Original subtitles

This programme contains very strong language,

scenes of a sexual nature

and scenes which some viewers may find disturbing.

All right. You ready for your first stick?

Yep.

One, two, three, stick.

MOANING ON VIDEO

I actually think it's harder for a man to reach the ideal

than it is for a woman.

Protectiveness.

She wants to feel like you care about her wellbeing

and can protect her if she's in danger...

For extreme hair growth.

I haven't lost my temper in 40 years. But, pilgrim, you...

I am getting the feeling of coming in the gym,

I'm getting the feeling of coming at home.

I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up.

Did you know that men over 40 can build muscle just as...

...third youngest world champion in the history of the sport.

Hard times create hard men.

Hard men create soft times.

Soft times create soft men.

Soft men create hard times.

You're a 19-year-old American man.

A lot of things are, factually speaking, stacked against you.

Let's go to the bathroom and climax into that thin toilet paper.

Here's a couple of tips to be more masculine.

Join some kind of martial arts, some kind of physical combat...

What do you think is the average penis length?

Men feel that bigger is better.

So the question is, what's available today?

No kisses for Daddy?

Kisses for Daddy.

Mmmm!

Oh, yes.

I was not a very attractive kid growing up.

When I finished high school,

I was 6'3" and I weighed 132 pounds.

I did have a difficult time.

Kids made fun of me, guys especially.

I didn't play any sports.

I was in the marching band.

I can see how a man could fixate on the size of his penis

for his unhappiness.

I want to be able to help those men.

BILL BREATHES HEAVILY

We are 20 years into the cosmetic revolution.

BILL LAUGHS

All right, I made it.

MACHINE BEEPS

My nipples are going to be hard.

I opened my very first anti-aging aesthetic clinic

in 2003 here in Dallas.

Hey, doc, how's it going?

- Pretty good. It's good to see you. - Good to see you, too, man.

My med spa always had the latest and greatest technology.

Clinician Bill Moore at Advanced Skin Fitness was the first

in Dallas to use PRP for hair replacement.

They use a fractional laser called Pixel.

It makes microscopic holes in your skin,

forcing it to repair itself with fresh cells.

We have a niacin body wrap that we do.

This electromagnetic bed that makes your red blood cells separate.

We can do bra fat, back fat,

abdominal fat, pretty much anywhere on the body.

- We can even do knees now. - Knees!

So I've always been on the forefront.

The most fulfilment that I get out of my life

is when I make someone happy,

when I change someone else's life.

And there's nothing that I've done in the aesthetics field

that has given me so much personal satisfaction

as penile growth enhancement.

Men who have small penises oftentimes have clinical issues

like depression or low self-esteem.

Sometimes they even have mental performance anxiety.

And so we really have such a therapeutic effect on men

after they've had the PhalloFILL procedure.

There definitely is something to the BDE - the big dick energy.

So today we're making you thicker. Is that right?

- Yes. - OK.

Changing in the locker room, things like that,

I feel... I feel more normal.

I have men that tell me that their careers were stagnant,

and then all of a sudden...

Their dating life changed.

They've started new companies since they got PhalloFILL.

They've gotten promotions.

It builds confidence.

You don't have to dread that experience with the woman.

It's not fun.

For me, I would rather work on my penis than my biceps.

It's been the best year of my adult life, this past year, honestly.

And this is the biggest reason why.

I'm really glad that PhalloFILL has been able to pave the way

and let people understand

that it's OK to ask, that it's OK to look,

and it's OK to want to have a larger penis.

BILL CLEARS HIS THROAT

I'm just going to get a quick measurement of this.

PhalloFILL is not length. It's just girth.

Yeah, it's almost six inches there.

And there's no way that you could put any type of dermal filler

into the penis and not expect it to move

if you don't have a way to keep it in place.

And so I am really proud to say that I have designed

and developed something that nobody else had ever done before.

The PhalloSleeve.

I can fix this. I can make this look great.

- Right, just roll on that sleeve. - But you got to keep...

You got to keep it extended. If you don't,

you're going to call us

- and it's going to be more right here in the centre. - OK.

My main objective is to keep it extended

so that it can't retract back up inside your, um...

- ...your body basically. - OK.

It's not hard to wear.

I have other law enforcement officers,

- I have two people that I know are border agents that wear it. - OK.

My goodness, this room gets really hot.

OK. Leg straight for me so I can see what the tension is like.

All right. Here's what you're going to do...

Cosmetic procedures, particularly around genitals, have been around

for a really long time.

You know, like, thousands of years.

Men using weights to try and stretch out their penis.

Using snake venom to increase the swelling.

Viagra hit the scene in 1998.

It was a blockbuster for Pfizer,

and it changed the whole field of sexual medicine.

Suddenly, there are tons of dollars being poured into,

what else can we put into helping men get it up?

Ask your doctor...

But they didn't put any energy into women!

We were kind of left on the sidelines.

The sexual wellness industry

is a multibillion dollar industry.

No-one has a really good way to lengthen the penis at this time.

But we do now, with PhalloFILL...

One, two, three, smile.

...have a way to make the penis girthier

by using hyaluronic acid dermal filler injections.

Now, you would think that this technique

would have stayed in the hands of urologists.

But now this is something

that is in the hands of corporate marauders.

Men are eager to improve themselves.

They have a lot of external pressures

from social media, from expectation of partners.

And...

...unfortunately, there are always people out there

that are willing to take advantage of that.

- - If you know your party's extension, please press star.

If you are a provider, a provider's office or a hospital

who is attempting to contact a Urology of Indiana provider,

please press one.

For directions to a Urology of Indiana clinic...

It wouldn't hurt to have it bigger.

It never does.

I thought it's probably not that invasive

to just put a needle in your penis...

...fill it up just like you would your face or your lips.

And if I don't like it,

like, what's the worst that could happen?

So I go online and I find about this Dr Loria in Miami.

I put a little bit over here to make it look like it was a muscle.

- Uh-huh. - OK? I had a guy with a pec tear.

I'm sure you've seen maybe,

his pec looked like there's a hole in his chest.

- Yes, sir. - I put filler there too, to lift it up, you see?

So a lot of neat things you could do with this.

So does that answer your question about the filler?

- Yes, sir. - OK. All right...

He was really personable, charismatic.

If you have questions, you type them in.

You say, "Hey, what's this? What's that? How do you do this?" Whatever.

And you will. You don't even know what to ask yet.

I decided I'm going to go for it.

The office was very sterile.

It was all white.

There were, like, tarps in between the rooms.

We do the procedure.

In Florida, you'll lose electric.

At least twice a year, we lose the whole building.

And I'm doing a procedure.

So what I do is I have a flashlight,

stick it up here, that's all I need.

A little flashlight, I'm done.

I can work in the dark. If the electric goes out,

it doesn't matter. I can work in any circumstance and condition.

Once I left the office,

I felt like I was on my own, almost immediately.

Over a month of wrapping and unwrapping

and cleaning and pain.

So I was like, "OK, I'm going to go back.

"But before I do, I'm going to do more research."

A lot of men had the same problems I did.

Instead of being even throughout,

the filler migrated into clumps.

So some people, they would have nodules

and little clumps all over their penis.

Something that's going to be there forever.

Fucked up.

I eventually decided to seek out some other doctor...

...and maybe do something

that's going to make it feel and look better.

So that's when I actually reached out

and I found out about PhalloFILL.

If I ever lose my dexterity in my hands,

I'm going to be on the street begging for food and water.

Well, you look great. I mean, this is perfectly symmetrical.

I mean, we could not ask for anything to be better than this.

I mean, this is picture perfect.

I wish I could use you for training every time I had a provider come in.

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't mind.

One, two, three, stick.

How old are your children?

- RUBEN GROANS GENTLY - Er...

Three, two and one.

Or four, two and one right now.

They just had a birthday.

My other two kids are older.

Oh, you got older kids?

- Uh, yeah, a little bit. 14 and seven. - OK.

You were wearing a size seven last time.

I'm going to take you up to a size eight.

Just so you know, size ten is my largest sleeve.

So you're getting... you're getting up there.

Whew!

I never really had an issue with size.

I think that mostly came after I started getting older.

Having kids, gaining more weight.

Always a fight with you!

I heard it on a podcast that I like to listen to

called Your Mom's House with Tom Segura and Christina Pazsitzky.

I say close your eyes, close your eyes, feel that.

- Can I feel one too? - You can.

- Yeah, yeah, she's... - I'd like to feel one.

- Feel that. - Yeah, it's lovely.

With the injections, the way he described it was just like,

pretty much like lip injections.

We're both tired from watching the kids,

after I work my 12-hour shifts at my job.

We don't always have the energy to have sex even if we wanted to.

But with this, we can still do our little thing.

Uh... I argued that he shouldn't do it.

- Should or should not? - Should not.

I was perfectly happy with his member as it was.

He wanted to have fun with it.

He's... he's, uh... What are you, a thrill chaser?

So he was looking for the next thing, I guess.

I don't know, I've always liked Ruben as he was, so...

And I don't like change very often.

He's the one who likes change.

So it was a change he wanted to do,

and I just followed along with it.

I think she likes it.

You know, in the bedroom, it shows she likes it.

She just doesn't like to admit it.

Yeah. She doesn't like to tell people.

Any time anybody... Even I've asked her, like, do you like it now?

She's like, she still won't tell me.

I've been there three times so far and it's four shots each time.

It was pretty expensive.

The average patient pays between

$2,500 to $4,000 per procedure.

They're ready to drop $15,000, $20,000 on the spot

because they're so unhappy with their manhood.

We're trying to make ends meet financially,

especially now that she just quit her job and...

...and she doesn't know if she's going to go back to work.

I'm going to pick up a different job, make more money.

- - These toxic men have prevented you

from being murdered in war

and protected the country,

all the different things...

Because people were tired of someone talking in this bullshit,

pre-prepared politician lingo.

PODCAST PLAYS, CHILDREN BABBLE

- Thank you. - No smoke around the kids.

- No smoking around the kids. - I'm not around the kids.

CHILDREN BABBLING

My cousin told me about that place he works at, you know.

He told me it's good pay, decent hours.

He told me it's really hard to get fired from there.

So they don't care how much, um...

You'll beat off in the bathrooms again.

- No, I'm not going to do that. - Yeah, you are.

- Don't tell people that! - That's what you did before.

Then you won't have a job.

So you were correct -

God did not gift you with the largest penis.

No, probably one of the smallest.

It is ridiculous how much it's meant to be

a sign of strength, of being able to be a good...

I mean, there's even allusions or, you know, allegations of, like,

"Oh, a terrorist must have a small dick."

Like, what the heck are you talking about?

It just blows me away, how many...

And it's common. You don't notice it because you're normal.

If you're not, you hear it all over the place.

"Oh, he's probably got a, dah-dah-dah..."

Because he killed somebody or he did this and it's like,

what are we talking about, people?

Give me a break. Could you imagine if I said a woman with small breasts

is somehow more prone to violence, more prone to crime,

more prone to horrible things in life that are...

...you know, that most of us would never even consider.

It's ridiculous. And it's really offensive.

And there's nothing you're going to do about it

because, hello, you're a guy,

you're going to just take it.

People are going to say stuff. Doesn't...

You just have to just proceed with life.

Don't worry about it.

It is embarrassing.

It's embarrassing to say that you felt

that you had a small dick in the first place.

Then it's embarrassing to say that

you went and got dick filler somewhere.

And then it's even more embarrassing to say that it got botched.

David had so many large lumps and nodules in his penis.

If you touched it, it was just...

It felt like you were touching a cylinder of rocks.

It didn't feel like a penis at all.

It was very lumpy, and the lumps were very hard.

They're not even squishy lumps.

They're very hard lumps, like rocks.

And it looked somewhat like

the penis of an alien, to be honest.

This particular doctor is known

for injecting permanent silicone dermal filler.

This permanent filler injection technique

results in a permanent girth enlargement.

It's not temporary, which is very good and very economical.

If you see permanent filler anywhere,

you run as fast as you possibly can.

Liquid silicone is poison.

Our procedure is nothing like

the other procedures that are available.

Hyaluronic acid filler is by far the safest filler to use.

The only filler that we have an antidote

that I can inject to dissolve if something happens.

But that property also makes it not lasting,

so I need to come back once a year.

When I went to Bill for PhalloFILL, he was very receptive.

We were in constant communication about any concerns that I had.

Permanent fillers can't be reversed and they can't be corrected.

If something happens and it migrates,

you have a permanent migration

which is going to require surgery to fix it.

With his own contacts, Bill was able to guide me in the right direction.

Bill started to fix me,

and now he's going to see it fully.

I've decided to fly to Indianapolis

to get reconstructive surgery

and hopefully get my penis fixed.

- Thanks for coming out. - Yeah. What you got going on tonight?

- It's a... - What's that about?

Um, I'm in a documentary.

- About what? - Uh...

The basis of it is penis enlargement.

- Are you having a penis enlargement surgery? - Yeah.

It's not a surgery, but, yeah, it's a procedure.

But it's also... But it's mostly about mental health.

Men's mental health.

How getting a penis enlargement is going to help your mental health?

- Uh, how, like... - Having a small dick makes...

No, how, how, uh...

...how to normalise it.

And, like, how men get,

uh, ostracised for... for doing certain things to themselves.

- Right, right. - Yeah.

Yeah.

Give it up for Rudy Ramzy.

- Rudy! - Let's go, Rudy!

SCATTERED APPLAUSE

What's up?

Hope we're doing good tonight.

Look, I'm just saying,

like, if it wasn't the molestation part,

I don't think kidnapping would be that bad.

Like, somebody like taking your kid and...

...you know, they say they're going to raise them,

feed them, you can come see them whenever you want.

It's almost like a forever camp-ish. You know?

My kids, they're all crying.

I'm like, look, tears make personality.

At least it did with me.

Um...

Comedy is my therapy.

Being able to open up and make jokes about how I'm feeling.

- Love you. - I was born in Harlingen, Texas.

It's south, by the border.

When I was six, I moved up to Iowa.

Right from the start, I felt a little different

because I was a Mexican around white and black people.

Even in elementary,

I remember being bullied for being Mexican.

They were calling me names I didn't understand.

- - We will forge a society that is colour-blind and merit-based.

Superpower!

It was weird trying to find friends that I can get along with.

When I was in fourth grade, I was hanging out with a friend of mine.

He had a drum set that was his older brother's.

So he said, if I wanted to play with it.

And I said, sure, you know, I love drum sets. It's pretty cool.

And I started playing on his drums.

And then he told me like,

"Whoa, you messed with my brother's drum set.

"If you don't, you know, if you don't give me head,

"I'm going to tell my older brother to kick your ass."

I never told anybody about it,

nobody in my family, for...

...almost 30 years.

One, two, three, stick.

It should be right in that top drawer.

Take a second. Oh, you got it. Perfect.

So we have the penis, and we're starting distally, hydrodissecting,

- hydrodissecting towards the base of the penis. - Yes, yes.

Would you want or would you consider starting at the base

and working towards the distal aspect?

When we launched the procedure,

I really just thought that it was going to be me

and maybe a handful of providers that may come on board

that may want to introduce PhalloFILL into their practice.

It's about a 20-minute procedure in office.

- Mine is like this. - Yeah.

So if yours is like this, then I can make it three more sizes over.

OK. That's fine. I think I want to be like this.

And this will take you to our website. Yes, you can scan this

and it will take you to our website for sure.

Yes. Take care. Bye-bye.

At the sexual medicine conference in November,

there was just a line of these top urologists in North America,

and actually even from Saudi Arabia and Dubai,

that were pawing to get to me at the... at our booth.

I went to the PhalloFILL clinic,

which was in a strip mall at the time.

- And I remember looking around like... - It still is.

It still is, fantastic. I remember, like,

what am I getting into here?

Over the next few minutes,

we are going to get into the details about this procedure.

Honestly, I begged and pleaded

for them to train me and they eventually did.

And so now it is the most

common procedure that I do in my clinic.

So good to see you.

Are we going to be doing a podcast together soon? I think we are.

When men are coming to see me, they're coming to

gain some confidence.

It's almost like going to the barbershop.

This is a growing... I say, I call it the New Frontier.

So now PhalloFILL is in so many locations across the country -

New Jersey, Philadelphia,

Boston, Connecticut, DC,

Baltimore area,

North Carolina, two places in Georgia,

three locations in Florida.

I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in June 2023.

And I just wanted to...

...make the most of the time I had,

doing whatever I wanted to do

without really paying attention to social norms,

or being...

Like, you lose embarrassment when you are told

you have six months to live.

So you kind of just do what you want to do.

And the last 20 months have probably been

the happiest 20 months of my life

because I've just been living really authentically.

Bill grew really invested

in my own journey of fixing what Dr Loria did.

So it went from a relationship of patient and provider...

...to friends...

I was learning more about him,

and it turned out that he had a very similar upbringing to me,

like, in a religious household,

conservative parents.

I grew up in the evangelical church,

with my parents telling me how homosexuality is a sin.

My mom loves me so much that she doesn't want me to be gay,

because she knows I'll go to hell.

She really doesn't know anything about my current life

except the very, very surface level.

It's kind of sad.

Now, as a friend, Bill wants me to be happy.

He wants me to be confident.

I can do that.

Do you want me to?

Tell your mom she needs to have a breast lift.

I don't know how she's going to take that one.

I don't even know what her breasts look like. I'm just kidding.

She's going to be like, "Uh, excuse me?"

I had never kissed anybody

all the way until I got to college.

I was now living in a different city,

far away from my family.

And the first time I kissed somebody

was the first time that I had sex with somebody.

It was like jumping off the deep end.

I was just a broke college student.

I mean, that's scary to just jump off like that.

Do something, you know, obviously...

...pretty intimate.

But I thought...

...you know, I can make some money.

I wasn't expecting it to be a lot of money,

but it was going to be more money than I had.

I found a lot of success really fast

and I kind of blew up out of nowhere.

And I became a pretty popular name in the industry.

Within two months, I had reached over 200,000 followers.

Within five months,

I was already over half a million.

I got to make a pretty penny really quick.

Once it started, I couldn't stop it.

It's out there.

I had all this recognition.

- So, I have to ask you, are you movie stars? - Yeah. - He is.

He's been in some commercials.

I've been in commercials, but I'm not...

- He has that smile. Like... - He has a beautiful smile.

Thank you.

All of my thirst traps, I was smiling.

You know, I never smoulder because I naturally am a big smiler.

So I decided to go full out

and I was doing collaborations

and doing full scenes

with other content creators.

One, two, three, open.

- Open. Open. - That's hard.

I can't... Oh, my God, my eyes...

The sex wasn't what I got out of it.

I think, in my mind, it was always like paying off my student loans.

It's the money.

We'll take you back to stay in the new safari tents.

You're so nice.

My family's so far away from that world.

They're not looking for gay porn, right?

So in my head, they're never going to see it.

Who's really going to find out?

When I was growing up, I didn't know what my future looked like.

I thought probably a picket fence with a wife and two kids.

Never would I expect to be on a gay island

making penises larger.

LAUGHTER

I knew that I was gay and I thought that I had to hide it.

I was religious.

I prayed every night that I would wake up

and would have a desire to be with women.

I didn't know who I was.

Out of place with my sexuality.

In Alabama, that wasn't an option.

When someone talked about being gay,

the very first thing was imagining me

with a penis in my mouth or something like that.

Not that I will be happily married to a man one day and have a home.

It was just thought about different.

My dad and I were close

and he was always good to me, but...

...we didn't communicate a lot.

Maybe he always suspected something was different about me.

My mom told me that my dad never one time questioned her about it.

And she thought that maybe it might be best

if he didn't have to acknowledge it.

Sometimes things are just...

...better left unspoken.

Do you... do you remember what I do for work?

I really don't.

Um...

So for work, I do sort of aesthetics

where I make people look better

- and I make people feel better. - Oh, that's good.

Do you remember when you used to... you used to be a beautician.

Do you remember that?

- Was that before I moved out here? - Yeah.

- While I was still in Aliceville? - That's what...

You used to be a beautician for a long...

- Many, many, many, many years. - I remember being there.

Well...

Bill, do you have any siblings?

Just me, and my mother has advanced dementia.

- Oh. - So it's just the two of us. - Is she...?

- She's here. - Good.

Yeah. I wish that she had been around to see this happening.

Stick here.

She knew about the girth enhancement.

That was very late...

That was in the early stages of her more severe dementia.

But she was still able to, you know, get dressed and go to dinner

and have conversations and stuff like that.

So she knew about it.

But now she doesn't even remember being married to my father.

- Hey! - Hey! - Ohhhh!

- Hey! - How are you?

Oh, I'm so happy to see you.

- When did I come into the...? - Fourth or fifth grade.

- I think I was in fifth grade, y'all were in fourth grade. - Yeah.

So that's when I came into the mix.

I thought he was just the coolest guy that knew how to do hair

and, um...

...and... and make curtains.

We would do dance routines

- and Bill would be our choreographer... - Choreographer.

And he would also be our...

He was our... he was a...

He was a bitch.

You can't trust girls because they'll be like,

"Oh, you look really pretty in that," when you secretly don't.

But Bill would be like, "Don't wear that. You look fat."

So every time I would come over, you would make me weigh.

So mean. Oh, my gosh.

I remember it was in your bathroom, on the scales,

and Bill would be like, "Let me look."

We don't have good representation of how bodies actually look.

The constant imagery of certain muscle size...

...penis size, body shape -

that is the only thing that people start to see.

We don't walk around showing each other our normal genitals.

So then we kind of end up feeling,

or men end up feeling that their body is not good enough.

It's a very difficult message to be taught...

...over and over and over, multiple times a day.

I asked my therapist and I said,

"How many people or how many men, like, come to you with...

"..like, complaining about specifically about this?"

- Small penis. - He said, "You can't imagine how many." - I'm sure.

People go to porn and they think that they will gain confidence.

I got into the porn industry

where I am always with these gifted...

...men.

You're always just comparing yourself.

And so the opposite, they will become even more insecure.

My nose is crooked. I had to have it fixed.

No, it looks great.

From the... from the film,

at the cameras on this side of me, it points that way.

I didn't know I was supposed to think about the side of my face

- that was... - Cos I see it.

Well, I mean, I'm a psychologist,

so I come at this from like the mental health perspective

where the people that I work with on this are,

you know, coming at it more from an anxiety,

shame, body dysmorphic disorder kind of place

and looking for solutions for that. Right?

And, you know, getting some sort of procedure on

the surface looks like a solution to a mental health problem,

but it's actually not, from my perspective.

Yes, I would love to say that men could be...

...could have therapy and that they could resolve the issues,

their perception of themselves.

But I think that it's not always possible

for them to actually resolve it in every man, through therapy.

I have men that have been married for 25 years -

I can think of one in particular - they've got three children.

This guy tells me that he and his wife

are having better sex than they ever had in their entire life.

He says, every single morning he wakes up

to her trying to climb on top of him.

He says he doesn't always climax, but she does every morning.

And he went from somewhere in this range, erect,

to exactly six and a half or 6.25,

which is right here, which is a pretty good size

for a lot of women that have had children.

I just don't see any reason that I shouldn't let him

have control of his body to make it larger.

Insecurity is big business.

You know, there's money to be made in...

...people who are feeling badly

about themselves or who have shame, you know?

People will do almost anything to feel better about themselves.

And so...

...certainly there's room for people to profit off of that.

All the porn guys do it.

All those porn dicks are fake,

and all the women think that they want big dicks like that,

they're going to find, "Oh, we just have to find a certain guy."

Like, you're not going to find a certain guy like that.

It's all fake. Just like nothing that you see on TV is real any more,

or on the internet is real any more.

One, two, three. Stick.

- Sorry, man. - No, it's all right, it's all right.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Does your girl notice that it's thicker?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She likes it, but she doesn't want to admit it.

- She thinks I'm crazy. - Stick.

This is the fourth treatment. Are we done here after this?

Yeah, sadly. I'm kind of going to miss you.

Although I feel like I could go bigger.

If I could afford it, I'd get two more sessions.

HE GRUNTS Oh, that one stung.

It's an expensive procedure. I mean,

do you ever have patients who maybe should think twice

about making that spend?

No, I am not here to tell people how to spend their money.

I mean, I don't get into the weeds. If patients...

If a patient happens to tell me like,

"Oh, I don't know how I'm going to pay my mortgage,

"but I do... I definitely want this penile filler,"

I mean, no-one has ever said that, but I would probably say,

"Yeah, you probably need to make sure that

"your mortgage is, you know... SHE LAUGHS

"..you're not putting yourself out of a house and home."

FAMILY CHATTER

All right, turn around. Three, two, one.

Bye-bye!

- Bye-bye! - Bye-bye!

PHONE PINGS

You know, we weren't making enough money to afford everything.

- Are you guys excited to move? - Mm-hm. - To go on the trip? - Mm-hm.

- Yeah? - Mm-hm. - To go see your brother? - Mm-hm! - Yeah?

- You going to fight with him? - Yeah. - Yeah?

With the injections,

did I know I was going to be in the situation I am now, financially,

would I still have gotten it?

Probably not.

- Ah, fuck. - You hurt your back already?

HE GROANS

HE SIGHS

We're going to be living with his first baby mama,

so that's going to be interesting.

Yeah, it is.

I have three kids with Lana...

...and I have two kids with my past relationship.

Did you have fun? Did that make you laugh?

I usually have them over the summer,

but this was the first year where I wasn't financially able

to get them over here.

So I was like, "If I can't afford to bring them over here,

"then I will..."

"..just have to move over there."

- Put on the truck? - No, we're not taking this truck.

- Go. - We need it!

No, we don't. We don't need chalk. Let's go.

Let's get that in there. CHILD CRIES

Oh!

Oh, yeah. You got it.

- Ohh. - Yeah, I know, bud.

CRYING CONTINUES

- Shall we go wash it? - Just throw it off.

Just throw it off.

Yeah, the sessions with Dr Bill are over.

Maybe annually or every so often you can go

and have a refill.

I think it's just, like, one session type refill.

If I need to or if I want to keep it up...

I probably will keep it up if it's just one session.

- One session's not that much. - Oh, she's done with it.

- He's done with them, isn't he? - Yeah, I'm done with them.

But, like, there's continuations or, like, what do you call them?

- Refills. Pretty much like yearly refills. - Boosters?

Pretty much that's what it's called, something like that.

You're going to do that?

Maybe once a year, every so often.

It's expensive.

Not for a one-time visit.

SHE CHUCKLES Who knows?

- - The kind of masculine energy, I think,

- is good. - Yeah.

And obviously I think having a culture that, like,

celebrates the aggression.

In this society, male energy, male thinking,

male anything is vilified and you're taught

to think there's something wrong with being masculine.

But being masculine is the reason why we don't speak German.

I had one-foot-itis. Everybody that has a boat

wants a boat that's one foot longer and...

One, two, three, stick.

The boat is never big enough.

I haven't had a girl say, "Oh, my God, I can't take that."

I have some male friends that have dicks that are so big

the girls say they can't take it.

I have had girls tell me they won't take it in the ass.

- But I'm OK with that too. - One, two, three, stick.

Ah!

Me and my boys are going to the WinStar Casino.

- We're going to... - Oh, I love that place.

I was there two weeks ago. I lost, like, 800 bucks.

- RUBEN LAUGHS - We're going to go get drunk and...

CHILDREN FUSS

Put the other half in the other bottle.

- I'll be quick. - OK.

Ooh.

HE GROANS

CHILD WHINES

Ohh.

My son just turned 14.

Last year, when I had him, he was still a little kid.

And then I hear him over the phone and his voice is slowly changing.

He's got a moustache now.

One year went by

and he's already growing up to be a little bit of a man,

so I didn't... like, I don't want to miss any more of that.

Fuck, that hurts.

HE GROANS

I think men would like to have something a little different.

Not really too much men can do to change about themselves.

Women have breast implants and BBLs.

It's about time there's something for men to change.

I tend to not feel like I'm as big as I am.

Things still make me feel like I'm a small person inside.

We all have things that we'd like to be better.

For some people,

it's that they're balding at 23.

For some people, it's that they're too skinny or too overweight.

But for me, I just wanted just, like, a girthier penis.

That was what I wanted.

You don't want to accept something bad, like, that happened to you.

Being confident again,

I'm excited for that.

That's what I'm looking for... forward to.

Yeah. Sorry.

Just when I think that there's nothing else more

that this life can offer to me...

...something else comes along.

Some people are just greedy.

They just want more and more and more.

And I think that that's OK.

You know, there's nothing wrong with trying to make yourself be better.

Did you have, like, a niche on OnlyFans?

- Me? - Yeah. - Oh, his niche is that people think he's 12.

- And so... - No, no. - That is the truth.

But he looks like he is...

- He is legal porn for paedophiles. - That's not true.

- It is true. - No, I was just cute. That was it.

- That was my niche. - But he looks very young.

- Yeah. - That is part of what people liked about him, I'm pretty sure.

Well, I just did it cos I'm cute and people liked it.

- That's it. - And because he filled a fantasy for people who...

- It's true. - Yeah, but... - I mean,

he legally fulfilled a fantasy for people.

Yeah.

Next topic.

I didn't bring it up.

You're going to be so happy when you get this,

- the crap, out of you. - Yeah.

I can't even imagine what it's like on a daily basis to,

like, feel myself and feel this substance that's hard

and solid inside my body

and not be able to do anything about it.

Well, we're going to do something about it now, so I'm happy.

I mean, this could make somebody very suicidal.

Yeah, but thankfully, that wasn't me.

There was a point that I kind of accepted it,

and I thought that was just going to be how it went.

I'm glad that through you

and your recommendation and Dr Tatem,

I could figure this out.

But if I was going to wish something,

I would wish I had never gone in the first place to Dr Loria.

I think I was fine before.

Well, every man wants a bigger dick.

Yeah, but I didn't need it.

LIFT PINGS

So, David, you know, in your own words, man,

can you just share a little bit of your story?

How did this all get started?

Yeah, um...

I, you know, I was 19 and I decided to start doing some,

like, fun videos with a friend of mine.

And eventually those videos turned into,

like, a little bit of an OnlyFans situation.

- Mm-hm. - And once I got into that industry...

SPEECH DROWNED BY MUSIC

PHONE VIBRATES

A few months into Covid,

I look at my phone and I have, like, 100 missed calls.

My mom screenshotted text messages that she got

from an anonymous number of me in the act on OnlyFans.

And at that point, they didn't know I was gay yet.

I didn't control how it happened. I wish I could have controlled it.

I wish that I was the one to have told her.

And that's when I found Bill with PhalloFILL,

and he did what he could,

- but it's really hard to fix what I had... - Yeah.

...because those nodules feel so different from everything else.

And the look of it, it's not great for me.

So, it's been a few years.

It's definitely like, um...

Sorry.

HE SNIFFLES

I really didn't think I was going to be emotional.

You're good, buddy. You're good.

You know, you are not alone in this, man.

I mean, this is something that, as you've seen,

so many other men have struggled with.

You know, it's our goal to try and give you back

that confidence and that dignity that you deserve, right?

It doesn't end after surgery tomorrow, OK?

Healing is a process. It's a physical process.

It's an emotional process.

And like I told you, you've got my cell number.

Like, if you just got to, you know, call me at 9.30

because you're just like, "Dude, I'm staring down.

"I'm having a panic attack.

"I don't know what's underneath this bandage."

- And, you know, like, listen, I'm here for you, OK? - Yeah.

Because again,

like, you know, this is a journey that no guy

should have to walk alone. All right?

- So, you know, we got you. - Thank you. Thank you.

So, so what is really... what's bothersome is this stuff right here,

- is that right? - You can feel it, like, right here.

- Yeah. - There's some, like... Yeah, all of that.

- Oh, I see it. - And then obviously,

this is so bad ugly right here.

I've seen patients that have had filler

that I can't even identify injected in their penis,

where their penis doesn't even look like a normal phallus.

And they're coming to me asking, you know, "Can you fix this?"

And unfortunately, the answer is sometimes no.

Most of the filler has gone right here,

and when you pull it back, you can see it right there.

- That bulge. - That bulge.

He has four areas where he has developed these nodules

that have invaded the shaft of the penis.

He was able to get erections and he was able to achieve orgasm,

but if he were to have a horrific surgical complication,

those things could be at risk.

He was taken advantage of by a doctor who didn't care about him,

by a doctor who prioritised profits over his wellbeing.

And more than anything, he needs an advocate,

someone that cares about him as a human being.

- There's a lot of moving parts as we go through this. - Of course.

But your safety is what comes first.

And everything is done as if you're our brother or our son,

and that's the safety and how we'll take care of you.

This is what has to be done in order to get him to

a place where he is confident and secure in who he is.

The grass is always green here cos it's fake.

Well, except for the black spots from the dog shit.

I can't complain, yeah.

I'm living here with my family...

...Lana, and my three kids.

They're very minimalist, you know, as far as, like...

...belongings go.

And also my other baby mama... HE LAUGHS

...and my two older sons.

This is our room.

Me and Lana sleep here.

The kids have their... We keep their mattresses in the closet,

but when we go to bed, we lay their mattresses out,

and they sleep over here on this end.

So we're all living here in one big, happy family household.

Sure, Lana. Yeah, I took advantage of you, yeah.

Well, I don't know, Lana. Talk. Tal...

What do you want to do? What do you want?

CLATTERING CHILD WHINES

- - What kind of men are you surrounding yourself by?

What are the things that are important to you?

And I think it's... It's not, you know,

some sort of rejection of these classically masculine traits,

having the ability and understanding you have

the responsibility to keep your family safe,

it is absolutely essential

in being a man and providing.

I think having a healthy

relationship with violence, having an understanding of it...

I know that I've never really, like, liked who I am.

Whenever I'm somewhere by myself...

...I feel like people are staring at me, wondering why I'm there.

Like talking, kind of like talking to themselves,

saying, "This guy should just leave."

Which is why I go by Rudy Ramzy onstage.

APPLAUSE

When it first happened, I didn't tell anybody about it.

My family never knew anything was different.

LAUGHTER

I still think about it. It still bothers me.

So I'm trying really hard to be as good of a father to my kids

so that they're comfortable telling me anything.

Do you feel like you're happier than

when you began your journey with Bill about a year ago?

No, I think I'm happier.

Like, as far as the cosmetic part goes,

yes, I'm happier with the new penis.

I wish everything in my life would have stayed the same.

Unfortunately, that's not how life works.

But...

If I could just... If I could have just focused on

the penis part and took out everything else

that happened in my life...

...and kept... and, like, not worried

about everything else and like, oh, the house never got sold,

I stayed there, the kids came over in the summertime,

like everything that always happened like regular,

Lana never went crazy.

I kept working.

You know? HE LAUGHS

My back yard wasn't looking like shit.

A comedian friend

that I actually know here in Phoenix, he is out of town,

so he asked me to do a guest host for his open mic.

So I'm going to run that for him.

I haven't had something

to look forward to like this in a little while.

Yeah, I never wanted to punch a little kid before.

And goddamn, man,

he told me something the other day, because I...

I'm a little high, by the way. Yeah. HE CHUCKLES

- Weed's legal here. That's awesome. - It definitely is.

Yeah, I had some edibles earlier.

That's like the first thing I did when I moved over here was

got a Arizona licence.

HE LAUGHS

I did not tell that story very well at all.

No, that was garbage.

Uh, fuck.

Uh, what's next on the topic that I haven't talked about?

I...

This isn't really a joke,

it's just, like, a weird thing that I did.

Like, I got a new dick.

And, like, I'm proud about it,

so, like, I don't mind talking about it.

And...

...a lot of people, like, would be like,

"Why are you talking about that?"

But like, I don't mind, like, I got a new penis.

It really is. It's a weird thing to say.

Do you have a malleable or an inflatable?

That's a good question.

You know, it's like lip injections only for your cock.

LAUGHTER It's the BBLs of dick.

Don't listen to your girlfriend, cos she's going to be...

She's going to tell you like, "Oh, no, your penis is fine.

"I love how your penis is."

You going to be like, "Yeah, baby, I know my penis is good."

No, no.

When I get it all off my chest

and still be able to make people laugh through it,

it helps me be better as a comic.

I try not to run away from who I am.

Hey, what are we doing for you today?

- We got surgery. - OK, so we're doing penoplasty

under general anaesthesia with Dr Tatem?

- That's right. - And who's here with you today?

- William Moore. - And who is that to you?

My friend.

I'm going to have this plastic surgeon do my nose.

- Yeah. - I am. I'm going to come back.

I'm going to have him do my nose soon.

And... and Clint wants his done, too?

We're both going to do our nose at the same time.

Nose jobs don't last, all that, for the rest of your life

because the cartilage doesn't hold up.

So he's going to put in cartilage from a young person

that was harvested...

...that will last longer.

My mom, I wish that I could confide in her.

All my experiences, even this,

she has no idea that I'm going through this.

No-one does.

I really can't tell her anything,

because everything that I do according to her

is sinful and shameful.

All right. Sweet. Rock and roll.

Faith has played a very big part in my life.

But the shame that can come with

that sometimes can be... can be really powerful.

It should be a message of incredible love and grace.

But I will say that's not what I always felt growing up.

I felt a great amount of shame when it came to sex,

when it came to being curious about these sorts of things.

It's kind of sad because we were very close.

We know that when we have infants,

even if you give them all the food they need,

if you change their diapers, if you don't touch them,

if you don't hold them, if you don't give skin-to-skin contact,

they waste away and they die.

There's a limit to what a scalpel

and a syringe can provide.

True happiness, true joy is not something

that I can give somebody when they're asleep on the table.

I can fill your penis with filler,

but I cannot fill the hole in your heart.

I don't want to hurt anybody, never.

It baffles me how evil people can actually be.

I hope he feels bad.

I don't know if he does, because he still does it.

This is even above average.

So then you have this in real life.

Not the length. Forget the length.

Just look at the girth.

So we have patients that are this thin,

a lot are around this size,

and the over above... a little above average is this girth.

OK? So if we were to do let's say two or three treatments,

the girth that we could achieve...

...is this.

This is what we recommend.

OK? Quite a difference.

Quite a difference.

This is stimulating.

I'm not saying these won't to some degree.

As long as it's done right, it's very safe.

Bottom line. I've done 11,000 procedures.

Let's say a patient had treatment done, he's content.

Five years later he says,

"Hey, I got an elevation or a bump here." OK?

We just got to poke it with a needle and drain it.

That's all it is, is unconverted filler.

Patients used to ask - not any more -

they'd say, "Is this FDA approved?"

Well, as a doctor, I'm also a pharmacist to my patients.

So I'm allowed to compound for my patients, you see.

If the FDA, you know, cuffed us and said,

"No, you can't compound," whatever, let me tell you something,

medicine would come to a halt because, you know,

we want to explore a little bit and carefully,

slowly and safely, to advance medicine.

And this actually advances medicine.

I'm sure you had patients who are unhappy

and they call you and they say, "Dr Loria, what's going on?"

When you receive that phone call, what do you do?

Well, they would have to explain what they mean.

I'd say, "Look, if you're a perfectionist,

"don't come to me because I am not God Almighty, OK?"

Look, this happened with breast implants, too.

When they first came out, those guys were crucified.

It's like, "What are you doing to those women?" type of thing.

And look now, OK?

So someone has to take the hit, right? Someone like me.

People don't talk nice about me.

I already know that. OK?

And it's sad. I wish I could talk to them and say,

"Hey, what don't you like?"

I started to see some nodules,

some hardening of the filler.

Really massive. It's just one glob

that could kind of move around.

People don't even know what that filler actually is.

And he won't disclose it.

Any type of friction with another person being intimate,

it tears, it gets... It starts bleeding and stinging.

The urologists looked at it and they said,

"The only way we can fix this is to completely deglove your penis,

"remove everything that's in there,

"and then try to put everything back together."

I want him to feel what we feel.

Being embarrassed to show all of you,

to talk about it,

thinking that this is what your life is going to be forever.

I'm a victim of his procedure and I'm one of many,

and I know that he knows that.

It was by far the worst decision

I have made in 50 years on this Earth.

My father, he was a mafia guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yes.

It's like we lived the Goodfellas life.

You ever see that movie?

Yeah. That was our life. The movie sounds really good

and stuff like that, but they're all paranoid.

All the stuff they're doing, they're all like, you know,

"When are we going to go to jail?" Basically.

Evil never sleeps.

OK? So trust me, they're doing something.

Someone's doing something. But anyway...

Can you open your eyes?

Put that down there.

Can you open your eyes? Hey, there you are.

You're all done.

You're in the recovery room now.

You've got a real big bandage on right now, OK?

Everything's kind of all wrapped up in gauze.

And you have an ice pack on.

Everything's going to feel kind of tight and heavy for the moment.

Wow.

- You did good. - Oh. - All right? - Who are you?

- My name's Tyler. I'm one of your nurses. - OK.

- Nice to meet you. - You, too.

Oh, my man!

- Mm. - I got to tell you, man,

you got a good-looking penis.

All right? It looks fantastic. All right?

HE SOBS

OK.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

DAVID WHISPERS

That's what he told me.

That it looks really good.

Did you... you've been to the bathroom, right?

Just...

- ...put a little bucket. - Did you see anything?

- Or it's all bandaged up? You can't see. - It's all bandaged.

He said it's going to look great.

And he said that he thinks that you're going

to be able to have dermal filler

in about a year if you choose to, with hyaluronic acid,

because he said everything

was maintained like it was supposed to be.

It doesn't sound like he had to take out all of it,

so there was some thinner layers of it that he left in.

So you're not going to be back down to the size

that you were when you started this anyway.

So you're going to have a little bit,

a little bit of result from what you've done,

and we'll get you more in a year or so.

- I hope it looks good. - I'm sure it's going to look great.

You had two artists working on you.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

CHICKEN CLUCKS

Yay, shade!

Hey, can I be the swimming girl that cleans the pool by swimming?

You want... How would you clean the pool by swimming?

Cos I grab weeds and then...

And then...

I was trying to see if I could make it work over there...

...but it was not working.

Lana just hated it.

So we made the decision to move back to Texas.

Luckily for me, my mom was able

to help us out to move back over here.

We'll come stay over here until we get back on our feet.

You know?

I haven't done comedy lately.

I've been focusing on trying to get my family financially set up.

It's hard to get yourself out of that slump.

And it's funny,

all this shit happened right after I get the dick,

you know, the dick shots.

Ruben, this is actually some of my best work that I've ever done.

- This is fucking big. - I know. - I really can't...

I really... I can't get over how big it is right now.

If you would consider it,

I think I'd like to get you to be on my website.

Right now, I've got you at exactly 5.75 on the nose.

I mean, you don't have a blemish, you don't have a bop,

you don't have a lop, you don't have anything.

It looks like it's completely God-given.

All right. Are you ready?

One, two, three...

I am very self-confident about how I look.

So incredibly comfortable with it.

I was never a shower before. I was always more of a grower.

From when I start my day and I look

in the mirror and I'm brushing my teeth...

...I see a different person than what I used to see.

I was dating someone back in the late 2000s...

...and we got into a fight and, in anger, he called me

a little-dick motherfucker.

And I had my first augmentation in 2010.

I had my suspensory ligament dissected, or cut,

which was supposed to allow your penis

to look longer whenever it's flaccid.

And I had fat grafting, so I had

liposuction done on my inner thighs,

and the fat was harvested and it was put into my penis.

I've had testicular enhancement, I've had PhalloFILL,

I've had Botox, I've had dermal fillers.

They numb me on my cheeks. They insert threads with barbs.

They twist it. The barbs connect to your skin.

They pull them, tie them off.

And I have four - one, two, three, four.

And it pulled my cheek back up. I'd just turned 50.

And nobody would ever suspect that I've ever had anything done.

That makes me feel good as well,

that I'm not walking around with my clothes off

but yet someone's saying, "Oh, look at that.

"That guy had something done.

"He's had something injected into his dick."

So nobody's thinking that about me, and I like that too.

I hope I hold a place in history.

Look over your right shoulder on the wall.

- It wasn't here last time. - Wow.

And it's a total of 44 countries that we're now patented in.

We've got a lot of work to do, but we are paving the way.

I always wanted to be respected.

I have respect now.

I am full-time in school.

I'll be graduating as a BSN-registered nurse.

Hopefully I can help other men that may have been in my position.

I hope that I can make a difference in their lives.

Yeah, I would love that.

It really looks normal now, which is strange to say, you know?

I've never been so glad to be normal.

I feel so much better. I feel so good.

"Hi, Mom.

"I know that you're probably a bit

"disappointed with some of the things I've done.

"God talks about love and you have taught me to love.

"I hope that you can accept my truth.

"I love you, your son."

♪ D-d-d-desire

♪ D-d-d-desire... ♪

Oh, my God, it's so big. GIRL LAUGHS

♪ D-d-d-d, d-d-d-desire. ♪