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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,091 -Are you nervous? -Oh, my God! Where -- 2 00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:05,309 No, no, no. You ready? Just right here. 3 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,310 Okay.Stay there. 4 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:08,312 Alright. Open your eyes! 5 00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:10,184 Happy birthday! 6 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,055 -[ Laughs ] -It's our farm of the future! 7 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,448 Oh, my gosh! Honey! 8 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,450 This is unbelievable! 9 00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,452 It's your plan to renovate the farm. 10 00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:19,323 Honey, you have everything. 11 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,282 You've got the hoop barnI want to build. Yep. 12 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,066 Oh, wow!How did you do this? 13 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,415 Oh, I didn't do it. 14 00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,330 Just a-a very combative woman on Etsy did. 15 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:27,070 But yeah.Oh, that's great. 16 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,290 I got you a giftfrom the gas station. 17 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:30,334 The men's bathroom key. 18 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,119 [ Both gasp ]Happy birthday, Young Mike. 19 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:35,252 Ohh. Rudy! That's so thoughtful.Thank you. 20 00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:37,080 Just curious. Whose giftdo you like better? 21 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:39,343 Mm. Uh... 22 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:40,083 You know, they're both wonderful. 23 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,345 Stop wasting my time.Pick. 24 00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:42,346 Rio -- Rio's is nicer. 25 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,347 Thank you. Yeah. 26 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,348 You ungrateful son of a bitch. 27 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,437 Oh, well --Okay. Well, alright. 28 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:48,091 Well, this is it. This is the plan. 29 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,311 I know.I just got to run itby my folks, 30 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,574 make sure they approve.Yeah. 31 00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:54,358 You know, it's been inthe family for generations. 32 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:55,577 I mean, they're all the way in St. Louis, 33 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,492 and they never come to visit us or anything, 34 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,189 which is --[ Knock on door ] 35 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:03,454 Together: Happy birthday! 36 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:06,109 [ Laughs ]Oh, my God! Mom! Dad! 37 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,154 [ Laughter ]And Matt! 38 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:08,155 -Ohh! -Ohh! 39 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,244 Oh, Michael. 40 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,288 Look at me. 41 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:12,376 [ Chuckles ] 42 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,508 Happy birthday. 43 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:14,378 Oh, thank you, Dad. 44 00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,337 Look at me! 45 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,164 Happy birthday, Michael. 46 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,556 -Aww. -Thank you, Mom. 47 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,558 Brother, look at me. Hey, happy birthday. 48 00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:22,299 [ Both laugh, smooch ] 49 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:23,387 -Oh, I missed you. -Ohh! 50 00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,389 Yeah, yeah. Look at me again. 51 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,391 So much eye contact. 52 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,306 Happy birthday! 53 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:30,351 Ohh![ Laughter ] 54 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,395 So -- So warm. 55 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,180 -Ohh! -Ohh. 56 00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:34,616 Happy.I'm a child of divorce. 57 00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:37,488 --Captions by VITAC-- 58 00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:44,626 ♪♪ 59 00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:47,194 Okay, they are unpacking. 60 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,152 Oh, good. Good.I just can't believe they're here. 61 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,414 Honey! I know! 62 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:51,589 I just love my family so much. 63 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,417 I know. I feel like I've witnessed 64 00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,419 more hugging today 65 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:56,551 than I have in my entire childhood. [ Chuckles ] 66 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:59,162 Gosh, I just hope thatthey're not disappointed 67 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,164 when they find out the plansfor the farm, you know? 68 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,383 Oh, they're gonna --It's just a very specialplace 69 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:03,384 for them, too, you know?No, I know that. 70 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,516 [ Oven timer dings ]Doth mine nose 71 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,430 smell pizza bagels? 72 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,606 Ohh!Look at this hound dog! 73 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,304 [ Laughs ] Wow! Yeah,this is Michael's... 74 00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:13,437 Wow. ...favorite childhood snack, right? 75 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,352 Welp, you can wash those babiesdown with a Natty Cuke. 76 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,441 What? It's a new cucumber low-cal soft drink 77 00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:18,399 that my company's launching. 78 00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:19,400 Check this out. 79 00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,444 I'm excited!Oh, yeah. 80 00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,446 Oh, it's delicious.Prepare to have your mind blown. 81 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,361 Mm. Oh, yeah.Looks thick. 82 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:27,408 Ho-cha-cha-cha. 83 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,670 That is -- [ Grunts ] It's m-- 84 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,237 There's milk -- 85 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,326 Is -- It's milkier than I, uh, expected? 86 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,588 Thank you so much. 87 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:34,545 -Ah! -That is so cool. 88 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,417 That's great. You okay, Dad? 89 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,635 Uh, oh, yeah. 90 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,420 It's just, you know, having everybody here, 91 00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,335 I just -- I'm so damn happy. 92 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,466 [ Laughing ] Ohh!Aww. 93 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:43,467 Happy birthday, buddy. 94 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,381 Oh, thanks.Look at that. 95 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,165 Come here. Just... 96 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,210 Both: I love you. 97 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,255 [ Both laugh ] 98 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,691 Oh, I love you, Michael.[ Gasps ] Oh, Mom. 99 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,345 Aww, I love you, brother. 100 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,434 -Good! Ohh. -There. Get in here, Matty. 101 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:54,609 I love you guys so much. 102 00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,263 -Ow! -Oh, is my hug okay? 103 00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:57,220 Uh, just kind of hurt my neck a little bit.Oh. 104 00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,265 Oh, I did? Yeah. That's okay. 105 00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,396 It's an old injury.Totally.Oh! 106 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,485 It had nothing to do with you.Ice it. Sorry. 107 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:02,399 Oh, Mike, uh, Rio had a great idea. 108 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,401 Oh, I did have a good idea. Um, I just -- 109 00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:08,231 I got this photo of you guys, um, back in the day. 110 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,364 -Oh, that's us! -It was Mike's 5th birthday. 111 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,627 Rudy had too much frosting on his hands and dropped him. 112 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,455 Look at Rudy. 113 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,282 What?[ Laughs ]Oh, my God! 114 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,588 He's like a ripped glass of milk.Right? 115 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,503 Oh, that's you.This is just an idea, 116 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:20,330 that we could, like, re-create this photo. 117 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,375 [ Laughs ]That's you. 118 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,507 Oh, you want to re-create it?!Um, tomorrow. Yeah. 119 00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,682 And, obviously, Maggie's not here, 120 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,510 so I thought maybe I can play Maggie. 121 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,469 Mnh. What? 122 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:29,513 It's a family photo. 123 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,602 Hmm. Oh. 124 00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,387 Oh, yeah. Duh. 125 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,518 Yeah, I didn't eventhink about it like that. Yeah. 126 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,259 Of course you can be in it. Oh! 127 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,434 [ Laughter ] 128 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,523 -She walked right into that one!-Oh, so good! 129 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:42,265 -Has this guy got it or what? -Ahh! Just great. 130 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,527 Ohh.Martin: I owe you one. 131 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,486 [ Laughs ][ Laughs ] Oh. 132 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,443 Okay. 133 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,663 [ Cash register dings, drawer closes ] 134 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:51,709 Wait, is that for me? 135 00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:53,668 Yeah, you -- you told me to buy it for you. 136 00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,452 I also told you to surprise me. 137 00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,454 Whatever. 138 00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:58,760 I'll still marry you.Oh. 139 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,457 Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 140 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,632 [ Taps on counter ] Hey! Stop it! 141 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,330 No! Take it outside. 142 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,506 We're engaged now. We can make out wherever we want. 143 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,551 I'm sorry, Brandon. 144 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:08,683 I know it's really difficultto watch two people in love 145 00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:09,771 when you're lonely and single. 146 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:12,513 Okay, it's not about that, alright? 147 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,428 This is a place of business. -Sure. 148 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:17,692 You can't just belicking each other in here. 149 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,433 No. No, no, no.We just talked abo-- 150 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,347 No, no, no, no. 151 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,652 Hey, uh, enough, enough! 152 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:22,653 Come on, now, Janine, Jacob. 153 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,481 Come on, get on out of here. 154 00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:27,528 [ Bell jingles ]Alright, come on. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. 155 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:28,790 I hate to say it,but I really am jealous of them. 156 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,748 I just want what they have. 157 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,446 I mean, not exactly what they have. 158 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,751 That was yucky. But, like... 159 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:37,581 You just have to get on... "the net." 160 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,017 Constance: Mm?Okay.I'm on all the apps. 161 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:41,542 Mmkay.The other day, I almosthad a date in Nevada, 162 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:42,760 but I wasn't surethe RV would make it. 163 00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,588 You were gonna show up in the RV? 164 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,590 Why don't you just bringa human head while you're at it? 165 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,679 I mean, I would get into an RV with a man, 166 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,377 but I know I'd never come out. 167 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,509 No, there's got to be someone on here that you can date. 168 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,597 Mm-hmm.You know, there's gotta be. 169 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:54,555 [ Keys clacking ]Come on. 170 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,600 Look, what about her? Look. 171 00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,385 She's butt-naked on a Lambo. 172 00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,604 [ Chuckles ]No, that's Clara. 173 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,519 Eh.Sometimes I catfish. 174 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:03,781 Meow, meow. 175 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,566 Glub, glub. Mm-hmm. 176 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,828 [ Whispering ] That's a catfish. 177 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,830 That's a catfish. She got melike five times already. 178 00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,788 I did! I couldn't believe it kept happening. 179 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:13,748 Mike: Well, it took me a while, 180 00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,793 but once I got the feed conversion ratio right...Yeah. 181 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,752 ...these hens startedcranking out eggs 182 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:19,623 faster than we couldsell them. 183 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:20,624 Wow![ Laughs ] 184 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:21,712 You've done marvelously. 185 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:25,629 This farm is your canvas, and you are Picasso. 186 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:26,630 Actually, you're better than Picasso 187 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:27,849 'cause you don't date teenagers. 188 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,590 Thanks, Dad. 189 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,722 Wait till you see his plans for the future. 190 00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:32,810 -[ Laughing ] Ohh! -Whoa! 191 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:35,378 -Right. -Oh. 192 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,771 So, as you can see,what I'm thinking about doing 193 00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,512 is tearing that shed down... 194 00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,601 Yeah....and putting ina hoop barn. 195 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,603 And I just -- I hope I haveeveryone's blessing. 196 00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:43,821 You're more than a farmer, my friend. 197 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,606 You are a visionary, 198 00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,651 and you won't let us down, son. 199 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,611 You are going to execute this to perfection. 200 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,743 -Ah. -[ Chuckles ] 201 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:57,835 ♪♪ 202 00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,620 What did y'all do? 203 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,622 We just changed your pictures. 204 00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:02,884 We Photoshopped out the RV, 205 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,538 and we made your smilelook normal. 206 00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:08,455 And I messaged a lot of beautiful ladies for you. 207 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,630 "Hey, girl, 208 00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,675 you're sweeter than honey."Yeah. 209 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,851 With a picture of Winnie the Pooh 210 00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,592 eating honey off his paw.So cute. 211 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,681 Okay, that is super lame. 212 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,683 Oh, my God, it worked. 213 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:20,423 Oh, look![ Gasps ] 214 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,643 I got you a date, honey. 215 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,688 Look at that -- Oh! Look at that bitch.Okay. She -- 216 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,690 She describes herselfas a "fun weirdo." Oh. 217 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,692 Mm-hmm.[ Gasps ] 218 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,694 Oh, and she has a pictureof herself with Jeff Goldblum! 219 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:31,695 Wow.He does not do thatfor just anyone. 220 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:34,698 He does not. And she plays Minecraft?! 221 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:35,873 Whoa, this might be my wife.What -- W-- 222 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,701 Yes!Uh, uh, honey, honey, honey. 223 00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:38,702 You take the police cruiser 224 00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,704 and go sweep her off her feet. 225 00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,706 Okay. Wait. 226 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,665 But is taking a police car better than the RV? 227 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:45,840 [ Stammers ] Yes!Hurry up! Just go! 228 00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:46,928 Get that ass. 229 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,669 Okay. Get that ass. 230 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,453 I would get in Jeff Goldblum's RV. 231 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:53,456 Must feel very satisfying to have, you know, 232 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,720 your whole family kind of stand by you, love your plan. 233 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,592 Yeah, yeah, I liked it a lot. 234 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,811 I mean, obviously, I have toscrap the whole plan now. 235 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:02,639 What do you mean?Well, you heardhow much they loved it. 236 00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,467 The weight of that pressure 237 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,687 makes me feel likewhatever we do on this farm 238 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,732 has to be absolutely perfect, 239 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,691 or I'm gonna completelylet them down. 240 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,475 Anything that you do, 241 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:13,868 they're gonna be so proud of you. 242 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,739 You know, it's like your dad -- 243 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,741 he, like, takes one of those cucumber sodas of Matt's 244 00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,526 and he just chugs it without flinching. 245 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:20,831 Yeah. Like --[ Imitates explosion, chuckles ] 246 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,877 Well, what -- Wait.Why would he flinch? 247 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,487 Because it's -- it ta-- 248 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,663 It's terr-- It's a horrible drink. 249 00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:28,883 I mean, you get that, right? 250 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:30,537 It tastes --Well, I didn't love it,but I don't like cucumber. 251 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:31,842 But do you -- Wait,do you think my parents 252 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,714 were faking their reaction? No, it -- It t-- 253 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,672 Yes! 'Cause they --My family's not like that. 254 00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:37,718 They're -- They're honest people, you know? 255 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:38,849 Very, very honest. 256 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,722 That soda tastes like pure ass. 257 00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,680 It did taste like --like baby burps, and I don't -- 258 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,768 -Aah! -Oh, my God! 259 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:45,987 -Ohh! -Rudy? 260 00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,554 Whoops.I'm so sorry! 261 00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,730 We were just getting ready for the photo tomorrow. 262 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,558 Really exciting. We got our props. 263 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:52,689 The one thing we're curious about is... 264 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,778 The ta-- Yeah....this table. 265 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:55,779 Do you knowwhere this table is? 266 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:56,780 Do you know where this table is?Just here in the photo? 267 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:57,955 Are you okay?No, I have no memory 268 00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,740 of that table whatsoever. 269 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:00,915 Ask me again, I'll say the same thing. 270 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,874 Okay. Like, do you know where the table is, or...? 271 00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,572 You keep asking me about things I don't know anything about. 272 00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:06,790 It's starting to piss me off! 273 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,531 Okay, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey. 274 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,881 My mother told uswhat happened on that day, 275 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,535 so you don't need to be embarrassed.Oh, yeah. 276 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:13,754 We laugh about that.Oh, 'cause of the -- [ Laughs ] Yeah. 277 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,756 Yeah. You laugh at us? 278 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:16,757 Yeah.That's kind of rude. I tried my best. 279 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,889 Your mom is not an easy woman to please sexually. 280 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,978 [ Chicken clucking ] 281 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,676 [ Theresa bleats ] 282 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,939 I'm sorry? You --You laid with my mom? 283 00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:25,983 Yes, on the table. 284 00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,724 What story were you talking about? 285 00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:30,901 Oh, my --We were j-- 286 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,773 We were talking about when you got, uh... 287 00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:34,818 Oh, my God!...cake frosting on your hand 288 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,037 and you were holding Baby Mike and -- 289 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,821 and he fell, and that's... 290 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,693 Oh, that story. [ Laughs ] 291 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:40,694 Memories. 292 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,913 [ Laughs ] Oh, God. 293 00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,785 This was all a dream.Oh -- Oh, God. 294 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:45,916 This was a dream. Look at me.Oh, my God. Uh... 295 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,788 Yeah, that doesn't work.Look at me. 296 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:48,658 This was all a dream. Mike! 297 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,011 Rio: Hey. Hey, sweetie. 298 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:55,796 Oh. 299 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,798 ♪ Happy birthday to you, my love ♪ 300 00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:58,581 Thank you. 301 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,844 ♪ You did not sleep welllast ni-ight ♪ 302 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,716 I did not sleep a ton...I know. 303 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:03,847 ...but, you know, whatever. 304 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,067 I got a birthday 5K to run, so... 305 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:08,722 So, every birthday,you have to do a 5K? 306 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:09,984 Oh, yeah, ev-- It's mandatory. 307 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:11,028 Always a 5K birthday run.[ Sighs ] 308 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,813 I want to tell you something. 309 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:15,859 I feel for you right now.And I'm here for you. 310 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,948 I'm just pouring love to you,and I want you to know, 311 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,037 you know, all this, like,deep family secrets stuff, 312 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,648 these betrayalsand things like that -- 313 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:23,824 I-I understand that. 314 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:24,738 That's some -- That's some classic 315 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,828 Levine family shenanigans.Hmm. 316 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:28,959 And I'm kind of like,"Hold up." 317 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,875 Like, "Do we really want togo on a 5K right now?" 318 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:33,007 Mnh-mnh."Or do we want to go intothe living room 319 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,009 and just havea little family talk?" 320 00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,967 You know?Listen, we're never, ever talking about that. 321 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,882 We're gonna bottle that right up, 322 00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:39,753 seal it with duct tape, 323 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,798 bury it in a 20-foot-deep hole. 324 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,018 You got to promise me. This is what I want for my birthday. 325 00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,019 This stays secret. 326 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,762 Well, I got you the farm modelfor your birthday. 327 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:51,112 Okay, then, I guessI'm requesting a second present. 328 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,027 I got -- I also got you a vest. 329 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:56,117 Could I return the vest for this favor? 330 00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,990 Okay, I will do it becauseyou are the birthday boy 331 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:02,689 and because this is your familyand I respect that. 332 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:03,907 Okay? Okay. 333 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,867 I do have one questionfor you, if I may. 334 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:07,911 I'm not Rudy's son. 335 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,913 I -- We took a DNA test last year for Christmas...Oh. 336 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:10,914 ...the whole family, 337 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,873 and we're all in the same tree. 338 00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:13,700 There's no... Yeah. 339 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:14,875 ...shrubbery getting in there. 340 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,006 No, I wasn't gonna ask that. 341 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,922 Okay.Um, it is what I wasgonna ask, actually. 342 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:19,793 -Okay. -Alright. 343 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,882 Uh, let's get after it. -Yeah. -Whoo! 344 00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:22,709 Whoa, somebody's full of birthday beans! 345 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:23,710 [ Chuckles ]Yeah. 346 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:26,016 Michael, Michael, look at me. 347 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,104 Why aren't you looking at me? 348 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,149 Martin: Michael, look at your mother. 349 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,106 -Dude, look at Mom. -Look at me. 350 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,847 I am, I am, I am, I am, I am. 351 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:31,805 Happy birthday. Ohh. 352 00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:32,893 I love you. 353 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:33,850 -Isn't that sweet? -Thank you. 354 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:34,851 -That's sweet. -[ Smooches ] 355 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:35,852 [ Laughs ]I love you, too, son. 356 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,114 Mm. 357 00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,899 If there's ever anythingyou want to talk about, just -- 358 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,117 Okay. You know what? 359 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:41,728 Hey, look, birthday run started!Let's do it! 360 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,773 Point out local wildlife if you see it! 361 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,124 You play Minecraft?Mm-hmm. 362 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,953 Wow. I didn't get a gamer vibefrom your profile. 363 00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:52,826 Yeah, no, my profile's all over the place. 364 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,697 Lot of cooks in the kitchen. 365 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:55,219 You know how it is. 366 00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:56,873 Not really. 367 00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:02,923 [ Cellphone chiming ]Oh! Sorry. 368 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,881 Blowing up. 369 00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:05,969 Hmm. 370 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,058 Hmm. 371 00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,800 [ Indistinct conversations ] 372 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:16,937 Are you crazy? 373 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,939 What are you doing here?You haven't been returningmy phone calls. 374 00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:22,725 I made a man's profile online and messaged your date. 375 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,945 The name's Diego Loco. 376 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,947 And she te gusta. 377 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:27,948 And she agreed to go out with Diego 378 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,950 while she was on a date with you. 379 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:30,864 She's not serious about you! 380 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,866 Of course she's not serious about me. 381 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,128 We just met. 382 00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,956 I'm gonna go back in there. 383 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:40,134 I'm gonna finish my date. And, you, drive my house home. 384 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,962 Please! 385 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:42,919 And Diego Loco? 386 00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:44,791 That's racist. 387 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:48,969 [ Sighs ] Sorry.Running around out there. 388 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:49,883 I just paid. 389 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:53,974 Okay. Uh, well,I'll get the next one. 390 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:54,801 Let's keep this thing going. 391 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,760 Oh, cool. Yeah.Where should we go? [ Chuckles ] 392 00:11:57,804 --> 00:12:00,110 That gross RV, where you just took a secret meeting? 393 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,938 Don't abduct me. 394 00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,766 [ Cellphone beeps ]I'm filming you. 395 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,029 All my friends on Minecraft know I'm here, 396 00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,945 and they will hunt you down and make a podcast about you! 397 00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:12,209 O-Okay, well -- well, myfriends on Minecraft 398 00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:13,994 will say something different! 399 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:17,998 They'll say I was a quiet guywho kept to himself! 400 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:18,955 [ All panting ] 401 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:21,001 I just followed a little bunny for like a half a mile. 402 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,045 It was awesome! 403 00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,830 Had a good run.Oh, yeah. 404 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,962 Hey, Michael, you're phenomenal. 405 00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:27,137 You're like a human gazelle. 406 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:29,052 How do you run so fast?[ Chuckles ] 407 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,011 You know, I just imagined I was being chased 408 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,229 by something scary I didn't want to confront. 409 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,143 Hey! Oh, hey! Go, Rio! 410 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,189 Oh, God. [ Panting ] 411 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,234 Thank God you guys stop every mile to do push-ups. 412 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,193 Otherwise, you would have lapped me.Yeah. 413 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:40,803 Matt: [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 414 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,196 -Holy smokes! It's Rudy! -What? 415 00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,153 -Rudy! -Hey! -Oh, for... 416 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,851 -Hey, you! -Oh, boy. 417 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,070 -There it is. -Really good to see you. 418 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,202 Rio: Oh, man, she's reallytouching his face. Look at her. 419 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,290 Oh, boy.Just caressing him. 420 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,291 Oh, my goodness. 421 00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:51,814 -[ Laughs ] -Yeah. 422 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,207 The -- The -- The chemistry's undeniable. 423 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,295 It's undeniable, right?Aah. 424 00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:58,038 Oh! Now that we have Rudy,let's take that photo! 425 00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,256 That's a great idea.Yeah. Okay. 426 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,170 We'll get cleaned up.Yeah, great idea. 427 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,868 Great. We'll clean up. 428 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,000 You get it done, and you move forward. 429 00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,959 I'm sorry. I know this isuncomfortable for all of us. 430 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,047 If I couldgo back in time and only 431 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,092 make love to your motherwith my hands, I would. 432 00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,093 Cut it out.Rudy. 433 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,094 Sorry.Cut it out. 434 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,052 I'm sorry.You're on very thin ice. 435 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:14,054 Okay, okay, let's take this picture. 436 00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,838 Good.Have a little fun. 437 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,057 Oh, Rio, you look amazing!Time to have fun and take this picture. 438 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,973 I mean, you even have Maggie's nervous energy. 439 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,061 [ Laughs ]Yes, well, that's me. 440 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,062 I'm -- [ Laughs nervously ]I'm Maggie! 441 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:22,976 -Okay. -I'm freaking out. 442 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,194 Okay, coming in. 443 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,066 Watch your toes, everybody. 444 00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,328 -That's our kitchen table. -That's the kitchen table. 445 00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:29,983 Well, it turns out the table in the picture 446 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,245 is actually the one you guys eat off of every day. 447 00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,116 How crazy is that?! 448 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,117 -It's -- -Oh, my God. It's... -Right?! 449 00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,989 Yeah. ...uh, disturbingly crazy, yeah. 450 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:38,034 Somebody put a nice finish on this. 451 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,036 This table has seen a lot of love. 452 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,125 Oh, uh, let's take the picture! Let's take the picture.Okay. 453 00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,257 Yeah, okay.This is great.Isn't this great? 454 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,086 Okay, places, everyone. [ Chuckles ] 455 00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:46,869 Okay, Matthew, you're -- 456 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,218 Yeah, you're down in front. Yeah. 457 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,872 Okay, Rudy, where were you? 458 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,352 Behind Maryanne. 459 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,223 Hey!I-It doesn't have tobe exact, though. 460 00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,008 We could just kind of,like, wing it. 461 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,140 Well, actually, uh, we're tryingto re-create a photograph. 462 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,013 It doeshave to be exact, or the premise collapses. 463 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:02,929 Um, Michael, can you put your face on the table 464 00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:05,018 and smoosh it around, like a baby? 465 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:07,107 No, absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no.Come on. Get in there. 466 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,238 Sweetheart, just a quick, little smoosh.Rio: You know what? 467 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,284 He's not much of a smoosher.It's easy. 468 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,112 You just smoosh --Oh! Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad. 469 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,070 What? D-Don't put your face on there! 470 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:16,116 -Ugh! -Look at me. Look at me! 471 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,117 What has gotten into you? 472 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,075 Look at me. I've got your back. 473 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:22,035 Okay, I know what you did on this table. 474 00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,080 Did s-something happen on this ta-- 475 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,169 Oh. 476 00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,042 Oh. Oh! 477 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,914 Aw, I guess we couldn't hide it forever. 478 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,134 Nope. I guess it's time you knew, son. 479 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,136 Di-- 480 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,354 Y-You know about the affair? 481 00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:38,965 Oh, of course I know. [ Chuckles ] 482 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:39,966 She's my wife.[ Chuckles ] 483 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:41,924 [ Chuckles ]Can you believe this?! 484 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,926 Oh, yeah, I already knew.You knew?! 485 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,189 Yeah, I read Mom's e-mail. -Uh, you read my e-mail?! 486 00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,930 Wait, you were e-mailing about this? 487 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,149 The dummy of the family knew?! 488 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,977 -Okay.-Who's the dummy of the family? 489 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,152 Okay, so, there'sa lot of new information 490 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,327 on the table here.[ Chuckles incredulously ] 491 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:54,328 Sorry to bring up "table." 492 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,156 It meant nothing. 493 00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:57,200 It was a couple of hot nights 494 00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:59,072 during the summer your fatherand I were separated. 495 00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,116 [ Sighs ]Rio: They -- They wereseparated. 496 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,162 You didn't tell methat they were separated. 497 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:02,989 No, well, I couldn't have told you that 498 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:04,164 because I had no idea you guys were separated. 499 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,382 What is going on here?! 500 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,949 Your mother came here 501 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,951 when I was living with two women in Quebec. 502 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,216 You were with two Canad-- At the same time?!Yes. 503 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,175 But I wasn't in charge. [ Chuckles ] 504 00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:18,178 We didn't tell you becausewe didn't want you to be upset. 505 00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:20,006 You weren't in charge?Oh, well, mission accomplished. 506 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:22,399 This will be the most memorable birthday of my life. 507 00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:26,012 So, thank you all so much. I can'tbelieve you knew. 508 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,100 Honey, do you want meto come with you? 509 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,231 I'm gonna be alone! 510 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,191 I think Michael is mad. 511 00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,148 Oh, is he? Yeah. 512 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,194 I didn't realize that. 513 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,196 Thank you for that observation, Matthew. 514 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:36,979 Uh, don't pick on Matty. 515 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,111 I feel like, you know, with all due respect 516 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,113 to your process in this situation, 517 00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,158 I do feel that you should have told Mike. 518 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,464 I wanted to, but no onewould listen to me. 519 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,031 I knewthis was gonna happen. 520 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,249 -And -- -Maryanne, listen to that. 521 00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,381 You gave birth to Nostradamus. 522 00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,252 -Well -- -Stop it. 523 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:50,253 This is turning intothe charades incident. 524 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:53,169 I don't know who Mariah Carey is! 525 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:54,997 She sang "Vision of Love." Classic. 526 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,390 Oh, you know who she is. 527 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,392 [ Maryanne and Matt vocalizing ] 528 00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,306 Martin: But you can't do that in charades!Now this reminds me of home. 529 00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:07,357 This is a special blend that I use with my family. 530 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,359 Particularly, there was this --couple Thanksgivings back, 531 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:12,145 my aunt locked herself in the bathroom 532 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,233 and shaved her head. 533 00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,148 It was, like, a whole... 534 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:17,193 She does it every year. It's like -- [ Scoffs ] 535 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:19,456 Well, our family never fights. 536 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,067 [ Sighs ] 537 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,416 I don't know what to do. 538 00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:24,026 There's two ways to go. 539 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,375 You could do what my family does, 540 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,247 which is to lie and manipulate each other, 541 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,380 or you could just be honest with yourself. 542 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:33,253 It feels so much better. Be honest with everyone else. 543 00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:36,256 You're right. You're right.You're right. You are so right. 544 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,213 I'm going totell you everything. 545 00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,475 Oh. Okay, well -- 546 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:41,435 Martin and I werein a rut romantically. 547 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,263 Oh. 548 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,308 It was like Martha Stewartand Snoop Dogg. 549 00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:46,179 I mean, they had chemistry.Sure. 550 00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,225 You know, but they never had sex. Sure. 551 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:50,313 So... Mm-hmm? 552 00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:52,185 ...we decided to exploreour sexuality 553 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:53,490 'cause everyonewas doing that back then. 554 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:57,494 So I thought to myself,"If I am into light BDSM"... 555 00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,279 Mm-hmm...."should I find out?" 556 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,323 Sure.[ Chuckles ] 557 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:03,326 So I did,and I am quite into it. 558 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,067 Well, we had this canopy bed... 559 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,460 Okay. ...and we had thesestraps that'd hang from it. 560 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,288 Sure. And, oh, 561 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:09,332 I tell you,I'm lucky to be alive. 562 00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:10,333 [ Both chuckle ] 563 00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,508 Amen to that. Oh. 564 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:14,120 Mmm! Ah. 565 00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,121 Chicory, right? 566 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,123 Yes. Good nose. Yeah. 567 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,341 I'm pretty good with flavors. 568 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,429 Are you? Yeah. 569 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,214 Hmm. So, anyway, 570 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,432 it's pretty stressful right now. 571 00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,304 Yeah. I mean, 572 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:25,522 Natty Cuke is a slam dunk. 573 00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,133 That's obvious. Is it? 574 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:30,136 But, um, I spent a ton on research. 575 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,094 Hmm. Couldn't get a loan from the bank, 576 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,356 so I borrowed money from this guy Jerry. 577 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,531 I met him at the gym. 578 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,359 He loaned me all the cash, which is great. 579 00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,100 Oh! But it does turn out 580 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,493 that he's actually a pretty dangerous guy. 581 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,277 Oh. So, it's like... 582 00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:43,279 He's not dangerous to you, though? 583 00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,454 He's roughed me up a couple times, 584 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,456 but that is only because I've missed my payments. 585 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,370 Oh. So, it's, like, 586 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,329 I'll try not to do that, you know? 587 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:52,462 [ Chain saw motor revs ] 588 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,550 Sorry. That's really loud. 589 00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,291 Just let me... Wow. 590 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,553 I don't know quite what that is. 591 00:17:56,597 --> 00:18:00,514 Wah! [ Grunts ] 592 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:01,602 Oh, God. 593 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:02,516 [ Grunts ] 594 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,388 Oh, come on! 595 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,389 Honey. Ah! 596 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,174 Hi! You okay? 597 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:09,566 Oh, I'm great.Do you want to just get into it 598 00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,264 about the chain saw? 599 00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,353 You know what? It's timeto tear down the shed... 600 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:14,354 Yes....and build the hoop barn. 601 00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:16,182 It's time. Good.It's time. Yeah. 602 00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,574 I just realized thatI've been spending my whole life 603 00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,403 trying to beas perfect and happy 604 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:21,535 as everybody in my family... Yeah. 605 00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,145 ...and it's just beenso constricting. 606 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,365 I'm -- I'm terrifiedto make a mistake. 607 00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:28,194 But [Chuckles] nowI'm, like, totally free. 608 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,370 Yeah.Right? All bets are off. 609 00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,372 My dad was ina Canadian threesome. 610 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:33,416 Oh. Yeah. 611 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:34,330 And there was a guy named Todd, I think, 612 00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,376 up in Toronto, as well, so that -- 613 00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,204 Hey, guys! Come over here!I want to show you something. 614 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:40,423 Oh! Honey.Come here. Come on out! 615 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,642 Oh. Oh, sorry.I-I love where you are emotionally, but maybe 616 00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,209 just put the chain saw down.Sorry, sorry, sorry. 617 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,515 Guys, I just -- I want to say 618 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,431 that I get why no onetold me about the affair -- 619 00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:49,563 or the threesome.Okay. 620 00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,391 And I'm not mad.For the record, 621 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:52,348 it wasn't always the three of us. 622 00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,176 There were different combinations. 623 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,439 Sometimes I'd just watch from the closet. 624 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,572 That's probably enough details for me going forward on that. 625 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,617 What I wanted to say is, you know what, from now on, 626 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,403 I think we should just let go, 627 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:04,534 and I'm gonna tear this shed down, 628 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,536 and I'm gonna build a hoop barn, 629 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,321 and I might not get it right. 630 00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:09,452 It's not gonna be perfect. 631 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,324 Rio: That's right.But I want to do it anyways. 632 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,195 No, you're not.Rio: Oh. 633 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,415 You're not gonna tear down that shed.Oh. 634 00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:16,546 We're all going to do it. 635 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,679 -Oh! Maryanne! -Oh, yeah! 636 00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:20,420 -Sweetheart. Honey. -Alright! 637 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:21,421 -What -- What are you...? -Yeah! 638 00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:22,465 Mike: Mom, look at me. 639 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,380 Give it hell. 640 00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:27,557 -[ Laughing ] Yeah! -Walls are coming down! 641 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,472 [ All cheer ] 642 00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:30,647 Did you see that?Oh, that felt so good! 643 00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,214 Oh, and in the spiritof truth, Matty... 644 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,389 Yeah? 645 00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:36,479 Those Natty Cukes are disgusting. 646 00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,351 I'm so glad I was not the only one thinking that. 647 00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,440 I thought you guys said that you really liked them. 648 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:41,571 Well, I guess my question is, why so thick? 649 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,356 Um, there's eight, 650 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,401 um, solid organic cucumbers in each bottle. 651 00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:46,620 That's eight too many. 652 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:47,621 Guys, this is great feedback. 653 00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,275 And it's also very in line 654 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,667 with what the focus groups are saying. 655 00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:51,625 Yeah.So this is perfect. 656 00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,627 Thank you. Love my fam. 657 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,411 Rio, I hope you still love us, 658 00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,587 even though we have...problems. 659 00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:58,632 Oh, my God. Maryanne, if -- 660 00:19:58,675 --> 00:20:00,242 I -- You know what I'm gonna do? 661 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,374 I'm gonna give you my childhood journal, 662 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,289 and you can just feel better 663 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:04,420 about yourselves all around. 664 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:05,682 [ Laughter ]Trust me. 665 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:08,511 Wait, I feel like -- Bring it in? 666 00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:09,643 -Oh, honey! -Right? Is this a hug time? 667 00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,253 -[ Chuckles ] -Do I have the right moment? 668 00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,473 -Yes! -This is a hug moment, right? 669 00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,430 I got it right? -Honey, you're nailing it! 670 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:15,605 [ Maryanne laughs ]Oh. [ Smooches ] 671 00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,433 Mmm! So nice that all is forgiven. 672 00:20:17,477 --> 00:20:18,695 [ Chuckles ] 673 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,480 Unless, of course, it isn't. 674 00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:21,524 In which case, Mike, feel free 675 00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:22,525 to take your anger out on my body. 676 00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,615 You know what, Rudy?We're good. 677 00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:27,313 [ Chuckles ]You shined your lighton my mother 678 00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,489 when she needed it,and I thank you for that. 679 00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:30,707 God bless you.Alright, enough sweet talk. 680 00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:31,621 Matt: Yeah.Let's get to 681 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,536 shredding some shed!Yeah! 682 00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:34,450 -[ Laughs ] -Should we shred the shed? 683 00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:36,539 -Do it! -Whoo-hoo! 684 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:37,497 -Get up! -Whoo! -Yeah! 685 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:38,541 Michael, why don't you share 686 00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:39,629 something about your sexual past? 687 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:40,717 Nope.That's enough sharing. 688 00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:44,460 [ Bell jingles ]Uh, hi. 689 00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:46,288 I'm looking for Brandon. 690 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,724 I'm -- I'm Brandon. 691 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:50,336 Your sheriff ticketed mefor a busted taillight. 692 00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:53,687 She said legally I had toget it fixed here....by you. 693 00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:57,647 Well, let's get that taillight fixed, then. 694 00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:59,519 Okay, great. [ Chuckles ] 695 00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:01,347 Um, I-I could have swornit was fine, 696 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,305 and then she pulled me over,and I just -- you know, it -- 697 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,525 Yeah, no, the sheriff 100% did that to your car. 698 00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:10,573 Why is the sheriff in your shop? 699 00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:11,661 Oh, she works here.Do you know these people? 700 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:12,749 Yeah, it's my mom. Oh, my God. 701 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:14,447 Is this some sort of scam? No. 702 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:15,491 Don't kidnap me.It's -- Kidnap? 703 00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:16,666 No. Okay.Why would you say "kidnap"? 704 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,538 I'm gonna film it.No, no, no, no, don't film! 705 00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:19,582 Clara: It's not a scam. It's love. 706 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:20,670 It's love. It's love.Clara. 707 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,281 It's love. It's love.Clara, stop chasing her! 48509

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