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["Let Her Go" by LUCASV and Isaac Delusion]

[narrator] This is the story of Jillian.

It's also the story of Johnny, and it's the story of Jack.

Jack was what his best friend Johnny would call a cynic.

Jack would say he was a realist as all cynics are known to do.

Unlike Johnny, he didn't believe

in one bright, shining love.

He bounced from casual affair to casual affair,

mostly untouched,

exactly as he liked it.

Though they'd met in the same writing programme

at university,

Jack had given up his dreams

of writing the great British novel.

He lacked Johnny's romanticising of the struggle.

Jack also realised he liked nice things.

He'd gone back to school and was now

a comfortably successful independent lawyer.

Johnny was an aspiring writer.

When one of his short stories was printed

in a prestigious magazine,

multiple publishers became interested in his first novel,

and so he'd started writing it.

In the meantime, he paid the bills

by working at an independent bookshop.

Struggling didn't bother him,

because he knew he'd found his calling,

and he knew his book was going to be great.

A serial monogamist with a flair for the romantic.

He moved from infatuations to devastating break-ups

when he realised that each woman wasn't "the one."

This is so dumb.

[narrator] And Johnny could not stop for anyone

but "the one,"

For what was the point of life, if not deep, true love?

-I know. I know. -[dog whimpers]

[vehicle approaching]

[relieved sigh]

[Johnny chuckles]

I'm not coming.

Do we have to do this every time you break up?

-I drove all the way here. -He drove here.

-You live seven minutes away. -It's been two weeks.

Stop being a dick.

Put Bill the dog inside,

get in the car. We're doing the thing.

I'm not doing the thing.

-We're doing the thing, Johnny. -I don't wanna--

We're doing the thing.

We're doing the thing.

[sighs] For fuck's sake.

So, did you know she wasn't the one?

I don't answer those kinds of questions.

-Hey, mate. -[man 1] Hey, guys.

You all right, mate?

What the fuck's his name? Do you know him?

[both laugh]

I have no idea,

so I just call him mate every time I see him.

Listen, to quote your mate Tolstoy,

"Relax and have a fucking drink, mate."

-Think that was Dickens. -Exactly. Hamlet.

It's a good book.

[both laugh]

-How is the book coming? -Oh, you know,

breakups are amazing motivators.

Finish that thing, mate. Get it out there.

-Hi, Veronica. -Hi, Jack. Johnny.

How's your boy?

Oh, he's an arsehole, and we're done.

You've got to get better taste in men.

Yeah, that's why I'm staying away from you.

Ah... Actually, this guy, this guy is the perfect rebound.

What are you doing, Johnny?

-I'm doing the thing. -Don't encourage him.

But you're seeing someone, aren't you?

-[groans] -Oh, I liked her.

-We're not talking about that. -Oh, shut up, Jack.

How long were you together?

-Five months. -What happened?

Er, you know,

I just wasn't feeling the feelings

I was supposed to be feeling,

so I didn't wanna waste her time.

-I'm sorry, honey. -What are you gonna do?

These things don't work out.

Long run, doesn't really matter, does it?

We all know you're defective, Jack.

-[chuckles] What? -Actually, the long run

is kind of the only thing that matters,

'cause in the end, it's you and your love, and I just...

-I just don't wanna settle. -I'm with you, Johnny.

Bye, boys.

[Veronica] Hi, girls.

Hi.

[Jack] That one on the left likes you.

Too soon.

Making an observation, mate, not a suggestion.

-She's your type, too. -I've got a type?

Yeah, girls who like you.

[both laugh]

Fuck, is that true?

Yeah.

That's depressing.

-I'm gonna shoot off, mate. -What? What?

-I'm gonna shoot off. -No, you're not.

Diana's waiting for us.

Do you think I'm a bad person?

No.

You're just a malcontent.

Ah, I love it when you use book club words on me.

-You quit book club. -Book club quit me, Diana.

[snorts]

Maybe I'll never find the right person.

Or maybe Brooke was the right person.

You said she didn't care about the writing at all.

And I'm not a malcontent.

It's your nature.

Or maybe even if I found the perfect girl,

maybe I'd decide she isn't perfect.

Maybe I'm just incapable of being content.

Yeah, I think that's what malcontent means.

-See, this is why we're close. -[chuckles]

I pity the women that fall for you.

Ah, well, at least I'm a good friend.

-[Diana] The best. -I'll take it.

[lounge music playing]

Well, not that. I mean, you know, everywhere else...

[woman] Oh, okay. Sorry.

[Diana] What do you want?

Er, come home with me.

[chuckles]

What? Why not?

I don't date malcontents.

You dated a heroin addict for two years.

He was tortured. There's a difference.

I'm tortured. What is the difference?

It's a matter of tone.

Malcontents need to talk more.

They change their mind for any reason.

And they drink red wine in bars.

-[exhales] Gimme a whisky. -No.

-You're cut off. -What? Why?

You only try to sleep with me when you're hammered.

-I love you. -I don't sleep with friends.

You slept with Jack.

And then we became friends.

[laughter]

Can we change the subject, please?

Thanks for dragging me out, mate.

Yeah. If you don't have friends, what do you got?

Yeah, true. I may never find love,

but with friends like you and Diana...

Jesus. Shut the fuck up.

[Johnny] What, am I making you emotional?

-Is it too emotional for you? -[Jack] Hey!

-Is it too emotional for you? -[both laugh]

[Jack] Oi, oi. Get off.

["Un Peu Plus Souvent" by Alexia Gredy]

[narrator] Jillian was a wanderer.

She'd left Michigan to go on a backpacking trip

through Thailand

and had never looked back.

She was determined to see as much of the world

as she could before she turned 40.

She travelled until she ran out of money,

then found a job, usually in hospitality,

until she saved enough for the next adventure.

She went from place to place,

job to job, relationship to relationship,

letting the wind take her where it would.

Okay, thank you so much.

-Hi, Jack. -Hi, Sharoni.

Could I get a bag of the...

-Medley Mix, please? -[Jillian] Hm.

It's the wrong choice.

[Jillian clears throat]

-Medley Mix it is. -[Jillian chuckles]

-And my usual. -Thank you.

-What did you order, then? -Er...

type-2 diabetes, apparently.

Seriously, though, do you have diabetes?

My father actually died from complications

stemming from type-2.

Quite sad.

I'm gonna stop fucking with you now,

'cause of the look on your face.

Oh my God.

-[Jillian] Fuck. -It was a risky one,

but you started it.

And now, you have my attention.

Well, that's what we really want in the end, isn't it?

A bit of attention.

[Sharoni] Iced oat milk hazelnut latte.

I know. I don't seem like the type, do I?

Hazelnut.

Tell me about it. The things I've wrecked

by breaking out the hazelnut too early.

Yeah. Way too early. See ya.

[narrator] Jillian had arrived in London three months ago

for a position in events at a boutique Shoreditch hotel.

Since she didn't know what she really wanted to do,

she did this in the meantime.

[Jillian] Okay, party for the premiere is confirmed.

-About time you got here. -I'm five early.

Thank you.

This stuff really is disgusting.

You asked for it.

I have gut issues. It's helping my second brain.

Ooh, Floral displays have arrived.

Meeting anyone?

-Through the apps. -The apps ruined gay culture.

-Where are the leather bars? -Mm.

Where's the subversiveness? That's why I became gay.

You love Brooks Brothers.

-Ugh, don't remind me. -Mm-hmm.

-Okay. -[both smooch]

Bye, Wheels.

[groans softly] Fuck.

["Moving On" by Roosevelt]

Bang.

[Johnny] Bang.

Good boy. Good boy.

♪ Moving on ♪

♪ So I just see this on my own ♪

♪ Just let me go ♪

♪ I got out of it to reach for more ♪

♪ Moving on ♪

[song ends]

[Johnny] All right, Tim.

There's a package here for him.

It says for the shop.

Probably books.

What do you think we should do with it?

Thought you might wanna open it.

Maybe put them on the shelves.

I'll do it when I hit a wall.

[Johnny] That eucalyptus essential oil

you've got in your steam shower is fucking incredible, mate.

This is why I don't give people keys. They end up here.

By the way, I never believed you.

About what?

I got you a green juice It's in the fridge.

About finding your perfect match.

I don't drink green juice, Johnny.

It's good for you. You need to be healthier.

-You smoke. -Yeah.

Do as I say, not as I do. Wait, hang on a minute.

You... you found your perfect match?

[Jack] Mm-mmm.

Yours.

That's great. That's great.

Except I would never trust you to pick the right girl for me.

Artsy, quirky, cool.

Yeah. Why don't you want her?

-Artsy, quirky, cool. -All right.

Who is she? Set me up.

You know what? I don't know her name.

I didn't get her number.

So, how does that help?

Just giving you some hope.

There's another situation out there

to make you miserable.

Mate, I give up. You are never gonna get a girlfriend.

Don't be optimistic, mate, at least not till I'm 40.

That's when you give up, settle down.

I'm meeting Brooke for lunch.

Whoa, talk about burying the lead. Why?

-It's been two months. -[phone chimes]

Let me rephrase. Why?

-Because-- -For the record,

I'm against this, and...

you have to go.

-Now? -Yes, right now.

Got a meeting.

[" B Side" by Eli Smart]

♪ She wants my honey honey... ♪

Ah. Fuck. Hi, Johnny.

Hi, Veronica.

[narrator] Women liked Jack, because he was light.

He was who he was, and he made no bones about it.

He had a method to keep things from getting complicated.

No more than once a week. Be the fun guy.

I think you're the sexiest woman--

-Oh my goodness, Jack. -[laughter]

[narrator] Not the guy she can take seriously.

Nobody gets hurt.

Bye, Jack.

[narrator] When Brooke called,

at first, Johnny was trepidatious,

but he liked the idea that he was the type of guy

who could be friends with his exes.

All right.

There we go.

Oh, well, thanks for seeing me today.

It's all right. It was, you know, nice.

I'm glad that we can be friends.

So, work's good, family's good?

You seeing anyone? Or is that... is that too soon?

I'm pregnant.

Oh, fuck.

Okay.

Okay. [mutters]

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

You know, it's not actually your problem. It's...

I was just gonna...

Well, anyway, I just thought you should know.

[Brooke, softly] Okay.

Wait, wait.

What?

We're gonna talk about this. We're gonna...

We're gonna talk about what the right thing to do is.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Let's just say the pull out method doesn't work.

I pull out with condoms on.

What?

You've got issues, mate.

-[chuckles] -I'm aware.

So, what, are you guys back on, then?

[exhales] I mean, if she decides that we're gonna

go forward with it, I would assume so, yeah.

You don't have to get back together with someone

because she's pregnant.

It doesn't mean she's "the one." It just means you had sex.

I know.

I know, but you know me. It's the right thing to do.

I always imagined being a young dad.

Weirdly,

it'd be with my book and "the one," but, er...

[sucks teeth] You know,

I don't know, maybe I over-romanticised that.

-Maybe a bit. -Fuck off.

[chuckles] I'm just kidding, mate.

-It's gonna be fine. -Yeah.

[Jillian] I don't know when I'm coming home, Mum.

Just don't pressure me.

Mm-hmm.

Oh! Yeah, that's fine.

I spoke with him yesterday.

I'm... Yeah, Mum, I'm having fun.

Erm...

So much fun. Mm-hmm.

Okay. You know, the... I really got to go.

Yeah, this is work on the other line. I love you.

["OMG" by Suki Waterhouse playing on phone]

[exhales]

♪ Oh my God ♪

♪ Take me back the way that I was ♪

♪ Oh my God, you know I-- ♪

[music halts]

Oh my God. [laughs]

♪ Oh my God ♪

♪ Oh my God ♪

♪ Take me back the way that I was ♪

-♪ The way that I was ♪ -[exhales sharply]

[song ends]

Erm, can I just do a medium coffee, black, please.

Oh, no.

I am so not up for being made fun of

for my hazelnut craving

Ah. Oh, yeah. Ew.

Just think of it as you getting to see my soft side

way early in our relationship.

Oh, now we're in a relationship?

God, you're aggressive.

Fine, I'll buy you a cup of coffee.

I'm only saying yes only just so you don't embarrass yourself

in front of all these people.

-I'm Jillian. -Jack.

-Don't you have to be at work? -I work for myself.

-You're an influencer. -No.

-Unemployed. -No.

-You're a drug dealer? -Yes. Actually, yeah.

-Mm. -If by drugs,

you mean legal contracts.

-Ah, lawyer. -Yeah.

Wow. That's so boring.

Jesus, you buy a girl a cup of coffee,

and she undercuts your whole existence.

Well, imagine dating her.

Why aren't you in the office?

Erm, the existential crisis of having to be somewhere,

-not worth it. -So, you don't have an office?

I've got a few offices.

There's a startup I rep.

I have to go in twice a week so I'm seen.

Then, the law firm I work for, really just for the cred.

Er, then of course, Soho House,

and the one you're sitting in right now.

-Why aren't you at work? -It's Monday.

-Influencer. -Drug dealer.

Do drug dealers get Mondays off?

Mm, Sundays and Mondays.

-Wow, good gig. -I know.

No, I work in hospitality at a... this hotel.

It's a job.

Well, at least you don't

post professionally on social media.

Actually, having a career is wildly attractive.

I do believe you just gave me a compliment

while also being incredibly condescending.

I would never give you a compliment,

not with that attitude.

-You're kind of annoying. -I'm a lawyer.

What do you... what do you care about, Jack?

What?

You just, you have a quick response

to everything, but I...

I have no idea what's behind it.

What do you want out of your life?

I'd like to get your number.

-See you later. -Bye.

Hey! Jack!

-Yeah. -You wanna go for a walk?

-What, right now? -Yeah.

-We just hung out. -Let's hang out again.

I'm feeling quite good, actually, about my performance

on the initial hang.

[laughs] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Brooke] I like Olivia for a girl.

-We're not doing Olivia. -Why not?

I'm sorry. We're not doing Olivia.

Olivia's the most common name for a girl in England.

Have you been Googling it?

Listen, we might have been blindsided,

but I did my catching up pretty quickly.

And, yeah, Olivia's not happening.

But, listen to this.

For a boy,

Brucewayne. One word.

-Yeah? -Creative. Nice. Yeah.

Cool. Glad we're on the same page.

We're not naming our son after Batman.

[chuckles]

If we're even having a kid.

Well, I... I know where I think you're at with all this,

but I don't wanna make assumptions, so...

where are you at?

Where do you think I'm at?

Well, I think, and I might be wrong,

but it feels like to me you wanna...

you wanna have this baby.

If that's true, then I'm... I'm with you 100%.

And, erm...

maybe we shouldn't have split up in the first place.

I mean...

I kinda feel like if we split up before

it was probably for a reason, you know.

Is that okay?

Yeah, completely.

Are we doing the right thing?

Yeah, I thought... so.

Wait, listen, I support whatever decision you make.

Okay. But are you okay with this?

Listen.

We're gonna co-parent the shit out of this kid, okay?

Did you always wanna be a lawyer?

No, I really wanted to be a writer.

Couldn't get it going.

Ever think about picking it back up?

-Not really. -Hmm.

No, when I make a decision, I burn the boats.

When Cortez landed in Mexico in the 1600s,

he only had 600 soldiers against the entire might

of the Aztec nation.

He knew to win,

he needed absolute commitment from his men,

so he burnt the boats.

-So there was no going back. -Right.

So, I deleted every scrap of writing

I'd ever done, every idea,

threw myself into the next endeavour.

No going back.

I'm like that, too.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'm, er,

I think I'm happiest in motion.

So, when some place doesn't have enough gravity

to hold me in place, I'm onto the next adventure.

Good swimmers go forward.

Okay.

So...

when was your last girlfriend?

All right. Like the last actual girlfriend,

or the last girl I was seeing?

Either. Both.

[inhales deeply]

Seeing this one girl for a hot second

-a few months ago. -Mm-hmm.

But the last actual girlfriend, four years, maybe.

Long time. Something wrong with you?

Not clinically diagnosed, no.

Just hadn't met the person who made me want to make it work.

Hadn't.

And have you now?

No.

The plan is to wait until 40 before even thinking about that.

I think plans are stupid.

♪ Stop, I want you to stop ♪

♪ Stop breaking my heart ♪

♪ Stop, want you to stop ♪

♪ Stop breaking my heart ♪

[narrator] Jillian surprised herself in that moment,

although Jack would never know it.

More in how she felt than what she did.

And for Jack,

this was a girl who could do a number on him.

And there hadn't been one of those in a while.

[upbeat music playing]

See?

I knew she wasn't real.

Hundred percent your imaginary girlfriend

-flakes tonight. -She's on her way.

-[Diana] No chance. -Is Brooke coming?

Nope, not tonight. Corporate accounting,

early mornings, and the whole pregnancy thing.

-Wait, you invited her? -Yeah.

Figured it's best that we're great friends.

[Diana] Anyone new on the horizon?

Nah, I'm not really looking for anything right now.

Not until after the baby comes, anyway. Feels too weird.

-Impending fatherhood suits you. -Yeah?

-Yeah, I think so, too. -[Diana chuckles]

What about you? Any boys on the horizon?

-I'm off men. -Back on women?

Too complicated.

-[Jack] Hey. -Do you see her, too?

Yeah, she's actually real.

I just feel like the whole swiping

takes away the spontaneity of it all.

I just hate the feeling of disposability,

it's like on to the next, on to the next, on to the next.

I mean, I'm obviously on all of them, but...

-[laughter] -Yeah, but for someone like me

who moves around a lot, it's great.

-Wait, you guys met on an app? -Nope. Real life.

-Oh, that's dirty. -Hey.

-[chuckles] -We went on a date.

I don't think you can call an incidental coffee a date.

[Jack] Of course it is.

And then she actually asked me on another date.

Is an... is an after-coffee walk a date?

Yeah, yeah. You did a double date.

Yeah, we double-dated.

And he was so cute,

I had no choice, I had to kiss him.

-So romantic. -Fucking hell.

Am I in a cheesy movie?

I like those movies.

I sort of took you for an art house type.

No. No, no, no. No pretension for me.

I think she just called you pretentious.

Well, no... Well, listen.

If the movies are objectively better,

it's not pretentious. Why, what films do you like?

Oh, here we go. Here we go. Guilty pleasure incoming.

Okay, don't try to stick it to me, because you're into vinyl,

I get it. It's got a warmer feel.

[laughs]

-What, am I wrong? Am I wrong? -[Diana] Mm-mm.

Okay. Fine. This is embarrassing.

My favourite film genre is rich people in crisis.

It is a subgenre of cheesy romantic comedy,

and I just don't have to stress watching it, because,

you know, if everything goes to shit,

they're gonna be perfectly fine,

especially if it's set in the Hamptons or something.

All right. You can count me out of movie night, then.

Who said you were invited?

[laughs]

My round.

[narrator] Compared to previous boyfriends,

Jack didn't vocalise his feelings,

but Jillian knew introducing her

to his closest friends was a big deal for him,

and she liked that.

[Diana] Okay, let's discuss, let's discuss. You like her.

-So far, I don't dislike her. -[relieved sigh]

I really like her. Johnny?

-She's fantastic. -She really is.

-So, don't do you. -What are you talking about?

Don't just be "doin' the thing."

I'm not just doing the thing.

The keeping it light, the no more than once a week,

the hiding across the street until she leaves your apartment.

-[Jack] All right. Sh-- -Jack mantra bullshit.

You don't know me.

When it's real, don't slow it down.

Brakes aren't sexy.

-All right. -[Diana] All right?

-All right. -[Johnny] All right.

To the death of cynicism.

Since when are you a whisky guy?

Since you became a romantic.

[laughter]

All right. Tequila for you two,

and for you,

-an artisanal lemon drop. -Okay, thank you.

All right.

To finally meeting you guys

after hearing so much about you.

[Diana] Cheers.

-Cheers. -[Jack] Cheers.

All right.

[narrator] Johnny had gone to see his friends

completely confident in the direction

his life was going.

That was before he met Jillian.

Jack, on the other hand,

had left his friends completely confident

in the direction his relationship was going.

[Jillian] I knew you lived across from me,

but I didn't realise you can literally spy into my window.

-[blinds rustle] -What?

-You can? -Mm-hmm.

Have you spied on me?

-No. -You're a terrible liar...

and a creeper.

Great, now I have to close my shades

when I wanna be shady.

Yeah, right, I'm never closing them again.

-Lucky you! -Lucky the rest of my building.

You're just lucky the sex is decent,

-or I'd never come 'round again. -Decent?

I... When we first hooked up, I almost didn't come back.

Wha...

If he's this good, he must be an asshole.

Right, I-I just read a lot of lesbian erotica.

Mm. That tracks.

What's your name, again?

-[both laugh] -You fucker.

[narrator] Trying not to think about Jillian,

Johnny had settled back into his normal routine.

Hey, Johnny.

-Oh, hi. -[Jillian] What are you up to?

Er, working.

Is there anything in particular that you're looking for?

Yes. Er...

I didn't have your number, and I didn't wanna clue Jack in.

I need to ask you something.

I feel like I should already know.

Jack's birthday's coming up.

-I have no idea what to get him. -Get him a book.

-Ignore Tim. -Okay.

So, maybe... maybe I could buy you something delicious

and pick your brain?

Or not.

No, no, I'll...

Tim, I'm gonna take my break, okay?

I'll manage.

["Looking For Something" by CASTLEBEAT]

[Jillian] Who's your favourite, then?

[Johnny] I don't wanna be this guy.

But I kind of am this guy. So...

Fante, Ellroy, Bukowski.

[Jillian] Mm, so you aspire to be an alcoholic.

[Johnny] Yeah, the writing's only secondary.

But wait, you know them?

[Jillian] I might like my films romcom,

but I love my literature messy.

So, did you always know that the writing thing was for you?

No, when I was a little kid, I wanted to be a work dad.

-A work dad? -Walk through the front door,

briefcase in hand. I loved the look.

And then, I discovered my grandfather's 1938

Imperial Good Companion typewriter.

That's what did it?

Listen, Jillian, if you saw this thing,

you wouldn't question it. It's beautiful.

I thought I was so cool when I was a little kid,

just sitting there banging away. And then,

I discovered what you could make with it.

And that was it.

-So, basically, you always knew. -Yeah.

I've always wanted to tell stories. What about you?

Did you always wanna be a hotel events coordinator?

Oh, I always knew, ever since I was a little girl.

[laughs] I, erm, I fell into it,

like I fall into everything.

I don't feel like that's who I am.

No, no, of course not. You're... you're not your job.

I... I'm not a bookseller, even though that's what I do

to make money.

Yeah, but s... somehow, with this job, I f...

I feel like I'm good at it, like it could lead somewhere.

[hesitates] Maybe it's what I'm supposed to do.

I don't know. Maybe that's why I... I always ask people,

like when did they find their calling?

Maybe I don't have a calling.

Okay.

If you could do anything, what would it be?

Oh, so we're having the dream job conversation?

Okay. Erm...

I would be a bohemian photographer,

and just wander around taking pictures of...

of good-looking people and awesome nature spots.

Yeah, like non-cheesy Instagram porn.

Then you should do it.

It's just maybe not a career.

Fuck that. If it's your passion, you should go for it.

Yeah.

Except I think I like the concept

better than I like the actual thing.

Like I...

I don't fantasise about taking the pictures.

It's not about the actual work.

The fantasy's about being a cool photographer

who's just kind of casually brilliant.

That's... that's your version of work dad.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just an idea.

I mean, I wish I was as into something

as you are your writing, but...

[Johnny] It's not a problem. You can hide Jack's present

-at my place. -You're sure?

Hundred percent. We always hang at Jack's. He never comes here.

Okay. Perfect.

I'll come by day of.

Hey, you know, if... if the writing thing doesn't work out,

you make an excellent personal shopper.

Right.

-Er, well, this is me. So... -Okay.

I'd... I'd love to read something of yours sometime.

All right.

Now?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah. [sighs]

-Yeah? -Yeah.

A lot of people talk,

but you are everything you say you are.

It's beautiful. I... I absolutely love it.

Thank you.

Thank you. Do you wanna a cup of tea?

Yeah, sure.

So, when... when can I read more?

How's the book coming along?

Er, honestly...

slowly.

I'm four years in, which is longer than I'd hoped.

But your first book kind of sets the stage

for who you are as an author, so it's important.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

Yeah. But good is the enemy of great.

You know, Alan Rickman was toiling away on the stage

for years.

I don't think he did his first film

till he was 41.

Yeah, and Die Hard was amazing.

I thought you only liked art films.

Die Hard is an art film.

[chuckles] True.

Here you go.

You don't work on it.

No. No, I'm not entirely trapped in a bygone age.

Too bad.

[phone chimes]

I got to go.

Thank you for letting me pick your brain.

No, it's all good. Anything for a free meal.

And for the story.

It's really good.

Thank you.

-All right. See you soon. -See you later.

It's sucks, but at least I start work late enough

so we can have a... a birthday drink together.

[Jack] It's fine. I texted Johnny.

-We need to-- -[all] Surprise!

Got you!

[all laughing]

-Oh, you helped, obviously. -No, it was her.

I just called our lot.

[Diana] Happy birthday.

♪ Could be the worst time I ever had ♪

♪ Lose my mind, always get it back ♪

♪ There's no point in being super-sad ♪

♪ All of the tears I wish I never cried... ♪

What's going on over here then?

Nothing.

Just thinking about you and Jack, and our friendship,

and how much you both mean to me, and...

Okay, I've met someone.

What? Why didn't you bring him along?

Because it's new, and I like him,

and he gives me butterflies, and he's nerdy,

and he wears rugby shirts and makes me talk too fast.

And I blush when I think about him.

-Whoa. -Very well.

The rugby shirts are killing me, though.

-Well, does he have a name? -Yes. Richard David.

-Two first names? -Mm-hmm.

Gets worse.

His middle name is Steven.

You're dating a guy named Rick Steve Dave?

-No. -Jack.

Jack, come over here. Diana's in love.

-What? -Er, aggressive statement.

With a guy named Richard Steven David.

-Three first names? -Rick Steve Dave.

I never should have said anything.

-And he wears rugby shirts. -Oh,

not a good look, Rick Steve Dave.

It's good, isn't it? Just rolls off the tongue.

-Rick Steve Dave. -[Jack] Does too, doesn't it?

Rick Steve Dave.

Is that what you yell out in bed,

all three names?

That is really good.

You should put that in your book.

That's a good idea. I might.

Fuck me, you guys are awful.

-And you're in love. -So are you.

Who'd have thought it'd been you two?

Literally no one.

♪ The good old days... ♪

Hey, Brooke, Brooke,

that better be... that better be orange juice.

It's orange juice, babe, it's orange juice.

Is it? Okay.

Hi. You all right? Hi, mate. How are you?

["Burning House" by Peter and The Roses]

♪ The good old days when things were better ♪

Whisky rocks, right?

Er, I prefer artisanal lemon drops, but this'll do.

Thank you.

-You did good. -Mm, we did good.

No, don't give me any credit for this

So, you having fun?

[chuckles softly]

Erm...

Since my parents split up,

that's the first thing my mum asks.

Like, it's the most important thing.

Am I having enough fun?

Okay. That's tricky.

So, is that why you moved around so much?

Yeah, maybe.

-So, are you? -Am I...?

-Having fun. -Yeah, I am.

Okay, then, why aren't you on the dance floor?

I love dancing. I love dancing.

Yeah, me, too.

Tonight's not about me. No.

And my one move just blows everyone away. It's really good.

Come on, give it to me.

Fine, we're doing this.

-Ready? -Mm-hmm.

["Burning House" continues]

[laughs]

-Pretty good, innit? -That's incredible.

I know. Told you. Listen, come here.

-I'll teach you. -Okay.

Come on, then.

But I'm so intimidated.

-Ah, yeah, I get that a lot. -Okay.

-We'll go this way first. -Okay.

[song fading]

[narrator] And then, he knew,

right there in the middle of the party,

that she felt what he felt.

There was something between them that could not be denied.

-["Burning House" continues] -Oh.

[inaudible]

[laughter]

Open it.

-What is it? -Come on, open it. Go on.

-Ooh, it's heavy. -Yeah.

[Jack] Hazelnut coffee.

Now, you have no reason to meet other girls in coffee shops.

-Like it? -I love it.

-You like it? -I love it.

[narrator] As Johnny watched them,

the truth smashed him right in the gut.

The easiest person to lie to is yourself.

He'd been misreading signals.

He'd been projecting his own desires.

He was a complete arsehole.

-All right? -Aw.

Oh yeah, that's the look of a woman in love.

I really like her for him.

When he looks at her, it's like he drops his whole Jack persona.

He's just...

-He's what? -Mm.

Human.

It's gonna happen for you, as well.

-Thanks. -Mm. Yeah.

[song ends]

[groans softly]

[Jack] Yeah, I hear you, but my... my client

won't go for it.

[snaps fingers]

Yes.

All right.

Sure.

[narrator] In that moment, Jillian found herself

deeply delighted by the simple things

Jack did for her.

Stability can be surprisingly attractive

for those blown where the wind takes them.

[high-tempo music playing]

[Johnny] Does Jillian know you do this?

Way too soon, bruv. Not a good look, is it?

It's been months, mate. Does she know you say "bruv"?

Bruv. Think she'll keep me around

as long as she never finds out.

Ah, so you wanna keep her around.

I guess.

[instructor on TV] Okay, guys, that was great.

I turned off my dating apps. Tinder, Bumble. Even Raya.

Bruv.

That's big. It's personal growth.

I'm firmly against personal growth.

You know, the strange thing is all the brain energy

I suddenly have.

Like, what do I do now that I'm not focusing on girls?

Plus, what do we talk about?

I had no crazy adventures last night.

You're in some kind of faux celibacy,

about to be a dad thing, which is... boring.

And I can't be like, "Hey, me and Jillian

did this wild sex thing last night."

Because she's my girlfriend, and that would be weird

talking about that.

So, you're saying you're having a Madonna-whore complex?

[laughs] Absolutely, yeah.

No.

There's no question involved.

So, the... the story's not good.

I spent a lot of years getting good at being single.

How's Brooke?

Pregnant,

and I'm getting a little freaked out about it.

I'm gonna be a dad, and I work in a bookshop.

Makes sense.

Have you ever thought about trying something different...

and something practical?

I mean, you could do well at anything, mate. Why...

Why struggle like this?

The struggle's part of it.

It's not much of a life if it's just a struggle, is it?

Listen,

I didn't give you shit for giving up writing

and choosing to make money, so don't give me shit for not.

Sorry.

It's just, you're having a baby.

Er, Brooke has got a great job.

Diana said I can have some shifts at her bar,

if need be. It's gonna be fine.

I forgot my... Wow! [laughs]

Do you guys need a second to finish each other off?

-We're working-- -No. No, I really...

I don't wanna know.

I just needed to get my bag. [giggles]

It was really good to see you, Johnny.

-Good to see you, too. -Carry on.

-[door closes] -She's got a key.

Yeah.

I thought I was the only one with a key.

No. [chuckles]

[Johnny] Serious.

♪ So, go give a little bit more ♪

♪ I been trying to cool down ♪

♪I keep giving in for the best I ever had... ♪

-[Brooke] Thank you. -Ah, thank you.

This is almost as good as opening presents.

-[doorbell rings] -[Johnny] I'll get it.

-[women] Aw! -[overlapping chatter]

-Thank you. -[laughter]

It's so me.

Oh, thank God you guys are here.

-Only for you, Johnny. -What, did you work late?

-I wouldn't call it work. -[Jack] Ricksty Dave.

The man, the myth, the rugby shirt.

-What, he's not coming? -Stop teasing her.

Rugby shirts can be...

-Hey. -...very cool.

Yeah, unfortunately, that's not true.

Yeah, they're cool if you're actually playing.

Johnny, I need a coffee and a Bloody Maria, stat!

Okay. Er, can I have a show of hands

for who else wants another mimosa?

-[women] Yes, please! -[Johnny] Two, three, four.

-[laughter] -I'll help.

[indistinct chatter]

Come on, Jack.

Let's go and make nice and then hide in a corner

and gossip about what a surprisingly

filthy animal my boyfriend is.

Great spot.

Yeah, we're planning on changing the second bedroom

into the baby's room.

We?

Yeah. So, the plan is for me to crash here

first few months until we hit a bit of a rhythm,

and then, we'll kind of figure it out from there.

I'm glad you're keeping your place.

I love your place.

♪ A love as big as the ocean, yeah ♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪ I feel it ♪

♪ From the bottom of my heart, yeah ♪

[song ends]

-All right? -Yeah. You mind if I bum one?

-No, not at all. -Thanks.

-Here you go. -Mm.

[chuckles]

Thanks. Great.

Jack says he has a hypnotist that will help me...

-Oh. -...break the habit.

Yeah. He's been trying to get me to see him for years, but--

-Yeah? -Now I'm gonna be a dad,

-I might. -You might need it more.

-Yeah. -[chuckles]

-So, you excited? -Yeah, I am.

I can't imagine.

Actually, I can, and it's terrifying,

for me, at least.

Yeah, that's a...

that's a... that's a... that's a more

-accurate description, I think. -Mm.

I always thought I'd...

I'd fall madly in love with someone

and travel the world with them.

Finish my second novel,

and then maybe have a kid or two, but...

Best laid plans.

[softly] Yeah.

Hey,

curveballs can be good.

-What was that? -What was what?

I don't know. I wasn't...

Okay, that's not true. I do know what that was. Erm...

[clears throat]

[sighs]

I can't stop thinking about you.

What?

To a problematic degree.

Johnny, you're just nervous about the baby.

It's got nothing to do with that.

It's been since moment one.

I don't cheat. I love him.

Shit.

I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Please, don't--

Oh, right, don't leave me alone with that oestrogen

-ever again, please. -You had Diana.

She's a girl.

Er, don't lump me in with those monsters.

What are you guys talking about?

Curveballs.

Mate, it's gonna be fine.

Thanks, man.

[narrator] Johnny had a pain in his gut for days.

The magnitude of his mistake of admission tortured him.

Not only was it the grossest breach

of his closest friendship, but it was also clear to him

that Jillian didn't share his feelings.

Johnny lived in fear that she would tell Jack.

[Johnny] Shit.

-Hey, man. -You all right?

What's up?

Ah, you know, doin' the thing. You?

Good. Doin' the thing.

So, erm, well,

right to it, then.

Erm...

I was talking to Jillian earlier.

Okay.

And, er, shit, I'm not sure how to handle this.

I, erm...

I actually told her I love her.

Yeah, it just sort of came out, but it felt really good,

and she said it back.

But now, it feels like I'm meant to ask her to move in with me,

and I'm not sure how I... how I feel about that.

It's a lot.

And what do you think?

Er...

Breaks aren't sexy.

Listen, mate, regardless...

this is fucking great.

You're opening up. It's personal growth.

Oh, fuck personal growth, mate. I love personal growth.

Anyway, that's it.

[chuckles] Thought I'd let you know.

Good chat.

All right.

Oh, erm, I'm off to a conference in Birmingham tomorrow.

I fucking hate Birmingham.

There is no reason for a Londoner

ever to be in Birmingham.

But if you want a writer's retreat or whatever,

get the energy moving, my spot's open.

Oh, appreciate it, man. Thank you.

Yeah, all right.

I think I'll just wait on the whole move-in thing

until it feels right. Good plan?

Good plan.

[phone ringing]

I have to answer this. Come by whenever, yeah?

-Thank you. -Oh!

I'm on lavender essential oil now.

Very relaxing.

Right.

[narrator] Jillian hadn't said anything.

His friendship was still intact.

He determined never to do

anything to jeopardise it again.

[exhales softly] Fucking hell.

[narrator] For her part,

Jillian decided it wouldn't help anyone

to tell Jack about the incident.

It would damage his and Johnny's friendship.

She chalked it up to Johnny having a moment.

[Wheels] You made the right decision.

People fuck up,

and people do not need to know everything.

It only causes pain.

I got to tell you something.

Oh, no. They offered it to you.

It's not a step up, you know. You'll be sick of it

within a month.

Running a yoga studio in Bali?

I don't think I'd ever get sick of it.

I turned it down.

Why?

I've just recently started to feel...

I don't know. I don't wanna end up at 40

with nothing more than just a bunch of stamps

in my passport.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Wait.

No. Are you gonna marry Jack?

-Way, way too soon. -Good. Yeah, don't get married.

Marriage ruined gay culture. The whole point

was that we didn't have to be like the straights.

We were free,

and now, everyone has to get married,

or you're not advancing the cause.

-You're married to Jason. -Yeah. Yeah.

Best decision of my life.

♪ Lately I've been finding ways to silence my mind ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ The Alps and Himalayas ain't got nothing ♪

♪ On the mountains I've climbed ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ You and I once Mother Nature came to say-- ♪

[silence]

[exhales]

[softly] Fuck.

["Forever, With You" by Paradise Blossom]

♪ Every time you look away ♪

♪ I don't wanna be afraid ♪

♪ I don't wanna be afraid ♪

♪ Every time you look away ♪

♪ I don't wanna be afraid ♪

♪ I don't wanna be afraid ♪

-[Brooke] Johnny? -I'm in here.

What are you doing here on a Sunday?

I couldn't sleep.

This is actually a way harder than it looks,

but I'm gonna... I'm gonna figure it out.

Do you need help?

Yeah. Why don't you... I made you one of those

weird smoothies that you like.

So, just hit the button on the blender

and relax.

I've got this.

Okay.

All right.

Okay, that looks right.

["Work That" by Jay Butter]

-[Brooke] A bit muggy, isn't it? -Huh?

A bit muggy.

[Brooke laughs] That'll fool 'em.

Johnny's been really helpful.

He's been helping out round the house.

-That's nice. -He's been fixing things.

Yeah, I just didn't really need to come home

to full-volume porn coming from the baby's room.

Listen, I'd been painting for hours

and needed a little break, you know.

-The moment took me. -[laughter]

We're not together. It's not cheating.

Obviously. What, you think porn is cheating?

-No. -[Jillian] No.

But what... what is the line?

What if you wanted to kiss someone but didn't?

Oh, you're talking about emotional cheating?

That's a thing, and it happened to me, and it was horrible.

I wish he'd have gone out and gotten drunk,

and just gotten a blowjob off some random girl.

-[Johnny] What? -Honestly.

But if nothing physical happened,

how can you create that rule?

I mean, you can't say

people can't connect.

That's too hard a line to draw.

Yeah. Okay, fair.

A twist on it.

What if, say...

you can see into someone's window,

and they're, like, naked or something,

and you keep watching, and then you do your thing.

-Cheating? -That's creeping.

Different category.

-[Jillian] Mm. -And there's no interaction.

Unless the person knows you're looking.

Well, then, yeah, it's cheating.

I think that's the line.

If there's a real, actual person that you're interacting with,

-then it's cheating. -[Jack] Right.

I think you have to say porn performers

are actual people, bruv.

[Jillian] No, but that's fantasy.

It's not real-life interaction.

-Exactly. -[Jillian] Yeah.

Anyway, just, er, it wasn't my favourite thing

to just walk in on, you know.

Not that it wasn't very impressive, babe.

It was a cat video, I swear.

-That's worse. -[laughter]

[upbeat music playing]

[Brooke] Okay.

[Johnny] Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I have... I've actually hit a wall.

I've called an Uber, and I think it's here.

-[Jillian] Oh, sneaky. -[chuckles]

All right, I'll take you home, I'll take you home.

-Guys, it's been-- -No, no, you're not done.

Stay with the team. If you don't mind a third wheel.

Brooke, I don't mind. Seriously, I don't...

[Brooke] No, listen to me. You need a night out.

You've been smashing the dad-to-be thing,

and I'm not letting you come home.

-Hey, A! -[man] How you doing?

[Brooke] Erm, good. So you have fun.

Erm, I'm gonna go watch cat videos.

-See you later. -Ha! Very funny.

["Literary Mind" by Sprints]

♪ She's got a literary mind and a literary look ♪

♪ She's got a literary hand and it's literally shook ♪

♪ From the confines of a page to the vastness of a book ♪

♪ She's a killer, she's a thriller ♪

♪ She's a halfwit and a crook ♪

[song fades]

Right, I'm shooting off. I'm getting out of here.

[Jack] No, you're not. We need your expertise, mate.

Frozen pizza. You're the pizza guy.

Yeah, you can't leave.

All right. Twist my arm, twist my arm. I'll do it.

-[Jack] Johnny. -Yeah.

I can see into Jillian's apartment

-from here. -Yeah, I know.

What?

You told me.

-I did? -Yeah.

Wow. I am drunk.

I'm borderline not cu... [laughs] cute drunk.

-I'm gonna crash. I have to. -No, no.

No, I don't... I don't think you're allowed to.

Why?

[Jack] I am. I'm in bad shape.

Where are you going?

We got pizza in like 20 minutes. It'll be ready soon.

Wake me up for it.

[door closes]

Shit.

[clears throat]

[oven bell dings]

[soft whistling]

[door closes]

Where do you think you're going?

I didn't think you were coming back.

I'm not tired yet.

Ooh, and I'm starving. Wanna turn the oven back on?

[chuckles] He was out.

I had to take his shoes off and everything.

Lightweight.

I think he was just really excited

to hang out with you tonight.

-You want a drink? -Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Thanks.

[clears throat]

[Jillian] Mm...

Vodka soda?

-Yep. -Okay.

[plastic bag rustles]

Nice.

[Jillian] All right.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

[Jillian chuckles]

So, how are girls?

There aren't any.

-We're not gonna do this. -I know.

[breathes heavily, moans]

[phone chimes]

Tim, I'm working on a new storyline for... for a book.

I'm listening.

Erm...

Hypothetically,

in the book, er...

the love of your life

is dating another guy and that other guy

happens to be your best friend, what do you do?

Kill him.

Okay.

Any other questions?

No, it's okay.

I'm going for lunch.

-It's 10:30. -Yup.

We need to talk.

I can barely remember last night.

Listen, we were hammered. Don't--

That's... that's the only reason why it happened.

Yeah, definitely.

We're just friends. That's it. It was a drunken mistake.

Totally.

I don't even think we should even mention it to...

Yeah, and it's never going to happen again.

Never.

Yeah.

Okay.

["Get To Know Me" by REAVE]

[narrator] Johnny rationalised he had no choice.

He had to see,

because this was bigger than him,

and Jack would eventually go back to being Jack.

He knew it wasn't right on a human level,

but on a soul level,

she was everything he'd ever wanted.

♪ There's something so mysterious ♪

♪ In how you hold your gaze ♪

♪ Makes me wanna get close to you ♪

♪ To your embrace ♪

♪ I wonder if you feel it too, or is it just me? ♪

♪ There's so much more to you I wanna get to see ♪

♪ Oh, sometimes you can just tell... ♪

[Johnny] Hello.

[narrator] They never talked about Jack.

Only existing with each other.

To look at it in the light would be too much.

[indistinct dialogue]

♪ Can we keep it personal? ♪

♪ Can we keep it close? ♪

♪ I wanna feel close to you, baby ♪

♪ I wanna get to know you ♪

♪ You tell me all your secrets ♪

♪ I'll tell you all my dreams ♪

♪ I wanna get to know you ♪

♪ Do you wanna get to know me? ♪

♪ Can we keep it personal? ♪

♪ Can we keep it close? ♪

♪ I wanna feel close to you, baby ♪

♪ I wanna get to know you ♪

♪ You tell me all your secrets I'll tell you all my dreams ♪

♪ I wanna get to know you ♪

♪ Do you wanna get to know me? ♪

I think I'm in love with two people.

I've never been in love with less than two people.

Can you make it a throuple?

This is hard for me.

Okay, that won't work, unless they're bi.

Are they bi?

Okay. That won't work.

The throuple I was in, everyone just fucked everyone.

I feel terrible.

Okay.

Look...

here's the actual question:

Who do you like yourself better around?

There's no better.

There's just different.

Saying no to a life, and you wanna say yes to both.

I do not miss that.

[upbeat music playing]

-[Jack] Can I ask you something? -Yeah, what's up?

Jillian.

[instructor on TV] See you guys tomorrow.

Stay 100--

I haven't been in a relationship in so long,

but the sex is changing.

How do you mean?

Well...

When we started, it was good. It was consistent.

-Now... -It's less, yeah?

That happens. Post... post-honeymoon stuff.

No, it's not that.

We're actually having more sex now, and it's amazing.

Really connected. Like way wilder.

Everything's on the table.

-Really? -Everything.

Is that normal?

Er...

I mean, yeah, it can be. Have you... have you asked her

what's going on?

No.

No, I... I think it's just going deeper has... has opened

things up to a whole other level.

Which is weird, because I never actually thought that happened.

Especially not for me.

I love that for you, mate.

Cheers.

[narrator] It had reached a breaking point,

as these things must,

and Johnny loved his friend too much to continue.

He knew he had to end it.

["Above Ground" by Stacks]

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say ♪

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say the time is right ♪

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say ♪

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say the time is right ♪

♪ To someone ♪

♪ Imagine... ♪

[doorbell buzzing]

[Jillian] What are you doing?

He's still home.

Go in and close the curtains.

I... I never do that.

It's our thing.

We can't keep doing this.

You with both of us. I can't take it anymore.

I know.

Me, neither.

-Okay. -Listen, I was...

I was all set to walk away, not even ten minutes ago,

when I texted you.

And then I saw this old couple.

Look...

in the end, it's just you and the person you love.

That's it. That's all that matters.

Fuck.

You were the last person that I wish it was,

but I know.

I know.

Jillian, I'm totally in love with you.

And I need to know if you feel the same.

-Johnny-- -No, no, "Johnny."

Do you love me?

[phone chimes]

-Your phone. You should-- -Fuck my phone. Do you love me?

Yes.

["Above Ground" playing]

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say... ♪

[phone chiming]

[phone continues chiming]

I think you should check that now.

[both chuckling softly]

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say ♪

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say the time is right ♪

I'm having a baby.

♪ To someone ♪

We're not doing this.

I know.

[narrator] And that was that.

In the months to come,

Johnny was tossed into the all-encompassing

sea of baby.

He put aside his feelings for Jillian

as an infatuation caused by the fear

of impending fatherhood.

Jillian hurled herself back into Jack,

realising her affair was driven by her fear of being trapped

in one place.

Moving past that,

their relationship became everything it had been.

And more.

It was as if Johnny had never happened.

-I think I'm gonna take a bath. -Okay. Sounds nice.

Do you wanna take a bath?

Yeah.

-Yeah. -Good.

She looks like you when she's sleeping.

-Does she? -Yeah, after a--

-Do you watch me when I sleep? -After a few...

after a few drinks.

-How come I've got the pink one? -Do you wanna swap?

[soft music playing]

[Jillian] Mm!

God, I needed that.

Yeah, me, too.

A year is way too long to not have sex.

Hey, that was your call.

We could've been doing this whole time.

Okay. Yeah, my bad. I take full responsibility.

I think we've made a terrible mistake.

-What? -No, not... no, not the sex.

This.

This was right in front of us the whole time.

And I always thought it was about this bolt of lightning,

but I was wrong. I've...

I've always been the kind of guy

who decides his grass is never... never green enough.

But what I really needed was something that could...

hold me in place. I mean,

something that I could grow into,

because that's the only way that you can get deeper.

I mean, you and me, Olivia.

This just feels right. Doesn't this just feel right?

I think we should just get back together.

Okay. Right.

You're a dreamer, right?

And there's nothing wrong with it.

It's actually what I really loved about you

when we dated.

But, like, the person that I am now,

like I'm a mum, and I just...

it's, I don't feel like it's for me anymore.

There's nothing wrong with it.

It's just not for me.

Is that okay?

Completely. Listen, I'm...

I totally understand not settling for someone

who isn't quite right.

[narrator] Jack and Johnny still linked up

for the occasional workout session,

but for the most part,

their lives had naturally drifted,

as friends' lives do when one has a child

and the other does not.

[Jack] Wow.

Johnny chooses Uber Exec? I'm proud of you, mate.

Come on, man, it's your birthday,

and I know you're allergic to anything less.

Yeah.

Jillian's got a couple of single friends coming.

-Oh yeah? -Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you're not gonna like him.

Seriously, though, I'm glad you made it out.

It's been too long since we've done the thing.

Come on, man, I wouldn't miss it.

-You ready to do the thing? -Let's do the thing.

♪ Say it ain't so, say it ain't so ♪

-Rick Steve Dave. -Johnny.

♪ No you can't stop them kids to grow ♪

[indistinct]

♪ I know you're scared to find yourself alone ♪

Right, I'm gonna grab us some more drinks, then.

No, no, no, no. You sit down. It's your birthday.

-I'll go. -No, no, no.

Mm...

Chances of him coming back quickly are slim.

So many friends to say hi to.

-Some things never change. -Yeah.

How've you been?

Good.

Good, really good. Yeah. You?

Yeah, good. Baby thing's fucking crazy, but...

Yeah, I think... I think as we get older,

we kind of lose our sense of wonder a bit.

But having a kid, I've kind of rediscovered the magic

in the littlest things.

-Mm. -So, like, the colour blue

is amazing now.

Yeah, it's really inspired the writing, too. It's...

I love that.

I used to have a different muse.

-Oh yeah? -Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Bill the dog.

Used to really inspire me.

But he's been supplanted now.

-There you go, my love. -Thanks. Cheers.

[both chuckle]

You seem really happy.

-I am. Yeah. -Good.

-Good. I'm glad to hear it. -Thank you.

[narrator] But sitting next to her, he knew,

no matter what he tried to tell himself,

he was in love with her,

even though he'd never act on it again.

[Jillian] Hey, babe.

Fuck.

[Johnny] What, what's up?

Fuck.

Are you okay?

I know you both too well.

What are you talking about?

[scoffs]

How long?

Mate, what are you talking about?

You guys are fucking each other. How long?

That is crazy.

-We're not fucking. -Don't fucking lie.

Please.

It happened once,

a long time ago.

We were wasted.

I was... I was freaking out. I was freaking about the kid.

-It was stupid. -And we said never again.

Well, clearly that didn't stick, did it?

It's been over for a long time.

Did he have you read his short story?

Let me guess, you loved it.

He loves a girl who loves his work.

-Jack, listen-- -Fuck off, Johnny.

Fuck off.

-Jack, I don't-- -Wait. Hang on.

Wha... When?

It was the night we had dinner when Brooke left early.

That's when you consummated. When did it start?

When did you know that you wanted him?

I didn't.

I didn't. It just happened.

These things don't just happen.

There's a point. You sense it.

You can either walk towards it or walk away from it.

And I walked away from it.

I did.

Until you didn't.

The gravitational pull of "I'm not supposed to."

So, all this then, between us, isn't--

No.

It is.

I love you.

And I'm so sorry.

We can... we can talk about this.

Let's just talk about this.

You just... you need to tell me,

tell me what I need to do to make it better.

I don't think I can...

I don't...

We're done.

Oh...

-Just hit me. -Fuck off.

I'm so sorry. It just happened. It was like a lightning bolt.

Like a lightning bolt?

Remember when you two first met?

Something in you knew that she and I...

You told me she was my perfect match.

Sorry, so... so this is my fault?

Jack, that's not what I mean. That's not--

I came to you for fucking help with my relationship.

You were my confidante, my best friend,

and you were fucking her behind my back.

[scoffs]

Do you know what the sad thing is?

Is that in a month, or three, or six, you'll wake up one day

and you'll decide whoever you're with

isn't your soulmate. And you'll move on.

Well, you won't have me to come fucking crying to.

Jack.

Jack?

[sombre music playing]

-[ringing] -[Jack sighs]

[phone continues ringing]

[curtain rustles]

[scoffs]

Jack!

-[upbeat music playing] -[inaudible dialogue]

[Jack smooches]

[crying softly]

-Hey, are you okay? -Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

Okay.

-Are you crying? -No. No.

Allergies.

All of a sudden, I start crying.

Don't laugh.

Don't laugh.

I'm really fucked up.

Just sounds like you're a person.

She's the one I feel sorry for.

She didn't do anything to deserve

-a weeping one-night stand. -[laughs]

Go cry in the bathroom like every other girl.

You just might not be a "doin' the thing"

kind of guy anymore.

Yeah, maybe not.

God, Johnny would be on the floor over this one.

Yeah, well, he's a piece of shit.

-Who you're still friends with. -I'm Switzerland.

Just remember, all relationships end badly.

Except for one.

And eventually even that one ends badly, so... [laughs]

How are you and Rick Steve Dave?

I think we're gonna get married.

-Switzerland. -Switzerland.

[pensive music playing]

Fucking burn the boats.

-Burn the fucking boats. -[drink pouring]

Just fucking get to work.

Just get to fucking work, yeah?

[keyboard clanking]

-[inhales deeply] -[keyboard clanking]

[narrator] Jillian had lied to herself

to absolve herself of her deeply buried intentions,

the way we do when we want things

we don't want to want.

She realised Jack was right.

She hadn't walked away from it.

She'd walked towards it.

-Hi. -Hi.

[narrator] And with nothing standing between them,

Johnny fell totally into Jillian.

And she into him.

I'm just happy.

I'm really happy.

You know what that's like?

I'm reading here, man.

[narrator] And Jillian was happy, too.

Often deliriously so.

In Johnny, she'd found a poetry she hadn't known.

Hey!

[narrator] Johnny had lost his best friend.

He missed him terribly.

But he got what he always wanted.

And for him, that was worth it.

He really was who he said he was.

[indistinct chatter]

I heard it's fire.

Gonna try and get him to do a reading.

[soft music playing]

[sniffles]

[Johnny] Here's a big one, here's a big one.

-[Brooke] Oh, yes. -There you go.

Be good.

Thank you.

Ready?

[soft music continues]

[breathes deeply]

[door opens]

-Hi, babe. -Hi.

[Jillian] So, Wheels was right.

They are opening up that new place,

and he said he'd push them if I wanted the job.

But I... I told him I could never leave him.

-You all right? -Hmm?

Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm just... I'm just in it.

You wanna talk about it? Whatever... whatever it is?

Nothing's... nothing's wrong. There's nothing.

I'm... I'm fine. I'm just... I'm just in it.

Just let me do my thing.

Okay.

Jack wrote a book.

Okay.

It got published.

-That's great. -Yeah, it's great reviews.

That's fantastic.

[splutters] Yeah, it is...

It's crazy.

I... I read it, and it's...

it's good.

It's really fucking good.

You knew.

Did you read it?

Mm-hmm.

Well, what did you think?

Yeah.

It's nuts, and you're right, it...

it is really good.

Babe...

he wrote a novel.

He didn't write your novel.

You're right. [clears throat]

You're right, you're right. You're totally right.

-Are you hungry? -Mm. Yeah.

I'm hungry.

Mm. So...

I've officially closed Summit,

and they're gonna rent out the whole hotel, which is crazy.

Corporate's loving me.

It's gonna be a couple of very late nights,

but you have to come 'cause it's actually gonna be

really cool.

-More wine? -Oh, yeah, please.

Okay.

[Johnny clears throat]

So, why didn't... why didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me that you read his book?

[sighs] I don't know.

-Did he send it to you? -No.

No, I haven't spoken to him since... you know.

Johnny, I love you.

Ah, but you fell in love with me

because of the story that I wrote.

No.

I fell in love with you.

That story was from years ago.

I love the person I'm with now.

The writing stuff doesn't matter to me.

Well, it matters to me.

If you don't get that, you don't get me.

I do get you.

You're a romantic, with me

and the way that you see the world.

No, I'm a writer. That is who I am.

I don't think that's what defines you.

You can't understand

because you've never done anything you've cared about.

I thought you're not what you do.

Of course, you are.

Well, then I'm sorry, but there is no writer Johnny.

Oh, fuck you.

You're as much a writer as I am a photographer.

You just like the idea of being one.

[scoffs]

This isn't working.

I can't do this anymore.

Yeah? Why?

I need to focus on finishing my book.

Mm.

Mm.

You could stop me.

Right.

[chuckles softly] You know, Jack...

Jack did all the right things.

You say all the right things.

I didn't realise he was saying them, too, just differently.

You know your novel?

You've been on the same page since I've known you.

And I didn't even care.

["Above Ground" by Stacks]

[door closes]

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say ♪

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say the time is right ♪

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say ♪

♪ Tell me you wait for me to say the time is right ♪

♪ To someone ♪

[hip-hop music playing on stereo]

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

-All right, mate. -All right, good to see you.

How are you?

[women laughing]

You could still go after her.

It's been three months.

It's not actually that long,

if you two are supposed to be together.

Ah, she just wasn't the one.

You're mad at her...

for accepting you for who you are,

because it's not how you wanna be seen.

How's Jack? [clears throat]

Listen, you know, if we'd ended up getting married,

he'd have to...

It's more understandable.

Although that's kind of bullshit, too.

You'd still be an arsehole.

-I was clumsy. -No.

You were careless.

It's different.

I'm not a bad guy.

You're not, on the inside.

[sighs]

[sighs] I've really fucked it up, haven't I?

Yep.

[Tim] Perfect.

-Thank you so much for coming. -[Jack] Thanks, Tim.

Erm, all right,

I'll jump into the first chapter.

"This is the story of Jillian.

It's also the story of Jack, and it's the story of Johnny.

Johnny was an aspiring writer.

When one of his short stories was printed

in a prestigious magazine,

multiple publishers became interested

in his first novel,

and so, he'd started writing it.

In the meantime, he paid the bills

by working at an independent bookshop.

Struggling didn't bother him, because he knew

he'd found his calling,

and he knew his book was gonna be great.

A serial monogamist with a flair for the romantic,

he moved from quick infatuations to devastating realisations

that each woman wasn't 'the one.'

And Johnny could not stop for anyone but 'the one,'

for what was the point of life if not deep, true love?"

Jack.

Hey.

-How's it going? -Good.

Yeah, doing the thing.

You?

Yeah, doing the thing.

Doing the thing, erm...

-I love the book. -Oh, great. Thanks. Yeah.

Thanks for not making me horrible in it.

Well...

it is a novel, loosely based.

Er, how's the... how's the writing?

Yeah, it's... it's coming along.

Er, Jillian?

Didn't work out. Er, she moved.

Last I heard, she was running some boutique hotel in Portugal.

Yeah. Onto her next adventure.

Makes sense.

Erm...

Listen, it was great seeing you. I... I've got to run, but--

Yeah, cool, mate. It was brilliant to see you.

Yeah.

Jack, I'm... I'm...

I'm really sorry about all of it. I...

I really regret it.

I regret losing you in my life.

I appreciate you saying that.

Can I ask you an honest question?

And you have to give me an honest answer.

Go on.

If you were in my situation,

and you had all the feelings that I had,

what would you have done?

[gentle music playing]

Hey, Jack, what are... what are you doing tonight?

You wanna...

you wanna go to Diana's and get a drink?

Why?

["When We Were Young" by Le Cat]

♪ When we were young ♪

[narrator] Jack watched for a moment more

and then turned his eyes to the road

and his life ahead.

Just because it ends,

doesn't mean it wasn't beautiful.

Just because it's messy doesn't mean you didn't grow.

The end of one chapter is the beginning of the next.

And good stories go forward.

♪ When we were young ♪

♪ When we were young ♪

["Falling Deep" by HLWA]

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ All your secrets I can't keep ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ All your secrets I can't keep ♪

♪ Just just let this be ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ All your secrets I can't keep ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ I might be falling deep ♪

♪ I need you close to me ♪

♪ All your secrets I can't keep ♪