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1
00:00:02,805 --> 00:00:04,772
Happy valentine's day.
2
00:00:04,807 --> 00:00:07,508
Oh, happy valentine's day.
3
00:00:10,507 --> 00:00:12,867
Aw. Ohh!
4
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Mwah.
5
00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:15,264
So, fratelli's tonight?
6
00:00:15,298 --> 00:00:17,894
Hello, cannoli canoe.
7
00:00:17,928 --> 00:00:20,231
I like it. Nice fit.
8
00:00:20,265 --> 00:00:22,232
Swanky material.
9
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,101
Jay, you look so strong and sexy,
10
00:00:25,135 --> 00:00:27,504
Like an olympic wrestler but with money.
11
00:00:28,540 --> 00:00:29,739
Your turn.
12
00:00:29,774 --> 00:00:31,340
Okay.
13
00:00:31,374 --> 00:00:33,105
It's my favorite day in america!
14
00:00:33,139 --> 00:00:35,072
Happy valentine's day, gorgeous.
15
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They're huge!
16
00:00:37,847 --> 00:00:39,416
Oh, my god!
17
00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:40,650
Yeah, those will work.
18
00:00:40,684 --> 00:00:41,650
Beautiful.
19
00:00:41,684 --> 00:00:43,255
You can wear them tonight.
20
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:44,922
I have a surprise.
21
00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:49,992
Don't tell me, you're finally
taking me salsa dancing!
22
00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:53,462
And who's david brenner?
23
00:00:53,497 --> 00:00:55,467
Only a vegas legend.
24
00:00:55,501 --> 00:00:56,801
Is he a magician?
25
00:00:56,835 --> 00:00:58,170
'cause I love magicians.
26
00:00:58,204 --> 00:00:59,572
He's a comedian.
27
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A comedian.
28
00:01:00,974 --> 00:01:02,041
It's valentine's day.
29
00:01:02,075 --> 00:01:04,010
I thought we were going salsa dancing,
30
00:01:04,045 --> 00:01:05,079
Not to watch a comedian.
31
00:01:05,113 --> 00:01:06,181
You're gonna love him.
32
00:01:06,215 --> 00:01:08,149
Trust me. The guy's hilarious!
33
00:01:08,183 --> 00:01:10,651
Okay. Tell me one of his jokes.
34
00:01:10,685 --> 00:01:12,319
Well, he doesn't do jokes.
35
00:01:12,354 --> 00:01:13,554
Does he have a mallet?
36
00:01:13,588 --> 00:01:14,855
No.
37
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:16,390
So, then, how does he get hit in the head?
38
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,959
He doesn't get "hit in the head."
39
00:01:17,993 --> 00:01:20,362
He -- he makes observations
40
00:01:20,397 --> 00:01:22,664
He tells the truth in a funny way.
41
00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:25,969
Come on, he's been on "johnny
carson" a hundred times.
42
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,303
Who the hell is johnny carson?
43
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,805
Oh, for god's sake.
44
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,474
Gloria and I are from different generations,
45
00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:32,408
And I won't lie -- it isn't always easy.
46
00:01:32,443 --> 00:01:34,344
I mean, last week she
thought simon and garfunkel
47
00:01:34,378 --> 00:01:36,045
Were my lawyers.
48
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No, I didn't.
49
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It was a joke.
50
00:01:38,782 --> 00:01:39,948
I don't get it.
51
00:01:39,982 --> 00:01:41,984
Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
52
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Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
53
00:01:45,388 --> 00:01:47,322
Just stay in northern cal--
54
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Did you indicate to her...
55
00:01:49,091 --> 00:01:50,691
...How long that you were gonna take?
56
00:01:50,725 --> 00:01:51,892
Happy valentine's day.
57
00:01:51,926 --> 00:01:53,259
Happy valentine's day.
58
00:01:53,294 --> 00:01:55,729
"happy valentine's day, daddy."
59
00:01:55,763 --> 00:01:57,364
Happy valentine's day, lily.
60
00:01:58,599 --> 00:02:00,834
Notice anything different?
61
00:02:00,868 --> 00:02:02,603
Oh, that is cute. "cute"?
62
00:02:02,637 --> 00:02:04,738
We spent a lot of time on this.
63
00:02:04,773 --> 00:02:07,342
I don't see how.
You just cut up one of your boas.
64
00:02:07,376 --> 00:02:09,110
Actually, no, we repurposed it.
65
00:02:09,144 --> 00:02:12,514
It was sort of a "bob mackie
meets martha stewart" project.
66
00:02:12,548 --> 00:02:14,749
Okay, well, we just thought
it would be a nice surprise.
67
00:02:14,784 --> 00:02:16,184
Well, it's hardly a surprise.
68
00:02:16,218 --> 00:02:18,219
I mean, you dress her up for every
holiday.
69
00:02:18,253 --> 00:02:19,820
I was giving her a bath last night,
70
00:02:19,855 --> 00:02:22,022
And I still saw traces of martin
luther king behind her ear.
71
00:02:22,057 --> 00:02:23,591
All right, not in the spirit. We get it.
72
00:02:23,625 --> 00:02:25,292
No, I'm s-- I'm sorry. No, it's adorable.
73
00:02:25,327 --> 00:02:28,095
I just -- I'm really nervous
about my closing argument.
74
00:02:28,129 --> 00:02:29,563
Oh, you've been rehearsing for weeks.
75
00:02:29,597 --> 00:02:30,864
You're gonna be great.
76
00:02:30,899 --> 00:02:32,099
Let's hope so.
77
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:33,233
Hey, and I was wondering --
78
00:02:33,267 --> 00:02:34,801
Since you're gonna be in court all day...
79
00:02:34,835 --> 00:02:36,970
Yeahyou can open the chocolates.
80
00:02:37,005 --> 00:02:39,207
Score!
81
00:02:41,577 --> 00:02:42,911
Hi, dylan.
82
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,113
Happy valentine's day, mrs. Dunphy.
83
00:02:45,147 --> 00:02:48,716
Oh! Dylan, thank you. That is so sweet.
84
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,884
You know, all women should
look as tasty as you
85
00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:52,219
When they're old.
86
00:02:52,253 --> 00:02:54,121
Huh. Conflicted.
87
00:02:54,155 --> 00:02:55,655
Hey, baby!
88
00:02:55,690 --> 00:02:58,625
Hey. Take this sweet gift
as a token of my affection,
89
00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:00,460
My unending love and admiration.
90
00:03:00,494 --> 00:03:02,328
Oh, my god! Yay, it's big!
91
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,167
It's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen!
92
00:03:09,202 --> 00:03:11,202
A black light on it.
93
00:03:11,237 --> 00:03:13,804
It'll blow your mind.
94
00:03:13,838 --> 00:03:15,639
Wow. Dylan, I didn't know you could paint.
95
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:16,640
Oh, I didn't.
96
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:17,674
I just took a photo,
97
00:03:17,708 --> 00:03:18,975
And I put it through this program
98
00:03:19,009 --> 00:03:20,343
That turns it into a painting.
99
00:03:20,377 --> 00:03:21,510
Oh! Oh.
100
00:03:21,545 --> 00:03:23,912
So you two a-actually did...
101
00:03:23,947 --> 00:03:25,013
That.
102
00:03:25,047 --> 00:03:26,014
Uh-huh.
103
00:03:26,048 --> 00:03:27,315
Yeah. Okay.
104
00:03:27,349 --> 00:03:28,616
Let's go put this over my bed.
105
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:31,184
No. No, no.
106
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At all.
107
00:03:31,988 --> 00:03:33,877
I'll take it.
108
00:03:33,912 --> 00:03:34,945
Did he trump me?
109
00:03:34,979 --> 00:03:36,113
D-money.
110
00:03:36,147 --> 00:03:37,514
You tell me.
111
00:03:37,549 --> 00:03:40,011
He made a painting out of a photograph one
time.
112
00:03:40,546 --> 00:03:42,847
I have handpicked a card,
113
00:03:42,881 --> 00:03:45,150
Drawn a heart in the steam
on the medicine cabinet,
114
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A family-style italian restaurant,
115
00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:52,405
For 17 years in a row.
116
00:03:52,439 --> 00:03:54,807
Yeah, he got me. He got me.
117
00:03:54,842 --> 00:03:57,877
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
118
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,086
Bye, honey.
119
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:08,254
See you later.
120
00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:09,422
See you later.
121
00:04:09,456 --> 00:04:12,258
Phil, what is that?
122
00:04:12,292 --> 00:04:15,828
You know, we don't have to
go to fratelli's tonight.
123
00:04:15,863 --> 00:04:19,198
Okay, what do you have in mind?
124
00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:24,003
Well, I thought you might
enjoy a night at a hotel.
125
00:04:24,037 --> 00:04:25,296
I would.
126
00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:26,931
But would you and the kids be okay?
127
00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:28,332
I meant together.
128
00:04:28,366 --> 00:04:29,300
I know.
129
00:04:29,334 --> 00:04:30,301
Oh. I know. I know.
130
00:04:30,335 --> 00:04:31,569
I got it.
131
00:04:31,603 --> 00:04:33,337
So...
132
00:04:33,371 --> 00:04:34,839
What do you think?
133
00:04:34,873 --> 00:04:38,109
I think you're not getting
any sleep tonight.
134
00:04:38,143 --> 00:04:41,445
So you might want to
take a nap at work today.
135
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,815
I always do.
136
00:04:47,152 --> 00:04:48,285
Phil?
137
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,787
Sweetie.
138
00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:52,490
As long as we're talking
about being a little bit...
139
00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:53,724
Naughty,
140
00:04:53,758 --> 00:04:57,495
What would you say to a little...
141
00:04:57,529 --> 00:04:58,929
Role playing?
142
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,030
Role playing?
143
00:05:00,065 --> 00:05:01,232
Mm-hmm.
144
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:03,200
I'm in.
145
00:05:03,235 --> 00:05:05,870
I'll set up sleepovers for the kids.
146
00:05:05,904 --> 00:05:08,239
And I'll swing by after work to pick you up.
147
00:05:08,273 --> 00:05:09,773
No, no.
148
00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:12,076
Why don't you meet me in the hotel bar
149
00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:14,979
And see if you can pick me up there?
150
00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:18,716
Careful, lady, you're gonna
wake up a sexy sleeping giant.
151
00:05:20,085 --> 00:05:23,420
perhaps I'll be reginald appleby.
152
00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:26,857
An english gentleman in
town for a polo match.
153
00:05:26,925 --> 00:05:28,659
Phil.
154
00:05:28,693 --> 00:05:31,762
or honorable businessman from hong kong --
155
00:05:31,796 --> 00:05:32,930
You're kinda wrecking it.
156
00:05:32,964 --> 00:05:34,698
Oh.
157
00:05:36,902 --> 00:05:38,736
It's not a big deal, claire.
158
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,871
I just train tigers for a living.
159
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:42,606
too -- no?
160
00:05:42,641 --> 00:04:25,697
No.
161
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,185
Are these rose petals?
162
00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:55,354
Yes, to commemorate our love.
163
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:56,588
I had to settle.
164
00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:57,956
Well, your mom might think so,
165
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,057
But a lot of people think I'm a catch.
166
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,125
No, the case.
167
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:02,361
I-I was this close to nailing it,
168
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:06,064
And then my client gets scared and settles.
169
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,566
I'm sorry.
170
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,034
Maybe you'd like a chocolate.
171
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:12,170
Notice that I have not eaten
any of the chocolates.
172
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,906
There were two levels.
You know it, and I know it.
173
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,909
This is so frustrating.
174
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,912
I had one of the greatest
closing arguments of all time --
175
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,749
All about the big government
rolling over the little guy.
176
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,417
And I even had this great moment at the end
177
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,952
Where I would point to the state seal
178
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,887
And I'd say, "shame!"
179
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,655
Oh, that's what you were
doing in the shower.
180
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:31,857
I was a little worried.
181
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,759
um, that's manny.
182
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:35,953
I said we would watch him tonight.
I hope you don't mind.
183
00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:38,669
I didn't know you were gonna be going
through all this. No, it's fine.
184
00:06:38,704 --> 00:06:40,104
It might be nice to have him around.
185
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,306
he always makes me laugh.
186
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:43,641
Hi, manny!
187
00:06:43,675 --> 00:06:45,543
The universe is cold and loveless.
188
00:06:45,577 --> 00:06:48,512
uh-oh. Bad valentine's day?
189
00:06:48,547 --> 00:06:49,548
I went for the gold --
190
00:06:49,882 --> 00:06:51,383
Fiona gunderson.
191
00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:53,251
I poured my heart and soul into a poem,
192
00:06:53,285 --> 00:06:54,486
Left it on her desk.
193
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:58,156
I even burned the edges
to make it look fancy.
194
00:06:58,190 --> 00:06:59,424
And she didn't like it?
195
00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:00,625
Oh, she loved it.
196
00:07:00,659 --> 00:07:03,495
But this kid durkas told
her he wrote it.
197
00:07:03,529 --> 00:07:05,263
Well, manny, why didn't
you justell her the truth?
198
00:07:05,297 --> 00:07:06,731
She was already gone.
199
00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:08,967
And she's on a date with him at my favorite
restaurant,
200
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:10,201
Great shakes.
201
00:07:10,236 --> 00:07:11,336
How do you know all this?
202
00:07:11,370 --> 00:07:12,804
I invited her in the poem.
203
00:07:12,838 --> 00:07:14,005
Right after the line of,
204
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,408
"my love is deeper than the great lakes."
205
00:07:16,442 --> 00:07:18,777
Okay, well, this is unacceptable.
206
00:07:18,811 --> 00:07:20,578
Oh, here we go. No,
it's not that big of a deal.
207
00:07:20,613 --> 00:07:21,780
This is what we're gonna do.
208
00:07:21,814 --> 00:07:23,148
We're gonna shoot over to great shakes,
209
00:07:23,182 --> 00:07:24,249
We're gonna get a table,
210
00:07:24,283 --> 00:07:26,117
Manny can reclaim the love of his life.
211
00:07:26,152 --> 00:07:27,886
You and I can get a couple mudslides.
212
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:28,987
I don't know.
213
00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,089
Durkas is gonna be there.
214
00:07:31,123 --> 00:07:33,024
I've seen the kid do a pull-up.
215
00:07:33,059 --> 00:07:35,093
Hey, manny, it's valentine's day.
216
00:07:35,127 --> 00:07:36,895
It's not the day you run away from love.
217
00:07:36,929 --> 00:07:39,464
It's the day you track it down,
tie it up, and take it home.
218
00:07:39,498 --> 00:07:41,599
Now, if we can pull this off,
219
00:07:41,634 --> 00:07:43,401
You and your little lady
friend will be belly up
220
00:07:43,436 --> 00:07:44,436
To an ice-cream counter,
221
00:07:44,470 --> 00:07:45,570
Having a milkshake with two straws.
222
00:07:45,604 --> 00:07:48,006
What do you say?
223
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,674
I like it.
224
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:51,810
David brenner: Thank you. Thank you.
225
00:07:52,944 --> 00:07:54,235
Scientists, they don't
know why this is true,
226
00:07:54,319 --> 00:07:55,953
But it's true.
227
00:07:55,988 --> 00:07:59,490
Women with big rear ends live longer.
228
00:08:01,126 --> 00:08:03,094
Men who tell them that, don't.
229
00:08:04,796 --> 00:08:06,364
Did you read about this man --
230
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:10,101
The 91-year-old bank robber in texas?
231
00:08:10,135 --> 00:08:13,037
He goes into a bank, you know.
232
00:08:13,071 --> 00:08:15,072
"what the hell did I want?"
233
00:08:16,508 --> 00:08:20,344
They had over 4,000 photos of
him escaping from the bank.
234
00:08:23,282 --> 00:08:25,082
See?
235
00:08:25,117 --> 00:08:27,185
He's funny, huh?
236
00:08:36,295 --> 00:08:38,996
mind if I join you?
237
00:08:39,031 --> 00:08:42,600
I'm clive. Clive bixby.
238
00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:44,869
Yes, I can see that.
239
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:46,904
I'm juliana.
240
00:08:46,939 --> 00:08:50,508
So, clive, are you in town for
a convention, or do you...
241
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:52,310
Just forget your name a lot?
242
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,779
Pretty kitty has nails.
243
00:08:54,813 --> 00:08:57,014
I like that.
244
00:08:58,483 --> 00:09:00,518
I'm in town for a trade show.
245
00:09:00,552 --> 00:09:04,755
I design high-end
electroacoustic transducers.
246
00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:06,891
Wow, that is very...
247
00:09:06,925 --> 00:09:08,893
Specific.
248
00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:12,353
It's a fancy of way of saying
I get things to make noise.
249
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,738
Hmm. Two, please.
250
00:09:15,773 --> 00:09:17,807
So, what's your story?
251
00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:21,177
The miss america pageant in town?
252
00:09:21,211 --> 00:09:25,114
Well, you're pretty smooth talker, clive.
253
00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:27,817
I'm pretty smooth all over.
254
00:09:27,851 --> 00:09:29,085
Oh.
255
00:09:29,119 --> 00:09:31,220
Sir, there's no smoking in here.
256
00:09:31,255 --> 00:09:34,056
Oh, that's fine. I'm not actually a smok--
257
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,395
You're quite the boy scout, clive.
258
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:41,397
Tell me, would you be interested
259
00:09:41,432 --> 00:09:44,267
In earning a merit badge tonight?
260
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:47,870
Do you know anything about tying knots?
261
00:09:47,905 --> 00:09:51,374
I probably shouldn't be talking to you.
262
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:53,643
I'm a married man.
263
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:54,977
Ah.
264
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:58,347
Well, I just so happen to like married men.
265
00:09:58,382 --> 00:10:00,216
Tell me about your wife.
266
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:02,351
Well, she's beautiful, of course.
267
00:10:02,386 --> 00:10:04,821
Really? Well, if she's so very beautiful,
268
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,122
Why are you here with me?
269
00:10:06,156 --> 00:10:07,990
Because she's always so tired,
270
00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:11,627
And she's always making lists
of things for me to do.
271
00:10:11,662 --> 00:10:13,563
Maybe if you did them,
she wouldn't be so tired.
272
00:10:13,597 --> 00:10:16,199
Oh, no, she can make lists for days.
273
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,702
But back to your mouth and how sexy it is.
274
00:10:19,736 --> 00:10:21,003
Unh-unh.
275
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,405
I want to go back to these alleged lists
276
00:10:22,439 --> 00:10:23,506
And your nagging wife.
277
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,942
I-I'm not talking about you.
278
00:10:27,244 --> 00:10:29,468
I didn't mean that. Can we try this again?
279
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:32,004
Yeah.
280
00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:37,676
So, if your wife is so beautiful,
281
00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:39,745
Why are you here with me?
282
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,115
Because...
283
00:10:43,149 --> 00:10:46,385
I respect her too much
284
00:10:46,419 --> 00:10:51,256
To do to her what I'm going... To do to you?
285
00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:54,359
Oh, jackpot.
286
00:10:54,394 --> 00:10:56,895
I'll be right back, clive.
287
00:11:05,038 --> 00:11:08,941
Do you have eyes on her? Is she here?
288
00:11:08,975 --> 00:11:11,243
2:00 -- the blonde at the back table.
289
00:11:11,277 --> 00:11:13,612
Yep. Have a visual.
290
00:11:13,646 --> 00:11:15,514
Let's not talk like that anymore.
291
00:11:15,548 --> 00:11:16,915
Over.
292
00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:18,383
Ay, this is it.
293
00:11:18,418 --> 00:11:19,918
I'm off to win the heart of my beloved.
294
00:11:21,688 --> 00:11:22,955
Well, this is nice.
295
00:11:22,989 --> 00:11:25,490
I mean, if we can't have
our own valentine's day,
296
00:11:25,525 --> 00:11:27,592
It's nice that we can
give somebody else one.
297
00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:29,261
All right, cam... I'm sorry.
298
00:11:29,295 --> 00:11:31,029
I'm so-- I'm sorry I
have not been attentive.
299
00:11:31,064 --> 00:11:32,898
I've been spending the last five months
300
00:11:32,932 --> 00:11:35,033
Pouring my core beliefs
into the greatest speech
301
00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:36,101
That I will ever write,
302
00:11:36,135 --> 00:11:37,869
And then that moment gets taken away.
303
00:11:37,904 --> 00:11:39,638
Hey, buddy, how'd it go?
304
00:11:39,672 --> 00:11:42,307
I can't do it. Not while durkas is there.
305
00:11:42,342 --> 00:11:44,242
He has the natural confidence.
306
00:11:44,277 --> 00:11:45,744
I admire it and fear it.
307
00:11:45,778 --> 00:11:48,070
We will deal with him directly.
We need a plan.
308
00:11:51,073 --> 00:11:53,674
Could you be more dramatic?
309
00:11:55,411 --> 00:11:57,845
we need a plan!
310
00:11:59,348 --> 00:12:03,751
In oregon, the state
legislature ratified a bill
311
00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:05,787
That from now on
312
00:12:05,821 --> 00:12:09,857
It is a crime to have sex in
oregon with a farm animal.
313
00:12:11,493 --> 00:12:14,796
How ugly are the women in oregon?
314
00:12:17,232 --> 00:12:18,433
He's funny, jay.
315
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:20,334
I know. See?
316
00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:22,770
I can tell -- you're not -- you're not from
oregon. No, no.
317
00:12:22,805 --> 00:12:25,673
You -- you are gorgeous. Thank you.
318
00:12:25,707 --> 00:12:28,176
Thank you for bringing
your father to the show.
319
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:30,711
I'm -- I'm her husband, dave.
320
00:12:30,746 --> 00:12:32,013
No kidding? Yeah.
321
00:12:32,047 --> 00:12:33,347
What's it like to be married
322
00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:36,150
To someone who was there
when the bible was written?
323
00:12:38,086 --> 00:12:41,055
What was it called then,
just "the testament"?
324
00:12:42,724 --> 00:12:44,826
That's -- that's good stuff.
325
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,295
Oh, now he's trying to turn out the light.
326
00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:58,074
uh, yes, hello. Mr. Durkas?
327
00:12:58,109 --> 00:12:59,142
Yeah?
328
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:00,243
Uh, yeah, this is don jolly
329
00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:01,878
With the great shakes corporate office,
330
00:13:01,913 --> 00:13:03,146
And I have good news for you.
331
00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:06,183
You have been selected to
take part in a random survey
332
00:13:06,217 --> 00:13:08,318
That you could win cash and prizes.
333
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:11,354
Does that sound like something
you'd be interested in?
334
00:13:11,389 --> 00:13:12,722
Yeah. Sure.
335
00:13:12,757 --> 00:13:14,791
Okay, just a few simple questions for you.
336
00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:17,894
Would you please rank
your favorite ice creams
337
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:20,664
At great shakes from least
favorite to favorite?
338
00:13:20,698 --> 00:13:22,098
I don't know them by heart.
339
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:24,401
There should be a menu
right there to your right.
340
00:13:24,435 --> 00:13:25,669
To your right.
341
00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:27,671
Mm-hmm. There you go.
342
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,675
Oh. Hi, manny.
343
00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:33,310
Hi, fiona. Can I join you?
344
00:13:33,344 --> 00:13:35,812
I guess so.
345
00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:40,550
and you don't have to worry
about him cheating --
346
00:13:40,585 --> 00:13:41,474
That's for sure --
347
00:13:41,809 --> 00:13:43,209
Because if he does, you'll catch him
348
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:45,545
When he comes home with two
sets of teeth in his mouth.
349
00:13:45,579 --> 00:13:47,480
Yeah.
350
00:13:47,514 --> 00:13:49,882
So, tell me, on the wedding night,
what did he do?
351
00:13:49,917 --> 00:13:51,818
Did he say he wanted to change
into something comfortable
352
00:13:51,852 --> 00:13:52,852
And go into a coma?
353
00:13:52,886 --> 00:13:54,620
Ah, ah...
354
00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:56,055
Listen, I got to use the men's room. No.
355
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:57,957
I got to use -- I'll be right back.
356
00:13:57,991 --> 00:13:59,192
Where you going? Wait a minute.
357
00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:01,027
I'm only joking. That's what I do.
358
00:14:01,061 --> 00:14:02,962
You know, you're way
younger than I am.
359
00:14:02,996 --> 00:14:04,864
You just don't look it.
360
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:13,039
Clive.
361
00:14:13,073 --> 00:14:15,508
I have a little something for you.
362
00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:16,909
What is it?
363
00:14:19,113 --> 00:14:20,379
My dress.
364
00:14:20,414 --> 00:14:22,281
Oh...
365
00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:23,516
My bra.
366
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:26,052
Oh, my g--
367
00:14:26,086 --> 00:14:28,020
My underwear.
368
00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:31,891
My god. Yeah.
369
00:14:31,925 --> 00:14:34,660
What do you say we take this upstairs?
370
00:14:34,695 --> 00:14:37,697
This is so much better
than cheesy garlic bread.
371
00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:38,765
Mmm.
372
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,267
Chocolate.
373
00:14:41,301 --> 00:14:43,269
Uh-huh. Go on. Vanilla.
374
00:14:43,303 --> 00:14:44,604
I'm taking copious notes.
375
00:14:44,638 --> 00:14:46,672
Keep going, mr. Durkas.
376
00:14:46,707 --> 00:14:49,509
So, why would ted say he
wrote the poem if he didn't?
377
00:14:49,543 --> 00:14:51,711
Maybe because you're the
cutest girl in school
378
00:14:51,745 --> 00:14:54,547
And you have a laugh that makes
science lab seem like recess.
379
00:14:57,951 --> 00:15:00,408
Would you be more or less inclined
380
00:15:00,443 --> 00:15:02,510
To visit a great shakes establishment
381
00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:04,813
If you knew your satisfaction
was guaranteed?
382
00:15:04,847 --> 00:15:06,147
That's a dumb question.
383
00:15:06,182 --> 00:15:08,049
Excuse me, it is not a
dumb question, mister --
384
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:09,417
Tarnation. He hung up.
385
00:15:09,452 --> 00:15:10,785
Then you can drop the accent.
386
00:15:12,755 --> 00:15:14,989
Delgado. What are you doing here?
387
00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:16,157
Discussing poetry.
388
00:15:16,192 --> 00:15:18,460
Maybe you'll like to recite some of yours?
389
00:15:18,494 --> 00:15:19,495
I'm not gonna recite anything.
390
00:15:19,529 --> 00:15:21,464
Just admit -- you didn't write the poem.
391
00:15:21,498 --> 00:15:22,998
I don't know what he's talking about.
392
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:24,834
Get out of here before
you get your butt kicked.
393
00:15:24,868 --> 00:15:27,002
I'm going over there. No, I got this.
394
00:15:30,106 --> 00:15:33,641
Whoa! Whoa! Sir. Sir?
395
00:15:33,676 --> 00:15:35,477
Turn around. Sir...
396
00:15:35,511 --> 00:15:36,144
You have no right
397
00:15:36,179 --> 00:15:38,113
To claim oership of another person's work.
398
00:15:38,147 --> 00:15:39,114
Who are you?
399
00:15:39,148 --> 00:15:40,616
I'm a lawyer.
400
00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:42,517
You have a lawyer?
401
00:15:42,552 --> 00:15:44,086
It is one thing to lie,
402
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,755
But then to bully this young man --
403
00:15:46,789 --> 00:15:48,089
It's unforgivable.
404
00:15:48,124 --> 00:15:50,058
And this is wh wrong with the world today.
405
00:15:50,092 --> 00:15:50,925
The big guy...
406
00:15:53,729 --> 00:15:57,065
Until the little guy says "enough."
407
00:15:57,099 --> 00:15:59,167
And that what this little guy's doing,
408
00:15:59,201 --> 00:16:01,035
Right here, right now.
409
00:16:01,070 --> 00:16:02,637
Could we stop calling me "little guy"?
410
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:03,872
I'm in the 40th percentile.
411
00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:05,273
Shh, I got this. Okay, thank you.
412
00:16:05,307 --> 00:16:06,975
Ted durkas...
413
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,644
Clearly did not write that poem.
414
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,880
I know it. He knows it.
415
00:16:11,947 --> 00:16:14,382
Deep down in your heart, fiona...
416
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,418
...You know it, too.
417
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:24,449
Shame!
418
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,917
Fine! Whatever.
419
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:27,719
I stole the stupid poem! Fiona: You did?
420
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:28,987
I told you.
421
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:29,988
There you go.
422
00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:31,422
I only did it because...
423
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,024
I had the feelings.
424
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:34,826
I just didn't know how to show them.
425
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,294
Really?
426
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:39,797
That's the sweetest thing
anyone's ever done for me.
427
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,699
You've got to be kidding me.
428
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,235
Let's get out of here. This chick's crazy.
429
00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:45,403
Seriously.
430
00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:46,971
I've never seen you like that.
431
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,040
You have no idea how good that felt.
432
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:52,176
Well, happy valentine's day, counselor.
433
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:54,579
This is all happening so fast, juliana.
434
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,849
I know. And I have to be home
to my husband by midnight.
435
00:16:57,883 --> 00:16:59,283
Ooh, a twist.
436
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,355
Phil! Phil? My coat is stuck!
437
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:05,790
Who's phil?
438
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:07,792
No, not now. Seriously, my coat is stuck!
439
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:09,127
Oh, honey, take off your coat!
440
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:10,662
Are you kidding me?! Pull it.
441
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,530
Oh, my goodness. Pull it.
442
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,134
Not good. Not good. Not good! Not --
443
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,004
Okay. Okay. Okay.
444
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,339
Come on up.
445
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,307
Treat 'em like they're
regular stairs. It's okay.
446
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,375
Come on through.
447
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:25,877
Happy valentine's day.
448
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:27,512
You look lovely. So do you.
449
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:28,780
Not in a weird way.
450
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,348
How are you? Hi. Hi.
451
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,451
Let met just get in here.
Let me get in here. Okay.
452
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:34,519
Phil?
453
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,586
Hey, tom! Hi.
454
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:36,377
How are you?
455
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:40,347
Honey, claire, you remember
tom mickelson from the office,
456
00:17:40,381 --> 00:17:42,115
And his wife, susan. Hi. I do.
457
00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:43,784
Hey. Is your coat stuck?
458
00:17:43,818 --> 00:17:45,719
It is. It really is. Yeah.
459
00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:47,454
It's in there pretty darn good.
460
00:17:47,488 --> 00:17:48,789
why don't you take it off?
461
00:17:48,823 --> 00:17:50,791
Um...I'm freezing cold.
462
00:17:50,825 --> 00:17:53,093
Well, at least let me give it a shot, okay?
463
00:17:53,127 --> 00:17:54,861
Oh, I don't think -- no,
no, no, no, I got it.
464
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,096
I...
465
00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:57,764
Mr. And mrs. Dunphy? Hey!
466
00:17:57,799 --> 00:18:00,434
Principal balaban! Hey. How are you?
467
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:02,903
Hi. Who's, uh, clive bixby?
468
00:18:02,937 --> 00:18:04,504
Oh. Uh...
469
00:18:04,539 --> 00:18:05,806
He makes speakers.
470
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,808
He's actually in town
for a trade show. Phil.
471
00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:10,110
Oh...My. Are you stuck?
472
00:18:10,144 --> 00:18:11,878
Yeah, I am. A...Little bit.
473
00:18:11,913 --> 00:18:13,313
Why don't you take off that coat?
474
00:18:13,347 --> 00:18:14,648
Um, I'm chilly.
475
00:18:14,682 --> 00:18:16,450
It's really jammed in here.
476
00:18:16,484 --> 00:18:18,885
Let me -- oh, no, I think we're okay.
477
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,221
Mrs. Dunphy! Claire: Oh!
478
00:18:21,255 --> 00:18:23,056
Are you kidding me?!
479
00:18:23,090 --> 00:18:24,424
Hi!
480
00:18:24,459 --> 00:18:26,426
Luke's math teacher, miss passwater!
481
00:18:26,461 --> 00:18:28,295
"passwater."
482
00:18:28,329 --> 00:18:30,664
Oh, jay, papi.
483
00:18:30,698 --> 00:18:32,732
Don't pay attention to what he's saying.
484
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:33,867
He's just being funny.
485
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,602
Because he points out the truth.
486
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:38,405
Those people were laughing
because they saw it, too.
487
00:18:38,439 --> 00:18:39,840
What do you care what they think?
488
00:18:39,874 --> 00:18:40,841
I don't.
489
00:18:40,875 --> 00:18:43,009
I care what you think.
490
00:18:43,044 --> 00:18:44,578
I love you. You're my valentine.
491
00:18:44,612 --> 00:18:45,579
Yeah, for now.
492
00:18:45,613 --> 00:18:47,080
But what about when I'm 80
493
00:18:47,114 --> 00:18:48,815
And I' a wheelchair, on oxygen?
494
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:50,250
You still gonna want me?
495
00:18:50,284 --> 00:18:51,651
Do you think I'm so shallow
496
00:18:51,686 --> 00:18:53,553
That I'm gonna leave you when you're old?
497
00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:56,012
What if I gain 100 pounds?
You gonna leave me then?
498
00:18:57,447 --> 00:18:58,414
No!
499
00:18:58,448 --> 00:19:00,449
What's with the pause?!
500
00:19:00,484 --> 00:19:01,784
Well, it's not exactly fair.
501
00:19:01,819 --> 00:19:04,654
I mean, I have to get old.
You don't have to get fat.
502
00:19:04,688 --> 00:19:06,255
If I want to get fat, I get fat.
503
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:08,357
Okay, fine. And if you do,
I'll be there. You'll see.
504
00:19:08,392 --> 00:19:11,127
Oh, yeah, watch me. Watch me how I get fat!
505
00:19:11,161 --> 00:19:12,929
I can get fat.
506
00:19:12,963 --> 00:19:14,297
And I'll be there.
507
00:19:14,331 --> 00:19:15,464
Mm.
508
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:18,134
Good.
509
00:19:18,168 --> 00:19:20,036
You want to go back in? No.
510
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,437
I got a better idea.
511
00:19:21,471 --> 00:19:23,072
Let's go salsa dancing.
512
00:19:23,106 --> 00:19:24,774
This guy's not that funny.
513
00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:27,009
Perfect.
514
00:19:28,078 --> 00:19:29,478
We're good! We're good!
515
00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:31,080
I talked to maintenance.
516
00:19:31,114 --> 00:19:33,316
They're -- they're coming, so go on ahead.
517
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:34,984
Oh. phil: See you guys.
518
00:19:35,018 --> 00:19:36,652
See you later. See you at school?
519
00:19:36,687 --> 00:19:37,720
Good to see you guys.
520
00:19:37,754 --> 00:19:39,288
Maintenance is gonna take care of it.
521
00:19:39,323 --> 00:19:40,790
So we're fine. Okay.
522
00:19:40,824 --> 00:19:42,124
Okay, how long till they get here?
523
00:19:42,159 --> 00:19:44,160
I was faking it. No one's coming for us.
524
00:19:44,228 --> 00:19:46,295
Well, then, go and get them!
525
00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:49,632
Hurry! That was the most
embarrassing moment of my life!
526
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,868
Claire! Phil!
527
00:19:51,902 --> 00:19:53,102
Stand by.
528
00:19:54,304 --> 00:19:55,705
Hey.
529
00:19:55,739 --> 00:19:57,340
What, did you get your belt stuck?
530
00:19:57,374 --> 00:19:59,208
I did. Yeah. Yeah.
531
00:19:59,243 --> 00:20:00,877
Well, take your coat off.
Here, let me help you.
532
00:20:00,911 --> 00:20:02,745
No, no, dad, dad...
533
00:20:02,779 --> 00:20:04,480
Come on, what are you, naked under there?
534
00:20:05,916 --> 00:20:07,016
Oh, geez.
535
00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:08,417
It's okay.
536
00:20:08,452 --> 00:20:09,886
I got this.
537
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,454
O...Kay.
538
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:15,845
Claire, follow my lead, okay? Claire: Okay.
539
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,114
Okay.
540
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,289
Wow. Okay.
541
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:27,058
Thank you.
542
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,694
It has happened to me before.
543
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,495
That was impressive.
544
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:34,332
Take it down a notch, "clive."
545
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:36,867
You okay?
546
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:37,935
Yeah, I'm good.
547
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,804
All right. Happy valentine's day.
548
00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,239
Happy valentine's day.
549
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,608
See ya. Bye. Good night.
550
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:44,609
Oh.
551
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,944
sorry.
552
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,579
See you guys.
553
00:20:51,654 --> 00:20:54,022
Hey. I just wanted to tell you how
great you were last night.: Hi, honey.
554
00:20:54,057 --> 00:20:55,257
Uh, phil...
555
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:57,759
Sorry I got the, um,
the oil everywhere, but, hey...
556
00:20:57,794 --> 00:20:58,727
Sweetie --
557
00:20:58,761 --> 00:20:59,995
They're not our sheets, right?
558
00:21:01,264 --> 00:21:03,198
Honey, honey, remember
when the salesman told us
559
00:21:03,232 --> 00:21:05,701
That the sienna was built with
the whole fami in mind? Yeah.
560
00:21:05,735 --> 00:21:08,370
Well, the whole family
just heard that.
561
00:21:08,404 --> 00:21:10,906
Uh, well, I guess...
562
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:12,574
I guessthe bluetooth works.
563
00:21:12,608 --> 00:21:13,842
Mm.
564
00:21:13,876 --> 00:21:15,777
Why did you have oil?
565
00:21:15,812 --> 00:21:19,715
Because, buddy, we were making french fri!
566
00:21:19,749 --> 00:21:20,816
In your room?
567
00:21:20,817 --> 00:21:22,817
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
38758
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