Original subtitles

Dr. Derek Polonsky is a psychiatrist teaching at Harvard Medical School. His

private practice specializes in couples therapy.

Dr. Marion Dunn is director of the Center for Human Sexuality at Downstate

Medical Center in New York and is in private practice.

In my sex therapy practice, I've seen that one of the most important

ingredients of a strong, lasting relationship is a full and exciting sex

life.

Sex can unite couples as few other aspects of life can.

Initially, sexual excitement may seem to strike like lightning.

Terms like chemistry, setting off sparks, describe that kind of rush.

However the sexual relationship begins, the way it continues over the years has

little to do with bolts from the blue.

Continuing excitement has a lot more to do with the quality of the relationship

and what you know or can learn about each other and about sex itself.

And it has even more to do with how you use what you know.

For example, excitement grows when couples do things that both partners

enjoy and fades when only one is satisfied.

If the other is simply going along, the chance for long-term pleasure decreases.

When sex includes the potential for choice and variety both partners have a

better chance to suggest and enjoy what they like best and Each encounter can be

different from the one before That's important because endless repetition can

take the excitement out of anything While variety is more important to some

couples than others It's always helpful to have enjoyable options available for

when the time and the mood are right

It seems as if sexual desire burns brightest and longest when both partners

get what they want from sex and when the couple is flexible enough to change

their sexual practices by adding a little creativity.

In other words, mutuality and flexibility are two important keys to

long-term sexual pleasure.

In the deepest sense, mutuality and flexibility will reflect and strengthen

the positive emotional aspects of the relationship itself.

And sexually speaking, mutuality and flexibility are a lot more likely when

couples can talk comfortably and openly.

Recent surveys indicate that many couples, even those who've been in long

-term relationships, are uncomfortable talking with their partner about sexual

matters. All too often, partners spend a lifetime misunderstanding the other's

feelings about sex.

Often it's a case of simple shyness, even with an intimate partner.

Or each may be afraid of hurting the other's feelings or seeming critical.

Unfortunately, feelings like these ruin good communication and make it difficult

for partners to learn how to please each other.

it's important to keep in mind that people can have exciting sex without

much emotional connection but it is unlikely to be sustained one of the most

frequent admissions couples make is that each partner does not really know what

the other likes or dislikes sexually the statement i like everything while

accepting and not very demanding doesn't help much with learning what is pleasing

for one's partner as an exercise you might each take a little time on your

own to think about what kinds of things excite you physically, and also what

turns you off.

It can really be enlightening to talk with each other about what you come up

with. Often there are small, easily changed things that have a powerful

effect on comfort and attraction.

Sometimes it may simply be one partner having not bathed or having just smoked

a cigarette.

Unless it is verbalized, there's no opportunity for the partner to be aware

and to change his or her behavior.

Sex is complicated and at times a fragile activity that couples share.

Most couples experience ebbs and flows in the enjoyment and satisfaction of

their sexual relationship.

At times, things are wonderful, and yet at other times, things are awkward and

less satisfying.

As couples' lives become more complex with job pressures, children, financial

concerns, their sex lives may be affected by these outside influences.

It's a huge relief if couples are able to talk about what might be bothering

them.

If one partner is anxious about work, doesn't say anything, and then is less

interested in sex, it might be misinterpreted and lead to needless self

-doubt. This video is designed in part to help couples talk easily and

comfortably about the sexual position shown.

Remember, the mutual comfort and pleasure of each partner is most

important. Beyond that, there are no absolute rights and wrongs in good

lovemaking. It can be fun to learn and try new options.

The more a couple explores, the better their chances of finding ways to

pleasure each other.

This video is designed to encourage communication and experimentation.

In the course of this video, we'll explore many different positions for

sexual intercourse and consider the advantages and opportunities each one

offers.

Of course, romance and all the sex play that precedes intercourse are essential,

and for many women are the best part of lovemaking.

And although they're not explored in this particular presentation,

We suggest that you think about the kinds of foreplay that are most arousing

to each of you and might help you feel more ready to experiment.

As we present these positions, we'll think about the particular physical

stimulation each one could generate.

To sharpen understanding of these sensations, we'll begin with a brief

look at human sexual anatomy.

In particular, those parts of the body most sensitive to sexual stimulation

through intercourse.

Because the male sexual organs are external, most men come to know their

own penises and testicles fairly well.

Because female sexual anatomy is internal and largely hidden, it's less

easily explored and understood.

We recommend that if a couple hasn't already done so, they explore each

other's sexual organs as you'll see here.

The female genitals are called the vulva.

The vulva includes the clitoris, labia, and vaginal opening.

The clitoris is the only structure in human anatomy designed solely to provide

sexual pleasure.

It is located here, above the vaginal opening.

In some women, it is hidden from view, especially when unstimulated.

In others, it is clearly visible.

It includes a shaft, a glands or head, a hood covering the shaft and head,

and blood vessels which become engorged during excitation, a process similar to

male erection, although on a miniature scale.

Most important, the clitoris is filled with nerve endings that are highly

receptive to sexual stimulation.

For many women, The clitoris is the focal point of excitation and pleasure.

Clitoral sensitivity extends throughout the mons, also called the mound of

venous, which is the sensitive area just above the pubic bone.

Beneath these inner lips, which are called the labia minora, pressure on the

mons provides indirect clitoral stimulation, as does the action of the

penis rubbing against the sensitive labia minora or small lips.

This motion can tug at the clitoral hood, which is really an extension of

the labia minora.

The action of the labia minora and the clitoral hood stimulate the nerves in

the clitoris itself.

For many women, direct stimulation of the clitoris is too intense for

pleasure, and indirect stimulation is far more desirable.

The labia majora, or larger lips, surround the labia minora and the

vagina. They are usually less sensitive than the smaller labia minora, but do

provide sexual stimulation for some women.

The vagina is a muscular canal and its walls lie against each other.

When the woman becomes sexually aroused, the walls of the outer third of the

vagina swell and become more sensitive to pleasurable sensations, thus allowing

them to grip the penis more tightly.

This tightness increases sensation for both the man and the woman.

A ring of muscles called the pubococcygeus surround the vaginal

canal. These muscles can be voluntarily contracted to increase sensation for

each partner.

Recent research has focused on reports of extreme sensitivity in an area of the

vagina which has been called the Grafenberg or G spot.

While some women report powerful sensations in this area, other perfectly

healthy women are unable to locate this spot within themselves.

or experience sexual stimulation there the existence and nature of the g-spot

remains controversial but a wide range of differences in vaginal sensitivity is

apparent many women with a little exploration find that there are other

areas of increased sensitivity along the walls of the vagina some positions

are considered well suited to contact between the penis and sensitive areas of

the vaginal canal and we'll take note of these positions throughout this video

This part of the penis is called the glands.

It is richly supplied with nerves and very sensitive to direct pressure, as

well as pressure created when the skin of the shaft is moved.

Although the skin itself contains no nerves, the nerves below it respond to

pressing or moving, especially when the penis is erect.

The underside, or frenulum, is especially sensitive.

Many men consider the frenulum the most sensitive part of the penis For some

men deeper penetration particular angles of penetration or varied thrusting

patterns maximize pleasure The testicles are also highly

sensitive in some men although they must be touched and caressed with great care

the perineum The area between the genitals and the anus is sensitive

in men and women alike.

In this review, we focused on the male and female genitals and nearby areas

because we'll be referring to these points of sensitivity when we look at

positions for intercourse.

However, it's very important to note that all the skin on your body offers

potential for sexual stimulation.

Mouth, breasts, nipples, buttocks, thighs, toes, neck, ears.

If it has nerves, it can receive pleasure.

Each person's pattern of sensitivity is unique, and only practical experience

can teach you about your own.

Similarly, only your partner's words, sounds, and gestures can teach you about

his or her special places and about the kinds of touch that are particularly

pleasurable.

Bear that in mind as we explore the sexual positions you're about to see.

We'll note the types of contact each one provides, the control they allow each

partner, their potential for intensifying emotional intimacy, and

sometimes their special value to people with health and other concerns.

Some of these positions may appeal to you instantly.

Others may turn out to be right for you based on what you may already know about

your own preferences and those of your partner.

For example, if a certain type of clitoral stimulation is exciting, Be

especially alert to positions that maximize this type of contact.

If both of you prefer deeper penetration, give special attention to

positions that make it possible.

When thinking about positions you'd like to try for yourself, go with your first

instincts by all means.

But look out for additional clues identifying variations that might be

satisfying.

While this video may focus on a wide variety of sexual positions,

Patterns of thrusting can also lend variety and increase arousal in almost

any position.

Shallow thrusting teases sensitive areas around the vaginal opening and also

provides exquisite stimulation for the head of the penis.

The rhythm and pace of thrusting can be adjusted from a slow hypnotic pattern to

more rapid thrusting as a couple wishes.

By varying the speed of thrusting, many men can last longer.

We'll start with the basic man on top position best known as the missionary

position.

This is certainly the most frequently used position in our culture.

Like most conventional choices, it has the advantage of feeling right and

appropriate to a lot of people.

That's reassuring and helpful for many couples.

This is the basic missionary position.

It can provide strong stimulation of the clitoris, especially if the man rides

high, pressing his pubic bone against the upper portion of the vulva and the

mound of venous.

While both bodies remain close, the missionary position keeps the couple

face to face, enhancing feelings of intimacy.

The woman shares considerable control over the pace of intercourse and gentle

upward thrusting is very effective.

This technique can result in greater arousal and better orgasms for some

women because of the steady clitoral stimulation it provides.

It allows the woman greater freedom to use her hands, to excite her partner and

herself, and to guide his motion.

Some couples bury the position to tighten the vaginal fit.

By bending her leg to open herself, the woman allows more complete and intense

contact between the genital areas and encourages deeper penetration.

Perhaps most important, the man's free hand comes into play so that both

partners have ample opportunity to touch and caress each other.

By bending and bracing his leg, the man can also thrust more powerfully.

By planting her leg on the floor, she can gain leverage for powerful or gentle

thrusting.

The woman can also angle her body so that the most sensitive areas of her

vagina and vulva are in contact with the penis.

Both partners are able to look into each other's faces and enjoy the intense eye

contact that can add something very special to lovemaking.

This position also has advantages for those with physical limitations.

With the man's body angled back from hers, it becomes comfortable for

pregnant women and heavier individuals.

Couples can enter this position by rolling onto their sides or by beginning

intercourse this way.

Because neither partner supports his or her weight, effort and physical stress

are slight, making this position ideal for those with physical problems.

When both partners lean back to create a V, the position can become especially

comfortable for pregnant women.

Both partners have great freedom to use their hands to stimulate each other's

genitals or leaning away to fondle her breasts or his chest and upper body.

By clasping the other more tightly, each can gain leverage for thrusting.

This position gives both partners excellent control of tempo, angle and

force.

Because it's easy to maintain, this is an excellent way to enjoy prolonged

intercourse.

By spreading her legs in the basic missionary position, bending her knees

and placing both feet on the floor, the woman opens a range of exciting

possibilities.

The spread position of her legs allows deeper penetration.

Placing both feet on the floor provides strong leverage for thrusting.

It gives her a far greater role in adjusting pressure and speed.

in this position she may want to hold his legs with hers rubbing them with her

calves and thighs for even deeper

penetration the man moves on to his knees and she brings her knees to her

chest the act of

raising both legs can communicate the woman's desire for penetration

in a way that both partners find especially exciting she may keep her

legs bent press them against her sides or extend them into the air giving her

greater freedom to use both hands in these variations the man will control

the force and speed of the intercourse using hands and knees to produce a

variety of thrusting patterns

This position tilts the clitoris back and away from the penis.

Still, clitoral stimulation can occur indirectly as the action of the penis

pulls on the inner lips of the vulva and on the clitoral hood.

When the woman locks her legs around his waist, she gains powerful control of the

movement.

She can use that leverage to increase the force of each thrust, and she can

use it to guide the angle of penetration in genital contact.

This shared sense of control and the tightly entwined closeness of the two

bodies can spark a powerful feeling of union that complements deep penetration.

woman raises her legs against his chest she offers an opportunity for very deep

penetration with every thrust resting on his knees the man enjoys

powerful leverage grasping her legs helps him increase or decrease the

speed and rhythm the angle of penetration

may allow Good stimulation for those who have sexually sensitive vaginal areas.

Many couples find the contact of torso and thighs exciting.

Both partners' hands are free for added stimulation.

Both are also well positioned to watch the action of their genitals.

especially if the woman's head is raised slightly on a pillow.

For heavier people, this position can be an especially good way to achieve deep

penetration.

However, this may be an unaccustomed, possibly awkward position for the woman,

especially if she has a lower back problem.

And it does require exertion from the man.

Therefore, not all couples will want to use it for extended periods.

Instead, it's often a good idea to reserve this position for a moment when

both partners want to heighten their shared excitement by increasing the

drama, pace, and power of intercourse.

Joining like two pairs of scissors creates full contact between genital

areas.

Because the contact is so close, penetration is very deep.

the woman can move to achieve a desired pressure on her clitoris.

This position requires considerable flexibility.

When the penis enters the vagina, the angle of entry forces it level with the

bed.

This pressure can create intense pleasure for the man.

It may also press the penis directly against the vaginal walls.

This can be especially rewarding for women whose vaginal walls are sexually

sensitive.

The man controls the pace by rocking backward and forward above her.

Because he is upright with both feet firmly braced beneath him.

The man has the dominant position, while the woman's position allows little

chance to adjust his rocking motion.

The man can also place his knees on the bed for added comfort and stability.

This variation, with her thighs resting on his, can also provide stimulation

to sensitive vaginal areas by forcing the penis against the vaginal wall.

It allows the woman to participate more actively through the leverage gained by

placing her feet on the bed.

Using this leverage, she moderates his motion, although the man should keep

some control to make sure that his penis remains inside her vagina.

In this and some other positions, younger women and those who have

recently given birth may experience discomfort when the penis stretches or

thrusts against this part of the vulva, the perineal rim.

When this occurs, it's important for her to stop, explain the situation, and

suggest another position.

In this very intimate position, the couple face each other, lying on their

sides. Her legs are bent to surround and clasp his body.

His waist rests on her inner thigh or her knee.

This brings the groin areas into close, prolonged contact.

By curling their bodies, the couple achieve deep penetration.

The close embrace of arms and legs maximizes body contact, offers powerful

leverage for thrusting, and gives both partners shared control of speed,

rhythm, and force.

Many couples find this position especially warm and reassuring because

it resembles the position in which they sleep.

Entry is easiest when the woman raises her upper leg.

and penetration can be assisted by his hand or hers.

The man can easily caress or fondle the front of her body, including her breasts

and clitoris.

The woman may remain relaxed or may exercise some control by arching her

lower back.

If both partners prefer, she can lean forward and he can lean back, minimizing

body contact, allowing both partners to focus all their concentration on their

genital connection.

Like many rear entry positions, this one works well for pregnant women and

heavier people because both partners rest on their sides.

It is easily maintained for long periods and may be particularly desirable for

people who must avoid extreme exertion.

This is the first of several women on top positions we'll explore.

For many couples, it offers several advantages.

The woman may feel an exciting sense of freedom and power that can increase her

pleasure. So may her ability to move as she pleases, controlling the movement of

the penis inside her.

Many men find the woman's active role exciting because it demonstrates her

desire to give and receive pleasure.

Because the man may choose to remain completely passive, this position works

extremely well for men who need to avoid exertion and may also increase a man's

ability to last longer.

In this variation, the penis may strike the woman's sensitive vaginal areas as

she moves to control its angle. She can also create indirect pressure on her

clitoris by rubbing her pubic area against his.

This variation provides excellent body contact and full penetration with

genital areas in close contact In this position his hands are free to hold her

buttocks

Because

his legs are braced he has leverage for rocking and thrusting upward

She may initiate her own rocking motion or deepen penetration by pressing her

body downward.

By drawing her knee further up the bed, she can adjust the angle of her vagina

to control the direction of the penis inside her, intensifying contact with

sensitive vaginal areas.

She sits on the penis and guides their motion by rocking or riding him.

He can enhance penetration by clenching his buttocks and thrusting upwards.

She guides his angle by shifting position.

His hand on her hips communicate his preferences.

By leaning forward and back, she changes the sensations felt in his penis and the

sensations within herself.

Although the penis does not touch the clitoris or mons, his hand or her hand

is free to caress it.

For many men and women, visual stimulation is a powerful source of

excitation.

This position offers a full view of the woman's body and its movements as well

as her changing facial expressions.

By leaning back, they can watch his penis moving in and out of her.

By leaning forward, she brings her mouth or her breasts to him.

This is sometimes called the doggy position.

It gives most of the control to the man who may choose to thrust gently or more

powerfully.

Although this position may seem to give most of the control to the man, many

women enjoy presenting themselves to their partner in this manner.

This position provides an opportunity for the man to stimulate his partner's

anus.

or caress her breasts with his fingers.

She keeps her back arched to deepen penetration and moves sideways to direct

the angle of his thrusting, guiding his penis to stimulate her sensitive vaginal

areas.

Again, although the penis or pubic bone do not directly stimulate her clitoris,

manual stimulation is natural and easy.

Once again, in this position and all others, Partners should let each other

know whether to slow down or whether a position is becoming uncomfortable if a

shift in angle or pace is needed.

Some couples enjoy this position because it allows each partner to concentrate on

his or her own sensations.

When the woman lies on her stomach, this position permits whispering and kissing.

that creates a sense of intimacy and closeness.

In this position, the woman exercises strong control.

She sits astride the man and adjusts her posture to guide the angle of his penis.

She can grasp his knees for leverage and drive her own rocking motion.

Her hands are free to stroke his testicles or stimulate her own clitoris.

This variation shifts some control back to the man, allowing him to watch the

action from behind and guide her hips with his hands.

This face-to-face position generates excitement because both partners can see

and touch each other as they like The man sits on his heels the woman kneels

with his legs between hers and moves forward Onto his penis guiding it into

her vagina close genital contact enables deep penetration in

This position the woman can rock her pelvis ride up and down or respond to

the man's own thrusting motion.

This position requires some strength and suppleness from both partners.

It gives full control to the woman, whose feet are firmly planted beneath

her, while the man's posture leaves him without leverage.

She can rock or bounce as she chooses, moving to direct the penis inside her.

The man has good opportunity to stimulate her clitoris with his hand.

Because this position wraps the partners into a tight bundle of bodies, arms, and

legs, it creates a feeling of closeness despite the distance from face to face.

This sequence shows an idea that can be applied to many positions.

One foot on the ground gives the partner on top great leverage and control for

thrusting. A foot on the ground gives her partner leverage for thrusting the

pelvis upward to help control the power and pace of the action.

The lower the bed, chair, or other surface, the easier it is for him or her

to achieve this leverage and control.

as in this variation

or

more powerful.

Sitting on someone's lap sometimes creates a feeling of comfort.

and emotional intimacy.

This position creates intimacy through close body contact, face-to-face

contact, arms free for holding, hugging, or stimulation.

His hands on her waist and hers around his shoulders help both partners draw

her body to his, driving his penis in and out, stimulating her clitoris as

she controls the angle and force of the contact between their genitals.

She reverses her position.

Using the floor for additional leverage gives her even stronger control,

allowing her to press their bodies closer.

Standing positions are wonderful for spontaneous lovemaking.

because the woman can control the downward pressure of her clitoral region

against his moving penis and forward against his pubic bone.

She may obtain strong clitoral stimulation.

However, this position requires considerable strength and stamina.

Maintaining balance and leverage while thrusting can be tricky and tiring.

Success often depends on the right match of heights and body shapes.

So this position works better for some couples than for others If it's right

for you plan to make standing encounters like this one relatively brief at least

to start

The

standing rear entry position is just as convenient and much easier to maintain

because balance is less of a problem, especially if the chair, bureau, or wall

can lend support.

The deeper the bend, the deeper the penetration.

By changing the height and tilt of her pelvis, the woman controls the thrusting

action.

Both partners' hands are free for action.

And as with other rear entry positions, whispers, kisses, and caresses can

communicate intimacy as desired.

In the past hour, you've watched and learned about a wide range of positions

for sexual intercourse.

The mastering of physical positions doesn't guarantee a fulfilling sex life.

That must be based on mutual love, communication, and respect.

However, you can enhance that love life with experimentation and variation.

I hope we've inspired you to try some of the things you've seen.

Come back to this tape again and again to re-explore positions that interest

you most.

or to study the anatomical information provided in the early part of the video.

Remember, it takes practice to figure out comfortable angles and where all the

arms and legs go in various positions.

So a sense of humor is very helpful.

As you consider and use these ideas, keep one point clearly in mind.

Every person's sexual response pattern is different, and so is every couple's.

Many of the positions you've seen may suggest other ideas that we've not

shown.

As you try positions for yourself, the most fun of all may lie in experimenting

further and the sense of playfulness that this can inspire.

I hope that watching this video together and talking about it will help you

communicate openly and honestly about your sexual feelings, about what you

like and also what you don't.

and that it will help you become more open and adventurous in pleasing and

loving each other.

We don't need one.

Yes, we do.

Paul, stop.

Paul. Don't you trust me?

You know how I feel about this.

We've been together two years.

What are you doing?

Paul.

The Sinclair Intimacy Institute began in 1991 with the mission to create

educational videos providing sexual health information to be enjoyed by

couples in the privacy of their own home.

The Sinclair Video Library is intended not only to educate, but to present

viewers with a variety of new creative ideas to help maintain a long-lasting,

intimate relationship.

Many marriage counselors and sex therapists use and prescribe Sinclair

videotapes on a regular basis because they provide accurate sexual information

and model sex positive behavior.

Sinclair Films have received recognition from many top professional

organizations, including the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors

and Therapists, the National Council on Family Relations, and the Society for

the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

It's hard to talk about sex couples frequently have difficulty asking for

what they want and need in the bedroom Videos can provide couples with a great

opportunity for opening up discussion of sexual needs and desires Being able to

refer to what's on the screen can facilitate that discussion Movies are

also a great way to stimulate new ideas Remember if you want to keep the spark

in your sexual relationship it would be wise to use some imagination and

creativity.

Doing the same old thing time after time is a sure way to create boredom in the

bedroom.

Watch this video with your partner and learn the ingredients for a lifetime of

better sex.

Most men in our society have been taught to be so goal-oriented and to override

their inner sensitivity and to override their feelings.

And these men miss out on some tremendous wonderful things in terms of

sex. And so when a man takes back control over his energy, suddenly a

bigger respect grows between both the man and the woman. Tantra teaches, which

I think is true and very relevant for today, is that ecstasy...

is your natural state.

The immediate benefit that we got from Tantra is that we have developed a sense

of closeness and a new sense of exploration about not only just our

sexuality but our life.

Most couples' sexual experiences tend to be short-lived moments of physical

pleasure. In many cases, the highs of orgasm are followed by a lack of

fulfillment. If you're searching for a deeper relationship with your lover,

Tantric sex may help you dramatically enhance your lovemaking by teaching you

the steps to a more meaningful union.

This video will introduce you to the ancient concepts of tantra and how they

can be adapted to your sexual techniques to deepen the connection with your lover

and heighten your pleasure.

There will be exercises to improve breathing and other ways to harness and

expand your sexual energies

You'll

learn how to increase your lovemaking potential with new positions and you'll

discover the secrets of intense full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms

Tantric sex can also help you merge with your partner in a state of ecstasy that

will change everything you know about intimacy.

And tantric experts like Charles and Carolyn Muir, Robert Fry,

David Ramsdale, And Margot Anand, author of The Art of Sexual Magic and

participant in best-selling videos, including Ancient Secrets of Sexual

Ecstasy, will share their expertise with you in Tantric Steps to Prolonged

Orgasm.

Tantra, like yoga or zen, is a path to enlightenment which heightens and

prolongs the special awareness and rapport that exists between lovers

during lovemaking.

Intercourse, in tantric sex, has incredible spiritual meaning.

An orgasm is seen as a cosmic or divine experience.

The tantric teachers believed that sex should not be just a physical sensation,

but should be considered a deeply spiritual experience.

In tantra, there's no particular physical goal in lovemaking.

There's just the experience of giving love and receiving love back.

Unlike Western culture where sex, over the last several centuries, has become

exclusively designed for male satisfaction or procreation, tantric sex

places equal value on both the male and female.

In fact, sex only works when both are at equal stages and levels of enjoyment.

Both partners are dedicated to each other finding complete fulfillment in

sexual ecstasy.

The emphasis in tantric sex is placed on much more than just the physical

pleasure we get from our genitals

Breathing

control is central to tantric sex most people never use their full lung

capacity

Deep breathing exercises can develop your lungs and provide greater energy

during lovemaking because more oxygen allows the body to perform more

efficiently Tantrics also teach that deep breathing helps energize you for

sexual activity Breathing control becomes an important factor in more

advanced exercises like relaxing muscles for holding off orgasms in both men and

women

Facing your partner, practice deep breathing individually.

Then get in sync with your partner and inhale and exhale together.

Deep inhalation, slow exhalation.

Once you're in sync try breathing alternately so you're inhaling while

your partner's exhaling This will teach you to be aware of your partner's

breathing

Physical

fitness can have a direct effect on your lovemaking abilities

The better your physical condition, the more energy you have available and the

more you can prolong lovemaking without getting tired.

Simple exercises like sit-ups, jogging or even walking can improve your health

and also have a positive impact on your sexual pleasure.

Healthy diet, moderate drinking and non-smoking are also factors which can

influence sexual appetite.

I read somewhere that we only usually use the top third of our lung capacity

when we are breathing.

And two-thirds of what we could be experiencing in our life force isn't

usually even available to us. Several times I just pursued just complete deep

breathing. All of a sudden there was an opening in my back and I could really

feel. a connection between my spine and my head. I could feel the back of my

heart. I could feel my whole back. It had become alive and I could really feel

it. And this changed a lot of things for me. It meant I wasn't sitting up in my

head watching my body now. All of a sudden there was a connection between

the genitals and the brain.

There's nothing more appealing in the allure of tantric sex than learning to

prolong orgasm.

This is something that many women are capable of, but men find difficult to

achieve. From the time males are young, the idea of a quick orgasm with a woman

in submission is the fantasy ideal.

But a more enlightened female population is setting men straight.

Women want the delights of sexual experiences to be as slow and prolonged

as possible.

Why? Because it's more fun.

I also observe over time some wonderfully beautifully

healthy things happening for women who are practicing Tantra.

I noticed that they began to regain their sense of their place in the whole

scheme of things, which is their personal power.

That often it is the woman who opens the man to his feminine side.

What we in the West know as genital orgasm or the highest level of

satisfaction in sex play is merely a first step in Eastern sexual philosophy

It

is a simple physiological fact that by finding the sources of energy in our

bodies We are able to direct and disperse that energy through us and make

better use of it

Like the marathon runner who uses breath to increase stamina, distance, and speed

in a race, lovers may use similar techniques to use sexual energy to

increase the intensity and depth of orgasms.

This energy, which spreads through all parts of the body, can produce what's

known as full-body orgasms. Instead of just experiencing sensations in the

normal erogenous areas we are accustomed to, like the penis, clitoris, vagina

anal openings and nipples we can create a ripple effect which will resonate from

the pelvic area to the extremities of our bodies although everyone

experiences orgasms differently the general sensations in a full body orgasm

include warmth tingling vibrating or pulsating throughout the body Some

men and women experience waves of orgasms, which make it difficult to know

where one orgasm ends and the other begins.

Whole-body orgasms can make combinations of pleasure peaks, which extend the

ecstasy well beyond the average six-second orgasm most men experience.

In addition, both partners may feel what's described as a oneness with the

universe.

The uttana position in tantra is similar to the male superior position, except

the woman has her legs over her partner's shoulders, allowing deeper

penetration. This may be more pleasurable for both partners.

Once again, the movements are slow and enjoyable.

There's no rush to orgasm, just a prolonged period of arousal which

continues to build.

Just being together, touching and enjoying the sensations from all the

erogenous areas on your body can be truly exciting.

With both feet against her lover's chest, the woman may find a more

desirable way to enjoy intercourse.

Remember to keep eye contact.

Loving looks are an integral part of the Eastern philosophy of sex, unlike our

common habits of turning out the lights or closing our eyes.

Another position is with a leg up over one shoulder and the other one down.

Although you still may prefer adapting tantra techniques of breathing and focus

to the basic male superior position, you may wish to try all of the uttana

positions and see which ones you prefer.

It's always fun to add some experimentation to your sex play.

I find for myself that there are experiences that I have where I'm able

to create healings. I'm able to help people feel relaxed and enjoy a

connection just because I know Tantra. My body is more relaxed.

You see, in the West, we have considered sex as a measurable,

quantifiable entity,

as an object.

that you can study scientifically measure objectively and this has taken

some of the enchantment away from sex

sitting

positions are more commonly practiced in eastern countries than in the west there

are many enjoyable variations you can experiment with Both couples sit with

their knees crossed over each other during intercourse.

Whereas most couples enjoy the sensation of holding during intercourse, Eastern

techniques value spiritual oneness of a sexual union rather than the physical

aspects.

This is another sitting position where both partners face each other during

intercourse but lean back on their hands, knees up.

The woman has her legs over her partners.

It gives the man a different angle of penetration and allows the woman to move

into the most desirable position for vaginal stimulation.

Releasing of the of the sexual power and energy when run with the partner back

and forth it's it circulates so it just Multiplies both of us rather than being

something he's doing to me or something. I'm doing to him

another way a woman can control both her and her partner's orgasm is through a

female superior position she sits with her legs out over his pelvis and sets

the pace of her stimulation if she sees her partner is nearing orgasm she can

slow down or stop to keep him from climaxing when she feels her orgasm

building she can also change her pace relax and then start again

By breathing deeply and using control she can intensify her orgasm

Since

men usually reach orgasm much faster than women many women may be unsatisfied

or unfulfilled by their partners

by allowing more time for the man to reach orgasm women too can enjoy the

continued stimulation and feel more relaxed rather than rushing to a climax

because they know their partner can't last

Men learn to play with the sexual energy in new ways to bring them much more

pleasure than normal orgasmic ejaculatory orgasms.

One of the things you're going to discover sooner or later is the fact

that ejaculation and orgasm for the man are two totally separate events.

You can have an ejaculation without an orgasm. You can have an orgasm without

an ejaculation. You can even have an orgasm without an erection.

The concept of men withholding their ejaculate is not a commonly accepted

form of sexual practice in the West.

In many couples, the male is orgasm-focused from the moment sex play

begins. He's anxious to stimulate his partner quickly and enjoy intercourse

shortly after.

Then, there's ejaculation, and for most couples, the end of that sexual

experience.

tantric couples however have found that not only can men with a little training

and restraint withhold their ejaculation but some with more practice can even

separate the intense feeling of orgasm from ejaculation this powerful technique

is not something new it's been around for thousands of years we just haven't

taken the time to rediscover it

It's possible for men to expand their lovemaking potential and extend orgasm

by not focusing on ejaculation.

Sexual arousal usually leads to an erection, and increasing stimulation

brings men to a contractile phase.

The contractile phase is where men may decide whether they wish to continue to

ejaculation or multiple orgasm.

contractile phase orgasms are a series of prostate contractions which last

three to five seconds these contractions are the signal that ejaculation is near

some men can control their muscle spasms that result in ejaculation and postpone

it this is done by slowing down stopping or withdrawing during this phase of

intercourse

Recognizing the onset of ejaculation and keeping yourself from going over the

edge can be learned with help from your partner.

While she stimulates you manually, allow yourself to get to the point where you

feel the beginning of the contractile phase.

Then have her stop stimulating you.

At this moment, tightening the pubococcygeus muscle is one of the keys

to withholding ejaculation.

imagine trying to stop the flow while you're urinating that's what you need to

do to tighten your PC muscle when the arousal level drops have her continue to

the point where you feel the contractile phase beginning once more then stop

again you may do this as long as you like

If it doesn't work the first time, don't be discouraged.

Just think of how many years you've been experiencing climaxes.

New techniques aren't mastered overnight.

They take some patience and practice.

As you become more skilled in this technique, you will be able to take the

sexual heat from your genitals and move it to your brain.

The more energy you move through your body provides you with a more intense

and more satisfying orgasm.

The point is to enjoy the contractile phase orgasms as long as possible

without going into ejaculatory inevitability.

This also provides both partners with multiple levels of orgasmic ecstasy.

And you'll find that what will happen is your level of arousal gets higher.

higher and higher and at one point you will realize that you are at a level of

arousal that feels better than just a fast and nasty orgasm and you'll go oh

that's what this is about and then you'll find a point where you will get

to a level of arousal where you will have body feelings that will reach a

crescendo and will have a level of resolution and you will not have

ejaculated and then you'll think oh that's what it is and you'll find you

can have orgasms that way Once you reach that point, you can go on and have more

of this kind of structure where you have orgasm, orgasm, orgasm.

It's been known for some time that many women are capable of having more than

one orgasm during lovemaking.

This can be a result of continued stimulation to the G-spot, clitoris, or

vagina.

However, the hardest way to experience multiple orgasms is by setting out to

have them. When there's no pressure, just plain sexual arousal, there is more

likelihood of greater pleasure.

Relaxation and stimulation are the keys to multiple orgasms.

As one orgasm fades, relax and enjoy further stimulation.

Women who haven't experienced multiple orgasms from their partner's stimulation

may wish to find the right combination of moves on their own and then

demonstrate to their partner what feels good.

First of all, men shouldn't pressure their partners into having more than one

orgasm. Nor do women need to feel they will impress their partners by

displaying endless ecstasy.

Every person's orgasmic experience is different, so you need to find what's

best for you.

Thank you.

I don't stop at one orgasm and I continue to experience pleasure and go

into multiple orgasms, particularly if I'm doing it with breathing and other

kinds of exercises that accompany Tantra.

I do feel like the orgasms just get bigger and higher.

It often feels like they last longer.

One aspect of sex that's almost not considered in the West is the ability of

men to enjoy orgasmic waves without ejaculating.

This is thought to be something only women can do.

Well, with exercise and effort, men can be multi-orgasmic as well.

One of the basic aspects of tantric sex is that the expulsion of fluid is an

unnecessary loss of bodily energy.

By keeping semen from spurting out, that energy stays inside the body and can

prolong lovemaking for hours.

That way, both partners may explore new heights of sexual satisfaction and

ecstasy.

One of the most important ways to control ejaculation is by moving energy

from the genitals to the brain.

Orgasm and ejaculation are two separate body functions, one centered in the

brain, the other in the muscles.

The waves of muscle contractions which cause ejaculation can be controlled by

relaxation and breathing, much the same way women control contractions during

childbirth.

Even though the contractions can be stopped, the sensation of orgasm

continues to be stimulated in the brain.

This gives all the pleasure without the energy loss.

Once the orgasm has slowed, the man can continue with intercourse, building his

orgasmic plateau once more.

This goes on until ejaculation is desired.

Separating ejaculation from orgasm is one of the more difficult aspects of

Eastern sexual philosophies, and many men may not wish to spend the time

developing it.

However, those who do find it well worth the effort.

Tantra makes you pay attention to your whole body and your whole being when

you're making love. It's not just the parts that feel good immediately.

Tantra is about really surrendering and opening to the partner.

to a non-dual place.

So if you can open up to that person, you can become one with them and then

you become one with the oneness.

It simply requires a healthy interest in sexuality and the desire to expand your

sexual potential.

You don't have to become a Buddhist, you don't have to become a Hindu, you don't

have to learn any particular type of yoga.

And one tantric reading I read said that it blesses the whole village and the

Earth Mother herself

the woman gives off amrita that divine nectar we've shown just some of the

sexual techniques practiced in the world of tantra you've heard real people tell

you how meaningful tantric sex can be and about the personal health benefits

committed couples can get from a fulfilling sexual relationship

Some of the positions, exercises and techniques may seem distant to you, but

given some thought, effort and practice, they can make your lovemaking become a

more rewarding experience.

For further information on our entire selection of videos and products for

adults, write to the Sinclair Institute, PO Box 8865, Chapel Hill, North

Carolina, 27515, or call toll-free 1-800-955

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