Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1}{1}23.978 {1990}{2101}The capital of North Dakota is|named after what German ruler? {2106}{2144}-Hitler!|-North Dakota? {2149}{2173}Bismarck. {2179}{2246}-Hitler?|-I'm still beating you, boy. {2261}{2357}The colors of the Italian flag|are red, white and what? {2361}{2397}-Blue. Red.|-Green. {2402}{2428}-Black, green. {2432}{2484}-Green.|-I was right! {2494}{2598}We'll be right back with more|Grade School Challenge. {2603}{2680}I used to think hair loss|was inevitable. {2685}{2782}I found Dimoxinil,|the breakthrough in hair regrowth. {2788}{2866}Breakthrough?|There's been a breakthrough?! {2872}{2989}Dimoxinil can help me grow as|much or as little hair as I want to. {2998}{3055}Hey, today I'm gonna do it. {3062}{3151}For your free brochure,|send $5 to Dimoxinil. {3156}{3271}Hair. Hair.|Just like everybody else. {3372}{3436}Some women find bald men|quite virile. {3443}{3533}Weren't you listening?|This is a breakthrough. {3540}{3611}Not one of|these cheap-o sucker deals. {3711}{3791}Allow me to present the Dimoxinil|action set. {3797}{3956}A six-month supply of the drug, gravity|boots, scalp massager and a T-shirt. {3961}{4024}-Great. How much?|-$1000. {4029}{4098}A thousand bucks? I can't afford that! {4104}{4206}We do have a product which|is more in your price range. {4213}{4320}However, any hair growth|while using it will be coincidental. {4338}{4459}A thousand bucks. Of all the rip-off|screw job, cheap joint.... {4508}{4601}Forget you, pal.|Thanks for nothing. {4611}{4709}So I say, "Forget you, pal.|Thanks for nothing." {4714}{4782}-I storm right out.|-That's telling them. {4792}{4880}Out of tartar sauce.|They call this a portion? {4886}{4989}Are you gonna use your sauce?|Dry fish sticks! This sucks. {4995}{5103}-Stop whining, chrome dome.|-lf I had hair, you wouldn't say that. {5108}{5149}Homer, don't be a sap. {5154}{5262}Fill out some insurance forms.|Charge Dimoxinil to the company. {5268}{5335}It's $1000.|Burns would can my butt. {5341}{5388}Oh, $1000. So what? {5395}{5465}So he has one less ivory|back scratcher. {5470}{5554}You pay into the insurance fund.|What do you get? {5559}{5602}Nothing. The newsletter. {5607}{5718}Why get nothing while a guy who|loses a finger hits the jackpot? {5723}{5757}You got me. {5762}{5882}I'd like to charge that Dimoxinil|stuff to my health insurance. {5889}{5948}I don't know who|put you up to this... {5956}{6075}...but no insurance plan covers|something as frivolous as Dimoxinil! {6143}{6257}Meet me in the alley in 15 minutes.|Come alone. {6777}{6847}Dear God, give a bald guy a break.|Amen. {7399}{7465}I have hair. I have hair! {7488}{7518}I have hair! {7558}{7595}Look, look! {7602}{7691}Morning, Springfield.|Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Winfield. {7704}{7755}Get a haircut, you hippie! {7761}{7865}-Good morning, Moe's Tavern!|-It's the president. {7877}{7945}-Good morning, everybody.|-Good morning. {7966}{8059}Good morning, everybody!|Good morning, Springfield! {8082}{8135}Dimoxinil! {8745}{8853}Homer Simpson!|You haven't been here in 20 years. {8858}{8964}-You got rid of the sideburns.|-Give me the usual. {8977}{9026}He's much happier at work. {9031}{9137}Just between us girls,|he hasn't been this frisky in years. {9143}{9256}-I don't want to think about it.|-Daddy's home, sugar. {9348}{9387}Come here, you. {9393}{9454}Homie, my sisters are here. {9459}{9554}Dinner with three beautiful women.|I must be in heaven. {9558}{9591}This is Homer? {9615}{9686}-Patty, stop drooling.|-Look who's talking. {9815}{9880}You look different, Homer.|Lose weight? {9889}{9932}You got a tan. {9937}{9993}I know what it is, a new tie. {9998}{10099}Pathetic morons in my employ,|stealing my precious money. {10105}{10178}None of these cretins|deserves a promotion. {10184}{10279}It's in the union contract.|One token promotion per year. {10285}{10353}Wait. Who is that young go-getter? {10359}{10462}Looks like Homer Simpson,|only more dynamic and resourceful. {10467}{10589}Simpson? An unspoiled lump|of clay to mold in my own image. {10605}{10693}Our new junior executive!|Bring him to me. {10705}{10809}Homer Simpson, you've been|promoted. You're now an executive. {10815}{10880}Take three minutes to say goodbye... {10885}{10984}...and report to room 503|for reassignment to a better life. {11076}{11198}Your "resume" seems in order.|Do you have any specialties? {11203}{11285}Backrubs for harried executives.|I'll show you. {11291}{11363}No, that will be fine.|Thank you, goodbye. {11397}{11471}-Hello.|-How's my big, important executive? {11476}{11596}Oh, Marge. Every woman I interview|makes kissy faces at me. {11606}{11668}Hello, Mr. Simpson. I'm Karl. {11675}{11737}-Hire him.|-I'll call you back. {11743}{11815}Meeting in the board room|tomorrow at 2. {11821}{11893}-Sit there and keep your mouth shut.|-Yes. {11898}{11936}He thinks he's so big. {11942}{12039}You don't belong here.|You don't belong here. {12053}{12145}You're a fraud and a phony,|and they'll find you out. {12150}{12188}-Who told you?|-You did. {12193}{12276}With the way you talk|into your chest... {12281}{12376}...the way you smother|yourself in lime-green polyester. {12382}{12470}I want you to say to|yourself, "I deserve this. {12477}{12563}I love it.|I am nature's greatest miracle." {12569}{12603}Go ahead, say it. {12608}{12650}Trust me, Homer. {12656}{12717}-Say it!|-I deserve it. {12723}{12754}-Louder.|-I deserve it! {12760}{12842}-Shout it.|-I am nature's greatest miracle! {12849}{12931}-Three weeks' vacation plus expenses.|-You got it! {12936}{13003}Let's go shopping. {13132}{13172}Beauty. {13177}{13244}A man's suit should|make him a prince. {13249}{13290}It should cry out: {13295}{13359}"Here I am. Don't judge me,|love me." {13365}{13434}-Do any of these suits do that?|-No. {13475}{13510}I like this. {13518}{13640}No, no. Stand naturally, Mr. Simpson.|Let it all hang out. {13654}{13696}You, conceal it. {13831}{13905}-Mom and Dad have been kissing.|-Gotta run. {13914}{14021}-Happy anniversary, Homer.|-Our anniversary, are you sure? {14025}{14112}Don't worry, this year you|have an excuse. {14117}{14194}-With your job and--|-Happy anniversary. {14486}{14510}Homer! {14524}{14594}-Hello?|-Mr. Simpson, it's Karl. {14603}{14681}Sounds like everything's arrived.|Wonderful. {14690}{14767}-You did this?|-I didn't overstep my bounds? {14919}{15038}-I love you, Homer!|-I love you, Karl-- Marge. {15043}{15138}-Proceed, Smithers.|-Our first issue is low productivity... {15144}{15235}-...and high accident rate.|-Any suggestions? {15240}{15329}-A round of layoffs.|-Caffeine in the water cooler. {15334}{15411}Those are my ideas.|You people don't think! {15416}{15484}I promoted someone in touch|with workers. {15490}{15525}-You!|-You mean him. {15531}{15607}You. How would you|improve the situation? {15615}{15671}Well, sir, for one thing... {15676}{15760}...we had a problem with|fish sticks at lunch. {15766}{15908}-What are you talking about?|-They chop up the fish into sticks-- {15913}{15995}I know what they are!|Get to the point. {15999}{16100}You only get this tiny cup of sauce,|and I always run out. {16109}{16165}-Stop wasting our time.|-Shut up! {16170}{16251}Can't you see?|A happy worker is a busy worker. {16255}{16347}Three cents' worth of sauce could|save us hours in labor. {16353}{16409}I like the cut of your jib. {16416}{16503}Let the fools have their tartar sauce. {16515}{16575}Enjoy your tartar sauce, boys. {16580}{16690}Give me your plate. Don't crowd.|Plenty for everybody! {16740}{16764}Brilliant! {16768}{16877}Who could've imagined that|reforms would pay off so quickly? {16901}{17015}Accidents decreased by the number|Simpson is known to have caused. {17021}{17098}Output is just as|high during his last holiday. {17102}{17219}My dear, tired old Smithers.|Do I detect a note of jealousy? {17249}{17325}It is time.|Give Simpson... {17330}{17358}...the key. {17366}{17448}Don't sit on that filthy|thing one second longer. {17454}{17518}They've given you the key. {17525}{17576}The key! {18005}{18118}Stunning. Absolutely stunning. {18161}{18318}I was watching the DuMont last night|and I caught a documentary on Rommel. {18323}{18400}A man who got things done.|Towel, Simpson. {18405}{18453}-Allow me.|-I said Simpson. {18466}{18530}Sure thing, Mr. Burns. {18535}{18612}Well done, Simpson.|Now, walk behind me. {18616}{18650}Can do, sir. {19378}{19492}" $1000. Dimoxinil.|To keep brain from freezing." {19498}{19567}Now I've got you, Simpson. {19683}{19805}Between your hair care and wardrobe,|we're not saving for a rainy day. {19809}{19880}Rainy day? There's never|gonna be one. {19885}{19988}There's not a cloud in the sky.|What does my little girl want? {19994}{20079}An absence of mood swings|and stability in my life. {20089}{20131}-How about a pony?|-Okay! {20149}{20237}I want you to weave your|magic with my executives. {20243}{20318}-A short speech, "Work. Work. Work."|-Okay. {20324}{20403}Excellent. Set you|to your task, Simpson. {20455}{20504}It's my sad duty to report... {20509}{20592}...an executive has|bilked you out of $1000. {20598}{20668}What? Blast his hide to Hades! {20676}{20763}And I was going to buy|that ivory backscratcher. {20768}{20825}-How?|-He charged Dimoxinil. {20829}{20903}-It's a baldness cure.|-Thank you, professor. {20908}{21013}I know what it is.|Make an example of this hooligan. {21019}{21059}With pleasure, sir. {21081}{21196}You've got to help me. Mr. Burns|wants me to make a speech. {21201}{21292}-What do you want?|-I came by to tell you you're fired. {21302}{21393}Our company doesn't look kindly upon|insurance fraud. {21398}{21449}Clean out your desk by noon. {21458}{21560}Wait, Mr. Smithers. Homer Simpson|is innocent. I did this. {21565}{21607}What are you saying? {21613}{21711}Mr. Simpson was unaware.|I take full responsibility. {21719}{21836}Really? Well then, you're fired.|Whoever you are. {21842}{21895}Here's your $1000. {21911}{22059}-What do you care if this guy's bald?|-My reasons are my own. {22067}{22141}Karl, you saved me. Why? {22146}{22248}Have I done something extraordinary|here today? No. {22256}{22407}I did what any soldier would do when|a grenade threatens his commander. {22414}{22518}I threw myself upon it and bore its|terrible brunt. {22530}{22620}Thanks, Karl.|I don't know what to say. {22626}{22677}Just walk me to my car. {22717}{22837}-Bye, Karl. I'm gonna miss you.|-Bye, Mr. Simpson. {22934}{23038}-Did you bring an umbrella today?|-D'oh! No. {23045}{23071}Here. {23307}{23399}You're broke. You don't have Karl.|He's not here. {23404}{23447}But you've got your hair. {23452}{23496}Oh, that big speech! {23787}{23858}-Hey, what's happening, hepcats?|-No way. {23867}{23915}It's gotta be a fake. {23927}{23989}It's like reals-ville, daddy-o. {24109}{24143}What are you doing? {24200}{24228}You little--! {24281}{24335}Now I've got you! {24357}{24397}Boy must die! {24407}{24457}I love you, Dad. {24490}{24542}Dirty trick. I won't kill you. {24548}{24656}But I'll tell you three|things that will haunt you forever. {24663}{24792}You've ruined me, you've crippled your|family and baldness is hereditary! {24798}{24833}It is? {24951}{25057}-Why don't you call the pharmacy?|-I don't have $1000! {25062}{25148}But you do.|You've been squirreling it away. {25154}{25210}Saving it for a rainy day, right? {25298}{25382}Dad's taking this in a|less than heroic fashion. {25640}{25717}Oh, Homie. I'm so sorry. {25757}{25874}Got that speech in five minutes.|You're not going to hang yourself? {25993}{26028}Dear Mr. Simpson... {26033}{26127}...I've prepared your speech|on 3-by-5 cards. {26132}{26224}-The big words are spelled phonetically.|-"Phonetically." {26229}{26351}God bless you. You are one of|Springfield's special creatures. {26377}{26479}Your obedient servant, Karl.|Good luck, sir. {26484}{26556}That wasn't just a voice|inside my head. {26561}{26646}-Why are you here?|-I came to say bye to the gals. {26652}{26756}Thanks for the speech.|But I can't give it. Look at me. {26761}{26826}-I haven't taught you anything!|-What? {26831}{26937}The tartar sauce, the bathroom key,|drying your boss's hands. {26941}{27056}It was never the hair. You did it,|because you believed you could. {27062}{27120}-I'm a big fool.|-No, you're not. {27126}{27236}-How do you know?|-Mother taught me never to kiss a fool. {27243}{27326}-Karl.|-Now go get them, tiger. {27384}{27506}And now with some insights, one|of the stars of our nuclear family... {27519}{27547}...Homer Simpson. {27606}{27708}Who is that old geezer?|What's he done with Homer Simpson? {27713}{27767}He is Homer Simpson, sir. {27804}{27874}You'd think I was crazy if I did this. {27879}{27973}-He's crazy!|-Yet this company does this every day. {27978}{28060}Bloated inventory,|outmoded production methods. {28065}{28146}I can save this company millions|a year. How? {28151}{28226}Jiko Kanri, the art|of self-management. {28235}{28339}-This bald man has no ideas.|-lf it's a joke, I'm not laughing. {28344}{28432}Telling us how to run things.|He doesn't have hair. {28437}{28539}Mining uranium that could be|purchased on foreign markets. {28545}{28627}The long-term benefits more than... {28633}{28738}...offsetting the one-time cost,|for a net savings of $5-- {28745}{28786}Lots of money. {28790}{28853}Mr. Burns' office, right now. {28920}{28961}Dead man coming through. {28966}{29075}Well, well. Our dashing, young|junior executive. {29082}{29205}You made a mockery of our meeting.|I should fire you on the spot! {29215}{29307}-But I'm not going to.|-Why? {29314}{29407}-How old do you think I am?|-I don't know. 102? {29416}{29462}I'm only 81. {29469}{29583}You may find this hard|to believe, but in my salad days... {29589}{29692}...my glory was a bright|shock of strawberry blond curls. {29698}{29789}I was big man on campus until|my senior year... {29794}{29867}...when I became as bald|as a plucked chicken. {29873}{29991}I too know the sting|of male pattern baldness. {30009}{30082}That's why I'm giving you|your old job back. {30089}{30142}What? Oh, thank you. {30155}{30219}Get out of here before I reconsider. {30224}{30257}Better hurry up. {30344}{30449}-Are you still awake?|-I've never been more awake in my life. {30453}{30506}-What's wrong?|-Are you kidding? {30512}{30619}I'm stuck in a dead-end job again.|The kids will hate me... {30624}{30702}...because I can't buy the stuff|I promised. {30707}{30817}And you're not going to love|me because I'm ugly and bald. {30822}{30929}Oh, Homer. Your job has always put|food on our table. {30935}{31058}-And the kids will get over it.|-And? What about loving me? {31067}{31150}-Oh, Homer. Come here.|-What? {31155}{31201}Come here. 14915