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1
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,677
YOU'LL LIKE THIS,
DICK.
2
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:13,147
THE COMMERCIAL
SAID THE EXTRA
INGREDIENT IS LOVE.
3
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:27,228
NEXT TIME,
TRY MAKING THE EXTRA
INGREDIENT CHEESE.
4
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,362
WHAT'S WITH HARRY?
5
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,564
DON'T BOTHER HIM.
HE'S TRANSMITTING
MY STATUS REPORT.
6
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:31,765
STATUS REPORT?
7
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:34,168
TO THE BIG,
GIANT HEAD?
8
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,069
WHY SHOULD WE
HAVE TO ANSWER
9
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:38,272
TO THAT
PENCIL-PUSHING
DESK JOCKEY?
10
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:39,907
I DON'T CARE
WHAT HE THINKS.
11
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,210
WHAT DID IT SAY
ABOUT ME?
12
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:46,447
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN 3...2...1...
13
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,349
[BURP]
14
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,487
WHAT DID I MISS?
15
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,722
WHAT WAS IN
THAT REPORT?
16
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,424
LOTS OF TIME
AND EFFORT.
17
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:59,627
COME ON,
READ IT BACK.
18
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,362
"DEAR BIG, GIANT HEAD,
19
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,498
"HOW ARE YOU?
WE'RE FINE."
YADDA-YADDA-YADDA...
20
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,500
"THE MISSION
IS TAKING LONGER
THAN ANTICIPATED.
21
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,469
"THE BEING
DESIGNATED SALLY
22
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,038
"HAS BRAVELY INFILTRATED
THE FEMALE GENDER.
23
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,641
"THE HARRY UNIT
IS FUNCTIONING
ADEQUATELY.
24
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,476
"THE COMMANDER
HAS SQUANDERED SIX MONTHS
25
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,545
PURSUING A SINGLE
EARTH WOMAN."
26
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,148
WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT WAS THAT?
27
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,050
I AM FUNCTIONING
ADEQUATELY.
28
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,454
FUTILE PURSUIT
OF DR. ALBRIGHT?
29
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,821
HOW COULD YOU
WRITE THIS?
30
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,056
I'M THE INFORMATION
OFFICER.
31
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,024
I'M SWORN TO TRUTH.
32
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:31,925
THE TRUTH IS,
33
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,827
THROUGH MARY,
I'VE EXPLORED
EVERY FACET
34
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,929
OF THE MALE-FEMALE
DYNAMIC.
35
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,299
HAVE YOU ESTABLISHED A
MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
WITH HER?
36
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,066
NO.
37
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,834
HAVE YOU BONDED
EMOTIONALLY?
NO.
38
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,470
HAVE YOU HAD
ONE SUCCESSFUL DATE?
39
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,706
IF BY SUCCESSFUL
YOU MEAN PLEASANT...
40
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,508
NO.
41
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:49,677
DON'T SWEAT IT, DICK.
42
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,380
THE BIG, GIANT HEAD
NEVER READS THESE THINGS.
43
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,382
PERHAPS I HAVE
BEEN REMISS,
44
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,016
BUT BY WEEK'S END,
45
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,986
I'LL HAVE ESTABLISHED
AN EMOTIONAL BEACHHEAD
WITH DR. ALBRIGHT.
46
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,689
THIS I VOW!
47
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,392
YEAH, AND HARRY'S GOING
TO WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE.
48
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:07,528
WELL, I'M HAPPY
JUST TO BE NOMINATED.
49
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,229
GOOD MORNING.
50
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,396
MORNING, NINA.
51
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:43,897
OH, THOSE ARE NICE.
52
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,133
THEY COST $89.
53
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,167
DON'T TELL HER THAT.
54
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,403
OH. ALL RIGHT.
55
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,170
GOOD MORNING.
56
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,573
THEY COST $89.
57
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,475
OH.
58
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,476
DR. ALBRIGHT,
59
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,377
WOULD YOU
DO ME THE HONOR
60
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:59,213
OF JOINING ME FOR
DINNER TONIGHT?
61
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,981
NO.
62
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:06,887
WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS?
63
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,856
CAN'T YOU SEE
HOW MUCH PAIN
YOU'RE CAUSING?
64
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,024
HE'S NOTHING
IF NOT RESILIENT.
65
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,726
NOT HIM. ME.
66
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,828
YOU TWO
ARE DRIVING ME
UP THE WALL.
67
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,530
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY
ATTRACTED TO HIM.
68
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:20,868
TAKE A CHANCE
ON LOVE, WOMAN.
69
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,403
I DON'T KNOW. I...
70
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,071
LOOK AT HIM.
71
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:32,913
I SUPPOSE IT'S
TIME TO GIVE THE
BIG DOG A BISCUIT.
72
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,015
AND I DO HAVE TO EAT.
73
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,519
O.K. I ACCEPT.
74
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,388
YES!
75
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,093
DICK, I REALLY
NEED TO GET IN THERE.
76
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,095
I NEED TO BE
HANDSOME TONIGHT.
77
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,164
I MEAN SEARS-CATALOG
HANDSOME.
78
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,268
IF HE WANTS TO
GET SOMEWHERE WITH HER,
79
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:55,969
HE SHOULD FOLLOW MY LEAD.
80
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,472
MR. RANDALL AND I HAVE
A DREAMY RELATIONSHIP.
81
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,942
YOU DON'T
EVEN CALL HIM
BY HIS FIRST NAME.
82
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:05,713
THAT'S WHAT
SOPHISTICATED PEOPLE
DO ON THIS PLANET.
83
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,747
I REALIZE
IT'S NOT AS ROMANTIC
84
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:10,384
AS YOU AND AUGUST
SHARING YOUR PUDDING CUP.
85
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:14,021
HEY, HEY. WE WERE JUST VOTED
CUTEST COUPLE SO SHUT UP.
86
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,789
O.K., WHERE'S MY SHOES?
87
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,826
WELL, I THINK
I SAW ONE OF THEM
RIGHT OVER THERE.
88
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,300
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S HARRY!
89
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,536
HIS CRANIAL
MICRO-RECEIVER
IS ACTIVATED.
90
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,038
TRANSMISSION INCOMING
FROM THE BIG, GIANT HEAD.
91
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,741
THANK YOU FOR CALLING
THE BIG, GIANT HEAD.
92
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,410
HE CARES ABOUT YOU.
93
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,413
YOUR STATUS REPORT
WAS RECEIVED.
94
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,714
PLEASE WAIT FOR COMMENTS.
95
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,282
PLEASE, PLEASE,
NO COMMENTS...
96
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,617
NO, NO, NO.
NO COMMENTS...
97
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,185
THERE ARE NO COMMENTS.
98
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:48,989
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN 3...2...1...
99
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,791
AH-CHOO!
100
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,927
I TOLD YOU
HE NEVER READS
THOSE THINGS.
101
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,096
I REALLY RESENT HOW
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO JUMP
102
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,466
WHENEVER HE
SENDS A MESSAGE.
103
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,501
EVERYONE KNOWS
HE ONLY GOT THE JOB
104
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,203
BY KISSING
THE BIG, GIANT BUTT.
105
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:08,809
TODA, TODA, HAI.
106
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:12,646
TODA,
TODA, HAI.
TODA,
TODA, HAI.
107
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,282
OH, THIS IS FUN.
WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
108
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:15,983
HAI.
109
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,485
HAI.
110
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:18,285
OH!
111
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,288
HAI.
HAI.
112
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,659
HAI.
HAI!
113
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:28,328
HAI.
114
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,563
HAI!
115
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:39,172
HEY, HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS
GETTING INTO WHEN
HE TOOK THIS JOB.
116
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,709
AUGUST...
117
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,311
WE SHARE MORE THAN
PUDDING, DON'T WE?
118
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,180
YOU'VE GOT PUDDING?
119
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:50,250
I WAS USING IT
AS A METAPHOR FOR
OUR RELATIONSHIP.
120
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,185
OUR RELATIONSHIP
IS SOFT AND GOOEY?
121
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,954
NO, NO.
122
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,823
NEVER MIND.
NEVER MIND.
123
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,625
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
WALK ME UP.
124
00:05:57,658 --> 00:06:00,060
I DON'T MIND.
HEY, GUYS.
125
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,128
HI, MR. RANDALL.
126
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:05,399
WELL, SIT DOWN.
TAKE OFF YOUR
SHIRT--SHOES.
127
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,102
TOMMY, UM,
128
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,572
I NEED THE PARLOR
TO ENTERTAIN
MR. RANDALL.
129
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:15,175
MR. "HEAVEN" RANDALL.
130
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,043
WE'RE DOING HOMEWORK.
131
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,411
YEAH. MESOPOTAMIA.
132
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,847
OH, THE FERTILE
CRESCENT.
133
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,982
WOULD YOU
LIKE TO SEE IT?
134
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,790
PARDON?
135
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,759
NEVER MIND.
136
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:35,796
I'LL SEE TO THAT COFFEE.
TOMMY, HELP AUNTIE SALLY.
137
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,931
EXCUSE US.
138
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:40,300
I NEED TO BE ALONE
WITH MR. RANDALL.
139
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,802
I THINK
I'M FALLING IN LOVE!
140
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:46,106
OH, YOU JUST WANT
THE LIVING ROOM
SO YOU CAN MAKE OUT!
141
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,074
HOW'S HISTORY
THIS YEAR?
142
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,142
GOOD.
GOOD.
143
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,078
SOO-NA, SOO-NA...
144
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:51,979
HAI!
145
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,915
SOO-NA,
SOO-NA, HAI!
146
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,688
[SSSSS]
147
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,159
OOH!
148
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,975
OH!
149
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,911
AAH!
150
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,827
OOH HAI!
151
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:40,628
OOH...
152
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,630
HAI.
153
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:46,033
[SSSSSS]
154
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,413
THANKS FOR
BAILING ME OUT.
155
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:03,717
YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN.
156
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,085
DR. ALBRIGHT,
157
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,520
YOUR HAND'S
ON MY KNEE.
158
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,487
WANT ME
TO MOVE IT?
159
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,989
PLEASE.
160
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,693
NO. I MEANT
MOVE IT AROUND.
161
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,063
WELL, AUGUST
SURE LEFT EARLY.
162
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,599
WELL, YOU DUMPED
COFFEE ON HER.
163
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,734
SHE CRITICIZED
MY JELL-O WITH CHEESE.
164
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,803
WHAT KIND OF
WOMAN ARE YOU?
165
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,739
LET'S NOT SQUABBLE.
WE'RE FAMILY.
166
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,508
SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT.
167
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,510
COME ON, LET'S PLAY
A GAME, SHALL WE?
168
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,411
WHAT'LL IT BE?
169
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,112
BITE ME.
170
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,582
ALL RIGHT. WHO'S IT?
171
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,417
O.K., FINE, YOU KNOW?
172
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:41,521
YOU TRY TO HELP,
AND THIS IS THE THANKS--
173
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,924
TRANSMISSION INCOMING
FROM THE BIG, GIANT HEAD.
174
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:44,892
AGAIN?
175
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,927
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR STATUS REPORT.
176
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,030
I JUDGE YOUR MISSION
TO BE A COMPLETE FAILURE.
177
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,766
REPLACEMENTS ARRIVE
IN 24 HOURS.
178
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,403
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN 3...2...1...
179
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,405
KKGGHH...
180
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,578
WHAT DID I MISS?
181
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:05,946
THEY'RE ABORTING
THE MISSION.
182
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,615
REPLACEMENTS ARRIVE
TOMORROW.
183
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,983
THEY'RE SENDING
US HOME.
184
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,319
OHH...
OHH...
185
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:16,189
OHHH...
186
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:21,461
UHHHHH...
187
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,097
OH, DR. ALBRIGHT,
188
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:29,102
THAT WAS THE GREATEST
30 SECONDS OF MY LIFE.
189
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:38,045
AH, SMELL
THE SPRING AIR.
190
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,113
WHAT SAY WE HAVE
CLASS OUTSIDE?
191
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,349
THE WORLD IS SUCH
A PERFECT PLACE.
192
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,984
WHAT ARE WE DOING
INDOORS?
193
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,485
DR. SOLOMON...
194
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,420
WHAT IS IT, DARLING?
195
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:52,926
I THINK WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING
OUR FINAL EXAM.
196
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,630
I'M SHOOTING FOR A "D,"
SO I'LL NEED THE FULL HOUR.
197
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,166
FINAL EXAM...
198
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,001
TODAY?
199
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,836
HAA...
200
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,873
I FORGOT.
ISN'T THAT A HOOT?
201
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:09,276
YOU SEE, I DIDN'T
MAKE IT HOME LAST NIGHT.
202
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,210
I COULD HAVE,
203
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,946
BUT I WAS AWFULLY
COMFORTABLE WHERE I WAS
204
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:18,018
IN A PLACE THAT'S
DEFINITELY NOT HOME.
205
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:18,919
DR. SOLOMON,
206
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,621
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
207
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,290
I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
IT'S TOO PERSONAL.
208
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,225
LET'S JUST SAY...
209
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,728
I HAD SEX
WITH DR. ALBRIGHT.
210
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,832
DR. SOLOMON,
211
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,300
WE DON'T NEED TO
KNOW ABOUT THIS.
212
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,935
THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG, BUCK.
213
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,705
YOU MIGHT LEARN
SOMETHING.
214
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:42,876
LAST NIGHT AT 11:22
EASTERN STANDARD TIME
215
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:47,514
MY SPIRITUAL SELF, X,
AND MY CORPOREAL SELF, Y,
216
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,516
WERE FUSED TOGETHER...
217
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,020
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
218
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,226
BUT LET'S MOVE ON...
219
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,928
DICK, I NEED TO
TALK TO YOU.
220
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,195
I HAVE BIG NEWS.
221
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,897
WELL I HAVE
BIG NEWS TOO.
222
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:06,066
CAN WE STEP OUTSIDE
FOR A MINUTE?
223
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,968
O.K. CLASS, WHILE I'M GONE,
224
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:12,572
PONDER BEING NAKED
UNDER COOL, COOL SHEETS.
225
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,644
WE'RE LEAVING?
226
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,147
NO-O-O-O-O!
227
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,655
JUST ANSWER
MY QUESTION.
228
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,758
ALL RIGHT.
HYPOTHETICALLY
SPEAKING,
229
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,059
IF YOU SUDDENLY
DISAPPEARED
230
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,461
I'D EXPERIENCE
SEPARATION ANXIETY,
231
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,964
AND I'D PROBABLY
HARBOR SOME
RESENTMENT.
232
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:40,801
BUT YOU'D KNOW THAT
I'D ALWAYS CARE
ABOUT YOU, RIGHT?
233
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,635
WAIT. ARE YOU
DUMPING ME?
234
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,471
NO. NO!
235
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,439
IT'S THAT CHEERLEADER,
CHERYL, ISN'T IT?
236
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,108
I'LL CLUE YOU IN, PAL.
237
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,010
IT'S ALL PADDING.
238
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,147
YOU--YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND--
239
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,016
IT IS?
240
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,518
CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
241
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,820
SURE.
242
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,656
IF I COULD
NEVER MAKE COFFEE
FOR YOU AGAIN--
243
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,958
NOT THAT THAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN.
244
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:08,762
I'M HERE WITH MY POT
READY TO POUR.
245
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,798
WOULD YOU MISS ME?
246
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,466
WHY ARE YOU
ASKING ME THIS?
247
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,035
I DON'T KNOW.
248
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,237
CALL IT...
249
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,639
GIRLISH INSECURITY.
250
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,841
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?
251
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:21,875
AWFUL.
252
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:23,176
LIKE SOMEBODY
RIPPED YOUR HEART OUT
253
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,746
AND THEN SHOWED IT TO YOU?
254
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,849
WELL,
NOT SHOWED IT TO ME.
255
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,921
SO WITHOUT ME
YOU'D BE
A MISERABLE WRECK
256
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,523
FOR A WEEK,
A MONTH, THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE?
257
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,926
THE REST OF MY LIFE.
258
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,861
OHH...
259
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,830
MR. RANDALL...
260
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:48,135
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW HAPPY
YOU'VE MADE ME.
261
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,170
[MUFFLED]
THANK YOU.
262
00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:00,013
I THOUGHT YOU
AND DR. SOLOMON
HAD A DATE TONIGHT.
263
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,781
WE DID.
264
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:02,782
HE STOOD YOU UP?
265
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,618
OH, NO, NO.
I TALKED TO HIM.
266
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,254
HE SAID HE GOT
AN UPSETTING PHONE CALL
267
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,990
FROM A FRIEND
WITH A BIG HEAD.
268
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:13,460
HE DIDN'T THINK HE'D
BE MUCH FUN TONIGHT.
269
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,196
WELL, MY ALL-TIME
FAVORITE EXCUSE WAS,
270
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,065
"I HAVE
A TERMINAL ILLNESS."
271
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:20,767
YOU HAD THAT
PULLED ON YOU?
272
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,835
YES.
273
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:24,537
BUT IN ALL FAIRNESS,
THE GUY DIED.
274
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:27,440
YOU GOING TO
BE O.K.?
275
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,676
I AM AT THE
STAGE IN MY LIFE
276
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:33,513
WHERE I REFUSE TO LET
A MAN'S CHILDISH BEHAVIOR
277
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,348
STEER ME OFF COURSE.
278
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,516
I'M TAKING
THE HIGH ROAD.
279
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,885
WELL, IF I WERE YOU,
280
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:41,254
I'D GO NAIL
HIS SORRY ASS
TO THE WALL.
281
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:43,857
THAT IS THE HIGH ROAD.
282
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,796
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE BEING CALLED BACK.
283
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:50,864
I DON'T WANT TO GO.
284
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:53,333
I'M SO UPSET.
WHAT TO PACK?
285
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:57,204
CAN I TAKE
THESE OPEN-TOED
METALLIC SANDALS?
286
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:01,474
ONCE WE'RE OUT OF HERE,
WE WON'T EVEN HAVE FEET.
287
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,077
BUT THEY LOOK LIKE PUMPS
AND FEEL LIKE SNEAKERS.
288
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,678
GET YOURSELF TOGETHER.
289
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,280
OHH...
290
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,749
I'VE GROWN ATTACHED
TO CERTAIN THINGS
ON THIS PLANET, TOO.
291
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:13,620
I'LL MISS THE SUNSETS,
THE CHANGE OF SEASONS,
292
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:16,356
THE WAY MY STUDENTS
AVERT THEIR EYES
293
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:19,492
WHEN I PASS THEM
IN THE HALLS...
294
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,694
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'LL MISS THE MOST?
295
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,363
ALL OF YOU.
296
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,765
WE'LL STILL BE TOGETHER.
WE'RE STILL A UNIT.
297
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,501
BUT WE WON'T BE
A FAMILY ANYMORE.
298
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,136
OH, LIEUTENANT...
299
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:32,005
OH, SIR...
300
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,942
I PROMISED MYSELF
I WASN'T GOING TO
DO THIS.
301
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,977
HARRY, BE BRAVE.
302
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,879
THIS IS NO TIME
FOR WEAKNESS.
303
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,015
WE MUST BE STRONG!
304
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,116
DICK.
305
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,351
MARY.
306
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,585
DICK...
307
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,253
MARY.
308
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,787
DICK.
HARRY.
309
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,223
WHAT?
310
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,792
I'D LIKE A FEW WORDS
WITH YOU IN PRIVATE.
311
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,928
MARY, WE HAVE
NO SECRETS
312
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,463
WHATEVER
WE HAVE TO SAY,
313
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,331
WE CAN SAY
BEFORE EVERYONE.
314
00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,732
LAST NIGHT WHEN
WE WERE HAVING...
315
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:03,736
LET'S GO OUT
ON THE ROOF.
316
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,974
I'M GOING TO GET
MY RECORD COLLECTION
FOR THE TRIP BACK.
317
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,243
YOU KNOW--
TUNES FOR THE ROAD.
318
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:13,813
GREAT. 14 LIGHT-YEARS
OF GLEN CAMPBELL.
319
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,383
I HAVE SOMETHING
TO SAY TO YOU.
320
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,385
SO DO I.
SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
321
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,121
BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO START.
322
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,922
LET ME TRY
FOR YOU.
323
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,592
LAST NIGHT MEANT
THE WORLD TO YOU,
324
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:30,097
BUT YOU HAVE TO
PUSH ME AWAY SO
YOU DON'T HURT ME.
325
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:33,133
PLEASE, BELIEVE YOU.
PLEASE, BELIEVE YOU.
326
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,834
THAT'S IT EXACTLY.
327
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,104
YOU UNDERSTAND
MY EVERY THOUGHT.
328
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,506
I UNDERSTAND
YOU'VE HAD THE MILK...
329
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,041
WHY BUY THE COW?
330
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,642
NO, MARY.
331
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,710
I WANT YOU.
332
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,246
I WANT THE COW.
333
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,750
FOR WHAT,
A ONE-NIGHT STAND
IN THE BARN?
334
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,986
I WON'T BE
TREATED THIS WAY.
335
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,054
YOU HURT ME.
336
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,255
HOW?
337
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,125
YOU KNOW WHY
WE ENDED UP
AT MY PLACE?
338
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:02,229
NOT BECAUSE
I WAS LONELY OR
HAD TOO MUCH SAKE.
339
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,431
WE ENDED UP THERE
BECAUSE...
340
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,633
I CARE FOR YOU.
341
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,602
OH, MARY...
342
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,606
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO
WAIT UNTIL NOW
TO TELL ME?
343
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,209
WHAT'S WRONG WITH NOW?
344
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,746
I WISH I HAD A MACHINE
THAT COULD FREEZE TIME.
345
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:23,250
UNFORTUNATELY, I LEFT IT
IN MY OTHER JACKET.
346
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,754
DICK?
347
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,156
OH, DICK,
COME IN HERE.
348
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,059
I'VE GOT WONDERFUL
NEWS FROM HOME.
349
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,526
YOU--
350
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,428
WAIT RIGHT HERE.
351
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,330
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
352
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:41,734
MMOOOO.
353
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,805
O.K., DICK'S HERE.
WHAT IS IT?
354
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,740
THERE WAS A MISTAKE
IN THE MESSAGE.
355
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,142
COME ON! TELL ME!
356
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,810
DICK, YOU'RE THE
ONLY ONE GOING.
357
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,944
WE'RE STAYING.
358
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,813
YEAH!
YEAH!
359
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,984
AWW...
OHH...
360
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,120
HOW DID YOU GET
YOUR INFORMATION?
361
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:03,156
I WAS DOWN IN THE
BASEMENT GETTING MY
RECORD COLLECTION
362
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,158
AND I BUMPED INTO
YOUR REPLACEMENT.
363
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,793
MY REPLACEMENT?
364
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:07,927
HE'S IN
THE BASEMENT.
365
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,498
HE WANTS TO TALK
TO YOU, DICK--NOW.
366
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,340
HELLO?
367
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,577
HELLO?
368
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,815
WHERE ARE YOU?
369
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,785
YOU!
370
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,689
YOU'RE GORGEOUS!
371
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,392
THANK YOU.
372
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,995
THIS BODY SHOULD
SUIT ME NICELY.
373
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:46,166
THE BIG, GIANT HEAD
IS VERY UNHAPPY...
374
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,501
COMMANDER.
375
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,670
I'VE BEEN SENT HERE
TO REPLACE YOU
376
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,839
AND COMPLETE THE MISSION
377
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:56,042
WITH RUTHLESS
EFFICIENCY.
378
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:04,351
NOW I'M AFRAID
IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO ASSUME COMMAND.
379
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,721
YOU THINK YOU CAN
JUST TAKE OVER?
380
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,290
YOU HAVE NO IDEA!
381
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:13,160
THE PEOPLE HERE
ARE SO COMPLEX.
382
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,495
THEY HAVE
ALL THESE FEELINGS
AND IMPULSES,
383
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,697
DREAMS AND FEARS...
384
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,199
EVERY TIME
YOU'VE MASTERED ONE,
385
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:22,302
ANOTHER ONE
CATCHES YOU
BY SURPRISE.
386
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,671
TONIGHT I FINALLY
MADE A BREAKTHROUGH.
387
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,907
ONE OF THESE PEOPLE
CARES ABOUT ME.
388
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,310
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME
LEAVE NOW!
389
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,844
OH, YES, I CAN.
390
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,981
WHAT ABOUT...
391
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,249
MARY?
392
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,385
I'LL TAKE CARE
OF HER...
393
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,486
GOOD.
394
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:40,687
NO.
395
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,189
I WON'T ALLOW IT!
396
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,391
I LOVE HER.
I'M NOT LEAVING HER!
397
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,593
HOW TOUCHING.
398
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:50,096
YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE ACTUALLY
CHANGED MY MIND.
399
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,965
I THINK I WILL
LET YOU STAY HERE.
400
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,101
RIGHT HERE...
401
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,305
FOREVER.
402
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,806
HEH HEH HEH HEH...
403
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,041
HA HA HA HA HA...
404
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,745
NO.
405
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:06,613
YOU'RE NOT--
406
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,648
[THUNK]
407
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,022
OH, MY GOD!
408
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:19,025
HE'S TURNED ME
INTO A MIME!
409
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:24,096
YOU KNOW, IF YOU PLAY
WICHITA LINEMAN BACKWARDS,
410
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,666
YOU GET OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM.
411
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,739
HEH HEH HEH HEH...
412
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,474
WHAT'S SO FUNNY,
DICK?
413
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,476
I AM NOT...
414
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,278
DICK.
415
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,212
[GASP]
416
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,481
I'M YOUR NEW
HIGH COMMANDER.
417
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:45,252
FROM THIS POINT FORWARD,
YOU WILL REFER TO ME
AS SUCH.
418
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,886
O.K....
419
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,155
SUCH.
420
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,796
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH DICK?
421
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:00,700
THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW
AND YOU TO FIND OUT.
422
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,770
THERE'S GOING TO BE
A LOT OF CHANGES
AROUND HERE.
423
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:06,373
FOR INSTANCE,
FROM NOW ON,
424
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,308
THIS...
425
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,677
GOES HERE.
426
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:21,288
AND THAT'S JUST
THE FIRST OF MANY...
427
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,756
CHANGES.
428
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,160
WOW.
429
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,897
WHAT A BLACK HOLE.
430
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,803
MARY...
431
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:37,704
IS EVERYTHING
ALL RIGHT?
432
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,739
EVERYTHING'S PERFECT.
433
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:43,943
FOR THE LAST
SIX MONTHS I'VE BEEN
A BUMBLING FOOL.
434
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,013
AS OF RIGHT NOW,
THAT'S OVER.
435
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,849
I ONLY CARE
ABOUT ONE THING NOW,
436
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,184
AND THAT'S PLEASURE.
437
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,686
YOURS...
438
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,055
AND MINE.
439
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,223
OH, PLEASE.
440
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,891
THAT'S GOOD.
441
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:02,429
I LIKE IT
WHEN THEY BEG.
442
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,096
HOW DARE YOU!
443
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,433
SHH.
444
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,701
LET DADDY DRIVE.
29058
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