 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,080 from people in cars, 'cause nobody wants to go into their pockets. 68 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,620 There you are, Mr. David. You have a lovely day. 69 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,990 Yeah. Uh, you know what? 70 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,120 This is only for an hour. 71 00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:17,120 I was here for at least an hour-ten. 72 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,450 Sure thing. 73 00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:22,200 Here, Mr. David. You have a good day. 74 00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:25,080 Hope to see you again. I intend to be in this building a lot. 75 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,580 That's fantastic. 76 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:36,830 Hello? 77 00:03:36,910 --> 00:03:39,290 Larry, uh, this is Dr. Bahn. 78 00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:43,700 -Yeah? -I'm not liking some of the numbers I'm seeing 79 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,540 and would like to test you for thyroid cancer. 80 00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:49,910 Dr. Bahn: I would like to get an MRI 81 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:51,370 just to be safe. 82 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,370 Is there a mass? 83 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,040 Yes. There is a mass. 84 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,450 Has it... spread? 85 00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:00,200 Well, that we don't know, and that's why 86 00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:02,040 I'd like to get you in for some tests today. 87 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,830 -What are my odds? -Dr. Bahn: Uh, Larry, it's way too early 88 00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,240 to be thinking that way. 89 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,240 Just contact my office, and, uh, 90 00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,500 we should get the results in two days. 91 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,950 ♪ ♪ 92 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,040 - Andy: And a two of hearts. - Richard: Ooh, lucky you. 93 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,240 Possible flush, no straight. 94 00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:33,510 -Go ahead, Leon. You got the bet. -Woo! 95 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,890 - You got the bet. - See what I got. 96 00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:36,750 - Larry: Come on, spend some money. - Bam! 97 00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:37,750 - Nope. - Andy: Swat? 98 00:04:37,830 --> 00:04:39,750 - Richard? - Two. 99 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:41,040 Ooh. 100 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,750 All right, I'm in. 101 00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:45,450 Why weren't you at the fundraiser the other night? 102 00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:48,200 - For the prison art collectors? - What, what, what fundraiser? 103 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:50,080 For the prisoners who draw art. 104 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,120 I sent you the invitation. Why weren't you there? 105 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,830 - I never got the invite. - We sent it. 106 00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:56,370 Never got it. Must have got lost in the mail. 107 00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:58,790 Aah, boy. I don't trust the mail anymore. I swear I don't. 108 00:04:58,870 --> 00:05:00,450 That stinks. I would have gone to that. 109 00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,930 - You would have enjoyed it. - Leon: Wow. 110 00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,700 Andy: All right, next card is a ten of spades. 111 00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:06,910 - I'm out. I fold. - Andy: Okay, he's out. Go ahead. 112 00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:08,330 Andy: You're out. You check. 113 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:09,620 - Richard: I fold. - Fold. 114 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,010 - Really? - I just wanna give you... Yeah. 115 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:12,100 I wanna give you a heads up. 116 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,700 Susie's birthday is in about a week. 117 00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:15,290 Why are you giving me a heads up? 118 00:05:15,370 --> 00:05:18,160 Uh, she told me to tell you. 119 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,850 -Get the hell out of here. She told you to tell me? -Jeff: Yeah. Yeah. 120 00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:22,430 As a matter of fact, she wants a camera. 121 00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:24,790 She's shameless, this woman. She's shameless. 122 00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:26,410 - It's unbelievable. - Wow. 123 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,290 You don't get to pick your gift, okay? 124 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,850 -I'm not a Sears catalog. -Just lettin' you know. Just lettin' you know. 125 00:05:30,870 --> 00:05:33,390 Anyway, I already got her something. It's gonna be a nice surprise. 126 00:05:33,410 --> 00:05:34,830 - Really? - Larry: Yeah. 127 00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:36,500 All right, nine is the last card. 128 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:37,660 You got the bet. 129 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:39,500 Go ahead. You guys are out. Go ahead. 130 00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:42,080 I just want you to know before you bet, I have a pair of aces. 131 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,910 Okay. Twenty bucks, aces. 132 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:48,330 I have a pair of aces. I call. What do you have? 133 00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:52,700 - Larry: Okay. I got three nines. 134 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:54,830 - Ooh! Shit! - Andy: That's unbelievable. 135 00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:56,140 - Huh? - Leon: Ate your ass for dinner. 136 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,500 On the river, you get a nine. 137 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:58,580 Richard: Cincinnati Kid. 138 00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:00,080 You are the luckiest guy around. 139 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,410 - Honest to God. - Yeah, yeah, luckiest guy around. 140 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,950 I went to the doctor this week, and, I, uh... 141 00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:07,410 She found something, and... 142 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,620 - She's testing for, you know, cancer, so... - Jeff: Wow. 143 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,540 - I'll find out in a few days. - Really? 144 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:14,680 - Yeah. I'm sure it's nothing, you know. - Jeff: You're kidding me. 145 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,200 Leon: Shit, Larry. God damn. 146 00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:17,200 You're up. 147 00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:19,660 Well, I just want to let you know, 148 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:20,910 lettin' you know, 149 00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:23,080 - if you do have cancer... - Mm. 150 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,700 I can't be your friend anymore. 151 00:06:24,790 --> 00:06:27,330 I-I'm not a cancer friend. I can't do the cancer friend. 152 00:06:27,410 --> 00:06:29,350 -That's not me. It's too much. Too much. -Mm. Yeah. 153 00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:31,540 You know, I gotta agree with Jeff. 154 00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:34,910 If you get cancer, I'll never speak to you again. 155 00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:36,870 - Andy: Wow. - I get that. Yeah. 156 00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,080 When I found out my daddy had cancer, 157 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,950 I never spoke to that man again. 158 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,160 - I even stopped taking his calls. - Wow. Really? 159 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,620 - Swat: Yep. - Did he die? 160 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,240 I don't know. 161 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:47,410 - Mm. - Whoa. 162 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,870 Leon: That's fuckin' deep, man. 163 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,200 All right, I'll tell you what. I have a proposal. 164 00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:53,700 Let's make a little deal here, okay? 165 00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:56,580 A no-cancer friend reciprocity pact. 166 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,830 If anyone gets it, we all stop being friends with you, 167 00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:00,080 and vice versa. 168 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,540 - There you go! - Very gracious of you! 169 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,580 Don't fuck up. Don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you. 170 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,430 -Larry: All right. -Leon, your deal. Come on, let's play poker. 171 00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,160 - Leon: Let's go, baby. - Jeff: Okay. 172 00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,080 Sorry I'm late. 173 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,410 - It's okay. - You know what? 174 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,950 I detest every single person in a car. 175 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,080 - There are a lot of stupid drivers, yeah. - Yeah. 176 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,990 How are you feeling? 177 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,620 I'm better. 178 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,660 - I'm a lot better. - I'm really sorry about 179 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,580 that talc incident. 180 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,660 I say next time, just... 181 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,120 do the shower, yeah. 182 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,830 Yeah. Oh, geez, look at, look at this thing. 183 00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:41,290 - Huh? - Yeah, I know, it's... 184 00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:43,950 Jesus, look, look, what... I, I don't understand it. 185 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,750 - Another wobbly table. - I know. 186 00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,410 They're all over. It's an epidemic. 187 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,830 I'm gonna end the wobbly table epidemic, in my coffee house. 188 00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:53,790 - Mm. - Ours are gonna be cemented in... 189 00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:55,720 - They're gonna be cemented in the ground. - Mm-hmm. 190 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,950 Ah. You know what? I think I'll do a little, uh, 191 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,040 a little side-sitting. 192 00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:02,700 - A side-sit? - Yeah. A side-sit. 193 00:08:02,790 --> 00:08:04,200 I don't think that's a good idea. 194 00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:07,700 - Why? What's the big deal? - Well, it's, uh, very intimate. 195 00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:10,790 I... This is too far to talk to somebody. 196 00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:12,830 It feels a little close. 197 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,790 - I don't think so. - Okay. 198 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:15,950 Oh. 199 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,330 - There you go. - Thank you. 200 00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:21,160 Larry: It's my mailman. His name's Lionel. 201 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,500 Hey. 202 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,120 - Cheryl: Lionel? - Larry: Yeah. 203 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,890 - Take care. Have a good day. - Hostess: Thank you. You too. 204 00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:29,540 Yeah. Something about that guy gives me the creeps. 205 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,660 - Yeah. - Um... 206 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:36,200 - How are you doing? - Good. Can I introduce you to my friend, the elephant? 207 00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:38,750 Huh? He's a big boy. 208 00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:41,750 - Keeps growing. - Yes, yes. 209 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,290 I mean, how do you feel about it? 210 00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:47,700 Well, I feel the same as I've always felt. 211 00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:50,450 I think we should... I think we should be together. 212 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,700 Yeah, I don't... 213 00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:55,910 I don't think that's a good idea. 214 00:08:57,910 --> 00:08:59,750 I think we need to... 215 00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:02,990 end it, call it off. 216 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,580 I think we should be apart. 217 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,160 You know, I... 218 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,540 I was at the doctor, 219 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,910 and I'm waiting to get some... 220 00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:15,750 test results back. 221 00:09:15,830 --> 00:09:17,870 Oh. What kind of tests? 222 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:20,450 Could be... 223 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,370 cancer? 224 00:09:22,450 --> 00:09:24,450 It's just a test, right? 225 00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:25,540 - Yeah. - Yeah. 226 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:26,700 It's a test, but... 227 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,580 - it's a test for cancer. - Right. 228 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:30,870 I mean, a lot of people get tested. 229 00:09:30,950 --> 00:09:32,540 Not for cancer. 230 00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,930 - Yeah, a lot of people get tested for cancer. - No, this is cancer. 231 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,950 - It's a cancer test. - I know a lot of people... 232 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,830 No, this is cancer. 233 00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:41,580 - Um... - Serious, serious test. 234 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,410 - Could you excuse us for a sec? - Sure. 235 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,240 Well, I hope your tests come back negative, 236 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:49,660 but we're not gonna get back together. 237 00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:54,580 Hypothetically, suppose she told me I had... 238 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,330 two years. 239 00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:58,990 Would that alter your thinking about us at all? 240 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:03,370 - You mean, get together for two years until you died? - Yeah. Yeah. 241 00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:04,930 I think you'd have a pretty good time. 242 00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:07,240 - Do you? Yeah. - Yeah, I'd be complaining a little bit. 243 00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:09,290 But I can get a nurse and complain to the nurse 244 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:11,160 and leave you out of that part. 245 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,870 Well, let's see what the tests... say. 246 00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:17,240 You know, we could do a lot of traveling. 247 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:18,620 You don't like to travel. 248 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:21,080 Would you mind if I brought the nurse along? 249 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,200 Okay. I think we're good the way we are. 250 00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:27,990 Yeah. 251 00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:30,950 ♪ 252 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,160 All right. 253 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,500 - What are you gonna get? - I don't give a fuck. 254 00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,160 Milos: Okay, Mr. Greene. 255 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,290 -Almost finished. Just need to pick up two... -Larry: Hey, Milos! 256 00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:45,660 How ya doing? 257 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:48,620 - Good. How are you? - Good. You coming over to the coffee store later? 258 00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:51,470 -Of course. I'll be there. I got to finish up. See you. -Larry: Beautiful. Thank you. 259 00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:54,790 - Milos, he's gonna be doing some work in the coffee place. - Yeah, he's fantastic. 260 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:56,240 Wh-what's that? 261 00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:58,290 It's a little somethin' for your wife. 262 00:10:58,370 --> 00:11:00,660 A birthday present. Huh? 263 00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:03,160 So how'd it go with Cheryl? 264 00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:05,040 Not gonna happen. 265 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,790 - No! - Yeah. 266 00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:09,330 - I'm sorry, man. - Well, you know, it's a long shot, anyway. 267 00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:11,970 - Did you think it would happen? - No, I knew it was a long shot, 268 00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:13,790 but what are, you know, what are you gonna do? 269 00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:16,830 I'll tell you what you do. You're gonna get back out there. 270 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,830 You can't date now. You can't... 271 00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:20,700 How do you even make a move in this climate? 272 00:11:20,790 --> 00:11:25,160 Plus, I got that sexual harassment thing from the, uh, assistant. 273 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,660 And I'm old and bald. 274 00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:28,990 - Old and bald. - Yeah. 275 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,960 - That means nothing. - Please. Are you kidding? 276 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:34,450 - You're rich! - You think rich beats old and bald? 277 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:38,120 You could have mutton chops and wear a, a cartoon tie 278 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,200 of, uh, Felix the Cat. 279 00:11:40,290 --> 00:11:41,750 Some old-timey cartoon. 280 00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:44,080 - You can, you can paint them blue, 281 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,830 and wear an Abe Lincoln hat. You'll be fine. 282 00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:48,290 - Really? - Trust me. Yeah. 283 00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:50,120 Okay. I'm gonna get back out there. 284 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,500 I gotta ask you something. 285 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,540 The other night at poker, 286 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:55,700 that invitation, it, it didn't get lost. 287 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,800 - No, of course not. - You made that whole thing up. 288 00:11:57,830 --> 00:12:00,080 - Yeah. Totally made it up. - Oh, you're good. 289 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,540 Blame it on the mailman. 290 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,160 - Blame it on the mailman. - Yeah. 291 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,120 - Susie: Jeffrey! - Oh... 292 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,870 - Oh, hi, Lar. - Oh, hello. 293 00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:09,040 - I didn't know you were here. - Larry: I am here. 294 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,500 - Yeah? What? - Stand right there. 295 00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:13,040 - Susie: Okay. - Don't move. 296 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,620 What? What? What? 297 00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:18,040 -What is that? -What is it? It's for you! 298 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,870 - For your birthday! - You've never gotten me a birthday gift. 299 00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:22,120 I did this year! 300 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,120 Yeah, what is it? What is it? 301 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,750 Susie: Oh, my God. Larry! 302 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,790 - Oh, my God! - Huh? You love it? 303 00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:31,750 Larry: I had it commissioned. A great artist. 304 00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:33,120 Gave me a big discount. 305 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,620 - You had this made for me? - Yeah. 306 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:39,080 - From you, of all people, 'cause you're not a giver. - No. 307 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,450 Susie: Oh, my God. 308 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:44,450 It's absolutely magnificent. 309 00:12:44,540 --> 00:12:47,500 It's magnificent. It's a work of art. 310 00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,330 It's not just 'cause it's me. 311 00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:51,240 All is forgiven. 312 00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:52,910 Everything you've ever done, 313 00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:54,120 every horrible thing 314 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,080 you've done to me is forgiven for this. 315 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,720 What are you talking about? What have I done? 316 00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,800 - Oh, my God. Jeff, what... - What are you forgiving? 317 00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:03,040 Oh, wait a minute. I gotta go talk to this fuckin' Milos. 318 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,870 Screwing up my deck. Hey, Milos! Milos! 319 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:08,370 What were you thinking? 320 00:13:08,450 --> 00:13:10,990 I thought I told you a camera, a fucking camera. 321 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,930 - Susie: This is mahogany cream. - You fucked me. 322 00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,140 - Larry: What? - Susie: It's shit. Do you understand what I'm saying? 323 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,660 -Milo: I wrote it down. Mahogany cream. -Yes! This is mahogany cream! 324 00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:21,330 - This is not mahogany cream! - This is mahogany cream. 325 00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,950 I'm not paying for this piece of shit crap! 326 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,790 You redo it, or you don't get paid. 327 00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:28,870 It's bullshit! 328 00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,870 - That poor bastard never had a chance. - No. 329 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:37,870 ♪ ♪ 330 00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:43,580 - Mr. David? - Yeah? 331 00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:45,660 I've heard that you're going around telling people 332 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,450 that I've lost their invitations? 333 00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:49,120 Wh-where'd you get that from? 334 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,950 Andy and Cassie David told me. 335 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,990 Can I tell you a little story? 336 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,990 I got invited to some kind of fundraiser, 337 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,120 prison art something. I... you know, I'm not gonna... 338 00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:01,040 I'm not gonna do that. So I said... 339 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,910 I never got the invitation. It got lost in the mail. 340 00:14:05,830 --> 00:14:07,240 - Lost in the mail. - Yeah. 341 00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:08,910 So, I'm the mail. 342 00:14:08,990 --> 00:14:11,800 -Yes. In this particular case... -I'm the guy that is delivering the mail, 343 00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:13,870 so that is a stain on an otherwise perfect record. 344 00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:15,660 I've never lost a piece of mail. 345 00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:20,080 - Come on. All right. - Listen, I just need you to please... 346 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,160 go tell Andy and Cassie the truth about this. 347 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,790 I'll consider it. Look, can I give you a little tip? 348 00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:26,580 If you're gonna confront somebody 349 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:28,750 and ask them to do something like this, 350 00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,990 it's better to do it with pants on. 351 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,330 The shorts... 352 00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:34,660 This is the required uniform for a postman. 353 00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:36,870 - Really? - Yeah. 354 00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:38,370 And the socks, too? 355 00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:40,410 -That's part of it? The black socks? -Right. 356 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,910 Yes. Post Office issued socks. Yes. 357 00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,200 They issue socks? 358 00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:45,790 - Yeah. - How many pairs? 359 00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:47,620 What does that have to do with this? 360 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,390 I'm just curious how often you have to wash those socks. 361 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,870 They give you five or six pairs, and you rotate them. Okay? 362 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:54,010 - How many pairs of shorts do they give you? - Listen. 363 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,850 If you don't want to go to something, don't go, 364 00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:58,080 but don't hide behind the US Postal Service. 365 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,500 It's hard to take a person seriously wearing shorts. 366 00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:02,750 I'm at work, doing work. This is my work uniform. 367 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,680 - I'm confronting you. - I'm giving you, I'm giving you... 368 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,720 - Excuse me one second. I was giving you a good tip. 369 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,040 - Good advice. - Take the call. 370 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,100 - I'm givin' you good advice. - Just take the call. 371 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,370 Hello? 372 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:13,200 - Larry David? - Larry: Yes? 373 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:14,370 It's Dr. Bahn. 374 00:15:14,450 --> 00:15:16,160 The test results came back. 375 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,080 Aah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 376 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,660 Dr. Bahn: As you know, we did a fine-needle biopsy, 377 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,450 - on the mass. - Oh, my God. This is bad. 378 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:24,620 - Dr. Bahn: And an MRI. - It's bad. It's bad. What? 379 00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:27,870 It's just a benign cyst, not cancerous. 380 00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:30,950 - You're clean as a whistle. - Ah! Ha-ha! 381 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,240 Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 382 00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:35,750 - Oh, thank you. Thank you! - Dr. Bahn: You're welcome. 383 00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:38,870 Ah! Negative! Negative! 384 00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:41,370 - Ah! - Just... okay? 385 00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:43,260 - Fine. The matter at hand... - I'll, I'll talk to 'em. 386 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,720 -Please tell Andy and Cassie... -I'll talk to 'em. I'll talk to 'em. 387 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:47,660 Yes. 388 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:50,040 Rita: Mr. Swindell will be here in five minutes. 389 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,160 - Make yourself comfortable. - Okay. 390 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,330 All right. 391 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,500 ♪ ♪ 392 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,750 ♪ 393 00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:25,990 ♪ ♪ 394 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,750 - Okay. Hey, Larry. - Larry: Oh, hey! 395 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:43,240 - Sorry to keep you waiting. - Oh, no, no. Don't be silly. 396 00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:44,830 All's good? You've been well? 397 00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:49,040 Funny you should mention it, 'cause I had a bit of a scare 398 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,620 at the doctor, I just got the results back, 399 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:54,370 and, uh... I'm good. 400 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,120 Oh, that's great. You must be relieved. 401 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,500 Well, I'm relieved, except it's been two days since I found out, 402 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:03,160 and not one of my friends has inquired 403 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,750 as to how the test turned out, not one. 404 00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:08,500 - I see. - I'm gonna dump the whole bunch of 'em. 405 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:11,080 - I'll get myself some new friends. - That's great news. 406 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,700 - Maybe, uh, maybe we could strike up a friendship. - I'm relieved for you. 407 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,870 I, I have a busy life, and, uh... 408 00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:20,290 but, uh, I am, I am really relieved 409 00:17:20,370 --> 00:17:21,890 - that you got the news that you got. - Mm, thank you. 410 00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:24,370 And I have some other good news for you, too. 411 00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:27,200 Which is that Ms. Huff's team gave me a call, 412 00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:29,830 and she would like to meet with you. 413 00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,330 Face-to-face, 414 00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:33,430 just the two of you alone in a public place, of course. 415 00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:34,660 Alice wants to meet? 416 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:36,700 The fact that she is reaching out is great. 417 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:39,160 That's fantastic. Maybe she's come to her senses. 418 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,410 If you just give her the chance to air 419 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,550 whatever she wants to air, listen to her, and maybe... 420 00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,760 Yeah, sure, yeah. I'll listen. I'll... we'll air. Yeah, listen and air. 421 00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:47,620 Roger: Then the whole thing could go away. 422 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,350 - That's good news. Look at you. The bearer of good tidings. - Uh, sorry. 423 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,120 Hold on one second. Just to get a tissue. 424 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,160 ♪ ♪ 425 00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:04,830 What's up? 426 00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:12,200 Problem? 427 00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:13,620 Did you use my bathroom? 428 00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,410 What? No. Absolutely not. 429 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,660 Why would I use your bathroom? You told me not to. 430 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,410 I mean, you did ask to use it. 431 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,410 Yes, I did, but you were quite emphatic about it. 432 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,580 And, uh, you know, well, what am I gonna do? 433 00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:27,790 - That's, that's the rule. - Your interest was not casual. 434 00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:29,870 I'm telling you the truth. 435 00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:34,040 ♪ 436 00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:39,330 - It's your old pal. - Mr. David. 437 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:43,410 Beautiful view here. How long did it take you to take it for granted? 438 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,790 Um... not long, I guess. 439 00:18:45,870 --> 00:18:47,830 It would take me about a day, maybe less, 440 00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:49,290 maybe a half an hour. 441 00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:51,370 And I would never look out the window again 442 00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:53,620 and go, "Ooh, look at that view." 443 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,450 Anyway, here for some validation. 444 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:58,120 Can I ask you something? 445 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,870 Swindell... have you ever used his bathroom? 446 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:04,330 - I have. - What? 447 00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:07,620 Why fly public when you can fly private, am I right? 448 00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:09,700 I mean, the public toilets, forget it. 449 00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:11,100 - Don't get me started. - You can't do it. 450 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,790 Have you been in a woman's restroom? 451 00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:15,040 Do you know how vile women can be? 452 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:18,080 Women? Oh, that's nothing compared to a men's room, nothing. 453 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,120 You guys get to stand up. We have to sit down. 454 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,620 Hey, you know what? I'll take you out for a night on the town. 455 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,080 We'll go toilet-hopping. 456 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,050 We'll, we'll look at men's rooms and ladies' rooms, 457 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,580 and we'll make a little comparison. Would you like to do that? 458 00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:31,410 - As in a date? - Yes, yes, a date. 459 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,700 I know this is something you've probably been dreaming about most of your life. 460 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:37,700 "Oh, dear God, please let me meet an old bald man, 461 00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:39,290 "who will take me toilet-hopping, 462 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:42,120 "from toilet to toilet, throughout the town. 463 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,450 Please, God. Please make that happen." 464 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:47,830 I'm game. 465 00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:51,120 I, I, I don't even know what to say. I'm shocked. 466 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,160 - Validation? - Yes. And your name is? 467 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,450 My name is Rita. 468 00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:57,830 Rita. You'll be hearing from me. 469 00:19:57,910 --> 00:20:00,240 You lucky gal! 470 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,240 ♪ ♪ 471 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,450 What? What? 472 00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:09,580 Larry? 473 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,910 - Hey. - What's in there? 474 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,580 Oh, it's a, uh... coffee place. 475 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:17,900 I'm opening up a spite store to take him out of business. 476 00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:21,040 I don't know what a spite store is, and I don't really care. 477 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,330 - I want to talk to you about something. - Sure. 478 00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:27,200 Somebody told me you were side-sitting Cheryl. 479 00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:30,790 -Who told you that? -The mailman. He said he was in a restaurant 480 00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:32,240 and saw you side-sitting. 481 00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:34,660 You're making too much about a side-sit. 482 00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,160 I side-sit with everybody. 483 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,050 I side-sit with my doctor, I side-sit with my therapist. 484 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,870 I've never seen you side-sit anybody. 485 00:20:39,950 --> 00:20:43,500 If you ever see me sitting, you'll see me side-sitting. 486 00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:51,990 Hello? 487 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,790 What were you thinkin' gettin' Susie that painting? 488 00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:56,910 Aah, I'm-I'm so sorry. 489 00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:59,370 It stares at me! It's just there! 490 00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:01,750 I go for a snack, it's staring at me! 491 00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:03,750 I wish there was somethin' I could do. 492 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,290 Well, I told you to get her a camera! 493 00:21:05,370 --> 00:21:06,830 Why couldn't you get her a camera?! 494 00:21:06,910 --> 00:21:08,830 I should have given her the camera. 495 00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:10,240 Jeff: Next time get her a camera! 496 00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:11,640 Believe me, there won't be a next time! 497 00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:13,410 Good! Don't get her anything again! 498 00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:15,430 I will never give anyone a gift again. What do you think about that? 499 00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:17,180 Jeff: I think it's the best idea you've had all day! 500 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,600 - I'm done with presents! - My birthday's coming up in a month! 501 00:21:19,620 --> 00:21:21,100 - What are you gettin' me?! - Nothin'! 502 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,990 - Jeff: Ha! Thank you! - You're welcome! 503 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:23,950 Aah! 504 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,160 ♪ 505 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,500 - Larry: I like what you did with this apartment. - Rita: Thank you. 506 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,410 - Larry: You play the piano? - Rita: I don't. No. 507 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,240 I borrowed it. 508 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,700 You don't play, and you borrowed a piano? 509 00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:42,750 It was a joke. I didn't borrow the piano. 510 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,290 Well, that's quite a, uh... 511 00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,240 That's quite an attempt at a joke. 512 00:21:47,330 --> 00:21:49,370 Thank you. You could use it. 513 00:21:49,450 --> 00:21:50,700 That's okay. 514 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:55,830 All right, well, we've come to that juncture in the evening where... 515 00:21:56,370 --> 00:22:00,580 a move of some kind is either... 516 00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:05,290 required or, uh... expected. 517 00:22:05,370 --> 00:22:06,830 I agree. 518 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,240 - You agree? - I do. 519 00:22:08,330 --> 00:22:10,580 -That's good. That's good. Now... -That's good. 520 00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:12,450 Given the current climate, 521 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,660 I would like to ask you a series of questions 522 00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:18,660 to determine how comfortable you are 523 00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:21,540 with physical contact as it progresses. 524 00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:23,120 All right. That sounds fair. 525 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:27,200 I'd like to begin by taking my right hand 526 00:22:27,290 --> 00:22:29,580 and place it on your right shoulder. 527 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,830 - Would that be acceptable? - That is acceptable. Yes. 528 00:22:32,910 --> 00:22:34,870 - Ah. Okay. - Okay. 529 00:22:37,370 --> 00:22:40,580 - Now I'd like to take this left hand of mine... - Yes. 530 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:43,040 And place it under your rib cage, 531 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,790 fairly close to the right breast, 532 00:22:44,870 --> 00:22:46,330 but keeping a safe distance. 533 00:22:46,410 --> 00:22:48,120 That is acceptable. 534 00:22:49,790 --> 00:22:51,500 - There we go. - That's very nice. 535 00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:54,160 Ah! By the way, throughout this process, 536 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,410 I would encourage any feedback. 537 00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:59,660 - Well, and I would expect the same from you. - Oh. 538 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:04,200 How would you feel about a little grazing of the lips? 539 00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:06,290 I think I would feel very good about that. 540 00:23:06,370 --> 00:23:09,080 Well, then a grazing you shall have. 541 00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,120 Aha. 542 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,790 And now... 543 00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:16,330 I would like to... 544 00:23:16,410 --> 00:23:18,660 graze again, but this time, 545 00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:21,580 with some intertwining of the tongue. 546 00:23:22,330 --> 00:23:24,950 - We could do that. - Excellent! 547 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:30,790 Hmm. 548 00:23:30,870 --> 00:23:33,540 Well, now I think we have to take a little break. 549 00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:37,370 With your permission, of course, I would like to take a video 550 00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:40,080 in order to document the evening. 551 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,240 You know, just in case there are any discrepancies 552 00:23:43,330 --> 00:23:46,160 of the he-said, she-said variety. 553 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,450 - Would you be able to forward that to me? - Of course. 554 00:23:48,540 --> 00:23:50,500 I will forward it to you and cc, 555 00:23:50,580 --> 00:23:52,580 or bcc to anyone you like. 556 00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:53,750 Fantastic. 557 00:23:53,830 --> 00:23:56,290 Larry: Begin session. 558 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,330 - This is Rita. - Hi. 559 00:23:59,410 --> 00:24:01,700 Um, Rita, you're here under your own volition? 560 00:24:01,790 --> 00:24:04,910 -I am. Yes. -Nobody forced you here. Isn't that correct? 561 00:24:04,990 --> 00:24:06,580 That is correct. Nobody forced me. 562 00:24:06,660 --> 00:24:09,080 - You're not here under duress of any kind? - No. 563 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,080 - You're kind of enjoying yourself, are you not? - I am. 564 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,040 Nothing, uh, untoward has happened. 565 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,800 Nothing's happened without your permission. 566 00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:17,500 - Absolutely not. - Thus far. 567 00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:19,160 Okay. 568 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,620 - Let's continue. - Let's. 569 00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:24,330 I'm placing my right hand back on her right shoulder, 570 00:24:24,410 --> 00:24:27,080 - with her permission, of course. - Yes. 571 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,870 And now, what I'd like to do is take this left hand, 572 00:24:30,950 --> 00:24:32,910 which I've introduced to you earlier, 573 00:24:32,990 --> 00:24:35,120 I'm going to place it on your inner thigh, 574 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,450 and slowly inch my way up, 575 00:24:38,540 --> 00:24:41,620 in a crab-like fashion, 576 00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:43,990 Well, seeing as it is our first date, Larry, 577 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,910 I think that I'm going to have to say no to that. 578 00:24:47,540 --> 00:24:49,830 - I'm perfectly okay with that. - Okay. 579 00:24:49,910 --> 00:24:52,450 And what if I took this same left hand, 580 00:24:52,540 --> 00:24:54,080 and extended it laterally, 581 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,950 and somehow wind up 582 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,950 on that right breast, 583 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,700 and perhaps, uh, gave it a little, uh, squeeze. 584 00:25:01,790 --> 00:25:04,870 Uh, that would be the worst thing in the world? 585 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,200 I'm gonna have to say no again. 586 00:25:07,290 --> 00:25:08,700 Okay. Another no. 587 00:25:08,790 --> 00:25:11,660 Hand's away. Look at the hand. All gone. 588 00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:13,450 Well. 589 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:18,120 - It seems we've reached a bit of an impasse. - I think so. 590 00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:21,870 End session. 591 00:25:21,950 --> 00:25:25,040 ♪ ♪ 592 00:25:32,290 --> 00:25:34,990 Well, I'd like to propose a toast 593 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,500 to Andy and Cassie. 594 00:25:36,580 --> 00:25:38,330 - Welcome to the West Coast. - Hear! Hear! 595 00:25:38,410 --> 00:25:40,620 - I'm sorry it took us so long to get you here. 596 00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:42,390 - Susie: But here you are. - Andy: Thank you so much. 597 00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:44,240 - Jeff: Yes. - It's a beautiful home. 598 00:25:44,330 --> 00:25:46,390 - Susie: Yeah, well, you know I have a... - And this is... 599 00:25:46,410 --> 00:25:47,870 This is quite an addition. 600 00:25:47,950 --> 00:25:49,540 Isn't it? Isn't that something? 601 00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:51,040 You know, if I tell you 602 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,910 who got that for me, you're gonna be shocked. 603 00:25:52,990 --> 00:25:55,500 Larry David, the most thoughtful man 604 00:25:55,580 --> 00:25:57,950 I've ever met, had that commissioned. 605 00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,950 Where do you find an artist like that? 606 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,410 You'll find it. You look it up. 607 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:05,290 You know what I love about it is... 608 00:26:05,790 --> 00:26:07,330 - the size. - Susie: The dimensions. 609 00:26:07,410 --> 00:26:08,680 - Yes. I know. - Oh, the dimensions. 610 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:10,870 Anything smaller would have felt too small. 611 00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:12,540 Bigger would have felt ostentatious. 612 00:26:12,620 --> 00:26:14,200 Richard: It's not even that, Susie. 613 00:26:14,290 --> 00:26:16,990 Know what it is? I've never seen you with, I don't know, 614 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,950 with such a joy for life 615 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,970 - in that painting. - Susie: Yeah, they captured that in me, didn't they? 616 00:26:20,990 --> 00:26:22,870 - Richard: Absolutely. - Andy: It's something. 617 00:26:22,990 --> 00:26:24,750 Did you have to send him a picture 618 00:26:24,830 --> 00:26:26,500 and then he painted it from that? 619 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,450 Yeah. 620 00:26:28,540 --> 00:26:30,680 Cassie: How long does it take once you get the artist... 621 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:32,540 I don't know. A couple of weeks. 622 00:26:32,620 --> 00:26:34,500 -Okay? Took a couple of weeks. -Cassie: Okay. 623 00:26:34,580 --> 00:26:36,990 - Mm. - LD, what the hell's wrong with you? 624 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:41,660 Three days now. I've gotten the results back from my cancer test. 625 00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:43,790 Not one of you bothered to call me and ask me 626 00:26:43,870 --> 00:26:45,950 if I got the results back. Not one. 627 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,330 And by the way, I did, and I'm fine. Okay? 628 00:26:51,620 --> 00:26:55,580 - Skyler had this paper due for social studies. - It was on Cuba. 629 00:26:55,660 --> 00:26:57,450 We were, we're very immersed in it. 630 00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:59,850 - I'm sorry. You're right. - Cassie: He's been working with her nonstop. 631 00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:02,750 And I, I, I honestly planned on it, 632 00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:05,370 but I, I, I planned on it. 633 00:27:05,450 --> 00:27:07,450 I ain't gonna lie, man. I fuckin' forgot. 634 00:27:07,540 --> 00:27:10,580 -Leon: My bad. -I already explained myself. All right? 635 00:27:10,660 --> 00:27:12,240 What kind of friends are you? 636 00:27:12,330 --> 00:27:14,120 Seriously! What kind of friends are you? 637 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,010 - But you're fine, right? - Larry: Yeah, I'm fine! 638 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,200 You know what? You can all go fuck yourself! 639 00:27:18,290 --> 00:27:19,500 Leon: Oh, shit! 640 00:27:19,580 --> 00:27:21,370 Richard: Holy Christ! 641 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:29,200 You ruined my painting! You destroyed it! 642 00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:32,200 Jeff? 643 00:27:32,540 --> 00:27:35,080 What kind of piece of shit, 644 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,370 motherfucker does something like that? 645 00:27:37,450 --> 00:27:39,700 Where the fuck do you get off? 646 00:27:39,790 --> 00:27:41,870 This was the prized possession 647 00:27:41,950 --> 00:27:44,990 - of this household. - I'm so sorry. 648 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,750 - So... You know what? - What? 649 00:27:46,830 --> 00:27:48,450 I'm gonna replace that painting. 650 00:27:48,540 --> 00:27:50,790 I'm gonna give it to the artist, he's gonna fix it, 651 00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:52,410 it's gonna be better than ever. 652 00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,080 You don't bring it back until it's perfect. 653 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,240 - Don't worry. I won't. - Wait. Stop, stop! 654 00:27:57,330 --> 00:28:00,200 We were at LACMA, and we met this guy who restores paintings. 655 00:28:00,290 --> 00:28:02,990 -He restores paintings. He's amazing! -No, no, no, no. 656 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:06,200 - Larry, we're gonna help out. Don't you worry. 657 00:28:06,290 --> 00:28:08,950 Hey! Shut the fuck up! I told you I'm gonna do it! 658 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,910 Okay! Okay! 659 00:28:11,830 --> 00:28:13,330 Susie: God! 660 00:28:13,410 --> 00:28:14,830 Larry: You know what? 661 00:28:14,910 --> 00:28:18,330 I think this whole thing can be a blessing in disguise. 662 00:28:18,410 --> 00:28:21,410 -Really? -Jeff: Oh, blessing in disguise? You tell me how. 663 00:28:21,750 --> 00:28:24,080 I've never been entirely happy with this painting. 664 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,410 He didn't really capture the luster of your skin. 665 00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:29,700 - Or, or the sparkle in your eyes. 666 00:28:29,790 --> 00:28:31,450 The sparkle in her eyes. 667 00:28:31,540 --> 00:28:33,120 Now I realize it. 668 00:28:33,580 --> 00:28:36,080 A blessing in disguise. 669 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,580 Okay. Thank you. 670 00:28:38,950 --> 00:28:41,160 - Susie: Let's eat. - Let's eat. 671 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,760 Milos: So, Larry, we almost finished here. 672 00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:48,750 You got... You're two-thirds done already. It's incredible. 673 00:28:48,830 --> 00:28:51,500 Plus, I have extra boards for you. 674 00:28:51,580 --> 00:28:53,700 I take it to your house and fix your pantry like new. 675 00:28:53,790 --> 00:28:55,200 - No charge. - What? 676 00:28:55,290 --> 00:28:57,180 - Believe me, I'm gonna pay you. - Larry, I take care of you. 677 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,500 - I can take the stuff to your house right now. 678 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,450 Ha. Mrs. Greene. 679 00:29:04,540 --> 00:29:07,450 She make bad recommendation all over town about my business. 680 00:29:07,540 --> 00:29:08,750 - What? - Yes. 681 00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:10,870 -Oh, my God. -Remember? I make mahogany cream? 682 00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:12,040 - Yes. - I work so hard? 683 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,410 - Yes. - I make it nice? 684 00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:15,370 -I know. -And what she do? She ruined my name. 685 00:29:15,450 --> 00:29:18,750 Oh, she's terrible. No friend of the working man. 686 00:29:18,830 --> 00:29:20,700 Okay. Larry, listen, 687 00:29:20,790 --> 00:29:23,660 I can go right now. I take the boards to your house, 688 00:29:23,750 --> 00:29:26,330 - and I make it fast. - Great idea. 689 00:29:26,410 --> 00:29:30,370 ♪ ♪ 690 00:29:38,330 --> 00:29:41,990 mahogany cream! 691 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:46,620 Mahogany cream! 692 00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:49,750 I mean, the whole thing was just a series 693 00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,750 of unfortunate misunderstandings. 694 00:29:51,830 --> 00:29:53,410 That wasn't Harvey Weinstein. 695 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:55,830 That was Jeff Greene, my manager. 696 00:29:55,910 --> 00:29:58,370 I guess the culture's just sort of changing, and... 697 00:29:58,450 --> 00:30:00,450 - Hmm. Yeah. - Um, we're 698 00:30:00,540 --> 00:30:03,950 - defining our boundaries more. - Boundaries. Boundaries. Yes. 699 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,540 And personal space, like for instance, my tattoo. 700 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:08,620 You don't get to demand to know what it's about, 701 00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:10,470 -because it's on my body. -Larry: No, of course not. Of course not. 702 00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:14,160 I, I'm not that guy. I know who you think... I'm not that guy. 703 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,040 - Okay. - We don't need lawyers or anything like that. 704 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,450 Come back to work. Bring Bogey. I miss Bogey. 705 00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:22,830 I miss that little doggy. 706 00:30:22,910 --> 00:30:25,660 - Larry: I'll bring him five bowls, okay? - Okay. 707 00:30:25,750 --> 00:30:27,870 If we can go back with like a mutual respect 708 00:30:27,950 --> 00:30:29,620 and honesty, um... 709 00:30:29,700 --> 00:30:31,800 - Alice: I really appreciate your openness. - Ted: That's funny. 710 00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,660 You know, this is how culture moves forward. 711 00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:36,990 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 712 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,660 - I'm side-sitting. - You can't side-sit with me. 713 00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:41,850 No, no. Wait. Where are you going? Stay here just one second. 714 00:30:41,870 --> 00:30:42,910 - Oh, my God. - Sit quiet. 715 00:30:42,990 --> 00:30:44,700 - Let go! Oh, my God. - Ted: Huh. 716 00:30:47,290 --> 00:30:48,950 Hmm? 717 00:30:49,790 --> 00:30:52,370 All right. You're all right. 718 00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:55,620 Let go of me! I came here with an open mind. 719 00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:58,080 - No, no, I... - You don't get to grab me, 720 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,700 - at a banquette or side-sit! - No, I had to side-sit. 721 00:31:00,790 --> 00:31:02,160 I had to side-sit because... 722 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,990 I had to side-sit because I... 723 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,240 Aah, what are you... No, Alice! 724 00:31:08,660 --> 00:31:10,240 Hey, uh... 725 00:31:10,330 --> 00:31:11,650 How'd those test results turn out? 726 00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,140 You know, everybody here is really pulling for you. 727 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,330 Oh, they turned out just fine. Thank you very much. 728 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:18,870 What a blessing. 729 00:31:18,950 --> 00:31:20,990 ♪ 730 00:31:22,540 --> 00:31:25,080 So Victor and Sammi want to buy a house. What do you think? 731 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:26,620 We give 'em a down payment. 732 00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:28,950 Is that too generous? You know, I never know. 733 00:31:29,700 --> 00:31:32,450 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Slow down, slow down, slow down. 734 00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:34,500 What the fuck? 735 00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:37,870 Larry, what the hell did you do to my picture? 736 00:31:37,950 --> 00:31:40,870 Oh, my God! It was beautiful, 737 00:31:40,950 --> 00:31:43,370 and it's all destroyed! 738 00:31:43,450 --> 00:31:45,540 You piece of shit, Larry! 739 00:31:45,620 --> 00:31:49,620 You piece of fucking turd nothing! Fuck you! 740 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:51,540 Asshole! 741 00:31:51,620 --> 00:31:53,120 Lucy: Mr. David. 742 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,290 Did you ask Ms. Huff inappropriate questions 743 00:31:56,370 --> 00:31:58,620 about her relationship with her dog, Bogey? 744 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,830 - I guess that all depends on... - Wait. Objection. Relevance. 745 00:32:01,910 --> 00:32:04,410 When she asked you to stop asking questions about her tattoo, 746 00:32:04,500 --> 00:32:05,830 did you respect her wishes? 747 00:32:05,910 --> 00:32:09,080 I was very curious about it. There's a guy with one eye. 748 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,990 I thought it might have been Mr. Clean. 749 00:32:12,950 --> 00:32:14,500 Do you have any idea? 750 00:32:14,910 --> 00:32:16,990 I have no further questions for the witness. 751 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,910 - You may go. - Thank you. 752 00:32:18,990 --> 00:32:20,870 Okay. I actually just have a couple, Lucy. 753 00:32:20,950 --> 00:32:22,590 Mr. David, the answers you're giving today 754 00:32:22,660 --> 00:32:24,260 are your sworn testimony, isn't that right? 755 00:32:24,290 --> 00:32:26,540 -Mm-hmm. -You came here of your own volition, 756 00:32:26,620 --> 00:32:27,910 - voluntarily? - I did. 757 00:32:27,990 --> 00:32:29,260 Because you want the truth to be known. 758 00:32:29,290 --> 00:32:31,990 - Absolutely. - I just have one question. 759 00:32:33,330 --> 00:32:35,160 Did you... 760 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,700 use my bathroom? 761 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,790 - No. - Roger: I grow tired of asking, Mr. David. 762 00:32:42,870 --> 00:32:44,830 And I remind you, you're under oath. 763 00:32:44,910 --> 00:32:49,450 Did you or did you not use my bathroom?! 764 00:33:02,950 --> 00:33:05,040 ♪ ♪ 765 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,910 ♪ ♪ 766 00:33:53,790 --> 00:33:55,290 ♪ ♪ 767 00:33:55,370 --> 00:33:57,050 - What are you doing? - I think I'm eating an apple. 768 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,050 Okay. I'm worried you're not taking this seriously. 769 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:00,470 You're blithely eating an apple here. 770 00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:02,260 There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely. 771 00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,330 - Yeah, but I need... - That's how apples are eaten. 772 00:34:05,700 --> 00:34:07,100 How do you serve eggs without toast? 773 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,800 You can't serve the eggs without the toast. 774 00:34:08,830 --> 00:34:11,160 You are like a president in the 18th century 775 00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:12,580 on the back of a train saying, 776 00:34:12,660 --> 00:34:16,330 "And there will always be toast with eggs." 777 00:34:16,410 --> 00:34:19,450 I think you can introduce me sort of as a renaissance man. 778 00:34:19,750 --> 00:34:22,080 A guy who speaks six languages. 779 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,450 You wanna impress people with lies? 780 00:34:24,540 --> 00:34:25,910 Well, how else do you impress them? 781 00:34:25,990 --> 00:34:28,120 ♪ 60734

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.