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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,932 --> 00:00:39,185 Hey, man, this is bullshit, man. 2 00:00:39,268 --> 00:00:41,186 Yeah, bullshit. 3 00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:43,188 I know, but it's still bullshit, man. 4 00:00:43,272 --> 00:00:45,190 Well, what can you do, man? 5 00:00:45,274 --> 00:00:49,244 I don't know. Just be cool, man. 6 00:00:49,328 --> 00:00:52,864 - I'm cool. You be cool. - I'm cool. You just be cool. 7 00:00:55,701 --> 00:00:57,669 And don't look at that dude either. 8 00:00:57,703 --> 00:01:01,540 This is bullshit, man. Just act... Just act real cool. 9 00:01:01,591 --> 00:01:03,542 Just act like you're a garbageman. I know. 10 00:01:03,593 --> 00:01:05,544 Just be cool when you walk by this place. 11 00:01:05,595 --> 00:01:07,880 You know, just be like... Look like we're emptying trash. 12 00:01:17,306 --> 00:01:19,224 Go ahead, man. Do your thing. 13 00:01:19,308 --> 00:01:22,728 Just watch the dude. I'm watchin' him, man. 14 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,397 He's too busy watchin' his money. He ain't gonna watch us. 15 00:01:25,448 --> 00:01:27,399 Hey, how you doin', mama? 16 00:01:30,236 --> 00:01:32,321 Suck, suck. 17 00:01:32,405 --> 00:01:34,740 Hey, man. 18 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:38,243 Hey, what are you doing? Aw, this tastes like shit. 19 00:01:38,294 --> 00:01:40,575 I gotta go to work, man, with these clothes. Be cool, man. 20 00:01:46,302 --> 00:01:51,223 ♪ 21 00:01:53,926 --> 00:01:56,061 Is that enough? 22 00:01:58,598 --> 00:02:00,983 Okay, you got it. 23 00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:04,070 Hey, man, watch out. Hey, don't spill it, man. 24 00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:06,105 Oh, shit. Just leave it there. 25 00:02:06,155 --> 00:02:09,274 Leave the fuckin' hose! Come on. Let's go. Shh! 26 00:02:09,358 --> 00:02:11,493 Hey, man, watch out. You're spillin' it all over me. Shit. 27 00:02:11,577 --> 00:02:14,947 You're spillin' it all over me. Oh, shit. 28 00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:17,950 Okay, be cool, be cool. Okay, be cool. 29 00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:21,454 Just keep walkin', man. Don't even look at him, okay? 30 00:02:21,504 --> 00:02:23,923 Oh, he's lookin', man. He's not lookin', man. Just keep walkin'. 31 00:02:23,956 --> 00:02:26,458 It's killin' my hand. Well, just keep walkin'. 32 00:02:26,542 --> 00:02:30,295 It's killin' my hand. Hey, man, you're gettin' it all... 33 00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:33,098 Don't rock. Just be cool with it. 34 00:02:33,132 --> 00:02:35,968 I'm fucked up being cool. You're spillin' that shit all over the place. 35 00:02:36,052 --> 00:02:37,970 Well, here, it's spillin' you. Look at that. 36 00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:41,440 Why'd you fill it up so high? Hey, ladies. 37 00:02:41,474 --> 00:02:44,727 Damn. Jesus Christ. 38 00:02:44,810 --> 00:02:46,728 Let me get in here. So goddamn heavy. 39 00:02:46,812 --> 00:02:49,364 Why do we deal with this anyways? Shit. 40 00:02:49,448 --> 00:02:51,700 Put it down, put it down. Set it down. 41 00:02:51,784 --> 00:02:54,870 How do you open this thing? Right here. 42 00:02:54,954 --> 00:02:56,872 Where? 43 00:02:56,956 --> 00:02:58,874 Ow, ow, ow, geez. 44 00:03:01,043 --> 00:03:04,162 We need a funnel. Funnel? 45 00:03:04,213 --> 00:03:06,331 Oh, fuck it. Let's just pour it in. Pour it in? 46 00:03:06,382 --> 00:03:09,835 Yeah. Pour it in very carefully. Get it up real high. 47 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,836 Don't spill it. 48 00:03:11,921 --> 00:03:15,140 Oh, man, you're fuckin' spillin' it all over. 49 00:03:15,174 --> 00:03:17,392 Come on. Shit. Where did I spill it? 50 00:03:17,476 --> 00:03:19,511 There. 51 00:03:19,562 --> 00:03:21,764 Careful. Careful, man. Oh, fuckin' garbage. 52 00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:26,101 Careful. Why didn't you clean this thing out before you got it? 53 00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:28,103 I had to go in the alley. 54 00:03:28,187 --> 00:03:30,822 Jesus Christ. Okay, that's enough, that's enough. 55 00:03:30,856 --> 00:03:34,609 Well, get all of it, man. Didn't carry it around for nothing. 56 00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:37,246 Okay, that's good. I'm gonna be late for work. 57 00:03:37,330 --> 00:03:39,332 Shit! Look at this. 58 00:03:39,365 --> 00:03:42,034 Come on. Let's go. Yeah, okay. Hold on, man. 59 00:03:46,205 --> 00:03:48,707 Man, that's a smelly gasoline. 60 00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:51,710 Shit. That's an improvement, man. Come on. Let's blow this. 61 00:03:59,185 --> 00:04:02,972 Hey, way to go, Parnelli. Hey, relax, Holmes, I got it. 62 00:04:03,055 --> 00:04:06,558 - Hey, come on. Slow down, man. - Hey, Holmes, lay back. 63 00:04:06,609 --> 00:04:09,370 You're supposed to be a low rider, man. We're supposed to be cruisin'. 64 00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:11,697 Sit back and cruise, ese. 65 00:04:11,731 --> 00:04:13,783 You're driving like an idiot, man. 66 00:04:13,866 --> 00:04:16,568 Oh, I just can't get used to this automatic, man. 67 00:04:16,619 --> 00:04:20,372 Yeah, well, they are complicated, aren't they? Yeah. 68 00:04:20,406 --> 00:04:23,242 Remember: "D" is that way. That way? 69 00:04:23,292 --> 00:04:26,578 Hey, relax, Holmes. 70 00:04:26,629 --> 00:04:28,580 Relax? Yeah. 71 00:04:28,631 --> 00:04:30,582 Yeah, I better relax. 72 00:04:30,633 --> 00:04:33,752 Oh, shit, I'm gonna be late for work again. 73 00:04:33,803 --> 00:04:37,256 That's the fifth time I've been late this week. It's only Tuesday, man. 74 00:04:37,306 --> 00:04:39,725 Why don't you quit that lame job? 75 00:04:39,759 --> 00:04:42,394 Hey, man, I wish I could, man. 76 00:04:42,428 --> 00:04:46,648 If I quit, the whole place would fall apart without me. I'm needed there, man. 77 00:04:46,732 --> 00:04:49,651 Responsibility is a heavy responsibility, man. 78 00:04:52,405 --> 00:04:54,573 Hey, I got it. Why don't you get a job, man? 79 00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,992 Hey, I'm serious, man. 80 00:04:57,076 --> 00:04:59,862 I had a job for over six weeks now, man. 81 00:04:59,945 --> 00:05:02,864 Hey, listen, man. I already got a job. Yeah? 82 00:05:02,948 --> 00:05:04,866 What's your job, man? Rollin' dope? 83 00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:08,370 Yeah. At least it's steady work, man. 84 00:05:08,454 --> 00:05:10,873 Something you're good at, man. 85 00:05:10,956 --> 00:05:14,292 Hey, I'm serious, man. You're supposed to be sellin' that dope, not smokin' it. 86 00:05:14,376 --> 00:05:16,311 We haven't even paid for it yet. 87 00:05:16,378 --> 00:05:18,797 I'm sellin' it. Yeah, you're sellin' it. 88 00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:21,216 Hey, listen, I sold two lids last night. How's that? 89 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,886 Oh, yeah? All right, Holmes. 90 00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:27,138 - Who'd you sell 'em to? - Me. 91 00:05:27,223 --> 00:05:30,309 Oh, man, shit. 92 00:05:30,392 --> 00:05:32,477 Man, we're gonna starve to death, man. 93 00:05:32,561 --> 00:05:35,730 No, not with me, man. I'm a good customer. 94 00:05:35,815 --> 00:05:37,733 Oh, man. God, dog. 95 00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:41,153 I did, man. I-I got a thing. You know what I'm gonna do? 96 00:05:41,203 --> 00:05:43,154 What? I figure it this way. 97 00:05:43,205 --> 00:05:45,540 Dope's gonna be legal in a few years, you know? Yeah. 98 00:05:45,624 --> 00:05:47,542 Then... 99 00:05:47,626 --> 00:05:51,079 Then, I'll be, you know... It'll be a legitimate job, you know? 100 00:05:51,163 --> 00:05:53,632 And all these other dudes, you know, that aren't ready for it. 101 00:05:53,666 --> 00:05:55,668 They won't know how to do it, see? 102 00:05:55,718 --> 00:05:58,387 Then, like, I'll have a job. Yeah. 103 00:05:58,471 --> 00:06:01,841 Yeah, we'll have a job. That's good thinkin', man. Shit. 104 00:06:01,924 --> 00:06:05,727 If you had another brain it'd die of loneliness, man. 105 00:06:05,811 --> 00:06:07,679 God, it smells in here. 106 00:06:07,763 --> 00:06:11,767 - It's all this gas. - No, it's me. I just cut one, man. 107 00:06:11,851 --> 00:06:13,986 Oh, cocino. 108 00:06:14,019 --> 00:06:17,188 Oh, foxy mama. 109 00:06:17,273 --> 00:06:20,326 Oh, man, you're sick. 110 00:06:20,359 --> 00:06:23,328 - What are you talkin' about? - Who you lookin' at? 111 00:06:25,531 --> 00:06:29,201 Aw, not that. Aaah. No, man, that chick over there. 112 00:06:29,251 --> 00:06:32,671 Check out how fine she is. Hey, baby! 113 00:06:32,705 --> 00:06:35,340 Hey, baby. Come on. Don't be stuck-up. 114 00:06:35,374 --> 00:06:38,343 Come on. I'll clear off a place for you to sit down. 115 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,718 Uh-oh, man, be cool. 116 00:06:46,802 --> 00:06:48,854 What's the matter? I got company. 117 00:06:48,888 --> 00:06:51,807 Don't turn around. Just look straight ahead. 118 00:07:04,153 --> 00:07:06,655 Oh, man. Hey, you got a light, man? 119 00:07:06,739 --> 00:07:08,991 Huh? Yeah. Light? 120 00:07:09,074 --> 00:07:11,659 Hey, I don't think you better light it in here, man. Why? 121 00:07:11,744 --> 00:07:13,579 All these gas fumes. Oh, man. 122 00:07:13,662 --> 00:07:15,580 I don't know. 123 00:07:18,384 --> 00:07:21,220 Stop, stop! 124 00:07:23,255 --> 00:07:25,390 Hey, what are you trying to do, kill us, man? 125 00:07:25,424 --> 00:07:29,561 What a flash, huh? Oh, God, I told you not to light that thing. 126 00:07:29,595 --> 00:07:32,981 Well, you're the one that cut it, man. Oh, God! 127 00:07:33,065 --> 00:07:36,985 Come on. Let's get out of here before the cops come, man. Christ, look at us. 128 00:08:01,627 --> 00:08:05,764 Oh, hey, mama. Hey, hey, fella, you need a pass! 129 00:08:05,798 --> 00:08:08,967 Oh, I'm with "The Towering Inferno," man. 130 00:08:09,051 --> 00:08:10,969 Oh, okay, go ahead. 131 00:08:14,023 --> 00:08:17,309 And I want you all back on top of boxes. 132 00:08:17,359 --> 00:08:19,310 Okay, everybody, back on top of the boxes. 133 00:08:19,361 --> 00:08:21,863 Okay, Brenda, follow directions. 134 00:08:21,947 --> 00:08:24,566 Don't touch the girl. Sy said don't touch the girl. 135 00:08:24,650 --> 00:08:26,568 Don't touch the girl. Extend the ladies. 136 00:08:28,704 --> 00:08:31,873 Right leg up. Right leg up. One leg up. 137 00:08:31,957 --> 00:08:34,709 Her ass is shiny. We've got a shiny ass over here. 138 00:08:34,793 --> 00:08:36,711 Shiny ass. Will somebody help me up here? 139 00:08:36,795 --> 00:08:39,547 Okay, now what's gonna happen is you're all terrified, 140 00:08:39,632 --> 00:08:42,552 and you want Wamba to come and help you, so you scream, "Help me, Wamba!" 141 00:08:42,635 --> 00:08:45,337 - Help me, Wamba? - Scream, "Help me, Wamba!" 142 00:08:45,421 --> 00:08:47,341 Help me, Wamba. Scream, scream. "Help me, Wamba!" 143 00:08:47,389 --> 00:08:49,808 Help me, Wamba! Please, lose the noise! 144 00:08:49,842 --> 00:08:51,810 Lose the noise. Quiet. Help me, Wamba! 145 00:08:51,844 --> 00:08:55,147 - Help me, Wamba. - Help me, Wamba. 146 00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:56,764 Louder! Louder, please! 147 00:08:56,849 --> 00:09:00,853 - Help me, Wamba! - Help me, Wamba! 148 00:09:00,903 --> 00:09:03,772 Help me, Wamba! Okay, fine. Let's take one. 149 00:09:03,856 --> 00:09:05,774 Lose the noise! Lose the noise! 150 00:09:05,858 --> 00:09:08,110 Quiet on the set! Quiet on the set! 151 00:09:08,193 --> 00:09:10,111 Come on. We're gonna try one, all right? 152 00:09:10,195 --> 00:09:12,030 Let's take one. Cue Wamba! 153 00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:14,416 Cue Wamba. Quiet on the set. 154 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,252 All right, this is a take. Marker. All right, this is a take. 155 00:09:17,336 --> 00:09:20,038 Marker. Marker! 156 00:09:20,089 --> 00:09:22,875 And action! Action. Action. 157 00:09:22,925 --> 00:09:25,544 Psst, Kim. Kim. 158 00:09:27,713 --> 00:09:31,967 Hold it right there, Officer. Don't slice those enchiladas. Psst. 159 00:09:32,051 --> 00:09:35,270 - Hey, Kim. - This one's for me. 160 00:09:35,354 --> 00:09:38,557 You lawn mowin' dog, chiquita. 161 00:09:38,607 --> 00:09:43,812 Come on, you obnoxious little weasel. That fuckin' knife is no match for a .45! 162 00:09:43,896 --> 00:09:46,398 What? I need some clothes. 163 00:09:46,448 --> 00:09:48,399 There's no way. I'm too busy. 164 00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:51,870 Oh, come on, baby. Just give me a few things from wardrobe. 165 00:09:51,904 --> 00:09:53,739 Come on. What happened to you? 166 00:09:53,822 --> 00:09:56,074 I thought you were supposed to be working. I was. 167 00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:59,461 I was on my way to work, you know, and I was just walkin' down the street. 168 00:09:59,545 --> 00:10:02,381 I swear to God. I was walkin' down. 169 00:10:02,414 --> 00:10:05,250 Then there was this building, and it was on fire. 170 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,386 I ran up about five or six steps and rescued a burning baby. 171 00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:11,389 I got burning baby all over me, and that's what happened to my clothes. 172 00:10:11,423 --> 00:10:13,758 So, look, just go to wardrobe and get me a few pair of pants. 173 00:10:13,809 --> 00:10:16,595 There's no way. Come on. Just gimme a couple things from wardrobe. 174 00:10:16,645 --> 00:10:18,847 Meet me on the Mission set in ten minutes. 175 00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:21,767 No. Oh, come on, baby. 176 00:10:21,817 --> 00:10:24,236 I'll tell you a secret. Come here. I'll lick you all over for a dime. 177 00:10:24,269 --> 00:10:26,854 Stop. Okay, for free then. 178 00:10:26,939 --> 00:10:29,408 Ten minutes, at the Mission, okay? Come on, please. 179 00:10:29,441 --> 00:10:31,526 Oh, please. I love you so much. 180 00:10:31,610 --> 00:10:33,495 Come on. Ten minutes, okay? 181 00:10:40,786 --> 00:10:43,922 Hey, Cheech? Where's that wall I'm supposed to go crash through? 182 00:10:43,956 --> 00:10:47,459 Oh, uh, uh, I think it's that one. 183 00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:51,046 Thanks a lot. Yeah, yeah, man. Hey, sure thing, man. 184 00:10:56,185 --> 00:11:00,973 What happened? 185 00:12:12,177 --> 00:12:15,380 I won't stand still for this any longer. I'm not getting any help from the police. 186 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,215 I'm not getting any help from our government. 187 00:12:17,266 --> 00:12:19,217 I'm just gonna call the Board of Health, 188 00:12:19,268 --> 00:12:23,305 and they'll just exterminate you and that cockroach you live with. 189 00:12:23,388 --> 00:12:27,725 Oh! You're dirty and filthy and diseased! 190 00:12:27,776 --> 00:12:31,646 We need Dr. Switzer and Dr. Salk to come into this neighborhood... 191 00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:34,232 and give it one big shot of penicillin. 192 00:12:34,283 --> 00:12:37,202 Yes! You animal! 193 00:12:40,539 --> 00:12:42,824 Hey, hold it. Where's your pass? 194 00:12:42,908 --> 00:12:45,327 Pass? Oh, okay, thanks a lot, man. 195 00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:28,670 ♪ 196 00:13:28,754 --> 00:13:30,672 ♪ Hell on wheels ♪ 197 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,758 ♪ I'm takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 198 00:13:33,792 --> 00:13:35,760 ♪ Takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 199 00:13:39,348 --> 00:13:42,267 ♪ Wheelin' on the freeway ♪ 200 00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:45,971 ♪ What a freedom ♪ 201 00:13:46,054 --> 00:13:48,973 ♪ Hung up from my tailpipe ♪ 202 00:13:49,057 --> 00:13:51,059 ♪ A screamin' hell ♪ 203 00:13:51,143 --> 00:13:53,061 ♪ On wheels ♪ 204 00:13:53,145 --> 00:13:56,114 ♪ Girl, take the chance if you wanna ♪ 205 00:13:56,148 --> 00:13:58,984 ♪ Ride the wind ♪ 206 00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:02,987 ♪ Now my mates are gonna ♪ 207 00:14:03,038 --> 00:14:07,325 ♪ Hate to love me In the end ♪ 208 00:14:07,409 --> 00:14:10,662 ♪ Don't you fall in love with me ♪ 209 00:14:10,746 --> 00:14:14,166 ♪ Don't try to close me in ♪ 210 00:14:14,216 --> 00:14:17,802 ♪ I will try to get out of here ♪ 211 00:14:17,836 --> 00:14:22,056 ♪ Gonna get in the wind ♪ 212 00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:24,675 ♪ Hell on wheels ♪ 213 00:14:24,726 --> 00:14:27,011 ♪ Is takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 214 00:14:27,095 --> 00:14:29,013 ♪ Takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 215 00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:52,837 ♪ 216 00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:03,715 ♪ My scrotum ♪ 217 00:15:03,799 --> 00:15:05,717 ♪ 218 00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:10,221 ♪ My scrotum ♪ 219 00:15:25,037 --> 00:15:27,622 ♪ 220 00:15:37,966 --> 00:15:40,918 ♪ 221 00:15:49,261 --> 00:15:53,315 Oh, they're gone! They're all gone! 222 00:15:53,398 --> 00:15:55,683 They killed 'em all. 223 00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:58,686 ♪ 224 00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:01,322 Oh, God. 225 00:16:01,406 --> 00:16:03,775 Oh, man, not again. 226 00:16:03,825 --> 00:16:06,577 Oh, God. 227 00:16:06,611 --> 00:16:09,447 You murderers! 228 00:16:38,276 --> 00:16:40,144 Hey, man! 229 00:16:43,315 --> 00:16:45,650 Hey! 230 00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:47,652 Hey, man! 231 00:16:51,957 --> 00:16:53,992 Hey! Hey, man! 232 00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:56,077 Hey! 233 00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:04,001 Oh, God. 234 00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:12,343 Goddamn, man. Hope I can still have babies. Huh? 235 00:17:12,394 --> 00:17:16,181 Oh, God, it's loud, man. Oh, shit. What? 236 00:17:16,264 --> 00:17:19,984 Hey, come on outside, man. Gimme a hand. Huh? 237 00:17:20,018 --> 00:17:22,820 Oh, God, that curdled my milk. What'd you say? 238 00:17:22,854 --> 00:17:26,991 You oughta see what I got this time, man. It'll trip you out. This is the best one. 239 00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:28,993 We'll put it in the bathroom. 240 00:17:29,027 --> 00:17:32,830 Wait'll you see it. You'll trip out, man. This thing's really heavy. 241 00:17:32,864 --> 00:17:34,832 I don't know how I got 'em. I lucked out. 242 00:17:34,866 --> 00:17:37,501 They were shootin' a Las Vegas scene or something, you know? 243 00:17:37,536 --> 00:17:40,539 They just had one more scene to go, so I grabbed it, man. 244 00:17:40,622 --> 00:17:42,540 Check it out, man. It's really choice. 245 00:17:45,126 --> 00:17:48,212 Come on. Gimme a hand. Hey, how do you like these pants too? 246 00:17:50,265 --> 00:17:52,884 Hey, man, check it out. Oh, yeah, I like this. 247 00:17:52,968 --> 00:17:56,137 Hey, somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off. 248 00:17:56,221 --> 00:17:59,724 Aw, shit. Oh, no. This is nice, man. 249 00:17:59,808 --> 00:18:01,893 - Hey, man, come here. - Gimme a hand, man. 250 00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:03,895 Oh, shit. Hey, come here, quick. 251 00:18:03,979 --> 00:18:05,897 Come on. Lift it up. 252 00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:10,652 Let's get it in the house before anything else happens to it. 253 00:18:10,735 --> 00:18:13,320 You murderers! It's a slot machine. I'm gonna put it in the bathroom. 254 00:18:13,405 --> 00:18:15,657 My hands! My hands! 255 00:18:16,908 --> 00:18:19,994 ♪ 256 00:18:20,078 --> 00:18:22,880 Hey, hey, hey, man. Hey, hey, hey. 257 00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:26,000 Do you know another tune? Geez. Oh, oh, yeah. 258 00:18:26,084 --> 00:18:30,254 ♪ One summer night ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, man. 259 00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:33,974 Get in your left lane, man. Get in your left lane. What? 260 00:18:34,059 --> 00:18:36,428 Left? Right. Oh, right, okay. Right. 261 00:18:36,478 --> 00:18:40,315 Your left lane, man. You said right. 262 00:18:42,234 --> 00:18:46,438 What are you doin'? Oh, man, people don't know how to drive around here. 263 00:18:49,524 --> 00:18:52,743 Man, where'd he buy his gas? Look out, man! 264 00:18:52,777 --> 00:18:54,862 Watch out! 265 00:18:54,946 --> 00:18:58,699 You're gonna kill us, man. You're gonna kill everybody. 266 00:18:58,783 --> 00:19:01,702 Hey, brother! Move it or milk it, huh? 267 00:19:01,786 --> 00:19:04,622 Now what's this, man? 268 00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:08,543 Who's this indio? He looks like he went through Pep Boys with a magnet. 269 00:19:08,627 --> 00:19:12,297 Hey, Cochise, circle up. The wagons are gonna attack. 270 00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:15,299 What's goin' on, man? 271 00:19:16,434 --> 00:19:18,352 I know what's happening, man. 272 00:19:18,436 --> 00:19:21,856 We ain't dressed right. That's why we ain't gettin' no respect. 273 00:19:21,940 --> 00:19:24,859 ♪ 274 00:20:06,351 --> 00:20:09,270 All right, that's better, man. 275 00:20:09,354 --> 00:20:12,774 When you go into these neighborhoods, you gotta have your stuff together. 276 00:20:12,857 --> 00:20:15,192 You gotta have your attitude, your whole trip down. 277 00:20:15,276 --> 00:20:18,295 You know, everybody throws their bad looks at you. 278 00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:20,998 Man. I feel like we should go eat tacos now or something. 279 00:20:21,032 --> 00:20:24,585 Want me to teach you some Spanish words? Okay. 280 00:20:24,669 --> 00:20:28,005 Okay, when you see a real good friend, you say, 281 00:20:28,039 --> 00:20:31,976 "Hey, pendejo, how ya doin'?" 282 00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:35,212 Try it. Hey, "pendecko," how ya doin'? 283 00:20:35,263 --> 00:20:37,515 Yeah, that's close enough. What does that mean? 284 00:20:37,549 --> 00:20:40,218 Oh, that means, uh, "my real good friend." 285 00:20:40,268 --> 00:20:43,054 Pende... Pen... How's that again? 286 00:20:43,104 --> 00:20:45,973 Pendejo, man. "Pendecko." 287 00:20:46,057 --> 00:20:49,810 Yeah, yeah. You know. Then say, "Bend over, 'pendecko.'" 288 00:20:49,894 --> 00:20:52,696 Hey, Holmes. 289 00:20:54,199 --> 00:20:56,117 Hey, that's a nice car, man. 290 00:20:56,201 --> 00:20:59,404 You better get it back to the circus before they find out it's gone. 291 00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:04,959 Oh, you wanna jump, huh? 292 00:21:06,911 --> 00:21:09,997 Hey, is that all the higher you can get it up, man? 293 00:21:10,081 --> 00:21:12,016 Go ahead. Hit it, man. 294 00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,418 Whoo! 295 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,236 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 296 00:21:44,866 --> 00:21:46,918 Hey, knock it off. 297 00:21:46,951 --> 00:21:48,836 Hey, man, stop! 298 00:21:50,672 --> 00:21:53,424 Hey! Hey, man, stop! 299 00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:56,043 Hey! Oh, shit! 300 00:21:58,296 --> 00:22:00,131 Hey! 301 00:22:00,215 --> 00:22:04,969 Hey, man, stop, man! Hey, man, let go! 302 00:22:05,019 --> 00:22:08,972 Turn it off, man! We're all messed up! 303 00:22:09,057 --> 00:22:11,392 Man, what are you doing? Hey! 304 00:22:13,645 --> 00:22:16,230 ♪ Tequila ♪ 305 00:22:16,314 --> 00:22:18,282 Hey, pendejos, how ya doin'? 306 00:22:21,202 --> 00:22:24,321 Don't say pendejos. He didn't mean anything! Hey, pendejos! 307 00:22:24,372 --> 00:22:27,324 What he meant was... What? Huh? 308 00:22:30,662 --> 00:22:33,665 We gotta go now. 309 00:22:33,715 --> 00:22:37,135 You got a nice yard. Yeah, see you, pendejos. 310 00:22:49,848 --> 00:22:52,317 ♪ Tequila ♪ 311 00:22:52,350 --> 00:22:54,318 ♪ Aye, Chicona ♪ 312 00:22:54,352 --> 00:22:57,688 Hey, it's about time, man. What do you got? Gimme some. 313 00:22:57,772 --> 00:22:59,690 What? Give me a drink, man. 314 00:22:59,774 --> 00:23:01,776 Come on, man. Gimme a drink. Of this? 315 00:23:01,860 --> 00:23:05,113 Yeah. Oh, go ahead, man. Help yourself. 316 00:23:05,196 --> 00:23:07,364 Wait a minute. 317 00:23:07,448 --> 00:23:10,250 Hey, man, that's pee! No kidding. 318 00:23:10,335 --> 00:23:13,454 What are you doing with pee? It's for my probation officer. 319 00:23:13,538 --> 00:23:17,675 - What, does he drink pee? - No, man. Last week I was supposed to bring some in. 320 00:23:17,709 --> 00:23:21,012 Yeah. And I forgot to wash out the jar first, you know. 321 00:23:21,045 --> 00:23:24,298 Yuck! So they see all the mayonnaise floatin' around in there, 322 00:23:24,382 --> 00:23:28,386 and they think I'm on some kind of weird drug again. Right. 323 00:23:28,436 --> 00:23:31,388 I'm really gonna fuck with his mind this time. Why? What'd you do? 324 00:23:31,439 --> 00:23:33,441 I had my sister pee in it. Yeah? 325 00:23:33,525 --> 00:23:37,228 Yeah, and she's pregnant. 326 00:23:37,278 --> 00:23:41,065 Hey, did you get the weed? No, she's out of it, man. 327 00:23:41,115 --> 00:23:44,568 So they're just waitin' on some from Colombia. Watch the bumps, man. 328 00:23:44,619 --> 00:23:46,904 Watch the bumps. Yeah, watch out. Oh, that bump there. 329 00:23:46,955 --> 00:23:49,907 It'll probably spill all over if I hit it real hard! 330 00:23:49,958 --> 00:23:52,160 Come on, man. 331 00:23:52,243 --> 00:23:54,745 Oh, I'm so very sorry. 332 00:23:54,796 --> 00:23:58,966 You're getting it all over my clothes. Watch where you're driving. 333 00:23:59,050 --> 00:24:01,635 Watch my car do the twist. ♪ Hey, let's twist again ♪ 334 00:24:01,719 --> 00:24:03,921 Come on, man. ♪ Like we did last summer ♪ 335 00:24:03,972 --> 00:24:06,808 Come on. Come on, man. 336 00:24:06,891 --> 00:24:09,143 Now, hey, come on. I'm spillin' it, man. 337 00:24:09,227 --> 00:24:12,980 Hey, hold on. Oh, watch out. 338 00:24:15,733 --> 00:24:19,737 You smell like pee, man. Hey, Cheech. Hey, hey, man, look. 339 00:24:24,859 --> 00:24:26,944 Man, where'd you get that? 340 00:24:26,995 --> 00:24:29,914 My sister gave it to me. God, what is that, man? 341 00:24:29,948 --> 00:24:33,751 What does it look like? It looks like coke. 342 00:24:33,785 --> 00:24:36,871 Yeah, and it smells like coke too. 343 00:24:36,955 --> 00:24:41,376 All right, man. Hey, let's party, man. Gimme some. 344 00:24:41,459 --> 00:24:43,594 No. No, I can't. It's gotta last me. 345 00:24:43,628 --> 00:24:45,880 Hey, come on, man. Gimme a hit, man. 346 00:24:45,964 --> 00:24:48,383 No. I-I-I'd like to, man, 347 00:24:48,466 --> 00:24:51,969 but I don't wanna be responsible for turnin' you into a drug addict. 348 00:24:52,053 --> 00:24:54,805 Oh, man, I ain't gonna turn into a drug addict. Gimme a little hit. 349 00:24:54,856 --> 00:24:57,692 This shit's bad for you, man. Don't you read Ann Landers? 350 00:24:57,775 --> 00:25:00,394 Man, come on. No, it'll give you brain damage, man. 351 00:25:00,478 --> 00:25:03,197 Come on, man. Just gimme a little bit. Man, come on. No. 352 00:25:03,281 --> 00:25:05,199 Hey, come on, please. No. 353 00:25:05,283 --> 00:25:09,320 Man, come on! No, it's all I got, man. 354 00:25:09,370 --> 00:25:11,989 I could get laid with this, huh? Shit. 355 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,709 Okay, I don't want any. Good. 356 00:25:14,792 --> 00:25:17,995 Hey, man, don't be so chickenshit, man. Gimme some. 357 00:25:18,046 --> 00:25:21,799 Come on, man. Just let me smell it then. No. 358 00:25:21,833 --> 00:25:24,252 Come on. Just let me, let me hold it just for... You can just smell it. 359 00:25:24,335 --> 00:25:26,255 I just wanna smell it. Just smell it. That's all. 360 00:25:26,337 --> 00:25:28,255 All right. You promise you won't take any. 361 00:25:28,339 --> 00:25:30,674 I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, 100 needles in my eye. 362 00:25:30,725 --> 00:25:33,144 Come on. Gimme some. That smells of... Okay. 363 00:25:33,177 --> 00:25:35,095 Hey! 364 00:25:45,356 --> 00:25:47,941 Hey, man! That's salt, man! 365 00:25:48,026 --> 00:25:50,828 No shit? 366 00:25:52,864 --> 00:25:55,333 Hey, don't drink that, man. 367 00:25:56,534 --> 00:25:58,502 Oh, shit! I'm gonna die. 368 00:25:58,536 --> 00:26:00,871 Hey, watch the road, man. 369 00:26:00,955 --> 00:26:03,340 I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! 370 00:26:03,374 --> 00:26:06,210 Hey, watch out! Hey, watch the road! 371 00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:08,178 Here, here, here. 372 00:26:18,106 --> 00:26:21,726 Hey, watch the road, man. Watch the road. 373 00:26:21,809 --> 00:26:23,744 Watch the road. 374 00:27:00,264 --> 00:27:03,233 ♪ Good day, sunshine ♪ 375 00:27:16,030 --> 00:27:18,949 ♪ 376 00:27:38,219 --> 00:27:40,137 Shit. 377 00:27:52,233 --> 00:27:54,985 Hey, man, wake up. Hey, man, wake up. 378 00:27:55,036 --> 00:27:57,655 We've been ripped off, man. We've been ripped off. What? 379 00:27:57,705 --> 00:27:59,656 Where? Who? Who did it? Oh, the van. 380 00:27:59,707 --> 00:28:02,376 The van's gone, man! I parked out in front last night. 381 00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:04,578 Now I went out there, and it's not parked out in front no more. 382 00:28:04,662 --> 00:28:08,499 Somebody took us. Shit, why did I take it home? Why did I take it home? 383 00:28:08,549 --> 00:28:11,885 We gotta call somebody. Where's the phone book? What? 384 00:28:11,969 --> 00:28:15,505 The van, the van! I parked the van out there, and now it's not there. 385 00:28:15,556 --> 00:28:19,393 It's gone. Yeah, it's gone. Duh, uh, yeah. 386 00:28:19,477 --> 00:28:22,429 Oh, God, why did I take it home? Maybe I left the keys in it. 387 00:28:22,513 --> 00:28:25,983 What do you mean? Shit, I hot-wired it myself. 388 00:28:26,017 --> 00:28:28,019 Oh, God, why did I take it home? 389 00:28:28,102 --> 00:28:30,687 Where's the phone book, man? 390 00:28:30,738 --> 00:28:33,741 What am I gonna tell 'im? What am I gonna tell 'im? 391 00:28:33,825 --> 00:28:36,077 I'll tell 'im I lied. That's what I'll tell 'im, man. 392 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,363 Why don't you tell 'im the truth, man? What do you mean? 393 00:28:39,447 --> 00:28:41,365 I can just see me tellin' 'im... 394 00:28:41,449 --> 00:28:44,835 "Mr. Straumberg, you know that van that I wasn't supposed to take home overnight? 395 00:28:44,869 --> 00:28:47,037 Well, I took it home overnight, and it got stolen." 396 00:28:47,088 --> 00:28:50,207 You know what he's gonna say, man? 397 00:28:52,293 --> 00:28:54,712 Yeah, tell him the truth. 398 00:28:54,795 --> 00:28:59,766 Hey, come on. Help me out, man. What am I gonna tell him? Help me find the phone book too. 399 00:28:59,851 --> 00:29:01,769 Goddamn it. 400 00:29:01,853 --> 00:29:05,890 Oh, shit. Oh, what am I gonna do? Why did I take it home, man? 401 00:29:05,973 --> 00:29:07,975 Shit. 402 00:29:08,059 --> 00:29:11,979 Hey, man, help me out, man! I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'. 403 00:29:12,063 --> 00:29:15,983 I'll tell him the gypsy story. How's that? No, tell him... 404 00:29:16,067 --> 00:29:19,070 Tell him you needed the van to take out his daughter. 405 00:29:19,153 --> 00:29:21,071 Oh, man, I don't take out his daughter. 406 00:29:21,155 --> 00:29:24,575 Yeah, but he'll be so worried about his daughter, he'll forget all about the van. 407 00:29:24,659 --> 00:29:26,577 Oh, man, I better call the cops. 408 00:29:26,661 --> 00:29:28,913 What are they under, "cops"? No, no, "law." Yeah. 409 00:29:28,963 --> 00:29:31,215 No, no, "heat." Heat, heat, heat. 410 00:29:31,249 --> 00:29:33,634 "Heating and Plumbing." What is that, 4-1-1? 411 00:29:33,718 --> 00:29:36,387 Oh, shit, that's work. 412 00:29:36,420 --> 00:29:38,388 Hey, man, answer the phone, please. 413 00:29:38,422 --> 00:29:40,640 Come on, man. It's work. I know it's work. Answer the phone for me. 414 00:29:40,725 --> 00:29:42,645 Come on, man. All right, don't be so chickenshit. 415 00:29:44,595 --> 00:29:47,397 I'll give you my last stick of tie weed. 416 00:29:47,431 --> 00:29:49,399 Come on. Just answer the phone, man. Oh, man. 417 00:29:49,433 --> 00:29:52,986 Come on. Just answer the phone. Shit. Hello? 418 00:29:53,070 --> 00:29:56,990 Yeah, he's right here. Just a minute. It's for you. 419 00:29:57,074 --> 00:29:58,992 Thanks a lot. 420 00:30:00,244 --> 00:30:02,446 Hello? 421 00:30:02,530 --> 00:30:04,582 Hi, Mr. Straumberg. How are you, sir? 422 00:30:04,615 --> 00:30:07,784 I was just gonna call you. You'll never guess what happened. 423 00:30:07,835 --> 00:30:12,089 I took the van out overnight, and I kept it. 424 00:30:12,123 --> 00:30:15,543 And, uh, it's just been stolen. Ah! 425 00:30:16,627 --> 00:30:19,546 I'm fi... Oh. 426 00:30:19,630 --> 00:30:21,565 For what? 427 00:30:33,227 --> 00:30:35,696 You still owe me two weeks for my pay. 428 00:30:35,780 --> 00:30:39,366 Yeah, well, that was a loan. That wasn't an advance. 429 00:30:39,450 --> 00:30:43,036 Okay. Thank you. 430 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,705 I wouldn't take out your daughter if she had ten tits. 431 00:30:45,790 --> 00:30:48,159 What happened, man? I got fired, man. 432 00:30:48,209 --> 00:30:50,995 Well, they got the van? Yeah, they got the van. They took it this morning. 433 00:30:51,078 --> 00:30:54,498 Shit. After all I did for him too, huh? 434 00:30:54,548 --> 00:30:57,000 Man, some people. 435 00:30:57,051 --> 00:30:59,503 Well, where is that tie stick? 436 00:30:59,553 --> 00:31:02,505 Oh, man, shit. 437 00:31:02,556 --> 00:31:04,808 Well, at least we've still got welfare. 438 00:31:19,073 --> 00:31:21,158 I wanna be downright holy with you, so you could... 439 00:31:21,192 --> 00:31:23,160 Come on. Give me my money. 440 00:31:23,194 --> 00:31:26,163 Did you get a card from them? Check the files again. 441 00:31:28,032 --> 00:31:30,200 Just look in the files. Look under my name. 442 00:31:30,284 --> 00:31:32,369 I gave you the name. It's in there. 443 00:31:32,453 --> 00:31:34,872 Just check it out. Check out the files. 444 00:31:34,922 --> 00:31:37,341 Hey, sucker, take a number. 445 00:31:37,375 --> 00:31:39,343 Oh, how about number one? 446 00:31:40,378 --> 00:31:42,296 Come on, lady. Gimme my money. 447 00:31:46,183 --> 00:31:49,219 Hey, man, you got the whole thing. What's this? 448 00:31:49,270 --> 00:31:51,221 This ain't no money. I want some green. 449 00:31:51,272 --> 00:31:53,274 Gimme some money. That's what I'm talking about. 450 00:31:53,357 --> 00:31:55,809 Hey, hey, brother, they just called your number. 451 00:31:55,893 --> 00:31:57,978 Yeah, over there. Hurry up, man. 452 00:31:58,062 --> 00:32:00,564 Hey, go out for a pass, you guys. Go on. ♪ Da-da-da-da-ra ♪ 453 00:32:00,614 --> 00:32:02,565 Yea! 454 00:32:05,536 --> 00:32:09,373 You want me to get militant or something? Hey, get me a translator over here! 455 00:32:09,407 --> 00:32:13,327 I hope Donna comes pretty soon, man. 456 00:32:13,411 --> 00:32:16,547 Hope she hasn't eaten. I got something for her. 457 00:32:16,580 --> 00:32:20,383 A tubesteak smothered in underwear. Mmm. 458 00:32:23,754 --> 00:32:25,889 Oh, there she is. 459 00:32:28,259 --> 00:32:30,427 Oh, she's too much. 460 00:32:30,511 --> 00:32:33,096 Shake 'em, you won't break 'em. 461 00:32:33,180 --> 00:32:35,932 Hey, baby! 462 00:32:38,853 --> 00:32:40,771 What? Around? 463 00:32:42,656 --> 00:32:44,941 You wanna go around the world? Both of us? 464 00:32:44,992 --> 00:32:46,943 All right. 465 00:32:46,994 --> 00:32:49,529 Okay. Come on. Come on, man. 466 00:33:10,968 --> 00:33:12,886 Ooh, hot mama! 467 00:33:12,970 --> 00:33:15,639 Hey, Cheecheto. Hey. 468 00:33:15,723 --> 00:33:18,142 Shh. Keep it down, man. Hi, guys. 469 00:33:18,225 --> 00:33:21,144 Why don't you wait in there for me? I'll be right out. All right. 470 00:33:21,195 --> 00:33:23,647 I got a private conference. Come on. 471 00:33:25,616 --> 00:33:29,453 You gotta cool it, man. 472 00:33:29,487 --> 00:33:31,822 No. Come on, don't. Not now. 473 00:33:31,872 --> 00:33:35,158 I don't want to do anything now because you're gonna make me lose my job. 474 00:33:37,461 --> 00:33:39,996 You'll just have to excuse me now or I'll lose my job. 475 00:33:40,047 --> 00:33:42,883 Stop. Don't do that. I said, not now. 476 00:33:42,967 --> 00:33:46,670 Oh, God, Cheeto, not here. Relax. 477 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,672 Don't do it now. Don't you understand I'm working right now? 478 00:33:49,757 --> 00:33:52,009 You know you wanna do this. Oh, God. 479 00:33:57,014 --> 00:33:59,182 ♪ 480 00:33:59,266 --> 00:34:01,318 ♪ 481 00:34:05,856 --> 00:34:07,774 ♪ Saw my bookie this mornin' ♪ 482 00:34:09,693 --> 00:34:12,362 I know, but you're gonna make me lose my button. 483 00:34:12,446 --> 00:34:14,364 Oh, gosh, you... 484 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,542 Don't. Stop! 485 00:34:25,626 --> 00:34:28,595 Don't. Leave it alone. Let me do it. 486 00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:30,964 Don't. Don't stop. Don't. 487 00:34:37,638 --> 00:34:39,556 It's all right to smoke in here. 488 00:34:41,976 --> 00:34:44,228 Oh, Cheeto, come on. You're gonna get me in so much trouble. 489 00:34:44,278 --> 00:34:47,230 - Hey, wait a minute. - Wait a minute. 490 00:34:51,735 --> 00:34:54,654 You're gonna get me in trouble. Can't you wait until lunchtime? 491 00:34:54,738 --> 00:34:58,158 Come on. I got a lot of stuff to do, baby. 492 00:34:58,242 --> 00:35:00,244 Hey, you want some Coke? 493 00:35:00,294 --> 00:35:02,579 Want a Coke? 494 00:35:02,630 --> 00:35:04,581 No, thanks. 495 00:35:07,218 --> 00:35:09,136 Ow! Shit! 496 00:35:13,057 --> 00:35:15,893 Ooh, baby. 497 00:35:28,739 --> 00:35:30,657 Aw, shut up. 498 00:35:33,777 --> 00:35:35,695 Don't. Stop it. 499 00:35:37,615 --> 00:35:40,250 Mr. Cheech. Huh? 500 00:35:40,284 --> 00:35:44,454 - Mr. Cheech. - Oh, he's in there, ma'am. 501 00:35:52,463 --> 00:35:54,431 Oh, there we go, baby. 502 00:35:59,887 --> 00:36:02,556 Now what is going on here? 503 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,892 This is an office, not a flophouse. 504 00:36:04,975 --> 00:36:07,477 I told you, man, you were gonna get me in trouble. 505 00:36:07,528 --> 00:36:09,479 Donna, I've been meaning to talk to you. 506 00:36:20,374 --> 00:36:22,325 I ain't gonna listen to you! 507 00:36:24,545 --> 00:36:26,496 Oh, shit. 508 00:36:26,547 --> 00:36:29,550 Stop that. Geez, man. 509 00:36:29,633 --> 00:36:33,053 Oh, man, I was just tryin' to find a quarter on the floor. Damn. 510 00:36:35,172 --> 00:36:37,140 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 511 00:36:37,174 --> 00:36:40,727 ♪ Don't you come back no more no more, no more, no more ♪ 512 00:36:40,811 --> 00:36:42,729 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 513 00:36:42,813 --> 00:36:46,683 ♪ Don't you come back no more ♪ ♪ What you say ♪ 514 00:36:46,767 --> 00:36:52,689 ♪ Hit the road, Jack Don't you come back no more no more, no more, no more ♪ 515 00:36:57,277 --> 00:37:00,446 ♪ Yeah, yeah, right there. Okay, let's try it. 516 00:37:00,531 --> 00:37:05,002 ♪ Mexican-Americans don't like to just get into gang fights ♪ 517 00:37:05,035 --> 00:37:07,921 ♪ They like flowers and music ♪ 518 00:37:08,005 --> 00:37:12,209 ♪ And white girls named Debbie too ♪ 519 00:37:12,292 --> 00:37:14,210 ♪ Mexican-Americans ♪ 520 00:37:14,261 --> 00:37:18,298 ♪ Are named Chata and Chilla and Chema ♪ 521 00:37:18,382 --> 00:37:22,018 ♪ And have a son-in-law named Jeff ♪ 522 00:37:22,052 --> 00:37:24,471 ♪ Mexican-Americans ♪ 523 00:37:24,555 --> 00:37:27,724 ♪ Don't like to get up early in the morning ♪ 524 00:37:27,775 --> 00:37:32,062 ♪ But they have to so they do it real slow ♪ 525 00:37:33,981 --> 00:37:37,401 ♪ Mexican-Americans love education ♪ 526 00:37:37,484 --> 00:37:42,121 ♪ So they go to night school and they take Spanish and get a "B" ♪ 527 00:37:43,624 --> 00:37:45,575 Yeah, just like that. 528 00:37:45,626 --> 00:37:48,879 ♪ Mexican-Americans love their nanas ♪ 529 00:37:48,912 --> 00:37:51,331 ♪ And their no-nos and their ninas ♪ 530 00:37:51,415 --> 00:37:56,086 ♪ And their ninos Nanu, nanu Nina, no, no ♪ 531 00:37:56,136 --> 00:37:58,087 ♪ Mexican-Americans ♪ 532 00:37:58,138 --> 00:38:00,089 ♪ Don't like to go to the movies ♪ 533 00:38:00,140 --> 00:38:02,809 ♪ Where the dude has to wear contact lenses ♪ 534 00:38:02,893 --> 00:38:04,811 ♪ To make his blue eyes brown ♪ 535 00:38:04,895 --> 00:38:07,931 ♪ 'Cause don't it make my brown eyes blue ♪ 536 00:38:08,015 --> 00:38:11,685 That's all I got. How do you like it? 537 00:38:11,769 --> 00:38:15,489 Oh, that's good. Oh, yeah. That's like a protest tune, man. 538 00:38:15,572 --> 00:38:19,525 Yeah, I-I dig that, man, but while you were singing that, I wrote another tune. 539 00:38:19,610 --> 00:38:21,528 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 540 00:38:21,612 --> 00:38:24,948 It's like the same thing, only different, you know. Do you wanna hear it? 541 00:38:25,032 --> 00:38:27,451 Yeah, let's hear it. It's like a little more rock 'n' roll in it. 542 00:38:27,501 --> 00:38:29,661 All right, we'll get down. It goes something like this. 543 00:38:33,624 --> 00:38:35,592 ♪ Beaners ♪ 544 00:38:37,845 --> 00:38:40,881 ♪ Beaners ♪ 545 00:38:40,964 --> 00:38:43,516 I gotta work a little more on the lyrics, you know. Yeah, that's heavy, man. 546 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,186 It's kinda like, you know... Yeah, I know. 547 00:38:47,271 --> 00:38:52,142 ♪ Beaners gonna ♪ 548 00:38:52,226 --> 00:38:56,029 Hello? ♪ Mexican-Americans like to answer telephones ♪ 549 00:38:56,113 --> 00:38:59,316 ♪ And say hello to whoever's on the other end ♪ ♪ Beaners ♪ 550 00:38:59,366 --> 00:39:01,368 Who's a tonto? 551 00:39:01,452 --> 00:39:05,706 ♪ Beaners Gonna eat beans ♪ 552 00:39:05,789 --> 00:39:07,907 Yeah. ♪ Beaners ♪ 553 00:39:07,991 --> 00:39:12,328 Oh, Donna. Hey, baby. Hey, I was just thinkin' about you. 554 00:39:12,379 --> 00:39:14,547 "Boin-oi-oing." 555 00:39:14,631 --> 00:39:17,717 Wait a minute. The blood's rushin' from my head. I'm gonna pass out. 556 00:39:17,801 --> 00:39:21,504 Hey, what you doin'? 557 00:39:21,588 --> 00:39:26,342 ♪ Beaners will kick ya in the face ♪ 558 00:39:26,426 --> 00:39:28,344 Hey, you wanna go out tonight? 559 00:39:28,395 --> 00:39:31,064 You do? 560 00:39:31,148 --> 00:39:34,851 I don't care. Anywhere. How about over here? ♪ Beaners gonna ♪ 561 00:39:34,902 --> 00:39:39,656 Oh, yeah? Yeah? Oh, well, yeah, yeah. Come by any time. 562 00:39:39,690 --> 00:39:42,526 I'll just be here. I'll be waiting with "balls" on. 563 00:39:42,609 --> 00:39:46,162 You're so too much. 564 00:39:46,196 --> 00:39:50,366 Okay, I'll see you in a little while. Hey, man. 565 00:39:50,417 --> 00:39:52,702 ♪ Beaners ♪ Hey, hey, hey, you gotta get out of here, man. 566 00:39:52,786 --> 00:39:54,871 Put down the... Put down your guitar. What happened? 567 00:39:54,955 --> 00:39:56,873 Come on. Donna's coming over, man. Who? 568 00:39:56,957 --> 00:39:59,009 Donna. Donna. Get outta here, man. 569 00:39:59,042 --> 00:40:01,210 Donna. You know, from the welfare office? Who's Donna? 570 00:40:01,261 --> 00:40:03,379 Donna, with the big "cha-cha bingos." Well, so what? 571 00:40:03,430 --> 00:40:07,467 Well, like, she's comin' over. I gotta clean up this place, so can you leave? 572 00:40:07,551 --> 00:40:10,554 I got nowhere to go. Go see a movie or somethin', man. 573 00:40:10,604 --> 00:40:13,306 Isn't there a biker movie or a "Gidget Ga-Ga Gets Gooey"... 574 00:40:13,390 --> 00:40:16,109 that started playin' down at the drive-in? I don't have any bread. 575 00:40:16,193 --> 00:40:19,145 I'll give you a dollar, man. I don't got any bread. 576 00:40:19,229 --> 00:40:22,565 Hey, man, just go take a walk or something for... 577 00:40:22,616 --> 00:40:25,068 The phone again. Oh, shit. She can't wait. 578 00:40:25,118 --> 00:40:28,204 Oh, so too much. ♪ Oh, Donna ♪ 579 00:40:28,238 --> 00:40:32,742 ♪ Oh, Donna What's happening, baby ♪ 580 00:40:32,793 --> 00:40:35,212 Who? DeWayne? 581 00:40:38,882 --> 00:40:42,752 Hi, Red. When did you get into town, man? 582 00:40:42,803 --> 00:40:47,390 Oh, yeah? Oh, it's so nice to hear from you. 583 00:40:47,424 --> 00:40:50,260 What's wrong? No, I don't have no money. 584 00:40:50,310 --> 00:40:54,263 Okay, where are you? Shit. 585 00:40:54,314 --> 00:40:56,983 What room? 586 00:40:57,067 --> 00:40:59,152 Well, I'll do what I can, man. 587 00:40:59,236 --> 00:41:02,572 All right, I'll be... All right, all right. I'll be right over. 588 00:41:02,606 --> 00:41:05,275 Yeah, sure. Oh, shit, man. 589 00:41:05,359 --> 00:41:07,277 Hey, do me a favor, will you please? 590 00:41:07,361 --> 00:41:09,863 It's my cousin on the phone. Well, he's kinda like a cousin. 591 00:41:09,947 --> 00:41:12,866 But, well, like, you know, we... He's a cousin. 592 00:41:12,950 --> 00:41:15,786 He's really a good dude, man. Yeah, he's a good dude. 593 00:41:15,836 --> 00:41:19,039 He's got plenty of dope and chicks, man. He likes to party. 594 00:41:19,122 --> 00:41:22,291 Why don't you just go over and party with him, okay? Should I bring him back here? 595 00:41:22,376 --> 00:41:24,961 No, man, don't bring him back here, man. 596 00:41:25,045 --> 00:41:27,464 He likes to go to clubs and concerts, you know, really get down. 597 00:41:27,547 --> 00:41:30,299 Just go and party with him. Where's he at? 598 00:41:30,384 --> 00:41:33,103 Oh, oh, he's at the hotel. Hold on. I'll get the thing right here. Yeah. 599 00:41:33,136 --> 00:41:37,056 He's over here, man. Why don't you just go party with him, man? 600 00:41:37,140 --> 00:41:42,145 I ain't got no dough, man. Oh, shit. Wait. Shit, I ain't got no money. 601 00:41:42,195 --> 00:41:46,866 What am I talking about? He's a Texas oil millionaire. You'll have a really good time. 602 00:41:46,950 --> 00:41:50,370 This guy, he's a part of our family, but we hardly ever see him. 603 00:41:50,454 --> 00:41:52,989 Tell him I said hi. Don't bring him over. 604 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,742 Tell him that we got smallpox or something. 605 00:41:55,826 --> 00:41:58,879 ♪ Tonight, tonight ♪ 606 00:41:58,962 --> 00:42:00,880 ♪ 607 00:42:00,964 --> 00:42:04,667 ♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey, hey ♪ 608 00:42:04,718 --> 00:42:08,671 ♪ Macho, macho man ♪ ♪ Macho man, yeah ♪ 609 00:42:08,722 --> 00:42:13,176 ♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪ ♪ I've got to be a macho ♪ 610 00:42:13,226 --> 00:42:16,012 Hey, thanks a lot, man. Okay, man. 611 00:42:16,096 --> 00:42:19,649 Wow, this is a great bike. Hey, are you sure I can't buy you a drink? 612 00:42:19,683 --> 00:42:22,519 Uh, no, thanks, man. Maybe some other time. 613 00:42:24,271 --> 00:42:27,007 Pity. 614 00:42:27,074 --> 00:42:31,027 How ya doin' there, man? How ya doin'? Merry Christmas. 615 00:42:33,697 --> 00:42:35,999 Hey, now, wait a minute. There's got to be some mistake. 616 00:42:36,033 --> 00:42:38,335 I thought you were talkin' about a week now. 617 00:42:38,368 --> 00:42:40,703 Ignorance of the law is no excuse. 618 00:42:40,787 --> 00:42:42,789 Well, wait a minute. You just said 37.50. 619 00:42:42,873 --> 00:42:45,458 You didn't say nothin' about no time or nothin'. 620 00:42:45,542 --> 00:42:48,962 What, do you have no brain? Well, come on. We gotta work out somethin' here. 621 00:42:49,046 --> 00:42:51,631 How about I could trade you somethin'. You like turquoise? 622 00:42:51,715 --> 00:42:54,134 I got this, uh, squashed blossom necklace from the Bisbee mine. 623 00:42:54,217 --> 00:42:56,135 That's gotta be worth somethin'. Bisbee mines? 624 00:42:56,219 --> 00:42:59,438 Sir, could you tell me what room DeWayne Mendoza's in? 625 00:42:59,523 --> 00:43:03,560 - Yeah, I could tell ya. - Cheech! 626 00:43:03,610 --> 00:43:07,063 Hey, you old piece of horseshit. How ya doin'? 627 00:43:07,114 --> 00:43:09,566 Goddamn it. It's good to see you. 628 00:43:09,616 --> 00:43:13,319 Oh, shit, I ain't seen you in so long! How ya doin'? Good, man. 629 00:43:13,403 --> 00:43:15,571 Goddamn, you got ugly. 630 00:43:15,622 --> 00:43:18,241 Hey, it's good to see you. How ya doin', boy? 631 00:43:18,291 --> 00:43:20,242 I ain't Cheech, man. What? 632 00:43:20,293 --> 00:43:22,378 No. I'm Cheech's friend, Chong. 633 00:43:22,412 --> 00:43:25,415 Hey, Ching, glad to meet ya. How ya doin'? My name's Red. 634 00:43:25,465 --> 00:43:29,051 DeWayne Mendoza. Everybody calls me Red though. You can call me Red. 635 00:43:29,086 --> 00:43:32,589 Hey, did he give you the money? No, he... We're broke, man. 636 00:43:32,639 --> 00:43:36,059 He just told me to come down and meet ya. He didn't give ya no money? 637 00:43:36,093 --> 00:43:38,095 N-No, we don't have no money. 638 00:43:38,178 --> 00:43:42,098 Oh, geez. Why? What's the matter, man? 639 00:43:42,149 --> 00:43:44,151 Well, I checked in to this hotel, right? 640 00:43:44,234 --> 00:43:49,105 The guy says 37.50, you know, so I thought he meant 37.50 a week, not a goddamn day. 641 00:43:49,156 --> 00:43:51,274 Now old Dilbert Dumb Butt is holdin' my luggage, 642 00:43:51,358 --> 00:43:53,943 and he won't give it up until I pay the bill, and I ain't got the money. 643 00:43:54,027 --> 00:43:57,330 Hey, well, let me talk to him, man. Yeah? 644 00:43:57,414 --> 00:44:00,950 Uh... Excuse me, sir. What do ya want? 645 00:44:01,001 --> 00:44:03,670 Uh, why don't you give him his luggage, man? 646 00:44:03,754 --> 00:44:07,124 'Cause he owes $262.50, 647 00:44:07,207 --> 00:44:11,127 and in another five minutes, it'll be an additional 37.50. 648 00:44:11,178 --> 00:44:14,881 Yeah, well, you know, why don't you just give him his luggage? 649 00:44:14,965 --> 00:44:18,468 Then we'll come back later and give you the bread. Why don't you forget life? 650 00:44:18,552 --> 00:44:21,221 Hey, listen, you little creep. Give him his fuckin' luggage. Let go of me! 651 00:44:21,304 --> 00:44:24,190 Why don't you let go? I know you are, but what am I? 652 00:44:24,274 --> 00:44:26,693 Listen, give him his luggage! Let me go, or I'll call the cops. 653 00:44:26,777 --> 00:44:30,280 Does it make you feel like a big man to beat people up? Give him his luggage, man. 654 00:44:30,313 --> 00:44:32,281 I'm gonna call the cops. Well, call the cops. 655 00:44:32,315 --> 00:44:35,818 Hey, Chang, come here. Hey, look, we don't wanna call the cops... 656 00:44:35,869 --> 00:44:37,820 'cause in my luggage I got some weed. Let me kill him, man. 657 00:44:37,871 --> 00:44:39,873 I got some weed in my luggage, you get it? Some weed? 658 00:44:39,956 --> 00:44:42,158 Yeah, see, I was gonna come down here with my cousin. 659 00:44:42,242 --> 00:44:46,162 Klaus. Eileen. 660 00:44:46,213 --> 00:44:48,748 Klaus. Klaus. Eileen. 661 00:44:48,832 --> 00:44:51,751 Klaus. Eileen, Eileen, Eileen. 662 00:44:51,835 --> 00:44:54,254 Knock, knock. Who's there? 663 00:44:55,889 --> 00:44:59,759 It's Irma. Irma who? 664 00:44:59,843 --> 00:45:03,563 Irma la Seduce. Ah-ha. 665 00:45:03,647 --> 00:45:06,316 Is Mr. Who-ha home? 666 00:45:06,349 --> 00:45:09,735 Just a minute. I'll see. 667 00:45:09,820 --> 00:45:13,023 Mm-hmm, but he's sleeping. 668 00:45:13,073 --> 00:45:16,025 Shall I get him up? 669 00:45:21,031 --> 00:45:23,917 Irma loves Klaus. Gimme Klaus. 670 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,169 Hey, Ching. Huh? 671 00:45:27,204 --> 00:45:31,174 Hey, how long you know my old cousin, man? A couple of years, man. 672 00:45:31,208 --> 00:45:34,211 Yeah, I haven't seen that old boy in about ten years, man. 673 00:45:34,261 --> 00:45:36,546 The old shit for brains. 674 00:45:36,596 --> 00:45:38,547 Hey, does he still dress funny? 675 00:45:38,598 --> 00:45:40,716 He still wearin' them little hats? 676 00:45:40,767 --> 00:45:43,636 Man, them low riders never give up, man. I swear to God. 677 00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:48,307 Is this it, man? Yeah, that's it, man. My stuff's right inside. 678 00:45:48,391 --> 00:45:52,278 Oh, it's got bars on here, man. Oh, shit, well, how we gonna get in? 679 00:45:52,362 --> 00:45:54,280 Oh. 680 00:45:54,364 --> 00:45:57,734 Oh, goddamn, King Kong. Get it. 681 00:45:57,784 --> 00:46:00,987 Man, this is supposed to keep people out, man. Look at this, man. 682 00:46:01,071 --> 00:46:04,657 I wanna see my cousin, man. I haven't seen him in about ten years, man. 683 00:46:04,741 --> 00:46:08,294 I just been back in the hills chokin' my chicken. 684 00:46:08,378 --> 00:46:11,414 All right, Del Rey, go to it. 685 00:46:14,834 --> 00:46:17,970 Who is it? 686 00:46:18,054 --> 00:46:21,590 Damn. 687 00:46:21,641 --> 00:46:23,592 Hey, Wild Bill, wait for me. 688 00:46:23,643 --> 00:46:25,978 Neighbors? We'll keep it down. 689 00:46:29,015 --> 00:46:31,484 Oh, hey, how ya doin'? 690 00:46:31,568 --> 00:46:34,153 What? Who, who, who? Hippies! 691 00:46:34,237 --> 00:46:38,491 They're hippies? Hey, we're just lookin' for some luggage. Relax. 692 00:46:38,575 --> 00:46:40,493 Do these rooms connect? Who is... 693 00:46:40,577 --> 00:46:42,779 Do something. 694 00:46:42,829 --> 00:46:46,032 - Who are you? - Don't you lay a hand on me. 695 00:46:46,116 --> 00:46:50,286 Oh, Eileen, don't now. Don't, don't... You'll never get me. 696 00:46:50,337 --> 00:46:52,922 Don't, don't, don't. They're big men. There was a bag, 697 00:46:52,956 --> 00:46:56,042 and a duffle bag and a tape recorder. 698 00:46:56,126 --> 00:46:59,846 What do you want? Did you see a tape recorder? 699 00:46:59,930 --> 00:47:04,467 You'd love to get me! You touch me, and you're dead! Shh, don't aggravate them. 700 00:47:04,517 --> 00:47:07,937 We didn't... I know a lot of cops. 701 00:47:07,971 --> 00:47:11,891 Do you mind telling me what you do with this? Don't touch me. 702 00:47:11,975 --> 00:47:13,860 What else is there? You'd like to touch me. 703 00:47:13,944 --> 00:47:17,697 You're upset. Boing! 704 00:47:17,781 --> 00:47:20,316 Offenders! This is not mine. 705 00:47:20,367 --> 00:47:22,869 The police. This is... The police. 706 00:47:22,953 --> 00:47:25,989 The police. I'll kill you before I'll let you lay a finger on me. 707 00:47:26,039 --> 00:47:31,327 Get away from me now. We have the wrong room. Can you believe that? 708 00:47:31,378 --> 00:47:34,998 I'm talking to the cops right now, thank you very much, ma'am. 709 00:47:36,883 --> 00:47:40,253 Yes. This is the real thing this time. 710 00:47:40,337 --> 00:47:44,257 Come on, please. There's two crazies in here tearing up the place. 711 00:47:44,341 --> 00:47:49,229 I already told you where we're located. 712 00:47:49,312 --> 00:47:51,514 Well, what are they doing, walking over here? 713 00:47:51,598 --> 00:47:55,018 Look, I think they're Iranians. 714 00:47:55,101 --> 00:47:57,236 Okay, thank you very much. 715 00:48:13,670 --> 00:48:16,873 Okay, here comes the radio. Be careful with it. 716 00:48:16,956 --> 00:48:19,541 There you go. All right. 717 00:48:19,626 --> 00:48:21,711 There goes the weed. Weed? 718 00:48:21,761 --> 00:48:24,213 You gotta be real careful. Here's the suitcase. Here. 719 00:48:24,297 --> 00:48:26,215 Hey, man, I said be careful with that. Weed? 720 00:48:26,299 --> 00:48:30,052 Man, if you break it, that's worth a lotta money. Shit. 721 00:48:30,136 --> 00:48:32,721 Holy Jesus! 722 00:48:32,806 --> 00:48:35,608 I brought down one bush, man. That's just the top. 723 00:48:35,692 --> 00:48:39,278 Buds, man! Yeah, I didn't know how much to bring down. 724 00:48:39,362 --> 00:48:43,065 They smell good, don't they? Holy Christ! How much you got in here? 725 00:48:43,149 --> 00:48:45,401 That's just one bush. That's just the top. 726 00:48:45,452 --> 00:48:47,403 I just brought enough to party with. 727 00:48:47,454 --> 00:48:49,989 I got a whole field of 'em. Fields everywhere. 728 00:48:50,073 --> 00:48:53,242 They just grow wild everywhere, man. Oh, wow. 729 00:48:53,293 --> 00:48:56,629 That's all I smoke, man. I throw the rest of it to my hogs, man. 730 00:48:56,713 --> 00:49:01,968 Buds, man, look at this. Yeah, I thought we'd party with some, maybe smoke some. 731 00:49:02,052 --> 00:49:03,970 You think we can sell some of that shit? 732 00:49:04,054 --> 00:49:06,056 Oh, man, you know how much this stuff's worth? 733 00:49:06,089 --> 00:49:09,392 Oh, I don't know. I've been outta circulation a little bit. Hundred bucks? 734 00:49:09,426 --> 00:49:13,763 Twenty-five hundred bucks a pound, man. 735 00:49:13,813 --> 00:49:16,315 Are you shittin' me? Jesus! 736 00:49:16,399 --> 00:49:20,770 Twenty-five hundred bucks a pound? You got about 20 pounds. 737 00:49:20,854 --> 00:49:23,740 Holy shit. We're rich. We're rich, man! 738 00:49:23,773 --> 00:49:27,743 Goddamn. Well, come on, tycoon. Let's go party. Right. 739 00:49:27,777 --> 00:49:30,946 Do you like the way them sticks are tied up? Buds, man. 740 00:49:31,030 --> 00:49:34,366 Yeah, we had a bunch of boat people moved into the neighborhood. 741 00:49:34,451 --> 00:49:37,954 I couldn't believe it. I put 'em to work. They work like hell. 742 00:49:38,037 --> 00:49:40,639 They don't smoke half the shit like Mexicans do. 743 00:49:40,673 --> 00:49:42,641 Hey, just feed 'em a bowl of rice a day, 744 00:49:42,675 --> 00:49:46,679 or the Cocoa Puffs or Rice Krispies or whatever, they're happy as hell. 745 00:49:46,729 --> 00:49:48,680 Oh, shit, listen to that. 746 00:49:48,765 --> 00:49:51,267 It's the cops. Oh, God, I'm gonna get this on tape here. 747 00:49:51,351 --> 00:49:53,269 Here, hold this. I wanna get this on tape. 748 00:49:53,353 --> 00:49:55,521 I use this to scare away the deer in the field. 749 00:49:55,605 --> 00:49:58,190 I play it, but I... Come on. I want it. Come on. 750 00:49:58,274 --> 00:50:00,526 I wanna get this recorded. This is gonna be great. 751 00:50:00,577 --> 00:50:02,495 I'll turn it up real loud, so... 752 00:50:02,529 --> 00:50:06,232 Come on. This is gonna be great. 753 00:50:23,149 --> 00:50:27,486 All right, move these people back. Move 'em back. Get back. 754 00:50:27,537 --> 00:50:29,822 You in there, you are under arrest. 755 00:50:29,906 --> 00:50:32,875 Come out now and you won't get hurt. 756 00:50:32,959 --> 00:50:36,128 I said come out, or we're coming in to get you. Get down. Get down. 757 00:50:36,162 --> 00:50:39,048 We have the place surrounded. You have two minutes. 758 00:50:39,132 --> 00:50:41,834 Come out now and... 759 00:50:41,885 --> 00:50:45,638 Get these people away from me! Get these people back now! 760 00:50:45,672 --> 00:50:48,591 That's the guys right there! Come out with your hands up. 761 00:50:48,675 --> 00:50:51,511 Somebody take care of this man. Let go, you fuckin' asshole! 762 00:50:51,594 --> 00:50:55,431 I'm the guy who called! 763 00:50:55,515 --> 00:50:58,651 Why don't you just kill me? Let me go! 764 00:50:58,685 --> 00:51:03,656 You fucking assholes! Get off me! Let me go! You fuckin' morons! 765 00:51:03,690 --> 00:51:07,944 Let me go, man! Attica! Attica! Attica! 766 00:51:08,027 --> 00:51:10,162 Let me go! I'm fragile! 767 00:51:10,196 --> 00:51:13,866 Move along. Come out now, and you won't get hurt. 768 00:51:13,950 --> 00:51:16,585 You are under arrest. We have the place surrounded. 769 00:51:16,669 --> 00:51:20,706 - Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, I'm in! - Come out or... 770 00:51:20,757 --> 00:51:24,710 Goddamn, Chang. Hey, this is excitin', man. 771 00:51:24,794 --> 00:51:28,881 I'm glad I met you, Chang. Oh, man, I'm glad I met you, man. 772 00:51:28,932 --> 00:51:32,719 This town has been so dry, man. You wouldn't believe it. 773 00:51:32,769 --> 00:51:36,105 Hey, where'd you get a name like Ching? You don't look like a Ching. 774 00:51:36,189 --> 00:51:38,140 My dad's Chinese, man. What's your mama? 775 00:51:38,224 --> 00:51:40,059 She's a waitress. Oh. 776 00:51:40,109 --> 00:51:43,395 I thought you got named like they named Chinese babies. 777 00:51:43,479 --> 00:51:46,148 They take silverware and throw it in the air and it comes down and goes, 778 00:51:46,232 --> 00:51:48,734 ching-chang-chong, bing-bang-bong. 779 00:51:48,818 --> 00:51:51,036 You get it? 780 00:51:51,070 --> 00:51:53,906 Damn, I can't stand long pants, man. 781 00:51:53,957 --> 00:51:56,326 - Whoo! - Don't cut yourself. Whoo! 782 00:51:56,409 --> 00:51:58,544 You guys wanna go to a party? Yeah. 783 00:51:58,578 --> 00:52:00,713 Hell yeah! Here it is. 784 00:52:00,747 --> 00:52:05,418 All right! Hey, listen, you guys have any, uh, blow? 785 00:52:05,501 --> 00:52:08,253 What? You know. 786 00:52:08,304 --> 00:52:10,306 No. Oh, here. Use my sleeve. 787 00:52:10,390 --> 00:52:12,759 Forget it! 788 00:52:12,809 --> 00:52:15,511 Hey, uh... Whoo! What's this here? 789 00:52:15,595 --> 00:52:19,265 It says, "Good for massage or enema." I'll take the massage. 790 00:52:19,349 --> 00:52:23,436 Come on. Let's go, man. This sounds like good fun. Holy sheep shit. 791 00:52:34,247 --> 00:52:36,582 Okay, gentlemen, would you come with me, please. 792 00:52:36,616 --> 00:52:39,168 Hey, we'll come any way you want. 793 00:52:39,252 --> 00:52:41,454 With you or with them or with anybody. 794 00:52:41,504 --> 00:52:45,257 Put us in the same room 'cause we wanna party, okay? 795 00:52:45,291 --> 00:52:47,793 Hold it, boys. Have a seat and I'll be right back. 796 00:52:47,844 --> 00:52:51,714 Oh. Okay. Well, hurry up or we'll start without you. 797 00:52:51,798 --> 00:52:55,468 Ooh, you see the way them legs both make an ass of themselves. 798 00:52:55,518 --> 00:52:59,021 Hey, let's party! Come on. 799 00:52:59,105 --> 00:53:02,691 Wanna choose up sides and smell armpits? I got you. 800 00:53:02,775 --> 00:53:05,394 Damn, this is great, man. 801 00:53:05,478 --> 00:53:09,732 Damn, you look funny. 802 00:53:09,816 --> 00:53:12,151 Hey, the water's gettin' warmer. 803 00:53:12,201 --> 00:53:15,153 Yeah, and yellower too. 804 00:53:16,456 --> 00:53:20,159 Ahh. Ah, man. Do you get it? 805 00:53:20,209 --> 00:53:22,961 Ah, I'm gettin' outta here. Hey, can we have some towels? 806 00:53:22,996 --> 00:53:25,248 Damn, you're nasty. 807 00:53:25,331 --> 00:53:28,834 Now you just let me know if there's anything else I can get for you. 808 00:53:28,918 --> 00:53:30,836 Oh, anything? Yes. 809 00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:32,838 Oh, how about joining us? 810 00:53:32,922 --> 00:53:36,342 Hey, we live by the lake. Drop in any time. 811 00:53:36,426 --> 00:53:40,596 Hey, you wanna party? Come on. Hey, let's party. 812 00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:43,766 How you guys doin'? 813 00:53:43,850 --> 00:53:47,320 I think your leg's a little obscure there. 814 00:53:47,353 --> 00:53:49,438 That ain't my leg. 815 00:53:49,522 --> 00:53:53,275 Hey! Hey, you wanna party? Hey! 816 00:53:53,359 --> 00:53:55,944 Don't drink the water, whatever you do. 817 00:54:01,284 --> 00:54:03,202 Where'd ya go? 818 00:54:03,286 --> 00:54:05,538 Hey, where'd ya go? 819 00:54:07,757 --> 00:54:10,209 Hey! 820 00:54:10,293 --> 00:54:12,678 Holy sheep shit! 821 00:54:12,712 --> 00:54:15,381 Goddamn! 822 00:54:16,599 --> 00:54:20,719 How... How ya do that? 823 00:54:20,803 --> 00:54:22,721 Goddamn! 824 00:54:25,475 --> 00:54:28,227 Goddamn! Hey, Chong! 825 00:54:28,311 --> 00:54:31,397 Hey, hey, Chong! Goddamn! Come here and look at this here! 826 00:54:31,481 --> 00:54:33,399 Hey, Chong! 827 00:54:33,483 --> 00:54:35,401 Charlie. 828 00:54:35,485 --> 00:54:37,620 What? Time up. 829 00:54:37,704 --> 00:54:40,490 I haven't crowed yet. Ohh, crow. 830 00:54:45,078 --> 00:54:48,631 Charlie, untie me! Untie me, Charlie! 831 00:54:48,715 --> 00:54:51,417 Charlie. Hey. Hey, that was neat, man! 832 00:54:55,088 --> 00:54:57,090 Charlie, goddamn it. 833 00:54:57,173 --> 00:55:01,477 Never mind. You're gettin' out. Now get your clothes and get the hell outta here! 834 00:55:01,561 --> 00:55:04,564 Oh, hiya, Charlie. How ya doin'? Nice to see ya. Tony. 835 00:55:04,597 --> 00:55:06,932 Hi. How are you? Hi. You got a nice smile on your face. 836 00:55:07,016 --> 00:55:09,935 Candy been takin' good care of ya? 837 00:55:11,904 --> 00:55:14,773 Yes. Uh, in fact, she's one of your best girls. 838 00:55:14,857 --> 00:55:17,993 You're telling me? You know, she's an actress. Really? 839 00:55:18,077 --> 00:55:20,446 Oh, indeed! She's got her own answering service. 840 00:55:20,530 --> 00:55:25,418 She's got an eight-by-ten glossy of herself. She came in second on a mouthwash commercial. 841 00:55:27,203 --> 00:55:29,288 That was fun, man. 842 00:55:29,372 --> 00:55:32,291 Hey, listen. 843 00:55:32,375 --> 00:55:34,293 Hey, listen. 844 00:55:36,679 --> 00:55:39,631 What, are they fightin'? No, no, they're gettin' it on. 845 00:55:39,715 --> 00:55:43,468 I wanna record this. This'll scare the hell outta the deer, man. 846 00:55:43,519 --> 00:55:47,573 And... record. 847 00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:50,976 You in there, you are under arrest! 848 00:55:51,027 --> 00:55:53,646 Come out now, and you won't get hurt. 849 00:55:53,729 --> 00:55:56,882 I said come out, or we're coming in to get you. 850 00:55:56,949 --> 00:56:00,319 - We have the place surrounded. - Come on, Senator, let's get outta here! 851 00:56:00,403 --> 00:56:03,038 It's a raid! - Come out now. 852 00:56:03,122 --> 00:56:06,959 Get those people away from me! Get these people back now! 853 00:56:06,993 --> 00:56:10,463 Come out now, and you won't get hurt. 854 00:56:10,496 --> 00:56:14,666 Oh, my God! 855 00:56:22,842 --> 00:56:25,511 Hey, it's a raid! 856 00:56:25,595 --> 00:56:27,513 Look out! Run! 857 00:56:27,597 --> 00:56:32,018 All right! I'm comin' to get ya! 858 00:56:32,068 --> 00:56:34,820 Hey, it's a hop frog. Let me do it! Let me do it! 859 00:56:34,854 --> 00:56:38,190 Hey, what's the matter, little lady? You're all hung up. 860 00:56:38,241 --> 00:56:40,943 Hey there, I'll cut you loose. Let go there. 861 00:56:41,027 --> 00:56:43,579 Oh, there you go! You're free! You have a new record. 862 00:56:46,282 --> 00:56:50,035 I didn't know massage parlors were like that, man. ♪ 863 00:56:50,086 --> 00:56:52,288 That was... Goddamn, that was fun! 864 00:56:52,371 --> 00:56:56,425 Why don't you wait for me? Where are ya going? Can I go with you? 865 00:56:56,509 --> 00:56:59,545 Oh, hell yeah! You can go with us, man. 866 00:56:59,595 --> 00:57:03,215 Oh, that was fun. He wouldn't untie me. 867 00:57:03,266 --> 00:57:05,217 No. No. 868 00:57:05,268 --> 00:57:08,554 Hey, we never did get a massage, did we? 869 00:57:08,604 --> 00:57:11,607 Hey, I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Yeah. Let's go eat. 870 00:57:11,691 --> 00:57:15,277 All right, let's eat. Hey, get over there! It's a raid! 871 00:57:18,948 --> 00:57:22,618 ♪ Sittin' in a la-la Waitin' for my ya-ya ♪ 872 00:57:22,702 --> 00:57:25,237 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 873 00:57:25,288 --> 00:57:27,957 ♪ Sittin' in a la-la Waitin' for my ya-ya ♪ 874 00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:30,992 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 875 00:57:31,077 --> 00:57:34,046 ♪ It may sound funny but I don't believe she's comin' ♪ 876 00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,299 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 877 00:57:37,383 --> 00:57:40,052 Hey, baby. Come on, bitch. 878 00:57:40,086 --> 00:57:43,639 Shit! I got a lot of shit to do. 879 00:57:53,816 --> 00:57:55,767 Shit. 880 00:57:59,438 --> 00:58:02,607 Shit, if that bitch don't get here pretty soon, 881 00:58:02,692 --> 00:58:05,194 I'll have to wait some more. 882 00:58:07,113 --> 00:58:11,283 ♪ Hey, baby blue You don't make me woo Uh-huh ♪ 883 00:58:11,367 --> 00:58:13,285 Yes, can I help you? 884 00:58:13,369 --> 00:58:16,121 Yes, I'd like to buy a classical guitar, please. 885 00:58:16,205 --> 00:58:18,924 You're looking at one. Real antique, this one. 886 00:58:18,958 --> 00:58:21,961 That sounds really nice. How much is it? 887 00:58:22,044 --> 00:58:24,513 It's not for sale. That's our prized possession. 888 00:58:24,597 --> 00:58:28,517 ...that's when I said, "Whenever you're in town, I'll keep an eye out for ya." 889 00:58:28,601 --> 00:58:31,470 You get it? Huh? 890 00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:35,891 She only had one eye, so I said, "I'll keep an eye out for ya." 891 00:58:35,975 --> 00:58:41,146 Oh, wow. Oh, you'll get it later. 892 00:58:41,197 --> 00:58:43,983 Oh, holy sheep shit! 893 00:58:44,066 --> 00:58:46,785 Goddamn, it's guitar heaven! 894 00:58:46,819 --> 00:58:50,489 I died and went to guitar heaven. Goddamn, look at all... 895 00:58:54,126 --> 00:58:56,606 All right, man! What the hell do ya think you're doin'? Huh? 896 00:58:58,247 --> 00:59:00,749 ♪ Treat me like a fool ♪ 897 00:59:00,833 --> 00:59:03,669 ♪ Treat me mean and cruel ♪ 898 00:59:03,719 --> 00:59:06,471 ♪ Whoa-ho, love me ♪ 899 00:59:06,505 --> 00:59:09,424 I'm just tryin' it out, man. Aah! Ah! 900 00:59:09,508 --> 00:59:13,261 Hey, hey, that's enough of that. What the hell, are you in the Rolling Stones? 901 00:59:13,346 --> 00:59:15,765 What's the matter with you? Got a wild hair up your ass? 902 00:59:18,351 --> 00:59:21,737 No, not here! Go, go, go, go. 903 00:59:21,821 --> 00:59:24,990 That guy got flustered, huh? Hey, cutie pie, how you doin'? 904 00:59:25,024 --> 00:59:28,110 Far out! 905 00:59:41,924 --> 00:59:44,509 Holy sheep shit! Whoo! 906 00:59:44,543 --> 00:59:47,379 Goddamn, that was fun! 907 00:59:47,430 --> 00:59:51,434 Hey, I'm hungry. You hungry? Goddamn cheap amplifiers. 908 00:59:51,517 --> 00:59:56,021 Hey, come on. Let's get somethin' to eat. Goddamn, man, did you see... 909 00:59:56,055 --> 00:59:59,892 ♪ Whoo! 910 01:00:05,448 --> 01:00:07,566 Whoa, look at that car! 911 01:00:07,616 --> 01:00:10,485 I'm callin' the cops! You ruined my store! 912 01:00:13,289 --> 01:00:16,375 Here, there ya go. 913 01:00:16,409 --> 01:00:18,461 Wait a minute. Wait! Give us a ride, okay? 914 01:00:18,544 --> 01:00:20,879 We're gonna go get something to eat. What are you doing? 915 01:00:20,913 --> 01:00:25,133 We're just gonna get something. To eat. Let's go. Come on. She's gonna give us a ride. 916 01:00:25,217 --> 01:00:28,053 Hey, thanks a lot. We really appreciate it. Look, I have to go. 917 01:00:28,087 --> 01:00:30,589 Hop on that gas. Look, if you don't get outta here... 918 01:00:30,639 --> 01:00:32,590 Hold on. Okay... 919 01:00:36,145 --> 01:00:39,097 ♪ 920 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,351 All right, wait a minute. 921 01:00:48,908 --> 01:00:51,944 Gonna raise the bar bill till midnight! 922 01:00:51,994 --> 01:00:54,613 ♪ 923 01:00:54,663 --> 01:00:57,532 Holy sheep shit! 924 01:00:57,616 --> 01:01:01,753 Hoorah! We're here! 925 01:01:01,787 --> 01:01:04,089 We're home! 926 01:01:11,797 --> 01:01:13,765 Come on. Whoo! 927 01:01:16,435 --> 01:01:20,639 Hey, there's enough room for the Russian Army in this goddamn place. 928 01:01:20,723 --> 01:01:23,308 Whoo! Hey. 929 01:01:23,359 --> 01:01:25,060 Goddamn. You live here, huh? 930 01:01:25,144 --> 01:01:28,147 Hey, open up! We've come for your daughters! Hello! 931 01:01:28,230 --> 01:01:30,482 Hey! Hey! Hello! Hello! 932 01:01:40,826 --> 01:01:44,329 - Hey. Hey! - How ya doin'? 933 01:01:44,380 --> 01:01:46,882 No, you have to leave right now! Holy sheep shit! 934 01:01:46,966 --> 01:01:49,335 Look at the size of this goddamn place! Go away! 935 01:01:49,418 --> 01:01:51,803 Missy, who are all these people? 936 01:01:51,837 --> 01:01:54,256 I don't know. You don't know? 937 01:01:54,340 --> 01:01:56,675 We can only stay a month. 938 01:01:56,725 --> 01:02:01,012 Hey, hurry back! Come on. Let's have some fun. Goddamn, look at this place. 939 01:02:01,063 --> 01:02:03,932 Whoa. Boy, we're shittin' in top cotton now. 940 01:02:04,016 --> 01:02:07,152 Goddamn! Well, what cute outfits you have. 941 01:02:07,186 --> 01:02:09,855 Now let me guess which ones you are. Now, let's see. 942 01:02:09,905 --> 01:02:12,824 You're the cowardly lion, right? Yeah! 943 01:02:12,858 --> 01:02:17,529 But you have a heart. And let's see. You're Glenda, the good witch of the north. 944 01:02:17,580 --> 01:02:20,749 That's her. But you forgot your skirt. 945 01:02:20,833 --> 01:02:23,418 And let's see. Oh, uh... Dum-du-dum. 946 01:02:23,502 --> 01:02:27,038 Well, you're Toto, right? Yeah, he's Toto. 947 01:02:27,122 --> 01:02:31,593 I know I have some treats somewhere in the house for you, but you have to do a trick. 948 01:02:31,677 --> 01:02:35,881 All right. Estrellita, muy grande la pinata, por favor. 949 01:02:35,965 --> 01:02:39,268 Goddamn, look at this place. Holy sheep shit! 950 01:02:39,351 --> 01:02:41,269 Goddamn. 951 01:02:41,353 --> 01:02:45,640 Oh, God, look at that frog spear here. Goddamn. 952 01:02:54,783 --> 01:02:56,818 There's the cat. 953 01:03:03,576 --> 01:03:07,580 Ooo-ooo, I got something for you. Do you want Ho-Hums or Dodos? 954 01:03:07,663 --> 01:03:10,882 How energetic. That cat never jumped that high before. 955 01:03:10,916 --> 01:03:13,802 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 956 01:03:21,427 --> 01:03:24,680 Yes, right through here. There's plenty of room for everybody. 957 01:03:24,763 --> 01:03:28,650 Maybe if you, uh, sit, uh... Hey, get in there, little filly. 958 01:03:28,734 --> 01:03:31,937 Well, that's usually Daddy's... Hey, come on! Let's eat! 959 01:03:32,021 --> 01:03:34,823 Chasin' "pussy" makes me hungry. 960 01:03:34,907 --> 01:03:36,608 Oh. Well, yes. 961 01:03:36,659 --> 01:03:41,030 Estrellita, uh, tres mucho platos por la dinner. 962 01:03:41,113 --> 01:03:43,048 Eeew, God. Get outta here. 963 01:04:01,467 --> 01:04:05,888 So, when my baby was seven years old she started her riding lessons. 964 01:04:05,971 --> 01:04:08,640 They were so... Oh, Charles, surprise. 965 01:04:08,724 --> 01:04:12,561 It's our 25th wedding anniversary and we have guests. 966 01:04:12,645 --> 01:04:14,730 Charlie! 967 01:04:18,901 --> 01:04:22,821 Hey, it's Chicken Charlie! 968 01:04:22,905 --> 01:04:24,823 ♪ I'm goin' up ♪ 969 01:04:24,907 --> 01:04:27,993 ♪ ♪ I'm goin' down ♪ 970 01:04:28,077 --> 01:04:31,830 ♪ I'm goin' up, down down, up ♪ 971 01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:35,967 ♪ Any way you want me Let's go ♪ 972 01:04:37,670 --> 01:04:40,472 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 973 01:04:40,506 --> 01:04:44,259 ♪ Yeah ♪ 974 01:04:45,594 --> 01:04:49,347 ♪ You got me doin' what you want me ♪ 975 01:04:49,398 --> 01:04:54,319 ♪ Baby, what you want me to do ♪ 976 01:04:57,106 --> 01:05:00,409 ♪ Yeah ♪ 977 01:05:00,492 --> 01:05:02,410 Oh, beautiful. 978 01:05:02,494 --> 01:05:05,246 Now sing "This Land Was Your Land." Okay. 979 01:05:05,331 --> 01:05:07,199 No! No! 980 01:05:07,249 --> 01:05:09,334 Let's do somethin' different. 981 01:05:09,368 --> 01:05:12,337 Uh, how about let's do a magic trick. Wanna see a magic trick? 982 01:05:12,371 --> 01:05:15,040 Yes. Oh, all right. I'll do a magic trick. 983 01:05:15,090 --> 01:05:18,126 Let's see. What can we do? Oh, I know. 984 01:05:18,210 --> 01:05:21,130 All right, I need somebody to help me. Who wants to help me? Me, me, me. 985 01:05:21,180 --> 01:05:22,681 Who? Who? Me! 986 01:05:22,715 --> 01:05:24,550 Oh, how 'bout you? Oh, okay. 987 01:05:24,633 --> 01:05:26,384 All right, what's this? A napkin. 988 01:05:26,468 --> 01:05:29,270 All right, what's that? Oh, the other side of the napkin. 989 01:05:29,355 --> 01:05:32,358 Very good. Oh, you've been to school, huh? Yeah. 990 01:05:32,391 --> 01:05:35,026 Now I'm gonna take this napkin here and take this roll... 991 01:05:35,060 --> 01:05:37,228 and put it in the middle of the napkin. 992 01:05:37,279 --> 01:05:38,863 Uh-huh. What's that? 993 01:05:38,897 --> 01:05:40,782 Roll. Okay, what's that? 994 01:05:40,866 --> 01:05:43,151 Napkin. Very good. 995 01:05:43,235 --> 01:05:45,153 You're still with me. Yeah. 996 01:05:45,237 --> 01:05:49,157 Now the trick part of this magic trick is I'm gonna turn this here roll... 997 01:05:49,241 --> 01:05:51,176 into a piece of fruit. 998 01:05:51,243 --> 01:05:53,161 No. 999 01:05:53,245 --> 01:05:55,880 Yeah, right before your very eyes. 1000 01:05:55,914 --> 01:05:58,499 This is exciting! Okay, but I need your help. 1001 01:05:58,584 --> 01:06:02,087 Okay. I need you to hold the end of that roll right there. 1002 01:06:02,137 --> 01:06:04,088 That's a roll, right? Yeah. 1003 01:06:04,139 --> 01:06:06,508 Hold it good and tight. Don't let it go. No. 1004 01:06:06,592 --> 01:06:10,596 Now, we're gonna turn it and roll it and roll it and mark it with a "B"... 1005 01:06:10,679 --> 01:06:13,982 and say the magic words: Abracadabra, hocus-pocus. 1006 01:06:14,066 --> 01:06:16,601 Hope it don't poke us in the eye. 1007 01:06:16,652 --> 01:06:19,521 And rub it like that there. What did I say I was gonna do? 1008 01:06:19,605 --> 01:06:22,941 Turn it into a piece of fruit. Okay, well, you tell me. 1009 01:06:22,991 --> 01:06:25,943 Ain't that a peach? 1010 01:06:28,664 --> 01:06:31,166 Do ya get it? I don't get it. 1011 01:06:31,250 --> 01:06:35,420 Ain't that a peach? See, that's a peach. See? Do ya get it? 1012 01:06:35,454 --> 01:06:37,672 I don't get it. 1013 01:06:37,756 --> 01:06:40,458 A peach, man! A peach! Do ya get it? 1014 01:06:43,629 --> 01:06:47,015 It's a peach! It's a peach. You don't get... 1015 01:06:47,099 --> 01:06:49,801 ♪ You got me running ♪ 1016 01:06:49,852 --> 01:06:52,304 ♪ You got me hiding ♪ 1017 01:06:52,387 --> 01:06:55,807 ♪ You got me wrong, right all right ♪ 1018 01:06:55,858 --> 01:06:58,894 ♪ Any way you want me It's a peach ♪ 1019 01:07:04,483 --> 01:07:07,786 All right, Grandma, you're too much. That smell is so good. 1020 01:07:07,820 --> 01:07:10,906 It's like a sachet or a potpourri, isn't it? 1021 01:07:10,989 --> 01:07:13,124 Oh, it's homegrown. 1022 01:07:13,158 --> 01:07:16,794 Here, have some. Oh, I garden myself, you know. 1023 01:07:16,829 --> 01:07:18,997 All right. Well, that's great stuff. 1024 01:07:19,047 --> 01:07:22,133 That's "senseamia," needless to say. 1025 01:07:26,138 --> 01:07:30,809 Hey, can you read between the lines? How about shorthand? 1026 01:07:30,843 --> 01:07:33,512 Watch the road! Watch the road. Okay. 1027 01:07:33,562 --> 01:07:38,266 What's green and red and goes 105 miles an hour? 1028 01:07:38,350 --> 01:07:41,486 I don't know. A frog in a blender. 1029 01:07:43,856 --> 01:07:47,693 Ohh, my. I'm going to adopt you, okay? 1030 01:07:52,531 --> 01:07:55,250 Hey, don't bogart it now, Grandma. 1031 01:07:55,334 --> 01:07:57,536 You can live in the room under the stairs. 1032 01:07:59,705 --> 01:08:02,040 Like a troll. 1033 01:08:05,210 --> 01:08:07,462 That could be a "troll bridge." 1034 01:08:09,882 --> 01:08:12,384 Hey, gimme another hit, Del Rey! 1035 01:08:12,467 --> 01:08:15,436 Ooh. Ohh. 1036 01:08:15,521 --> 01:08:17,523 Watch the road. Okay. 1037 01:08:17,556 --> 01:08:20,025 Where's it gonna go? 1038 01:08:22,644 --> 01:08:24,862 We're not moving. That's right. 1039 01:08:24,897 --> 01:08:28,901 Oh, look at that traffic light. Isn't that pretty? 1040 01:08:28,984 --> 01:08:33,788 Ohh. Daddy, can we have those for our Christmas tree? 1041 01:08:36,208 --> 01:08:38,743 They change color too. 1042 01:08:42,748 --> 01:08:46,251 Oh, I wanna go down here. Can we go down here? Where? Where? 1043 01:08:46,335 --> 01:08:49,588 Ooh, the Comedy House. I wanna laugh. I wanna laugh. I wanna laugh. 1044 01:08:49,638 --> 01:08:54,342 Oh, the Comedy House. Okay, here we go. Hey, we're comin' over! 1045 01:08:54,426 --> 01:08:57,345 ♪ 1046 01:09:08,407 --> 01:09:11,326 ♪ 1047 01:09:28,961 --> 01:09:30,879 ♪ Mm-hmm ♪ 1048 01:09:45,477 --> 01:09:49,113 Thank you. Thank you so much. 1049 01:09:49,147 --> 01:09:53,534 Oh, it's so good to be here. So, I... Shh, shh. Some outstanding... 1050 01:09:53,619 --> 01:09:56,071 entertainment coming up. 1051 01:09:56,154 --> 01:10:00,241 And our first comedian, he's been appearing at the Pico Riveria... 1052 01:10:00,325 --> 01:10:02,493 last couple of weeks and the Holiday Inn. 1053 01:10:02,577 --> 01:10:05,329 He's just knockin' 'em down. 1054 01:10:05,414 --> 01:10:08,667 Here he is, my friend, your friend, 1055 01:10:08,717 --> 01:10:11,720 Mr. Pee Wee Herman! 1056 01:10:11,803 --> 01:10:14,672 Yes, let's hear it for him. 1057 01:10:14,756 --> 01:10:17,675 ♪ 1058 01:10:19,144 --> 01:10:22,764 Hi, everybody! My name's Pee Wee. What's yours? 1059 01:10:22,848 --> 01:10:25,150 Hey, look out! 1060 01:10:25,183 --> 01:10:28,603 Say, you know, you two look a little familiar to me. 1061 01:10:28,687 --> 01:10:30,655 You smell familiar. 1062 01:10:33,692 --> 01:10:37,862 Ah, ah, ah, I'm the comedian. I'll tell the jokes, okay, if you don't mind? 1063 01:10:37,946 --> 01:10:41,866 If you think you're so funny, why don't you come up here and do an act? 1064 01:10:41,917 --> 01:10:44,703 Go tell a joke. Go on and tell a joke. No. 1065 01:10:44,786 --> 01:10:48,756 Yeah, yeah, you think you're big stuff, why don't you come up here and try this out? 1066 01:10:52,794 --> 01:10:55,513 ♪ 1067 01:10:57,549 --> 01:10:59,717 Fuck it. I'll go somewhere else. 1068 01:11:00,769 --> 01:11:03,388 Hey, hey, here. 1069 01:11:06,391 --> 01:11:08,943 Be funny! 1070 01:11:09,027 --> 01:11:12,230 Y'all wanna hear about Dilbert Dumb Butt in Mexico? 1071 01:11:16,034 --> 01:11:17,952 Okay, here we go. Here it is. 1072 01:11:18,036 --> 01:11:21,239 Ol' Dilbert Dumb Butt, he went down to Mexico... 1073 01:11:21,323 --> 01:11:24,459 and he's walkin' around there in the plaza just havin' a taco, you know, 1074 01:11:24,543 --> 01:11:27,579 and gettin' the runs and everything, you know. 1075 01:11:27,629 --> 01:11:31,466 And he had to get back to the navy station and didn't know what time it was. 1076 01:11:31,550 --> 01:11:36,004 He sees this old Mexican type fellow leaning against a wall havin' a siesta. 1077 01:11:36,088 --> 01:11:41,143 And he says, "Hey, Poncho, can y'all tell a fellow what time it is?" 1078 01:11:41,226 --> 01:11:43,811 And the guy looks up at him like that and he reaches back... 1079 01:11:43,895 --> 01:11:46,430 His sombrero had little dingle balls all over it. 1080 01:11:46,515 --> 01:11:48,934 And there's this donkey standin' next to him. 1081 01:11:49,017 --> 01:11:52,987 He reaches out like that and he grabs the donkey right by the balls, ya know. 1082 01:11:53,071 --> 01:11:54,989 Big old wet donkey balls. 1083 01:11:55,073 --> 01:11:58,276 He's terrible! You're terrible! 1084 01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:03,615 And he lifts them up like that and he says, "Oh, senor, it's, mmm, 2:30." 1085 01:12:03,698 --> 01:12:07,418 Goddamn. Dilbert says, "Holy sheep shit! 1086 01:12:07,452 --> 01:12:12,123 How in the hell can you tell time by grabbin' a donkey's balls, man?" 1087 01:12:12,207 --> 01:12:14,459 And he says, "Ah, simple, senor." 1088 01:12:14,509 --> 01:12:18,095 "First you take the balls of that burro and you lift 'em up," 1089 01:12:18,130 --> 01:12:20,599 and you see that clock over there? 1090 01:12:22,684 --> 01:12:24,602 I get it! 1091 01:12:24,636 --> 01:12:27,772 You get it? Thank you very much. 1092 01:12:27,806 --> 01:12:31,109 Oh, thank you. Thank you. Hey, Grandma, you tell a joke. 1093 01:12:31,143 --> 01:12:33,311 Come on, mama! Oh, me? No. 1094 01:12:33,361 --> 01:12:35,980 Yeah, come on. Come on! 1095 01:12:36,064 --> 01:12:38,699 All right, Grandma! All right, come up here. 1096 01:12:38,784 --> 01:12:41,653 Whoa, whoa. All right! 1097 01:12:41,703 --> 01:12:43,821 Go on. Tell a joke. 1098 01:12:51,880 --> 01:12:53,965 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh. 1099 01:12:53,999 --> 01:12:57,002 Okay, now I'll tell a story. Okay, uh, uh... 1100 01:12:57,085 --> 01:13:02,256 How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1101 01:13:02,340 --> 01:13:06,260 How many? - I don't know. How many? 1102 01:13:06,344 --> 01:13:10,264 It only... Okay. It only takes one, 1103 01:13:10,348 --> 01:13:12,650 but it takes a long time... 1104 01:13:12,684 --> 01:13:16,320 and the lightbulb has to want to change. 1105 01:13:26,865 --> 01:13:29,167 Hey, wasn't she great? Come on! Yeah! 1106 01:13:29,201 --> 01:13:33,371 Wasn't she great? Hey, come on. Let's give her a hand. 1107 01:13:34,422 --> 01:13:36,874 All right, Grandma! Yea! 1108 01:13:36,958 --> 01:13:39,010 That was great! 1109 01:13:39,044 --> 01:13:42,430 Was that funny? Was I funny, Daddy? Was I funny? 1110 01:13:42,514 --> 01:13:45,350 You tell a joke now. You want him to tell a joke? 1111 01:13:45,383 --> 01:13:49,303 All right! Come on! Tell a joke, man. 1112 01:13:51,473 --> 01:13:54,776 All right, you tell a joke, man. Go on. Get up there. 1113 01:13:57,395 --> 01:14:00,898 Hey, hey, you. See those two guys over there? 1114 01:14:00,982 --> 01:14:04,535 I need you to kill them for me! They had me put in jail today. 1115 01:14:04,569 --> 01:14:07,989 Those guys right there on stage. Sorry. I can't leave the door. 1116 01:14:08,073 --> 01:14:09,991 Hey, thanks! 1117 01:14:10,075 --> 01:14:12,077 Hey, you! 1118 01:14:12,127 --> 01:14:15,630 I've, I've never, uh, like, been on stage before. 1119 01:14:15,714 --> 01:14:19,634 I hope I don't fuck up. 1120 01:14:19,718 --> 01:14:22,253 Okay, I wanna do some magic, man. 1121 01:14:26,892 --> 01:14:29,144 Uh, let's see. How does this go? Oh, yeah. 1122 01:14:31,146 --> 01:14:33,431 Okay, what is this? A napkin! 1123 01:14:33,481 --> 01:14:35,683 Hey. 1124 01:14:35,767 --> 01:14:37,819 And what is this? A glass. 1125 01:14:37,903 --> 01:14:42,274 Okay. I'm gonna turn this glass into a dick. 1126 01:14:47,112 --> 01:14:49,948 I wish I could do that. 1127 01:14:50,615 --> 01:14:52,867 See? Huh? 1128 01:14:52,951 --> 01:14:54,585 See? 1129 01:14:54,619 --> 01:14:56,704 Quite a peach, huh? 1130 01:14:56,788 --> 01:14:59,040 Stop the show! 1131 01:14:59,124 --> 01:15:02,210 Stop the show! That's the guy right there. Kill him. 1132 01:15:08,300 --> 01:15:10,602 Get him, Thumbelina! 1133 01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:21,613 Do you belong here, buddy? 1134 01:15:21,646 --> 01:15:25,983 Damn, now that's a woman, boy. I could keep warm all winter with that one. 1135 01:15:26,067 --> 01:15:29,653 Let me go, you big macho woman! Let me go! Let me go! 1136 01:15:29,738 --> 01:15:33,792 Hey, take me. I love you. You're gonna love me, all right. 1137 01:15:33,825 --> 01:15:38,162 All right. Just let me get on top, okay? 1138 01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:52,143 ♪ 1139 01:15:54,346 --> 01:15:57,182 Whoo! 1140 01:16:01,152 --> 01:16:04,155 ♪ You've gotta have friends ♪ 1141 01:16:04,189 --> 01:16:07,358 ♪ 1142 01:16:07,442 --> 01:16:09,527 ♪ 1143 01:16:11,413 --> 01:16:14,582 ♪ You've got to have friends ♪ 1144 01:16:16,034 --> 01:16:17,869 ♪ You've got to have... ♪ 1145 01:16:17,919 --> 01:16:21,372 I wanted to have fun and you guys... 1146 01:16:23,041 --> 01:16:25,793 Goddamn. Hey, I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 1147 01:16:25,877 --> 01:16:28,880 You gotta watch out for that. 1148 01:16:28,963 --> 01:16:31,799 Oh, hello, honey. 1149 01:16:31,883 --> 01:16:35,469 It's all yours. Take good care of it, buddy. 1150 01:16:37,939 --> 01:16:40,474 Holy sheep shit! 1151 01:16:40,558 --> 01:16:43,527 All right! Goddamn! Look at this shit. 1152 01:16:50,902 --> 01:16:54,956 Hey! Hey, man, come on. Some guy gave me a car. Come on in. 1153 01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:58,743 I left the weed. Oh, forget the weed. Get in the car. 1154 01:17:07,469 --> 01:17:10,138 I love coming into the city. Can you believe it, man? 1155 01:17:10,221 --> 01:17:12,923 This guy comes up and gives me a car, man. 1156 01:17:12,974 --> 01:17:16,644 And then he comes back and gives me 20 bucks. Holy sheep shit. Only in America. 1157 01:17:16,728 --> 01:17:18,930 Hey, man, we gotta go back, man. 1158 01:17:18,980 --> 01:17:21,732 What? What do you wanna go back for? 1159 01:17:21,766 --> 01:17:26,570 Hey, man, I left that bag of weed back there. We can always get more weed. 1160 01:17:26,604 --> 01:17:30,574 I'm used to drivin' a pickup, man. This is... 1161 01:17:30,608 --> 01:17:33,110 That's 20 pounds of buds, man. 1162 01:17:33,161 --> 01:17:37,031 Man, we can always get some more smoke, but look at this car, man. 1163 01:17:37,115 --> 01:17:39,450 Hey, man, let's go back and get the weed, okay? 1164 01:17:39,534 --> 01:17:41,786 Do you want some more weed? Yeah. 1165 01:17:41,870 --> 01:17:44,789 All right, hold on. 1166 01:17:46,925 --> 01:17:49,460 You hear about the guy who had French asthma? 1167 01:17:49,511 --> 01:17:53,047 He could only catch his breath in "snatches." 1168 01:17:53,131 --> 01:17:55,550 Do you get it? 1169 01:17:55,633 --> 01:17:58,602 Hey, how do you get this thing out of first? 1170 01:17:58,636 --> 01:18:01,271 Grind it till it fits. 1171 01:18:01,306 --> 01:18:04,525 Stay tuned as Wambaugh's Angels try to find the killer... 1172 01:18:04,609 --> 01:18:06,861 at the Miss Nude America Contest. 1173 01:18:06,945 --> 01:18:09,864 But first, this word from our sponsor. Hemorrhoid sufferers... 1174 01:18:46,568 --> 01:18:48,686 ♪ 1175 01:19:31,896 --> 01:19:34,865 ♪ 1176 01:19:42,740 --> 01:19:44,742 Hey, mama, what's happening? 1177 01:19:44,826 --> 01:19:47,044 Ooh, I need you. Ooh. 1178 01:19:47,078 --> 01:19:50,798 Hey, you're a real cutie, baby. I want you right now. 1179 01:19:50,882 --> 01:19:55,303 Mmm. Hey, you're even on this side too. 1180 01:19:55,386 --> 01:19:57,721 Oooh. 1181 01:19:57,755 --> 01:20:00,758 Hey, baby, I'll lick you all over for a dime. Go. 1182 01:20:00,808 --> 01:20:04,144 Ooh... 1183 01:20:06,397 --> 01:20:08,899 Mmm. Ohh. 1184 01:20:08,933 --> 01:20:11,702 Ta-da. 1185 01:20:43,017 --> 01:20:47,304 Cheeto, it's Donna. 1186 01:20:47,355 --> 01:20:49,473 Stop that right now! 1187 01:20:49,557 --> 01:20:52,309 You can't do those freaky things! What are you doing? 1188 01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:55,563 I'll call the vice squad, the League of Decency... Get outta here! 1189 01:20:55,647 --> 01:20:57,949 Get outta here! 1190 01:20:57,982 --> 01:21:01,318 Cheech, it's Donna. Get outta here! Get lost! 1191 01:21:01,369 --> 01:21:04,155 What are you doing here? Get outta here! 1192 01:21:04,238 --> 01:21:06,290 Go on, get! Beat it! 1193 01:21:06,324 --> 01:21:08,542 I said get lost, you dumb fuck! 1194 01:21:08,626 --> 01:21:11,662 Ooo-ooo! 1195 01:21:11,746 --> 01:21:15,633 ¡Ay, cavron! I paid $39 for this dress. 1196 01:21:15,667 --> 01:21:20,021 Go on! Get outta here! Get outta here, Donna! 1197 01:21:49,450 --> 01:21:53,120 You get it? 1198 01:21:53,204 --> 01:21:57,258 Hey, man, how far do we got to go? Oh, we're almost there, man. 1199 01:21:57,342 --> 01:21:59,460 Here, here, I got another one for you. 1200 01:21:59,544 --> 01:22:02,713 You know why a Baptist don't make love standin' up? 1201 01:22:02,764 --> 01:22:05,550 'Cause they don't want nobody to think they're dancin'. 1202 01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:08,302 Do you get it? 1203 01:22:08,386 --> 01:22:13,357 You know why them low riders have them tiny steering wheels? 1204 01:22:13,391 --> 01:22:16,310 It's the only way you can drive with handcuffs on. 1205 01:22:18,696 --> 01:22:20,698 You get it? 1206 01:22:20,732 --> 01:22:23,284 Holy sheep shit. 1207 01:22:31,743 --> 01:22:33,745 Oh, shit! 1208 01:22:33,828 --> 01:22:36,380 The cops are behind us. 1209 01:22:36,414 --> 01:22:38,549 Hey, let's lose 'em, man. 1210 01:22:38,583 --> 01:22:42,587 Whoa, shit! Whoa! This thing hauls, man. 1211 01:22:54,599 --> 01:22:57,101 Hey, we lost 'em, man! All right. 1212 01:22:57,185 --> 01:23:00,154 All right. Oh, shit, that was too easy, man. 1213 01:23:00,238 --> 01:23:02,156 Let's let 'em catch up again. 1214 01:23:18,089 --> 01:23:20,958 There they are, man! Okay. Let's let 'em get close. 1215 01:23:21,008 --> 01:23:24,127 Uh-huh. All right, here we go! 1216 01:23:32,303 --> 01:23:35,806 Oh, yeah, we're gonna pull over. 1217 01:23:43,731 --> 01:23:47,668 Man, let's lose 'em! All right, hold on. 1218 01:23:49,987 --> 01:23:54,324 Hey, slow down, man! We're off the road! We're off the road, man! Stop! 1219 01:23:54,408 --> 01:23:57,627 Hey, there ain't no roads out here, man. You make your own. 1220 01:23:57,662 --> 01:24:00,164 Hey, let's make one over there. 1221 01:24:08,506 --> 01:24:11,392 Jesus H. Christ! Holy camel shit! 1222 01:24:11,476 --> 01:24:13,394 Thompkins, get this thing started. 1223 01:24:13,478 --> 01:24:16,013 Hey, where are we, man? 1224 01:24:16,097 --> 01:24:19,016 We're home, that's where we are. This is one of my fields. 1225 01:24:19,100 --> 01:24:21,819 Oh, wow, look at all the weed! This is nothin', man. 1226 01:24:21,853 --> 01:24:25,406 This is just a deer field. Wait till you see the really good stuff. 1227 01:24:25,490 --> 01:24:27,909 Holy sheep shit. 1228 01:24:27,992 --> 01:24:30,494 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1229 01:24:30,528 --> 01:24:34,081 Goddamn 'em, those fuckin' hippy morons! 1230 01:24:34,165 --> 01:24:38,419 Reverse! Son of a bitch. Reverse! 1231 01:24:40,621 --> 01:24:43,540 Hey, watch, this is gonna be fun. 1232 01:24:43,624 --> 01:24:46,376 I got the whole field booby trapped. 1233 01:24:46,460 --> 01:24:48,428 Hey, watch this. This is... 1234 01:24:55,553 --> 01:24:57,988 ♪ And the rockets red glare ♪ 1235 01:24:59,807 --> 01:25:01,775 ♪ The bombs bursting... ♪ Whoo! Whoo. 1236 01:25:01,859 --> 01:25:03,777 Oh, shit, I love it! 1237 01:25:03,861 --> 01:25:07,197 Look at the chickens. Where did the chickens come from? 1238 01:25:09,567 --> 01:25:11,485 Oh-ho, goddamn. 1239 01:25:11,569 --> 01:25:13,571 Mayday! Mayday! We're under attack! 1240 01:25:13,621 --> 01:25:15,823 Gimme that microphone. 1241 01:25:17,124 --> 01:25:20,043 I used to scare off the deer, but this is better. 1242 01:25:20,077 --> 01:25:23,830 This is car 4-13. We're north of the Chase Farm. We're out here... 1243 01:25:23,915 --> 01:25:26,217 Whoa! 1244 01:25:30,254 --> 01:25:33,974 We're under attack! Something crazy's goin' on! Everything's going crazy here! 1245 01:25:34,058 --> 01:25:36,510 Ten-ninety-nine! Ten-ninety-nine! 1246 01:25:38,145 --> 01:25:41,398 Oh, goddamn. Boy, they think they're being invaded... 1247 01:25:41,432 --> 01:25:43,817 by somebody from Mars or somethin'. 1248 01:25:43,901 --> 01:25:48,105 The last time I went down, I got all these fireworks! 1249 01:25:48,155 --> 01:25:50,524 I was waitin' for something to set it off. 1250 01:25:50,608 --> 01:25:53,160 Whoa. Wow, what's that one? 1251 01:25:55,613 --> 01:25:57,998 How'd you do that? I didn't... I didn't do that. 1252 01:25:58,082 --> 01:26:00,534 I didn't have nothin' to do with that. Look! 1253 01:26:00,618 --> 01:26:02,536 What? Look! 1254 01:26:02,620 --> 01:26:06,373 Goddamn. 1255 01:26:07,508 --> 01:26:10,043 Wow. Wait a minute. 1256 01:26:10,127 --> 01:26:13,430 What do you mean, "wait a minute"? Oh, shit! 1257 01:26:13,464 --> 01:26:16,266 Wow! 1258 01:26:16,300 --> 01:26:18,852 Ooh, look at that! There's another one. 1259 01:26:21,105 --> 01:26:22,973 Whoa, look, man! Look! 1260 01:26:23,024 --> 01:26:26,477 What is that? I-I didn't have nothin' to do with it, man. 1261 01:26:26,527 --> 01:26:28,695 I didn't plan none of this shit. 1262 01:26:47,498 --> 01:26:49,800 Oh, shit. What is this, man? 1263 01:26:49,834 --> 01:26:52,503 Goddamn, I didn't have nothin' to do with this shit. 1264 01:26:52,553 --> 01:26:56,139 Look at that. Hey, don't put your hand in there, man. 1265 01:26:57,925 --> 01:26:59,843 Goddamn, look at that. 1266 01:26:59,927 --> 01:27:03,263 What's happenin'? Oh, God! 1267 01:27:03,347 --> 01:27:05,599 Shit, they're gettin' bigger. 1268 01:27:05,683 --> 01:27:09,103 Oh, man, look at all this. Sheep shit. 1269 01:27:41,185 --> 01:27:44,104 ♪ 1270 01:27:55,700 --> 01:27:58,619 ♪ 1271 01:28:04,125 --> 01:28:06,460 ♪ 1272 01:28:20,725 --> 01:28:23,094 ♪ 1273 01:28:23,177 --> 01:28:26,597 ♪ 1274 01:28:45,750 --> 01:28:48,669 ♪ 1275 01:29:04,518 --> 01:29:06,636 ♪ 1276 01:29:09,940 --> 01:29:11,858 Say "ah." 1277 01:29:17,782 --> 01:29:20,484 Hey, Cheech! 1278 01:29:23,821 --> 01:29:29,376 What... Uh, uh, uh, he left about an hour ago, man. He'll be right out. 1279 01:29:29,460 --> 01:29:32,463 Cheech! I-I-I wasn't doing nothing, man. 1280 01:29:32,496 --> 01:29:35,215 She was there. I slipped. 1281 01:29:35,299 --> 01:29:38,135 This thing fell off, man. 1282 01:29:39,503 --> 01:29:41,972 Hey, Cheech! 1283 01:29:44,608 --> 01:29:46,559 See, she's dead, anyway. 1284 01:29:46,644 --> 01:29:48,846 Hey, Cheech! 1285 01:29:48,896 --> 01:29:51,848 What... No, no, I didn't see nothin', man! Cheech! 1286 01:29:51,899 --> 01:29:54,067 What? Cheech. 1287 01:29:54,151 --> 01:29:56,236 No! Hey, Cheech. 1288 01:29:56,320 --> 01:29:59,239 - What? - Hey, wake up, man. What's wrong with you? 1289 01:30:01,492 --> 01:30:05,329 Ohh. Oh, shit, it's you. 1290 01:30:05,362 --> 01:30:09,199 Hey, you should've been with me last night. You won't believe what happened. 1291 01:30:09,283 --> 01:30:12,953 Aw... Hey, man, I was on a U.F.O.! I really was. 1292 01:30:13,037 --> 01:30:16,707 Yeah, yeah. Hey, your cousin and I, man, he had a bagful of dope. 1293 01:30:16,757 --> 01:30:20,544 We met all these chicks, went to a massage parlor and we went on a spaceship. 1294 01:30:20,628 --> 01:30:23,964 We were in a wheat field. We got sucked up by a spaceship. 1295 01:30:24,048 --> 01:30:26,517 And they give us some space coke. Man, look at it. 1296 01:30:26,550 --> 01:30:30,186 This is space coke. You've never tasted this before, man. 1297 01:30:30,221 --> 01:30:34,391 Hey, try this, man. Try it. It'll blow your head off. 1298 01:31:30,915 --> 01:31:33,851 ♪ 1299 01:31:36,537 --> 01:31:40,457 Closed-Captioned By Captions, Inc. Los Angeles 1300 01:32:30,507 --> 01:32:32,475 ♪ 1301 01:33:29,233 --> 01:33:31,568 ♪ 1302 01:34:23,370 --> 01:34:26,289 ♪ 103939