Original subtitles

'I'll be gone about a week.

'Oh, by the way I brought a pillow.'

Oh, well let's see... Mitchell, Joan.

Oh, you've been here before so you know.

But just for the record, dining room, kitchen, fully stocked.

And this is Billy.

He fixes things, does the gardening.

Delivers groceries, liquor, medicine, mail.

Sells brushes, vacuum cleaners, etc, etc...

Oh, he does the gardening, the painting, etc, etc...

Oh, you've never wanted the 'etc.'. Well, maybe this time.

You've really to get with it, Mrs. Mitchell.

You know it's later then you think and all that. And Billy's great.

Through here, the garage. And the den, with a sewing corner and books.

All the latest. And television, three sets -

the den, in here and upstairs.

With... special programming designed to give you ideas.

In case you should run out of ideas.

And the ladies, of course.

You look beautiful! Oh, I love your hair!

They're available for luncheons and teas and bridge etc, etc, etc...

- Oh, you're big and gorgeous. - ...shopping, visiting...

and upstairs.

Oh, your daughter.

Your daughter's room.

Bath, pills and things. Supplies in the cabinet.

Bedroom with everything you need.

Walk-in closet. All the nowest clothes.

Jewelry and check books.

Oh, and the phone number,

for doctors, police, priests, neighbors, stores.

And let's see... etc, etc...

I guess that's about everything.

Oh, don't forget to pay the bills. Have a good day.

Oh, are you up, hon?

Have a good day, hon.

Dreams... what are they?

Truth is something that's very difficult to live with.

And because of this, we spend a great deal of our time covering it.

But truth will out and we dream.

The least qualified person

to understand a dream, is the dreamer.

Which brings us to you.

Daughter's grown up, doesn't need a mother anymore.

Husband is active, deeply involved in his business.

You feel isolated, uninvolved.

You feel imprisoned, trapped.

But actually, the only person imprisoning Joanie is Joan.

- She's a witch. - She speaks very highly of you, Shirl.

No, really I mean it. An honest to God witch.

- You're joking! - I'm not joking either.

The whole bell, book and candle routine.

I always said she was weird. What does she do?

I mean she's into it, the whole thing.

I know. Isn't it wild?

I have this image of Marion Hamilton, running around naked, killing ghosts.

She says a lot of that stuff's hogwash.

But they do have meetings and ceremonies.

It's like a religion with them.

My next party's all planned. Why didn't you have her tonight, Shirl?

Well, I asked her but she couldn't come.

Oh, probably off dancing in the circles.

How's the moon tonight?

Shirl, from you I need an adjective.

An adjective? Oh, Christ.

- Fantastic, I just can't... - I know. Isn't it wild?

- Give me an adjective. - Oh, hell...

- Sexy. - Sexy? OK.

- When do I meet her? Come on. - Joanie, baby, a noun.

- A noun? - I can't believe she could be a witch.

Oh, John. Come on, that's not fair.

- All's fair in love and mad-libs. - Oh, come on. Let me give you...

The first word that pops into your mind... God.

- Sylvia. - You're a fake, John Fuller.

A noun. A plural noun.

- A plural noun. - Plural noun? Tits.

You said it, I didn't.

- Joanie, can I get you another drink? - No thanks.

- How about you, Syl? - I always want another drink.

Hey, Larry. Sylvia needs a hit.

Hey, everybody!

Come on, we're going to have a dirty reading.

Quiet!

Shh, quiet now. We're going... sit still.

We're going to do the reading of this great, epic masterpiece

that we have just put together. Shut up.

OK, this is a reading of "My Favorite Television Program".

Are you ready? My favorite television program is the one

- where Jack Mitchell... - Oh!

- Jack Mitchell works at the dog pound. - Absolutely!

With the aid of his trusty sidekick, Liberace...

...brings Catholicism to evil-doers,

and intercourse to a lawless town.

'How long will you be away?'

'Oh, I guess about a week.'

Jack?

Mm?

I think we're doing OK.

Yeah, we're doing all right, kid.

Oh, my God!

Jeez, Joanie, you scared the hell out of me.

Why don't you just get back to sleep?

I got to leave.

Say, I wonder what time Nik got in last night.

You know, one of these days that kid's going to get in trouble.

Oh, she's old enough to take care of herself.

You... just get back to sleep.

'I'm paying my own dentist bills.'

- 'What do you mean?' - New edict.

I don't take care of my teeth, so I've got to pay my own dentist bills.

- When did all this happen? - The other morning.

Nik, you know he's not going to hold you to that.

That's ridiculous. He just wants you to take care of yourself.

That's OK. So long as it's not his responsibility,

he'll stop bugging me about it.

He respects that and I respect it. It's OK, I guess.

- That's not the point. - Of course, it isn't.

The point is that my teeth are not about to rot out of my head

because I don't use an electric toothbrush.

Hey, you really look good.

Well...

I guess you never really think of your mother as having a great body.

You really look good.

Wow.

Well!

- I gotta go. - See you tonight?

Yeah.

Mary here yet?

No, I don't think so.

- No, she's not here yet, Mom. - OK, hon'.

I wonder how many women, well let's say wives...

How many wives actually do get involved?

Oh, I don't know.

I've thought about it.

- I really have thought about it. - Anyone I know?

Oh no, it's no one specific.

It was just the idea of thinking about it.

- Kind of academic. - Good God, Joanie!

You're a Catholic, sweetie.

Isn't an academic thought just as bad as doing it for you people?

Just thinking about it makes me feel guilty.

Like I'm hiding something from Jack.

Hey, maybe Marion can fix us up with a man-getting potion.

We can black market it and turn 3 million in Collinsburg alone.

I wish you hadn't said anything about Marion to Syl and the rest of them.

- I know what you mean. - Well, with me going and...

Oh, hell. I figure a witch for an exhibition is first order.

I still think it's kind of scary.

If the mousse tastes chalky, don't eat it.

- What? - You know, the "Rosemary's Baby" bit.

You're the first reluctant person I've ever heard admit to being afraid.

I could write a book on some of the excuses people give

when you offer a tarot reading.

Well, that's because it's the real thing.

Well, yes, something like that, I suppose.

You know actually, the playing cards

are just descendants of the old tarot cards.

That's really wild. I didn't know that.

- They're so different. - Well, some of them are.

The major trumps for example, they're easier to read.

They have more information.

I have some that are marvelously done.

Really quite beautiful.

They're strange.

Some people feel that way at first. I find them pretty.

I'm not trying to sell you, Joan.

You're perfectly welcome to just be curious and visit.

- I'm so embarrassed. - Oh, don't be silly.

- I wish I had a hundred like you. - You do?

'Cause I have five hundred.

I'm just joking.

At the risk of embarrassing you further, Joan, I did bring some extra cash along.

These women that run around without their purses.

Actually, I'd rather not have cash.

I'd like you to just go home and put something in an envelope.

Whatever it's worth to you.

Oh, and... don't make it a check or anything that will identify you.

I'd rather not know where it comes from.

I suppose you both think that I'm being very noble

but I'm being rather mercenary.

I think people are more generous that way.

And I've never had to worry

about people not sending me something

because... I guess they're afraid not to.

That's beautiful.

As a Sagittarius, the strength of The Emperor here

is even stronger for you.

hope, light and harmony.

The Star always brings hope.

Hope may not be fulfilled.

But hope will exist.

The changes are all adverse. All indicate failure.

But, they're all specific and classically related.

Romantic love has failed,

possibly brought about by your own stubbornness.

A dark haired woman is involved.

Strength and hope keep you armed through all this,

while not changing things for the better,

making things bearable.

- Does it fit? - Jesus.

I'd say it's very little relation to you

as you are in a general sense.

It definitely points to a particular situation.

One dominant situation that must very nearly

totally occupy all your thoughts.

- Wow. - I take it it does fit. Does it help?

I don't know. I don't know what it does.

It could be just a fluke, couldn't it?

It's so easy to read your particular situation.

But like you say, it's so specific.

- Yes. - Sort of makes you a believer.

You'd know better than I whether it's accurate.

Well then, what is it? What does it do?

- Well, it's this way... - I'm sorry, I know I must sound...

No, that's all right. It's a religion really.

My... mother was a witch.

And... my father belonged.

So it was really quite simple for me.

And, of course, in today's age, with anything goes,

a lot of people are beginning to take it seriously.

When I was a child, I was taught certain recipes and incantations.

Then I was sworn to secrecy.

Today I could just go down to the bookstore

and find a paperback primer for witches.

Mail order houses will supply you

with the necessary ingredients and tools of the trade.

- Tools of the trade?! - You know, funny black hats...

Yeah, I see. Yeah.

I honestly think that everyone, underneath their prejudices,

knows that there's something out there...

...that we haven't got the power to define.

'Nikki must have some of her friends with her.'

'Gregg, this is Shirley Randolph.'

- 'Hello.' - Gregg Williamson.

- And, this is my mother... - Oh, but we've met.

- We have? - Yeah, trying to think.

- The university or... - Are you a student there, Gregg?

- Student teacher. - What department?

- Sociology. - I don't remember...

- Oh Joanie, the fix-up thing. - What's that?

You know, the community fix-up thing.

Oh, the pitch-in program.

- Yeah, the pitch-in program. - Did you work on that?

Oh, I was... I was just...

Sure, that must be it. I was kind of roped into it myself.

But I don't remember.

Well, maybe we just saw each other around.

Could be, but... I really wasn't around the campus.

- I was... - In the field. Yes, so was I.

Community relations kind of thing. Oh man, what a fiasco.

- It was rather ambitious. - What were you?

- I was a painter. - Great.

As if we don't pay enough in taxes,

we have to clean up their homes for them.

Don't you think that's sort of misguided?

The motives were good. The methods fucked it up.

Shirley, what are you drinking?

And what about voodoo?

Voodoo only works because people believe it works.

You meet a guy who believes in the power of voodoo or something.

He knows that 'X' has been put on him. He worries himself to death.

That's how these casts work. They put the voodoo on you,

they make sure you know you've been voodooed.

I mean, they send you the sign or stick pins in a doll or something,

make sure you know about it and your mind does the rest.

- It's all a mind trip. - Oh, come on!

How can you kill yourself by just that?

You know, by... by just thinking about it?

What do you mean? You think yourself into a ulcer, don't you?

People worry themselves into heart attacks.

There's a goddamned good chance people think themselves into cancer.

- Stay drunk, people. - Stay stoned. It's all a head thing.

OK, now you're talking about ESP, mental telepathy, that kind of thing.

- Yeah. - Clairvoyance. That kind of thing?

No, but I'm talking about a real physical thing,

whether it's some kind of radio signal or whatever.

I'm not talking about that crystal ball mumbo-jumbo...

You say you have to believe it strongly enough.

- For it to have any effect on you. - Well, I'm a witch, right?

- OK. - And I do my mumbo-jumbo, right?

- Well, I hope not. - No, I'm serious.

- Sex without love. - OK.

So, I'm the witch. I do my thing, and if I believe it strongly enough, it'll work...

- Well... - ...according to your theory.

You can't say no.

Now, you're talking about moving the scissors by thinking about it, right?

How can you say that's impossible?

- I can't say it's impossible but I doubt it. - How can you say that?

- What can I tell you? - Say it isn't so.

Look, nobody knows. I mean, who knows?

I feel it.

I feel it. Somebody is voodooing me.

Oh, where does it hurt? Come on, tell us where it hurts.

- It hurts... - It hurts in your gut, right?

- I told you your guts were going to rot. - I have to find your powder room.

I have to get rid of this voodoo.

I've got to find your powder room so I can get rid of this terrible curse.

Wow, she's really zonked.

Well, we really should be going. I should be getting her home.

She's incredible.

- Well, you were really rotten to her. - I wasn't rotten to her.

- Yes, you were. - I wasn't rotten to her!

- She's rotten to herself. - Well, so she has hang ups.

- Oh, hang ups, Jesus. - Look, that's just the way she is.

Oh, now will you come off that?

I mean, that's just a cop out, Nik. Establishment's victim?

Jesus, she's got life in her.

She's just too damned uptight to do what she wants to do with it, right?

I mean, she's your friend. Am I right?

It's just that she's going through a difficult thing right now.

What the hell!

- Gregg. What are you doing? - I'm going to turn her on.

Oh, come on now, Gregg. That's really dumb.

No.

I'm going to give you an opportunity to see the power of the mind.

- She smoke? - No.

- What...? - Just gonna slip her a little grass.

Hey, wait a minute. That's mean.

What's mean? We're not really going to do it but she won't know that.

Oh, come on. It'll blow her mind.

Precisely the idea, Watson.

Now wait a minute, Gregg. I'm not going to let you do that.

- Why not? - Shirley is a friend of mine and...

I'm not going to stand by and see her humiliated.

It won't be humiliating, it'll be revealing.

- Gregg, I think it's really dirty. - I won't let you do it!

What's the difference? I mean, she said herself.

She's bored and looking for kicks. She's proud of it, for Christ's sake.

We're just going to make her think

that she's had the biggest kick she's ever had. It can help her, really.

But that's not why you're doing this. You're doing it to make fun of her.

You know it might help you a little too.

- What do you mean by that? - You mean you're not curious?

Curious about what?!

Curious about grass. Curious about the effects of grass.

You're putting me on.

We're gonna try it. You ever try it?

- You're putting me on. - I'm turning you on.

You're putting me on. Where did you get that stuff?

Nikki's growing a patch out in the backyard.

- Come on, you're putting me on. - Yeah, he's putting you on. He's a brat.

- Oh, sure. - Your lovely sweetie, sweetheart.

You'll never see your daughter alive again.

- How do you grow it? - Doesn't everybody?

Could you reach the lighter over there?

You're putting me on.

It's really easy. All you got to do is take a real deep drag

and hold it in as long as you can, right?

Joanie, your parties are really getting swingier all the time.

Come on. Just take a drag, inhale it.

That's it. That's it.

Let the bird of paradise crap on your head.

Oh!

Oh, God. That's wild!

Come on, Joanie! You said you were going to try it.

- Oh, that's OK. - Come on, Joanie!

- There's plenty more. - Sure.

Come on. Can you feel it?

Joanie, I may have to spend the night at your house.

Oh, I'm sure she...

Shirley, would you do something for me? I want you to count.

Count? Erm... One, two, three...

No, no. OK. Backwards. Can you count backwards?

- One... - No, Shirley. Count backwards from...

One minus one... Two minus, erm...

Erm... two minus...

Two minus two and counting.

Two minus two. All systems go and counting.

Blast off!

- OK, just relax now. - Oh, my God. My heart's beating fast.

This thing is really powerful...

- Gregg! Stop it! - Now come on, Shirley.

- Gregg, that's about enough! - No, no. It's OK.

She's just beginning to get into it. This is wild.

- Just like the real... - Oh, good grief.

I mean, this is really something.

You're not going to worry, right?

- Never. - Right, right! Never.

You're never going to worry about anything.

- Are you worried about something? - No.

- You worried about something? - No.

- Yes, you are, Shirley. What is it? - I'm worried about my heart, damn it!

I'm telling you there's nothing to worry about.

I'm no young chicken, I mean...

Joanie's a young chicken but I'm no young...

Are you worried about your age?

- Age before beauty. - Come on, now! How old are you?

- I don't like you. - How old?

- Come on. How old? - Older than you!

- How old, Shirley? How old? - Past the prime, OK?

- Who told you that? - What do you mean, who told me?

- Where did you get that idea? - Can't you see?

Can't you look and see? I mean... look!

OK. OK. But does that bother you?

Oh, no. No, it doesn't bother me.

- But you know what it does? - What?

It pisses me off!

Gregg!

Why does it piss you off? Why? Come on!

- Because I'm not finished yet. - What do you mean?

- I'm not finished with... - With what?

- Come on, Shirley. With what? - I want to do things.

Stop this!

I want to do something besides...

- Besides what? - Gregg, you've got to stop this now!

- Besides what? - Shirley, are you OK?

Damn you!

Shirley, we're going up now. Come on.

- Don't be ridiculous. - I want you to stop this right now.

- I really feel weak. - Look, it's OK. Relax.

I'm speaking to you, you freak.

- Now listen. - I ought to take you out and...

- And what? - Come on, Gregg.

- I could say something to you. - I'm sure you could.

I could tell you why you are reacting this way.

Because I'm furious. Is that good enough?

- It'll have to be, won't it? - Gregg, come on.

- You OK, Shirl? - That's just a stimulant.

You know, I'm not supposed to take stimulants.

It wasn't real stuff.

I'm not kidding you. It wasn't real stuff.

Then what's this in my brain? Smog?!

Must be.

I'm sorry, Shirley.

It was a stupid thing to do and... I'm sorry.

Oh, boy.

Boy, it shows you how tight my head's screwed on.

- Come on. I'll call Larry. - Joan, give me a little...

Wow!

Presumptuous little bastard!

Oh, hey Joanie...

If you don't mind, I think I'd better go home.

- No. Why don't you stay? - Hey, why don't come over there?

- No, I don't think so. - Yeah, come on over.

I mean, Larry won't be able to jump all over me if you're there.

Oh, come on!

I mean, we can have lots of fun tomorrow.

- Please Joanie, come on! - OK.

- You sure you want me? - Yeah, come on.

- OK. - Well, hurry, will you?

I'll just be a minute.

Hurry.

Hey.

You, er... Should I say anything to her?

I asked you to leave.

I left and I came back.

- Look, I wanted to... - Do you know, you're...

- You're an egomaniac. - You're paranoid. So we're even.

- Let's stop calling each other names. - Look, young man...

Look, lady, I am not trying to put the make on you.

- What? - You don't have to turn me off so hard.

- You don't have to compete with me. - Why, you...

Look, that is a silly flapped out old lady.

She's exactly what makes this country ugly.

Now, don't tell me that you don't know that.

And don't tell me that you weren't with everything

- I was trying to do with her. - No, I wasn't.

- Oh... - It was cruel and insensitive and...

And I asked you to leave.

And I left and I came back to say I was sorry.

I don't know. I mean, I thought insensitivity was in.

I'm sorry, Mom.

We shouldn't have stayed.

- Are you seeing him, Nik? - On and off. It's no big thing.

Well...

Well, I guess I'll take Shirley home.

I'll probably stay over there all night.

- You'll be OK? - Sure.

You really ought to try it sometime, Joanie.

It's the newest thing...

...recognition of self.

- New concept in group therapy. - Hey, you know what I think?

How can anybody have so many opinions

without ever having done anything?

I'd like to know who in the hell you think you are.

You think it's so outlandish.

Well, you're getting there too, kid. Over the hill.

One of these days you're going to find yourself lying there

with some jackass between your legs.

Oh, but it's easier to hear it from flaky old Shirl.

Let flaky old Shirl just spill her guts

and tell the world what a poor cat she's become in her old age.

You may never have to admit to yourself

that you'd like to cut loose and do something.

How long have you been here?

That's beautiful, Mom. That's just really beautiful.

Her things are gone. She's gone!

Do you have any idea what the statistics are in runaway kids?

- Statistics? - And even more important,

what the statistics are on how many of them come back

after a couple of weeks when the accommodations turn out

to be not quite what they're cracked up to be?

- OK, so it's not my fault. Right? - Well.

Shall we buy that? It's not my fault.

- Do you buy it? - I'm worried about her. I...

I'm more worried about me than I'm...

...than I am about her. I'm worried about... me.

It's this... whole thing.

I'm worried about what's happening to me.

At last, I think we're getting somewhere.

I think that's a very healthy, sensible, honest reaction.

What's the matter with you anyway? Jesus!

I didn't know what I was doing.

- Your own goddamned daughter, Joan! - I didn't know what to do.

Your own goddamned daughter balled in the next room and you go with it,

because you didn't know how to handle it.

What the hell is that?

You are sick, woman.

You don't know how to handle it. I'll tell you how to handle it.

You kick some ass, damn it! You kick some ass!

Jesus Christ!

Do you have any relatives out of state where she might have gone?

No.

Nobody at all? Somebody in California, New York?

We had some business friends that moved to New York

- but I don't think that... - Let us do the thinking, Mr Mitchell.

Mrs. Mitchell, you mentioned seeing a car out front when you got home.

It was one of those little ones.

- Like a sports job. - Yeah.

- A Volkswagen? - No.

No, it was one of those new cars.

- A Pinto or... - Compact?

A little one like that. It had a funny back.

You don't know any of your daughter's friends that have a car like that?

- No, not that I know of. - These damn kids.

OK, in private.

- Thank you. - Taxpayer's prerogative.

Well, I...

I'm not going to say anything about what you did because...

...there's no use in it.

I haven't told anybody who you are because there's no use to that either.

That is unless Nikki's pregnant,

which seems to be her father's only concern in the matter.

Well, she's not.

- Are you sure? - What are the numbers?

92% sure.

Well, anyway, that's not why I came today.

I wanted to know if you knew where she is.

No.

Well, did she go to town?

- Is she in the city? - I don't know.

Didn't she say where she was going, what she was going to do?

- Did she want to be with you? - No, we weren't into that kind of thing.

- She just wanted to get out of there. - You weren't into that kind of thing?!

No, we weren't into that kind of thing at all.

We were friends.

Come on, don't give me that shocked routine, lady.

Isn't that the image you have of all us kids?

Just living up to the image.

Is that the way it is today?

I mean, really?

Is it so hard to buy?

- I can't understand it. - What's so hard to understand?

It's very rattling to somebody like me.

What does that mean?

It's hard for me to accept something like this.

It's hard for me to accept somebody like you.

Well, it's hard for me to see how I'm so abnormal.

Because I dig sex?

You're really something.

Those remarks you passed the other night.

You were really thinking about me...

- ...that way, weren't you? - What way?

- What way? Come on, say it! - I don't think that's very normal.

- What? Normal? - What kind of person do you think I am?

I told you the other night I wasn't trying to put the make on you and I meant it.

I couldn't even figure out how you got there, but you were there.

It was in your head, not mine.

It's in your head right now, Mrs. Robinson,

whether you know it or not. That's the way things are today.

You slob!

Look, just let me say, if you're interested, I'm not going to turn you off.

You conceited son of a bitch!

If you really feel that way about it, you can storm out of here, insulted.

But on the off chance that you're interested in that information, lady,

- I'm available. - You'll never know, Mister.

- One. - Zero.

Jack, is that you?

Operator, there's somebody trying to break in.

Please, hurry.

Stop it, Joan. Stop it. Stop it.

- Oh, Jack... - What the hell are you doing?

I don't... I don't know.

Hell, you just had a nightmare.

- It was so real. - You're telling me.

I've got the bruises to prove it. Jeez!

I'm sorry.

Why don't you go and get some hot milk and just go to sleep, will you?

Go to sleep.

Are you a witch?

Chalice, thurible, knives - they're all witches' tools, you know.

- I'm just interested in it. - You're kidding.

- I mean, I was just kidding. - Well, I'm just interested in it.

Hey, that is really great.

"Beans of fire, this charge I cast.

"In thy burning presence, no phantoms may last."

"Blade of steel, I conjure thee to cause all things as named by me.

"Blade of steel, I conjure thee to prevent such things as named by me."

Yeah?

Yeah.

What the hell does he mean by that?

Oh, he's a jerk. He's just a gold-plated jerk.

How the hell do I know what percentage of stock he's got?

Look, I sure as hell don't like him in there, calling the shots.

It really pisses me off, I'm telling you.

What are you gonna do about it? Philosophical attitude, my ass!

All right. I'll see you in Philly.

Son of a bitch.

Burns my butt! I'll kill you.

If that kid gets home when I'm gone, you tell her I'm gonna kick some ass.

Well, I got to get some ashes.

Jesus, I hope that church isn't crowded.

Nema.

Nema.

Live, morph, revile.

Do you realize that I had to be at the airport at dawn?

It wasn't even light out and I had to get up.

I'm sorry, Joanie. I shouldn't have hit you.

'Double. Your drink or your bed.'

'Both.'

- Pass. - One spade.

- Pass. - Two spades.

- Pass - Four.

- Yours. - Wait for me. You can't start by yourself.

- How long is Jackie gone, Joanie? - About a week.

- I don't know whether I like that or not. - I think it would be glorious.

With super klutz working out of the house, he's home from nine to five.

I don't get a minute to myself.

I don't know why you people get married in the first place.

Well, it got a little more difficult each day to get make-up on in the morning.

I think I married so I could sleep in.

- Ha! - Relax.

She's one of those people that needs ten hours.

Well, if I were married, I'd be upset if my husband was always out of town.

Don't pay any attention to them, Joanie. I think you've got a good thing going.

- I don't know whether I'd like it or not. - What do you know? You're too young.

I have small kids.

Maybe when they're a little older my vocation won't seem so important.

- I'm sorry, Joanie. - It's all right.

- What are we in, spades? - Yeah.

- My lead? - Joanie's.

- My dumb, old big mouth. - It's all right, Gloria, really.

Have any of you girls thought about taking some courses this spring?

- Is there anything new? - They've got this yoga course.

They've got this absolutely gorgeous young man teaching it.

I can't wait. Wait till you see me in my leotard.

Can you see me trying to stand on my head for an hour?!

No, but you should get some sort of exercise, not too strenuous.

You're kidding. Putting on my coat is strenuous for me!

- You should do something. - I think probably a diet first.

Have you heard anything about that doctor?

Three friends of mine went to see him and they're all in hospital.

By the moon, by the star,

by the light in my hand,

by the breath within me,

by the earth which I touch,

by the names of the spirits,

by the resplendent angel...

...together with the princesses of Mercury and earth,

I conjure thee,

that you send down to obsess and torment the body,

spirit, soul and five senses,

of a mortal named Gregg. Gregory Williamson.

That he come.

That he come to me tonight,

and that he accomplish my will.

Hello?

Gregg?

Don't you know who it is?

Weren't you expecting a call from somebody?

The old lady?

I find that... my evening is free.

This isn't going to be any kind of regular thing, you know.

You'd better go now.

Aren't you even going to say thank you?

- I think we'd better call a truce. - OK.

But if it's going to be effective, it's got to be based on an understanding.

- OK? - OK.

An understanding of what's going on here.

I understand what's going on.

You have your reasons and I have mine.

But no excuses. And no pinning any guilt.

I understand what's going on.

I'll say thank you if you say thank you.

Thank you, Gregory.

Thank you, Mrs. Robinson.

You're not bad in the sack.

Not bad yourself...

...kid.

Oh!

- Bitch! - Truce, remember.

You really want me to go?

Soon.

I want to become a member.

I thought you were intrigued by it when you were so afraid.

Being afraid is necessary to believing.

I know that it's real, that it works.

I've actually caused things to happen.

We'll have to talk about it.

We'll have to see if you can learn.

It's a long process.

We'll have to see if the interest is as great after all the study.

It's not a question of interest. It's a question of knowing, of believing.

It is involving, isn't it?

Well, we'll have to see if we can help.

It's so easy to start relying on it, forgetting what it's really meant to be.

It won't work, more often than not, if you use it foolishly.

It's not like the stories.

You can't use it to turn on the lights or switch a television channel.

And you've got to feel that way about it.

I mean really feel it... inside.

Don't play with it. Don't use it lightly.

Knowing you've abused it can destroy you from within,

with fear, if nothing else.

This is Mrs. Mitchell.

Lieutenant...

Where is she?

Is she all right? How long will it take?

Three or four days then.

Thank you very much. Bye.

Gregg?

- What's that? - A drink?

- I mean what's that? - That is me.

Oh, I see. You missed a little.

Thank you for coming.

Is that OK? Thank you. Right off the bat. Part of the truth.

Don't you think we should come inside,

or don't you mind the neighbors watching?

Do I detect a note of middle class morality?

I don't mind making it on the lawn. You want to make it on the lawn?

Come on.

- Thank you for coming. - OK.

- I mean it - You're drunk again, Madam.

- I want to talk to you about something. - Ah, can I have one?

- Mm? - Drink.

- I want to talk to you about something - OK.

- What the hell is this? - Gregg...

Gregg, please promise me you won't say anything about...

You won't talk the way you talk, you won't ridicule it. Please.

- What are you talking about? - I'll tell you.

I know you're not going to understand.

You're gonna think it's stupid and you're gonna hate it.

I'm a witch.

The other night when I called you...

...I knew you'd come.

You had to come. I made it happen.

I was fooling with it, using it.

- Oh no... - Don't say anything.

I know what you're going to say.

- Gregg, please listen to me. - Do you want to just calm down?

I was fooling with it. I'm afraid of it.

I'm so afraid of it, I've got to do this.

You've got to help me. It takes two people.

Yeah, well.

- What is all this gonna do? - It's a conjuration.

- We're gonna conjure something? - Someone.

- Ah, we're gonna conjure someone. - Please, I'm afraid of it.

OK.

Honest to God, I'm afraid of it.

I've got to do this.

- Got to do what? - You've got to help me.

- There have to be two of us. - What do we have to do?

Like showing faith.

It's calling on one of the...

One of the what?

- One of the lords. - We're gonna call up the Devil, right?

- Virago. - We're gonna call up the Devil, right?

So you can say, "I'm sorry for messing around with your stuff."

- Don't, I'm afraid of it. - Hold it!

Jesus Christ, you'll really go off the deep end looking for a cop out, won't you?

You had a little sex on the side. You got that?

It's something you always wanted and something you finally got.

But you can't buy that, can you? Well, I say bullshit.

First it's your daughter that's screwed up, then it's me, right?

Lady, it was you who did it, you who wanted it. You!

And now you run around saying,

"The Devil made me do it."

Stop it! Stop.

Now you just hold it.

I'm here, lady, flesh and blood, OK?

All it is is balling, lady. I mean, you're getting balled.

That's all it is, balling, lady.

Being of paper, I name thee Virago.

Being of paper, I name thee Virago.

Thou art Virago.

Thou art Virago.

Thou art Virago.

By Satan, I conjure thee, o holy Virago.

Virago, who knows the secrets of the earth?

Who rides with the wind

and is endowed with the powers of the moon?

Descend and be present.

Descend and appear to us within this circle.

Oh, you're one for the books, lady.

I won't fuck you anymore. Nikki's coming home.

Nikki's coming home.

They found her in Buffalo.

I'll try not to skip over the line, sweetheart.

I don't want to see you again, Gregg.

Well, it's your loss, lady.

O holy Virago, we allow thee to depart and go to thy proper place.

So mote it be.

No!

No!

OK, Jerry, toss me the keys. I'll get the bags in the back.

I'll get it.

Ah, thanks, Jerry. That's wonderful.

OK, Jack. See you at the office.

- I'm getting your seat all wet, Jerry. - Are you going in early?

I'll probably sleep in. Why don't you stay home tomorrow?

You made enough money for the company. They owe it to you.

I don't know. I have to see what happens.

This business with the kid. Jesus, it's rough.

Stay home. I'll make excuses for you.

Spend some time with your wife for a change.

- Maybe I will. - OK, stay loose.

Thanks for the ride, Jerry. I'll pick my car up on Sunday.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight, now.

Son of a...

- From whence dost thou come? - I come from the north.

A place of great darkness.

- Where goest thou? - I go to the east in search of light.

- What passwords did thee bring? - Perfect trust and perfect love.

I, whose charge it is to guard the sentinel of the north,

do forbid thee to enter here.

This holy place may not be entered from the north

until the traveler is first purified and consecrated.

Who will speak for you?

I, guardian of souls, so do.

Child of searching leave the darkness

and approach the sentinel of the north

to receive the bonds and the blessings.

'Did you get confirmation on the angle?'

- 'Top of the stairs.' - 'Shot through the door.'

'Look at the glass, and the wood and the windows.'

'The gun was a 12 gauge shotgun.'

Fire bonds us together.

The water bonds us together.

The stone bonds us together.

'I believe he was a hunter. There's a box of decoys in the cellar.'

'Didn't he have a key?'

'That chain was on the door. He got back a day early.'

'She thought he was a prowler.

'Doesn't matter if she's lying or not. She'll get away with it.'

First, bless the feet that brought this child in these ways.

Second, bless the knees that shall kneel at the altar.

Third, bless the organ of generation which brings us existence.

Fourth, bless the breast formed in beauty by the food of life.

Fifth, bless the lips that shall speak the holy secrets.

'We could run a check on insurance, other motives.'

- 'Probably nothing big.' - 'Just look at him.'

'Damn women, they get it all in the end.

'They wind up with everything. Poor bastard.'

'Put it in the report as accidental.'

Why do you enter among us?

I would know myself for what I am.

Swear you will always be true to the art.

I so swear.

So mote it be.

Hi, dear. How about your drinks?

Everything, it runs the gamut.

We've playing day and night. You make these little men jump on the points.

Next thing you know, you've got money in your hands.

She's so absolutely stoic about it. It was terrible at the time.

We were all terribly distressed but that's all water over the dam.

I must admit, I'm just a bit envious.

- Am I rotten person, Joanie? - You are a rotten person, Sylvia.

Everybody's talking about you. So good to have you back in circulation.

It's an absolute coup having you here today.

Lara, I want to talk to you.

- I can't get over how young you look. - Thank you. Why?

- I don't know. You're the one... - I'm a witch.

Positively spooky. Joanie, I want you to meet Karen Zimmerman.

Karen, meet our guest of honor.

Oh, Germaine. Here, Germaine.

Oh, you horse. I think it has a lot of truth.

I'd really love to get together some time.

Can I call you?

Germaine, Joanie.

You remember, Jack's wife.

OK.