All language subtitles for 7 - Blueprint For Murder-eng

[Tires Screeching]
[Horn Honking]

[Keyboard Clacking]

Mr. Williamson.

Where is he?
He's not in.

He's in there, isn't he?
No, really...

I don't believe you, ma'am.

You can't go in there!
Mr. Williamson!

It's incredible, isn't it?

Mm, yeah. ' Williamson City."

That's very... impressive.

Does it make you feel proud?
[Chuckles]

Haah! Haah!
Mr. Williamson!

Mr. Williamson.

I said, ' Where is he?"
At the construction site.

Huh.

[Heavy Machinery Clanking]

Where's Markham?
[Man]
He's up there.

- Markham up there?
- Who?

Markham.! Markham.!
He's not up here.
I think he's over on the bridge.

Hey, Mr. Markham! Mr. Markham!

I saw him five minutes ago
when he came in.
What are you yelling about?

Why do people have to scream?

Thank you, thank you.

Boy, that guy's sure in a hurry.
Yes, he is.

You wanted to talk
about the dedication later,
Mr. Markham?

No, Carl, I want to
talk about it right now.
What time is it scheduled to start?

9:00 in the morning, sir.

And you've got the seats facing east?

East? Oh, is that east?
Oh, yeah, that's east.

Now, we don't want the people
looking into the sun, do we, Carl?
No, sir.

I'll rearrange the seats,
Mr. Markham.
Thank you, Carl.

Beau! What a pleasant surprise!

Didrt know you were here.
What?

Wherd you get back?
Just in time, it looks like!

- What's the matter?
- Williamson City, that's what's the matter!

- Ah, you spoke to your wife?
- No, I didn't speak to my wife.

I just got back from eight weeks
in Europe, and I find she's off
at some phony health farm.

Well, maybe I better explain in detail.
You don't have to explain anything.
Do you know what else I found?

A bunch of letters between
you and her and about
a mile-high stack of blueprints!

Well, it's the most
revolutionary concept I ever had.

Boy, you know, Jennifer and I
assumed you'd be delighted.
Delighted?

Let me tell ya, nobody throws a lasso
around my money without my consent,
and that includes my wife,

and you had better believe it!
Well, you were in Europe.
There's no way to get in touch with you.

You could've waited!
We were positive you'd agree!

Agree? Heh! Forget it, boy!
The joyride is over!

Well, but the machinery's
already been set in motion.
Well, then you unset it!

And I'll tell ya somethir else.
Don't ever speak to my wife
or me again.

She's too young to recognize
a con man when she sees one.

And I suggest you consider what
you're saying. You're not talking
to one of your underlings now.

Oh, listen, I know exactly
who I'm talking to.
Beau, Beau. Listen, listen.

This project can give you immortality.
As long as that city stands,
your name will be remembered.

Name?
I'm gonna tell you somethir,
Jackson boy.

My wallet is a lot more
important to me than my name.

You really are a philistine,
aren't you?
What?

All you care about is money.
You wouldn't recognize art
if you fell over it.

We have a chance to do
something extraordinary here,
and you're trying to ruin it.

That's right, right, right!

And if you're on some kind
of an ego trip, you find
somebody else to pay for it.

Beau, I have a thought.
Would you commission me
to design your burial vault?

Hm! That'd be about your speed, yeah.
You really would like to see me dead,
wouldn't ya?

Well, I'll tell you somethir.
It wouldn't count for much.
Well, maybe your wife will have other ideas.

No, no. Don't mean a thing.
Because, you see, when I die,
all of my money goes into trust.

Oh, Jennifer'll get her share every year.
You can count on that.

But there won't be any cash
to build cities with.

Oh, and if you're thinkir
of any uglies,

forget it.

Mr. Markham,
Beau Williamson was here.
Get his wife on the phone right away.

She's in Palm Springs
at some health farm.
Golden Dunes Retreat?

That's the one! Get her!

She is there, isn't she?

I see.

Well, when will she be available?

All right. Thank you.
Williamson do that?

Yes, sir. He just barged right in,
and when he saw it...
All right. Never mind. Did you reach Jennifer?

They wouldn't put the call through to her.
The guests aren't allowed
to have telephones.

Call her back. It's important.

I'm sorry, but they said the guests can't
make or receive calls during their stay.

I see.

Then she's virtually incommunicado.

No telegrams, no outside visitors.

Just wheat germ and pushups.

When does she get reprieved?

Oh, she'll be back in time
for the dedication ceremonies.

Thanks, Miss Sherman.
I think I love you.

I needed that.

[Chuckling]
Beautiful, beautiful!

Hey, Freddy!

That is absolutely beautiful!

Bring that beauty back here!
What have you been doir to him anyway?

He's improved a lot since
you've been gone, Mr. Williamson.
Oh, I can see that. I can see that.

Thank you, sir.
Listen, you keep workir him like that.
I'll be back in a few days, check him out.

I'll take him back to the barn
and cool him off.
You better. You better. Hey, hey!

Huh! Gee!

[Chuckles]
Hey, yeah, man.

Beautiful!

I don't believe it. Hey!

Cool him out easy.!

Ahh.

[Exhales]

[Clicking]
[Grunting]

♫ [Country Instrumental On Stereo]

Hello, Beau.

Surprised?

What are you doing in my car?
Waiting for you.

Get yourself killed that way.
Or the reverse.

Get out.

Over there.

♫ [Classical Music On Stereo]

[Doorbell Ringing]

[Light Switch Clicks]

[Indistinct Clattering]

♫ [Classical Continues]

[Applause]

That's, uh... Thank you.
Sit down, please.

Thank you very much.

Well, as usual,
I feel like an expectant father.

But contrary to the norm,
each one seems to get more difficult for me.

I'm just grateful I have
so many wonderful friends.

You know, I'd like to also take this
opportunity...[Continues, Indistinct]
Hey. Where you goir?

Over there.
No one's allowed in there.

What do you mean, no one's allowed?
I see 30 people down there.

No one's allowed in there
without an invitation.

You have an invitation?
No, I don't have an invitation.

[Laughs]
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
You have no invitation,

so, out.

Actually, I'm a lieutenant in the police.
My name is Columbo.
Oh, lieutenant.

Here. You know,
and I came here...
Oh.

I'm just coming here
to look for somebody.
Who are you looking for, Lieutenant?

A Mrs. Williamson.
Well, I'll tell you, Lieutenant,
lot of people here.

Why don't you wander around?
Maybe you'll bump into her.

I see.
Thank you very much.
Okay.

Bye ya.

[Markham]
Yes. You've heard this before, but you
understand, it's a fantastic building, really.

Yes. You see,
it's to be 32-stories high.

It's revolutionary in concept, really,

because they won't be offices
so much as living modules...

almost cocoons where a man
can coordinate his, uh...

his activities...
outside the context of mere business.

In fact, if he chooses, it can become,
virtually, a second home,

a kind of a... a remarkable place
of mobility and freedom.

I don't know how the wives'll feel
about that, of course, but...

In any case, these units will be for sale
for all those who qualify.

You're asking about the price earlier.
We've been, uh...

Well, we haven't quite figured it out.
We've been dickering around
somewhere between 30,000 and...

35,000, 36,000 per unit, of course.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Uh, something you want?

Well, I didn't mean
to interrupt like this and barge in,
but I'm looking for a Mrs. Williamson.

I'm Mrs. Williamson.
Mrs. Beau Williamson?

- That's right.
- And who might you be?

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo.
You called the police?
I did?

Well, that's what they told me.
Lieutenant, I may not be
the brightest lady in the world,

but I do know whether
I made a phone call or not.

Obviously, it's some kind of mix-up.

Well, I'd like to get this thing
straightened out.

- Can anybody tell me
where Mr. Williamson is?
- I don't know.

- You mean he's missing?
- Well, to be absent is not
necessarily to be missing, Lieutenant.

I assume you understand the distinction.

It's just that he's
out of town on business.

And really, Lieutenant,
I didn't call the police.

Well, this is very,
very weird, because...

they told me that they got a call
from a Mrs. Williamson,

and she said
that her husband was missing
and he might even be dead.

Oh, that's ridiculous.
Wait a minute... Goldie.

Who's Goldie?
My husband's first wife.
She must've called you.

Well, why would she do that?
I guess because Beau's been
out of the country for eight weeks,

and he came back
on business for a day,
and I suppose, left again.

She gets a little tense
when the alimony checks
are late.

But that's hardly a reason
to call the police.

Well, Goldie's a little possessive.
Is that the word?

They've been divorced a long time,
but she still can't give up the ghost.

Mr. Williamsors a globetrotter.
Sometimes he takes off
at a moment's notice.

Doesrt even tellJennifer.

No kidding. Just...
Yeah, well, I'm sure he'll
show up in a few weeks.

If you'll excuse us,
if you've covered everything.

[Columbo]
Uh, say, did you build this?

No. No, one of
my staff did that.
Oh.

Yeah, come on.
You want some?
Yes.

Excuse me, please.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
A little on the slow side here.

Forgive me a moment.
I just wanted to stop by
and tell you that's a terrific building.

I mean it. I know a lot of people
like the old-fashioned stuff,
but I figure you gotta keep an open mind.

You have a new fan.
Yes.

Oh, absolutely. It's just marvelous.

Uh, tell me, how did you two meet?

Oh, Mr. Markham designed
a summer house for us.
It's incredible.

Really, it's a work of genius.
Jennifer tends to get carried away,
Lieutenant.

But you are a genius, and when everyone
sees your plans for Williamson City,
you'll be buried in commissions.

- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, what is Williamson City?

I'm superstitious, darling.
Let's not talk about our project
till it's hatched.

You'll have to excuse us, Lieutenant.
One of the obligations of the trade...
have to mingle.

Oh, sure.
Listen, uh, sorry to bother you.

No bother at all.
Oh, and don't worry about my husband,
Lieutenant.

Believe me, he's very much alive.

He's dead, I tell you.
I can feel it in my spine.

Little lower, honey. Ouch! That's it.

I know more about Beau Williamson
than that little lady'll learn in a lifetime.

Yeah, but you...
Lover, take my word for it.
He has shuffled off this veil of tears.

But how do you know that?
Because he always calls me before
he leaves town, and this time he didn't.

Yeah, but if he didn't call you,
how do you know he left town?
I spoke with the child bride.

You mean Mrs. Williamson.
The current Mrs. Williamson.

I call her the next ex.

Oh, don't get me wrong, lover.
She's half my age and twice as pretty,
but I like her.

[Chuckles]

Beau reached the point where
he thought he needed a younger woman,
and she's better than most.

I gotta say this for you,
you got a pretty healthy attitude.

I can afford it. He pays, you know.

I tell ya, lover, if gold lamé
was legal tender,
I'd rule the world.

That's enough for today, Miko.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Say good-bye to the lieutenant.

[Speaking Japanese]
Columbo-san.

[Continues In Japanese]

Sayonara.
Sayonara, sí.

She's a lovely girl.
She is a lovely girl.

Very polite.
I don't know what she said,
but it sounded like she liked me.

[Laughs]
Uh, oh, Lieutenant,
would you like to turn around?

I don't want to corrupt you.

Okay, you can turn around now.

Oh, fine. Uh, the point is this,
Mrs. Williamson...

My friends call me Goldie,
and since I'm standing here
practically naked with you,

you better be my friend.

Would you mind repeating that last sentence?
I don't think I quite understood.
[Chuckles]

I said, since I'm standing here
practically naked with you,
you better be my friend,

and my friends call me Goldie.

Oh, I see.

Well, Goldie,
uh, let me ask you this.

Don't you think it's possible that
your ex-husband could've slipped up
and left town without calling you?

No way. He never forgets.

Uh, does Mrs. Williamson
know this?
Why ruin a lovely relationship?

You mean to tell me that
your ex-husband is closer to you
than he is to his current wife?

Lieutenant, we were married
for 22 years.

We never had any children,
so we spent a lot of time
getting to know one another.

Jennifer gives him youth;
for the rest, he comes to me.

Now, even if he leaves town
for just a few days, he always
lets me know every time.

[Ringing]

Yeah? It's for you.

Hmm. Thank you very much.

Hello? Yes.

Oh.

All right. I'll be right down.
Thank you.

They found Beau Williamsors car.

- You see? What did I tell you?
- At the airport.

Now, I'm gonna go down and check it out,
but it really looks like he left town.

♫ [Country Swing On Stereo]

♫♫ [Stops, Switches To Country Ballad]

♫♫ [Stops]

♫♫ [Classical]

[Goldie]
Honey, I've got gold-plated instincts,
and I trust 'em.

I am worried sick.
But his clothes are gone.

His passport, his suitcase
and his car is at the airport.

What more proof do you need?

Uh, excuse me.
Did I hear you say that he took his passport?

Well, it isn't here,
and he spends a lot of time in Europe.

Oh, yes. That's right. Globetrotter.
That's what Mr. Markham called him.

Mm-hmm. Say, I noticed that he likes
country and western music.

Does a bear like honey?

I've tried to broaden his tastes a little,
but it's impossible.
That noise is all he listens to.

Tell me something.
Do you ever drive his car?

Me? No. I have my own.
What's all this guff about cars
and music and passports?

I feel like the original voice
in the wilderness.

Don't you two understand?
Beau's gone and nobody gives a hoot!

Who is Dr. Moss?

Oh!
What?

I see in your husband's appointment book,
'Dr. Moss, 10:45." The 11 th of the month.
That's tomorrow.

- You see? He'd never leave town if he had
an appointment with his heart specialist.
- Oh, he had a bad ticker, did he?

He has a pacemaker,
and his heart works perfectly.

The fact that he's
missing the appointment
proves it's unimportant.

Hey, look at this... blueprints.
What's he doing, building a bigger house?

Those are the preliminary plans
for Williamson City.
Williamson City?

Williamson City. I remember that.

Well, you mentioned that
down at the construction site.
What is that, exactly?

It's an entire community.
Churches, schools,

everything planned
from fireplugs to skyscrapers.

- And Mr. Markham, did he design that?
- That's right.

I can't imagine Beau
springing hard cash
for something like that.

Well, there may be some things
about him you don't know.

It's possible he's a bit more complicated
than you think, Goldie.

The day he came back he saw those plans,
and Elliot said he loved them.

Oh, then Mr. Markham saw your husband
before he left town.

Mm-hmm. They had a meeting
the day he came back,

and Elliot told me all about it.

Are you a policeman?
Yes, ma'am.
My name is Lt. Columbo.

Uh, excuse me for just one moment.

I was out at the construction site.
I don't know if you remember me or not.

Well, is something wrong?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, nothing's wrong.

No, I wanted to speak to Mr. Markham.
Is he in there?

I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
He isn't in.

Oh. Well, maybe I could
speak to him at home.

He only goes there to sleep. If you want him,
you'll find him at the university
giving a lecture to his students.

Oh, really? Oh, you mean,
he teaches too, huh?

Mr. Markham feels he has
a responsibility to share his knowledge.

Boy, I'll tell you somethir,
it's a wonder the man finds
all the time, right?

Pure energy, Lieutenant.
He's a dynamo.

A man like that throws off sparks
and never slows down.

Most of us can't keep up with him.
But we love it, naturally.

I mean, well, everyone likes to feel that
he's participating in something important.

He's an unusual man.
Tonight's lecture, for instance,
on Egyptian architecture...

pyramids, tombs, things like that.

He gave up his dinner hour to verify a date...
not the year, mind you, the date.

He's... Lieutenant?

Lieutenant?

Lieutenant.

Is this where he works?
Yes, it is.

Just wonderful.

Marvelous office.
Yes, it is.

Spacious.
Yes, it is.

Conference room?
Yes, it is.

Very handy, isn't it?
Yes, it is.

Wonderful. I mean everything...
the decor, the paneling, the windows.
I'm glad you like it, Lieutenant.

But, really, Mr. Markham doesn't
permit anyone in his office...
I see he likes music.

Uh, yes.
Has it right here in the office, huh?

Yes, he does.
Plays it while he's designing.
Classical stuff.

Uh-huh.
My favorite. Just love it.

♫♫ [Classical]

[Increases Volume]

Really, Lieutenant, it's getting late,
[Turns Off

and I have to meet someone for dinner.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to hold you up like that. Forgive me.

It's just when I start hearing this stuff,
I could just listen for hours. I'm sorry.

Yes. Well, if there's nothing else...

No, I don't think there's anything else.
Thank you very much. Good night.

Good night.

What happened here?
An accident.

Oh. Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Isn't that something?

'Williamson City."

If you ask me,
he doesn't deserve it.

Who is that?
Beau Williamson.

I know I shouldn't be talking about this,
but it's a shame Mr. Markham
has to work for a man like that.

You mean,
Mr. Williamson did this?

Yes, he just barged
right in here the other day
and smashed it all to smithereens.

Guess he didn't like it, huh?
People like that
don't know what they like.

All they care about
is what it costs.
Too expensive, huh?

Mr. Markham has a saying:
You can't put a price tag on genius.

Now, these are built
over the course of a generation
by an endless supply of slave labor.

Oddly enough, the pharaohs of the time,
much like ourselves,

were greatly concerned
with the crime rate.
[Door Opens]

The tombs were particularly vulnerable
because the Egyptians buried...

vast caches of treasure
along with their dead royalty.

So aside from being visually impressive
with their bulk and simplicity,

the tombs are also a marvel
of engineering skills,

built to withstand
the onslaught of thieves.

By the way, it's said that some
of the engineers who built the pyramids...

were sealed up in their own creations
to protect the integrity of the tomb.

Fortunately,
today's architects are spared...

that particular indignity.
[Students Chuckle]

Lights, please.

Uh, next week we'll move rapidly
into the Baroque Period,

and even more rapidly
into our first exam.

Now, those of you with failing grades
will be permanently entombed,

[Laughing]
At least as far as
this class is concerned.

Thank you.

[Students Murmuring]

[Door Thuds]
Didrt know you had an interest
in scholarly pursuits, Lieutenant.

Well, actually, I just came by
to ask you a few questions.

Say, that stuff about burying
those Egyptians, is that true?

According to some experts.

- Gee, I find that interesting; I mean,
particularly for a fella in my line of work.
- Why?

Well, you know, the idea of burying a body
in a place where you can't find it.

If I ever murdered anybody,
uh, that's what I would do.

Well, not many people have access
to the pyramids, Lieutenant.

Oh, you wouldn't put 'em
in the pyramids today.

No, today you'd have to find
another place, like, uh...

Gee, I don't know.
You'd have to, uh...

Like the, uh,
foundation of a building?

You know, now that you mention it,
that would be a terrific place.

I mean, you put a body under a building,
you wouldn't find it for a hundred years.

I'll keep that in mind, Lieutenant,
in case I kill somebody.

Now, if you'll get to your questions,
I haven't had any dinner.

Gee, you know, neither have I.
I can offer you some raisins if...

No. No, thank you.
Right.
I'll tell you why I came by. L...

Would you get
that board for me?
Oh, certainly.

Uh, yeah.

I came by because I'm still
looking into the disappearance
of this Beau Williamson fella.

Disappearance. So Goldie's got
you convinced now, hmm?

No, no, not necessarily.
Oh, by the way, I stopped by your office
because I wanted to talk to ya.

- I couldn't help noticing
that smashed-up model of Williamson City.
- What about it?

Nothing. I was just wondering
how it got broken.

Why-Why do I have the feeling
that you already know the answer
to that question?

Well, your secretary did say something
about Mr. Williamson coming in there,

and she said he was kind of mad
and he kind of threw things around.

There's a perfectly simple explanation,
Lieutenant.

Beau was angry and for good reason.

We went ahead on the project
without his permission.
It was very undiplomatic of us.

I see.

'Us."

Oh, you mean, you and his wife.

Yes. Well, Jennifer's, uh,
an admirer of my work.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she told me that.

Uh... Uh...
Gee, I got a little problem.
No, I'll... Here, I'll get it. I'll get it.

Thank you.
In any event, Beau came back
from his trip, and he saw the plans.

It took him by surprise.
Beau is a volatile Texan,

and when he gets angry,
well, it shows.

Fortunately, when I explained
the project to him, he was delighted.

I see. Happy ending, huh?
Hm.

But, uh, won't his disappearance
interfere with your plans
to move ahead?

Are we really back to that?
Lieutenant, all the evidence indicates
that he simply left the country.

Well, we did find his car
at the airport.
There you are. That should prove it.

It should, yeah. But you know,
we checked out every flight list,

and there wasrt
one Williamson on it.

Lieutenant, Beau is a...
He's a high-powered tycoon.

He's got exotic business interests
all over the world.

Now, isn't it just possible
for reasons not known to us...

that he might occasionally
fly under a different name?

Yes. That is possible.

Then I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
a very hungry architect
would like to get himself some dinner.

Yeah. You know what's
a funny thing about that car?

Car's got a tape machine in it,
and the glove compartment
is full of cassettes.

Everyone of'em is country
and western music. That's all.

And his wife tells me this man
doesn't listen to anything else.

Nothing unusual about that.

No, except the radio dial was set at 52.
Classical station.

Turned it on. Classical music.

I see.

You want a half a candy bar?
No.

Anyway, it seems that
whoever was driving that car...

must've been listening
to classical music.

It's confusing.

I'm sure you'll find an answer,
Lieutenant.

I'm certainly gonna try.

Anyway, thanks for your time.

Oh. Uh, as for your designs,

Mr. Williamson did give you his approval,
didn't he?

I already told you, Lieutenant.

- As soon as he got over his anger,
he gave me his full support.
- Right.

Thanks very much.

- You know, that's some coincidence.
- What is?

That music thing.
You're a great classical music fan yourself,
aren't ya?

I saw your record collection
down in the office.

Guilty, Lieutenant. I like classical music,
along with a few hundred thousand
other people in this city.

Me too. I like it myself.
Enjoy your meal.

Yeah, yeah, I know him.
He's that Texas guy.
What's his name? Uh...

His name is Williamson.
He's a very close friend
of Mr. Markham's.

Friend, huh?
Well, werert they friends?

Not the last time I seen that guy.
The last time I saw that guy,

he looked like he was
ready to wrap a two-by-four
around Mr. Markham's neck.

No kidding.
Yeah? When was that?

Hey, look, Lieutenant.
I got a building to put up, all right?
I'll see ya around.

Yeah, okay. I mean, I don't want
to interfere with your work.
But, look, there's one other thing.

Hey, look. Talk to Mr. Markham, will ya?
I'm just in charge of the nuts and bolts
around here.

Well, then you know
about those columns.
Heh! Not columns. Piles.

Oh, piles.
So that's what they're called, huh?
Yeah, that's right.

Well, tell me about 'em.
Well, I'll tell ya.

First we sink a hollow steel cylinder
in the ground.

Then we fill it with cement,
and when it hardens, we got a pile.

So that's what a pile is, huh?
That's right.

Well, that's interesting.
Uh, what do you do? You keep a record
when you put 'em in the ground?

Have to, and which one's first.

You mean you could tell me
exactly what day each one
of these piles was sunk?

The day, the time, how long it took
and how many men I had on the job.

Lieutenant.!
Still obsessed with pyramids?

Well, it must've been that lecture,
Mr. Markham.

I never really noticed buildings before,
but I'm interested in 'em now.

Carl, you gonna check on
those HVAC estimates for me?
Yes, sir.

I'll see you around, Lieutenant.
Right.

Hey, tell me the truth, Lieutenant.
Are you interested in buildings
or builders?

What do you mean?
Well, let's look at your itinerary.

You showed up
at my office, my lecture,
now at my construction site.

Well, actually, I just happen
to have some spare time, uh...

Perhaps you should spend your time a little
more productively. You're supposed to be
tracking down Beau Williamson, aren't ya?

Now, surely,
you don't think he's here, do ya?

Well, no. I don't see how he could be.

Well, if you'll forgive me,
I'll go back to my work.

Certainly.

I, uh... I assume I can look forward
to another visit in the near future?

Well, if anything interesting turns up,
I'll surely get in touch with you.

I'm sure you will.

Say, do you have the time?
I think my watch is out of order.

It's, uh, 10:30.

I don't wanna be late.
I got an appointment at the doctor.

[Air Pumping]
Doctor, really,

I never intended
to have an exam...
Shh!

Just a moment.

Blood pressure's a bit low.
Well, that's normal for me.
Look, Doctor, really...

I know, you came here
to ask me questions.
But a checkup never hurts.

Now, do you get enough exercise?
Well, I, uh... I walk a bit.

Doctor, listen,
I just had a police physical.
Can't have too many, Lieutenant.

The human machine
is a delicate instrument.
There we go. Now, you were saying?

Yeah. This is what I wanna know.

Look, it's 11:20. Mr. Williamson
hasn't shown up for his appointment.
Mm-hmm.

Now, was this just
another routine checkup?

When you have a heart condition
that needs a pacemaker,
no visit is routine.

You can roll down your sleeve.
Oh, yeah.

No, what I mean is this.

Was this particular appointment
any more or any less important
than the others?

Well, let me put it this way.
If Beau Williamson doesn't get to me,
or-or any other specialist,

he's running a grave risk
with his health.

Well, why is that?

This is a pacemaker.

You mean it's that big?
It runs on miniature
energy cells.

Well, that's sort of like
an electric watch.
Exactly.

It regulates a heart
that can't keep
a steady beat of its own.

Now, every year or so,
these energy cells
have to be replaced,

or the pacemaker becomes erratic
causing the heart to malfunction.

It other words, you could die.
Put simply, yes.

Is this a big operation?
No, but it is
a surgical procedure.

Could another doctor
besides yourself perform it?

Naturally. But, uh,
knowing Beau Williamson,

I seriously doubt if he'd put himself
in the hands of another stranger...
no matter how competent.

Mmm. I see. All right, Doc.

Listen, I wanna thank you
very much for the time
and for the checkup.

Well, it wasrt much
of a checkup, but you're welcome.

Now, if you locate Mr. Williamson,
tell him to contact me immediately.

All right, I will.
I'll do that.
Are you looking for something?

Uh, do you have a lighter?
You won't find one here,
Lieutenant.

And let me give you
some free medical advice.
Stop smoking those things.

Well, l-I've been trying.
Trying isn't good enough.

Remember, I deal in pacemakers.

[Mumbles]

Mm.

[Goldie]
Well, lover, are you satisfied?

Goldie, what are you doing here?

Same thing you are,
checking up on Beau.
He didn't show up, did he?

No.

Columbo, the man is dead.
Now, he would never miss
an appointment with a doctor.

He was always very nervous
about his health.

Now, that may be,
but there's no proof.

There's nothing solid to go on yet.
Columbo, what does it take to
convince you that I'm right? His body?

[Panting]
Please, slow down.
You're running me ragged.

Well, that's the object
of the game.

Isn't there anything
you do badly?
Yes. Lose.

I don't believe it.
Have you ever lost?
Come on. You're doing beautifully.

It's just that I don't get
my arm back in time.
Ready or not, I'm serving.

Oh! That's embarrassing.

Listen, your problem is you're getting
your racket back a little late.
Throw me a ball.

Can't, we hit them all out.
Oh, I'll get it.

No, let me.
I'm getting embarrassed to face you.

[Chuckles]

You know in Cannes,
they have trained dogs
that retrieve tennis balls.

I'll tell Beau somebody's
got something on him.

Elliot.!

What's the matter?

[Crying]
What's the matter?

[Continues Crying]
It's Beau's hat.

A battered, bloodstained hat
by itself means next to nothing.

Well, it looks kind of strange though,
don't you think?

We don't even know
if he was wearing a hat...
if he was killed.

We don't. But the question is,
where did it come from?

[Exhales]
When will the police lab
have a report?

Pretty soon.
I told them to rush it.
[Jennifer] I got them.!

Good.
What'd you ask her to get?
His army dog tags?

Yes.

You want a drink, Lieutenant?
No. Thanks anyhow.

What I could really use
is a cigar.
Beg your pardon?

Here they are, Lieutenant.
Lfinally found them in the attic.

But why you want them,
I don't know.

You see, army dog tags
usually have a blood type on 'em.
Yeah, here it is.

B-positive.
I'm sure glad he saved these.
A lot of guys usually do.

I still think this is
an exercise in futility.
We don't even know if it's his hat.

Well, it has to be.
It wasrt new, but he had
a lot of them around,

and the brim was fixed
just the way he always wore it.

Besides, it was custom-made,
so the label will be easy enough
to check on.

[Phone Rings]

Yes? Just a moment.
Lieutenant, it's for you.

Thank you. Hello.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's what I figured.
Thank you.

Blood type B-positive.
It's the same as your husband's.
I'm sorry, ma'am.

Then something did happen to him.
He is dead!

Now, Jennifer,
you're jumping to conclusions.
Don't be hysterical.

Lieutenant, tell her that
blood on a hat doesn't
necessarily mean that Beau's dead.

Well, that's true. It doesn't.
But I say we have a whole new ball game.

♫♫ [Classical On Stereo]

Sorry, strict orders.
He doesn't want to be bothered.
♫ [Faint]

He's playing that music awfully loud.
Bad mood?

He doesn't have bad moods.
Let's just say he's been happier.
[Blows]

♫ [Continues]

Miss Sherman!

- Miss Sherman.
- Yes, sir?

Would you get
Mrs. Williamson, please?
Yes, sir.

♫ [Stops]

♫♫ [New Song]

[Intercom Buzzes]
Yes?

Mrs. Williamson
is on the line.
[Line Clicks] Hello?

Hello, Jennifer. How are you?
Feeling any better?

I'm not sure how I feel.
I just keep thinking about that hat.

Well, that's-that's what
I called you about. You know,
I may have an explanation for you.

What?
Well, I've got to check on a few things
before I tell you anything.

You think you can arrange
to have Beau's will sent over?

Beau's will?
What on earth for?
Just trust me.

Get out of there.!

That won't help, Goldie.
I've already seen 'em.

You said you wanted to talk,
and suddenly I find you
poking around in my closet.

Now, you've got no right.
Two of Beau's old hats
left over from the old days.

I had a hunch
there were three on that shelf.

I don't know what
you're talking about.
Oh, don't you?

Well, you planted that hat.
You manufactured the whole show...

just to back up your story
that Beau's dead.
[Scoffs]

You're reaching, mister.
[Chuckles]

Now, what's that?
It's Beau's will.
It's an interesting document.

Shows why you're so eager
to prove he's dead.

Mister, you're farther out
than your buildings.

Now, according to this,
the minute Beau Williamsors
officially dead,

you inerit 25% of his estate.

That's a lot of gold lamé.
Much more than you'll
ever see in alimony.

Now, you listen to me.
You're after me for some reason,

and all I'm trying to do
is point out what's plain
as the nose on your face.

That will doesn't prove a thing.
Suppose we call Lt. Columbo?
We'll leave it up to him.

Uh, listen, uh, I can
save yourself the trouble.

Ah, the omnipresent constable.
What are you doing here?

Well, your maid let me in.
She told me you were up here
with Mr. Markham.

I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
How long were you standing there?

Oh, not very long.
I guess I did hear the tail end
of what you were saying.

Well, then I guess you know
what kind of fertilizer
this boy is spreading around.

Well, you know, actually,
uh, Mr. Markham,
he's making pretty good sense.

I mean, he'd almost
make a detective.

That stuff about the will,
that's, uh, well,
that's good police work.

Thank you, Lieutenant.
I thought
you were my friend.

Goldie, I am your friend.

And because I'm your friend,
I'd like to give you some advice.

I think it would do you
a lot of good
if you told the truth.

I am telling the truth.
Are ya?

You see, I just spoke to that nice
Japanese girl that gives you the massages.
Miko.

And we had a little trouble
understanding each other,
but we finally made it.

She told me that she noticed
a bandaged cut on the back
of your leg this morning,

and it wasrt there yesterday.
Pure coincidence.
I cut myself shaving.

I also went down to
the Bureau of Records
and dug up your marriage license.

It turns out that you
and Mr. Williamson have
the same blood type, B-positive.

That's very good, Lieutenant.
Obviously, she took one of
her husband's old hats,

added some blood
from a self-inflicted wound
and left it near the tennis court.

Anything to make it look
as if Beau had been murdered.

What about it, ma'am?
Oh, and another thing,

the lab tells me that the blood
is only 24-hours old.

All right, all right.
I did it. I planted the hat.

I was just trying to get
everybody off the dime.

I guess I'm in trouble, huh?
Falsifying evidence?

There's no real harm done.
Surely she didn't break any law?

Your help I don't need.

Well, like Mr. Markham says,
there was no harm done.

As far as I'm concerned,
I think everybody can forget about it.

Well, and I'll be going.

Oh, Mr. Markham,
may I borrow that will
for an hour or two?

Well, I'm afraid it isn't mine.
It belongs toJennifer.

Why don't I take it back to her?
I'm sure dropping it off
will take you out of your way.

Well, suit yourself.

Now, let me ask you
this question.

Is this the first pile iron you sunk?

Yeah, that's pile D3.
We did that the day of
the dedication.

You were here, remember?
I saw you coming in.

Well, what happens then?
You just dig a hole
and you just plop the stuff in?

[Carl]
We usually dig 'em the day before.
I see.

Then you have this big hole
sitting there all night?

It's not a safety hazard, Lieutenant.
Don't worry about it.

I see, uh-huh.
[Honks]

[Carl]
Hey, it's Mr. Markham.

[Brakes Squeal]

The lieutenant
was looking for you, Mr. Markham.

I'm sure he was.
I see you have our building records.

Yes, sir.
But he wanted to take a look.
Listen, I didn't think you'd mind.

No, of course not.
I wouldn't wanna dampen
your new interest in architecture.

All right, Carl. Thanks.

Lieutenant, anybody ever tell you
you're very much like an arachnid?

A what?
A tick. They're quite common,
but excessively tenacious.

They hang on.
They let go only under
extreme prodding.

Well, I never heard of it.
[Laughs]

- There it is.
- [Columbo] There's what?

Pile D3.
What do you mean?

Why don't you dig it up?
What?

All right. Come on.
You know you want to.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Oh, it's such a marvelous place
to-to hide a body.

Crew comes in, digs a hole.
Hole sits there overnight.

If I were a murderer...
hypothetically speaking, of course...
it'd be made to order.

Just drive up, dump the body.
The next morning, crew comes in,
fills the hole with concrete.

Neat, clean, foolproof.

Well, now, wait a minute.
If you were a murderer...

hypothetically, like you say...
you're not going to
tell this to the police.

Well, why not?
You'd never be able to dig it up.

Besides, how do you know
I'm not a victim of my own bravado?

How much would it cost?
I mean, to actually dig up pile D3?

Just for the sake of curiosity.
Well, a great deal more than
your bank account, Lieutenant.

To say nothing of the permits,
assuming you got permission,
which is doubtful.

Mmm. Probably be a mess,
wouldn't it?

Well, it's a lot of concrete.
Yeah, it sure is.

You really believe that
Beau Williamson
met with foul play, don't you?

That's astonishing.
There's no body, you've no proof.

Aside from Goldie's
pathetic attempt at fraud, no motive.

- Well, actually, there is a motive.
- Oh?

Oh, yes. It's in Mr. Williamsors will.

You see, before I dropped it off
at his wife's house, I stopped by
to see my brother-in-law.

Uh, he's an attorney.
Nothing big, you understand,
but, uh, he's pretty good.

- You've been very busy.
- Well, it's just part of the job.

Anyway, he tells me that
there's a very interesting clause
in that will.

And it says that
if Mr. Williamson dies,

his wife, Jennifer, doesn't gain
control of the estate.

- Is that so?
- Mm.

Yeah, aside from Goldie's 25%,
the entire thing goes into a trust.

And the wife, all she gets
is the income from the interest.

- How nice for her.
- Yeah, it's a lot of money.

But it's a lot less than it takes
to finance your city.

You know, you're proving my point,
Lieutenant. I have no interest
in seeing Beau dead.

- I want the city built.
- Yeah, but if he's dead,
and it can't be proved,

then legally he's considered alive,

which means his wife
can spend the money
without restrictions.

You see, she could go right ahead
and bankroll your city.

- Quite a lawyer, your brother-in-law.
- Yeah, I know. The whole family,
we're kind of proud of'im.

As long as he's giving you
so much free counsel, I hope
there's one other point that he made.

- Uh, what's that?
- Well, a man can be declared
legally dead without a corpus delicti,

but if you really wanna
make a case against someone,
it might help if you found the body.

Yeah, I know.
See, I figure I, uh,

I gotta come up
with something concrete.

Uh...

[Phone Ringing]

[Continues Ringing]

[Keyboard Clacking]
[Phone Ringing, Faint]

Wednesday morning.

Thank you.

I, uh, need some information about...
J-Just a minute, please.

Yes?

I want some information.
How do I go about, uh,

getting permission to dig up
a pile of a building
that's already under construction?

I beg your pardon?

A pile of a building
that's under construction.

I wanna dig it up.

Regular-size pile?
Yeah.

Ten thousand pounds?
I would think so.

Just a minute, please.

Section 346B.
'Foundations."

Do you know how much
a thing like that would cost?

No. How much?

'See 581 D."

Yes, here we are.

Now, what's your connection,
by the way? Contractor? Owner?

No. I'm from the police.
Uh, Lt. Columbo.

Oh, yes.
Well, you'll have to have
a departmental approval...

under regulation 613
of the municipal code.

I see. That's, uh, 613?
Six-one-three.

Now, once you get that,
you file your permits,

your requisition slips
and, uh, if the mayor's office
approves of that,

uh, then you're set.

Been to the Structural Engineering
Department?
What for?

Uh, Lieutenant, you have to show
the exact foundation to be torn out...

so we can make our estimates.

Oh. Where do I do that?
Room 316, down the hall.

All right.
I'll be right back.

Got 'em.
Good.

- Well?
- Lunch hour. Come back at 1:00.

Okay.

How long have you been
digging here?
Since about 8:00 this morning.

And how much
is this going to cost?
I don't know.

Inspector, how much
is all this going to cost?

Morning, Inspector.
Hi, Inspector.

Well, he won't tell you. I'll tell you.
It's gonna cost considerable.

Well, Lieutenant.
You know, you can still stop it
before it's too late.

Well, you know,
I went to so much trouble
to get the permission,

that, uh, I think
I'd better go ahead.
Well, that's up to you.

I hope you realize
how much work you're causing
for a great many people.

Well, it's a lot more
than I expected, I'll give you that.

You, uh, should've
dressed for the occasion.

What?
They're taking your picture.

You're gonna be a celebrity
on the 6:00 news.

All right, come on, fellas.
Gimme a break, huh?

Listen, I, uh...
I wanna apologize for the press.

I didn't realize
they were gonna be here.
I had nothing to do with it.

- Must've been a leak
down in the department.
- No, I invited them.

Hope you don't mind.
I intend to make a statement
when you're finished.

You do? Well, maybe
I'll have a statement of my own.

Well, you're clutching at straws.

Carl, you're keeping a record of
the delay in construction time,
aren't you?

- [Carl] Yes, sir.!
- All right. Fine.

Lieutenant, I want you
to know I admire you.

- Oh, really?
- You've got the courage of
your conviction.

That's an admirable trait...
misdirected as it may be.

Lieutenant, there you are.

You just stay right there,
because I am gonna love you to death.

We could've used you
at the Alamo. You've got guts.

Oh, yeah.
Jennifer called
and told me about this.

Then she pulled the covers
over her head which is her way
of dealing with problems.

But I'm here
to give you support.
Thanks. I appreciate that.

Are you getting
a little nervous, Mr. Markham?
Should I be?

Well, it depends on what's down there.
The usual, Goldie...
bedrock and cement.

Mmm, I wonder.
So does the lieutenant.

But he'll have his curiosity
satisfied soon enough.

Mr. Markham,
can I see you a moment, please?

Don't be intimidated.
I think he's scared.

If this looks all right to you,
can we bring in the crane?

All right, bring her in,
take her up.
What's happening?

We'll have her up
in a half hour.

Another half hour.

Nervous, Lieutenant?
Yeah, a little.

Why not?
You're learning architecture
the hard way.

Take her up.

[Jackhammers Stop]

[Carl]
Okay, fellas, let's forget it, huh?

Nothing here, Mr. Markham.
Not even a button.

[Markham]
Well, Lt. Columbo?

- I guess I was wrong.
- I'd consider that
an accurate statement.

- You have a moment?
I'd like to talk to you.
- Nothing I'd like better.

Mr. Markham, I think
I owe you an apology.

Is that all you have to say?
Not much. Night.

Carl, fill up the excavation.
Sink another hole.

We'll pour the concrete
in the morning.

Lieutenant, you say you owe me
an apology? Well, you owe me
a great deal more than that.

There's not a trace of a body.
Not a bit of clothing.
Not a ring. Nothing.

Now, I'm not a police officer,
but the conclusion seems to be obvious.

You didn't find Beau Williamson
because he isn't here
and he never was.

- Stop gloating.
- What's the matter, Goldie?
You should be delighted.

It means Beau's still alive.
The only one that suffered here
is the lieutenant and me.

- Why you?
- Well, I've been suspected of murder,
my work has been delayed,

my relationship with Beau
and Jennifer's been jeopardized.

Lieutenant, I'm sure you have
a lot of explaining to do
to your superiors.

So, if you'll forgive me,
I'll be off.

Here, put this on.

I'm sorry, lover.
That's okay, Goldie.

No, it's my fault.
I put the bug in your ear.

They gonna suspend you
or something?

I don't know.
I'll buy you a drink.
I'll buy us both a drink.

No, that's okay.
Thank you, Goldie. You go ahead.

I owe you one.
I'll see you later.

[Engine Starts]

[Engine Off]

[Rustling]

♫ [Classical Music On Stereo]

[Loud Bang]

[Tires Screeching]

[Stereo Off

[Police Radio Chatter]

License and registration, please.

That was real nice, sir.
What?

That was a real nice
piece of driving
you did back there.

The way you handled it.
The way you pulled it over.

Oh. Th-Thank you.

Left front.
Could've been hairy.

Yeah, that...
Oh, that could've been.

Well, then, there's no real harm done.
Thank you for stopping.
L-I appreciate that.

Open it up.

- What?
- The trunk.

You might as well get your keys,
and I'll help you out with the spare.

Isn't that ridiculous?
What?

[Laughs]
My spare. No air.

It's useless. I've been meaning
to get it filled, but, well,
you know how that is.

Well, why don't I call a tow truck?
They'll bring out a pump.

Oh, yeah. That's great.
Thanks a lot.
Okay. Good night now.

[Motorcycle Starts Up]

[Drives Away]

[Engine Off]

[Light Clicks On]

Good evening, Mr. Markham.

Beau Williamson?

[Sirens Approaching]

Ahead of me all the way,
werert you?

Well, I kind of had a hunch.

You see, you kept trying to
finesse me into digging up that pile.

And I had to ask myself, ' Why?"

I mean, you're not
a dumb man, Mr. Markham.
You wouldn't lead me right to the body.

- Why'd you dig it up?
- Well, I had to play along, didn't I?

You see, I figured
you had the body somewhere.

But what you really wanted
was a foolproof hiding place.

Now, what's better than
a place that's already been searched?

And at considerable cost
and my embarrassment?

Officer?
No, no. Don't bother.

- You will admit, it's a clever idea.
- Oh, yeah. It was perfect.

Who would look
in the same place twice?

I should've left it
where it was.
Mr. Markham,

I'm curious about that.

Where was it?
It was in the equipment shed
at the stables.

Well, you never can be sure
about those things.

You know, bodies have
a funny way of surfacing.

You know, this was brilliant.
Eventually you would've had
a whole building over the grave.

- Yes, brilliant.
- It was just that music thing
that bothered me.

Carnegie Hall and Nashville.
They don't mix.

[Engine Starts]
[Sighs]
No. No, they don't.

[Engine Starts]