Original subtitles

- [Dr. Gallagher] As I said before Mr. Tucker,

I'm no stranger to people

who don't want to sit in that seat.

[chuckling]

Why are you doing that?

- You keep calling me Mr. Tucker.

My name's Jack.

- [Dr. Gallagher] That's right, I'm sorry,

Mr. Tucker is your father.

Are you currently seeing anyone?

- Do you guys serve food here?

Like, do you ever feed us?

- [Dr. Gallagher] No, we don't.

- You, you could, you know.

- [Dr. Gallagher] Jack.

- You could do better than that, like.

- [Dr. Gallagher] Are you going to answer my question?

- Like just, like I'm not even asking for much

just like a snack, just like something to nibble on

while you grill me through this...

- [Dr. Gallagher] I have some rice crackers.

- That would literally probably kill me.

Not that you care.

- [Dr. Gallagher] Jack, I think it's time we talked about

why you're here.

Can you tell me in your case what

malicious destruction of property is?

- An over reaction?

- [Dr. Gallagher] Why do you think you're here then?

- You looked lonely.

- [Dr. Gallagher] That's very funny.

- You didn't laugh.

- [Dr. Gallagher] It wasn't that funny.

Would you mind telling me what happened?

- It's kind of a long story.

- [Dr. Gallagher] It's kind of a long session.

- It was Fourth of July weekend.

[laughing]

Oh man he is gonna kill you.

- I'm not tellin' him, you were supposed to be watchin' him.

- He's your kid.

- You have got to be kidding me.

Why does your child refuse to act like a human being?

- I thought Jack was watchin' him.

- No, no excuses, Blake he is two now,

he will be prefect

or he will be shunned.

- I don't expect him to be perfect.

I just don't expect to find my car keys in the septic tank.

Is that really too much to ask?

- It was an accident, Dad.

- It's the third time he's done it.

[laughing]

- Okay smart alecks laugh it up.

- It's funny.

- You know what else is funny?

My two oldest sons pawin' through the septic tank

lookin' for my car keys.

I got one pair of gloves and I'm givin' 'em to Joel.

- How do you expect us to get 'em out?

- Well the first time this happened,

I stuck one of those little floater things on there so...

- Dad, I gave you money to get a new set.

- And it was barely enough to cover my emotional damages.

Get 'em out.

- You cannot be warped enough to think we're actually

gonna do this, that's ridiculous.

- You wanna know what's ridiculous?

Your twin brother has a job, a house and a child

while you the oldest still live in a room

you wet your bed in.

- One time, I wet the bed one time!

- I meant when you were a kid.

Why do you torture me?

I know you do these things on purpose.

- Papa.

- Yeah, Papa, the same Papa who's keys you flushed down

the toilet three times now.

They're gonna mess you up so bad.

- Aside from forcing me to grow a peach fuzz mustache

in the 10th grade this is the dumbest thing

he's ever made me do.

- I thought you looked good with the 'stache.

- Shut up.

- I did, it was distinguishing.

- You looked like Aunt Thelma.

- Your Highness.

[gagging]

Holy!

Flashlight.

- Do you see it?

- Middle right, green spot.

- Oh yeah.

- So, I was gonna propose tonight?

- Why?

- You and Alexa?

Congrats, man.

- Thanks.

I didn't wanna spring it on you guys when I did it,

and I could use your help.

- How long have you guys even known each other?

- Three months today actually.

- [Blake] Do you have the ring?

- Yeah, I have it right here.

- Oh.

[phone ringing]

Yeah.

- You think maybe you should put that away

so you don't have to explain

why her right hand always smells so different from her left?

- Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

- Yeah.

[baby babbling]

- Grandpa, will you pass the beans?

- Turn your hearing aid up, old timer.

[laughing]

- Karma.

- Shut up, Joel.

- Don't single him out.

- You can shut up too, Nancy.

[doorbell chiming]

Mr. Glassbrook, what are you doin' here?

- That's no way to welcome your boss.

You're fired.

- I am?

- No, of course not.

I was merely being playful.

Welcome me.

- Yes, welcome.

Sorry, it's just odd to see you in my house.

- You think that's odd,

don't look in the trunk of my car.

Come, Richard.

What a lovely place you have.

Nice and tiny.

Richard, could you please have a seat on this cushion

directly adjacent to that arm rest?

- Is everything okay?

You seem a little...warm.

- Of course.

It's just these darn Norwegian pants.

Anyways, I have written in my agenda

some matters of business that we need to attend to.

Says here, how is your family?

It's great, why?

- Well, I'm not sure of the correlation.

But at seven o'clock my agenda says

that I'm supposed to ask you about your family,

and then give you the opportunity for a physical.

And what the agenda says, we must do.

Would you happen to have any rubber gloves?

Never mind.

I found my spare pair.

- Are you...

Are you sure that's what that says?

- I am, indeed.

See here.

Let's see, seven o'clock.

Oh.

That's not what it says.

I'm to offer to a fiscal opportunity.

Fiscal.

How about that?

Well, that makes quite a bit more sense

to say the least.

Now, back to the fiscal opportunity.

How would you like one week paid vacation,

and the opportunity to be promoted to shop foreman?

To Ted's Job?

I was recently contacted by a man from

Johnson's Family Unity Survival Camp.

He said that you been randomly selected for a week long stay

for you and your family, for free.

- So, it's a therapy camp?

Why would I be offered a promotion for that?

- Because family is important at Glassbrook's!

Glassbrooks has been family owned and operated

for nearly 45 years.

Ted is planning on retiring next month,

and I would like to replace him with someone

I feel has initiative in all the areas that count.

Well, there's nothing more important to me than family.

- That's the spirit!

I'm gonna use your restroom.

Oh, Richard, if you do decide that you want to do this,

and if at the end of the week you or your family

hasn't completed the course in its entirety,

I'll be forced to terminate your employment.

Glassbrooks is no place for quitters.

To the john!

- [Richard] Mmm.

[sighs]

- Your mother would be so proud.

[belching]

What'd your boss want?

- Oh, he was just offering me some vacation time.

And what the crap are Joel and that girl doing?

- Her parents named her Alexa,

and he's proposing.

- Marriage?

- No, a dietary change.

[gentle music]

- What are we doing?

- Just trust me.

[laughing]

- You knew about this?

- Of course.

- How come nobody told me?

- Why would they?

- Joel.

- Okay, stop.

Look around, babe.

No, no, I didn't say take the blindfold off.

I said look around.

- How do you expect me to see anything with a blindfold on?

- Exactly.

What you see right now

is exactly how I felt before I met you.

It's what I feel when you're not around.

[birds chirping]

I never wanna feel that way again.

- This is bad.

Bad.

This is so bad.

Bad.

[laughs]

This is bad!

- So, Alexa Lynn Grainer.

- You just used my full name.

- Will you take the blindfold off of both of us?

For good?

- Yes!

- [Jack] Can you do a pig?

[oinking]

- All right, Joel.

Go fireworks.

- I cannot believe she said yes.

- Ah, she's young.

She doesn't know what she's saying yes to.

Right, babe?

- What have you been feeding this kid?

[baby babbling]

- Right.

- The point is, Joel just started college.

He has no idea what he's doing.

- And you do?

[fireworks popping]

Dang it, I missed my cue.

- For what?

- You know I love you?

- You better.

I love you too.

Can I go show off my ring now?

- Sure.

[uplifting music]

- They have no idea what I sacrificed for them.

Don't I owe it to myself to get somethin' I want.

I mean...

- Rude, you can't ask a man a question

and move on before he can answer.

Were you raised by wolves?

- It was rhetorical.

- How could I have possibly known that, Richard?

- Are you gonna listen or not?

- Yes.

Because that was a well phrased question.

- [Woman On Intercom] Dun dun dah dah!

Bill Owens and Richard Tucker

please report to Mr. Glassbrooks' office.

- [Bill] What does he want with me?

- Mr. Glassbrook.

[toilet flushing]

- Gentlemen!

[laughs]

Richard.

Come, come, come, come.

Oh!

And...

Bill.

Now Richard, Richard.

I wanted to apologize for the mix up we had last night.

You know, what the agenda says, I do.

Due to a circumstance much the same last week,

I rode my neighbors dog bareback.

[laughs]

- There's really no apology necessary, Mr. Glassbrook.

- Good.

It felt a bit much.

Please...remain standing.

Could you two please switch?

Just go ahead and switch for me, thank you.

Oh, that was perfect, excellent.

Please, have a seat.

Bill, could you please put your left leg up?

Thank you.

Richard, I also wanted to give you

this pamphlet about the camp.

Apparently, you can have a family friend

facilitate all of your therapy sessions

and you wouldn't even have to pay

for a licensed therapist to come out.

I thought our friend Bill here

could help you and your family out.

- I don't know how to be a therapist.

- Nonsense, young man!

Your very voice is therapeutic.

Now Richard, what did your family think about the idea?

- They were...

Very excited when you left.

- Excellent!

Ha-ha!

I love deliverin' smiles!

[laughs]

Now, Richard, I am so excited about this.

Now, apparently, by the end of the week,

in order to complete the curriculum,

your family will have to do some intensive obstacle course

that would make a baby carrot smile.

[farting sound]

That was the chair.

Back to work.

- [Richard] Let's go.

- Janet, bring me my Wednesday pants.

[rooster squawking]

- Who the heck are you?

- I'm the sink thief!

Woo!

I'm just kiddin', man.

I'm the plumber your wife called.

I'm certified!

- You called a plumber?

- Yes.

- I fixed the sink last night like I said I would.

- You did not fix the sink.

- Yes, I did.

- No, you fixed the original problem

in your typical duct tape fashion.

This morning the water wouldn't stop.

At least before you touched it,

the kitchen didn't flood

every time someone flushed the toilet.

- Here we go, typical Mary.

Everything Richard does is wrong.

- Because you never help this family

for the sake of helping.

You do it to prove you can fix things.

You can't fix everything, Richard.

[arguing in the background] - You are just so good.

Mmm.

Who needs girls?

- That still doesn't give you the right

to go behind my back.

- Well, I'm sorry Richard.

I'm sorry I'm the one that had to have the sink fixed.

I'm sorry I'm the one that handles the bills.

I'm sorry I'm the one that's raised this family

for the last 25 years.

I'm truly, truly sorry.

[dramatic music]

- [Richard's own voice in his head] I could retire early with that job.

[rock music]

I could get a motorcycle.

- Bill, meet me at Nacho's.

- Okay! ...who is this?

You want me to therapist your family, huh?

- Man, it's a lot of pressure.

- A lot of pressure for you?

Imagine if you were in my boots, Richard.

Imagine some poor, lonely man came along,

and asked you to raise his child.

And not just the middle child.

Imagine he's trusting you with the one he likes.

- Bill, nobody's asking you to raise my kids.

It's one week.

If I did this you'd just be an outside voice.

- I feel like you're always using

your outside voice, Richard.

It's your inside voice you need to be working on.

- I mean they need...

- Inside voice.

- I mean, maybe they need to hear it from someone

other than me.

- As I've always said,

I've always thought of myself

as that rich classy uncle to your kids.

You know, the kind that drives fancy cars

and calls women dames.

Stuff like that.

- Bill, come here.

You never met my family.

This wouldn't work if you had.

- That doesn't mean I'm not in their hearts, Richard.

I think deep down we've all got a rich classy uncle

out there somewhere.

- Bill, I've got to do something

I vowed when I started college

that I would never let a broad change my life.

- Broad is a classy word!

- And now, here I am, 20 years later,

and I'm in the same job I was when I dropped out of college.

I need to do this.

For me.

- All right, I've got two questions.

A, are you positive this is what's best for your family?

And C,

can a wear a cape?

I can wear a cape?

[laughs]

Woo, I can wear a cape!

Woo!

[groaning]

- No cape, man, no cape.

- I'm gonna do this, and you're gonna help me.

- Okay, I can love the middle child for a week.

- Thank you.

You're weird.

- Family vacation?

- [Richard] Yes.

- Like, all of us together?

- Yes.

- Why?

- Because I believe this family deserves a break.

- Then why would we go together?

- Jack, don't be a pain.

Your father makes a good point.

- Thank you.

- I'm just not sure what your motive is here.

- Nope, I'm completely unmotivated.

I just realized I haven't necessarily

been involved like I should,

and I wanted to make it up to all of you.

- So, we're gonna go together?

- [Dr. Gallagher] So, this vacation your father

took you on...

- He tricked us into therapy.

- [Dr. Gallagher] Right, sorry.

This therapy vacation is where you met Lydia?

The girl with the body of Hercules' wife

and eyes like ocean treasure.

- I never said that.

- [Dr. Gallagher] That's what I have written.

- Doesn't sound like me.

- [Dr. Gallagher] But this is where you met her?

- Can I tell the story, please?

- [Dr. Gallagher] Of course, Jack.

- Can't believe you brought the bus.

- What are you talking about?

This thing's a classic.

[horn honking]

Sorry.

[clears throat]

- Name?

- Richard Tucker.

- Your last name was enough.

No need wasting breath.

- You know, I'm always on him about wasting his breath.

I don't think he fully realizes that

he's only got so many left in his old age.

- Get out of my face, wet sheets.

- Breath

mint.

[door creaking]

- Well, you should fit right in.

Orientation starts at the Wesley center in 10 minutes.

After that, you'll canoe to your peace quarters.

Please sign this waiver

indicating that all members of your party

as here of their own free will,

and releasing the camp from all physical, emotional

or psychological damages you,

or members of your party may accrue during your stay.

- [Sarah] Can you just act like an adult once in your life?

- [Blake] You're like a monkey.

- Seriously, everyone just stop it!

[gentle music]

- Hold this.

- What are you doing?

- You have a nice face.

- You just randomly approach strangers

and take their picture?

- If they're not completely hideous.

- You might wanna get a picture

of what's going on behind you.

- You guys know it looks like you're making out

with each other, right?

- Thanks.

Enjoy your family therapy.

- Hello, hello, hello!

Welcome to Johnson's Family Unity Survival Camp.

And welcome to a life changing week

of family therapy.

[applauding]

- Of course.

- Uh-oh.

It looks like we have a little bit of commotion

in the audience.

Sir, what's your name?

- Richard Tucker.

- Richard Tucker, tell us why you're here.

- Because my family needs help.

- I think we need to give Richard a good hand.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

A matter of fact, let's all gather around the Tucker family

and give them a Johnson nonphysical encouragement hug.

- I knew it was too good to be true.

You're sick, you know that?

- I didn't have a choice.

- Uh-oh, someone hasn't entirely been honest, have they?

Son, what's your name?

- Jack.

- Jack Tucker, I bet you are excited

about the survival obstacle course

at the end of the week, aren't ya?

What's that, Gary?

Great question, Jack.

The survival obstacle course,

otherwise known as the S.O.C.,

is the final session of the program,

and it's gonna be especially designed for the Tuckers

to show their family unity once and for all.

Doesn't that get your blood pumpin', Jack?

All right, Tucker family.

This next week is gonna...

Say it with me.

- [All] Change your life!

- So, is this your first time at Johnson's?

- It would appear so.

- Why'd you decide to come?

- Because I'm hopelessly devoted

to seeing my family succeed.

- Oh.

- Do you smell that?

Do you smell it, Jack?

- I, I sure do.

- Do you know what that smell is?

- Do you have to touch me every time we interact?

- Has she blinked?

- I don't know.

You've been watching just as long as I have.

- Yeah, but you're closer.

- Maybe she's not real.

- I'm so sorry.

I really didn't know this is what he was doing.

- Why?

This is going to be such an amazing experience.

- Jack, you're so tense.

I can't wait to see what this week holds for you.

You'll never be the same.

- [Joel] Top bunk.

- Hello Tuckers.

- [Richard] Whoa, whoa.

He's friendly.

- [Alexa] I'm so sorry.

- Everyone, this is Dr. Bill Owens,

he's the family therapist

that the camp has given us for the week while we're here.

Are you okay?

- Oh, not a problem.

I've got the larynx of a man much younger.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

my name is Dr. Bill Reginald Owens the third,

and I will be your family therapist assigned to you

while you're here.

- I'm sorry, are we just gonna gloss over the fact

that he tricked us into therapy?

- Dad, I had to use the rest of my vacation days for this.

- This will be worth it.

- Of course.

I'm the bad guy.

- How could you not be the bad guy in this scenario?

You told us you wanted to spend some time

together as a family.

- Technically, we are still together as family.

- You might want to rethink that one.

- Okay.

Did I stretch the truth to get you all here?

Yes.

But it was for a good reason.

Jack, you're livin' the same life you were as a six year old.

Blake and Sarah raise their child like a cartoon character.

- Sarah and I would appreciate

if you called him Ethan every once in a while.

- Well, I would...

Where is he anyway?

- Shoot.

- Dang it.

- Joel, you got engaged,

and you didn't even bother to ask me.

- And all of these things we coulda worked out as a family

had you ever brought them up.

- Not every nice.

- Yes, I lied.

But we're here now.

Can we just make the best of it?

- I'm not staying.

- Yeah, I don't want Alexa to have to be a part of this.

- If you two insist on getting married,

she's gonna be a part of this family

whether she likes it or not.

And I hid Blake's keys,

and there's no cell coverage for at least a mile.

- Kids, your father's an idiot.

- Yeah.

- But he makes a decent point.

I think it could do us some good.

- I must say, that was wildly uncomfortable to watch.

I wish I had left several minutes ago,

but never fear,

I'm an excellent mechanic.

Of hearts.

Your unity costumes are in that tub.

Don't show up to your session without them.

- Did he say costume?

- And how are we all doing today?

Good, your first exercise will be one in empathy,

which I like to call hot tomato.

How it works is that one family member

steps barefoot into that metal hood

that has been sitting in the sun,

and as soon as that family member

places both feet on the hood,

another family member may leave their post

and take their place.

Any questions?

- Where did you say that accent was from, Dr. Owens?

- Yeah, it's interesting.

- I hail from Scotland yard, sir and madam.

- Like the prison?

- Ah, of course not.

My father used to call our front yard

Scotland yard.

- So you're from Scotland?

- London.

Richard, would you like to lead your family and go first?

- Yeah.

- And go.

All right, please place both feet on the hood.

Any family member may take his place now.

[groaning] [hood clanking]

- No.

He brought this upon himself.

- All right.

That went quicker than anticipated.

Your next session won't be for an hour or so.

I'll be in my dormitory.

- Should I bring Mr. Tucker a plate?

- Pay no attention to the jerk behind the curtain, hon.

- Napkin?

- Under the potato salad.

- Awe, is this the last one?

[blows nose]

- Mom, I hate Blake's wife.

- I'm sure the feeling's mutual.

Would you please go find some more?

- Where?

- I don't know.

Ask one of the staff.

The least they can do is lend a few prisoners some napkins.

- I did this for our own good.

- Jack, go.

[clears throat rapidly]

- I need napkins.

- Second door to the left.

- Now right over here is our BB gun range

where we expel violence.

Hey, is that Jack Tucker I see in there?

- Run.

- [Man] Jack Tucker, I love hide and seek.

I'm gonna get ya.

I'm gonna get ya, I'm gonna get...

- Hi Jack.

[laughs]

And your face.

[laughs]

- How do you know my name?

- The walls are paper thin around here.

Is that Jack Tucker I see in there?

[laughs]

- The camera girl, right?

What are the heck are you doin' in here?

- Now, now, scaredy cat, no need to be rude.

- Me rude?

If I was pregnant, we'd both be parents right now.

- What?

- I can't feel my legs.

Can you feel my legs?

- Breathe, Jack.

[breaths rhythmically]

[chuckles]

- [Jack] You're so weird.

- Actually, I'm Lydia.

- I'm gonna need to change my shorts.

- Well, Jack, it was really nice to meet you,

but since you're about as subtle as a hand grenade,

I'm gonna have to keep moving.

- What are you hiding from?

- What's wrong with your face?

- Did I not get it all?

- I think he means the smile.

- What?

Shut up.

[baby babbling]

- Welcome everyone.

I trust you had no trouble finding me this morning.

Your exercise today will be one in confrontation.

I need Richard and Mary

to step into the clearing of feelings.

Now, once you're in the clearing,

you must express your true feelings

towards the other person.

- I feel agitated at the very sight of my husband.

- You've played already!

Well then, let's get started.

Here are your fighting sticks.

- And what do we need fighting sticks for?

- I need you to step on that platform,

and after every feeling one party discloses,

they can take a swing at the other

and attempt to knock them off of their platform.

[groans]

- The heck was that for?

- I already told you the sight of you

makes me wanna vomit.

- Agitated was the actual word you used.

- I'm not gonna hit my wife.

- The fighting sticks are perfectly safe, I assure you.

I triple double taped them myself.

- I can't stand how you make everything my fault.

- You take no responsibility in the raising of our family.

- You are an ungrateful piece of work.

How do you stay up on these things?

- Ballet, ages three to 10.

- That was like 40 years ago.

Shoot.

[groans]

- Mary wins!

That was amazing, wasn't it?

Now, I have Jack and Sarah next.

- Yes.

- No, Sarah's not gonna compete.

- It is required.

- So, we have an announcement.

We are pregnant again.

[screaming]

- So you were getting fatter!

Not the face, not the face.

[whimpers]

- Hormones.

- Oh, yep.

- What are you guys doing?

- Nothing, Mom.

- I thought I told you I didn't want you guys messing

with anybody while we were here.

Who's this for?

- Dad.

- Okay, love you guys.

- Sssh, here he comes.

Let's see who's got the wet sheets now.

[growling]

- All right, gather around everyone.

- Can I say something please?

I got like two hours of sleep last night,

'cause this savage wild animal

was crouching around outside my door

'til like five o'clock in the morning.

- Battery must have died.

- I stayed awake all night so you could sleep safely.

So between staring death in the face for all of you,

these huge raw blisters I used to call my feet,

and the complete disregard for my manhood yesterday,

I think I've been punished enough

for trickin' all of you into this.

So could we be please, for the love of the beast

that I've fought with my bare hands,

move on and do this correctly?

- Thanks for that sacrifice, Dad.

I've heard that there's some

really vicious animals around these parts.

- You have no idea, Blake.

- Alright, looks like you're ready to get started.

Your exercise today will be for couples only.

So grandpa and Jack, you can either sit this one out,

or partner with each other.

Full disclosure, there will be some physical contact

of the mouth region required.

- See ya!

- I'm gonna go take my nephew somewhere less gross.

- All right, suit yourselves, you antisocial...ants!

So, who's ever tried coed fire breathing before?

- You can trust Uncle Jack.

Throwin' rocks in fun.

You know what, I think that's enough.

[shutter clicking]

- Are you following me?

- In life or on the internet?

- Or you're witty?

It's tough to pick up on that

when you are screaming like a little girl

who just saw the boogeyman.

- Really?

- [Lydia] And what's your name?

- Not a fan of creepers.

Are you, Ethan?

- Well, this is nice.

You have the whole beach to yourself.

Are you enjoying your family therapy?

- Oh, it makes my wildest dreams look like crayon drawings.

You?

- Oh, I'm not here for therapy.

- You're here for fun?

- No, my grandpa owns the camp.

I like to come up here when I can and take pictures.

- So that would make you Lydia Johnson.

- Born and raised.

[gentle music]

- So what's the story behind this place?

- Well, the property's been in my family forever,

but it used to be just empty land

that they would hunt and fish on.

- Yeah, but where did the whole therapy,

prison camp idea come from?

- Well, when my grandpa was a boy,

they were having some issues,

so great grandpa brought everybody out here

with literally just the clothes on their backs.

They had to build their own weapons and shelter.

You name it.

The second night, great grandpa

put a spear through a wild boar's head,

or something weird like that,

and took it back to the camp,

and everyone was so hungry

and the complaining just kind of stopped.

I guess at some point they figured

it'd be a good idea to offer other families

the same experience.

- So they literally came out here

for an entire month with nothing?

- Mm-hmm.

Great Grandpa Boar, as we called him,

always used to say, "If we can survive for a month in here,

"we'll thrive for a lifetime out there."

[laughs]

I mean, the whole point of this place

is to survive together.

That's why the therapist is optional.

- I thought the camp supplied the therapist.

- No, you have to hire your own if you want one.

Most people just do what your family did

and have a family friend come facilitate things.

Thanks Ethan.

Follow me.

- What are you thinking of doing?

- A brilliant woman once said,

a human ought not tell their thoughts

when the opportunity arises to show them.

- Who said that?

- I did.

- But who said it originally?

- I did.

Come on!

- No, I can't leave Ethan.

- [Lydia] Bring him.

[lively music]

- I didn't bring Ethan's flotation diapers.

- It's like three feet deep, sissy.

- You think I should?

You really are a brilliant man.

[joyful screaming]

[singing] Whoa

[singing] We'll never be the same

[singing] Whoa

[singing] Whoa

[singing] You are letting down those walls

[singing] And I know that I will never be the same

[singing] You have opened up that heart

[singing] And I promise I won't let it go to waste

[singing] 'Cause you are more than what I bargained for

[singing] Yeah, you are more than what I bargained for

- [Lydia] Oh no!

[joyful screaming]

[singing] And that's for sure

- I'm gonna tag you.

- So he says to me, extra ham, please.

[raucous laughter]

- Hey Jack.

Nice timing, we were just sittin' down to eat.

- You guys are different.

- Coed fire breathing was actually a lot of fun.

- Yeah, at one point, Alexa coughed

and I almost lost an eyebrow.

- Where have you been?

- Why's my child soaking wet?

- I took Ethan to the beach, we built a sand castle.

I met the owner's daughter.

- Is she cute?

Sorry, none of my business.

- She's actually very cute, Alexa.

More importantly, she knows all

the ins and outs of the camp, so she was able to give me

some very useful information

about the whole therapy process.

Like where you therapists comes from, stuff like that.

- So did you learn anything interesting?

- Hmm.

It's been in her family for generations.

- Could you please pass the wister sister shire sauce?

- Well hello, Tuckers.

- Jerry.

- Your outfits are adorable.

My cat has one just like it.

- What, you know this guy?

- I accidentally took the last pudding cup

at lunch the other day, and he won't let it go.

- You saw me reaching for it.

You acted out of malice.

- I offered it to you as soon as I saw you wanted it.

- I can still smell the pudding on your breath.

- Doesn't he remind you of Aunt Thelma?

- Fredericks!

Prepare for battle!

- All right, Tuckers.

Huddle up.

The game today is elimination tug of war.

If you fall into the mud pit, you're eliminated

and your team has one less player.

- Just tug of war?

What's the catch?

- They are much stronger than you.

All right, on three.

One, two, three.

- [All] Tucker Tigers!

[dramatic music]

- Three,

two,

one.

Go!

- Tuckers!

We

are

one!

[uplifting music]

[uplifting music]

Take it easy Fred.

- Fred Fredericks?

- Yeah, rough right?

- So, you did good today.

- Yeah, you did too.

- You did especially well though.

You took charge.

Led the family.

Those strong arms.

Meet me in the bus in an hour.

- Why?

Kids, your mom's not feeling too well,

so I'm taking care of her for a while.

They've got food and ice cream in the cafeteria.

Get whatever you want!

- I can help, Mr. Tucker.

- No, sorry, thanks.

I don't want anyone else getting sick.

- Okay, breathe Mary.

This is not that unusual.

He's your husband.

It hasn't been...

That long?

This is like my wedding night all over again.

At least I'm not pregnant this time.

- [Clerk] 438...

- Hey, do you guys got a bathroom around here?

- Yeah, in the back.

You're not making a bomb with that, are you?

- What?

No.

- It's just...

My manager told me, and he was very specific,

if this ever happened again,

I'd have to remove his shoe

from my behind.

- I'm not makin' a bomb.

Are we good?

- It's just that...

He's got really

large feet.

- I'm not makin' a bomb!

- Do you want a bag for your bomb parts?

- Yes.

- [Mary] Where did all these wrinkles come from?

I look like I need to iron my face.

- Well, hello Mary, I didn't see you standing there.

- I literally couldn't hate anything more than my lips.

- What, these old things?

Nah.

- Is that a birth mark?

When the heck did that get there?

- So, you guys know that mom's not really sick, right?

- Blake, what the heck?

I'm eating.

- I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure

everybody stayed away for a while.

- Must be working for 'em then.

Didn't tug of war get you guys so stoked

for the obstacle course tomorrow?

- Hi Jack!

- Is that the girl you were talking about?

- Yeah.

- Whoa Jack, way out of your league.

- Why do you guys always talk to each other like that?

I'm serious, knock it off.

- I'm sorry, geez.

- [Blake] Are you gonna ask her out?

- No.

- What, why not?

- She gave you a very sweet smile, Jack.

- I don't know.

I'm not ready.

- Jack, bogus.

You can't keep using that same excuse.

Look at me.

Not all women are like Hannah.

Say it with me.

Not all women...

Say it.

- Not all women are like Hannah.

- They're not all gonna rip your heart out.

I love you like my literal second half.

Look at me.

Jackie, you gotta take a chance at some point.

- She did kind of give you a

[imitates cat]

smile.

- Jack, Jack, Jack,

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack...

- [All] Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack...

- Would you guys keep it down, please?

- How do I look?

Wish me whatever this is gonna take.

Hi.

Two,

three.

- Sweet Moses, Richard.

This is goin' way better than I expected.

[laughs]

The way I see it, not only will you get the promotion,

but your family will be better than ever.

Well crikey, Mrs. Tucker,

I must be at the wrong camp site.

I was actually looking for a different...

- Drop the accent.

What promotion?

- I told you I'm at the wrong...

- Talk.

- I just don't understand why we have to invite

all these people we don't even know

to watch us get married.

It's like we're fish in an aquarium.

- And that, dear boy,

is why you are not planning the wedding.

Can you pass me my water?

- It's just such a hassle.

- Then why'd you propose?

- Stop, you're gonna get all the food wet.

- Come on!

- What are you doing?

- [Lydia] Live a little.

- I prefer to live dry when I'm clothed.

- That's what makes it fun.

- Lydia, come down.

[dramatic music]

Lydia?

Lydia?

Lydia?

Help!

Help!

Help!

[dramatic music]

[uplifting music]

That's my fiance.

[coughing]

- Ma'am, I need you to lay still.

- [Dr. Gallagher] She didn't know it was you?

- Does it matter?

It's starting to rain, doc.

Looks like your sun roof's open.

- [Dr. Gallagher] My car doesn't have a sun roof, Jack.

- Your windows are down.

- [Dr. Gallagher] Jack, it's perfectly natural

to feel apprehensive about discussing these things.

No one likes rejection.

- I just don't want your seats to get wet.

- Ready or not, here I come!

What are you doing?

- [Mary] I'm leaving, Richard.

- What?

No, no, no no no.

What are you talking about?

- Bill came by to congratulate you

on how well everything was going.

- It's not what it sounds like.

- So, this was really all a lie?

You did this all for a promotion?

- Of course not.

- One time, Richard!

For once, please, do me the courtesy

of telling me the truth.

- It wasn't just that.

It's...

It's everything.

I thought you were leaving me.

- This was never about losing me.

This was about you, proving you could fix us.

- It was about removing some of the stress.

- I'm supposed to be

the love of your life, Richard.

Do you have any idea what that means?

- You are.

- Even after all this,

you can't tell me that you love me.

- Jack, hey.

What were you doing at the dock earlier?

- My brother wants to start

a rock collection for Ethan, so I was...

- Oh, he's your nephew?

- Yeah.

Glad you're okay though.

Heard it was a close call.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm lucky to be alive.

Quick thinking on Brent's part I guess.

So you're leaving?

- Yeah, I just checked us out.

I guess this week didn't exactly

go the way we thought it would.

Actually, it's gone,

it's gone exactly the way we thought it would.

You're engaged.

- Yeah.

- Awesome.

You um...

You don't wear a ring.

- Yeah.

No.

It wasn't a good fit.

I sent it in a few weeks ago to be resized,

and they lost it and the replacement ring

was turning my finger green.

It was a mess.

What?

- Nothing.

- What?

- Nothing.

It was nice meeting you.

Stay out of the water for a while.

I wish you and the skipper all the best.

[gentle music]

- Rich, I'm really sorry.

- It's not your fault, Bill.

- I've been reading a lot of this Freud stuff.

You know, for my character.

Come to find out, it's all your mom's fault.

Who would have thought?

Who would have thought?

[singing] Don't close your eyes

[singing] And don't fall asleep

[singing] 'Cause you were made to dream

[singing] And don't turn your head

[singing] And don't run away

[singing] 'Cause you were made

[singing] for great things

- God can save you from anything but yourself.

- What does that mean?!

What if I'm just a mess?

What if I can't be saved?

Huh?

I don't understand how you could go through your whole life

so selfless,

and I still end up like me.

[singing] Leave needy hearts in...

[singing] And all our ambitions

[singing] They steal our intentions

[singing] We scar those that need us the most

[singing] Oh we cut down and rob all their hopes

[singing] Whoa

[singing] Whoa whoa

[singing] Whoa, whoa whoa

[singing] Whoa

[singing] Whoa, whoa whoa

[singing] Whoa, oh oh

[singing] Whoa, oh, oh

[singing] Oh

[singing] So don't close your eyes

[singing] And don't fall asleep

[singing] 'Cause you were made to dream.

[siren chirping]

- I thought you were a taxi.

- If I had a nickel...

- Why?

- Do you know that I love you?

Do you trust me?

Mary, when your mother left,

I couldn't breathe.

It was like...

It was like all the air in the room just followed her.

I didn't think I could go on after that.

Later that evening, I went into your room,

and you looked up at me with those big blue eyes,

and said, "Daddy, will you still love me

"even though Mommy's not here?"

By the standards of that day,

your mother had every right to leave.

I was inconsistent, I was insecure,

and I didn't show her the love that she deserves.

Does that sound like anyone you know?

- He doesn't deserve this family.

- No.

No, he doesn't.

By the standards of today,

you have every right to leave.

But I guess, I just look out at the world sometimes

and wonder if those are the standards

we should be holding ourselves to.

I wonder if anyone of us has the right

to make those types of decisions.

I just think we should all know

second chances exist.

- You don't have to sneak around.

She's not here.

Wow, you're seriously just gonna take your stuff and leave?

- I don't want to cause any more problems.

- You're a coward.

- I tried, Jack.

- For four days.

What about the 25 years before that?

- Look, when your grandpa died...

- Oh!

My grandpa was a great man!

Everyone he has ever known has told me that.

You've used his death as an excuse for your laziness

my entire life.

No.

What I'm asking is if you have the guts

to fight for something

that at the very least you used to believe in?

- I don't know how anymore, Jack.

I really don't.

- Do you still love my little girl?

- Yeah.

- Say it.

- I love your daughter.

- Do you wanna win her back?

- I don't know how.

- Do you want to win her back?

- Yeah.

- You don't deserve her.

- I know.

- We've got some ideas.

[uplifting music]

Jack.

- Can I show you something?

Sit.

This is the story of how a young man

fell in love with a young woman.

And eventually, how a young woman fell in love as well.

The year was 1986.

It was their first semester of college,

and they were both incredibly nervous.

- This place makes me so nervous.

I am just a small town boy.

- I wonder if I'll ever find a man

as wonderful as my father.

- I may have added that in.

Eventually boy met girl and they fell in love.

Girl's father could see that boy loved her very much,

and even though girl's father hated his stupid hair,

and pansy green pickup truck,

he gave permission to ask her to marry him.

Girl, however, said no.

- [Radio] Awe!

- Boy was...

- I am crushed!

Sorry.

- Boy was crushed.

Yet somehow boy managed to win her back.

Boy refused to say what he did to win her back,

so we're assuming it was pretty mushy.

They got married,

and less than nine months later, came twins.

- Mama!

- Taking care of fraternal twins is no easy task,

no matter your age.

So boy and girl had to leave college for the time being,

and focus on raising their family.

Boy got a job fixing cars,

and girl got the job

of eventually raising three terrorizing boys.

Life went by, and boy and girl seemed to drift apart.

Boy had a crazy hair-brained idea

involving his family that ended up

blowing up in his face as expected.

And here we are.

- Where's Richard?

- I'm right here.

- Why weren't you in it?

- I'm guess I'm more of a behind the scenes type guy.

- Don't you think that's the problem?

- You didn't like it?

- No, I loved it.

My Dad, our boys, our daughter in law,

our future daughter in law.

They all did fantastic.

But none of them needed to win me over.

- But I wrote it.

- We wrote it.

[singing] Don't you know my dear

[singing] That you're the one I love?

[singing] And don't you know my love

[singing] That your fears break my heart?

[singing] So hold me

[singing] Don't let me fall apart

[singing] Know me

[singing] Remember who I was

[singing] Don't you know my dear

[singing] That you're the one I love.

[singing] And don't you know my love

[singing] That your fears break my heart.

[singing] I wanna hold you

- Don't hurt me.

[singing] I won't let you fall apart.

[singing] Let me know you

- I'm trying.

[singing] Remember who we were

[singing] Don't leave me

- That's what he did, Dad.

- Mary, I know I don't deserve this,

but I'm asking for another chance.

- Where did that come from?

Isn't that yours?

- We decided that it's probably best

to wait a little while longer.

We're not in a rush.

- Plus Dad gave me like

three times what I paid for it, so...

- Had to be done.

- Did you say three?

- Yes, I will.

[uplifting music]

- And then they slobbered on one another, and here we are.

- [Dr. Gallagher] So what now?

- I don't know.

I have to move out, that's for sure.

- [Dr. Gallagher] And Lydia?

- What about her?

- [Dr. Gallagher] Have you thought about trying to find her?

- There's gotta be more than one girl out there, doc.

- [Dr. Gallagher] That's a very good attitude to have, Jack.

Stay optimistic.

[uplifting music]

- That this day is actually happening.

It's so great to see Aunt Thelma.

- And then she says to me, "Please, give me back my dog."

[laughs]

May the best man win!

[shutter clicking]

- So you are following me?

- What are you doing here?

- Oh, just coming to take pictures

of the man who saved my life.

I'm the wedding photographer.

- Of course you are.

- So, how have you been?

- Good.

You?

- Really?

Wow, thank you for being so specific.

- I am, I am.

I'm working with my Dad, I'm finally finishing up school.

What about you?

How's married life treating you?

Got any kids yet?

- Yep, four boys.

Your face is priceless.

No, I didn't end up getting married.

- Interesting.

Why is that?

- Oh, not because of you or anything, that's for sure.

No, I guess I didn't wanna see the signs at first,

then I got home the next day

and my dog had eaten about half of my wedding dress,

and had to have his stomach pumped.

- I am so sorry.

- You know, girls just like to know

they're gonna be taken care of.

That he's always gonna come to the rescue.

[phone ringing]

- One sec.

Hello.

No, that's fine.

Yep.

Okay.

Love you too.

Bye.

- Your girlfriend?

- Fiance.

I'm just kidding, it was my cousin.

- Very clever.

- Okay, here it is.

[clears throat]

It's been well over a year,

and I still find you

intriguing.

- And attractive.

Don't forget attractive.

- Is it safe to say, based on the kicked puppy expression

you just gave,

that you feel the same?

- Maybe.

- All right, never mind.

- Okay, wait, yes.

- Say you find me intriguing.

- I find you intriguing.

- And attractive.

Don't forget attractive.

- And mildly attractive.

- What do you say,

what do you say we do this right?

A real date sometime.

- I'd like that.

- Who is this, Jack?

- This is my friend, Lydia, Grandpa.

No, we really are just friends right now,

but we are

fond of each other.

No, Grandpa, we're fond of each...

Fondling, fondling.

So a date sometime.

- A date sometime.

[laughs]

[mic feedback squealing]

- Anyone who knows me,

knows I haven't always been the poster child for marriage.

I've lived most of my life not bein' the greatest husband,

or father for that matter.

However, through an extraordinary,

strange series of events,

about a year and a half ago,

a series of events that truly made Alexa

a part of this family,

I learned something life changing.

I believe there's a running joke in this world

that says love is a pursuit

that is accomplished on your wedding day.

Well, it's not.

Love is a constant pursuit.

The feelings of this day, Joel And Alexa,

they will fade.

One morning you're going wake up,

and you're not gonna feel like loving that person,

but that's what you've agreed to do here today.

You've agreed that every morning you wake up,

that you'll make the choice to love that person,

whether you want to or not.

And whether or not they deserve it.

Because, if you don't Joel,

I'm gonna punch you in the mouth.

[audience applauding]

Let's do this.

[rock music]

- What do you think?

Pretty good, right?

- [Dr. Gallagher] Yes, Jack.

She's even prettier than you described.

- I know, right!

So much better in person.

- I'm Lydia.

- Yeah, she is.

- [Dr. Gallagher] So how's everything going, Jack?

It's been a while.

- Good, it's been really good.

My Dad finally decided to take the offer

to take over the camp.

- [Dr. Gallagher] Oh, that's great.

- Yeah, yeah, we've all been working there

probably a year now, somewhere in there, about a year.

Is work the right word?

[yelling]

[rock music]

- That's not how this works.

You keep your shoes on.

[mumbling]

- [Dr. Gallagher] Is there anything else?

- No.

Don't.

[mumbling] If you love me you won't say anything.

- I'm sorry.

Yes, actually.

Last week we got engaged.

- [Dr. Gallagher] Oh, congratulations.

- Thank you, we're very excited.

Unfortunately, when we went to go tell his parents,

we ran into a little bit of a problem.

[birds chirping]

- Dad paint the house?

- You seriously couldn't find any other shoes to wear?

- Don't try to change me.

Just love me.

[laughing]

- Miss Tucker, I forgot to pay my bill.

[laughing]

[birds chirping]

- Breathe, babe.

[rhythmic breathing]

- You just can't unsee that, doc.

You just can't.

[rock music]

[lively rock music]