Original subtitles

[birds chirping]

[bell dings]

Heigh-ho!

This is Kermit the Frog, and I'm here to tell you

the story about Emmet Otter's... ee!

Ahh!

Ooh, that's uh, Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas.

Whoo, uh, it's a good thing I didn't damage the sign, here.

Uh, you'll notice that it points the way

to Frogtown Hollow.

Ah, that's where Emmet and his mom live.

[distant cheering]

Somebody's coming.

-Yeah!! -Ahhh!!

Oh, look, it's a frog.

Nah, that's a toad!

Frog's ain't that ugly, right, Chuck?

Now, wait a second, you guys...

Hey, Chuck-o, you see anything you like?

How about the scarf?

You-u-u got it!

-Hey -[all screaming]

-Whoo-hoo!! -Ha, ha, ha!

Uh, that was a bunch known as the Riverbottom gang.

And, uh, unfortunately, you're going to be seeing

more of them, too.

Because, like Ma and Emmet,

they're all part of Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas .

♪ Long, long ago, there lived a lady ♪

♪ Simple but elegant as any on the shore ♪

♪ She was known for her generous silhouette ♪

♪ And ye-e-et ♪

♪ She was known even more for ♪

♪ The bathing suit she wore ♪

♪ Once a pirate tried to steal it ♪

♪ It was rumored he was gonna use it ♪

♪ For a pirate sail ♪

♪ And innocent of such an act he cried ♪

♪ The fact is that's a perfect diaper ♪

♪ For a baby whale ♪

♪ Sweet Grandma's eyes ♪

♪ How they could charm you ♪

♪ Five generations of loving friends she made ♪

♪ All the children enjoyed her ♪

♪ In many ways somedays ♪

♪ When the sun was a scorcher ♪

♪ Grandma Otter was their shade ♪

♪ Even so it was her bathing suit ♪

♪ That made her famous it was almost ♪

♪ Heaven-sent ♪

♪ Many times when it was drying on the line ♪

♪ A tourist would mistake it for a circus tent ♪

Oh, hi, Emmet!

I'm fishing! What are you doing?

Delivering laundry! And going to Waterville.

See you, Wendell!

♪ Now she has gone ♪

♪ Now she has left us ♪

♪ Left with sweet memories ♪

♪ And left with something more ♪

♪ We've made curtains ♪

♪ And handkerchiefs ♪

♪ And clothing for the poor ♪

♪ From the one bathing suit that your Grandma Otter wore ♪

♪ From the one bathing suit ♪

♪ That your Grandma Otter wore ♪

Say, Ma, that sounded pretty nice!

Nice? I should say it did, Emmet.

Why, you can hear the fish applauding.

Oh, I think you're right.

Maybe I should pass the hat.

Pa used to say, "If you pass the hat to fish,

all you get is a wet hat."

Still, I suppose the fish

have just about as much money as any of us this year.

Couldn't have much less.

-Ma? -Hmm?

What are we gonna do about Christmas this year?

Oh, better lean into that starboard oar.

There's old Gretchen Fox on her dock,

waiting for her laundry. Ooh!

She looks friendly as a polecat today.

Well, it's about time you got here!

Same time we always get here.

Yes, you're late every week!

And last week, when I opened the laundry parcel,

there was a scorch mark on one of the sheets.

Oh, well maybe I can knock off a little bit on the price.

You certainly shall.

Remind me of that when I pay you next week.

Ta.

Well, I got the bill right h-here,

and since it's three days till Christmas,

I'd really appreciate it if--

...you'd fall off the dock.

[chuckles] Way to go, Ma.

Yeah, well, sometimes you gotta talk tough to these people.

Yep, that's telling her, Alice.

Morning, Will Possum.

-Morning. -I didn't see you sitting there.

Well, that's okay, Alice.

Listen, you got anything to barter with today?

Oh, glad you asked!

Just knitted up a fine pair of wool socks.

Great. I got a few big, old pumpkins.

Pumpkins, huh?

I could make 'em into pies and sell 'em at a profit.

Well, they're in the garden, right over here.

[ducks quack]

Can you make much money on those pumpkin pies, Ma?

Oh, about enough to buy wool

for another pair of socks, I guess.

Good thinkin', Ma!

Now you can knit more socks

to buy more pumpkins to sell more pies

to buy more wool to--

[laughing] Oh, all right! All right!

Lean into those oars,

or we'll never get to Waterville.

[crash]

Ahh!

Hey, what'd you do that for?

-Ahh! Ahh! -Hey boss,

me and Chuck's going to lunch,

we don't wanna stop, right, Chuck?

Ah, neck!

Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Yeah, there's a music store over there,

and Snake needs a new string for his guitar.

Mm-hmm.

Get off my shoulder.

Ah-ahh, I'm going, I'm going.

Jeez, a fellow should be grateful he's got shoulders!

Come on, guys! Let's go in the store.

Are you crazy?

Me and Chuck don't wanna go to no dumb music store.

Ah, no, no, I didn't think so.

I'd like to.

-Oh, yeah! -Yeah, why not?!

I'll stay here. It's too dry in there.

Hey, you, you young ragscamps.

You just messed up my fruit stand.

Oh, so sorry.

[all shouting]

Sorry about that.

[Emmet] Is that all the errands we have to do?

[Ma] No, but it's the end of the money we have

to do 'em with!

Might as well head for the river then.

Wait, now, Emmet.

Didn't Sam Turtle pay you for fixing his steps yesterday?

Ah, no, I was the one who broke 'em.

Oh, Emmet, you with your odd jobs,

me with my socks and pumpkins,

no wonder we're so rich!

Aww, we'll make out.

You gotta have faith, Ma!

Oh, I got plenty of faith!

I spent all those years

married to a snake-oil salesman, didn't I?

Well, Pa shoulda got rich on snake oil but--

[both] There just aren't enough people who want to oil a snake!

[laughing]

Pa used to always say that when business was bad.

Yup, he said it a lot!

Wait now! Would ya look at that!

-What? -That swell guitar.

Mother-of-pearl inlays, too!

Now, Ma, that's what you can get me for Christmas!

[rock music plays]

Oh, sure, after all, it's only 40 dollars.

Say, what is that racket!?

-Oh! Ah! -No, no...!

Oh! Ah! I can't believe what's happening here in my store!

Who are they, Ma?

Beats me.

Hooligans is what they are!

Probably some of those Riverbottom boys!

[Mrs. Mink] Now see what you've done!

I want all of you out of here now!

-Ahh!! -Yeah!!

Here you go. It ain't even hurt.

They didn't want these things to roll,

they should have made 'em square.

-Hey! -Ha-ha!

Yeah, Chuck?

I'm hungry.

Hey, everybody, Chuck's hungry!

No, I'm not hungry,

I'm hu-u-u-ngry!!!

-Check, Chuck. -Now!!

-Let's go! -Yeah, yeah.

-Ahh! -Whoo-hoo!!

[ducks quacking]

Ooh, getting colder every day now.

Be walking the river soon.

And skating on it.

Got to expect cold weather.

Just a few days before Christmas.

Don't talk about Christmas all the time.

There's no point, is there?

We don't have enough for regular days.

Sorry.

I remember the last Christmas before Pa died.

Oh, Emmet.

I remember decorating the Christmas branch,

and Pa sang, and...

you played that old piano we had.

I remember, all right.

Selling that old piano was one of the saddest things

I ever had to do.

Seems like we sold just about everything,

last couple of years.

'Bout all I got left is a sense of humor and a washtub.

Well, at least there ain't no hole in the washtub.

Oh, there ain't no hole in the washtub.

That's what you call your basic "keeping warm

while you're rowing home" kinda song.

I'm rowing. Where's the singing?

♪ Head full of good thoughts, belly full of grub ♪

♪ Money in your pocket ♪

♪ When there ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

Sweet as honeysuckle on the vine, Ma.

♪ Your nails won't break, and your toes won't stub ♪

♪ You never get a fever ♪

♪ When there ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

♪ If you look to the good side, falling down's a free ride ♪

♪ Slippin' and a-slidin' in the mud ♪

♪ If your back is hurtin' I can say for certain ♪

♪ I'll be there to treat you to a soothin' back rub ♪

♪ When there ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

♪ Lunch with the upper crust dinner at the club ♪

♪ High on the hog ♪

♪ When there ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

♪ Watermelon gardens, berries on the shrub ♪

♪ Cookies in the kitchen ♪

♪ When there ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

Hey, Emmet! Look what I caught!

Ah, good catch, Wendell!

Yeah, they're really biting today!

♪ I'll be there to treat you to a soothing back rub ♪

♪ When there ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

There go two of the nicest folk on the river.

♪ If you look to the good side ♪

♪ Falling down's a free ride ♪

♪ Slippin' and a-slidin' in the mud! ♪

♪ Though it twists and contorts you ♪

♪ The barrel supports you ♪

♪ You can feed and clothe yourself ♪

♪ With a rub-a-dub-dub ♪

♪ When there ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

♪ Ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

♪ Ain't no hole in the washtub ♪

[birds chirping]

Ooh, boy, it's cold this morning!

Wow, the river's frozen up solid.

Boy, Ma'll be needing a mess of wood today.

[Wendell] Hey! Emmet! Emmet!!

Morning, Wendell.

Guess what?

Old lady possum'll give me 50 cents

if I mend her fence!

50 cents! Good deal.

Yeah, but I don't have any tools.

Oh, I've got the tools in Pa's old tool chest.

Hey, if you could help, maybe we could split the money.

Sure thing!

I'll be right with ya!

Good. Oh, let's see...

um, half of 50 cents, half of 50 cents...

Oh, morning Miss Muskrat.

Morning, Emmet.

Is your ma home?

She sure is.

Oh, let me get the door for you.

Oh, thank you.

Company, Ma!

Hetty! Come in, come in!

Oh, don't fuss, Alice.

I'm just here to use the spinning wheel

you keep borrowing from me.

Sit down.

Mercy! I don't even have water on for tea.

Goodness gracious.

Ma, me and Wendell got a job.

Real money this time! See ya.

Watch out for thin ice along the river bank.

Okay, bye, Ma!

Whoo! Can that boy move fast! Hmm.

Now, where'd I put that teapot?

Well, Emmet, are you going to enter?

Enter what?

The contest.

Oh, I don't know about any contest.

Golly, it's a talent contest,

at the town hall. On Christmas Eve.

No kiddin'?

And first prize is 50 dollars!

50 dollars?!

That's a lot of money, Hetty!

You sure you got that right?

50 dollars cash.

That's the prize!

Lotta money!

I thought you might be interested, Alice.

You do have a mighty fine singin' voice.

Hmm? Anybody'd be interested in 50 dollars!

Hey, why don't you enter, Emmet?

You're a good singer!

Are you kidding?

I couldn't get up there and sing all by myself,

it'd be embarrassing!

-Hi, Harvey! Hi, Charlie! -Hi, Charlie.

-Hi, Harvey. -Hey, Emmet! Wendell!

Hey listen,

you two are just who we've been looking for!

You bet!

Oh, yeah? What's up, Harvey?

Well, you know about the Waterville talent contest?

Sure, everybody's heard of that! Right, Emmet?

Well, you see, Charlie and me were just talking

about what we should do is organize a jug-band!

Yeah, wouldn't that be swell?

Mm-hmm. See I play kazoo and washboard,

and Charlie here plays a good cigar-box banjo.

I really do! Ah, my Ma says.

Mm-hmm. So all's we need is a couple of other guys

to fill out the band.

Wait, how come us?

Well, you see, you can blow a jug, Wendell.

Yeah!

Hey, this is a good idea, Emmet!

Maybe. What would I play?

What else? You get to play washtub bass!

Why me?

Because your Ma's got the washtub!

Oh, no, forget it!

Ah, count me out, I'm not in your band,

and that's final!

[all] Awww!!

Come on, why not, Emmet?

Because, to make a washtub bass,

you have to put a hole in the washtub!

Hmm. I don't even have a proper costume!

Hetty, I can't possibly enter that contest.

You're right, Alice.

Forget the whole thing.

Hm. Hetty Muskrat!

You stop trying to sweet-talk me into this!

This is the fence we're supposed to mend?

Well... yeah.

That's not repairing, that's rebuilding!

Don't just stand around, boys.

You got work to do!

Just once, I'd like

to give a fine, store-bought present to Emmet for Christmas,

and with 50 dollars...!

I've never given Ma a nice Christmas present.

Never gave one to Pa either and...

and now it's too late.

Harvey says 50 dollars split four ways is

12 dollars 50 cents.

Lot of money.

That guitar we saw in town,

the one with the mother-of-pearl inlays,

Emmet really wants it.

But 40 dollars...

I can't buy a piano for $12.50 anyway.

But you could put a down payment on a used one.

But if I do enter, I gotta have a costume,

and to buy a costume, I'd have to hock somethin'.

Hmm. Nothin' left to hock.

Of course, there's Pa's old tool chest.

But Emmet uses that for odd jobs.

We would make a good jug-band.

But to put a hole in Ma's washtub...

He sure would like that guitar.

Nothing would make her happier than having

a good, old piano again.

I just don't know.

I just can't decide.

Ma! I'm home!

I cut the Christmas branch!

Oh, I see you did.

Well, after all, tomorrow's Christmas Eve,

and even if we don't have presents,

at least we can have the branch!

It's a nice one, Emmet.

Just like Pa used to bring home.

Yup. Every year he'd go out

vowing he was going to bring home

a real, whole Christmas tree.

Hmm, but he never had the heart to do it.

And every year, he'd say,

"Because I didn't cut it down,

"the rest of that tree

"will still be alive in a hundred years."

Ha, you know sometimes you even sound like your pa.

Ma, do you suppose it'd be safe

to use Pa's slide now?

Oh, I should think so.

The ice must be solid by this time.

Race you to her!

Hey, wait for me, now!

First slide of the year! Whoopee!

Whoa-ho-ho!

Wow, I forgot how much fun that is.

[laughs] Well, stand back!

It's my turn!

Whooo!!!

[laughing]

Wow, isn't that great?

[laughing] It's good enough.

Good enough for what?

Good enough to do again!

Ha, ha, ha....

Hey, now, my turn next!

Ha, ha, ha!!

Watch, Emmet, it's my turn again!

Ha, ha, ha. Whooo!!!

Ha, ha...

Ah ha ha ha!!

Oh, watch this one, Ma!

Whoa!! Ha, ha, ha....

Oh, boy,

That old slide's just about the best thing Pa ever built!

Ha, ha, yeah. He may not've left us much,

but that old slide is just about enough.

Gee, I think he left us a lot.

Well, he left what he could.

Hm, Pa used to say, "A person's got to

"take some chances, or life'll never come to nothing."

He took his chances on snake oil.

Fact that it didn't come to much hardly matters.

Pa would hock that tool chest.

Pa would put a hole in that washtub.

Ma, remember Pa's favorite song?

Hmm.

♪ When the mountain touches the valley ♪

♪ All the clouds are taught to fly ♪

♪ Thus our souls shall leave this land ♪

♪ Most peacefully ♪

♪ Though our minds be filled with questions ♪

♪ In our hearts we'll understand ♪

♪ When the river meets the sea ♪

♪ Like a flower that has blossomed ♪

♪ In the dry and barren sand ♪

♪ We are born, and born again ♪

♪ Most gracefully ♪

♪ Thus the winds of time shall take us ♪

♪ With a sure and steady hand ♪

♪ When the river meets the sea ♪

♪ Patience, my brothers ♪

♪ And patience, my sons ♪

♪ In that sweet and final hour ♪

♪ Truth and justice will be done ♪

♪ Like a baby, when it is sleeping ♪

♪ In its loving mother's arms ♪

♪ What a newborn baby dreams ♪

♪ Is a mystery ♪

♪ But his life will find a purpose ♪

♪ And in time he'll understand ♪

♪ When the river meets the sea ♪

♪ When the river meets ♪

♪ The almighty sea ♪

[Emmet] "Dear Ma, I'll be gone all day, I'll explain

"about the washtub when I see you late tonight.

"Love, Emmet."

[Ma] "Dear Emmet, I'll be home late tonight,

"and I'll explain about the tool chest

"when I see you. Love, Ma."

[bang]

[jug-band plays]

♪ When you meet somebody that don't like soul food ♪

♪ They still got a soul ♪

♪ And it don't mean that you got no rhythm ♪

♪ If you don't like rock n' roll ♪

♪ But if your taste's like mine you like cider not wine ♪

♪ And your very favorite thing to do ♪

♪ Is get a pretty girl dancing to jug-band music ♪

♪ And a mess of Mama's barbeque ♪

♪ Barbeque ♪

♪ Lifts my spirit ♪

♪ I swear it never fails ♪

♪ And the sauce Mama makes just stays there forever ♪

♪ If you dare to get it under your nails ♪

♪ Well, you ♪

♪ May be poor with the wolf at your door ♪

♪ But money isn't everything ♪

♪ You've still got the sun and a river full of fun ♪

♪ And you'll always have a song to sing ♪

♪ So get the frown off your face ♪

♪ We're gonna replace it ♪

♪ With a grin and a dream come true ♪

♪ With a pretty girl dancing to jug-band music ♪

♪ And a mess of Mama's barbeque ♪

[plays kazoo]

♪ Barbeque ♪

♪ Lifts my spirit ♪

♪ I swear it never fails ♪

♪ And the sauce Mama makes just stays there forever ♪

♪ If you dare to get it under your nails ♪

♪ So-o-o get the ♪

♪ Frown off your face ♪

♪ We're gonna replace it ♪

♪ With a grin and a dream come true ♪

♪ With a pretty girl dancing to jug-band music ♪

♪ And a mess of Mama's barbeque ♪

♪ That's a pretty girl dancing to jug-band music ♪

♪ And a mess of Mama's barbe-- ♪

♪ Mess of Mama's barbe-- ♪

♪ Mess of Mama's barbeque ♪

♪ A mess of Mama's barbeque ♪

-Oh boy!! -Oh, wow!

That was fantastic!

I can feel the prize money in my pocket.

Really?

We sound great!

Well, we sound fair.

Let's do it again.

Gee, haven't we done it enough?

Yeah, we done it all afternoon.

Well, let's do it some more.

I put a hole in Ma's washtub for this contest,

and we gotta win!

Now, here we go.

Gee, Mr. Big-time Conductor.

Are you ready, Harvey?

Sure, sure.

[song starts again]

Thanks for letting me come over and use

your sewing machine, Hetty.

I still can't believe it,

you actually took that tool chest

and hocked it to buy dress fabric.

I had to!

I got to wear somethin' for the contest, don't I?

Besides, ha, when I win, I'll have enough money

to unhock it.

What if you don't win?

Got to win.

Emmet is gonna have a guitar with mother-of-pearl inlay

this Christmas.

Mm, whatever you say, Alice.

Well, we better head for Waterville.

I'd like to be there early for the contest.

Boy, I know we're gonna win.

I just know it.

Hey, fellas, do you hear something?

[snowmobiles roar]

Sounds like a car or a motorcycle.

[backfires]

Hey, who are those guys?!

I think they're from Riverbottom.

Look at the birds up in the trees.

Yeah, well, we're not birds,

we're a jug-band!

Yeah, practicing for the talent contest.

Oh, sure!

They're gonna win the talent contest, right boss?

Ha-ha-ha!!!

Ah-ha!

Shut up!

[revs motor]

Ha, ha! Come on, everybody, let's go!

What was that all about?

[piano music plays]

[Harrison] Contestants, contestants, I'd like you all

to go to your dressing rooms now, please, if you would.

Ah, ladies over here to the left

and men to the right, please.

Uh, miss, to the left, here.

And boys, yes, over there to the right.

Uh, ladies to the left, and men to the right.

[ripping costume]

Oh, oh...

Sorry to split you up like that.

Pardon me,

Uh, is this the, uh, talent contest?

Uh, yes it is.

Your dressing room is right over there.

Ah, thank you...

Uh, I'm very nice to have helped you!

Ah, ha-ha, oh!

I mean, I'm v-very nice, you've-- excuse me!

You're terribly nervous.

[crashes]

Sorry!

Well, guys, this is the competition.

I tell you, it's a snap!

Two quick choruses of "Barbeque" and the money is ours.

Quiet!

It's starting, the show is starting!

-[murmuring] -Ahh!

Okay, Will, stand by on the house lights.

Dim the house lights.

And fade up on the spotlights.

[piano plays]

[all applaud]

Thank you, thank you.

Welcome to Waterville's first annual

Christmas talent contest!

[bang, bang]

As some of you may know,

I am Harrison Fox, mayor of Waterville.

And, first off, let me introduce

our judges for tonight.

Now, right down in the front row

we have James Badger,

my lovely wife Gretchen,

and this year's chairman of the judges,

the owner of "The Riverside Rest,"

Waterville's favorite café and nightspot,

-Doc Bullfrog! -[piano bangs]

[all applaud]

And right now, let's get things started

with, uh, Shirley and Nat Muskrat

as "Carrots, The Dancing Horse."

[drumroll and piano medley]

-Ahhh! -Hee-hee!

Bet or fail, Harrison, we're off to a shaky start.

[applause]

Okay, yes, thank you.

Thank you. That was Lindsay and Dierdre Mole

with their duet for "Snare Drum and Piccolo."

Well, if the acts don't get any better than that,

we've got no trouble.

And now,

Mr. Yancy Woodchuck to sing for you the ever-popular

"Barbeque"!

[audience applauds]

"Barbeque"?! But that's our song.

[off-key] ♪ When you meet somebody ♪

♪ That don't like soul food ♪

♪ They still got a soul ♪

♪ And it don't mean that you got no rhythm ♪

♪ If you don't like rock n' roll... ♪

We can't do the song after he's done it.

People will think we're copying.

Yeah, we're really gonna lose now.

No, we aren't. Come on!

-Where are we going? -Out in the alley.

We're not on for a while yet.

We gotta rehearse a new song!

♪ ...sauce Mama makes just stays there forever ♪

♪ If you dare to get it under your nails ♪

♪ Barbeque ♪ Ha-ha-ha!

Oh, thank you.

[audience applauds]

[Harrison] Welcome, if you will, George and Melissa Rabbit!

[showtune plays]

Eh, well it's gonna be a long night!

You there!

Aren't you in this contest?

You get in here this minute.

You might miss your entrance,

and we want this show to look professional.

[circus-like theme plays]

Ah, wonderful!! Marvelous!

Ahh, wonderful...!

And now we have for you tonight

one of our own traditional songs of the river,

rendered by a dear, little lady,

Alice Otter!

[audience applauds]

[plays sweetly]

♪ We're closer now than ever before ♪

♪ There's love in our world and we're showing it more ♪

♪ Our world says "Welcome stranger" ♪

♪ Everybody's a friend ♪

♪ Favorite stories don't end ♪

♪ In our world ♪

It's Ma!

Yeah, and she's better than we are.

♪ Some say our world is getting too small ♪

♪ I say with kindness there's room for us all ♪

♪ Our world is always changing ♪

♪ Every day's a surprise ♪

♪ Love can open your eyes ♪

♪ In our world ♪

♪ When night lays sad upon you ♪

♪ Go watch a simple sunrise ♪

♪ Love can open your eyes ♪

♪ In our world ♪

[loud applause]

Ma! You were fantastic!

Was I all right? They seem to like me.

Ma, you were the best, hands down!

You've got this contest won!

Wait a minute,

Emmet, what are you doing here?

Oh, well, me and the guys have organized a jug-band.

Hey, Emmet!

The mayor's introducing us.

Uh-oh. Come on.

...four young lads whom I'm sure you'll enjoy,

they call themselves

The Frogtown Hollow Jubilee Jug-Band!

[applause]

[playing instruments]

♪ How much alike we are ♪

♪ Perhaps we're long-lost brothers ♪

♪ We even think the same ♪

♪ You know there may be others ♪

♪ We can always use a friend ♪

♪ This family just keeps growing ♪

♪ This family doesn't have to end ♪

[deep bass] ♪ Do-do-do do-do, do-do ♪

♪ Brothers ♪

♪ Brothers ♪

♪ So many things to learn ♪

♪ But we'll enjoy each lesson ♪

♪ Problems don't worry us ♪

♪ When half the fun is guessing ♪

♪ Live a lifetime of surprise ♪

♪ We'll all become magicians ♪

♪ And leave the wonder in their eyes ♪

♪ Brothers ♪

♪ Brothers ♪

[loud applause]

Boys, you were wonderful!

Did it sound all right, Ma?

You were better than best!

You're certain to win!

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

that was to have been our last act,

normally, we wouldn't allow any last-minute entries,

but these kids have come a long way,

all the way from Riverbottom.

Yes, these Riverbottom boys--

Come on, let's clear the way there, huh?!

Come on, clear it out!

Where you want this, Chuck, huh?

Yeah, how's that, right there, huh?

Yeah, that's good.

[Harrison] So let's welcome, please,

tonight's last contestants.

Here, they are, the rock group known as The Nightmare.

[Hendrix-style rock song plays]

♪ We take what we want ♪

♪ We do anything that we wish ♪

♪ We got no respect for animal, birdie ♪

[fart]

♪ Or fish ♪

♪ The grass does not grow on the places where we stop ♪

♪ And stand ♪

♪ Riverbottom Nightmare Band ♪

♪ We know we're a mess ♪

♪ Our type does not like to be clean ♪

♪ We don't brush our teeth ♪

♪ 'Cause our toothache can help us stay mean ♪

♪ We don't wish to learn ♪

♪ But we hate what we don't understand ♪

♪ Riverbottom... ♪

♪ When you see us coming ♪

♪ You better start a-runnin' ♪

♪ We're always startin' trouble ♪

♪ And we're happiest when things are out of hand ♪

♪ Ooh ahh eee ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Tempers are for boilin' ♪

♪ Parties are for spoilin' ♪

♪ We either like to sit and pout ♪

♪ Or else go out and terrorize the land ♪

♪ Riverbottom Nightmare Band ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ahhhh ♪

♪ We laugh in your face ♪

♪ Or we practice our growl and our sneer ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ We break up your face ♪

♪ We are dangerous when we are near ♪

♪ And when we are done with our song ♪

♪ Who will get the biggest hand ♪

♪ Who ♪

♪ Riverbottom Nightmare Band ♪

♪ Riverbottom Nightmare Band ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

[wild applause]

And so, the winner

of our first annual talent contest is:

The Nightmare.

[wild cheering]

Emmet,

I hocked the tool chest

to get the material for my costume.

Oh, uh. Well,

you can see what I did to your washtub.

Yup.

Evening, Mrs. Otter.

Evening, boys.

-[boys] Hi, Dr. Bullfrog. -Evening.

I think you should know that the judges were impressed

by both of your acts.

They just needed, well...

that little something extra.

Keep working on it!

Yes, sir.

Well, gotta be gettin' to work.

Restaurant's busy tonight.

Uh, merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, sir.

[all sigh]

Well, boys,

looks like they're closing things down.

Better head for the river.

Quicker to get home if we walk on the ice.

You know, Emmet,

if I'd-a won that contest,

I would've given you that guitar

with the mother-of-pearl inlays.

-Would you really? -Mm-hmm.

Gosh. I was gonna get a piano for you.

A piano?

Were you really?

Yes'm.

Oh, Emmet,

that's about the nicest present

anybody ever tried to give me.

[Ma] You know, Emmet,

I guess I should feel pretty bad,

but the funny thing is that I don't.

I feel pretty good.

So do I.

I don't know why, but I do.

I guess it's 'cause we did just what Pa woulda' done.

[kazoo plays]

[Ma] Mighty nice kazoo blowin', Harvey.

Yeah, it was a great-soundin' song.

We shoulda won.

Well...

Just didn't turn out that way.

I thought Ma's song was nice, too.

Hmm. I hadn't thought of that old song in years.

But when I did, it just felt right.

[hums along with kazoo]

Say, those two songs could fit together!

How do you mean, Ma?

Uh, here.

Boys, boys!

I'm gonna start singin' my song,

and you come in singin' yours when I show you.

Okay?

-Okay. -Yeah.

♪ We're closer now than ever before ♪

[boys harmonize] ♪ How much alike we are ♪

[boys] ♪ Perhaps we're long-lost brothers ♪

[Ma] ♪ There's love in our world and we're showing it more ♪

[boys] ♪ We even think the same you know there may be others ♪

[Ma] ♪ Our world says, "Welcome stranger," ♪

♪ Everybody's a friend ♪

[boys] ♪ We can always use a friend ♪

[Ma] ♪ Favorite stories don't end ♪

[boys] ♪ Welcome, brother ♪

[all] ♪ In our world ♪

Gee, Ma, that sounds fine!

It sure does, Emmet.

♪ Some say our world is getting too small ♪

[boys] ♪ So many things to learn ♪

♪ But we'll enjoy each lesson ♪

♪ I say with kindness there's room for us all ♪

[boys] ♪ Problems don't worry us when half the fun is guessin' ♪

♪ Our world is always changing ♪

♪ Every day's a surprise ♪

[boys] ♪ Live a lifetime of surprise ♪

[Ma] ♪ Love can open your eyes ♪

[boys] ♪ Brother, look around ♪

[all] ♪ In our world ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

[Ma] ♪ When night lays sad upon you ♪

♪ Go watch a simple sunrise ♪

[boys] ♪ See wonder in your eyes ♪

[Ma] ♪ Love can open your eyes ♪

[boys] ♪ Welcome, brother ♪

[all] ♪ To our world ♪

[applause]

That's fine music, folks.

I thought you needed something a little extra,

but it appears to me

that what you needed was each other.

Well, we're mighty honored you liked it.

You wouldn't consider

working at "The Riverside Rest," would ya?

-Wow!! Yeah! -How 'bout it?

[Ma] Wait a minute!

Is the pay regular, when we play regular?

Sure is, and meals are on the house.

Golly, you got mashed potatoes?

Ha-ha, sure!

And you can start tonight.

[gasps] Wow!!

Peachy keen!

Emmet, what do you say?

Sounds better'n selling snake oil.

Well, sure!

Nobody wants to oil a snake these days!

[jug-band plays]

♪ We're closer now than ever before ♪

[boys] ♪ How much alike we are ♪

[Ma] ♪ There's love in our world and we're showing it more ♪

[boys] ♪ You know there may be others ♪

[Ma] ♪ Our world says, "Welcome stranger," ♪

[boys] ♪ Everybody's a friend ♪

[Ma] ♪ Favorite stories don't end ♪

[boys] ♪ Welcome to ♪

[all] ♪ Our world ♪

[kazoo solo]

And so Ma, and Emmet, and the boys

started to make a little regular money

and a lot of really fine music.

And from then on, Christmas was a little merrier

on the river.

[Ma] I sure enjoyed

our first night's work.

Yeah, gonna enjoy the rest of 'em, too.

Gonna love the mashed potatoes.

Ha-ha.

Let's face it, Ma.

We're better at singin' and playin'

than we are at laundry and odd jobs.

Hmm, yeah.

You know, boys.

I'd like to do a song for Pa.

Right here and now.

He took a chance on snake oil,

and you took a chance on a washtub.

Okay by me, Ma.

♪ When the mountain ♪

♪ Touches the valley ♪

♪ All the clouds are taught to fly ♪

♪ Thus our souls shall leave this land ♪

♪ Most peacefully ♪

[boys] ♪ Peacefully... ♪

♪ Though our minds be filled with questions ♪

♪ In our hearts we'll understand ♪

♪ When the river meets the sea ♪

♪ Meets the sea ♪

♪ Patience, my brothers ♪

♪ And patience, my sons ♪

♪ In that sweet and final hour ♪

♪ Truth and justice will be done ♪

♪ Like a baby, when it is sleeping ♪

♪ In its loving mother's arms ♪

♪ What a newborn baby dreams is a mystery ♪

[boys] ♪ A mystery... ♪

♪ But his life will find a purpose ♪

♪ And in time he'll understand ♪

♪ When the river ♪

♪ Meets the sea ♪

♪ When the river ♪

♪ Meets ♪

♪ The almighty sea ♪

[upbeat banjo music]