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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,360 This film is based on events that occurred in Barcelona in 2015. 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,120 Identifying information has been omitted 3 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,800 to protect the families of those involved. 4 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,280 Hold on a second. 5 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,480 If we’re telling the story, let’s do it right. 6 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,320 Tell it from the beginning, with all the details. 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,280 When the media got hold of it, they lied and exaggerated the story. 8 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,760 We suffered a lot. 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,160 Look! 10 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,640 Look how much we’ve suffered. 11 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,040 It’ll be like therapy, or atonement. 12 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,440 The truth and nothing but the truth. 13 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,120 No holds barred… 14 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,880 Subjectivity: reconstruction of events. 15 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,560 My wife is a fox. She's stunning, gorgeous. 16 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,480 The first time I saw her in the nude 17 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,240 it was like standing at the altar of the Virgin Mary. 18 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,959 Imagine, a woman like that, married to me. 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,320 My wife is the best. 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:11,400 She’s rock ’n’ roll, great-looking, funny, intelligent, bright… 21 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,240 She’s the mother of my daughters, although she’s a mother to me too. 22 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,920 She really takes care of me. 23 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,240 And she keeps me in line! 24 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,400 She has a perfect body. 25 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,200 Her eyes, her hair, her skin, the way she smells… 26 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,200 You should see her dance! 27 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,440 Plus she’s intelligent, funny, smart, witty… 28 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:36,040 She’s a fucking goddess. A goddess, she’s stunning, but... 29 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:41,640 She’s very good-looking, but the only problem is that... 30 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,800 Is that... 31 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,400 Is that, you know... 32 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,840 When you open a gift, it’s a surprise. 33 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,960 But what if you open that gift a hundred times? A thousand? 34 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,639 No, a million times. What do you do? 35 00:02:09,039 --> 00:02:11,200 You kiss her head like a granddaughter, 36 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,160 squeeze her cheeks like a baby. 37 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,440 You start using cute nicknames. 38 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,880 “Sweetie-pie,” “Baby cakes.” 39 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,880 You see her as one of the family, 40 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,200 your sister, your cousin, your grandma. 41 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,480 And sleeping with one of your family... 42 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,600 That’s incest, right? 43 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,800 You get annoyed by stupid things you never noticed before. 44 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,600 Dirty feet. 45 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:36,000 She walks round the house barefoot and gets in bed with dirty feet. 46 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,280 The granny scarf, a raggedy sweater, turtleneck underwear... 47 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,960 You love what's behind the appearance. 48 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:47,080 Night cream. On her face, all over her body. 49 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,080 It’s like sleeping with a wax doll. 50 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,960 You consider yourself a lucky guy. 51 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,840 But you know... 52 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,280 ...she doesn't... 53 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,760 Fine. I’ll say it. 54 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,200 She doesn’t turn you on. 55 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,200 You love her… but you don’t want her. 56 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:59,040 We were... no, we still are friends from way back. 57 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,840 We swore an oath that went: 58 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,960 I swear by all worldly pleasures, 59 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,000 by all the vices and all the booze, 60 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,560 that we’ll always be friends, 61 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,839 no matter what happens, 62 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,600 even if it’s bad. 63 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,880 However messed up you get. Amen! 64 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:23,760 Amen. 65 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,280 Totally inseparable. 66 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,640 Christ! We said it all the time. 67 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,360 So we kept the oath, 68 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,760 we went to college and we stuck together. 69 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:38,600 Well… 70 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,960 I was the first to get married. 71 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,120 Marcos got married, I met Nuria… 72 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,880 Marriage, work, responsibilities, commitments… 73 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,240 That’s life, right? 74 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,400 Then we all got an invitation 75 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,760 to the student reunion at our old high school. 76 00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,760 I didn’t think twice. 77 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,120 It was a chance to see the old gang again. 78 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,040 I had to go. 79 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,200 What’s up!? 80 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,720 They’d gotten older. 81 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,240 They were older, balder... 82 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,440 they were fatter. 83 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,960 You have to stay in shape! 84 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,520 Use skin cream, take calcium, eat bananas. 85 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,040 So where’s Juanillo? 86 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,520 - He's not here yet. - Must be on his way. 87 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,160 How could we weigh more with less hair? 88 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,800 There we all were... 89 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,200 and it was so great to see them! 90 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,840 We sat down at a table and talked like crazy. 91 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,440 Life's great, work is fantastic, life's amazing. 92 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,560 The night flew by, we were drunk, they closed the restaurant, 93 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,800 we didn’t know where to go and... 94 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,160 I think it was Juan. 95 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,240 I think it was Carlos. 96 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,920 I think it was Marcos. 97 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,200 I think it was David. 98 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,240 Jesus, look out, dude! 99 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,840 OK! Over here Over here! 100 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,120 - What are you doing? - Shut up, OK? 101 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,280 Be careful, dude! 102 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,320 - Oh shit! - Be careful! 103 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,520 Can you keep it down a bit? 104 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,960 You’ll wake up the whole neighborhood! 105 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,640 - Watch your balls! - Don't you get vertigo? 106 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,640 Shut the fuck up! 107 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,160 We're in! 108 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:43,880 Fucking awesome! 109 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,680 We were fifteen again. Wow. It was epic. 110 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,240 So long since I smoked a joint. 111 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,640 Good, huh? It's from my cousin. Should I get more? 112 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,840 Yeah, sure! 113 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,080 If my wife finds out I’m toking she’ll cut my dick off. 114 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,240 When you get home, make love to her, you'll be fine. 115 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,960 I don’t make love anymore. 116 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,960 - So what do you do? - I'm just a bugbear. 117 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,160 - No more wolfman! -Yeah! 118 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,960 Pass me the joint. Come on, man! 119 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,440 Whoa, that smell! 120 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,240 Yup, it stinks. 121 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,000 Do you guys have a lot of sex with your wives? 122 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:00,720 Sure! I’m a stud. 123 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,040 - More like a dud. - Moron. 124 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,200 But how often? 125 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,200 I dunno… Per year? Per month? 126 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,280 Per week. 127 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,600 Not weekly, there’s no way because of the girls. 128 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,240 But my wife and I manage, every now and then. 129 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:21,800 Yeah. If we make an effort we might do it... once. 130 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,640 Once? 131 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:26,680 Once. 132 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:27,920 And you, Juan? 133 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,080 More! Way more. 134 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,800 And you, Carlos? 135 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,600 I don’t know, once, sometimes twice. 136 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,679 So you're like me, right? 137 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,120 What do you mean? 138 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,840 You never feel like sleeping with your wives. 139 00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:45,160 - What are you talking about? - Come on, what the fuck, man? 140 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,480 Speak for yourself! 141 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,800 OK, fine! What a pair! 142 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,200 On weeknights, 143 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,680 my mother-in-law stays over 144 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,080 to help with the girls. 145 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,160 The passion fades. 146 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,480 Passion doesn’t fade. Passion is passion. 147 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,760 We’ve accepted this like it’s totally normal. 148 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,640 Doesn't that worry you? 149 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,080 It really doesn't worry you? 150 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,760 It doesn't worry you? 151 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:37,160 Hey, David. Man, it worries me. 152 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,720 Christ! An honest guy! 153 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,040 So what do you do? 154 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,280 I don't know. What can I do? Nothing. 155 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,840 Some nights I don’t feel like it and I lock myself in the bathroom. 156 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,320 I turn on the faucet, let the water run and... 157 00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,760 I wait till she falls asleep. 158 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,800 That's how it is. 159 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,480 I have a secret technique. 160 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,440 I have telekinetic sex. 161 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,520 When I’m in bed with my wife I imagine another woman. 162 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,920 That way I break up the monotony. 163 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,440 Using my method, I’ve had sex... 164 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,800 with Sara Carbonero, Beyoncé… 165 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,400 Even Letizia. 166 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,600 Letizia? 167 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,440 She’s skinny, but she’s the queen! 168 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,920 Damn, we’re in bad shape. 169 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,360 Hey, no big deal, right? 170 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,840 The other night I left work stressed, more than usual. 171 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,120 And I walked into one of these disco bars. 172 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:39,560 There happiness, life, people having fun, women! 173 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,560 You know, women? 174 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,720 I just took off, scared shitless, I freaked out. 175 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,720 I got home and it was all I could think about. 176 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,760 I needed to go out drinking, dance, get wasted. 177 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:53,800 I needed you guys. 178 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,800 I needed to tomatify. 179 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,240 “Tomatify.” 180 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,880 We were married! 181 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:05,880 “Tomatify.” 182 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,360 That was our word for going out to pick up chicks, 183 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,400 when we were kids. 184 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,160 It seemed so long ago. 185 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,000 It was super late and we had work the next day 186 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,840 so we said good night and went home. 187 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,680 It was so late it was already day. 188 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,800 We all went home... 189 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,400 but something... had changed. 190 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,280 In our heads, there was only one thought. 191 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,800 It was insane. 192 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,200 “Tomatify.” 193 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,320 “Tomatify.” 194 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,640 We didn’t realize, but we were opening Pandora’s box 195 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,360 and climbing inside. 196 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,960 I made a WhatsApp group called “Tomato.” 197 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,880 “Tomato, tomato...” 198 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,240 We sent each other 300 messages a day. 199 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,200 Come on! 200 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,000 I ignored them. 201 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,880 I wanted to solve my real problems. 202 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,800 I was totally stressed out. 203 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,160 Like an ice cube right here in my chest. 204 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,200 So I went to see my psychiatrist. 205 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,800 He was nervous. I prescribed Rivotril drops. 206 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,520 Rivotril, Rivofril or something. It calmed me down a lot. 207 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,080 I recommended a center for sexual disorders. 208 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,600 Caress therapy, learning to kiss, to enjoy repetition, 209 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:03,040 the language of the hands, the imagination as a sexual organ. 210 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,680 All those plastic couples 211 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,320 smiling at each other. 212 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,800 But I was willing to do anything. Anything. 213 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,600 Obviously he had to go with his wife 214 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,960 No. No way. 215 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,840 I can’t go home and tell my wife, "I don’t want you anymore." 216 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,720 "By the way, I signed you up for New Age caress therapy." 217 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:27,480 Come on! 218 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,200 You can’t tell your wife you don’t desire her. 219 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,360 It would be like saying you don’t like her mom, for example. 220 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,800 Or that she looks fat in the morning. 221 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,880 Or that her sister is hot. 222 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,720 Look, how can we desire our wives 223 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,720 if we don’t desire anyone? 224 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,000 We could go out and try. 225 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,000 Right? 226 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,240 I could help us... 227 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:51,800 I dunno. 228 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,480 To get back what we lost. 229 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,400 “Tomatifying,” isn’t going out to score. 230 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,800 It’s going out... 231 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,360 and maybe you score. 232 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,760 I spent the whole night thinking... 233 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,680 How could we go out and tomatify without our wives finding out? 234 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,920 We had to play away, as visitors. 235 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,880 A weekend just for us. 236 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,760 David had the idea of the courses. 237 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,360 I made a pack in Photoshop. 238 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,160 So I got a marketing course, 239 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,720 put each person's company logo on it 240 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,800 and sent it to them to print out. 241 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,400 Awesome idea. 242 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,960 The packs were crap. 243 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:32,040 They had topics, times, subjects and the tutors' names. 244 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,800 Two pages, not much more. 245 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,320 We picked a date: the following Friday. 246 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,760 We had to choose a city. 247 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,800 Zaragoza. 248 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,200 It was perfect. 249 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,600 It was far enough away 250 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,840 and big enough 251 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,000 that no-one had friends or family there. 252 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:49,680 "Oh, Zaragoza, fairest of the fair, 253 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,840 you’ve got a crack in your ass and it’s full of hair." 254 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,960 But what if one of our wives calls the hotel 255 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,760 while we're out tomatifying? 256 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,120 We bought a phone and put the number in the pack as the hotel's. 257 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,920 So if our wives called, the machine would pick up. 258 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,160 Devious, huh? 259 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,600 Then we call our wife back 260 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,800 before they call again. 261 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,680 Carlos came in, even more nervous than usual. 262 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,600 I told him my friends' plans 263 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,680 and asked if it made sense to cheat on our wives 264 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,240 to revive our marriages. 265 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,440 It was outrageous! I’d never heard of anything like it. 266 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,000 I immediately asked if I could come along. 267 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,040 I couldn’t say no. 268 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,040 My name is Benet Sáez. 269 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,400 But you can call me Dr. Sáez. 270 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,440 I've been married to my wife 271 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,800 for 27 years. 272 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,960 I want to enjoy of every minute of my life. 273 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,000 27 years… 274 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,040 When we had our info packs, it was time to lie. 275 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,280 Honey, I don’t want to go to Zaragoza. 276 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,120 Zaragoza? I don’t like Zaragoza. 277 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,760 We have to do this course: "Marketing and Sales.” 278 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,480 And... blah, blah, blah. 279 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,000 The day of the first outing come around. 280 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,400 The hardest part of psychiatry... 281 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,760 is that people are irrational. 282 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,400 People cry when they’re happy. 283 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,880 Can you think of anything more ridiculous? 284 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,640 Their irrationality makes psychiatry an impossible science! 285 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,000 Well anyway, there they are. We made it. 286 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,880 Doctor! Welcome to the family. 287 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,400 - And you are? - I'm David. 288 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,760 Marcos, what the - ? 289 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,640 What are you doing? 290 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,800 I’m scared of being recognized! 291 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,600 You look like the invisible man. 292 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,680 Leave that here! A keg? 293 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,480 Relax, leave it to me! 294 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,720 Don’t worry, I’ll sit in the middle and put it between my legs. 295 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,320 A beer? Stick it on your head. 296 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,440 I can’t see! 297 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,160 Get this, get this! What if we change names? 298 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,560 I'll be Marcos Banderas. 299 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,000 No, I’m Marcos. 300 00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:07,400 What’s the problem? We can both be Marcos. 301 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,480 - Take it easy! - OK, cut it out! 302 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,200 My wife! My wife is calling! 303 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,119 - Take the call! - I’m answering, I’m answering! 304 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,119 I'm answering! 305 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,720 - Hi Pookie Bear. - Pookie Bear? 306 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:23,680 Please! Be quiet! 307 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,040 Hello, I’m still on the bus. 308 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,240 Everybody’s asleep, I can’t talk right now. 309 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:31,800 We’re going through a... There’s not much cover... 310 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,200 Give the kids lots of kisses from me. 311 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,800 And a big one for you too. 312 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,400 I’ll call you when I get there. 313 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,840 So are we changing names or not? 314 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,120 - If I can't be Marcos... - Not Marcos again! 315 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,480 I’m Marcos! 316 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,760 You guys are giving me a headache! 317 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:51,960 Get this straight OK? 318 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,680 I’m chewing a Valium, if anyone...? 319 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,680 What do you mean, you don't want to? 320 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,480 You're fucking kidding! 321 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,560 Hey, hey! This is a B-side! 322 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,160 Listen to me, my old friend… 323 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,800 I don’t know if you’ll remember... 324 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,760 We never changed names. 325 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,480 Singing like crazy. 326 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,720 On the edge of right, On the edge of right... 327 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:27,000 On the edge of wrong, on the edge of wrong... 328 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:32,200 I’ll be waiting on the edge of right and wrong. 329 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,240 Hey! No! Motherfuckers! 330 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,480 We had the biggest seafood feast in history. 331 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,240 OK, boys, here you go. 332 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:47,800 My God... 333 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,560 Olé, olé! 334 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,600 In Zaragoza. Seafood. Barnacles, nom nom. 335 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,640 Little prawns. Delicious. 336 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,760 Ferran is capable of anything. 337 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,080 Any kids, doctor? 338 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,240 No. We haven’t had children. 339 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,840 We’ve had several dogs, but no kids. 340 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,080 - You couldn’t? -No, we just didn't. 341 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,240 - By the way... - I have two. 342 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,560 A little bird told me your wife is very beautiful. 343 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,160 Yes, she's beautiful. 344 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,480 A total goddess... 345 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,200 She is scorching hot. 346 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,680 Yes, she's hot. 347 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,640 You didn’t bone my wife with that telekinesis of yours, did you? 348 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,960 He boned her, her boned her! 349 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,600 He boned her! 350 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,360 And yours too! 351 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,880 You don't fuck your buddies' wives! 352 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,400 Get that into your head! 353 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,000 Hold on! You have to tell us that secret technique of yours. 354 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,160 - No, no. - Yes, come on... 355 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,440 OK, shut up! Be quiet! 356 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,880 OK, OK. But keep it down, please! 357 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,240 When I have to perform with my wife, 358 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,520 I perform. 359 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,520 But you know what I do? I fake it. 360 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,400 - How do you fake it? - The orgasm! 361 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,360 But how? 362 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:18,840 OK, listen: 363 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,720 So you’re with your wife, you’re in bed 364 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,800 and this is important: she's face down, ass in the air. 365 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,360 so when she's in position ass in the air, 366 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,640 you slip it in to your wife. 367 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,840 OK? Right there, like a colossus. Inside. 368 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,880 And you start gradually, that's the way. 369 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,200 Without losing contact. 370 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,120 Nice and slow, no hurry. 371 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,080 Then you change it up. 372 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,240 Change it up. And then... 373 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,440 Right cheek, left cheek right cheek, left cheek. 374 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,920 You start to play with those things. 375 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,840 You change the rhythm. 376 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,600 You're there, giving it all you got, and you go... 377 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:15,040 There comes a point, I'm in there, really tight... 378 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,080 You're like a battering ram. 379 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,480 You’re Attila! You're Attila!. 380 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,360 The grass will never grow back! 381 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,880 You slap that ass! 382 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,000 Finally you're like... 383 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,560 Go on, cum! 384 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,720 That's it. Bin the condom. 385 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,160 Oh please. 386 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,960 I find it all really stressful. 387 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,040 Anyway, we ate and drank like wild beasts. 388 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,800 We got a little bit side-tracked that night. 389 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,720 That’s not a kebab, you know what it is? A dürüm. 390 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,240 - It’s a real dürüm. - It's called a dürüm. 391 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,520 Dürüm! 392 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,280 From now on I’ll call you bean sprout. 393 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,960 Look, I’ll do it with yours, with mine it’s gross. 394 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,760 OK, what's this? 395 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,320 An Eskimo jerking off. 396 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,240 An Eskimo! 397 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,840 What does a wife say to her husband 398 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,920 after giving him a blow job? 399 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,320 What does she say? 400 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,760 I love you. 401 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,800 Oh man, please! 402 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,880 What do you want me to do? She works, I work every day. 403 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,440 Put a little humor in your life! A little spice. 404 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,080 Fuck, I can't believe I'm the one saying this! 405 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,680 - You have no shame. - Carlitos! Carlitos! 406 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,840 Carlitos! I’m proud of you for saying that. 407 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,160 - Carlitos! -Why do you think I'm here? 408 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:03,840 I love you. 409 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:04,960 And you know what? 410 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,360 I love you too, even though you’re a pussy. 411 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,920 - Me too. - For Christ's sake. 412 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,680 Don't get mad, I love you too. 413 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,280 Guys, I can’t take any more. 414 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,440 - What time is it? - Midnight. 415 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,200 We were scared of hooking up. 416 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,280 We ate too much. 417 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,320 Juan said he'd take us somewhere he'd been recommended. 418 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,840 A quiet spot, with music and a young crowd... 419 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,680 Night owl, night owl... 420 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:42,680 My wife is so delighted, I’m a night owl! 421 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,840 I'm a night owl! 422 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:53,400 A night owl! 423 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,440 We'd forgotten the point of the trip. 424 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,760 We took a taxi and the adventure began. 425 00:23:59,000 --> 00:23:59,840 No excuses. 426 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,880 Time to tomatify. 427 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,880 Kill or be killed. 428 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,880 It was about being young again. 429 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,520 Adolescence never ends, you just give up on it. 430 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,640 - Here's to tomatifying! - Tomatifying! 431 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,920 Holy shit! Holy shit! 432 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,560 We were so pathetic, acting like teenagers… 433 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,200 You’re old! 434 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:02,280 Excuse me, Miss, would you like me to buy you a drink? 435 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:09,840 Pappy... How can I put this? 436 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,640 You're old! 437 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,600 Babe, let me buy you a drink. 438 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,800 Come on! We’re all going to score. We gotta get psyched! 439 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,120 It says here, we’re the prize! 440 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,640 Hook-up tricks. I memorize them. 441 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,160 Women don't scare me. 442 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,680 Juan! You brought a book to score? 443 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,360 It’s OK, guys, we’ll call a taxi and go somewhere else. 444 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,760 - It’s five in the morning. - A taxi? 445 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,760 We were puppets without strings, scarecrows with dicks... 446 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,480 Night trash. 447 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,480 Here’s what I do with five in the morning. 448 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,760 Carlos, look. 449 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:24,520 It was the Titanic. 450 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,320 Luckily I have some experience. 451 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,040 I’d prepared a little help, an insignificant placebo. 452 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,000 We will not sleep alone tonight. 453 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,320 We will not sleep alone tonight, doctor. 454 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,960 No, I don’t do drugs. 455 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:47,680 It’s not a drug, it’s medication, with a prescription. 456 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,720 We will not sleep alone. 457 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,320 We won't sleep alone tonight. 458 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,400 We will not sleep alone. 459 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,840 I’m your doctor, they won’t hurt you. 460 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,960 Carlitos… 461 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,200 - No, no… - Carlitos. 462 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,520 No calling me Carlitos. 463 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,480 Carlitos… 464 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,960 No calling me Carlitos. 465 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,320 We will not sleep alone tonight. 466 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,480 We will not sleep alone! 467 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,800 I have no idea what we took. 468 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,920 I had a blast. Why lie? 469 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,880 I don’t know how, but we ended up at the hotel. 470 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,040 Turn round. 471 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:56,680 I swear by all worldly pleasures, all the vices and all the booze… 472 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:01,080 I swear by all worldly pleasures, all the vices and all the booze… 473 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,160 that we’ll always be friends 474 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,440 no matter what happens 475 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,160 ...even if it’s bad. 476 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,800 Amen! 477 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,200 You OK, kid? 478 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,760 I'm just happy... 479 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,400 The fact is, methamphetamine is a little deceptive. 480 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,920 When you think it's wearing off... 481 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,520 Fire, fire! 482 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,240 No fire! There’s no fire! 483 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,400 We overdid it with the drugs... 484 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,040 Carlos, dude, Carlos, wake up… 485 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,920 It’s Juan… He’s not moving… 486 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:23,800 Dude… 487 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,720 He’s dead, no doubt about it. 488 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:30,400 What? 489 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:32,880 Go fuck yourselves, 490 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:34,160 he’s got a boner. 491 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:35,800 Rigor mortis! 492 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,320 Rigor mortis… 493 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,520 He’s dead, OK? 494 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,240 Gonna call an ambulance…. 495 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,640 - What are you doing? - An ambulance! 496 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,440 You killed him! 497 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,360 You killed him! 498 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,520 Silence! 499 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,360 If you call an ambulance, they take him, 500 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,320 his wife finds out he wasn't on a course, 501 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,120 - and they’ll rumble him. - And rumble us too. 502 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,600 Because his wife is friends with your wife, 503 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,320 who's friends with your wife, who's friends with my wife! 504 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,000 - Very dangerous. - What do we do? 505 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,400 Take off the robe! 506 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,080 Lift his leg first! 507 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,600 Stop, stop, stop! 508 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,600 This is… 509 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,800 This is horrible. 510 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,680 You motherfuckers! Fuck every single one of you, assholes! 511 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:24,640 Who put me in here? 512 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,880 I'm claustrophobic! You put me in the trunk! 513 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,320 And who dressed me up like the fat bad guy in Ghandi? 514 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,440 Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck every single one of you. 515 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,760 I’ve had it up to here with this place, fuck this! 516 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:42,120 - Juan! - Fuck you all, and your mothers! 517 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,760 Well, maybe he wasn’t dead. That’s another option. 518 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,760 Hangover… 519 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:06,640 A killer… 520 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:15,760 This isn’t tomatifying. 521 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,720 To tomatify 100% you have to hook up. 522 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,840 Bunch of morons. 523 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,520 Silence, please. Silence. 524 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,080 Please, make this hell stop. 525 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,680 It’s your wife, calling the hotel phone. 526 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,040 What do I do? 527 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,640 Call her in 5 minutes from your cell. 528 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:43,400 I don’t get it. 529 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,000 She called the number from the info pack. 530 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,600 She’ll get the machine. You just play dumb, that's all. 531 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,040 That’s right. 532 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,560 Wait a second. You’re going to call with that voice? 533 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,520 It’s my wife. What do I do? 534 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,320 Whatever, just answer it. 535 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,400 The first time in 5 years I haven’t picked up. 536 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,040 Oh God... 537 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,160 Please, just answer it. 538 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:15,760 What do I do? 539 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,480 Answer it, please, for the love of Christ. 540 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,200 Say you’re in class, whisper, say you’re in class! 541 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,720 Hi, Pookie Bear. How are you? 542 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,760 Yeah, I’m in the middle of a class. 543 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,960 I can’t talk right now. I’ll call you later, OK? 544 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:43,560 What? 545 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,760 Yes, of course I care about your mother... 546 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,040 Just a second... 547 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,560 Jesus… 548 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,480 Yeah, yeah. But I’m in class. 549 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,520 I’ll call you when it’s over. Big kiss. 550 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,719 - You OK? - No. 551 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,239 - Did she get mad? - I dunno, I guess. 552 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,440 Turn off the fucking phones. 553 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,800 In terms of scoring... 554 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,400 No. We didn’t get to first base. 555 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,760 Whoa. Total failure. 556 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,239 My clothes were filthy. I nearly got caught. 557 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,080 I had to put on a wash. In secret. 558 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,920 It wasn’t what you’d call a success… 559 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,520 We were too old to be fooling around. 560 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,840 I decided to forget it all, just drop it... 561 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,800 You couldn’t say we didn’t try. 562 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,160 …and go back to therapy, there was no other choice. 563 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,960 We had to go on with our lives, that was the truth. 564 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,200 I told myself it could work. It had to work. 565 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:26,720 Rome wasn’t built in a day. 566 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,760 Most of all, we had to learn to score. 567 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,920 Want me to show you where it all happened? 568 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,360 Yeah? Really? Let’s go. 569 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,800 Come on. 570 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,680 Ready? We needed somewhere to meet, 571 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,360 where we could be free, where we could be ourselves. 572 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,000 I had just the place. 573 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:53,120 We’re on the outskirts of Barcelona, impossible to find without GPS. 574 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,400 This is where the plan entered the next phase. 575 00:35:58,520 --> 00:35:59,560 The gym. 576 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,480 You could tell you wife you were going to the gym 577 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,880 without feeling guilty, 'cause it was true: 578 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,880 it was a gym. 579 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,960 Not that way, this way. 580 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,120 We went in the back door so as not to attract attention. 581 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,000 Come in. 582 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,800 The only difference was instead of doing a few reps, 583 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,800 you had a few drinks! 584 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,520 That’s when someone said the word... 585 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,000 “Club”! 586 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:35,600 We had a place to meet and we hired the author of the book. 587 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,760 It cost a fortune. But it was the ultimate investment. 588 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,480 Hi, I’m Juan Ruiz. 589 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,200 Everybody knows me as... “The Teacher.” 590 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,040 I’ll tell you a story: I was 14 and I was ugly. 591 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:55,120 I had huge ears, pimples... 592 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,080 When I was 21 and I had never kissed a woman. 593 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,760 I decided to change and that’s up to you. 594 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,840 He convinced us all right away. 595 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,480 I went to the U.S.A. and learned from the best. 596 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,480 I became a... “self-made man.” 597 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,680 My first impression was... 598 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,560 this punk is going to teach me to pick up chicks? Me? 599 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,200 Dandruff, fingernails, pimples... 600 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,480 They looked like blocked men, and women don't want that. 601 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,480 The first thing I told them was 602 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,240 “unblock yourself.” 603 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,120 Bam! He was the master, he was always on target. 604 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,120 I gave them classes, 605 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,680 but it was such an extreme case of unmanliness 606 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,680 I decided it was time for action. 607 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:38,080 We weren’t sure where to go out next. 608 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,000 I wanted to find the best place for scoring in Spain. 609 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,000 They called it the “S Factor.” 610 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,000 We compared data from every city. 611 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,280 Number of female inhabitants, single girls, couples, 612 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,320 infidelity statistics, sales in sex shops, everything. 613 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,960 And ahead of Madrid, Marbella, Ibiza... 614 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:58,840 Lleida. 615 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,120 I told my cousin Jordi. 616 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,840 Hi, I'm Jordi. I’m 30, 617 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,520 and I work making photo depilation needles. 618 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,920 Naturally… he wanted to come. 619 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:20,000 I don’t have a girlfriend and I’ve never had one. 620 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,280 Well, only David knows this. My cousin 621 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,040 I hid it from the guys in the club because… 622 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,840 I wanted them to accept me. 623 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,800 There were too many for the car, so we rented a minivan. 624 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,760 On the edge of right... 625 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,600 On the edge of right! 626 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,200 What are you doing? 627 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,760 I didn’t want them to score in the usual places, like a pub 628 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,240 a club, a disco full of teenagers... 629 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,440 No. I did my research and I put them in a hotel 630 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,040 where there was a hair and make-up convention. 631 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,400 Who did that? 632 00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,200 “The Teacher.” 633 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,920 The teacher was a little weird. 634 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,720 He kept speaking in English, 635 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,520 but you could tell he was from Jaén. 636 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,600 Stop now! 637 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,960 OK, this is important. 638 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:13,280 The honor code. 639 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,200 The honor code? 640 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,840 Women don’t scare me. Repeat. 641 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,440 Women don’t scare me. 642 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,920 Motherfucker up shit! What's the biggest seduction mistake? 643 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:26,680 Being trigger-happy. 644 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:27,600 Trigger-happy? 645 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,360 Fear, because when you’re afraid you feel inferior. 646 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,720 - Guys, we studied this. - Yeah, right. 647 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,800 What does a woman want? A brave man. 648 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:37,480 Women don’t scare me. 649 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,400 Women don’t scare me. 650 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,120 Women don’t scare me. 651 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,160 Women don’t scare me. 652 00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:46,360 Are we men or aren't we? Women don’t scare me! 653 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,920 Women don’t scare me! 654 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,240 We crashed some kind of seminar. 655 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,360 A make-up artist convention. 656 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,480 The logic is so devastating. It’s genius. 657 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,520 My students were put to the test. 658 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,200 They were going to be soldiers of Venus. 659 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,720 It was crawling with women. 660 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:19,520 I mean, crawling with women! 661 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,560 We could have died. 662 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,880 I taught them one of my favorite rules: 663 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,840 the Three Second Rule. 664 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,120 You make eye contact with a woman, you're ready to talk. 665 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:36,440 You clench your fists, you count “one, two, three”... 666 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,320 You talk to her. 667 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:40,880 If you delay, 668 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,400 you're a Peeping Tom and women want decisiveness, 669 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,240 a man who knows what he wants. 670 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,560 Hey, gorgeous. Having a good night? 671 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,520 Great. I'm here with my partner. 672 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,280 One. Two. Three. 673 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:01,720 Go. 674 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:04,960 Hi. 675 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,520 Hi. 676 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,000 Are you guys with a company? 677 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,440 - We make face cream. - "Creamsinc". 678 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,480 What brand? 679 00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,480 Creams Inc. "Creamsinc." 680 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:32,720 - If I’m bothering you, just say. - No, it's fine. Great. 681 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,320 What a pleasure. This is... great. 682 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:36,840 - Hi! - Hi! 683 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,400 Having a good time? 684 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,600 Yes, we were just about to order a drink. 685 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,080 Oh really! 686 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,760 Let's get that drink. 687 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,280 Some people fail and pull out of the game, but no. 688 00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,480 When you fail, you’re learning. 689 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,040 You son of a bitch, "Creamsinc"? 690 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,520 I'm sorry, I couldn’t help it, I swear. 691 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,680 - What are you doing? - I'm growing, 692 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,960 Every failure helps me grow. 693 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,040 I’m learning! I’m learning, dammit! 694 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,120 Godammit, I'm learning! 695 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,240 I love you! 696 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,320 To attack a girl, never attack head on, 697 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,720 without an escape route. 698 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,800 Use the crab technique. 699 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,200 The Crab. 700 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,200 Approach her as if you’re leaving, 701 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,600 like it was nothing. 702 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,000 Your feet never point at the target. 703 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,280 Hi... you’re a very pretty girl. 704 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,120 If the target ignores you, 705 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:34,600 radically change tack. 706 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,000 And keep acting like nothing is happening. 707 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,720 I got distracted, Iooking the other way. Hey! 708 00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,840 It's an ancient technique. 709 00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,920 You approach without being seen, 710 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000 it’s part of the magic of seduction. 711 00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,440 Don’t look desperate. 712 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,840 Don’t show your hunger, 713 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,080 don't show you're out to score. 714 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,760 Did you want anything? 715 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,560 Should I want something? 716 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:05,880 You have to ask questions. 717 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:08,960 We all like talking about ourselves. 718 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,280 Ask and listen, ask and listen. 719 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,160 You swap ideas with colleagues... 720 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,600 And you’re here for…? 721 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,800 -...the make-up. -Of course! 722 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:23,160 - Me too - You too? 723 00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:24,240 - You work in make-up? 724 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,160 - Eyelashes. 725 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:31,480 So, women... The principle of... 726 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,000 Oh fuck, I messed up... 727 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,000 Ask, ask, ask. 728 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:39,680 You’re not from here, right? 729 00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:40,960 What’s the objective? 730 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,720 To find that person’s hidden dream. 731 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:45,920 What I want most? 732 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,720 - Most in the world. - What a question! 733 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:48,840 What a question... 734 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:50,880 What do you like most? 735 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:52,840 Do you know? 736 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,920 More or less, I’m looking! 737 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:56,720 Well me too! 738 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,360 We're looking for the same thing, right? 739 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:00,840 Nice, something in common! 740 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,440 My real passion is singing. 741 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,600 How about singing something for me? 742 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,200 I love sculpting with clay. 743 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,120 How wonderful! 744 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,000 And suddenly, being yourselves, 745 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,920 and finding their hidden dream... 746 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,480 More, a little more. 747 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,320 Without realizing, it's endless seduction. 748 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,400 - Hi. - Hi. 749 00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:07,440 It's the most difficult part of the night. 750 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:09,240 The kiss. 751 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:11,720 I should be going. 752 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,720 Never ask for a kiss. That’s for clowns. 753 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,560 There’s a foolproof trick, which is to look into her eyes 754 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,080 and tell her... 755 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,280 I’m going to kiss you. 756 00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,160 Count to three in your head. 757 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:29,040 Move closer... 758 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,680 Kiss her gently. 759 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:56,920 I was kissing her. 760 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:01,120 I picked up a foreign girl, it was the best night of my life. 761 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,520 It was incredible. 762 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,080 Foreign chicks, hard dicks. I dunno. 763 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,040 Oh my God! I was so proud of them... 764 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:11,160 He unblocked us. 765 00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:12,640 Almost everyone. 766 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,960 Juan wanted to score so badly, but he was so bad at it. 767 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,280 It’s like I’m stuck at a castrated developmental stage 768 00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,960 and somehow I can’t... finish the job. 769 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,720 Charly didn't want to hook up. 770 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,520 He wouldn’t or he couldn’t. 771 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:32,760 His head was in a mess, 772 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,520 and to score you have to free your mind, 773 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,680 because you have to trust yourself. 774 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,120 Give me a close-up on the next line, please. 775 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,040 Closer, the eyes, the eyes. 776 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,600 "Trust yourself." 777 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,000 Being unfaithful... is really weird. 778 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,560 Worse than punching your dad. 779 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,360 But suddenly you get home 780 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,320 and you see your wife in a new light. 781 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,440 When you compare your wife to a fantasy, the fantasy wins 782 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,320 because it’s perfect. 783 00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,760 But when the fantasy becomes reality, it’s not so fantastic: 784 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,280 your wife is fantastic. 785 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:12,160 It was like taking your head out of the water and saying, "Damn!" 786 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,240 I can breathe so much better. 787 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:20,160 The desire was back. I called it... 788 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,320 “The Force.” 789 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:25,800 You feed your ego. 790 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,800 Someone finds you attractive. 791 00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,200 You dared to have an adventure. 792 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,520 Money attracts money, sex attracts sex. 793 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,040 It worked. 794 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:35,920 It worked like a charm. 795 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:37,400 I made love to my wife. 796 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,880 No faking, it was real. 797 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,600 We were getting in so much shit. 798 00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,720 I didn’t want to go out with them. 799 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,760 They were troublemakers and I had enough trouble already. 800 00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,160 Christians invented guilt, with all the cross business. 801 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,840 I came home with the cross, the nails and the crown of thorns. 802 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,880 Yes! How could I not feel guilty? Of course I felt guilty. 803 00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,240 Of course I felt guilty! What am I, an animal? Sure I did! 804 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,840 I saw my wife and I felt bad, but that’s the price you pay, right? 805 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,800 Don’t ask again, that's all I'm saying. 806 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:11,400 Hands off! 807 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,040 That cost money! For God's sake... 808 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,520 I said to hell with it, it’s finished. 809 00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,600 Why obsess over it? I didn’t want to cheat on her. 810 00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,320 Besides, sex isn’t that important for a couple. 811 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,440 That was the best part, we decided to go big. 812 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,640 The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club. 813 00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:38,080 “Nice” because we were doing it for a good cause: 814 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,640 to save our marriages. 815 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,880 Well, it made sense at the time. 816 00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,120 We soon realized the power of the force wouldn’t last. 817 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:55,960 That was a problem. 818 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,040 It would be the most perfect club in the world. 819 00:48:59,120 --> 00:48:59,960 Invest in R&D. 820 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,360 Learn from our mistakes. 821 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,800 We started sending encrypted emails, written with symbols 822 00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:09,640 so when you change the font: Presto! The message appeared. 823 00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:13,600 Encrypted messages? They were like goddam Boy Scouts. 824 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,520 The lockers were here. 825 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,240 We’d leave our briefcases, and rings, very important. 826 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,800 We had the machines here, for washing clothes, 827 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,800 so we didn’t go home smelling of booze. 828 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,160 But the best thing was this: 829 00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:27,440 the foosball table was here. 830 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,400 Everybody wanted to join, so we accepted new members. 831 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,480 My name is Javier and I’m 8. 832 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:34,960 My name is Abel and I’m 10. 833 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:35,840 I’m 2. 834 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:36,760 4 months. 835 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:37,680 10 years. 836 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:38,560 39 years. 837 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,720 45 years. 838 00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:40,640 5 years. 839 00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:41,560 2 months. 840 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,560 Your age in the club is how long you’ve been married. 841 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,640 We set up a small switchboard. 842 00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:48,520 Dancing classes. 843 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,600 Merengue, bachata, cha-cha-cha, tango... 844 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,440 We bought a computer, printers, one of those binding machines... 845 00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,520 We made up custom courses for each of us. 846 00:49:57,800 --> 00:49:59,920 Some members prepared nights out, 847 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,800 others found the conventions with most women. 848 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,800 I handled psychological issues. 849 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,440 Some got depressed at first, or became euphoric. 850 00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,280 I was in charge of creating good vibes. 851 00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,800 There was even a team who bought gifts and wrapped them 852 00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,600 so when we went home 853 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,560 we could give our wives a gift from the place we’d supposedly been. 854 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,920 I handled alcohol and drugs, of course. I’m a psychiatrist. 855 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,880 We were like one big family. 856 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,600 I created a website 857 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:28,960 The Jewelry Club dot com. 858 00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:32,360 Click the ring, enter your password and you’re in the club. 859 00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,960 You could check anything you wanted, chat with members, 860 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,960 and an exit button, if you got caught! 861 00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,800 Straight back to the jewelry. 862 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:43,480 We had our married life and our player life. We had it all. 863 00:50:43,720 --> 00:50:45,880 It wasn’t just about women. 864 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:50,160 We had friends, we had adventures, 865 00:50:50,240 --> 00:50:54,560 we had got back... that zest for life. 866 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,320 Check out this awesome pic. 867 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,640 My cousin Jordi, Marcos. 868 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:08,400 That’s me goofing off. 869 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,720 Juan, the doctor... 870 00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,400 What a sign up! The doctor, damn. 871 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,480 We went out once a month, never to the same place. 872 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,960 We followed David’s selection criteria.. 873 00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,040 And somehow we reached our tenth night out. 874 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:35,640 We had to celebrate in style. 875 00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,320 Picking a destination was easy. 876 00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,360 Obviously... Lleida. 877 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,800 What’s in Lleida? Nothing. 878 00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,160 So people just fuck, fuck, fuck. 879 00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,920 All day long, wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. 880 00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,240 Boo-ya, boo-ya! I love it. 881 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,280 They kept calling me, sending emails... 882 00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:59,200 I wanted to share it, I wanted him to see what we'd built. 883 00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,680 He was there from the beginning. 884 00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,200 I told David I was really happy with my wife. 885 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:06,800 He was lying his ass off. 886 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,560 And that I would never, ever go back, 887 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,280 never-ever-ever, nothing they could do. 888 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,880 - So did you go? - Yes, in the end I did. 889 00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:53,760 - Viagra. - Viagra. 890 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:05,560 Unbelievable. 891 00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,440 Maybe there were too many of us. 892 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,080 Tomatify! 893 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,200 Tomatify! 894 00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,520 We were on fire, we went all out. 895 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,440 Who's read the Jack London novel, "The Call of the Wild"? 896 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,480 It's about a dog named Buck 897 00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:25,720 who was led to believe he was a tame house dog. 898 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,800 But he wasn’t, not really. 899 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:32,320 No, doctor. He was really... a wolf. 900 00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:42,320 There are five rules in this club. 901 00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,440 Five rules. 902 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,200 You have to memorize them all, OK? Right. 903 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:48,520 The first rule is... 904 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:57,600 This is important, OK? 905 00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,120 First rule of the club, first rule: 906 00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:03,440 We only accept married men. 907 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,120 Second club rule: 908 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,520 No hooking up outside the club. 909 00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:09,760 No, never! 910 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:11,800 Third club rule: 911 00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,800 Falling in love with other women is not allowed. 912 00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:17,440 Never! No! 913 00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:19,520 Fourth club rule: 914 00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:21,520 We don't pay for sex. 915 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:26,400 We’re not killers! We’re hunters. 916 00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,600 And the fifth and most important: 917 00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,800 None of you are here. Not even Carlos is here. The club… 918 00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:36,560 does not exist. 919 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,040 Let’s go! 920 00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,320 Start the bus, Antonio. Start it up, we’re on our way! 921 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,200 Tomatify! 922 00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,120 Carlos and Juan were our unfinished business. 923 00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:00,240 They needed help. 924 00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:01,920 They were all watching me, 925 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:04,920 as if my success was their success. 926 00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:20,840 Tonight's the night. 927 00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:22,560 See that, Carlitos? 928 00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,160 Did you see that? 929 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,280 Doesn’t it give you butterflies in your stomach? 930 00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,240 Give me some space, OK? 931 00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:31,440 Hey, Carlos. 932 00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:58,360 There’s Carlos! 933 00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,040 It's wall-to-wall pussy! 934 00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,480 - I'm not upset. - Who are you mad at? 935 00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:07,440 - No-one. - What is it? 936 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:09,440 - Nothing! - What's wrong, you can tell me! 937 00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,280 Hi, how’s it going? 938 00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:15,120 Oh wow, pussy. 939 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:16,920 Cheers! 940 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:24,480 I like it, I like it. 941 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:36,440 What the hell are you doing? 942 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:37,640 What? 943 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:39,640 What do you mean, what? 944 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,400 Juan having a ball! He's right there.... 945 00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,240 He's there! 946 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:45,880 He's up there! 947 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,040 Don’t touch me, David, don’t touch me, damn it. 948 00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:49,360 Just a little push. 949 00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,640 It's just a push. 950 00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:51,720 Are they hookers? 951 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:52,840 Well... No! 952 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:53,960 They’re hookers... 953 00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,360 They're ladies of the night. 954 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:56,560 They’re just... 955 00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,960 What the fuck were the rules for? 956 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,480 What was the fucking point? 957 00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,240 They weren’t rules, they were... advice. 958 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:11,360 Tonight we “tomatify” and scorify! 959 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:18,280 No. Not mine. Mine wasn’t a prostitute. 960 00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,360 Poor Juan. 961 00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,000 He really thought he had scored. 962 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:27,800 Was she a prostitute? 963 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,000 I don’t think it’s so bad. 964 00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:32,440 I realized I’d made another mistake. 965 00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,320 I said to hell with it all, and left. 966 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:37,240 But first, I look to my right and see Marcos 967 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:38,880 sucking some chick’s face, 968 00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,600 the same chick he met our first time in Lleida. 969 00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,120 Yeah, we knew, but.... 970 00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,840 He looked so in love... 971 00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,800 No, I wasn't in love at all. 972 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:55,440 Not yet. 973 00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,360 Falling in love wasn’t allowed? 974 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:00,960 I had no idea. 975 00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:04,920 I didn’t know that rule. 976 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,320 There was only one rule really: the club doesn’t exist. 977 00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,960 On the way back to the hotel I felt sad, lonely, stressed... 978 00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:16,240 things were bad with Silvia, the club wasn’t for me, I was screwed. 979 00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,880 So I went to the cocktail bar at the hotel 980 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,480 on the verge of a breakdown. 981 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,000 A glass of water, please. 982 00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:29,000 The pain in my chest was unbearable. And suddenly... 983 00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:30,560 Isn’t that too much? 984 00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,760 No, it’s normal, it’s what my doctor recommends. 985 00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:37,160 Breathe, breathe! 986 00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,920 I’ve got it, I’ve got it. Are you OK? 987 00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,000 Yeah, thanks, thanks. 988 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:49,160 You’re in a bad way. 989 00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:50,680 You're not OK. 990 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,000 I just need to... 991 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,600 And we just started talking. 992 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,120 I took the teacher’s advice: I listened. 993 00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,000 and I really liked her. 994 00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:06,520 She was gorgeous. And I hadn’t felt anything in so long... 995 00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:10,200 And then I started feeling 996 00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:13,000 this overwhelming urge to kiss her. 997 00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,080 And a part of me was saying: “Kiss her.” 998 00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,320 "Come on, for Christ's sake, kiss her!" 999 00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:19,240 It was insane. 1000 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:22,160 She invited me up to her room. 1001 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,440 And... I couldn’t say no. 1002 00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:31,280 Hey, it’s much later than I thought. 1003 00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:33,160 - I think I should... - It's late, come in. 1004 00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:34,960 Does room service have Rivotril? 1005 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:35,760 I’m sure they do. 1006 00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,880 We reached the door, she took out her card, 1007 00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,560 opened the door, 1008 00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,960 I said I should go, but she pulled me inside. 1009 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,760 She let her hair down and tried to kiss me... 1010 00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:48,200 I told her I couldn’t, and left. 1011 01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:45,760 I came away feeling bad. 1012 01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:47,920 I had a good time but I felt bad. 1013 01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,920 We saw him leaving someone else’s room, we’d done it. 1014 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:52,360 He was in a state of shock. 1015 01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,240 I gave him 2 Rohypnols but he wouldn't take them. 1016 01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:57,000 We were all happy for him. 1017 01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:30,120 We got to Barcelona, I said goodbye to my friends. 1018 01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,480 I didn’t want to tell them anything, and suddenly... 1019 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:34,960 I felt like… 1020 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,240 ...like... 1021 01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:39,520 “The force.” 1022 01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:40,320 The ego. 1023 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:41,760 Alternating current. 1024 01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:45,520 Like shit. 1025 01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:49,360 I got home, Silvia was asleep. 1026 01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:52,080 She looked like an angel... 1027 01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,040 And I had the feeling of having a sign saying: 1028 01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:57,800 I have been unfaithful to you. 1029 01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,040 I was at home when it happened. 1030 01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:01,280 The shit storm began. 1031 01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,480 Right when I was about to get in bed... 1032 01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:07,560 Boom, my phone rings. 1033 01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:09,040 It was David. 1034 01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:11,320 I used club invoices as a tax deduction. 1035 01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:13,160 That cost us dearly. 1036 01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,600 A hotel sent a bill to my house and my wife gets suspicious 1037 01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:18,600 checks my wallet, my clothes... 1038 01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:20,680 finds nothing goes down to the car. 1039 01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,840 She checks the addresses on the GPS and there's one she doesn’t know. 1040 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,640 He called me in a panic saying his wife was heading to the club. 1041 01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,040 We had to stop her. 1042 01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,160 Juan checks the map, Carlos lived closest. 1043 01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,560 I felt like crying, I wanted to kill them. 1044 01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:37,840 He had to leave immediately. 1045 01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,920 I told Silvia my boss was locked in the office and I ran. 1046 01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:43,600 His wife took the coast road. 1047 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,280 He had to go via the center 1048 01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:47,840 take exit 7, and he'd gain 5 minutes. 1049 01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:52,320 Finally I got into the club. I threw everything out the window: 1050 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,040 the packs, the printers, the photos from the trips. 1051 01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:56,720 Here in the sun visor. 1052 01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,400 That’s how my wife found the keys. 1053 01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:02,240 In one room I hid the foosball, the plasma screen, the videogames. 1054 01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:06,720 My wife got here, tried the door, it opened and she walked in. 1055 01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:08,680 I heard someone come in. 1056 01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,760 I was calling her but she wouldn’t pick up. 1057 01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:11,720 I went like this. 1058 01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:16,640 And I hid under the table, like a cockroach. 1059 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:18,440 Carlos was hiding in there. 1060 01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,720 Suddenly I see her looking in the wastebaskets 1061 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:23,120 getting closer to this one. 1062 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,280 My wife was getting closer to where Carlos was hiding. 1063 01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,480 Like Jaws, you know? 1064 01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:31,320 She would see me! 1065 01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:34,320 I was about to die. 1066 01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:36,040 She looks in the basket. 1067 01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,680 And at that moment… 1068 01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:39,320 She looks in the basket… 1069 01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:41,760 Her phone rings. 1070 01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:44,520 And it was David. 1071 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:45,840 That was it. 1072 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,240 We could have died… 1073 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:50,720 She apologized. 1074 01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:53,560 She hung up, started crying 1075 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,120 ...and she left. 1076 01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:07,720 So I got home, 1077 01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:09,960 Silvia was asleep. 1078 01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:17,960 I wanted to hug her so much. I was so scared of losing her. 1079 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,920 So I started stroking her 1080 01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:26,680 and I noticed she was uncomfortable, it wasn’t working. 1081 01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:27,920 And at that moment, 1082 01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:31,800 I realized she knew everything. 1083 01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,560 She said she was tired, she needed to sleep… 1084 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,960 and it took me hours to get to sleep 1085 01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:42,480 and next day when I opened my eyes 1086 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:46,480 I found her sitting on the edge of the bed. 1087 01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:50,680 And, feeling terrified, 1088 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,440 I asked her what was wrong. 1089 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,000 Then she turned away. 1090 01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:01,960 She couldn’t even look me in the face. 1091 01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:05,320 She said she had to talk and … 1092 01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:08,480 and she said... 1093 01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,920 She said she’d been cheating on me for 3 months. 1094 01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:20,920 Carlos called, he had something important to tell me. 1095 01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:24,120 I couldn't understand it. 1096 01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,360 I was cheating on her, not her on me. 1097 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:27,680 I was so jealous, 1098 01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,480 but I couldn’t be mad at her 1099 01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,080 because I was cheating on her. 1100 01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:32,640 But I was very pissed off. 1101 01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,160 I went to see David because I had to talk. 1102 01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:39,360 David gave me this weird address I’d never been to in my life. 1103 01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:45,160 Password. 1104 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:46,640 What? 1105 01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:47,680 Password. 1106 01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:52,160 Come on. 1107 01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:55,560 Come in, Carlitos, it’s a joke. The club doesn’t exist. Come on. 1108 01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:57,640 Come in man, come in. 1109 01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:28,920 David? 1110 01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:50,080 Bravo! 1111 01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:53,200 Carlitos, I love you. 1112 01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:55,520 OK, OK! 1113 01:07:56,600 --> 01:07:57,480 OK. 1114 01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,600 It's good manners to say thank you, right Carlos? 1115 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:02,320 All the members of the club 1116 01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:05,000 want to thank you for what you did last night. 1117 01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,240 Your courage saved the club! 1118 01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:15,720 OK, OK. 1119 01:08:17,399 --> 01:08:21,000 We’ve decided to give you a year's free membership, and... 1120 01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:24,520 a commemorative medal: Honorary Member of the Club. 1121 01:08:28,399 --> 01:08:30,760 Speech, speech! 1122 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,359 No speeches, no speeches. 1123 01:08:36,439 --> 01:08:38,840 Carlos has always been a man of few words. 1124 01:08:41,359 --> 01:08:44,479 OK, alright. I'll speak. 1125 01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:50,880 I... 1126 01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:54,479 can't.... 1127 01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:56,880 I can't accept this medal. 1128 01:08:57,319 --> 01:08:59,279 - But thank you. - Carlos... 1129 01:08:59,399 --> 01:09:01,399 Look, David. I told you I wanted to talk. 1130 01:09:01,479 --> 01:09:02,279 What’s wrong? 1131 01:09:02,359 --> 01:09:04,359 The problem is, it doesn’t work. 1132 01:09:04,439 --> 01:09:07,680 Don’t you realize this is bullshit? The club is bullshit. 1133 01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:08,600 Let me speak! 1134 01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:11,520 Don't touch me! Don’t touch me! I want to speak! 1135 01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:13,040 - Dammit! - Let him speak! 1136 01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:19,800 It works for you because you’re not in love with your wives. 1137 01:09:20,319 --> 01:09:23,560 Sure David, but no. Don’t look at me like that. 1138 01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:25,520 Why did you get married? 1139 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:26,720 I was in love. 1140 01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,120 In love? You can't stand limits. 1141 01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:31,359 And look at you now, who are you? 1142 01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:33,880 King of the Unfaithful Husbands. 1143 01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:36,479 Do you like what you see? 1144 01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,399 What about you, Marcos? 1145 01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,120 You don't love your wife, you hate her, 1146 01:09:41,279 --> 01:09:44,880 You married her because your family pressured you to do it. 1147 01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:45,920 You don't love her. 1148 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,560 You fell in love with another woman! 1149 01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:48,439 No, no... 1150 01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:50,200 Yes, Marcos! As for you Juan... 1151 01:09:51,359 --> 01:09:53,880 I can’t believe you did this to your wife! 1152 01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:55,680 Why did you do it? 1153 01:09:58,240 --> 01:09:59,960 Because the rest of us did? 1154 01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:02,360 And you, doctor... 1155 01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:07,760 You’re not tired of your wife, you’re tired of yourself. 1156 01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:09,840 Take my advice: see a psychiatrist. 1157 01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:14,400 We came up with a fucking great plan. 1158 01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,760 But our wives aren’t included. Awesome. 1159 01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:18,920 Such bullshit. 1160 01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:22,440 The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club. 1161 01:10:24,440 --> 01:10:27,880 Such crap! There are guys here who don’t even have girlfriends. 1162 01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:32,360 All those bullshit rules you made up. 1163 01:10:33,440 --> 01:10:35,240 What if our wives did the same? 1164 01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:37,680 Would they be “nice” too? 1165 01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:43,680 Goodbye. 1166 01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:45,120 Carlos, Carlos! 1167 01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,520 He’s not thinking straight, he’s on edge. 1168 01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:54,360 Bam! 1169 01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:57,880 Reality check... 1170 01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,440 It was terrible, terrible. 1171 01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:03,080 He was really mad. 1172 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:06,240 Yup. 1173 01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:13,040 I came out feeling devastated, but I knew what I had to do, 1174 01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:15,800 so I got home with one idea in my head. 1175 01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:17,360 We were a tight bunch. 1176 01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:20,400 Strong, solid. 1177 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:24,000 When I got in Silvia was in the dining room, very upset. 1178 01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:29,200 And it was hard, but I told her to listen... 1179 01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:31,880 I told her everything. 1180 01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:35,560 The club, the nights out, 1181 01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:37,960 the girl in Lleida. 1182 01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,400 It was horrible. Horrible. 1183 01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,000 We didn't realize... 1184 01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:55,720 but Carlos had broken the only rule, the main rule. 1185 01:11:56,280 --> 01:11:59,000 The club doesn’t exist. 1186 01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:02,600 No, no. Silvia told no-one. No-one. 1187 01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:07,880 Well, yes, she told her best friend, 1188 01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:10,760 but he swore not to tell anyone. 1189 01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:18,160 But he told his girlfriend, and she told another five friends. 1190 01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:20,960 Those five friends told another five, and another five, 1191 01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:23,160 and another five, and another, and so on. 1192 01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:29,000 until it got back to the concierge at David and Ana’s building 1193 01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:33,240 The concierge told the story in incredible detail. 1194 01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:34,880 My wife got suspicious again. 1195 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:38,120 She got in the car and came here. Again. 1196 01:12:41,080 --> 01:12:43,680 Ana was close friends with Ines, my... 1197 01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:46,960 My wife talked to Ines, Marcos’ wife. 1198 01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:50,000 And she told a friend, who told another, and another... 1199 01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:50,880 We were friends! 1200 01:12:50,960 --> 01:12:52,440 They all found out. 1201 01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:54,200 Good things never last. 1202 01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:55,680 We got caught. 1203 01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:56,680 Total crash. 1204 01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:57,760 It was terrible. 1205 01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,240 We raised the risk premium too high. 1206 01:13:01,280 --> 01:13:04,560 Your life is a house of cards. 1207 01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:07,240 One puff and… 1208 01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:09,200 It's gone. 1209 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,560 When I got home my wife was waiting to kill me. 1210 01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,400 43 marriages destroyed, including mine. 1211 01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:18,440 We were dropping like flies and the worst part was... 1212 01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:20,280 we didn’t know what to do. 1213 01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:22,080 My goddess left. 1214 01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:25,800 I’d never seen her look so sad, 1215 01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:28,960 and it was my fault. 1216 01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:32,160 Can we stop for a second? Please? 1217 01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:57,720 The next day, 1218 01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,320 when I finished work here. 1219 01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:02,920 Right here. 1220 01:14:03,400 --> 01:14:06,440 I tidied up and I was heading home and... 1221 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:12,640 Wow... 1222 01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:17,960 Not even a professional like myself could have seen it coming. 1223 01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:20,360 When we found out, it was too late. 1224 01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:23,440 My phone was ringing but I was welding, 1225 01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:25,520 with the machines going. 1226 01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:28,280 I didn’t realise they were going to... 1227 01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:33,400 Carlos? Where’s Carlos? 1228 01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:42,400 They went berserk. 1229 01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:45,960 They were crazy. Crazy. 1230 01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:27,160 People were possessed by anger and guilt. 1231 01:15:27,320 --> 01:15:28,680 They needed to express it. 1232 01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:30,920 Maybe Carlos messed up, but... 1233 01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:33,240 But kill him? No way. 1234 01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:43,360 I swear by all the worldly pleasures... 1235 01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:45,720 by all the vices and all the booze... 1236 01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:47,960 that we will always be friends... 1237 01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,920 that we will always be friends... 1238 01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:51,960 that we will always be friends... 1239 01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:53,360 no matter what happens... 1240 01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:54,760 even if it’s bad... 1241 01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:56,240 however messed up you get. 1242 01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:57,960 Amen. 1243 01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:37,360 They came to rescue me! Holy shit! 1244 01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:39,840 I’ll never forget it. 1245 01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:44,960 We were angry too, but they wanted to kill him. 1246 01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:48,720 I thought I’d lost my friends,. 1247 01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:51,240 but it was the opposite. 1248 01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:24,320 I had two teeth capped, five stitches, 1249 01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:26,920 one rib still gives me shooting pains, 1250 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:30,600 and swallowing is sometimes a little hard. 1251 01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:32,680 We would have been caught anyway, 1252 01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:34,240 because we'd lost our minds. 1253 01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:36,800 We’re not 10 years old, we’re grown-ups. 1254 01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:39,920 You join a cheaters club, you know what could happen: 1255 01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:41,680 your wife could catch you. 1256 01:17:41,760 --> 01:17:43,720 You have to accept responsibility. 1257 01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:45,720 The End. 1258 01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:48,520 What happened to our wives? 1259 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,800 We had to get them back into our lives. 1260 01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:52,200 We all did what we could. 1261 01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:54,760 It had to come out some day. 1262 01:17:54,840 --> 01:17:58,240 I cheated on the cheaters: I didn’t sleep with that girl. 1263 01:17:59,080 --> 01:17:59,920 I faked it. 1264 01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:02,680 Please, leave me alone, I’m married, 1265 01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:04,040 Didn't you see the ring? 1266 01:18:04,240 --> 01:18:06,120 My wife forgave me on 3 conditions. 1267 01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:08,680 One: that I never do it again. 1268 01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,640 Two: we never talk about it again. 1269 01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:13,200 Three: 1270 01:18:14,480 --> 01:18:15,960 that I see a psychiatrist. 1271 01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:22,760 Here’s to fatty! All of them drinking, toasting! 1272 01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:23,920 It was awesome! 1273 01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:26,840 Well screw them, it was a lie. 1274 01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:30,280 I’m unfaithful, OK? 1275 01:18:30,520 --> 01:18:32,560 I say it straight out: I’m unfaithful. 1276 01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:36,480 No more masks and fronts and covering up. 1277 01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:38,520 What? 1278 01:18:40,200 --> 01:18:43,080 You think it’s funny for a shrink to see a shrink? 1279 01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,200 I want a wife who isn’t jealous, 1280 01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,520 who won’t mind if I sleep with other women 1281 01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:52,400 because I won’t mind if she sleeps with other men. 1282 01:18:52,480 --> 01:18:54,480 After the club, my wife divorced me. 1283 01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,120 I’m not getting married. 1284 01:18:56,240 --> 01:18:57,880 What about Lola? The girl I met... 1285 01:18:57,960 --> 01:18:58,960 ...on the trip? 1286 01:19:00,480 --> 01:19:02,720 When she heard about the club, she left me. 1287 01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:04,120 My wife forgave me. 1288 01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:07,920 She even took me out to one of those clubs. 1289 01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:09,240 a couples club. 1290 01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:11,920 and she said: “From now on, I’ll be your teacher.” 1291 01:19:12,320 --> 01:19:13,200 I’m single now. 1292 01:19:14,120 --> 01:19:17,400 Great men without wives: Gandhi, Jesus Christ, 1293 01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,080 Sherlock Holmes, Tintin... 1294 01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:21,000 Gandalf. 1295 01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,640 I’m meeting people now, on the Internet. 1296 01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:28,040 I uploaded some pics, now I’m waiting. 1297 01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:30,880 Great invention. "Internet." 1298 01:19:31,480 --> 01:19:32,640 Not bad. 1299 01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:36,880 I decided to take the teacher’s advice 1300 01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:38,360 to get her back. 1301 01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:39,440 “The Teacher.” 1302 01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:44,080 So, while she was still with her lover, 1303 01:19:44,920 --> 01:19:46,920 she started cheating on him with me. 1304 01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:50,600 In the end she left him and after our little encounters... 1305 01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:54,120 we’re expecting a baby. 1306 01:19:56,800 --> 01:19:59,880 We turned the record over. Now we're on the B-side. 1307 01:19:59,960 --> 01:20:00,880 My specialty. 1308 01:20:01,520 --> 01:20:02,360 The club? 1309 01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:04,280 What club? 1310 01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:09,960 The club doesn't exist. 1311 01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:37,280 Every woman thought her husband was in the club. 1312 01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:39,520 In their minds the club was a huge thing. 1313 01:22:39,600 --> 01:22:41,600 It sounded so good. 1314 01:22:41,800 --> 01:22:44,760 The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club. 1315 01:22:45,560 --> 01:22:46,600 Like a movie. 1316 01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:49,880 We didn’t fly in a private jet. 1317 01:22:50,520 --> 01:22:52,360 We didn’t hypnotize women. 1318 01:22:52,480 --> 01:22:54,560 There was no initiation rite, 1319 01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:57,640 We didn’t make anyone tattoo the club logo on their penis. 1320 01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:01,640 We didn’t traffic women or deal drugs. 1321 01:23:02,600 --> 01:23:04,280 We didn't have 1000s of members, 1322 01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:07,400 and no way did we sell the franchise in the USA. 1323 01:23:08,280 --> 01:23:10,760 It’s not true Julio Iglesias was our patron. 1324 01:23:13,440 --> 01:23:14,960 Four friends goofing off. 1325 01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:16,920 It’s normal. 1326 01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:21,160 There are tribes where mothers sleep with their sons, 1327 01:23:21,480 --> 01:23:24,480 and it’s fine, the world keeps turning. 1328 01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:28,600 I hope all this gets the truth out there. 96152

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