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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,293 Once upon a time... 2 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,663 about three months ago on a Tuesday... 3 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,133 this thing happened... 4 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:11,603 in a peaceful, tucked-away part of the Bronx... 5 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,265 called City Island... 6 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,240 a place that's many things. 7 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,175 To the sailor, it's sailing. 8 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,768 To the fisherman, it's fishing. 9 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,781 To the soul searcher, it's soul searching. 10 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:25,273 That's me! Mona Barcavella, psychic herbalist. 11 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:30,119 I'm doing my dance to conjure up a good summer tourist trade... 12 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,785 but because City Island is home to Italian Americans... 13 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,819 to them, it's eating. 14 00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:40,629 Here food is king, and no place was more beloved... 15 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,067 than the Prince Rosario House of Cappamezza... 16 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,300 Gourmet Catering and Original Wedding Designs... 17 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:49,308 ruled by Sadie and Mike Cappamezza... 18 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,969 More hot pepper! 19 00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:54,138 ...whose Sicilian cooking was known for hot colors... 20 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:58,810 spicy sauces, and jumbo portions. 21 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,821 Then one day, there opened across the bay... 22 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,824 the Royal House of Malacici of Florence... 23 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:08,316 Continental Caterers and Wedding Couturiers... 24 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:11,262 owned by real blue bloods from Italy... 25 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,765 Count and Contessa Malacici... 26 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,760 and they brought City Islanders their Northern Italian cuisine: 27 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,273 Dainty, low-fat portions... 28 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:25,300 pastel colors, subtle flavors. 29 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,774 It was inevitable... 30 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:32,774 between the two families there would be bad blood. 31 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,778 Shakespeare once said, "Hey! What's in a name?" 32 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,791 But he was wrong... 33 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,293 because Cappamezza means "half a head"... 34 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:45,559 and Malacici means "bad beans." 35 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:48,829 The story begins Fourth of July... 36 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:51,063 when our local church was about to put on... 37 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,197 its annual amateur benefit... 38 00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:57,073 What if her eyes were there, they in her head? 39 00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,341 The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars. 40 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,644 O, that I were a glove upon that hand... 41 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,082 that I might touch that cheek. 42 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,143 Which brings us to our heroine... 43 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,655 my best customer, Sadie Cappamezza... 44 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,054 Ah, me. 45 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,081 You give me so much more than Isabel Fasuli. 46 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,253 She weighs 50 pounds more than me. 47 00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:17,092 How can I believe that's Juliet? 48 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:20,065 You got to make believe you love her, too. 49 00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:24,763 And the joy of her life, Rosario Cappamezza... 50 00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:27,773 the prince of the Prince Rosario House of Cappamezza... 51 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:30,605 Gourmet Catering and Original Wedding Designs. 52 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:31,940 Rudy, give me a break! 53 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,776 - I'm giving you 2/3 off! - It's still not enough. 54 00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:36,076 Give it to her for cost. 55 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,912 Mary, the food is for the church benefit. 56 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,044 I want a better price than cost. 57 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,781 Better than cost? We should take a loss? 58 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:46,019 When you give to God, you get a huge tax deduction. 59 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,583 All right, half cost. 60 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,424 You're only halfway to heaven. 61 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:52,090 Go to hell! 62 00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,292 All right, you get it for nothing. 63 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:56,199 Here's $10 for the church. 64 00:03:57,503 --> 00:03:58,970 Good morning, Dr. Rondino. 65 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,472 Good morning, Mrs. Rondino. 66 00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,974 - Good morning. - I break both arms. 67 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,307 My son, the dottore, he fix them. 68 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,813 I never saw anyone so accidental-prone... 69 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,781 like Mrs. Rondino. 70 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,250 Her son is the most eligible doctor in the neighborhood... 71 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,412 but her broken bones keeps him home. 72 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,116 Even Mother Teresa would call a mother like that... 73 00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,748 a bossy scuccamend. 74 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:21,760 Mrs. Rondino is not as dumb as she looks. 75 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:24,592 Married sons, they turn on their mothers now because... 76 00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:27,122 daughter-in-laws, nothing is sacred to them anymore. 77 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:30,761 My son Johnny married this mamarel Louise. 78 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:31,963 Sweet girl. 79 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,700 Sweet? I said to her one day... 80 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,903 "Would you mind carrying my groceries, please?" 81 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,274 You know what she said to me? 82 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:41,075 "Carry your own friggin' bags, bitch." 83 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,809 Oh, my God. 84 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,510 I look over at my son Johnny... 85 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,018 and he's looking at her like this. 86 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,783 My Rosario, he would never ever treat me like that... 87 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:52,347 when he's old enough to get married. 88 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:02,327 Taking anybody to the charity ball after the show? 89 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,336 I'm helping Pop with the pasta. 90 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,669 How about I call Angela Mercandante for you? 91 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,299 Ma, don't start with me. 92 00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,401 What about I mention you to Cathy Augustino's mother? 93 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,002 - Ma! - Watch out! 94 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,014 Idiot! You cut me off! 95 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,211 We'll put you out of business, you Sicilian swamp guinea! 96 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,947 I got the right of way! You'll put your sister's ass... 97 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,852 out of business, you Florentine mountain wop! 98 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,220 Rosario! 99 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,761 I'm sorry I cursed, Ma... 100 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,195 but if these Malacicis think they're so good... 101 00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:33,630 how come they didn't stay in Italy? 102 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,759 Rosario, forget about the Malacicis. 103 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,771 You just think about playing Romeo tonight... 104 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,273 that you're going to be even better this year... 105 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:45,300 than you was last year as Pinocchio. 106 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:54,814 Mona! 107 00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:57,478 Hi! 108 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,757 This Malacici crisis is making me crazy. 109 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,162 We're in debt up to here from expanding... 110 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,461 and we may lose the Fredericos... 111 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,297 the biggest wedding of the season... 112 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,734 to these intruders! 113 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,738 I brought sfogliatelle. 114 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,262 My favorite! 115 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,910 I don't know if my business can handle... 116 00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,174 this kind of competition, you know? 117 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,011 I haven't lost one pound on my new diet. 118 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,246 And my husband hasn't made love to me in weeks. 119 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,753 What am I going to do, Mona? 120 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,415 Is there another woman? 121 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:34,256 Blessed Roscoe says... 122 00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,751 he sees your business prospering. 123 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,766 The Blessed Roscoe says... 124 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,268 keep looking at the sunny side. 125 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,429 Good. Good. 126 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,530 Who's the Blessed Roscoe? 127 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,939 My new guide. 128 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:52,035 What happened to the Angel Vito? 129 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,774 His work was done on City Island. 130 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,749 He moved on to another psychic named Shirley Ballucas... 131 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,809 in Bayonne, New Jersey. 132 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,780 But the Blessed Roscoe is a powerful presence! 133 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,793 In the 17th Century... 134 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,729 when his eyes were gouged and his fingers chopped off... 135 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,733 and he was burnt at the stake... 136 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:19,727 he smiled and said, "Don't feel guilty." 137 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:23,264 That's why he's known as the Merry Martyr. 138 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,800 You tell him I'm really pleased to meet him. 139 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,746 The Blessed Roscoe knows you are. 140 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:33,241 Here. Wear this rose oil when you're meeting customers. 141 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,016 The money will come floating in. 142 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,148 About your diet... 143 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,751 maybe you're having trouble because you're afraid... 144 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:46,163 like I am, that every man wants me sexually. 145 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,292 About your husband... 146 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,494 Yeah? 147 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,264 The Blessed Roscoe says... 148 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,772 there's no other woman in his life. 149 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,774 Who's Fidella? 150 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:59,300 That's our cat. He plays with her a lot. 151 00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:01,779 That will taper off. 152 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,782 Here. 153 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,182 Burn these in your bedroom... 154 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,552 and he'll want lust from you. 155 00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:13,025 The Blessed Roscoe says it will be heartfelt but quick. 156 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,527 Look, it's a start. 157 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:18,257 About Rosario... 158 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:22,230 I'm smelling a little problem... 159 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,202 but a deep one. 160 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,364 - Oh, no. - Yes. 161 00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,737 I'm smelling him falling in love with a girl... 162 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:32,938 he's saying poetry to. That's her. 163 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,211 He's playing Romeo tonight... 164 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,547 but it couldn't be with this Juliet. 165 00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,108 Smell for yourself. 166 00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:45,245 I'm smelling him loving so passionately... 167 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,555 nothing stands in his way. 168 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:50,756 This girl playing Juliet... Isabel Fasuli... 169 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:53,264 she's a scuccamend! 170 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,267 And we're catering her wedding. 171 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,861 She's marrying Vinny Baldilamente. 172 00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,394 Blessed Roscoe? 173 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,468 Blessed Roscoe agrees. 174 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:08,469 I never thought I'd lose him this soon. 175 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:12,917 Oh, boy. 176 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,111 Oh, boy. 177 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:20,350 The meats don't go in the sauce yet! 178 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,724 That's stupid! 179 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,422 Any dummy will tell you they're ready for the sauce! 180 00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,191 I catch you messing with my sauce again... 181 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,892 behind my back I'll kick you out of the kitchen! 182 00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,026 You'll kick your sauce out of the kitchen! 183 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,764 What's going on here? 184 00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:33,931 Look at my meat. Is it ready for the sauce yet? 185 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,237 No. You got to get out more fat. 186 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,266 You're crazy! As crazy as him. 187 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,438 Ma, put your tooth back in. 188 00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:42,276 I can't remember where I put it. 189 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,646 And don't call us crazy no more. 190 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,447 I always call you crazy. It never bothered you before. 191 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,385 It always bothered me. 192 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,912 - It bothers you, too? - Of course! 193 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,925 You should have told me sooner. 194 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,120 I'm too old to change now. 195 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,958 Mikey... 196 00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,396 I got to talk to you private. 197 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,400 Can we go up to the house? 198 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,958 Sure. 199 00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,104 Rocco, stay with the sauce. 200 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,765 She tries anything funny... 201 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,799 throw yourself in front of the pot. 202 00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:16,280 Will you promise me that if I tell you this problem... 203 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,783 you won't make fun of me? 204 00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,012 I promise. 205 00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,282 You know that I'm psychic. 206 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:23,788 Yeah? 207 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,053 And so is my friend Mona. 208 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,117 Mona the nut? 209 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,287 Mona is not a nut. 210 00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:33,298 She's a clairvoyant for a living... 211 00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:37,962 and the Blessed Roscoe told Mona... 212 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:40,973 that Rosario is going to fall in love... 213 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,942 and give up everything for his Juliet. 214 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:48,379 Every week, Mona's got a different saint or angel... 215 00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,814 that nobody ever heard of who speaks only to her. 216 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,318 How can you believe this stuff? 217 00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:56,810 Because Mona helps me find the invisible forces here. 218 00:10:56,856 --> 00:11:00,815 It helps me discover what I'm doing here on earth. 219 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,829 I discussed it in my prayers with the Holy Mother... 220 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,831 and she said it was OK with her. 221 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,833 You want me to ask her again? 222 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,267 - Dear Holy Mother... - No, no, no. 223 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,271 Don't bother the Holy Mother with something like this. 224 00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:16,763 Look, I'm a little tired. I want to take a nap. 225 00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,037 You want to take a nap with me? 226 00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:21,274 - Nap? - Yeah. 227 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:25,409 - Yeah. - OK. I'll be right back. 228 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:37,418 I got Fidella in the middle so you can hold her, too. 229 00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:49,291 As is a winged messenger of Heaven... 230 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,304 into the white-upturned wandering eyes... 231 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,535 the lazy-pacing clouds and sails... 232 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,098 upon the bosom of the air... 233 00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,873 of mortals that fall back to gaze on him... 234 00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:03,313 when he bestrides the lazy, puffing clouds. 235 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:07,308 O Romeo! Romeo! 236 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,480 Whereforth art thou, Romeo? 237 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,752 Deny thy father! 238 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,316 And refuse thy na... 239 00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:28,465 I hope I didn't do that with my negative thoughts. 240 00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,441 Are you all right, Isabel? 241 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,104 I can't move my leg! 242 00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:35,944 Rosario, go get Dr. Rondino. 243 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,949 Tell him to come right over. 244 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,951 How did this happen, Miss DeLuca? 245 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,976 I seen the whole episode, Monsignor. 246 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,648 She overacted with her foot... 247 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:46,658 and tumbled down like a wounded rhino. Forsooth. 248 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:49,286 Don't call me no rhino, zits breath. 249 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,297 How am I supposed to get married tomorrow? 250 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,799 I hate this stupid play! 251 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,803 I told you the balcony was made of plywood. 252 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,305 Why did you stamp your foot? 253 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:04,298 I should have harnessed her to the wall, Dr. Rondino. 254 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,811 Oh, no. It wouldn't have helped, Miss DeLuca. 255 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,110 It's not broken. 256 00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,740 You just stay off it for 24 hours... 257 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,650 and you'll be marching down the aisle. 258 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,813 All right, boys, help her out to my car. 259 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,756 We've got to get you home and get that leg iced. 260 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:22,090 - What a buffalo! - Shut up, you shithead! 261 00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:23,287 Twenty-four hours! 262 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:26,127 We'll have the understudy play Juliet. 263 00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,530 Understudy? 264 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:31,002 Where is Niccolina Sousto? 265 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,870 Niccolina, where are you going? 266 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,273 I don't know the whole part. 267 00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:40,039 I'll whisper the words to you off the stage. 268 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,479 Please, Father, don't make me do this. 269 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:46,075 Niccolina, you only have to do your best. 270 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:57,793 OK, Niccolina, we'll find somebody else to play the part. 271 00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:01,231 I know the part, Miss DeLuca. I always wanted to play it. 272 00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:04,794 No, Francis! You're too good as the nurse... 273 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,964 and it would be too hard to replace you. 274 00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:08,564 Isn't that right, Monsignor? 275 00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:12,236 What else can we do, Sadie? We're sold out. 276 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,303 We'll have to give refunds. 277 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,746 Why don't we call all the dramatic schools... 278 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:19,250 and we'll find some really nice girl... 279 00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,651 who can read the part from the script? 280 00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,882 This is a very good idea, Sadie. 281 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:28,223 But let's make sure that all the girls send over... 282 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,286 their most recent photographs with their hobbies... 283 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:34,731 their future ambitions, and their religious attitudes. 284 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,758 Why do I have to be here? 285 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,930 This may be the girl we spend the rest of our lives with. 286 00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,769 You can stop calling. 287 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:45,868 This couple just came in and made a donation... 288 00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:50,780 and then they told me their daughter played that part. 289 00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:54,616 She'll play Juliet to your son's Romeo. 290 00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:56,348 You look familiar. 291 00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,548 Is possible. 292 00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,683 Mr. And Mrs. Cappamezza... 293 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:04,253 meet Count and Contessa Malacici. 294 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,059 Pleasure. 295 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,233 Look, Sadie, it's just for one night... 296 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:15,740 so let's not make a big thing out of it. 297 00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,742 OK, Sadie? 298 00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,767 Feel better? 299 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,747 A little. There must be a way... 300 00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:25,079 I can turn around what Mona said is going to happen. 301 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,085 Look... 302 00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,087 you think I want Rosario to ejaculate himself... 303 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,681 out of this family prematurely? 304 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:37,922 But did anything Mona ever tell you would happen happen? 305 00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:40,363 Practically everything. 306 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,798 How come she told you... 307 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,734 that we're going to be rich, and we're in debt... 308 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,397 that your mother was going to move out... 309 00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,271 and she just asked us for a new mattress... 310 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:53,301 that your friend Sally would have the best year of her life, 311 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,905 and she died? How come? 312 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:59,145 Oh, ye of little faith. 313 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,278 Once we raise enough money to franchise our sauces... 314 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:05,188 and our wedding creations, we are going to be rich. 315 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,919 And my mother still may move out... 316 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,291 and she'll take her new mattress with her. 317 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:10,727 My girlfriend Sally could be having... 318 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:15,063 her best year ever right now in Heaven. 319 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,228 Ma! Pop! I just heard about the Malacici girl. 320 00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:20,738 Pop, could you imagine them asking me to play Romeo... 321 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,140 opposite the daughter of that Florentine? 322 00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:27,145 Every bone in my body tells me I should quit right now... 323 00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,612 and forget about it. 324 00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:31,343 Honey, if you feel like that... 325 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,943 But the show must go on. Miss DeLuca wants me... 326 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,750 to go introduce myself before rehearsal. 327 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,451 - I'm going with you! - What for? 328 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,119 It will give me a chance to see their operation. 329 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,619 But I got to go home and change into something more apropos. 330 00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:56,801 God Almighty! Get a load of this place! 331 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:59,504 These people wouldn't know a sausage if they fell over one. 332 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,771 Makes me sick to go in there. 333 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,614 - Maybe... - Are you all right, Ma? 334 00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,449 Do I have a bump? 335 00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:09,954 Here. Let me see. 336 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:11,819 It's all right, Ma. 337 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:14,155 This Romeo is a mama's boy. 338 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,559 What masculine boy kisses a mother... 339 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,063 on the eye after three years old? 340 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,201 Hi. I'm Rosario Cappamezza. 341 00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,399 This is my... 342 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,567 Yes. We have met at the church. 343 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:36,236 I thought I would chaperone the children to rehearsal... 344 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:41,514 because I wanted to be socially au courant... 345 00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:45,580 and because I'm the mother. 346 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,252 Please come in. 347 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,961 Beautiful. 348 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,768 Gina just returned from her boarding school... 349 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,274 and she's taking her beauty bath. 350 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,299 Please to sit down, eh? 351 00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:46,115 May we offer you some refreshment? 352 00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:49,746 We have profiterole, tiramisu, banana torte... 353 00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:53,246 eight kinds of gelati, and six kinds of sorbetto. 354 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,782 All fresh... 355 00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:58,262 homemade, home-grown, and hand-decorated. 356 00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:01,755 No, thank you. We make all the same desserts... 357 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,133 plus zuppa Inglese, zabaione, coppa di marrone. 358 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,469 Don't tell me you make your own chocolate. 359 00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:13,444 Milk, bittersweet, nougat, and white with nuts. 360 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:17,278 From a recipe that is 400 years old? 361 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,614 From a recipe that Frank Sinatra himself... 362 00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:23,280 said was the best he ever tasted on City Island. 363 00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:24,789 The president of Italy... 364 00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:28,816 once ate two portions of our risotto con funghi. 365 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,791 During the pope's visit in 1982... 366 00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:36,300 the Holy Father had three portions... 367 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,236 of our clams posillipo, to go. 368 00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:41,296 In four centuries of operation... 369 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,308 our restaurant in Firenze was visited... 370 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:46,800 by two nuns who later were canonized... 371 00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,312 Santa Teresa DeMontania... 372 00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,315 and Santa Rudolpha Legatti... 373 00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:55,548 for whom our bronzino in brodetto di Rudolpha was named. 374 00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:01,019 Our dishwasher speaks Chinese. 375 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,604 This is our daughter Regina. 376 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,838 Hi. 377 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,814 This is my mother Sadie Cappamezza... 378 00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:59,316 and I'm R-r-r... 379 00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:02,286 Rosario Cappamezza. 380 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,482 How do you do? 381 00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:07,651 Gina has consented to play the part of Juliet... 382 00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,923 even though she must leave tomorrow. 383 00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:11,451 Where are you going? 384 00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:12,758 Paris. 385 00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:14,390 For the summer... 386 00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:16,799 to study with the Ballet Russe. 387 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,132 Paris, France? 388 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,401 There's so much more to do there than there is here. 389 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,771 You can climb the Eiffel Tower... 390 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:24,776 and you can go to the cancan. 391 00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,971 We should go. We're going to be late. 392 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,809 It was nice meeting you. 393 00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:39,620 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 394 00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:41,785 Don't you yell at my son! 395 00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:44,796 He bumps himself a lot when he's happy... 396 00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:49,961 and he's very happy that he has a thin Juliet. 397 00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:59,833 You have a very nice bathroom. 398 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,348 Can I drop you anywhere, Ma? 399 00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:10,753 Drop me? 400 00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:14,247 Yeah. When Miss DeLuca first works with an actor... 401 00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:17,261 she doesn't like to have any eyewitnesses. 402 00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:20,287 I mean, amateur nonactors. 403 00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:26,771 So, Ma, can I drop you or what? 404 00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:29,774 No, no, no. It's not far. I'll walk. 405 00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,298 OK. 406 00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:44,046 You dress funny. 407 00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:48,956 I like it. 408 00:23:57,702 --> 00:24:03,501 I'm smelling her. 409 00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:07,000 Is this new Juliet the one that my Rosario... 410 00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:08,808 is going to give up his life for? 411 00:24:08,847 --> 00:24:14,012 Big bosom, strong thighs, small culo? 412 00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:16,782 - Yeah. - That's her. 413 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:21,353 The Blessed Roscoe corroborates. 414 00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:24,624 At least she's leaving tomorrow. 415 00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:28,326 Maybe no damage can be done between now and then. Right? 416 00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:32,893 What does the Blessed Roscoe say I should do? 417 00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:34,769 Nothing. 418 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:39,971 Love... is all there is. 419 00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:42,536 Love is all there is? 420 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,140 How did the candles work? 421 00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:48,778 My husband told me to hold the cat, too. 422 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:52,654 I made a mistake. 423 00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:55,785 Those candles are for young honeymooners in trouble. 424 00:24:55,827 --> 00:25:00,287 You need something for older eroticism that's capsizing. 425 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:03,995 Here. When these burn down to the genital area... 426 00:25:04,035 --> 00:25:06,469 he'll be sure to grab you, not the cat. 427 00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:07,802 Thanks. 428 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:12,742 That's $9 for the candles, $30 for the reading... 429 00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:16,736 Look, about Rosario, I just can't do nothing? 430 00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:19,773 He's too young to ruin his life. 431 00:25:21,286 --> 00:25:22,776 Hold the phone. 432 00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:36,764 Take these two birds. 433 00:25:36,801 --> 00:25:40,259 The one with the yellow ring is the male. 434 00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:42,830 He represents your son. 435 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:45,775 Keep sprinkling oregano on his tail... 436 00:25:45,810 --> 00:25:49,268 the desire for higher education. 437 00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:52,772 The other one is the female. 438 00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:56,776 Squint your eyes. You see her aura? 439 00:25:56,821 --> 00:25:58,618 Right now it's white... 440 00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:01,285 because the Blessed Roscoe is present. 441 00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:04,295 This is an aura duster. 442 00:26:04,329 --> 00:26:10,097 Keep dusting her aura to keep her love for Rosario pure. 443 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,227 Don't let it turn orange... 444 00:26:13,271 --> 00:26:16,240 or you're in the danger, lower-crotch area. 445 00:26:16,274 --> 00:26:21,234 Here. Keep reciting this chant to the two birds. 446 00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:24,248 "He is love deep. 447 00:26:24,282 --> 00:26:27,740 "He is sacrifice all. 448 00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:31,244 "He is education's first. 449 00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:34,383 "He is in it for the long haul." 450 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:38,260 OK. That's $3.00 for the oregano... 451 00:26:38,296 --> 00:26:40,264 $24.50 for the aura duster... 452 00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,266 $42.50 for the birds... 453 00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:44,734 a buck and a half for the chant. 454 00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:48,261 He is love deep. 455 00:26:48,306 --> 00:26:51,275 He is sacrifice all. 456 00:26:51,309 --> 00:26:54,073 But his education's first. 457 00:26:54,145 --> 00:26:56,773 All right, as soon as she's in the costume... 458 00:26:56,815 --> 00:26:58,783 we're going to start the rehearsal. 459 00:26:58,817 --> 00:27:00,910 - Yes, Miss DeLuca. - We know. 460 00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:05,855 I hear... that the new Juliet's dress... 461 00:27:05,890 --> 00:27:08,450 had to be opened up this much on top. 462 00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:10,552 That's how big her titties are. 463 00:27:10,595 --> 00:27:12,563 I wish I had that problem. 464 00:27:12,597 --> 00:27:15,122 Every night, I pray that mine will grow bigger. 465 00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:17,726 My mother says it ain't the size that counts. 466 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:19,703 It's the quality. 467 00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:22,707 That's because your mother got small titties. 468 00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:25,039 I hope she's built better than Isabel. 469 00:27:25,076 --> 00:27:27,704 With her belly, the audience wouldn't even have seen me. 470 00:27:27,746 --> 00:27:28,906 I hear she's from Italy... 471 00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:31,313 so she don't talk English too good like us. 472 00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:33,408 Where do you think Romeo and Juliet lived? 473 00:27:33,451 --> 00:27:36,420 In England. Ain't that where Shakespeare lives? 474 00:27:36,454 --> 00:27:38,547 Shakespeare's dead, you dope. 475 00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:41,252 How do I know? I don't watch PMS. 476 00:27:41,292 --> 00:27:43,260 I got ham and provolone. 477 00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:47,253 - Ciabatta and anchovies. - I got eggs. 478 00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:49,664 Ronny, your pizza's here! 479 00:27:49,701 --> 00:27:51,794 Where's the pepperoni? 480 00:27:59,878 --> 00:28:01,175 Snack time is over! 481 00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:03,271 All right, come on. Let's get to work. 482 00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:08,278 All right. Gina, you have just met Rosario... 483 00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:12,722 so I want to assure you that the kisses will be discreet. 484 00:28:12,757 --> 00:28:14,725 All right. With your bodies apart... 485 00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:18,718 you're going to let your lips brush lightly... 486 00:28:18,763 --> 00:28:22,221 like a butterfly's wings on a rose petal. 487 00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:26,226 You got to leave the passion to the audience's imagination. 488 00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:28,239 All right? Go ahead. 489 00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:31,242 Wait! Keep this much space between your torsos. 490 00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:37,704 Let your lips just touch for one brief instant. 491 00:28:37,749 --> 00:28:38,909 Perfect! 492 00:28:38,950 --> 00:28:40,417 OK, everybody, come on! 493 00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:42,943 Places from the top of the show! 494 00:28:44,789 --> 00:28:47,781 My granddaughter Rita's playing the part of Prologue. 495 00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:51,455 Mikey, if you could have seen the way he drooled... 496 00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:52,758 when he looked at her. 497 00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,424 Boys his age are supposed to drool. 498 00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:56,764 But Mona says he's going to give up everything... 499 00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:58,268 She really sees you coming. 500 00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:00,601 Now we got two frigging birds who can't stop crapping... 501 00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:01,935 stinking up our house. 502 00:29:01,973 --> 00:29:03,270 What are you two talking about? 503 00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:06,277 - Nothing. - I saw your lips moving. 504 00:29:06,311 --> 00:29:08,279 Where's your tooth? 505 00:29:08,313 --> 00:29:10,713 I forgot. 506 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,910 There they are. 507 00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:15,215 Look at them with their Florentine noses in the air. 508 00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:17,278 It looks like they're smelling something. 509 00:29:17,322 --> 00:29:20,189 They're looking this way. 510 00:29:20,225 --> 00:29:23,524 I am sure that Regina having to act... 511 00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:26,587 with the son of these Sicilians make her as sick as I am. 512 00:29:26,631 --> 00:29:29,031 We have no choice... 513 00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:32,594 because we have to win over their low-class clientele. 514 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,736 Good morrow. 515 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,746 Is the day so young? 516 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:43,611 But new struck nine. 517 00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:50,754 Ay me, sad hours long. 518 00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:53,917 Was that my father that went hence so fast? 519 00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:56,119 It was. 520 00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:58,755 He is so handsome... 521 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,265 just like Errol Flynn in the old movies. 522 00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:03,859 He fences good. You'd never know he was clumsy. 523 00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:05,631 Oh, shit! 524 00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:06,932 'Tis not to me she speaks. 525 00:30:06,971 --> 00:30:09,997 Why do they make him wear them blue pantyhose? 526 00:30:10,041 --> 00:30:12,100 It makes his dingle look too big. 527 00:30:12,143 --> 00:30:13,303 Shh, Ma. 528 00:30:13,344 --> 00:30:16,780 God forbid! Where is this girl? 529 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:20,774 Juliet! Juliet! 530 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:22,286 How now, who calls? 531 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,787 Your mother. 532 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:27,519 Madam, I am here. What is your will? 533 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,789 How eloquent she is. 534 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,524 Yes, but is a mismatch... 535 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,465 because she make the Sicilian mama's boy... 536 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,991 Iook like a buffoon from the circus. 537 00:31:14,639 --> 00:31:17,267 Saints do not move... 538 00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:20,277 though grant for my prayers' sake. 539 00:31:20,311 --> 00:31:23,371 Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. 540 00:31:26,317 --> 00:31:28,444 Oh, boy. 541 00:31:37,328 --> 00:31:39,296 Thy drugs are quick. 542 00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:43,824 Thus with a kiss I die. 543 00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:55,644 They're doing it for real. 544 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,648 Rosario! 545 00:31:57,682 --> 00:32:00,810 Rosario! No more. 546 00:32:00,852 --> 00:32:02,479 Stop! 547 00:32:05,356 --> 00:32:10,225 My God. I never saw this before. 548 00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:13,926 How dare he do that to my little girl! 549 00:32:13,965 --> 00:32:15,762 He pretend to be mama's boy. 550 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,893 Oldest Sicilian trick in the back of the book. 551 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:20,803 Why she don't stop him? Why? 552 00:32:20,838 --> 00:32:23,773 Because she has to act as if she's dead... 553 00:32:23,808 --> 00:32:25,503 and he's taken advantage. 554 00:32:25,543 --> 00:32:27,272 Mona knew. 555 00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:29,280 The Blessed Roscoe knew. 556 00:32:29,314 --> 00:32:31,282 That's what masculine acting is. 557 00:32:31,316 --> 00:32:33,716 You kiss the girl like you go for her. 558 00:32:33,751 --> 00:32:35,412 Her aura is changing. 559 00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:37,387 - What? - Nothing. 560 00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,014 Rosario! 561 00:32:43,895 --> 00:32:46,887 She is kissing him with her mouth open. 562 00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:49,565 Stop! 563 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,465 I don't care if I lose the business. 564 00:32:51,502 --> 00:32:53,299 I don't raise my daughter for this. 565 00:32:53,338 --> 00:32:55,306 I am going to pull the curtain. 566 00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:57,137 Let me go! You don't understand. 567 00:32:57,175 --> 00:32:58,802 Get out of the way! 568 00:32:58,843 --> 00:33:00,401 ...violate my daughter. Let me out of here! 569 00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:06,547 Piero, come back! They've stopped kissing! 570 00:33:06,584 --> 00:33:09,451 Come back. Come on. 571 00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:11,250 Please, let me go. 572 00:33:11,289 --> 00:33:14,281 You got some nerve, fatso. 573 00:33:15,393 --> 00:33:18,794 I... die. 574 00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:23,090 I hate those pantyhose. 575 00:33:23,134 --> 00:33:26,331 His dingle looks even bigger now. 576 00:33:28,239 --> 00:33:31,766 Dear God! Is he stiff? 577 00:33:31,809 --> 00:33:33,777 I think he's stiff from her. 578 00:33:33,811 --> 00:33:36,109 That's just a towel in there... 579 00:33:36,147 --> 00:33:38,274 so they don't hurt it when they duel. 580 00:33:38,316 --> 00:33:41,911 It's a towel. I'm so relieved. 581 00:33:41,953 --> 00:33:45,286 - Let me see! - Get out of my way! 582 00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:46,984 Stop looking. 583 00:33:49,927 --> 00:33:52,691 Sicilian son of a bitch! 584 00:33:52,730 --> 00:33:54,664 This is so embarrassing. 585 00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,758 It's growing. 586 00:34:03,274 --> 00:34:05,435 I will kiss thy lips. 587 00:34:05,476 --> 00:34:08,809 Haply some poison yet doth hang on them... 588 00:34:08,846 --> 00:34:11,246 to make me die with a restorative. 589 00:34:11,282 --> 00:34:15,378 My poor baby has to kiss the Sicilian animal now! 590 00:34:15,420 --> 00:34:18,287 I hope she bite off his lips and spit them into his face! 591 00:34:25,963 --> 00:34:27,555 Oh, my God. 592 00:34:27,598 --> 00:34:29,589 This must be method acting. 593 00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:33,092 Gina... a butterfly's wings. 594 00:34:33,137 --> 00:34:35,071 A butterfly's wings. 595 00:34:37,008 --> 00:34:38,942 Her aura, it's turning orange. 596 00:34:38,976 --> 00:34:41,001 Go for it, Gina! 597 00:34:41,045 --> 00:34:43,775 He is love deep. 598 00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:46,283 He is sacrifice all. 599 00:34:46,317 --> 00:34:48,785 If she were my daughter, I'd break her head. 600 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:52,312 They must've used two towels. 601 00:34:53,491 --> 00:34:56,654 - Here he goes again! - Sit down, fatso! 602 00:34:56,694 --> 00:34:58,457 You want a rap in the mouth? 603 00:34:58,496 --> 00:34:59,793 Yeah? Step in the toilet! 604 00:34:59,831 --> 00:35:02,129 - You be quiet! - Piero, come back! 605 00:35:02,166 --> 00:35:05,158 The kiss is finished. You'll ruin her death scene. 606 00:35:05,203 --> 00:35:09,299 O happy dagger... 607 00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,901 this is my sheath. 608 00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:16,903 There rest... 609 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,280 and let me die! 610 00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:27,751 Move! You have to move. 611 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:29,259 That's so rude! 612 00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:30,760 The scene is over. 613 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:33,263 I want to go as soon as the curtain comes down. 614 00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:36,755 - Get out of my way! - A real banana. 615 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:38,393 I will challenge you to a duel! 616 00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:41,269 Get him to the banquet hall the minute this show is over. 617 00:35:41,305 --> 00:35:43,603 Right. Ma, wait in the car. 618 00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:45,108 We want to extricate him unbeknownst. 619 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,634 I knew it. He was stiff from her! 620 00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:50,371 Come on. 621 00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:53,276 Some shall be pardoned. 622 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:55,649 Others shall be punished. 623 00:35:55,686 --> 00:36:00,282 For never was a story of more woe... 624 00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:05,159 than this of Juliet and her Romeo. 625 00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:13,229 Come on, Rosario. You got to come with us. 626 00:36:13,271 --> 00:36:16,240 Get out of here! Jesus, Ma! 627 00:36:16,274 --> 00:36:17,741 Sadie, come on! 628 00:36:17,775 --> 00:36:19,640 Ma, get off the stage! 629 00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:24,240 I was so disgusted over how you kissed that boy. 630 00:36:24,282 --> 00:36:25,749 It was pornografia! 631 00:36:25,783 --> 00:36:29,241 All right. Tonight we go home, sleep the night good. 632 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:31,755 Tomorrow you are in Paris, we forget about everything. 633 00:36:31,789 --> 00:36:33,757 No, Papa. The banquet! 634 00:36:33,791 --> 00:36:35,088 The whole cast is going! 635 00:36:35,126 --> 00:36:38,254 I will not set foot in that Cappamezza catering hall! 636 00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:39,763 And neither should you! 637 00:36:39,797 --> 00:36:41,765 And that is final! 638 00:36:41,799 --> 00:36:43,767 Magnificent performance, Gina. 639 00:36:43,801 --> 00:36:45,769 See you at the banquet? 640 00:36:45,803 --> 00:36:47,771 No, Monsignore, she cannot come... 641 00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:50,273 because tomorrow she get up early, go to airport. 642 00:36:50,308 --> 00:36:55,268 I understand, but I want to thank her and you two publicly. 643 00:36:55,313 --> 00:36:58,282 You just come for that? 644 00:36:58,316 --> 00:37:00,307 We... 645 00:37:44,228 --> 00:37:45,991 I didn't fall asleep once... 646 00:37:46,030 --> 00:37:48,931 except during the parts where people were just talking. 647 00:37:48,966 --> 00:37:51,526 But in the swordplay... 648 00:37:51,569 --> 00:37:53,764 and the smooching... terrific. 649 00:37:53,804 --> 00:37:55,601 What about my Francis? 650 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,767 He was great. I believed he was her nurse... 651 00:37:57,808 --> 00:37:59,867 and he was very manly in the girl's clothes. 652 00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:01,935 You're ready for Broadway! 653 00:38:01,979 --> 00:38:05,278 And, Tony, you was great as Rosario's uncle. 654 00:38:05,316 --> 00:38:08,217 I wasn't his uncle. I was his cousin. 655 00:38:08,252 --> 00:38:09,549 Well, whoever you were... 656 00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,953 you all made the evening very bearable. 657 00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:23,632 Papa, I'd like to say hello to the cast. 658 00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:26,728 You say hello to the girls. Only to the girls, eh? 659 00:38:26,771 --> 00:38:28,864 Hello and good-bye. 660 00:38:37,515 --> 00:38:41,611 Next year, we're doing Ju//us and Caesar. 661 00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:43,415 I'm playing Mrs. Caesar. 662 00:38:43,454 --> 00:38:45,922 You ever see the smoke in this way? 663 00:38:45,956 --> 00:38:48,186 - So ridiculous, eh? - It's obscene. 664 00:38:48,225 --> 00:38:50,955 What they are trying to do, re-create forest fire? 665 00:38:51,962 --> 00:38:53,759 Look at them. 666 00:38:53,798 --> 00:38:56,926 They are green with envy from our decor. 667 00:38:56,967 --> 00:38:59,060 When they taste our food, they're going to wish... 668 00:38:59,103 --> 00:39:02,266 they were in another business altogether. 669 00:39:02,306 --> 00:39:04,274 I don't see the daughter. 670 00:39:04,308 --> 00:39:07,300 She's over there with the girls. 671 00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:10,542 You two were so sexy up there. 672 00:39:10,581 --> 00:39:11,980 I thought I was watching... 673 00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:13,711 Mel Gibson and Michelle Pfeiffer. 674 00:39:13,751 --> 00:39:15,878 Where did you learn to kiss like that... 675 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,182 boarding school? 676 00:39:17,221 --> 00:39:19,712 I asked my parents to send me. 677 00:39:19,757 --> 00:39:21,224 They were afraid I'd lose my cherry. 678 00:39:21,258 --> 00:39:22,555 They don't know this... 679 00:39:22,593 --> 00:39:26,222 but I lost it to a Guido when I was 14. 680 00:39:26,263 --> 00:39:28,390 I been to the Capri Motel. 681 00:39:28,432 --> 00:39:30,923 What is a Capri Motel? 682 00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:34,631 The horniest place on City Island. 683 00:39:34,672 --> 00:39:37,232 It's got waterbeds shaped like the back seat of a car... 684 00:39:37,274 --> 00:39:40,539 and porno movies in every room. 685 00:39:40,578 --> 00:39:42,569 I lost mine there, too. 686 00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:44,740 I ain't been a virgin almost a month. 687 00:39:44,782 --> 00:39:48,274 And we know who Mr. Lucky is. 688 00:39:58,262 --> 00:39:59,422 What? 689 00:39:59,463 --> 00:40:01,761 We're all victims of peer pressure. 690 00:40:01,799 --> 00:40:02,993 What about you? 691 00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:05,934 My parents are very strict. 692 00:40:11,642 --> 00:40:13,303 Wait here. 693 00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:20,277 I'd like to call up Mike and Sadie Cappamezza... 694 00:40:20,317 --> 00:40:24,811 and Count and Contessa Malacici. 695 00:40:28,325 --> 00:40:31,624 Which just shows... 696 00:40:31,662 --> 00:40:33,459 You want to dance, Rosario? 697 00:40:33,497 --> 00:40:34,964 Hey! 698 00:40:34,999 --> 00:40:39,163 ...can turn business rivals into good friends. 699 00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:45,839 One and two and three. 700 00:40:47,511 --> 00:40:48,978 What is that? 701 00:40:49,013 --> 00:40:50,742 What is this? How goes it? 702 00:40:55,352 --> 00:40:56,785 Bring Regina. 703 00:40:56,821 --> 00:40:58,880 Hello, Mr. Frederico, Mrs. F. 704 00:40:58,923 --> 00:41:02,450 Piero... wait. Look. 705 00:41:04,895 --> 00:41:06,658 The Fredericos. 706 00:41:06,697 --> 00:41:08,961 We must not go without to talk to them. 707 00:41:08,999 --> 00:41:11,263 We must cater their daughter's wedding. 708 00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:15,967 How are you? 709 00:41:16,006 --> 00:41:17,598 Your daughter Carmella... 710 00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:20,769 recite the line of Lady Capulet with such artistry. 711 00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:24,269 And she reeks of intelligence. 712 00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:27,284 And that is why she deserve the grand wedding... 713 00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:28,785 we have prepared for her. 714 00:41:28,819 --> 00:41:31,083 Every guest will have... 715 00:41:31,121 --> 00:41:33,146 roast goose or bistecca Chateaubriand. 716 00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:34,782 And vanilla tartufi. 717 00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:37,293 And amaretto creme brulee with the wedding cake. 718 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:39,387 What about the smoke? 719 00:41:39,430 --> 00:41:41,455 Oh, yes. Every man smoke big cigar. 720 00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:43,797 No, no, no. We like the smoke effect. 721 00:41:43,834 --> 00:41:47,600 Smoke effect. 722 00:41:47,638 --> 00:41:51,301 We love smoke effect... 723 00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,810 but our smoke will be finer... 724 00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:57,302 not only to the ankle, but all the way to the calf. 725 00:41:57,348 --> 00:42:00,442 Yes, and softer, like in a Fellini movie. 726 00:42:00,484 --> 00:42:03,351 The sneaks are trying to steal the Fredericos! 727 00:42:04,588 --> 00:42:07,318 What do you say, Ralph? How are you doing, Angie? 728 00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:10,589 Hi. How are youse? 729 00:42:10,628 --> 00:42:13,791 They're not looking. Now! 730 00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:25,875 For Carmella's wedding, as souvenirs... 731 00:42:25,910 --> 00:42:29,107 we take a picture of you two from your wedding... 732 00:42:29,146 --> 00:42:31,910 and we print it on the front of each coffee cup. 733 00:42:31,949 --> 00:42:33,610 And engraved on the inside... 734 00:42:33,651 --> 00:42:37,382 a pink rose entwined with a silver ribbon, that says... 735 00:42:37,421 --> 00:42:41,289 "Carmella loves Tony and vice versa... 736 00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:45,125 "Compliments, Angie and Ralph Frederico." 737 00:42:45,162 --> 00:42:48,393 I've never seen that before at a wedding. 738 00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:52,391 I am sure they do it in Coney Island. 739 00:42:52,436 --> 00:42:55,928 They make a good-looking couple even off the stage. 740 00:42:55,973 --> 00:42:59,306 - Who? - Your daughter and your son. 741 00:43:00,945 --> 00:43:03,311 Now I know why the Malacicis... 742 00:43:03,347 --> 00:43:06,805 and the Cappamezzas get along so well. 743 00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:08,647 They're making a match. 744 00:43:08,686 --> 00:43:11,246 No! She's only 16! 745 00:43:11,288 --> 00:43:12,915 He just got his driver's license. 746 00:43:12,957 --> 00:43:14,652 They have only the Shakespeare in common. 747 00:43:14,692 --> 00:43:17,252 She's rushing off for culture to Paris for the ballet... 748 00:43:17,294 --> 00:43:21,060 and he's pursuing his intellect taking Geometry II this summer. 749 00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:22,895 He's practically a juvenile delinquent. 750 00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:27,768 The other Romeo did not come close to you. 751 00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:31,263 Did you kiss him like you kissed me? 752 00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:34,300 I never kiss anyone like I kiss you. 753 00:43:42,319 --> 00:43:46,779 I take it they don't like me for you. 754 00:43:46,824 --> 00:43:49,292 They don't like anyone for me... 755 00:43:49,326 --> 00:43:51,317 but you in particular. 756 00:43:51,362 --> 00:43:53,796 Why? Because the folks are rivals? 757 00:43:53,831 --> 00:43:59,292 No. Because you are dangerous and sexy. 758 00:43:59,336 --> 00:44:01,702 Easy, easy. 759 00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:04,537 Sadie will design candy-covered almonds... 760 00:44:04,575 --> 00:44:07,373 wrapped in lace with a bow... 761 00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:12,212 a plastic bird, a feather, and a simulated zircon ring. 762 00:44:12,249 --> 00:44:14,274 The Malacicis say they can do... 763 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:16,980 a soft Fellini smoke up to the knees. 764 00:44:17,021 --> 00:44:20,752 We can do bright "Terminator 2" smoke up to the chin! 765 00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:22,258 Watch this! 766 00:44:22,292 --> 00:44:25,284 With a double Technicolor Walt Disney rainbow. 767 00:44:36,373 --> 00:44:38,204 Oh, my. 768 00:44:39,476 --> 00:44:42,775 Turn it down! It's way too high, Mikey! 769 00:44:42,813 --> 00:44:44,280 I can't. It's stuck! 770 00:44:44,314 --> 00:44:47,772 - Do something! - I got to get a wrench. 771 00:44:49,753 --> 00:44:51,277 Where are they? 772 00:44:51,321 --> 00:44:54,119 Where are the children? 773 00:44:54,158 --> 00:44:57,286 The children. Oh, boy. 774 00:44:57,327 --> 00:44:58,794 Did I do this? 775 00:44:58,829 --> 00:45:00,797 Did I make the rainbow too romantic? 776 00:45:00,831 --> 00:45:02,799 You both do! You make a camouflage! 777 00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:04,130 It's your fault! 778 00:45:04,168 --> 00:45:06,295 Stealing the Fredericos, forcing us to show off! 779 00:45:06,336 --> 00:45:11,069 Wait a minute! Where are the Fredericos? 780 00:45:14,178 --> 00:45:18,774 This is exactly what I want, only more purple. 781 00:45:26,790 --> 00:45:29,691 Is this where all the boys take the girls? 782 00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,662 Yeah. 783 00:45:32,696 --> 00:45:35,756 Have you ever taken anyone else here? 784 00:45:35,799 --> 00:45:37,562 Yeah. 785 00:45:39,636 --> 00:45:41,797 My mother, when we needed to talk... 786 00:45:41,839 --> 00:45:43,500 and once my grandma. 787 00:45:46,677 --> 00:45:49,441 You don't have a girlfriend? 788 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,845 No. 789 00:45:52,850 --> 00:45:54,715 How come? 790 00:45:57,354 --> 00:46:01,984 After saying all those Shakespearean lines to you... 791 00:46:02,025 --> 00:46:05,961 it's kind of hard to come up with the right words, but... 792 00:46:07,364 --> 00:46:12,267 I've been waiting for the moon... 793 00:46:12,302 --> 00:46:16,762 to send down a goddess from the heavens. 794 00:46:16,807 --> 00:46:21,744 And then it must have done it because... 795 00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,770 she's come. 796 00:46:47,571 --> 00:46:50,734 I've waited my whole life for you. 797 00:46:50,774 --> 00:46:54,175 - Oh, no! - Wait, wait, wait! 798 00:46:54,211 --> 00:46:55,803 Don't be scared. 799 00:46:55,846 --> 00:46:57,837 We'll only do what you want to do. 800 00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:06,816 Gina! Gina! 801 00:47:06,857 --> 00:47:08,916 Where are you going? 802 00:47:08,959 --> 00:47:11,553 What? What did I do? 803 00:47:11,595 --> 00:47:15,224 I'm crazy in love with you! 804 00:47:15,265 --> 00:47:17,733 I never wanted to be a ballerina. 805 00:47:17,768 --> 00:47:20,259 Mother and Father both gave up studying... 806 00:47:20,304 --> 00:47:22,272 for the opera when they got married... 807 00:47:22,306 --> 00:47:26,504 and I thought that their dream for me was mine, too. 808 00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:31,480 Mother wants to keep me away from men... 809 00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:33,779 until I am famous... 810 00:47:33,817 --> 00:47:38,777 and Father wants me to marry only royalty... 811 00:47:38,822 --> 00:47:40,915 that has not gone broke, like we did in Firenze. 812 00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:46,828 My parents named the business "Prince Rosario" after me. 813 00:47:48,332 --> 00:47:51,130 Your parents were right. 814 00:47:51,168 --> 00:47:52,999 You are a prince. 815 00:47:59,076 --> 00:48:01,476 I'm not going away. 816 00:48:01,511 --> 00:48:04,844 Yeah. You got a right to think for yourself. 817 00:48:06,350 --> 00:48:07,749 Yes. 818 00:48:10,087 --> 00:48:11,315 Let's go tell them. 819 00:48:11,355 --> 00:48:13,755 Who? You and me? 820 00:48:13,790 --> 00:48:17,248 You won't let them intimidate me, will you? 821 00:48:17,294 --> 00:48:19,353 Absolutely not. 822 00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:21,762 I'm used to dealing with crazy people. 823 00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:23,766 My grandmother is a complete fruitcake. 824 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,792 You let me do the talking to your parents, OK? 825 00:48:28,171 --> 00:48:30,662 If we knew where they was, wouldn't we tell you? 826 00:48:30,707 --> 00:48:32,675 If your son dishonor our daughter... 827 00:48:32,709 --> 00:48:34,176 I will hold you responsible! 828 00:48:34,211 --> 00:48:36,406 Our daughter is an angel of regal bearing... 829 00:48:36,446 --> 00:48:38,437 a treasure, a princess from a fairy tale... 830 00:48:38,482 --> 00:48:40,040 who walk in purity! 831 00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:42,278 And what's our son... a big bag of shit? 832 00:48:42,319 --> 00:48:45,288 Mike! Please don't use the "s" word. 833 00:48:45,322 --> 00:48:49,281 Our son is a gentleman, and he's an altar boy. 834 00:48:49,326 --> 00:48:52,022 He's a lover of all mothers. 835 00:48:52,062 --> 00:48:55,395 I will call the police! I will call the FBI! 836 00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:01,537 They have just drive up in the car! 837 00:49:03,173 --> 00:49:06,802 See? Nothing from nothing. 838 00:49:06,843 --> 00:49:08,811 Let's go to bed. 839 00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:21,114 What will you say to him? 840 00:49:21,158 --> 00:49:23,456 I'll tell him, "Hey, forget about Paris. 841 00:49:23,493 --> 00:49:25,757 "She's with me. Get it?" 842 00:49:25,796 --> 00:49:27,263 How's that? 843 00:49:27,297 --> 00:49:31,028 Let's get out of here! My father will kill you! 844 00:49:32,769 --> 00:49:37,763 She's just a baby, pussy wussy pussycat! 845 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:41,107 She's a little baby calico cat. 846 00:49:41,144 --> 00:49:43,169 She's a little kissable cat. 847 00:49:43,213 --> 00:49:45,443 She's a little... 848 00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:48,645 Hey, Mikey. 849 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,754 Get the hell out of here. 850 00:49:56,827 --> 00:50:00,388 Oh, yes! Thank you, Blessed Roscoe. 851 00:50:00,430 --> 00:50:01,727 - What's that? - Nothing. 852 00:50:01,765 --> 00:50:04,063 - Keep doing what you're doing. - You got it. 853 00:50:06,336 --> 00:50:09,328 Hello. Yes. 854 00:50:12,342 --> 00:50:13,809 The kids, they left. 855 00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:15,812 We got to find out where they are. 856 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,814 I'm not feeling so good. 857 00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,782 I'm a little nauseous. Get me a cup of mint tea. 858 00:50:19,816 --> 00:50:21,374 Hello. 859 00:50:21,418 --> 00:50:23,318 Mona, could you please do me a favor... 860 00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:26,322 and ask the Blessed Roscoe if he knows where the kids are? 861 00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:27,618 Hold on a second. 862 00:50:27,657 --> 00:50:33,061 The Blessed Roscoe sees their expectation to consummate. 863 00:50:33,096 --> 00:50:35,860 Oh, boy! Does he know where? 864 00:50:35,899 --> 00:50:42,270 He sees water, a bed, the letter "C." 865 00:50:42,305 --> 00:50:44,671 - Uh-huh. - That's it. I got to go. 866 00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:48,371 Three people have asked me to try and make rain. 867 00:50:52,382 --> 00:50:54,850 Water, a bed, the letter "C." 868 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,512 The letter "C." 869 00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:59,852 Mike, we got to get to the Capri Motel... 870 00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:04,054 before they consummate in a waterbed! 871 00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:06,358 How do you know they're there? 872 00:51:06,396 --> 00:51:08,387 Because it all adds up. 873 00:51:25,348 --> 00:51:28,681 My parents are great in a crisis. 874 00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:33,481 Wait right here. I'll be right back. 875 00:51:33,523 --> 00:51:37,983 Ma! Pop! I need you for some advice, huh? 876 00:51:38,028 --> 00:51:39,518 Ma! 877 00:51:44,367 --> 00:51:48,326 The only one home is my grandma, and she's sleeping. 878 00:51:48,371 --> 00:51:51,340 You will not ever leave me, will you? 879 00:51:51,374 --> 00:51:52,841 No. 880 00:51:52,876 --> 00:51:54,844 No, no. I love you. 881 00:51:54,878 --> 00:51:59,008 From the tip of my heart to the depth of my soul... 882 00:51:59,049 --> 00:52:01,847 I love you. 883 00:52:01,885 --> 00:52:04,353 I'd like to see your room. 884 00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:06,548 Well, it's real messy. 885 00:52:21,872 --> 00:52:24,272 Be tender with me. I'm a virgin. 886 00:52:24,307 --> 00:52:25,831 Ditto. 887 00:52:35,185 --> 00:52:37,653 - I don't see his car. - Good. 888 00:52:37,687 --> 00:52:40,121 We're going to save them from ruining their lives. 889 00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:41,818 Oh, Romeo! 890 00:52:41,858 --> 00:52:45,817 Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? 891 00:52:45,862 --> 00:52:49,354 The moon, Juliet. I'm on the moon! 892 00:53:06,149 --> 00:53:08,845 Oh, my God! I don't believe it. 893 00:53:08,885 --> 00:53:12,013 - Is it them? - No. 894 00:53:12,055 --> 00:53:15,991 It's Dr. Rondino and Miss DeLuca. 895 00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:37,312 What does this mean? 896 00:53:37,347 --> 00:53:39,907 It means up, down, up, down. 897 00:53:42,252 --> 00:53:44,982 They ain't coming here. Let's go home. 898 00:53:45,021 --> 00:53:47,148 Water... 899 00:53:47,190 --> 00:53:49,852 bed, and the letter "C." 900 00:54:04,774 --> 00:54:08,835 Water, bed, the letter "C"! 901 00:54:08,878 --> 00:54:11,779 "C" for Cappamezza on the water! 902 00:54:11,815 --> 00:54:15,649 Mikey, they're in our house on our water! 903 00:54:15,685 --> 00:54:17,778 You go look. I can't look. 904 00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:20,119 All right. I'll go look. 905 00:54:20,156 --> 00:54:24,320 I'm going to go look. I left the candles burning. 906 00:54:26,329 --> 00:54:29,787 Rosario! Rosario! 907 00:54:29,833 --> 00:54:31,926 Who is it? 908 00:54:31,968 --> 00:54:34,232 It's your mother and dad. 909 00:54:34,271 --> 00:54:38,367 I'm sleeping. I'll talk to you in the morning. 910 00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:39,705 Get dressed and get in the closet. 911 00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:41,005 Where's my underpants? 912 00:54:41,044 --> 00:54:42,807 Here. Where's my bra? 913 00:54:42,846 --> 00:54:45,076 Here's your bra, and here's your panties. 914 00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:48,312 I know you're in there with the girl. 915 00:54:48,351 --> 00:54:50,478 What makes you think that? 916 00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:55,856 I can sense it with my mother's intuition. 917 00:55:05,935 --> 00:55:08,836 There. He took her home, and he was sleeping. 918 00:55:08,872 --> 00:55:11,067 Go back to bed, Rosario. Come on. 919 00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:18,770 I feel bad I didn't trust him. 920 00:55:18,815 --> 00:55:21,443 I'm going to go back and apologize. 921 00:55:21,484 --> 00:55:23,952 Rosario, please forgive... 922 00:55:39,803 --> 00:55:41,794 We love each other very deeply. 923 00:55:41,838 --> 00:55:44,807 She's through living a lie to make her parents happy. 924 00:55:44,841 --> 00:55:47,810 And that is why we slept together. 925 00:55:47,844 --> 00:55:51,473 You slept together? 926 00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:54,312 You didn't have sex, did you? 927 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:56,581 No. They were bobbing for apples. 928 00:55:56,619 --> 00:55:59,349 Oh, not Rosario. 929 00:55:59,389 --> 00:56:01,914 This girl, she's Juliet. 930 00:56:01,958 --> 00:56:05,621 I did this. I left the candles burning. 931 00:56:05,662 --> 00:56:08,130 I misread the Blessed Roscoe's... 932 00:56:08,164 --> 00:56:09,631 All right. All right. 933 00:56:09,666 --> 00:56:12,134 Look, girlie... 934 00:56:12,168 --> 00:56:14,796 we're adults, my wife and me. 935 00:56:14,838 --> 00:56:19,673 You had a bisensual rendezvous for two with my son... 936 00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:22,371 and you should wallow in it tomorrow on the plane. 937 00:56:22,412 --> 00:56:24,403 What my husband is trying to say is... 938 00:56:24,447 --> 00:56:28,907 just cherish the bliss you had with Rosario in ballet school... 939 00:56:28,952 --> 00:56:32,513 and then maybe in six or seven years... 940 00:56:32,555 --> 00:56:35,149 No. I do not want to go to Paris. 941 00:56:35,191 --> 00:56:37,659 Yeah! And if she goes, I go, too. 942 00:56:37,694 --> 00:56:40,162 What? You got to graduate high school... 943 00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:42,664 to go to college, And what about this summer? 944 00:56:42,699 --> 00:56:46,499 You and me were going to cure pepperoni together. 945 00:56:46,536 --> 00:56:47,901 Are you trying to tell us... 946 00:56:47,937 --> 00:56:50,667 that you would give up everything for this girl? 947 00:56:50,707 --> 00:56:53,175 Ma, do you want me to be happy and live... 948 00:56:53,209 --> 00:56:55,234 or miserable and die? 949 00:56:55,278 --> 00:56:57,746 These are my only choices? 950 00:56:57,781 --> 00:56:59,874 Yeah. 951 00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:03,374 Excuse me a minute, please. 952 00:57:03,453 --> 00:57:06,388 Sadie, I can't talk now. I got another client here. 953 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:08,482 This is an emergency! 954 00:57:08,525 --> 00:57:10,493 So is this. Talk quick. 955 00:57:10,527 --> 00:57:14,156 Me and the Blessed Roscoe have got our hands full. 956 00:57:16,166 --> 00:57:21,604 For seven years... sneaking around in cheap motels... 957 00:57:21,638 --> 00:57:25,938 in forbidden bliss on damp mattresses. 958 00:57:25,975 --> 00:57:30,344 Rosario says he doesn't want to live without this girl. 959 00:57:30,380 --> 00:57:35,215 Why me? Why me? 960 00:57:35,251 --> 00:57:36,878 What am I going to do? 961 00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:39,252 The Blessed Roscoe is poking me. 962 00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:41,621 He says we'll marry when his mother dies. 963 00:57:41,658 --> 00:57:44,456 Could you hold it down for a second, sweetheart? 964 00:57:44,494 --> 00:57:46,121 I'm trying to commune here. 965 00:57:46,162 --> 00:57:51,099 The woman is 94! I may die before her. 966 00:57:54,737 --> 00:57:57,604 The Blessed Roscoe says love is not enough. 967 00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,541 I thought he said love is all there is. 968 00:58:00,577 --> 00:58:03,569 Love is all there is... 969 00:58:03,613 --> 00:58:06,776 but it's also not enough. 970 00:58:06,816 --> 00:58:08,306 What does that mean? 971 00:58:08,351 --> 00:58:11,184 I don't know, Sadie. Figure it out. 972 00:58:11,221 --> 00:58:13,712 His old mother suffers so. 973 00:58:13,756 --> 00:58:18,591 Do you think you might have some humane herbs... 974 00:58:18,628 --> 00:58:21,324 to help her to Heaven? 975 00:58:21,364 --> 00:58:25,926 The Blessed Roscoe and me are healers, not hit men. 976 00:58:25,969 --> 00:58:29,097 Love is all there is. 977 00:58:29,138 --> 00:58:32,266 Love is not enough. 978 00:58:32,308 --> 00:58:36,244 Open this door. I want to speak to your son. 979 00:58:36,279 --> 00:58:40,113 We demand to know where our daughter is. 980 00:58:40,149 --> 00:58:42,276 Wait here. 981 00:58:42,318 --> 00:58:44,616 Open this door. 982 00:58:44,654 --> 00:58:46,485 My son ain't here. 983 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,115 The car is in front. We know he is in there. 984 00:58:48,157 --> 00:58:49,624 Quick, hide her. 985 00:58:49,659 --> 00:58:53,117 No. It is time they found out who I really am... 986 00:58:53,162 --> 00:58:56,131 and who made me true to myself. 987 00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:59,100 We will tell them, right, Rosario? 988 00:59:01,104 --> 00:59:04,073 Alack, there lies more peril in thine eyes, Juliet... 989 00:59:04,107 --> 00:59:07,133 than 20 of their swords. 990 00:59:07,176 --> 00:59:11,613 Don't be a sucker, Rosario. Play dumb. 991 00:59:18,721 --> 00:59:23,158 Regina, what are you doing here? 992 00:59:23,192 --> 00:59:25,592 We have something we want you to know... 993 00:59:25,628 --> 00:59:27,596 something very important. 994 00:59:27,630 --> 00:59:29,120 Tell them. 995 00:59:30,633 --> 00:59:32,260 Who, me? 996 00:59:34,337 --> 00:59:39,468 Please, come in. Join us in our parlor... 997 00:59:39,509 --> 00:59:41,807 and we'll have a little t�te-�-t�te talk. 998 01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:04,066 May I offer you a banana? 999 01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:06,694 How about a gummy bear? 1000 01:00:06,736 --> 01:00:08,067 We don't want banana, gummy bear. 1001 01:00:08,104 --> 01:00:12,700 We want to know the A, B, C, and the D! 1002 01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:16,576 Did you ever see the episode of "As The World Turns"... 1003 01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:22,074 where Emily tells Barbara that she and Gavin had... 1004 01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:24,609 a mystical odyssey on the beach? 1005 01:00:24,654 --> 01:00:27,054 Or maybe you read in the "National Enquirer"... 1006 01:00:27,090 --> 01:00:29,081 about Cher and her latest guitarist... 1007 01:00:29,125 --> 01:00:31,218 being caught on a motorcycle. 1008 01:00:32,996 --> 01:00:38,229 Well, Rosario and Gina... 1009 01:00:38,267 --> 01:00:39,859 unthinkingly, while we were out... 1010 01:00:39,902 --> 01:00:46,398 they were swept away in our house. 1011 01:00:48,811 --> 01:00:50,369 What? 1012 01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:54,639 What is she talking about? 1013 01:00:56,586 --> 01:00:59,077 They... 1014 01:01:00,590 --> 01:01:04,549 They had coitus that... 1015 01:01:04,594 --> 01:01:07,290 wasn't interruptus. 1016 01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:10,390 And now she don't want to go to Paris no more... 1017 01:01:10,433 --> 01:01:13,664 or be a ballet dancer anymore. 1018 01:01:16,606 --> 01:01:18,631 Have you lost your mind? 1019 01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:21,610 You throw away your life for this? 1020 01:01:21,644 --> 01:01:23,236 You're getting on that plane... 1021 01:01:23,279 --> 01:01:25,247 if I have to drag you by the hair! 1022 01:01:25,281 --> 01:01:26,908 You're making Gina cry. 1023 01:01:26,949 --> 01:01:29,577 She wants to be with me. 1024 01:01:29,619 --> 01:01:31,917 Is that such a bad thing? 1025 01:01:33,656 --> 01:01:37,592 - I'm going to kill you! - Papa, I love him! 1026 01:01:37,627 --> 01:01:40,027 Let go of him! Hey! 1027 01:01:40,063 --> 01:01:42,031 Get back in that chair! 1028 01:01:42,065 --> 01:01:43,623 You want to scream and yell like your wife... 1029 01:01:43,666 --> 01:01:45,133 you got every right... 1030 01:01:45,168 --> 01:01:47,227 but you choke my son again, I'll throw you in the bay! 1031 01:01:47,270 --> 01:01:48,737 I can take care of myself, Pop. 1032 01:01:48,771 --> 01:01:52,537 Shut up and sit down before I choke you myself! 1033 01:01:54,243 --> 01:01:56,541 He ruin her. He ruin my daughter. 1034 01:01:56,579 --> 01:01:57,978 He ruin everybody. 1035 01:02:00,083 --> 01:02:03,985 He did not ruin anybody! 1036 01:02:04,020 --> 01:02:05,248 He made me happy! 1037 01:02:05,288 --> 01:02:07,654 She's my dream come true. 1038 01:02:07,690 --> 01:02:10,022 You shut up. I get my gun, I shoot you! 1039 01:02:10,059 --> 01:02:12,118 You ain't shooting anybody, Count Dracula! 1040 01:02:12,161 --> 01:02:14,129 I am Count Dracula? 1041 01:02:14,163 --> 01:02:16,654 This whole family is Frankenstein! 1042 01:02:16,699 --> 01:02:19,566 Please, let's not turn this into a tragedy! 1043 01:02:19,602 --> 01:02:23,265 It's a comedy because they love each other. 1044 01:02:23,306 --> 01:02:26,104 And, look, I'm laughing. 1045 01:02:29,445 --> 01:02:32,141 Come on. You laugh, too. 1046 01:02:32,181 --> 01:02:34,115 Everybody laugh. 1047 01:02:40,223 --> 01:02:43,090 Don't you ever set foot in my house again! 1048 01:02:43,126 --> 01:02:45,594 She don't mean you're a putana. 1049 01:02:45,628 --> 01:02:50,258 I do! I do! And you'll get nothing! 1050 01:02:50,299 --> 01:02:55,362 You'll go from this world the way you came... with nothing! 1051 01:02:56,739 --> 01:02:59,401 Please. Don't reject her. 1052 01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:01,410 I left the candles burning... 1053 01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:03,844 and now they love each other... 1054 01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,438 and love is all there is. 1055 01:03:05,481 --> 01:03:07,073 You shut up! 1056 01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:09,141 I knew this was all your fault! 1057 01:03:09,185 --> 01:03:11,176 Candles! Voodoo! 1058 01:03:11,220 --> 01:03:13,051 God is going to punish you! 1059 01:03:13,089 --> 01:03:16,058 It is not voodoo! It's love charms! 1060 01:03:16,092 --> 01:03:18,083 You're a witch! A witch! 1061 01:03:21,330 --> 01:03:23,059 You call me a witch? 1062 01:03:23,099 --> 01:03:25,067 Know what? I have lost my patience with you! 1063 01:03:25,101 --> 01:03:26,898 Just get out of my house! 1064 01:03:26,936 --> 01:03:29,905 I will never forgive you for this! 1065 01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:32,737 You'll hate yourself for giving up the ballet! 1066 01:03:32,775 --> 01:03:35,938 I was only doing it for you. 1067 01:03:35,978 --> 01:03:41,109 I don't want you to give up your talent for love like us. 1068 01:03:41,150 --> 01:03:45,416 That was your choice. This is mine. 1069 01:03:46,856 --> 01:03:48,084 What about Rosario? 1070 01:03:48,124 --> 01:03:50,592 He's going to give up everything for her. 1071 01:03:50,626 --> 01:03:52,116 That's right. 1072 01:03:52,161 --> 01:03:54,095 Everything? Rosario have nothing. 1073 01:03:54,130 --> 01:03:55,597 He don't have a job. 1074 01:03:55,631 --> 01:03:58,998 He don't even have a certificate of high school! 1075 01:03:59,035 --> 01:04:02,027 He's giving up his future, where he has everything... 1076 01:04:02,071 --> 01:04:04,130 his high-school certificate, fame, wealth! 1077 01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:06,368 Our business will be his someday! 1078 01:04:06,409 --> 01:04:09,867 Huh? You are broke. We check in the bank. 1079 01:04:09,912 --> 01:04:13,040 You owe $122,000... 1080 01:04:13,082 --> 01:04:15,915 and now everybody in the whole neighborhood know... 1081 01:04:15,952 --> 01:04:18,819 that you are nothing but a low-class Joe Blow! 1082 01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:22,052 How dare you call us a low-class Joe Blow? 1083 01:04:22,091 --> 01:04:25,060 We are just as pretentious as you will ever be! 1084 01:04:25,094 --> 01:04:27,289 And maybe the whole neighborhood should know... 1085 01:04:27,330 --> 01:04:29,059 that you tried to sell your title in Italy... 1086 01:04:29,098 --> 01:04:31,658 and nobody would buy it! We looked it up! 1087 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:34,067 Son of a bitch! 1088 01:04:34,103 --> 01:04:36,435 I will throw you and your wife in the bay! 1089 01:04:36,472 --> 01:04:38,030 Yeah? Come on! Try it! 1090 01:04:38,074 --> 01:04:41,237 - Don't stoop to their level. - I want to give him beating. 1091 01:04:41,277 --> 01:04:42,767 They have no breeding! 1092 01:04:42,812 --> 01:04:45,337 - We breed plenty! - Yeah! 1093 01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:47,349 But he deserves a beating. 1094 01:04:47,383 --> 01:04:51,080 I was champion of boxing in the University of Bologna. 1095 01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,281 I give him a beating he never forget. 1096 01:04:53,322 --> 01:04:56,052 You want a piece of me? Come up here! 1097 01:04:56,092 --> 01:04:57,821 Now you've... 1098 01:04:57,860 --> 01:04:59,327 Come in the house! 1099 01:04:59,362 --> 01:05:00,954 No! I want him! 1100 01:05:00,997 --> 01:05:02,897 Piero! 1101 01:05:02,932 --> 01:05:05,025 I'm gonna kill him! Let me at him! 1102 01:05:05,067 --> 01:05:06,534 I'm gonna kill him! 1103 01:05:06,569 --> 01:05:09,003 No, no. Leave them. 1104 01:05:09,038 --> 01:05:11,404 I'll strangle you! Let me get my hands on you! 1105 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:12,839 I am exhausted. 1106 01:05:12,875 --> 01:05:14,365 I'm gonna punch him right in the mouth! 1107 01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:16,378 You are stupid and you are nothing! 1108 01:05:16,412 --> 01:05:18,846 Let me at him! You chickenshit peckerhead! 1109 01:05:18,881 --> 01:05:20,940 You make me cup of coffee, no? 1110 01:05:21,951 --> 01:05:23,885 I hate them! 1111 01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,047 I wish they were not my parents! 1112 01:05:26,088 --> 01:05:29,057 That's like wishing your foot wasn't your foot... 1113 01:05:29,091 --> 01:05:31,559 just because it's got a bad fungus. 1114 01:05:31,594 --> 01:05:34,563 I can never go back to them! 1115 01:05:34,597 --> 01:05:37,065 Maybe they're just obnoxious temporarily, huh? 1116 01:05:37,099 --> 01:05:40,728 In the meantime, you'll be the daughter... 1117 01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:43,398 we always wanted. 1118 01:05:43,439 --> 01:05:45,407 I told you my parents were great. 1119 01:05:45,441 --> 01:05:49,571 Look, now that she's under our sexual auspices... 1120 01:05:49,612 --> 01:05:52,581 your behavior has got to be... 1121 01:05:52,615 --> 01:05:56,244 according to the rules of Queen Victoria. 1122 01:05:56,285 --> 01:05:58,219 You know what I mean? 1123 01:05:58,254 --> 01:05:59,778 Kosher. 1124 01:06:01,624 --> 01:06:04,092 Here's one of Grandma's bathrobes. 1125 01:06:04,126 --> 01:06:06,594 And you're going to sleep inside there... 1126 01:06:06,629 --> 01:06:08,790 with Grandma in her bed. 1127 01:06:08,831 --> 01:06:11,823 You see, sex is a gift from God... 1128 01:06:11,867 --> 01:06:15,359 and you two have chosen to share that gift... 1129 01:06:15,404 --> 01:06:17,599 but now we're going to take that gift... 1130 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,608 we're going to put it back in the box... 1131 01:06:19,642 --> 01:06:21,610 and under the tree, OK? 1132 01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:26,308 Because Mikey and I, we're responsible now. 1133 01:06:26,349 --> 01:06:29,682 I wish you were my mother, Mrs. Cappamezza. 1134 01:06:33,656 --> 01:06:35,123 Good night, Gina. 1135 01:06:35,157 --> 01:06:36,624 Good night. 1136 01:06:36,659 --> 01:06:38,627 Good night, honey. 1137 01:06:38,661 --> 01:06:40,128 Good night, Ma. 1138 01:06:40,162 --> 01:06:41,629 Good night. 1139 01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:43,632 Good night, Pop. 1140 01:06:43,666 --> 01:06:46,635 - She's such a sweet girl. - Yeah. 1141 01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:50,127 I think I handled it as if love is not enough. 1142 01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:52,140 Let's get back to what we was doing. 1143 01:06:52,174 --> 01:06:54,642 - What? - You know... whoopee. 1144 01:06:54,677 --> 01:06:57,908 - We got to stand guard. - What for? 1145 01:06:57,947 --> 01:07:00,916 We can't take a chance. They're too overstimulated. 1146 01:07:00,950 --> 01:07:02,349 And what am I? 1147 01:07:12,128 --> 01:07:13,618 Gina. 1148 01:07:15,131 --> 01:07:16,393 Gina! 1149 01:07:16,432 --> 01:07:18,263 Rosario? 1150 01:07:18,300 --> 01:07:21,133 What's the matter? I heard you crying. 1151 01:07:21,170 --> 01:07:24,071 I never talked back to my parents before. 1152 01:07:24,106 --> 01:07:26,267 We bring out the best in each other. 1153 01:07:28,144 --> 01:07:30,112 Will you always love me... 1154 01:07:30,146 --> 01:07:33,912 and choose me over the other woman? 1155 01:07:33,949 --> 01:07:36,543 - What other woman? - Your mother. 1156 01:07:36,585 --> 01:07:39,918 I'll never have to choose. I love you both. 1157 01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:41,479 And she loves you, too. You heard her. 1158 01:07:41,524 --> 01:07:45,688 Why did she say we should not sleep together? 1159 01:07:45,728 --> 01:07:48,424 I am not a putana. 1160 01:07:48,464 --> 01:07:50,864 Your mother said that, not mine! 1161 01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:52,367 You raise your voice to me? 1162 01:07:52,401 --> 01:07:53,766 - I did? - Yes! 1163 01:07:53,803 --> 01:07:55,065 I'm sorry. 1164 01:07:55,104 --> 01:07:57,334 I'm sorry I insult your mother. 1165 01:07:57,373 --> 01:08:00,137 Our first fight. 1166 01:08:00,176 --> 01:08:02,110 Yes. 1167 01:08:02,144 --> 01:08:05,045 It makes me hot. 1168 01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,878 Me, too. 1169 01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:23,094 I still got the potato gnocchi and the garbazel to cook. 1170 01:08:23,132 --> 01:08:25,100 The Fasuli-Baldilamente wedding is a killer. 1171 01:08:25,134 --> 01:08:26,601 Where the hell's Rosario? 1172 01:08:26,635 --> 01:08:28,796 5:00. He ain't up yet. 1173 01:08:28,838 --> 01:08:30,100 He's probably tired... 1174 01:08:30,139 --> 01:08:31,606 from talking to her through the window all night. 1175 01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:34,768 He's tired? I got practically no sleep... 1176 01:08:34,810 --> 01:08:36,277 and when I did sleep... 1177 01:08:36,312 --> 01:08:38,212 I dreamed about you and you know what. 1178 01:08:38,247 --> 01:08:40,078 Mike, come on. 1179 01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:43,984 We were on top of the small banquet table. 1180 01:08:44,019 --> 01:08:48,115 I had one foot on the ground, the other foot up in the air... 1181 01:08:48,157 --> 01:08:49,624 and with my other foot... 1182 01:08:49,658 --> 01:08:52,092 Oh, stop! 1183 01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:53,288 Good morning. 1184 01:08:53,329 --> 01:08:54,626 Good evening. 1185 01:08:54,663 --> 01:08:58,121 Go put the clams in the Fra Diavolo sauce. 1186 01:08:58,167 --> 01:09:00,567 It's too hard staying away from Gina... 1187 01:09:00,603 --> 01:09:02,070 and it's stupid. 1188 01:09:02,104 --> 01:09:03,366 We already had sex together. 1189 01:09:03,405 --> 01:09:06,397 Why should she sleep in Grandma's bed and not mine? 1190 01:09:06,442 --> 01:09:08,307 Because Grandma can't get her pregnant. 1191 01:09:08,344 --> 01:09:10,471 - You can't keep me from her. - Rosario. 1192 01:09:10,513 --> 01:09:14,813 Hey! Isabel Fasuli is here with her mother in a panic. 1193 01:09:14,850 --> 01:09:17,250 I'm caught in the zipper, Sadie! 1194 01:09:17,286 --> 01:09:20,084 Her gown split open at the church during the "I Dos." 1195 01:09:20,122 --> 01:09:24,081 She's been eating chocolates for two weeks around the clock. 1196 01:09:24,126 --> 01:09:26,788 I'm nervous, Ma, OK? 1197 01:09:26,829 --> 01:09:28,694 Give me that chocolate bar. Spit it in my hand. 1198 01:09:28,731 --> 01:09:31,097 This is what we're going to do, Adele. 1199 01:09:31,133 --> 01:09:33,601 I'll take this cabbage rose from the back... 1200 01:09:33,636 --> 01:09:36,537 and put it in the front... 1201 01:09:36,572 --> 01:09:39,564 then we're going to take this big cabbage rose... 1202 01:09:39,608 --> 01:09:42,600 and I'm going to put it in the back. 1203 01:09:42,645 --> 01:09:45,045 And nobody will know that she gained a few pounds. 1204 01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:47,207 How about twenty in two weeks? 1205 01:09:47,249 --> 01:09:49,809 Some of us gain weight because we feel... 1206 01:09:49,852 --> 01:09:53,185 that if we have everything, people will envy us. 1207 01:09:53,222 --> 01:09:55,452 Yeah, Ma. People envy me. 1208 01:09:55,491 --> 01:09:57,083 That's why I eat! 1209 01:09:58,594 --> 01:10:02,553 Go out and stun your guests and surprise your enemies. 1210 01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:05,431 Wait, Ma. I got to get my shoes. 1211 01:10:05,467 --> 01:10:07,367 Fidella, look out! 1212 01:10:07,403 --> 01:10:10,201 Watch what you're doing! You almost killed another cat. 1213 01:10:10,239 --> 01:10:12,070 Don't you dare eat another thing... 1214 01:10:12,107 --> 01:10:14,075 until you leave for your honeymoon. 1215 01:10:14,109 --> 01:10:17,078 This is the last fitting that I am putting Sadie through. 1216 01:10:17,112 --> 01:10:19,580 Mr. And Mrs. Cappamezza, I want you to know... 1217 01:10:19,615 --> 01:10:23,073 that Rosario just burned his finger in the kitchen. 1218 01:10:23,118 --> 01:10:28,078 I don't know what you said to him about me... 1219 01:10:28,123 --> 01:10:32,617 but you hurt him very, very deeply. 1220 01:10:46,141 --> 01:10:49,941 And now, for the first time as Mr. And Mrs. Baldilamente... 1221 01:10:49,979 --> 01:10:53,142 please welcome Isabel and Vinny! 1222 01:11:16,305 --> 01:11:19,638 Vinny, that looks beautiful. 1223 01:11:19,675 --> 01:11:22,075 That cake looks absolutely beautiful. 1224 01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:26,571 Ma, Pop! Everybody, listen up. I just made a big decision. 1225 01:11:26,615 --> 01:11:28,583 I want the whole world to know. 1226 01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:31,142 Gina, there's something I should have asked you... 1227 01:11:31,186 --> 01:11:32,744 from the moment I first saw you. 1228 01:11:32,788 --> 01:11:35,552 - What? - Will you marry me? 1229 01:11:44,933 --> 01:11:46,798 Now will you be my wife? 1230 01:11:46,835 --> 01:11:49,269 Oh, Rosario, yes, I will. 1231 01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:51,398 Congratulations! 1232 01:11:54,843 --> 01:11:58,006 Get back to work! Everybody, get back to work! 1233 01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:00,538 - Are you crazy? - I thought you'd be happy. 1234 01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:01,742 Happy? 1235 01:12:01,784 --> 01:12:03,684 We'd be happier if you were out of high school. 1236 01:12:03,719 --> 01:12:04,947 You're still babies! 1237 01:12:04,987 --> 01:12:07,455 Telephone, Gina Malacici. 1238 01:12:07,489 --> 01:12:10,219 My body's addicted to her. I got to get married. 1239 01:12:10,259 --> 01:12:11,556 You get married when your brain is mature... 1240 01:12:11,593 --> 01:12:13,151 not just your pubic parts! 1241 01:12:13,195 --> 01:12:14,822 - More pigs knuckles. - Coming up. 1242 01:12:14,863 --> 01:12:17,627 - No, you're too young. - Ma, please. 1243 01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:19,566 It's not legal. 1244 01:12:19,601 --> 01:12:21,569 It is legal with parents' approval. 1245 01:12:21,603 --> 01:12:23,298 Didn't we just say no? This is annoying! 1246 01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:25,807 My parents just gave their approval! 1247 01:12:25,841 --> 01:12:29,140 What? Last night they hated Rosario's guts... 1248 01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:30,805 and they threw you out into the snow. 1249 01:12:30,846 --> 01:12:34,782 They miss me, and they want me to be happy. 1250 01:12:34,817 --> 01:12:36,512 More fried octopus and zucchini sticks! 1251 01:12:36,552 --> 01:12:40,579 On the fire! It's very nice your parents miss you... 1252 01:12:40,622 --> 01:12:45,082 but if they gave their approval, they got a couple screws loose. 1253 01:12:45,127 --> 01:12:50,064 My parents happen to be highly cultured aristocrats! 1254 01:12:50,099 --> 01:12:53,557 They would never make a cake like that! 1255 01:12:53,602 --> 01:12:58,164 This cake happens to be our deluxe glamorama... 1256 01:12:58,207 --> 01:13:02,075 and nobody but us matches the little plastic dolls... 1257 01:13:02,111 --> 01:13:03,544 to the live wedding party. 1258 01:13:03,579 --> 01:13:08,039 In Italia, these strawberries with gold roses... 1259 01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:11,416 they would be a laughingstock! 1260 01:13:11,453 --> 01:13:14,547 Well, in these parts, they're the cat's ass. 1261 01:13:14,590 --> 01:13:17,058 - More scungilli marinara! - Ready to travel! 1262 01:13:17,092 --> 01:13:19,890 I think you miss your parents... 1263 01:13:19,928 --> 01:13:22,226 and that's why you're acting so nutsy. 1264 01:13:22,264 --> 01:13:26,291 I am just trying to teach you what's in bad taste. 1265 01:13:26,335 --> 01:13:28,462 More rice and pepperoni fritters! 1266 01:13:28,504 --> 01:13:30,062 Coming up! 1267 01:13:30,105 --> 01:13:32,369 If there's any one person... 1268 01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:33,568 who should be teaching somebody something... 1269 01:13:33,609 --> 01:13:35,076 it should be me! 1270 01:13:35,110 --> 01:13:39,342 I'll have you know I starred on "Wedding Dos and Don'ts"... 1271 01:13:39,381 --> 01:13:42,077 on the local City Island cable channel... 1272 01:13:42,117 --> 01:13:44,585 where I pointed out that bad taste... 1273 01:13:44,620 --> 01:13:48,283 was better than no taste at all. 1274 01:13:48,323 --> 01:13:49,984 Am I right, Rosario? 1275 01:13:50,025 --> 01:13:52,585 Apologize to Gina for calling her nutsy. 1276 01:13:52,628 --> 01:13:56,223 What? She just insulted me and your father. 1277 01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:58,825 It's true. Her parents' decorations are less gabon. 1278 01:13:58,867 --> 01:14:00,562 Who's a gabon? I'm a gabon? 1279 01:14:00,602 --> 01:14:02,194 More pigs knuckles! 1280 01:14:02,237 --> 01:14:05,900 What the hell are these people eating with, a shovel? 1281 01:14:05,941 --> 01:14:07,533 Mike, we got a problem. 1282 01:14:07,576 --> 01:14:09,544 I know. We're out of pigs knuckles. 1283 01:14:09,578 --> 01:14:11,546 How come I hear that the Malacicis... 1284 01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:13,548 offer my wife's brother Jackie... 1285 01:14:13,582 --> 01:14:17,143 the exact same deluxe wedding as Isabel for 50% less? 1286 01:14:17,186 --> 01:14:20,349 They're undercutting. They lose money at that price. 1287 01:14:20,389 --> 01:14:22,220 The Malacicis may use our menu... 1288 01:14:22,257 --> 01:14:24,054 but their portions are so refined... 1289 01:14:24,092 --> 01:14:26,060 for people like you and your families... 1290 01:14:26,094 --> 01:14:27,721 with large, gourmet frames... 1291 01:14:27,763 --> 01:14:30,163 I want a refund now... 1292 01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:32,360 or I will never do another affair here! 1293 01:14:32,401 --> 01:14:33,595 And that goes for all the Fasulis... 1294 01:14:33,635 --> 01:14:35,227 my wife's side, the Laciannos... 1295 01:14:35,270 --> 01:14:36,567 her mother's side, the Brunos... 1296 01:14:36,605 --> 01:14:40,097 the Baldimentes, and the Macrogiovannis! 1297 01:14:40,142 --> 01:14:42,508 We can't. We're paying off our loan. 1298 01:14:42,544 --> 01:14:44,011 Come help me! 1299 01:14:44,046 --> 01:14:46,571 Isabel threw up doing the Alley Cat. 1300 01:14:46,615 --> 01:14:50,745 I told her not to stuff herself with the pork in plum sauce! 1301 01:14:50,786 --> 01:14:52,947 Act casual. Maybe nobody will notice. 1302 01:14:52,988 --> 01:14:56,082 Nobody will notice she has vomit on her wedding gown? 1303 01:14:56,124 --> 01:14:59,116 Sadie, do something! 1304 01:14:59,161 --> 01:15:02,494 Here. Wipe her off with this rag... 1305 01:15:02,531 --> 01:15:05,193 and hang this car freshener on her. 1306 01:15:05,234 --> 01:15:06,861 It's the latest thing. 1307 01:15:06,902 --> 01:15:10,030 Rosario, couldn't we talk about this later, please? 1308 01:15:10,072 --> 01:15:12,540 Don't make him choose between me and you! 1309 01:15:12,574 --> 01:15:14,542 That's not a very nice thing to say. 1310 01:15:14,576 --> 01:15:16,043 If we're old enough to want to make love all day... 1311 01:15:16,078 --> 01:15:17,545 we're old enough to get married. 1312 01:15:17,579 --> 01:15:19,444 It's easy to make love all day when you're not married. 1313 01:15:19,481 --> 01:15:21,039 It's much harder when you have to! 1314 01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:23,551 That's right. Where are you going? 1315 01:15:23,585 --> 01:15:25,985 Her parents' house. They want us to be happy! 1316 01:15:26,021 --> 01:15:28,546 You'd go live with those sneaky sleaze bags? 1317 01:15:28,590 --> 01:15:31,423 How dare you say that about my parents! 1318 01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:33,553 Keep quiet! I'm talking to him! 1319 01:15:33,595 --> 01:15:35,790 We speak the truth because we love each other! 1320 01:15:35,831 --> 01:15:38,095 Yeah? Here's truth. You're jealous of us. 1321 01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:39,464 And here's another truth... 1322 01:15:39,501 --> 01:15:42,595 I don't know if I want to be in the catering business. 1323 01:15:44,806 --> 01:15:46,137 Hot stuff coming through. 1324 01:15:46,174 --> 01:15:48,574 I can't believe he left. 1325 01:15:48,610 --> 01:15:52,569 I can't believe he doesn't want to be in the catering business. 1326 01:15:52,614 --> 01:15:55,913 They're ready for the Polynesian pupu platters! 1327 01:15:55,951 --> 01:15:58,784 Hey, what happened? 1328 01:15:58,820 --> 01:16:01,880 Our heir apparent just walked out on us. 1329 01:16:01,924 --> 01:16:05,587 What happened to the bird? One of them keeled over. 1330 01:16:05,627 --> 01:16:07,595 Oh, my God. It's the female. 1331 01:16:07,629 --> 01:16:09,597 Mary, Mother of God, please save her. 1332 01:16:09,631 --> 01:16:11,599 Why are you so hysterical? 1333 01:16:11,633 --> 01:16:14,101 Don't you get the symbolism? 1334 01:16:14,136 --> 01:16:16,297 I jinxed the bird. 1335 01:16:16,338 --> 01:16:20,604 If she dies, I will have killed her with my thoughts! 1336 01:16:20,642 --> 01:16:21,973 Sadie, thoughts don't kill. 1337 01:16:22,010 --> 01:16:23,602 Please, Mike, rush her to the vet... 1338 01:16:23,645 --> 01:16:26,614 and don't let her die, please! 1339 01:16:26,648 --> 01:16:30,584 OK, OK, OK. I'll take her to the vet. 1340 01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:34,119 I can't come to the phone. 1341 01:16:34,156 --> 01:16:36,124 Having an out-of-body experience. 1342 01:16:36,158 --> 01:16:38,626 Leave your name and number after the beep... 1343 01:16:38,660 --> 01:16:43,120 and I'll call you back before Saturn is in retrograde. 1344 01:16:43,165 --> 01:16:44,655 Oh, boy. 1345 01:16:46,201 --> 01:16:47,634 Let me tell you a couple things... 1346 01:16:47,669 --> 01:16:49,296 about your mother-in-law that you don't know. 1347 01:16:49,338 --> 01:16:51,135 She auditioned for the original movie "Jaws." 1348 01:16:51,173 --> 01:16:54,939 Know why she didn't get it? Her mouth was too big. 1349 01:16:57,212 --> 01:16:59,203 She walked over to her girlfriend and said... 1350 01:16:59,247 --> 01:17:01,613 "I was stuck on the escalator for 31/2 hours." 1351 01:17:01,650 --> 01:17:04,278 - "Why didn't you walk down?" - "I was going up." 1352 01:17:04,319 --> 01:17:08,585 Monsignor, can I talk to you for a minute? 1353 01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:10,592 Thank you. 1354 01:17:12,227 --> 01:17:16,061 An anonymous underage couple... 1355 01:17:16,098 --> 01:17:18,726 partook of gratification coitally... 1356 01:17:18,767 --> 01:17:22,726 and I'd like to drop something on their heads... 1357 01:17:22,771 --> 01:17:24,102 but I don't want to be interfering... 1358 01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:27,597 and a bird, symbolizing the female in this couple... 1359 01:17:27,643 --> 01:17:29,634 is at death's door. 1360 01:17:29,678 --> 01:17:31,976 Are you familiar with the Blessed Roscoe... 1361 01:17:32,014 --> 01:17:35,313 the Merry Martyr? 1362 01:17:35,350 --> 01:17:41,812 No... but I have a feeling Mona Barcavella is. 1363 01:17:41,857 --> 01:17:44,348 You don't think she's a nut, do you, Father? 1364 01:17:44,393 --> 01:17:48,420 Sadie, there are people who think I'm a nut. 1365 01:17:48,463 --> 01:17:53,127 First the Blessed Roscoe said, "Love is all there is"... 1366 01:17:53,168 --> 01:17:57,104 and then he said, "Love is not enough." 1367 01:17:57,139 --> 01:18:00,074 That's the riddle of the Sphinx. 1368 01:18:00,108 --> 01:18:03,077 Love is all there is... 1369 01:18:03,111 --> 01:18:07,070 but when is love not enough? 1370 01:18:07,115 --> 01:18:11,950 I've been working on that one myself. 1371 01:18:11,987 --> 01:18:15,787 That's so comforting to know, Father. 1372 01:18:15,824 --> 01:18:18,088 I'll do this for you. 1373 01:18:18,126 --> 01:18:21,357 I'll give you another riddle. 1374 01:18:21,396 --> 01:18:26,800 Who are you when you're not a mother? 1375 01:18:26,835 --> 01:18:29,633 When I'm not a mother? 1376 01:18:31,139 --> 01:18:32,936 Who am I? 1377 01:18:36,578 --> 01:18:39,638 Monsignor, I don't know. 1378 01:18:42,417 --> 01:18:44,612 Now let me tell you about my mother-in-law. 1379 01:18:44,653 --> 01:18:46,280 This woman is so fat... 1380 01:18:46,321 --> 01:18:47,618 that she was crossing King's Highway... 1381 01:18:47,656 --> 01:18:50,557 a truck went around her and ran out of gas. 1382 01:18:50,592 --> 01:18:53,652 I'll tell you how stupid my mother-in-law is. 1383 01:18:53,695 --> 01:18:57,722 She thinks mutual orgasm is an insurance company. 1384 01:18:57,766 --> 01:18:59,563 Enough with the mother-in-law jokes. 1385 01:18:59,601 --> 01:19:01,569 How about the gaga that mother-in-laws... 1386 01:19:01,603 --> 01:19:03,571 put up with from daughter-in-laws? 1387 01:19:03,605 --> 01:19:05,334 Nobody ever talks about that. 1388 01:19:05,373 --> 01:19:08,900 You stink. Keep your mouth shut. 1389 01:19:08,944 --> 01:19:10,411 Who needs to listen to that? 1390 01:19:10,445 --> 01:19:13,243 My daughter-in-law, that strush. 1391 01:19:13,281 --> 01:19:15,010 Comedians... they have no respect. 1392 01:19:15,050 --> 01:19:16,347 You're not even funny! 1393 01:19:16,384 --> 01:19:18,079 Wait. I'm just... 1394 01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:20,088 Get off the stage! 1395 01:19:20,122 --> 01:19:23,421 You stink! Get the hell off! 1396 01:19:23,458 --> 01:19:25,119 It was just a joke. 1397 01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,628 You don't know dick! You're not funny. 1398 01:19:27,662 --> 01:19:29,596 I got a son-in-law. 1399 01:19:29,631 --> 01:19:31,758 Get off! You stink! 1400 01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:35,600 Mama, Papa, they did not want us to get married. 1401 01:19:35,637 --> 01:19:38,105 I really appreciate your accepting us, Dad. 1402 01:19:38,140 --> 01:19:40,608 You don't mind me calling you Dad, do you? 1403 01:19:40,642 --> 01:19:42,610 What are you doing? 1404 01:19:42,644 --> 01:19:44,612 Someday you will thank us. 1405 01:19:44,646 --> 01:19:46,773 Don't you come back here again! 1406 01:19:46,815 --> 01:19:48,612 We're locking her in her room... 1407 01:19:48,650 --> 01:19:51,118 and sending her to Paris tomorrow morning under guard! 1408 01:19:51,153 --> 01:19:53,781 Good thing my father isn't here! I'll kick you in the ass! 1409 01:19:53,822 --> 01:19:57,223 Burn this vulgar Cappamezza rag. 1410 01:20:23,251 --> 01:20:27,312 Rosario, you're back. Thank God. 1411 01:20:27,355 --> 01:20:28,686 Her parents locked her up. 1412 01:20:28,723 --> 01:20:30,088 They're giving her a police escort... 1413 01:20:30,125 --> 01:20:32,389 to the plane tomorrow. 1414 01:20:32,427 --> 01:20:33,894 It's for the best. 1415 01:20:33,929 --> 01:20:35,089 Those people, they're poison. 1416 01:20:35,130 --> 01:20:38,429 If she leaves, I never want to see you again. 1417 01:20:40,135 --> 01:20:41,625 Rosario... 1418 01:20:42,637 --> 01:20:44,002 Rosario... 1419 01:20:44,039 --> 01:20:46,599 you know how much I adore you. 1420 01:20:46,641 --> 01:20:48,609 You don't get it, do you, Ma? 1421 01:20:48,643 --> 01:20:50,611 It's over between us. 1422 01:20:50,645 --> 01:20:53,614 It's her turn to adore me now. 1423 01:20:53,648 --> 01:20:58,085 So you came back. That's good. 1424 01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:01,055 What happened? 1425 01:21:01,089 --> 01:21:05,355 Her parents lied to them about getting married... 1426 01:21:05,393 --> 01:21:08,556 and now they're sending her to Paris tomorrow by force. 1427 01:21:08,597 --> 01:21:10,588 Ooh, are we lucky. 1428 01:21:12,167 --> 01:21:15,102 Is the bird going to be OK? 1429 01:21:15,136 --> 01:21:18,128 It's got a broken wing. It's in shock. 1430 01:21:18,173 --> 01:21:21,108 With the X-rays, we're up to 200 bucks. 1431 01:21:21,142 --> 01:21:23,804 The vet wants to know how much we're willing to spend. 1432 01:21:23,845 --> 01:21:25,642 Everything we got! 1433 01:21:25,680 --> 01:21:30,447 Broken wing and shock. 1434 01:21:30,485 --> 01:21:32,248 What does this all mean? 1435 01:21:32,287 --> 01:21:35,381 Why does everything always have to mean something, Sadie? 1436 01:21:35,423 --> 01:21:38,085 Everything isn't always what it seems to be. 1437 01:21:38,126 --> 01:21:41,687 I'm looking for what really is. 1438 01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:45,166 I want to be a good person. 1439 01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:48,601 I don't want to change people by pushing them. 1440 01:21:48,637 --> 01:21:51,936 I want to change them with my love. 1441 01:22:08,890 --> 01:22:12,087 If we get arrested for this, I'll never tell... 1442 01:22:12,127 --> 01:22:16,063 because anything in the name of love is God's work. 1443 01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:19,931 We're like holy warriors and shit. 1444 01:22:19,968 --> 01:22:22,061 Heaven is here, where Juliet lives. 1445 01:22:22,103 --> 01:22:24,970 Every dog and every cat and every little mouse... 1446 01:22:25,006 --> 01:22:27,702 may look upon her, but Romeo may not. 1447 01:22:41,289 --> 01:22:43,757 When Carmella distracts them with the loud music... 1448 01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,589 I spike the sauce. 1449 01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:47,925 In the confusion, we snatch Gina away. 1450 01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:50,090 This is a great plan. I love this plan. 1451 01:22:50,131 --> 01:22:54,124 I'm calling my potion Rosario's Revenge. 1452 01:22:54,169 --> 01:22:56,137 Duck! 1453 01:22:56,171 --> 01:23:01,131 This is so exciting. 1454 01:23:01,176 --> 01:23:03,838 I humbly accept this award... 1455 01:23:03,878 --> 01:23:07,746 from the City Island Cultural Society. 1456 01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:15,045 - It's not going to work. - Are you kidding? 1457 01:23:15,090 --> 01:23:18,116 This stuff would kill the hairs on a Calabresa's ass. 1458 01:23:23,298 --> 01:23:27,758 As Italians, be proud to be from the country... 1459 01:23:27,802 --> 01:23:31,101 that gave us Dante, that gave us Da Vinci... 1460 01:23:31,139 --> 01:23:34,370 that gave us Puccini, that gave us... 1461 01:23:37,612 --> 01:23:39,807 Michelangelo. 1462 01:23:39,848 --> 01:23:41,839 How crude. 1463 01:23:41,883 --> 01:23:45,512 Piero della Francesca, Tintoretto. 1464 01:23:45,553 --> 01:23:48,613 Cappamezza sabotage. 1465 01:24:03,004 --> 01:24:04,699 Chase that calamari away from here. 1466 01:24:04,739 --> 01:24:06,366 Chase them! 1467 01:24:13,381 --> 01:24:15,576 - I hope this works. - Will you quit worrying? 1468 01:24:15,617 --> 01:24:16,879 There's hot peppers in there... 1469 01:24:16,918 --> 01:24:18,977 my family's been marinating since before Mussolini. 1470 01:24:19,020 --> 01:24:23,582 Oh, boy, they're coming this way. 1471 01:24:24,859 --> 01:24:27,350 We're on our way. 1472 01:24:27,395 --> 01:24:31,832 As Shakespeare would say, "May the merry farts begin." 1473 01:24:40,608 --> 01:24:44,066 This is the last straw of the Sicilian Cappamezza! 1474 01:24:44,112 --> 01:24:46,171 Destroy them! 1475 01:24:46,214 --> 01:24:48,375 I want you to bring them to their knees! 1476 01:24:48,416 --> 01:24:50,077 I will bring them to their feet! 1477 01:24:50,118 --> 01:24:51,608 Let me at them! 1478 01:24:54,322 --> 01:24:57,291 What did I tell you? It's working like a dream. 1479 01:24:57,325 --> 01:24:59,555 Hoist yourself up. I got you. 1480 01:25:02,697 --> 01:25:06,565 You came for me! 1481 01:25:06,601 --> 01:25:08,068 Quick. Leave them this note. 1482 01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:09,695 I want them to think we're committing suicide. 1483 01:25:09,737 --> 01:25:11,204 That way, when they find out... 1484 01:25:11,239 --> 01:25:12,934 we're just eloping, they'll be grateful. 1485 01:25:12,974 --> 01:25:14,703 You are so smart. 1486 01:25:14,742 --> 01:25:16,175 Quick, climb down my back. 1487 01:25:17,178 --> 01:25:19,976 All right. Move it over. 1488 01:25:20,014 --> 01:25:23,450 My ear. That's my ear. 1489 01:25:23,485 --> 01:25:24,952 Oh, God. 1490 01:25:27,088 --> 01:25:29,056 Go, Vinny! Go, Vinny! 1491 01:25:29,090 --> 01:25:31,217 Vinny! Vinny! Go, Vinny! 1492 01:25:42,604 --> 01:25:45,971 Come on! Come on! 1493 01:25:47,609 --> 01:25:49,099 Run! Run! 1494 01:25:52,881 --> 01:25:57,113 - We got to hide. - In here, in the smokehouse. 1495 01:25:59,053 --> 01:26:02,511 I was looking for my pussycat. You seen him? 1496 01:26:02,557 --> 01:26:04,582 Big orange guy, three legs. 1497 01:26:04,626 --> 01:26:07,595 Here, Tripod. Tripod. 1498 01:26:07,629 --> 01:26:11,065 Here, Tripod. Where are you, Tripod? 1499 01:26:11,099 --> 01:26:15,569 Tonight's the night for Isabel and Vinny 1500 01:26:15,603 --> 01:26:17,730 Whoo, Isabel! Whoo, Vinny! 1501 01:26:17,772 --> 01:26:20,206 Tonight's the night for Isabel and Vinny 1502 01:26:21,776 --> 01:26:26,076 The coast is clear. I think we can get away now. 1503 01:26:26,114 --> 01:26:31,051 This time tomorrow, we'll be in Tennessee and married. 1504 01:26:31,085 --> 01:26:35,579 We got to get to my car before they get back. 1505 01:26:35,623 --> 01:26:37,591 I love what you've done. 1506 01:26:37,625 --> 01:26:40,093 I love that we're tricking our parents. 1507 01:26:40,128 --> 01:26:42,096 They think they know everything. 1508 01:26:42,130 --> 01:26:45,588 Yeah. Who needs them? We got each other. 1509 01:26:45,633 --> 01:26:47,601 Should we not be going? 1510 01:26:47,635 --> 01:26:50,195 We got time. 1511 01:26:50,238 --> 01:26:54,404 Isabel and Vinny gonna do the wild thing 1512 01:26:54,442 --> 01:26:58,944 Whoo, Isabel! Whoa, Vinny! 1513 01:27:00,915 --> 01:27:05,215 Not Marilyn! My cake! What are you doing? 1514 01:27:05,253 --> 01:27:10,316 I'm gonna kill you! I swear! What are you doing? 1515 01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:16,386 It's OK. I'm going to help you. 1516 01:27:18,499 --> 01:27:21,957 The wedding is ruined. My life is over. 1517 01:27:22,003 --> 01:27:23,470 The Malacicis did this! 1518 01:27:23,504 --> 01:27:25,870 Let's go teach those ass wipes a lesson! 1519 01:27:25,907 --> 01:27:29,070 Nobody makes a jerk out of my baby Isabel! 1520 01:27:29,110 --> 01:27:31,078 I'll kill them! 1521 01:27:31,112 --> 01:27:33,774 Ooh, cannoli creme. 1522 01:27:33,848 --> 01:27:36,373 If I get my hands on them, I'll mash them... 1523 01:27:36,417 --> 01:27:39,284 I'll bash them, I'll pulverize them! 1524 01:27:39,320 --> 01:27:41,083 Do you know what this wedding cost me? 1525 01:27:41,122 --> 01:27:45,024 $22,500! Without the band! 1526 01:27:45,059 --> 01:27:47,254 Get them! Get every frigging one of them! 1527 01:27:47,295 --> 01:27:48,990 Get those bastards! 1528 01:27:49,030 --> 01:27:51,999 I saved 15 years for that beautiful wedding... 1529 01:27:52,033 --> 01:27:54,627 since her first Holy Communion! 1530 01:27:54,669 --> 01:27:56,136 Give me a hand. 1531 01:27:56,170 --> 01:27:59,867 Let's knock their new smokehouse over on its ass! Heave! 1532 01:28:02,577 --> 01:28:05,045 - What's happening? - I don't know. 1533 01:28:05,079 --> 01:28:06,637 We got to get out of here. 1534 01:28:06,681 --> 01:28:09,172 Heave! 1535 01:28:09,217 --> 01:28:11,185 We got them! We got them! 1536 01:28:11,219 --> 01:28:14,552 I think I pulled something. 1537 01:28:16,090 --> 01:28:17,557 Where's the door? 1538 01:28:17,592 --> 01:28:20,083 I don't know. I think we're sitting on it. 1539 01:28:24,499 --> 01:28:28,731 OK, let's not panic. I'll figure something out. 1540 01:28:30,271 --> 01:28:31,738 What is that smell? 1541 01:28:34,842 --> 01:28:38,471 Gas. A line must be broken. 1542 01:28:38,513 --> 01:28:41,448 Help! Help! Help! 1543 01:28:41,482 --> 01:28:43,143 Somebody help us, please! 1544 01:28:43,184 --> 01:28:45,550 Please! Mama! Papa! 1545 01:28:45,586 --> 01:28:48,077 Mommy! Daddy! Help, please! 1546 01:28:51,926 --> 01:28:55,487 Gina is gone! She left this note! 1547 01:28:55,530 --> 01:28:56,690 "Dear parents... 1548 01:28:56,731 --> 01:28:58,289 "we don't want to live without each other. 1549 01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:00,528 "Forgive us for what we are doing. 1550 01:29:00,568 --> 01:29:01,728 "Rosario and Gina. 1551 01:29:01,769 --> 01:29:03,600 "Lovers forever in life and death." 1552 01:29:07,575 --> 01:29:09,042 It's Rosario's handwriting! 1553 01:29:09,077 --> 01:29:12,706 He can't mean suicide! 1554 01:29:12,747 --> 01:29:14,544 You have to find our children! 1555 01:29:14,582 --> 01:29:16,777 Jimmy, put out an APB on them. 1556 01:29:16,818 --> 01:29:19,252 They can't have gone far. Please, go do it! 1557 01:29:19,287 --> 01:29:23,053 Could the bird... Could the broken wing mean... 1558 01:29:23,091 --> 01:29:25,582 - We got to go find them. - Come on! 1559 01:29:25,626 --> 01:29:28,060 Help! Help! 1560 01:29:28,096 --> 01:29:29,324 Help! 1561 01:29:29,364 --> 01:29:33,664 If they die, I will never forgive myself. 1562 01:29:33,701 --> 01:29:38,070 Blessed Mother, Mikey and I and our new acquaintances... 1563 01:29:38,106 --> 01:29:40,574 the Count and Contessa Malacici... 1564 01:29:40,608 --> 01:29:45,944 ask you to please bring our children home safely. 1565 01:29:45,980 --> 01:29:47,709 Please, I'll go to church every week. 1566 01:29:47,749 --> 01:29:49,944 - I go with you! - Oh, Gina! 1567 01:29:53,755 --> 01:29:57,521 It's no use. I can't find the leak. 1568 01:29:57,558 --> 01:30:01,153 I regret any moment I've lived without you. 1569 01:30:01,195 --> 01:30:03,527 We'll be together forever in the afterlife. 1570 01:30:03,564 --> 01:30:05,395 Always. 1571 01:30:07,301 --> 01:30:14,139 - I don't want to die! - Help! 1572 01:30:14,175 --> 01:30:16,735 - Michael. - What? 1573 01:30:16,778 --> 01:30:19,042 I promise, if the children are all right... 1574 01:30:19,080 --> 01:30:22,675 we will divide the neighborhood in equal part. 1575 01:30:22,717 --> 01:30:25,049 I will go after only the upper echelon... 1576 01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:28,544 and you will go after the people of your level. 1577 01:30:28,589 --> 01:30:31,057 You're a real fair guy for a big snob. 1578 01:30:31,092 --> 01:30:32,821 I thank you very much. 1579 01:30:32,860 --> 01:30:37,593 Please, dear God, send somebody to guide us. 1580 01:30:39,100 --> 01:30:41,398 Look! Quick, stop the car! 1581 01:30:48,276 --> 01:30:52,474 - Mona? - I've been praying for you. 1582 01:30:52,513 --> 01:30:54,310 It's a miracle that you heard me. 1583 01:30:54,348 --> 01:30:56,816 Both of your kids is in danger. 1584 01:30:56,851 --> 01:30:59,752 But doesn't the Blessed Roscoe know where they are? 1585 01:30:59,787 --> 01:31:02,187 The Blessed Roscoe can't help you. 1586 01:31:02,223 --> 01:31:05,192 You are creating the meaning to your life. 1587 01:31:05,226 --> 01:31:07,091 You got the power here. 1588 01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:09,596 You will find them, with this. 1589 01:31:09,630 --> 01:31:11,894 - This? - Yes! 1590 01:31:11,933 --> 01:31:15,027 This and this and this ain't enough anymore. 1591 01:31:15,069 --> 01:31:19,028 Now go! You ain't got a second to lose. 1592 01:31:19,073 --> 01:31:20,631 Go! 1593 01:31:20,675 --> 01:31:22,540 Where are we to go? 1594 01:31:22,577 --> 01:31:24,670 I don't know, but we ain't got a second to waste. 1595 01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:31,015 Help... 1596 01:31:31,052 --> 01:31:32,246 Help. 1597 01:31:33,888 --> 01:31:36,857 We have been around this neighborhood three times. 1598 01:31:36,891 --> 01:31:39,018 Now we must go back, check with the police! 1599 01:31:39,060 --> 01:31:40,550 A little longer, please. 1600 01:31:40,595 --> 01:31:43,086 I'm trying to find them with this. 1601 01:31:44,599 --> 01:31:46,567 You all right? 1602 01:31:46,601 --> 01:31:48,091 Yeah. I fell down. I hurt my arm. 1603 01:31:48,135 --> 01:31:51,070 I think your arm is broken. 1604 01:31:51,105 --> 01:31:53,073 - Mike. - What? 1605 01:31:53,107 --> 01:31:56,565 Mike, it's me! It's me! 1606 01:31:56,611 --> 01:31:59,512 I'm the bird with the broken wing. 1607 01:31:59,547 --> 01:32:02,641 I'm the one who has to be healed. 1608 01:32:02,683 --> 01:32:04,514 What is she talking about? 1609 01:32:04,552 --> 01:32:06,918 I don't know what she is talking about. 1610 01:32:06,954 --> 01:32:09,013 They're not committing suicide. 1611 01:32:09,056 --> 01:32:13,516 It's me that wanted to die from losing him. 1612 01:32:13,561 --> 01:32:15,529 They're eloping. 1613 01:32:15,563 --> 01:32:17,531 Piero, turn the car around. 1614 01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:20,056 They're in danger! 1615 01:32:20,101 --> 01:32:21,625 You just said they're eloping. 1616 01:32:21,669 --> 01:32:24,035 Maybe they were, but now they're in danger. 1617 01:32:24,071 --> 01:32:26,938 Look at the cloud. 1618 01:32:26,974 --> 01:32:28,441 Don't you see the snorting dragons? 1619 01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:32,173 I don't see the clouds. What is a snorty dragon? 1620 01:32:32,213 --> 01:32:34,443 Piero, turn the car around. 1621 01:32:39,253 --> 01:32:44,589 Thus with a kiss, I die. 1622 01:32:57,138 --> 01:33:01,008 They're here. 1623 01:33:01,042 --> 01:33:02,509 Where? Where are they? 1624 01:33:02,543 --> 01:33:05,011 They're here somewhere. I'm beginning to feel it, 1625 01:33:05,046 --> 01:33:08,812 Not just here or here or here... 1626 01:33:08,849 --> 01:33:11,682 but here! 1627 01:33:11,719 --> 01:33:14,017 Over here! This way! 1628 01:33:14,055 --> 01:33:16,023 Which way? This way? 1629 01:33:16,057 --> 01:33:17,524 This way! This way! 1630 01:33:17,558 --> 01:33:19,526 Which way are you talking about? 1631 01:33:19,560 --> 01:33:21,551 No! Over here! 1632 01:33:23,931 --> 01:33:25,523 Listen. 1633 01:33:25,566 --> 01:33:27,898 I hear something. 1634 01:33:27,935 --> 01:33:29,402 I smell gas. 1635 01:33:29,437 --> 01:33:31,166 The smokehouse! 1636 01:33:38,179 --> 01:33:41,171 They got to be in there. Grab that edge. 1637 01:33:41,215 --> 01:33:44,981 We got it! Push it down! 1638 01:33:45,019 --> 01:33:46,680 Pull it open! 1639 01:33:46,721 --> 01:33:51,317 Help. Let me out of here. 1640 01:33:51,359 --> 01:33:53,554 Push again. 1641 01:33:53,594 --> 01:33:55,562 No, no, no. Pull. 1642 01:33:55,596 --> 01:33:57,359 Push. 1643 01:33:57,398 --> 01:33:59,366 Open the door. Where's the door? 1644 01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:00,731 Pull! 1645 01:34:02,470 --> 01:34:04,028 Oh, God. 1646 01:34:06,540 --> 01:34:08,167 Thank you so much. 1647 01:34:08,209 --> 01:34:11,337 Jesus. I'm so sorry. 1648 01:34:19,053 --> 01:34:20,850 Where am I? 1649 01:34:20,888 --> 01:34:23,356 You're in the hospital. 1650 01:34:23,391 --> 01:34:26,519 This, I think, you'll get a big kick out of. 1651 01:34:26,560 --> 01:34:29,996 You're on sedatives, just like the bird. 1652 01:34:31,799 --> 01:34:33,767 I'm glad you're OK, Sadie. 1653 01:34:33,801 --> 01:34:37,259 I would have been indisposable without you, you know. 1654 01:34:37,304 --> 01:34:39,534 I know, Mikey. 1655 01:34:41,108 --> 01:34:45,602 I am so happy You're looking so well, Sadie. 1656 01:34:45,646 --> 01:34:47,841 From the bottom of my soul... 1657 01:34:47,882 --> 01:34:51,841 I want to thank you that you find the children. 1658 01:34:51,886 --> 01:34:54,150 You are very spiritual. 1659 01:34:54,188 --> 01:34:57,214 Thank you, Piero. 1660 01:34:57,258 --> 01:35:02,491 I'm sorry for acting so nutsy with you. 1661 01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:04,430 You forgive us? 1662 01:35:04,465 --> 01:35:07,195 That's what mothers are for. 1663 01:35:07,234 --> 01:35:09,998 We were too young to get married... 1664 01:35:10,037 --> 01:35:13,006 but we believe the experience has grown us up. 1665 01:35:13,040 --> 01:35:16,009 We want to get married because we believe... 1666 01:35:16,043 --> 01:35:20,241 the meaning for you saving us is so that we could be together. 1667 01:35:20,281 --> 01:35:23,978 What do you think, Monsignor? 1668 01:35:24,018 --> 01:35:31,982 At sixteen, sexuality overwhelms other feelings. 1669 01:35:32,026 --> 01:35:36,258 Can they love themselves enough... 1670 01:35:36,297 --> 01:35:39,164 so they can love each other more? 1671 01:35:39,200 --> 01:35:42,033 Another mystery, Monsignor? 1672 01:35:44,538 --> 01:35:45,869 Mike? 1673 01:35:45,906 --> 01:35:48,739 I vote yes because they got us over a barrel. 1674 01:35:48,776 --> 01:35:51,939 Maria? Piero? 1675 01:35:51,979 --> 01:35:54,106 One moment, please, eh? 1676 01:36:11,632 --> 01:36:14,601 They are in love. That is a fact. 1677 01:36:14,635 --> 01:36:16,933 We agree to the marriage. 1678 01:36:18,539 --> 01:36:20,598 Under this condition... 1679 01:36:20,641 --> 01:36:25,874 the appetizer and the pasta will be at your catering hall. 1680 01:36:25,913 --> 01:36:29,610 The entree and the dessert will be at our catering hall... 1681 01:36:29,650 --> 01:36:32,312 and there will be no smoke effect... 1682 01:36:32,353 --> 01:36:33,684 or the deal is off! 1683 01:37:03,117 --> 01:37:06,086 Before we begin our ceremony... 1684 01:37:06,120 --> 01:37:10,079 Rosario and Gina have written their own vows... 1685 01:37:10,124 --> 01:37:14,151 and they'd like to make them at this time. 1686 01:37:14,195 --> 01:37:17,596 I'm sure the marriage will mature them real fast... 1687 01:37:17,631 --> 01:37:20,031 and everything will be all right. 1688 01:37:20,067 --> 01:37:23,093 I promise that I will never wear clothes... 1689 01:37:23,137 --> 01:37:25,105 that you don't think I look good in. 1690 01:37:25,139 --> 01:37:27,607 And I promise to give you the space... 1691 01:37:27,641 --> 01:37:30,508 to play your kind of music. 1692 01:37:30,544 --> 01:37:34,139 At least they're not on drugs, except for each other. 1693 01:37:34,181 --> 01:37:36,615 I'd like to thank my parents for making it possible... 1694 01:37:36,650 --> 01:37:38,618 for me to go to Paris with Gina for four years... 1695 01:37:38,652 --> 01:37:41,120 to study acting at the Comedie-Fran�aise during the day 1696 01:37:41,155 --> 01:37:44,454 and Cordon Bleu for cooking at night. 1697 01:37:44,491 --> 01:37:46,789 And my parents, for allowing me... 1698 01:37:46,827 --> 01:37:49,819 to study ballet and archaeology... 1699 01:37:49,864 --> 01:37:51,627 and for supporting me and Rosario... 1700 01:37:51,665 --> 01:37:55,032 while we find ourselves. 1701 01:38:04,411 --> 01:38:06,606 I hope they're going to be happy, Mikey. 1702 01:38:06,647 --> 01:38:10,606 If they're not... 1703 01:38:10,651 --> 01:38:12,949 it's really none of our business. 1704 01:38:14,622 --> 01:38:17,182 I figured it out. 1705 01:38:17,224 --> 01:38:20,591 "Love is all there is" means that love is real. 1706 01:38:20,628 --> 01:38:23,961 Love is the immortal soul. 1707 01:38:23,998 --> 01:38:26,125 So if you're a parent... 1708 01:38:26,166 --> 01:38:28,726 you let your children follow their hearts. 1709 01:38:30,838 --> 01:38:33,102 And "love is not enough"... 1710 01:38:33,140 --> 01:38:37,600 means that even if your kids don't know what they're doing... 1711 01:38:37,645 --> 01:38:40,614 if you're a good parent, you say... 1712 01:38:40,648 --> 01:38:44,448 "It's OK. It's your life." 1713 01:38:54,028 --> 01:38:55,620 We release these doves... 1714 01:38:55,663 --> 01:38:59,429 and our love soars with them. 1715 01:38:59,466 --> 01:39:02,902 I think the birds being so healthy and happy... 1716 01:39:02,937 --> 01:39:06,373 means that the kids are going to be, too. 1717 01:39:14,915 --> 01:39:16,883 I wonder what that means. 1718 01:39:16,917 --> 01:39:22,583 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1719 01:39:22,623 --> 01:39:25,615 You may kiss the bride. 1720 01:39:36,136 --> 01:39:38,127 Lovely. 1721 01:39:41,675 --> 01:39:44,109 And they all lived happily ever after... 1722 01:39:44,144 --> 01:39:47,113 till last Thursday around 3:00... 1723 01:39:47,147 --> 01:39:50,139 but that's another story. 126403