All language subtitles for attack of 50 foot cheerleader

(Cliff)
CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE
A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

[people chattering]

HELLO.

SO, HOW'S
THE LITTLE DR. CRANE?

OH, GETTING CUTER
EVERY MOMENT.

I HAVE BABY PICTURES.

[Frasier laughing]

WHO WANTS
TO SEE THEM FIRST? HMM?

WELL, LISTEN, FELLOWS,
THERE'S NO NEED
TO FIGHT OVER THESE.

I MEAN,
I GOT DOUBLE PRINTS.

(Frasier)
ALL RIGHT, NOW,

WHO DO YOU THINK
HE LOOKS MOST LIKE,

ME OR LILITH? HMM?

OH, KIND OF HARD
TO TELL THERE.

OH, WELL, HERE, LET ME
MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU.

I JUST HAPPEN
TO HAVE NEWBORN PHOTOS

OF MYSELF AND HIS MOTHER.

OH, GEE, WILL YOU
LOOK AT THIS?

3 DAYS OLD
AND LILITH ALREADY HAD
HER HAIR BACK IN A BUN.

I THINK THE KID LOOKS
LIKE HIS MOM, FRASE.

YEAH, I DO, TOO.

AND I MEAN THAT.
IT'S NOT JUST A SHOT.

I SUPPOSE
THAT'S ONLY FAIR.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL,
SHE DID CARRY FREDERICK
FOR 9 MONTHS.

I MEAN, WHAT DID I DO?

WELL, IN MY HOUSEHOLD,
THE HARD PART.

� MAKING YOUR WAY
IN THE WORLD TODAY �

� TAKES EVERYTHING
YOU'VE GOT �

� TAKING A BREAK
FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES �

� SURE WOULD HELP A LOT

� WOULDN'T YOU LIKE
TO GET AWAY �

� SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO

� WHERE EVERYBODY
KNOWS YOUR NAME �

� AND THEY'RE ALWAYS
GLAD YOU CAME �

� YOU WANNA BE
WHERE YOU CAN SEE �

� OUR TROUBLES
ARE ALL THE SAME �

� YOU WANNA BE
WHERE EVERYBODY
KNOWS YOUR NAME �

� YOU WANNA GO
WHERE PEOPLE KNOW �

� PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME

� YOU WANNA GO
WHERE EVERYBODY
KNOWS YOUR NAME �

[door opening]

OH-OH. BLONDE AT 2:00,
BLONDE AT 4:00,

BLONDE AT 6:00.

(Woody)
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, SAM?

SHE HASN'T EVEN MOVED.

I KNOW, I KNOW.
I'M JUST TRYING TO FIT HER
INTO MY SCHEDULE HERE.

HERE. HOLD THAT,
WILL YOU?

HELLO, MICHELE?
HI. IT'S SAM MALONE HERE.

LISTEN, SWEETHEART,
I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO MAKE IT TONIGHT.

OH, I'M SORRY.

BUT, HEY, SWEETHEART,
YOU'LL HAVE
ANOTHER BIRTHDAY NEXT YEAR.

(Sam)
HI THERE.

CAN I, UH, TAKE
YOUR ORDER?

UH, I'LL HAVE
A GLASS OF CHABLIS.

OH, TERRIFIC.
WHAT CAN I GET YOU
FOR DINNER?

YOU SERVE FOOD HERE?

NO.

OH, LORD.

[both laughing]

UM, I'M REALLY
NOT INTERESTED.

CAN I ASK WHY?
DO YOU REALLY
WANT TO KNOW?

ONE CHABLIS COMIN' UP.

I ALREADY DIALED, SAM.

THANK YOU, WOODY.

HEY, MICHELE, GOOD NEWS.

I'D SAY, UH,
GOT TO BE, UH,
LITTLE DEUCE COUPE.

AH, YOU'RE CRAZY.

WHAT?
409.

NO, LITTLE COBRA.
LITTLE COBRA.

NOW WHAT MINDLESS SUBJECT
ARE YOU BEATING
TO A SLOW, LINGERING DEATH?

WHAT IS IT?
"W-WHAT'S THE BEST CAR?"

NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT'S THE BEST CAR SONG?

GTO.
OH, YEAH?

YOU HEAR THEM LYRICS, BOY,
YOU'RE BURNING RUBBER!

HEY, EVERYBODY.

ROBIN IS BACK IN TOWN,

AND TONIGHT HE IS MINE.

SO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW
WHERE WE ARE GOING
AND YOU ARE NOT?

MY HOUSE?

CARL YASTRZEMSKI'S
TESTIMONIAL DINNER.

ALL THE OLD RED SOX
ALL-STARS ARE
GONNA BE THERE.

OH, BOY, I WOULD'VE LOVED
TO HAVE GONE TO THAT.

WELL, HELL, MAYBE
I'LL JUST SHOW UP
AND SURPRISE THE GUYS.

I MEAN, WHY SHOULDN'T I?

IT'S $1,000 A PLATE.

GIVE MY BEST TO YAZ.

AH, WHO CARES
ABOUT YAZ?

THIS COULD BE
THE NIGHT.

I'M SO EXCITED TO BE ALONE
WITH ROBIN AFTER THAT DINNER.

YEAH? FOR $1,000 A PLATE,
YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TO HIM
DURING DINNER.

I AM THE LUCKIEST WOMAN
IN THE WORLD

TO BE DATING
SUCH AN INFLUENTIAL,
RICH MAN.

YOU STILL DON'T GET IT,
DO YOU, REBECCA?

THE MEASURE OF A MAN'S WEALTH
IS WHAT HE CARRIES WITH HIM.

WHAT HE HAS IN HIS SOUL.

SO YOU WOULDN'T
SWITCH PLACES
WITH ROBIN COLCORD?

YOU KIDDIN'?
I'D SWITCH PLACES
WITH HIS SOCKS.

[phone ringing]

CHEERS.

OH, HI, MR. COLCORD.

OH, LISTEN,
CAN I MAKE A SUGGESTION?

I KNOW YOU'RE GOING
TO THIS $1,000-A-PLATE
DINNER TONIGHT,

AND I'M SURE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A GREAT TIME, YOU KNOW.

BUT, UH, YOU KNOW,
THEY HAVE THESE
ENTERTAINMENT BOOKS NOW,

WHERE YOU BUY ONE DINNER
AND YOU GET THE NEXT ONE FREE?

WOODY, I'LL TAKE IT
IN MY OFFICE.

OH, IT'S FOR SAM,
MISS HOWE.

SAM?

MR. COLCORD?

OH, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

WELL, YEAH.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

WELL, I'LL SEE
YOU THEN. YEAH.

OH, YOU WANT TO SPEAK
TO REBECCA?

I DON'T BLAME YOU.

WHAT WAS ALL THAT?

WELL, IT SEEMS THAT ROBIN
WOULD LIKE TO CHAT
WITH CARL YASTRZEMSKI.

BUT SINCE HE KNOWS
JACK ABOUT BASEBALL,

HE DECIDED TO INVITE
OLD MAYDAY ALONG

TO COME TO DINNER WITH YOU
SO I CAN TRANSLATE.

WHAT?

SAM, AND YOU ACCEPTED?

YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS
THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN
ALONE WITH ROBIN IN A MONTH.

I'M NOT GONNA BE
IN YOUR WAY, HONEY.

I'M GONNA BE
TOO BUSY HOBNOBBIN'
WITH MY BUDDIES,

RUBBING THEIR NOSES
IN THE FACT

THAT I'M GOING AROUND
WITH ROBIN COLCORD.

REALLY STICK IT TO 'EM,
YOU KNOW.
MAKE 'EM FEEL 2 FEET HIGH.

I MISS THOSE GUYS.

MAN, YOU ARE GONNA
RUIN EVERYTHING.

WHAT RUIN? IT'S GONNA
SAVE YOU FROM HAVING

TO COME UP WITH
ANOTHER EXCUSE NOT TO GO
TO BED WITH THE GUY.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I'M NOT GOING TO GO
TO BED WITH THE GUY?

WELL, HONEY, YOU KNOW,
YOU SEE THE SUN
COME UP EVERY MORNING

FOR 30, 40 YEARS,

AFTER A WHILE,
YOU START TO TRUST IT.

HEY, I BET MICHELE
WILL BE REALLY IMPRESSED

TO FIND OUT THAT SHE'S
SPENDING HER BIRTHDAY
WITH ROBIN COLCORD.

ROBIN COLCORD?
I'D BE IMPRESSED.

WOODY.
YOU KNOW THE NUMBER.

DAMN THAT ROBIN COLCORD,
CHANGING PLANS LIKE THAT
AT THE LAST MINUTE.

YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE
THAT GUY'S GOT A COUPLE
OF BUCKS IN HIS POCKET,

HE JUST THINKS HE CAN SHUTTLE
PEOPLE AROUND LIKE CATTLE.

MOO-VE ALONG, BOSSY.
IT'S MILKING TIME.

UH, MICHELE?

MICHELE, SWEETHEART,
LISTEN, UM,

I HATE TO DO THIS TO YOU,
BUT I-I'M GONNA HAVE TO
CALL IT OFF AGAIN.

WELL, MAYBE
NEXT WEEKEND, HUH?

OK. BYE-BYE, HONEY.

THANKS.

BOY, YOU KNOW, IT'S TOO BAD
THAT YOU AND I
DIDN'T HIT IT OFF.

I JUST GOT INVITED

TO THE CARL YASTRZEMSKI
DINNER WITH ROBIN COLCORD.

REALLY?

OH, YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH, WE'LL BE GOING OVER
IN ROBIN COLCORD'S
STRETCH LIMO.

THEN, UH, ROBIN COLCORD

WILL BE TREATING US
TO A $1,000 PLATE,

WHICH WE WILL BE EATING
SITTING NEXT TO ROBIN COLCORD.

AND THEN, YOU KNOW,

MAYBE WE'LL GO OUT
FOR ICE CREAM LATER

WITH SAM MALONE.

WHO'S THAT?

A FRIEND OF ROBIN COLCORD'S.

COME ON. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

[sighing]
WELL, I'M STILL NOT SURE
I BELIEVE YOU,

BUT I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.

ALL RIGHT, GREAT.
SEE YOU BACK HERE,
WHAT, 7:30?

I'LL BE HERE.
ALL RIGHT.

IT'S RINGING, SAM.

NO, I DON'T NEED IT
THIS TIME. THANKS, WOODY.

OH.

OH, HELLO, MICHELE?

UH, YEAH,
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU
THAT SAM STILL CAN'T MAKE IT.

ME?

OH, I'M ABOUT, UH, 6 FEET,
BLOND HAIR, EARLY 20s.

A LITTLE PARTY?

OH, SURE.
I LOVE BIRTHDAY CAKE.

IS IT OK IF I BRING
MY GIRLFRIEND?

HELLO?

IT'S 8:45.

THAT'S IT.
I AM OUT OF HERE.
OH.

HEY, COME ON, LAURA.
COLCORD WILL BE HERE.

MAYBE HE'S CONFUSED.

YOU KNOW, MAY-MAYBE
HE'S STILL ON SWEDISH TIME.

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?
YOU'RE A MEMBER
OF THE NAZI PARTY?

WELL, FORGET IT, BABE.
I DRAW THE LINE.

OH, PHEW! NARROW ESCAPE, GUYS.

[office door opening]
(Sam)
DID YOU SEE THAT?

WHERE IS HE?
WHERE IN THE HELL IS HE?

YOU THINK YOU GOT A BEEF?
I JUST HAD TO DUMP MY DATE
FOR POLITICAL REASONS.

YOU KNOW, THAT GUY LEAVES ME
FOR 4 OR 5 WEEKS AT A TIME,

AND THEN, WHEN I DO HAVE
A DATE WITH HIM,
HE'S AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE.

WHAT, LIKE THERE'S NO PHONES?
HE CAN'T GIVE ME A CALL?

I'M GETTING SICK OF THIS.
I DON'T KNOW
WHY I PUT UP WITH IT.

REBECCA,
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
YOU'RE A GOLD DIGGER.

WELL, I'M TIRED
OF WASTING MY TIME
AND CLEAVAGE ON HIM.

CHOP-CHOP, EVERYONE.
LET'S GO.

EXCUSE ME?

SOME OF US WERE READY
TO CHOP-CHOP
AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO.

REBECCA, YOU LOOK LOVELY.

I LOOKED LOVELIER
AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO.

OH, DARLING,
WE ALL AGE, YOU KNOW.

SAM, YOU COMING?

UH, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY
I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE A CAB.

MY DATE FELL THROUGH
AT THE LAST MINUTE, THERE,
AND I FEEL A LITTLE AWKWARD.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY,
"3 IN A LIMO..."

OH, WELL, ACTUALLY,
THERE WILL BE 4 OF US.

UH, THAT'S INCLUDING
MY DRIVER, MILES.

OH, GREAT. I'LL LOOK LIKE
I'M DATING THE CHAUFFEUR.

LISTEN, I MEAN,
I LIKE MILES AND ALL--

YES, WELL, HE LIKES
YOU, TOO, SAM.

WELL, THEN I'M DEFINITELY
TAKING A CAB.

I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

BUT, SAM, I NEED YOU
TO BRIEF ME IN ADVANCE
ABOUT THIS BASEBALL THING.

NOW, LOOK, I'LL GIVE YOU
A CONSULTATION FEE
OF $1,000.

WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS
DO YOU THINK
MILES WOULD LIKE?

ALL RIGHT.
KEYSTONE SACK.
2ND BASE.

HOT CORNER.
3RD BASE.

DINGER?

HOME RUN.

TATER.
HOME RUN.

AH, RIGHT.
HE'S GOOD,
ISN'T HE?

AH, YES,
HE'S WONDERFUL.

WE SHOULDN'T
GO ANYWHERE
WITHOUT HIM. EVER.

DO I DETECT AN ATTITUDE?
ATTITUDE?

LISTEN, WHEN WE MEET
YASTRZEMSKI,
MMM.

WE ALL JUST CALL HIM YAZ.

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, ROBIN,
THIS IS, LIKE, MY DREAM DATE.

I HOPE WE SPEND
THE REST OF THE NIGHT
TALKING ABOUT HOW MANY TATERS

YAZ HAS HIT.

REBECCA, IF THERE IS
SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU,
WE CAN DISCUSS IT LATER.

SO, HOW MANY TATERS
DID YAZ HIT?

OH, UM...

LATER? LATER?
YOU MEAN LIKE
WHEN WE'RE ALONE?

I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GONNA--

ANYWAY, REBECCA, UM,
IF THERE'S SOMETHING'S
BOTHERING YOU,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
COME STRAIGHT OUT
AND SAY IT?

ROBIN, IF YOU CAN'T
FIGURE IT OUT, I'M REALLY
NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.

OH, GOD,
THAT IS SO FEMALE.

DON'T EVER SAY THAT
TO A WOMAN,

YOU BIG JERK!

LITTLE SHREW.

SHUT UP.

FINE.

[sighing]

I DON'T KNOW
THE EXACT NUMBER
OF TATERS YAZ HIT.

BUT I KNOW
IT WAS A LOT.

HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT WE NEED HERE?

WE NEED
A LITTLE CHAMPAGNE.

[clears throat]

ALL RIGHT.
OH, I TELL YOU, ROBIN,

BASEBALL,
IT'S THE GREATEST GAME.

THE ONLY LITTLE
PROBLEM I SEE IS,

IS IN THE PENSION SYSTEM.

I MEAN,
WHERE'S THE SECURITY
FOR A MARGINAL PLAYER?

OH. HEY, THIS IS
VERY NICE CHAMPAGNE.

YEAH, NICE AND BUBBLY.

NOT LIKE THE KIND OF STUFF
WE USED TO POUR OVER
YAZ'S HEAD

AFTER HE HIT
A GAME-WINNING TATER.

OH, MY GOD.

OH, SAM,
YOU'RE STILL HERE.

KIND OF FEEL LIKE
I SHOULDN'T BE.

OH, WELL, WE'D
APPRECIATE THAT, SAM.

MILES,
WOULD YOU STOP THE CAR?

WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GUYS, COME ON.
THIS IS KIND OF
A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD.

OH, NO, NO.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD, SAM.

IT'S, UM,
JUST A PRE-REDEVELOPMENT.

HEY, IS THAT CAR
ON FIRE OVER THERE?

OH!

HEY, WHOA, WAIT.
WHERE'S MY COAT?

HEY, WHAT ABOUT MY $1,000?

[train bell ringing]

[train horn blares]

OH, GREAT. JUST GREAT.

BIG JOKE, AS IF
THEY'RE GONNA DO ANYTHING.

[train rumbling]

HEY, HOW WAS DINNER
LAST NIGHT?

I DIDN'T ACTUALLY
MAKE IT TO THE DINNER.

[clears throat]

REBECCA AND ROBIN
STARTED MAKING OUT
IN THE BACK OF THE LIMO,

SO I OFFERED TO DO
THE GENTLEMANLY THING.

WHAT'S THAT?

LET 'EM DUMP ME OUT
ON THE RAILROAD TRACK.

OH, MAN,
THAT COLCORD
IS A REAL JERK.

YEAH, HE JUST PULLED OVER
AND LET ME OUT.

HE STOPPED THE CAR?

SO WHAT ARE YOU
WHINING ABOUT?

THEY TAKE OFF
WITH MY WALLET AND MY COAT,

AND I'M OUT THERE IN MY TUX,
FREEZING MY TAIL OFF.

I TELL YOU,
I'D STILL BE THERE

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE
KINDLY SKINHEADS.

[sneezes]

OH, GOD.

I THINK I GOT SOMETHING.

IS MY HEAD HOT?

NO. WHAT ELSE
YOU GOT?

SO, UH, SAMMY,

DO YOU THINK
THEY DID THE, UH, DEED?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
REBECCA?

HEY, I ENDED UP
WITH A PANTFUL OF SLUSH

AND I GUARANTEE YOU,
I HAD A WARMER EVENING
THAN COLCORD DID.

HELLO, EVERYONE.

IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY,
I THOUGHT I'D WALK TO WORK.

THERE YOU ARE, SAM.
I TOLD YOU
YOU'D MAKE IT HOME FINE.

YOU'RE A CLEVER BOY.

COME HERE.

COME HERE.
WHAT?

COME HERE.

[chuckles]

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

OH, MY GOD.

YOU WENT TO BED WITH HIM.

(all)
ALL RIGHT!

[Carla whooping]

(Cliff)
HEY, HEY!

[Cliff chuckling]

HEY, WOODY, UH,
CHECK THE POOL.
ANYBODY, UH, HAVE THIS MONTH?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.

CLOSEST WE GOT HERE
IS AUGUST 1992.

LILITH STERNIN CRANE.

I'LL TAKE THAT.

NOT A WORD TO LILITH.

OH, YOU WACKY BARFLIES.

SO, WAS IT GOOD?

HMM, VERY GOOD.

"VERY GOOD,"
NORM, KEN, DAVID,
AND CLIFF'S MOM.

JUST SO YOU GUYS KNOW,

I REALLY DON'T CARE
IF EVERYBODY KNOWS.

WELL, IS IT OK IF
WE POST THE RESULTS
IN THE WINDOW?

[chuckles]

DO YOU REALLY THINK
PASSERSBY ON THE STREET
WOULD BE INTERESTED?

WELL, ENOUGH
OF THEM ASK.

YOU REALLY DID IT,
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SEE THE DAY.

I MEAN,
FIRST THE BERLIN WALL,
AND NOW THIS.

WHAT WAS IT?

WAS IT THE CHAMPAGNE?

NO, IT WAS A DOUBLE BACON
CHILI BURGER
FROM LITTLE WALLY'S.

WHOA, NOW, HEY, NOW.
WAIT A SECOND.

HE TOOK YOU TO
LITTLE WALLY'S
PUP 'N' BURGER?

YOU KNOW THE PLACE?

KNOW IT?
I PLAN TO BE BURIED THERE.

SERIOUSLY,
I'VE BOUGHT MYSELF A PLOT,

RIGHT UNDER THE BIG
PLASTIC LITTLE WALLY.

OH, I GOTTA TELL YOU,
IT WAS SO WONDERFUL.

YOU KNOW, FIRST I THOUGHT
IT WAS SORT OF A--
A LOW-DOWN, DIRTY PLACE

AND THEN I REALIZED
IT WAS A LOW-DOWN,
DIRTY PLACE.

YEAH, YEAH, LITTLE WALLY
KNOWS HIS CLIENTELE.

YEAH, YEAH.
SO YOU GREASED UP.

NOW, GIVE US
SOME DETAILS.

OH, ALL RIGHT.
WHAT CAN I TELL YOU? UM...

OH, YEAH, YEAH,
I--I TOLD HIM THE BIGGEST
SECRET OF MY LIFE.

WHAT?
OH.

I TOLD HIM ABOUT

YOU'VE LOST
THAT LOVIN' FEELING
BY THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS

AND WHAT THAT SONG
DOES TO ME.

(Rebecca)
RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?

(Carla)
WHAT?

HE CALLED THIS
RADIO STATION HE OWNS,

AND HE HAD THEM PLAY IT
ALL NIGHT.

I HEARD THAT.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS
THE LONG VERSION.

ANYWAY,
ALL I KNOW IS,

IT WAS THE BEST EVENING
OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.

YEAH, WELL,
ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN.

WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

OH, HONEY,
AM I GONNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN

MEN AND WOMEN TO YOU
ALL OVER AGAIN?

UH, IF SHE DOESN'T
WANNA HEAR IT,
SAMMY, WE DO.

HONEY, TO A GUY LIKE COLCORD,

ALL YOU ARE TO HIM
IS A CONQUEST
AND A CHALLENGE.

AND NOW THAT
HE'S HAD HIS FUN,

YOU'LL BE LUCKY
IF YOU GET A HELLO
AND A DONUT.

REALLY?

YEAH, REALLY.

CAN I HELP YOU?

UH, YEAH, REBECCA HOWE?

ME.

UH, REBECCA,
THIS IS FROM ROBIN COLCORD.

� YOU NEVER CLOSE YOUR EYES
ANYMORE... �

(Rebecca)
OH, MY GOSH!

IT'S BILL MEDLEY
FROM THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS.

� AND THERE'S
NO TENDERNESS... �

(Rebecca)
I MEAN,
I KNEW ROBIN KNEW HIM,

AND I HOPED THAT ONE DAY
I WOULD MEET HIM.

BUT I NEVER KNEW
THAT HE WOULD FLY HIM
ALL THE WAY TO BOSTON

TO SING THIS SONG
TO ME.

IT'S BILL MEDLEY, BILL MEDLEY.
IT'S BILL MEDLEY!

EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME.
IT'S BILL MEDLEY, BILL--
WHAT?

WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF?

SOMEBODY IN THE BAR
MIGHT WANNA HEAR THIS.

� YOU'VE LOST
THAT LOVIN' FEELIN' �

AHH.

ADMIT IT, SAM.

HE WENT TO THE EXPENSE
OF FLYING

ONE OF THE
RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS
OUT HERE

JUST TO SING HER A SONG.
HE'S GOT TO BE SERIOUS.

AH, IT'S PETTY CASH
TO A GUY LIKE COLCORD.

I DON'T KNOW,
HE'S GOT HER OUT
ON A BOAT NOW.

I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT THAT?

AND I KNOW WHY.
HE'S TAKING HER OUT THERE
TO DUMP HER,

YOU KNOW,
A QUICK BURIAL AT SEA.

TRUST ME,
SHE'S PROBABLY SWIMMING BACK
RIGHT NOW,

A LITTLE WETTER, BUT WISER.

HE DID IT.

HE SAID IT.

THOSE 3 LITTLE WORDS.

"WALK THE PLANK."

NO, SAM.

"I

"LOVE

YOU."

WOODY,
DOES ANYBODY HAVE
"I LOVE YOU?"

CLOSEST WE GOT HERE IS,

"I'LL RESPECT YOU
IN THE MORNING."
CLIFF CLAVIN.

I'M JUST SO HAPPY.

YOU KNOW, ALL I WANNA DO
IS CELEBRATE.

COME ON, YOU GUYS,
YOU'RE MY PALS.

COME ON,
LET'S GO HAVE FUN.

I DON'T KNOW, WE'RE REALLY
KIND OF SETTLED IN HERE
FOR THE EVENING, YOU KNOW?

LITTLE WALLY'S PUP 'N' BURGER.

I'M THERE.
WELL, HEY,
ALL RIGHTY.

COME ON, SAMMY.
IT'LL BE A LOT MORE FUN

THAN THAT RED SOX DINNER
WOULD HAVE BEEN.
YEAH.

AND IT WON'T COST
$1,000 A PLATE.

NO, LITTLE WALLY'S
DOESN'T HAVE PLATES.

THEY JUST SERVE
ON THOSE WAX PAPER THINGS.

YOU CAN SCRATCH
YOUR, UH, INITIALS IN
WITH YOUR FINGERNAILS.

AND IF LITTLE WALLY
IS IN A GOOD MOOD

YOU CAN SCRATCH
YOUR INITIALS IN HIM.

(Norm)
IT'S GREAT.

SAM, COME ON.
AREN'T YOU COMING?

UH, NO.
I THINK, YOU KNOW,
I BETTER WATCH THE BAR HERE.

BUT CARLA'S HERE,
AND WOODY'S HERE.

YEAH, I KNOW,
I--I SHOULD STAY, THOUGH.

I MEAN, SOMEBODY MIXED
SOME FILBERTS IN
WITH THE WALNUTS,

AND I GOT TO
STRAIGHTEN IT OUT.

SAM?

YEAH.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IS SOMETHING WRONG?

ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED?

WELL, UH,
WHY WOULD I BE DISAPPOINTED?

WELL, I GUESS
I KIND OF THOUGHT
YOU WANTED ME.

[sighs]

WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU
THAT IDEA?

I DON'T KNOW.
A GUY HITS ON YOU
EVERY DAY

FOR 3 OR 4 YEARS,
YOU KIND OF START
TO TRUST IT.

ALL RIGHT. YEAH. MAYBE
I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED.

[clears throat]

I THOUGHT WE'D BE
COOL TOGETHER, YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW,
GO OUT FOR A WHILE,
DO STUFF.

AH, BUT WHAT THE HELL,
YOU KNOW?

WE'D PROBABLY END UP
NOT LIKING EACH OTHER'S STUFF.

YOU'D HAVE TO DO MY STUFF
FOR A WHILE,
AND I'D DO YOUR STUFF,

AND OUR STUFF
WOULD GET ALL MIXED UP.

[exclaims]

[laughing]

SAVES US A LOT OF
AGGRAVATION, HUH?

YEAH.

I'M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU.

THANKS.

LET'S GO EAT.
OK.

DO ME ONE FAVOR THOUGH,
WILL YOU?

SURE, WHAT IS IT?

GO TO BED WITH ME.

OH, SAM,
YOU NEVER STOP.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S IN MY GENES.

THAT'S WHERE
IT'S GONNA STAY.
YEAH.

HEY,
WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?

UH, REBECCA TOOK SOME
OF THE GUYS OUT TO DINNER.

OH, GREAT.
THEY'RE ALL OFF AT DINNER

HAVING A GOOD TIME,
AND I'M STUCK HERE

WITH MY LITTLE
WALLY BURGER.

OH, NO. THEY SCREWED
MY ORDER UP AGAIN.

LAST TIME
THEY FORGOT THE TOMATO.

THIS TIME THEY FORGOT
THE TOMATO, LETTUCE,
HAMBURGER, AND THE BUN.

OH, SO, WHAT HAVE I GOT?
NOTHING.

[door bells chiming]

(Norm)
OH, YEAH. REBECCA KNOWS
HOW TO THROW A PARTY, HUH?

THIS HAS TO BE
MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT
IN THE WHOLE CITY.

(Cliff)
COME ON, I THOUGHT YOU SAID

THE HUNGRY HEIFER
WAS YOUR FAVORITE.

YEAH, SURE. YOU KNOW,

YOU GOT FOLKS
FROM OUT OF TOWN
OR SOMETHING,

YOU WANNA IMPRESS THEM,
YOU WANNA SIT DOWN,
MAYBE, YEAH.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
YOU JUST WANNA POWER DOWN
THE ANIMAL FAT, WALLY'S RULES.

YEAH, ALL I KNOW
IS THAT I'M STUFFED,

AND I COULDN'T EAT
ANOTHER BITE.

I COULD USE
A LITTLE SOMETHING TO, UH,
SETTLE THE OLD STOMACH.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT THERE?

LET'S GO BY CHEERS.
ALL RIGHT,
CAPITAL IDEA.

SURE, SURE, SURE.

SO, YOU KNOW,
HOW COME I ONLY GOT
TO EAT ONE BURGER?

(Norm)
IT'S 'CAUSE
YOU'RE THE DESIGNATED DRIVER.

(Norm)
GUYS, GOODNIGHT.

BYE-BYE.
THANKS FOR COMING.
SEE YOU!

OH, SAM. ISN'T THIS
A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT?

YEAH. I ESPECIALLY LOVE
THE WAY THE NEON LIGHT

SHOWS UP
THAT GREASE STAIN
ON YOUR BLOUSE.

THERE IS A GREASE STAIN.

I'M GONNA LEAVE IT THERE

'CAUSE IT'LL REMIND ME
OF THIS PLACE
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

IT'S STUPID, ISN'T IT?

I'M GONNA GO INSIDE
AND CLEAN IT OFF.

SAM, I KNOW THAT THIS
PROBABLY LOOKS LIKE
SOME DIVE TO YOU,

BUT TONIGHT, TO ME,
IT LOOKS LIKE

THE MOST WONDERFUL PLACE
IN THE WORLD.

AND THIS IS WHERE
I FOUND OUT THAT

I WAS ROBIN COLCORD'S
ONE AND ONLY.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

DON'T TAKE TOO LONG.

I WON'T.

[giggling]

THIS PLACE
IS NICE?

OH, YES. I BRING
A LOT OF
PEOPLE HERE,

YOU'LL LOVE IT.
OK.

HI, SAM.

HELLO.

[door bells chiming]

[Sam exclaiming]