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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,632 --> 00:00:09,135 Police squad! In colour. 2 00:00:15,642 --> 00:00:17,727 Starring Leslie Nielsen. 3 00:00:22,774 --> 00:00:24,943 Also starring Alan North. 4 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:31,533 And Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln. 5 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:39,165 Tonight's special guest star, Georg Stanford Brown. 6 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:50,051 Tonight's episode, A Dangerous Assignment. 7 00:01:09,195 --> 00:01:11,114 Break it up. Come on. 8 00:01:33,386 --> 00:01:34,470 Okay, kid. 9 00:01:34,554 --> 00:01:38,099 When we get the high sign from Martin, then you take the dive. 10 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,266 Four, five, 11 00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:22,977 six, seven, 12 00:02:23,645 --> 00:02:25,688 eight, nine, 13 00:02:26,356 --> 00:02:27,899 ten, you're out! 14 00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:38,660 Mike, 15 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,665 I think you made a big mistake. 16 00:02:43,915 --> 00:02:46,626 Cooper, you worry too much. 17 00:02:49,963 --> 00:02:52,632 I'm sorry, no one's allowed inside. 18 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,844 No, I'm sorry. It's the rules, it's the rules. 19 00:03:04,686 --> 00:03:06,855 - No entry. - Press. 20 00:03:07,981 --> 00:03:09,190 Okay. 21 00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:52,442 My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, 22 00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:54,736 Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad, 23 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:57,363 a special division of the police force. 24 00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,157 I'd just come from the stockyards. 25 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,201 We'd gotten reports that hundreds of cows 26 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,703 had been senselessly slaughtered in the area. 27 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,580 But I couldn't find any evidence. 28 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,583 I stopped off for a hamburger and checked in with headquarters. 29 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,752 There'd been an apparent suicide. 30 00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:14,464 I went right to the scene. My boss was already there. 31 00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:17,258 - Ed. What's up? - Hi, Frank. 32 00:04:17,342 --> 00:04:20,053 Guard discovered the body about an hour ago. 33 00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:22,096 Somebody went in here right before it happened, 34 00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:25,391 but the guard's got bad eyes and he can't make an I.D. 35 00:04:25,475 --> 00:04:27,727 We're dusting for prints now. 36 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,566 - What happened? - Kid named Mike Schultz. 37 00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:36,736 Set up to look like suicide but l'm not so sure. 38 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,030 Why would a boxer 39 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,241 who just scored the biggest victory of his career 40 00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:43,201 go out and commit suicide? 41 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,954 - Are you thinking murder? - It could be. 42 00:04:46,746 --> 00:04:48,665 Anyone with Schultz after the fight? 43 00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:51,042 - Just his manager. - Who's that? 44 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,836 Some joe named Cooper. 45 00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:56,256 - Who's this Joe Cooper? - No, no, it's Sol Cooper. 46 00:04:56,339 --> 00:05:00,426 He manages half the boxers in town and they're all on the take. 47 00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:04,514 - Want me to question him? - No, no, Frank. No. 48 00:05:05,682 --> 00:05:08,935 We may be dealing with murder and corruption here. 49 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:12,105 I want you to go undercover. 50 00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:18,194 I knew that Montague Martin was one of the few criminals 51 00:05:18,278 --> 00:05:20,905 who still tampered with the outcome of fights. 52 00:05:20,989 --> 00:05:24,409 My plan was to find a crooked fighter and straighten him out. 53 00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:31,541 Mabel, Mabel, set the table. 54 00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:35,128 Don't forget the red hot... 55 00:05:40,884 --> 00:05:42,594 Aren't you Buddy Briggs? 56 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:44,971 Yeah. 57 00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:49,684 - Too bad you lost your last three fights. - So I had some bad luck. So what? 58 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,896 Well, maybe you don't have the right kind of management. 59 00:05:52,979 --> 00:05:56,065 Don't you think you should start thinking about that, Buddy? 60 00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:58,943 - I make a pretty good living. - Maybe you can make a better one, 61 00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:01,654 and a cleaner one and a better one. 62 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,991 - Where's your manager? - In the back. 63 00:06:16,461 --> 00:06:18,796 One of you manage Buddy Briggs? 64 00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:23,718 - Yeah. - You gotta be Cooper. 65 00:06:25,845 --> 00:06:28,306 I hear you own a piece of just about every boxer in town. 66 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,517 - Yeah, what's it to you? - I'm a manager. 67 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,519 I wanna take over Buddy Briggs' contract. 68 00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:36,356 - What are you, some kind of wise guy? - Yeah, I'm a wise guy 69 00:06:36,981 --> 00:06:38,983 with a lot of long green. 70 00:06:39,359 --> 00:06:41,402 You manage Lorne Greene? 71 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:45,907 - I'll trade Buddy for Lorne Greene. - No, no. I mean I got cash. 72 00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:49,619 - You manage Johnny Cash, too? - Wait a minute. Who are you? 73 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:51,704 Kelly. 74 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,749 Bob Kelly. 75 00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:59,379 - Mind if I sit in a few hands? - Your money's good here. 76 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:00,922 Goodyear? 77 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,424 You got the blimp, too? 78 00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:07,011 It didn't take long for me to see 79 00:07:07,095 --> 00:07:09,848 that the game was as crooked as Cooper's smile. 80 00:07:18,857 --> 00:07:20,859 Just you and me, Kelly. 81 00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:25,780 - I raise you $500. - Well, that's my kind of action. 82 00:07:26,948 --> 00:07:28,616 Here's your $500. 83 00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:31,786 One grand more. 84 00:07:53,975 --> 00:07:57,270 That's a lot of do-re-mi, Kelly. I'm out of cash. 85 00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:00,190 - What about these? - No dice. 86 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,525 But there is something else I'm interested in. 87 00:08:02,609 --> 00:08:05,612 - What's that? - Buddy Briggs' contract. 88 00:08:06,404 --> 00:08:08,114 All right, Kelly. 89 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,535 What do you got? 90 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,957 - Full house. Kings over. - Not so fast, Kelly. 91 00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:21,044 A straight beats a full house. 92 00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:23,004 No it doesn't. A straight beats three of a kind. 93 00:08:23,087 --> 00:08:24,881 A full house beats a straight. 94 00:08:24,964 --> 00:08:28,259 - Doesn't a flush beat a straight? - A straight flush beats everything. 95 00:08:28,343 --> 00:08:31,471 - Not a royal flush. - Does a flush beat a full house? 96 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:35,975 - A regular flush or a straight flush? - A flush beats a straight. 97 00:08:36,059 --> 00:08:39,437 I've played a lot of poker. A full house beats a straight. 98 00:08:39,521 --> 00:08:41,105 Maybe so, Kelly. 99 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:44,067 But four of us beats one of you. 100 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:47,278 All right, l've got an ace in the hole. 101 00:08:47,362 --> 00:08:50,031 That makes me the winner. Buddy Briggs belongs to me now. 102 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:54,869 But just to make it nice and legal, I brought along a bill of sale. Sign it. 103 00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:57,580 You. You witness it. 104 00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:00,458 You, check for spelling errors. 105 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,962 All right, Cooper. Get that stuff in there. 106 00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:06,840 How many "l's" in legally? 107 00:09:07,757 --> 00:09:11,761 You may have a fighter, Kelly, but you'll never get a fight. 108 00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:16,391 We got this town sewn up tighter than a floozy's skirt. 109 00:09:16,766 --> 00:09:18,726 We'll see about that, Cooper. 110 00:09:23,356 --> 00:09:26,359 Well, gentlemen, it's been a nice afternoon. 111 00:09:26,651 --> 00:09:28,444 Hope we can do it again some other time. 112 00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:30,238 I'm free Wednesdays. 113 00:09:33,032 --> 00:09:36,536 This guy's more trouble than he's worth. I want him knocked off! 114 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:46,296 My plan was working. I was now Buddy Briggs' manager. 115 00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:49,382 But I still had no way to connect Cooper and Martin with the murder. 116 00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:58,266 I got a call from Olson. The lab had come up with something. 117 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:01,603 So you see, Katie, when I throw this switch, 118 00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:03,646 the electrical current from the power source 119 00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:06,774 is able to continue its journey to its final destination. 120 00:10:06,858 --> 00:10:09,152 In our case, the light bulb. 121 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:12,697 - All set then? - I guess so, Mr Olson. 122 00:10:12,822 --> 00:10:14,157 Here we go. 123 00:10:14,824 --> 00:10:17,660 - Hi, Frank. Ed. - Yeah. 124 00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:19,996 Why don't you run along now, Katie? 125 00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:22,040 And next week remember to bring three things 126 00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:23,374 from your mother's dresser. 127 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:25,460 Thanks, Mr Olson. Bye. 128 00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:29,672 Anything on the Mike Schultz case? 129 00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:31,341 The dead boxer? 130 00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:34,636 - Well, there weren't many clues. - Any prints? 131 00:10:34,719 --> 00:10:36,763 No, but we found some whiskers. 132 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,599 Take a look in here. 133 00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:45,855 Facial hair. 134 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,614 - Yep. - Hair is like fingerprints. 135 00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:57,367 No two follicles are alike. 136 00:10:57,575 --> 00:11:00,078 The strand on the left belongs to Schultz. 137 00:11:00,161 --> 00:11:02,288 The one on the right was found near his body. 138 00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:05,375 So, whoever belongs to that whisker is our killer. 139 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:08,044 - Have you identified him? - Yes. 140 00:11:08,795 --> 00:11:10,255 It belongs to him. 141 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:16,636 Luca Burnett was a five-time loser who was working for Montague Martin. 142 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,055 Now I knew who was responsible for the murder. 143 00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,891 But I needed someone who wasn't afraid to talk. 144 00:11:21,975 --> 00:11:24,727 The next step was to work on Buddy Briggs. 145 00:11:26,396 --> 00:11:28,773 - Hi, Buddy. - What are you doing here? 146 00:11:28,857 --> 00:11:31,401 - I'm your new manager. - Look, buster, 147 00:11:31,484 --> 00:11:34,612 I don't know who you are or what you're trying to pull, 148 00:11:34,696 --> 00:11:36,990 - but I work for Cooper. - Not anymore. 149 00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:39,826 And you don't go in the tank anymore either. 150 00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:42,912 - I don't know what you're talking about. - All right, Buddy, play it stupid. 151 00:11:42,996 --> 00:11:44,247 I don't care. You hear me? 152 00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,499 I don't wanna end up dead in some locker room. 153 00:11:46,583 --> 00:11:48,042 Now get out! 154 00:11:49,502 --> 00:11:50,753 Mary. 155 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:55,675 Mary, why aren't you at waitress school? 156 00:11:55,842 --> 00:11:57,010 Mary. 157 00:11:57,552 --> 00:11:59,262 You've been drinking again, haven't you? 158 00:11:59,345 --> 00:12:01,264 - You're a bum! - Mary. 159 00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:04,893 The only money you've ever earned is by throwing fights. 160 00:12:04,976 --> 00:12:06,978 You're not the man I married. 161 00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:10,857 - How can you say that? - Because here's the man I married. 162 00:12:13,109 --> 00:12:14,777 Mary, I love you. 163 00:12:15,111 --> 00:12:17,614 I'm trying to give you all the things you never had. 164 00:12:17,697 --> 00:12:20,700 A decent home, a decent life, your own synagogue. 165 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,286 You're never gonna give me those things, 166 00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:27,081 and you know why? 'Cause you got no guts. 167 00:12:27,165 --> 00:12:30,585 You're scared of Martin and Cooper. They own you. 168 00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:34,839 - Nobody owns Buddy Briggs! Nobody! - Don't lie to me! 169 00:12:35,757 --> 00:12:38,927 Every big fight you've ever been in, you've taken a dive. 170 00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:41,846 And you know what? You could've been somebody. 171 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:44,641 You could've been a contender instead of a bum, 172 00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:46,684 which is what you are. 173 00:12:51,648 --> 00:12:52,941 Muffin. 174 00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:03,117 Buddy, l'm here to help you. 175 00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:04,994 Now, do you think you can beat the Champ? 176 00:13:05,078 --> 00:13:07,205 - I can take him blindfolded. - What if he's not blindfolded? 177 00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:09,207 I can still beat him. 178 00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:14,712 I believe you. That's why I won you in the poker game. 179 00:13:14,796 --> 00:13:16,339 You fight on the up-and-up, 180 00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,675 you'll be able to look in the mirror and see a winner. 181 00:13:18,758 --> 00:13:21,427 You've been living in the dumps too long, pal. 182 00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:24,931 I'm gonna help you and Mary get out of this sewer. Come on. 183 00:13:30,687 --> 00:13:32,230 All right, Buddy, 184 00:13:32,313 --> 00:13:34,858 now, you meet me tomorrow at Maury's Bar on Prospect. 185 00:13:34,941 --> 00:13:36,901 I'm gonna get you a fight with the Champ. 186 00:13:36,985 --> 00:13:40,071 - How are you gonna do that? - You leave that to me. 187 00:13:57,672 --> 00:13:58,840 Buddy. 188 00:14:05,972 --> 00:14:08,391 - What'll it be? - Screwdriver. 189 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:23,323 - Anything to drink? - No, thank you. 190 00:14:24,532 --> 00:14:25,909 Hey, Kelly. 191 00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:28,661 Sure are a lot of photographers here tonight. 192 00:14:28,745 --> 00:14:30,288 Yeah, I know. Is Cooper and Martin here? 193 00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:33,708 Yeah. They're sitting at the table with a couple of tramps. 194 00:14:39,297 --> 00:14:42,050 I think it's time to go and meet Mr Big. 195 00:14:42,258 --> 00:14:44,093 His name's Mr Martin. 196 00:14:45,178 --> 00:14:46,346 Well... 197 00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:55,980 Hey, Cooper, you calling any bluffs lately? 198 00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:00,610 If it isn't Mr Kelly. 199 00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:03,196 It's the guy I was telling you about, 200 00:15:03,279 --> 00:15:06,574 the guy who manages Lorne Greene and Johnny Cash. 201 00:15:06,741 --> 00:15:08,284 Go powder your noses. 202 00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:19,963 Listen, smart boy, I own this town. 203 00:15:20,713 --> 00:15:24,592 You may have a fighter, but you're never gonna get a fight. 204 00:15:30,390 --> 00:15:32,225 We'll see about that. 205 00:15:33,685 --> 00:15:35,937 Roses are red, violets are blue, 206 00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:38,898 sugar is sweet, I'm gonna break your face. 207 00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:42,861 Buddy Briggs could break every bone in your body. 208 00:15:42,944 --> 00:15:44,529 Yeah, well, he must be a pretty good boxer. 209 00:15:44,612 --> 00:15:45,738 How would you know? 210 00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:47,782 You never won an honest fight in your life. 211 00:15:47,866 --> 00:15:50,410 Take it easy. Nobody wants to get hurt. Just cool off. 212 00:15:50,493 --> 00:15:52,579 Why should l? The only reason you're champ 213 00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:54,873 is 'cause of guys lying down or dying. 214 00:15:54,956 --> 00:15:56,499 Let me buy you a drink. We'll talk. 215 00:15:56,583 --> 00:16:00,420 I wouldn't drink with you, you two-bit, phoney excuse for a fighter. 216 00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:02,046 You're just tired, 217 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:04,132 - you didn't mean it. - Forget it. 218 00:16:04,507 --> 00:16:08,511 "Forget it"? Nobody says "forget it" to me! 219 00:16:34,078 --> 00:16:36,873 Sorry, buddy, no sax before a fight. 220 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:40,460 - Are you nervous? - Yeah, a bit. 221 00:16:40,543 --> 00:16:44,130 But I know I can take this guy. Nothing can stop me tonight. 222 00:16:44,214 --> 00:16:48,218 - What are you doing here, Martin? - Get out of here. l've gone straight. 223 00:16:48,635 --> 00:16:52,222 If you're smart, you'll go straight to the canvas in the 12th. 224 00:16:52,305 --> 00:16:53,681 Forget it. 225 00:16:54,349 --> 00:16:56,184 - We've got Mary. - What? 226 00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:58,102 - You're bluffing. - Oh, yeah? 227 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,147 - Mary's scarf! - You could have gotten that anywhere. 228 00:17:01,231 --> 00:17:03,274 - How about this? - Mary's purse! 229 00:17:03,358 --> 00:17:06,736 - There are millions of purses like that. - How about this? 230 00:17:07,779 --> 00:17:09,364 Mary's toaster! 231 00:17:10,949 --> 00:17:12,283 Oh, my God. 232 00:17:13,201 --> 00:17:15,495 In the 12th, Buddy. 233 00:17:18,998 --> 00:17:22,252 I can't believe it. I trained to win this fight. 234 00:17:22,544 --> 00:17:25,880 I can win this fight. Now I gotta lose. 235 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:28,508 Buddy, I'll make a deal with you. 236 00:17:29,217 --> 00:17:32,720 I'll bring back Mary, you beat the Champ. 237 00:17:37,517 --> 00:17:40,228 I radioed Hocken to get some men and meet me at the Arena. 238 00:17:40,311 --> 00:17:42,856 If I wanted to put Martin and his monkeys behind bars, 239 00:17:42,939 --> 00:17:45,024 I had to find Mary, and fast. 240 00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:55,201 Johnny, I need some information and fast. 241 00:17:55,285 --> 00:17:57,120 There's a woman in trouble. 242 00:17:57,203 --> 00:18:00,081 You mean Mary, the boxer's wife who was just kidnapped? 243 00:18:00,165 --> 00:18:04,252 - Right. You know anything about it? - Maybe I do, maybe I don't. 244 00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:09,048 She's in big trouble. 245 00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:12,051 She's being held by Martin's goon, Luca. 246 00:18:12,135 --> 00:18:16,472 - What's a "goonluca"? - No, Luca Burnett. Martin's henchman. 247 00:18:16,681 --> 00:18:18,808 Right. Where are they? 248 00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:22,270 It's a big city. Could be most anyplace. 249 00:18:26,399 --> 00:18:28,902 You might wanna try Jim's Gym. 250 00:18:29,402 --> 00:18:31,905 Thanks, Johnny. l'll be in touch. 251 00:18:38,036 --> 00:18:40,455 - It's a bypass operation, Johnny. - So? 252 00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:43,416 The guy has a history of sinus bradycardia. 253 00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:46,002 I wouldn't know anything about it. 254 00:18:49,506 --> 00:18:51,716 - You got him on atropine? - Of course. 255 00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:56,679 Do a midline thoracotomy, strip the saphenous vein, 256 00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:59,349 be careful not to puncture the myocardium. 257 00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:19,118 Tonight's main event, 15 rounds 258 00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:22,247 for the Championship of the World. 259 00:19:22,455 --> 00:19:25,708 In this corner, weighing 210 pounds 260 00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:28,878 in the dark trunks is the current champion, 261 00:19:29,379 --> 00:19:30,797 the Champ. 262 00:19:34,676 --> 00:19:38,179 Jack and Jill went up the hill, I'm gonna break your face! 263 00:19:38,304 --> 00:19:40,473 I'm gonna break your face! 264 00:20:33,484 --> 00:20:36,905 - No! No! No! Help! - Police squad! 265 00:20:36,988 --> 00:20:39,574 - You're under arrest! - No way, Ray! 266 00:21:00,386 --> 00:21:03,014 All right, Luca, I've got a gun in your ribs. 267 00:21:03,097 --> 00:21:05,600 l'm not Luca and those aren't my ribs. 268 00:21:05,683 --> 00:21:07,101 Eat lead, copper! 269 00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:10,688 - Mary, you all right? - Yes. 270 00:21:10,772 --> 00:21:12,106 So am I. 271 00:21:16,736 --> 00:21:18,738 - How about now? - Now? 272 00:21:19,113 --> 00:21:20,532 Not so good. 273 00:21:22,283 --> 00:21:23,868 We're about to start the 12th round. 274 00:21:23,952 --> 00:21:27,205 And remember, Buddy Briggs has never gone the distance. 275 00:21:35,213 --> 00:21:37,966 At this point, I'd say it could go either way. 276 00:21:38,049 --> 00:21:39,676 Both men are strong, but tired. 277 00:21:39,759 --> 00:21:42,262 And one punch could end it at any moment. 278 00:22:03,741 --> 00:22:05,994 One, two, 279 00:22:06,536 --> 00:22:10,081 - three... - Mary, Mary. 280 00:22:10,582 --> 00:22:13,835 Every big fight you've ever been in, you've taken a dive. 281 00:22:13,918 --> 00:22:17,172 I'll get you a fight with the Champ and then maybe you'll be a winner. 282 00:22:17,255 --> 00:22:18,381 A winner. 283 00:22:18,464 --> 00:22:22,594 There's no place like home. 284 00:22:22,719 --> 00:22:24,846 Auntie Em! 285 00:22:24,929 --> 00:22:27,974 And Toto, too! And Toto, too! 286 00:22:28,808 --> 00:22:31,269 - You'll always be a bum! - Buddy! 287 00:22:35,523 --> 00:22:37,317 ...six, seven, 288 00:22:37,859 --> 00:22:39,569 eight, nine... 289 00:22:50,622 --> 00:22:53,791 - How many fingers do you see? - Thursday. 290 00:22:59,506 --> 00:23:01,466 - The winner! - Yeah, Mary! 291 00:23:02,217 --> 00:23:03,885 Yeah, Mary! 292 00:23:04,219 --> 00:23:06,304 Mary! Yeah! 293 00:23:08,264 --> 00:23:09,849 How do you feel about the victory, Champ? 294 00:23:09,933 --> 00:23:14,270 Great! It's not only a victory for me, but for all of boxing. 295 00:23:14,437 --> 00:23:16,397 'Cause I'd like to tell you about some cheap crooks 296 00:23:16,481 --> 00:23:18,107 who are trying to ruin the game. 297 00:23:18,191 --> 00:23:19,651 Montague Martin! 298 00:23:20,610 --> 00:23:22,820 - Kelly! - The name is Detective Frank Drebin 299 00:23:22,904 --> 00:23:24,364 and I'm a boxing fan. 300 00:23:24,447 --> 00:23:25,907 - What the... - All right, Martin, 301 00:23:25,990 --> 00:23:27,534 you've fixed your last fight. 302 00:23:27,617 --> 00:23:30,745 From now on, the boxers in this town will lose honestly. 303 00:23:30,829 --> 00:23:32,580 Buddy! Buddy! 304 00:23:34,874 --> 00:23:37,794 - Buddy! Buddy! - Mary! 305 00:23:51,349 --> 00:23:53,268 - Hi, Ed. - Hi, Frank. 306 00:23:54,102 --> 00:23:55,645 - Excuse me. - Yep. 307 00:23:58,982 --> 00:24:01,192 Drebin here. Get me Pete Preussing. 308 00:24:02,110 --> 00:24:05,530 Tell him I'd like the final report on Martin and Sally Decker. 309 00:24:05,613 --> 00:24:06,781 Right. 310 00:24:07,198 --> 00:24:09,826 Looks like we got a new champ, huh? 311 00:24:10,827 --> 00:24:11,995 Well, 312 00:24:12,537 --> 00:24:15,123 looks like I can get back to reading the sport pages now. 313 00:24:15,206 --> 00:24:19,836 Speaking of sports pages, I see they're bringing your friend Martin in now. 314 00:24:21,921 --> 00:24:23,214 You think you're a big man, Drebin, 315 00:24:23,298 --> 00:24:25,300 but I'm telling you, I'm gonna beat this rap. 316 00:24:25,383 --> 00:24:27,260 Don't count on that, Martin. 317 00:24:27,343 --> 00:24:29,804 Looks like you and your cohorts'll be doing your boxing 318 00:24:29,888 --> 00:24:32,640 up at the Statesville Prison from now on. 319 00:24:57,957 --> 00:25:01,085 Be sure to tune in next week for another exciting story 320 00:25:01,169 --> 00:25:03,505 from the files of Police Squad! 24704

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