Original subtitles

Princess, the reasoning for the lack of reason of my reason is so unreasonable

that it is not without reason that I complain of your beauty.

Don Quixote, your soup is ready.

Uncle...

He should be in a madhouse. They'd soon give him all the victories he wanted.

Oh, but he doesn't harm anyone.

- Doesn't harm anyone? - No.

What is he doing to you when he sells all his property piece by piece?

What will you say if he mortgages the house?

Victory! Victory!

And that fool of his, Sancho, even took the horse to town today.

Aw... more books!

Ah, well at least they haven't gotten rid of Rosinate.

I don't know what the poor beast's going to eat now they've sold the last bit of land...

Last bit of land? What do you mean?

Lively, Sancho, make haste!

I'm comin', I'm runin'... Here I am.

What's this I hear?

A madman, do you see? Now he's gone and sold his half acre.

Has he really sold everything to buy books?

Just as I thought! He wouldn't take the horse.

He just took one look at the poor beast, and he said, "That's not a horse, that's a hat rack!"

Of course I may know nothing, but I can't see why you exchange good land,

land you can walk on, land you can grow things on, for old bits of paper!

And what do you get out of it? Better clothes? Better food?

All I can see is it makes you uncomfortable.

Armor clothes me, battles soothe me.

Oh, and by the way, he threw in this old helmet as well, if it is a helmet.

But it has no visor...

Oh, you mean a flap. I'll soon fix that.

Sancho, doesn't your heartache with the injustice of the world?

I can't say I've noticed it up to now.

You shall be my squire and if return I'll make you governor

of the many kingdoms I shall conquer.

Oooh! A island, Master, that's what I want, an island with plenty of good land,

and plenty of good wine on it, and plenty of water'roud it...

To keep out the soldiers and thieves alike.

Ladies and gentlemen, this evening... Big performance, Amadis of Gaul,

Pantomime given by the well known Priaca Players. Tell your friends.

Who do you think you are? Acting all day with your head in the clouds

doesn't put bread into our stomachs, you miserable worm.

You will regret calling me these names when I come back laden with riches,

when I bring you back silks and satins, and a booby crown - er, a ruby crown,

when I'm proprietor of an island, a real island with real water'round it...

...and cows and chickens and pigs...

And doctors examining you? An island with a wall'round it, a madhouse,

that's where you and your Don Quixote will finish up.

Why both of you together have got the brains of a child.

The Sierra Nevada is calling... The night in the mountains is falling...

There's nothing left in the house but old papers. We can't raise money of them.

What will become of Maria and me?

Don't worry Carrasco, something will happen.

- Listen... - I hear singing...

His madness continues even though we've put him to bed.

The Sierra Nevada is calling... The night in the mountains is falling...

Go fight, Don Quixote, the powers of dark, Go fight, Don Quixote, the powers of dark.

For you, my lady divine, for you I will conquer or die.

Oh, is he never going to stop? How many songs does he know?

It's all very well for him to sing. A madman never worries about mortgages and starvation.

It is only the fever... it will pass.

The Sierra Nevada is calling... The night in the mountains is falling...

So fights Don Quixote the powers of dark. Go fight, Don Quixote, the powers of dark.

The princess enters on the stage. Watch her simplicity, her grace...

From Saragossa to the sea, none can deny her right of place, her smiling eyes.

Her lips, her hair; are of a quality beyond compare.

My heart is sad because the giant Melichelad wants the lad of my fair daughter, the princess...

Although I say "the lad" for sooth, 'tis with more modesty than truth.

Each month this same Melicheland of some young virgin takes... her hand.

A hundred knights defied him. The giant ate them up!

Ay, lack! Amadis, knight of Gaul, turned his adveture to do good.

As well becomes a noble knight, he bravely enters every fight.

The battle rages, steel meets steel, passion will wreak defiance.

To whom belongs the victory, the brave knight or the giant?

The maiden's honor trembles, sparks fly from their arms.

Pray to the saints in heaven to save Amadis from all harm.

The giant, now trembling with fear, calls on the enchanter Merlin to appear.

Bravo, Amadis! I am with you, I am on your side. Merlin, defend yourself!

Chico! Open your eyes! There's a battle going on!

Oh, look, a giant with his navel!

Now, my lord Amadis, since I have saved you from the magic spell,

I beg of you to knight me.

That's right, Amadis, make him a knight! Knight him, knight him!

Since the audience is so graciously disposed, we will now knight the famous Don...

Don Quixote de la Mancha.

Don Quixote de la Mancha, I dub thee knight. Swear to obey the laws of our order?

I swear!

Look, Amadis, he's got no feather. Give him yours.

The managemet will go to any sacrifice to please.

Hey, d'you think I pay you to stand around and do nothing, you lazy wench?

How dare you insult a noble lady before a knight and a king?

Hey, what's he say?

Madame, allow me to devote all my life to your service.

And this is the lady of his dreams. He has already fought for this decoration.

Ad what name would you give the lady, sir?

Dulcinea.

This castle new, this new made device, all enriched with marble and forged by molten fire.

This castle blessed by love, from its empire...

Endowed by Heaven and happy artifice.

A fortress against all vice, where virtue is mistress.

And holding sway, entrancig all hearts that they too must say

that for evil to triumph would be tragedy.

Master, our siesta, what about it? We've been on the road since dawn.

A knight never sleeps.

A knight never sleeps. A knight never eats. A knight lives on adventure,

but I'm not a knight. I know, I'm nobody. I know nothing!

Sancho, adventure at last! An army of giants.

Giants? All I can see is mutton.

A knight is never wrong. Harrah! Harrah!

I still say they're sheep.

Stupid! Never will you know the ways of chivalry.

Maybe, but I do know my muttons. Look'ere! Your helmet's in a nice mess!

Oh, my helmet! Take it to the lady of my dreams.

Who is the "lady of my dreams?"

Dulcinea.

Oh, very well, I'll take your helmet to the lady Dulcinea,

but how shall I recognize her house?

Enriched with marble and forged by molten fire.

That's a new one no me. Oh, I remember, yes, the night you sang.

But, how shall I know the lady?

By her virtue.

I see.

Oh, go now, and don't forget... bring back another helmet.

Not a bad looking wench. There, but I shouldn't worry about those sort of things.

Here! Perhaps you can tell me something.

Do you know a princess called Dulcinea?

Dulcinea? Princess? Never heard of her... Oh, of course! I remember!

- That's what Don Quixote called her. - You remember!

- Me? - Yes. There she is.

If that's a princess my brains are going soft, or yours is. Give me a drink, quick.

Sancho! Sancho!

Is there a man here called Don Quixote?

Why yes, sir, he's my ucle.

I have orders to arrest him. Where is he?

Who knows? He disappeared three days ago.

But what do you want with him? Has something happened?

Has anything happened? We accuse one Don Quixote...

...having as accomplice an individual named Sancho Panza, both vagrants...

...is accused of having attacked a flock of sheep.

Hey, what're you doing? Assassin! Thief! He's got my shaving gear!

Well, Sancho, did you find my Dulcinea?

Yes, Master, and she was in the courtyard.

- At court, you mean... - At court, yes, and she was milking a cow.

Oh, you lie, Sancho!

I lie, do I? Perhaps you'll tell me that this helmet is a lie.

Perhaps you'll tell me it looks like a barber's plate.

Sancho! The helmet of Mambrine. How did you win it?

By my bravery, Master. See, in the courtyard at the court...

There was an enormous devil pestering the princess Dulcinea.

- A giant! - A giant, exactly. What did I do?

With my usual bravery I attacked him, I stunned him, I tore a button off his trousers.

Here it is, Master.

Course, he bit a lump out of it, but I couldn't help that.

You exaggerate, Sancho. It is the helmet of Mambrine.

It may please you, Master.

It has surprised me that you, simple squire, should have conquered a giant.

Well, Master, he was only a little giant, well, you know Master...

So I gave him a slosh and I left him.

What are you doing?

Thinking of the good things I could eat today...

Sausages, sausages, chicken, cheese, more sausages... no! A nice duck...

- With thick rich gravy. - Always you think about eating.

Well, can you tell me anything better?

Chivalry.

Yes, I've got chivalry in me head but my stomach craves for food.

Who are those men?

Only prisoners.

Halt!

- Where are you going? - To the galleys.

- What for? - For having loved.

He loved gold which did't belong to him.

To the galleys for love? To me, Sancho!

Oh dear, oh dear... Whose little boy are you?

- What's he in for? Murder? - No, he wrote a book.

- Heretic. Against God? - No, to prove that criminals don't exist.

Order! Oh, Lord love a duck!

- Who are you? - Don Quixote de la Mancha.

- Flowers of chivalr- - Chivalry.

- Essence of good knights- - Knighthood.

- Idiot. - Idiot.

Free these men. God is the only judge.

Yes, all right old man. Now get a move on.

- Sancho! Free these men! - But will he let me?

Go on...

Guards, arrest this fool!

Stop! Listen to me! Gentlemen please... Take your chains to the lady of my dreams.

What is he saying?

He says he wants us to take our chains to his girlfriend.

Our chains? Take them yourself!

Friends, take your chains to my...

Welcome, sir. My house exists for such as you, with aching limbs and hungry appetite.

Oh my lord, I thank you for your gracious welcome into this magnificent castle...

Ah, princess, I'm unworthy of such a honor!

What about a bed for my master, and some food, and...

Ah, silence...

Look what they've done to him, those cursed...

- Magicians. - Magicians.

Have him brought here, this Don Quixote, this relic of the past.

I see no splendor in attacking authority.

- He who attacks the law attacks your grace. - Attacks God!

I swear, your grace, there's nothing bad about him. He's only ill in mind...

Will your grace come to our assistance and help us to end these mad adventures?

One doesn't punish a sick man. One takes care of him!

We will take care of him, so!

No, no, my chief of police. This is a case even beyond your competency.

The man's malady is obscure and requires special treatment.

- Have you got any good wine? - Excellent! From the year the comet fell.

Good wine's good for pilgrims, you know, and I feel very pilgrimish this morning.

- Just exactly what is your profession? - The old man seems to be a little bit...

Oh, our profession... we are knight errants, you know.

We live on inspiration.

But a little change is good now and then, so don't delay, friend.

Knights never eat, knights never sleep. We do great things all day and keep from harm away.

Oh, what a life, without my wife. No matrimonial chain and in the end I gain.

Oh, island sweet, with lots to eat old wine, fresh fowl and steak enough to make you ache!

Worth that be fine, when all that's mine. No hunger and no thirst for King Sancho the First.

This knighthood gane will he'er be tame, rescuing buxom maidens, that's the best of games...

What a delight to be a knight. A chivalric face! Old sheep, we must give praise.

My island sweet with lots to eat old wine, fresh fowl, and steak enough to make you ache.

The evening's fun, if on the run. Poor prisoners we set free, Don Quixote and me.

Do you know a man named Don Quixote?

Never heard of him.

A scarecrow of a man with a lance. Making trouble everywhere.

He must be here! I saw his horse outside.

And he's always with a fat fool whose name is Sancho Panza.

It's not me, sir. Never was me, sir. Never will be me, sir.

Are you trying to be funy with the police?

No, I'm just trying to convince you, sir, that I don't know him.

- What's that? - I don't know this rogue Don Quixote, I swear I don't.

Sir! I beg of you, sir, wake up!

- A knight never sleeps. - They're after you!

- Oh, princess, oh, you must go! - Sir!

I regret, but chastity is the first law of chivalry...

- That's not the question. The police are here. - Police! Then I will defend you, princess.

- Master! The police! - I'm ready for them.

- It's madness to stay here. We must fly! - The police will never dare attack a knight!

You know that, and I know that, but do the police know it?

Maybe you are right.

Let him rest. He has fever. I'll swear to you that he's not a criminal.

- Not a criminal? What do you call it? - I assure you that he's a good man sir.

Go on, get out. Let justice take its course.

Keep it a secret.

Illustrious warrior, Knight of the Mournful Countenance...

In the name of his grace, the Duke of Belanga...

I invite you to follow me to his grace's castle, there to be entertained in company with your squire.

All charm aside, this time I think it really is a castle.

Like all the others, you fool.

I'm going to fill my stomach right up to the ears.

Your greediness makes me disgusted.

Governor of a island, in all his finery! Aren't they going to dress you up, too?

No. I will not forsake my arms. I owe my glory to them.

His grace, the duke, and her grace, the duchess, await you, gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, I beg of you do not give way to laughter.

This is a comedy that must be played seriously. Its success depends on it.

Don Quixote de la Mancha, Knight of the Mournful Countenance, and his squire, Sancho Panza.

'Tis a honor for my court to welcome you, illustrious knight.

We greet with joy Don Quixote and his squire, Sancho Panza.

We have heard of your great deeds.

And what for? To bring a madman to his senses? I'm sure to lose mine in the process.

Oh, and that muzzle! Now is this supposed to fit my head?

Gently, gently... Be careful, will you? Ah, no, leave the glasses!

I am surprised, Sancho, that a man of your intelligence should abandon a loving wife and children...

I search of adventure and the doubtful pleasure of governing an island.

Yes but I must follow my Master, missus. I love him. I belong to him.

As the ivy to the wall, as the roses 'round Mother's door...

As for the island, I'll take a chance on that, as I took a chance with my dear wife.

You know, even a blind chicken can find a grain of seed.

Sancho! I told you before, not to speak in proverbs.

Let him be, my Don Quixote. Sancho pleases me more than I can say, just as he is.

No, spring lamb is too dangerous for a Governor!

Oh, this fellow's getting on my nerves!

Can't take that one away.

I'm told, oh Knight of the Mournful Countenance that you serve a lady...

...of surpassing beauty, by name Dulcinea.

Why yes, your grace, her beauty can but be described only in music and in...

In music? Then you shall sing to me of her, for you are doubtless a musician, albeit a romantic one.

Yes, like all knights errant.

No! Too indigestable for your excellency!

Thanks very much!

Too indigestable!

The swallows have departed!

The song I sing is of the fair lady of my dreams, who lifts me far above this coarse and common world.

Her crystal heart also, clear and true.

Her cheeks a fiery rose in damask petals curled.

For her I have braved all dangers with good heart.

My arms have saved my queen from other prisons base.

The enchanter's horrid snares, the world's envenomed tongues,

and forced the universe to kneel before her grace.

Fair one for whom I live, I here alone, am now...

I'm not imprisoned nor slave of lying show...

Alone against all victors base and coward knights...

My standard I will guard nor rival will allow.

Why, Don Quixote, compared to the lady of my dreams, the charms of Dulcinea seem as nothing.

One night as well compare the moon to the sun, the daisy to the rose.

That is impossible to believe! I challenge it!

You say that I lie? Your maners do not become a knight of chivalry.

Then you shall defend your lady with your sword!

Gentlemen! One moment, please!

Knights errant are in truth unruly here! Let us at least finish our meal in peace.

Then if you so wish it, you shall decide by single combat which of your ladies outvies the other...

...in grace and beauty. Only on one condition I insist.

That the loser shall renounce knight errantry forever, and return home.

Do you accept these conditinos, gentlemen?

I do.

I do.

He is an old man, and you are young. Do not hurt him!

This way to your island, my dear Governor.

Oh, you are very nice... Lord love a duck, what was that?

What's all this funny business? I say, my master will need me.

Be calm, Excellency, be calm. Remember your dignity!

How can I see my island with this thing over my face?

The ceremony must follow the traditional rites.

Even a blind chicken may find a grain of seed.

Don't be afraid, Excellency. Nothing risked, nothing gained.

What're you doing? What're you trying to do? Where are you taking me to?

This way to your island, Governor.

One, two, three...

Master, where are you?

I've got such a sinking feeling, Master!

The knight of the Gryphon.

Don Quixote de la Mancha, Knight of the Mournful Countenance...

Champion of the Lady Dulcinea.

May God keep you and may your valiance prove worthy of your lady's beauty.

You're breaking my ribs!

This is no joke... stop this!

Don Quixote wins!

- Don Quixote? - Magic!

One can never be sure with lunatics!

Help! Help!

Confess that Dulcinea surpasses all other women in beauty.

I'm suffocating! Oh, spare me! I'll confess anything you like!

Heavens! Carrasco? A magician in the features of Carrasco? Die, scoundrel!

Oh, pity! I am Carrasco in the flesh, Maria's fianc�.

I have been tricked.

They have made a fool of me!

It was for your own good.

Mind, Don Quixote! Stay with us! We must celebrate your victory.

Master! Master!

Your grace, how much longer will your indulgence permit...

...this madman, Don Quixote, to disturb the peace?

He wants man to distribute justice in the place of God.

Many have been burned for less.

No, no gentlemen. Let us at least keep our sense of values.

In politics there are no conclusions, only endless argument.

Your grace, Don Quixote is a man without guile.

His books alone are responsible for his behavior.

Then burn his books! That should content you, sir.

At least you'd have something to burn.

I can't get this thing open. I'm not a tinker!

This is what comes from wearing a saucepan instead of a hat!

Why can't you be like ordinary people? You know, I haven't said much about your duke up till now...

But I've been thinking a lot, ad I'll keep on thinking, too.

Hey friend, that must be heavy. Where's your donkey?

I had to sell it. Taxes and wars have ruined us.

When the mills are finished with our grains...

We will have nothing left but the husks and flowers for the duke.

Look, Sancho, there they are! Giants! Giant devils!

Cruelty, Greed, Injustice. They want to retard the world.

They're widmills! I tell you they're only windmills!

Master! That's only the sails of the mills turning in the wind!

Easy, easy, quick! He might drop! Slowly, slowly...

Be careful, boys, be careful!

Steady now, steady!

Now steady, gently!

Is he still alive?

He's coming back in a carriage!

Welcome back! Now begins a new life for you!

Master, it must be the magicians that came in the night.

It's them that's burned your books. The magicians you talk about so much.

Master! Master!

I deceived you, Sancho. There is no island for you.

Oh Master, don't let that worry you. I don't particularly want an island.

Master!