All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E25.DVDRip.XviD-FoV

Previously on Boston Legal.

You gave me the Crane legacy,
and I fully plan on living up to it.

- He's not my son. - Obviously he
doesn't know. - You're not my father?

I'm not comfortable with you working closely
with this woman. You and I are in a relationship.

The fact you don't realize it
doesn't give you license to be unfaithful.

- You're mad as a hatter.
- Donny Crane. You remember me. We used to be father and son.

I may not have been around much, but I
was always there when you needed me.

Still am.

I pledge allegiance to the flag...

of the United States of America...

and to the republic for which it stands...

one nation, under God, indivisible...

with liberty and justice for all.

Well, Denny, that was refreshing
and patriotic. What gives?

I, Denny Crane, am going to court...

to represent
the United States of America.

And what has our country
done to deserve you?

The U. S. Attorney and the D. O. J.
had to recuse themselves...

so Alberto appointed me
to carry the ball for Team U. S. A.

The greatest lawyer in the world representing
the greatest country in the world.

A match made in heaven.

- Did you know about this?
- I did not.

Where's a sitter when you need one?

And we're back in court
on the Ehrlich-Water case.

Opposing counsel is relentless.
Yet another evidentiary hearing.

Denise, per your status report...

you had your mandatory settlement conference
with datemistake. com last week?

Datemistake. com?

It's an Internet site where women
can vent their ill feelings...

about the men they dated
as a warning to other women.

Our client, Derek Roth,
has been defamed by them.

Oh! I'm sorry. I, um-

You were just a little in my space.

Yes, Shirley.
We did reach a settlement.

As for Denny, thejudge denied
the government's motion to dismiss...

so the spectacle of Denny Crane...

representing the United States...

will continue to play out in federal court,
God save us all.

- What judge did Denny get?
- Judge Kimberly Ohlund.

I used to clerk for her.

Her current clerk, Dan Jinx, and I play squash.
I'm e-mailing Dan now.

He'll give me everything from
the judge's political leanings...

to her basal temperature
after breakfast.

- Thank you, Marlene.
- Sorry I'm late.

But as usual,
I'm really only here for the fruit.

Mmm. Something new.

Alan, Marlene Stanger.
Marlene, Alan Shore.

- A pleasure, Miss Stanger.
- Mr. Shore.

Marlene comes to us
from Howard & Brock.

Your name came up frequently
at my old firm.

- I hope amid a torrent of obscenities.
- Always.

Good.

I look forward to working with you,
Miss Stanger.

It's not often you meet someone
with such ocular precision.

- Why won't you try this case with me?
- Personal reasons.

It's because you're red.

That's the old red, not the new red,
which is the opposite of blue. That's good.

It's the old red. That's bad. And pink.

Regardless of my pigmentation,
I promised I'd sit with you.

- That's the best I can do.
- Denny Crane doesn't need any sitters.

- What are these personal reasons anyway?
- It's the global gag rule.

Nonsense. Gags are dangerous,
locally or globally.

You don't even know what
the global gag rule is, do you?

I can tell you.

The global gag rule forces other countries
where abortion is perfectly legal...

to stop performing them
or even uttering the word "abortion. "

Otherwise, the United States
cuts off their funding.

- Donny.
- Denny.

- Alan.
- Donny.

- What are you doing here?
- I'm with Lawyers Without Borders.

They heard you were brought in after thejudge
denied the government's motion to dismiss.

- Liberal pinko.
- Please rise. The Honorable Kimberly Ohlund presiding.

Denny Crane for the United States
of America, Your Honor.

Donny Crane for the plaintiff,
Kavita Pokharel.

I take it you two know each other?

- He's not my father.
- He's like a son.

This'll be a delight.

I can't believe the squid
is working here now.

The squid?

In old mythology they say the squid
is the only animal that can kill a shark.

I used to work with her
at Howard & Brock...

and like the mysterious giant squid...

the only evidence ofher existence...

were the whopping sucker marks
left on her victims.

I take it you didn't get along.

You don't get along with the squid.

She used to tap into the computer network,
steal everyone's research memos...

and then claim them as her own.

Why the hell did we hire her?

Beats me. I only hope
she doesn't get my Alan.

I was pregnant with my second child.

When I went into labor, my husband
took me to the district clinic in Khotang.

This is in Nepal.

Objection.
Witness isn't speaking English.

We're aware of that, Mr. Crane.
She's being translated.

- Is that legal?
- Shocking, isn't it?

Oh.

Continue.

It was the same clinic
where I had my first child.

Only this time the doctor was gone.

The medical assistant said
I had an obstetric fistula...

and I needed a caesarean section.

But because they had no equipment
or medicine or a physician...

they said there was nothing
they could do.

I began to hemorrhage.

I almost bled to death,
and my baby boy died.

I'm not the only one.
Thousands are dying.

Why weren't there any supplies?

They told me the United States
had taken away all the clinic's funding.

Edward Broaden.

And the man responsible for making
that decision was Mr. Edward Broaden.

That man?

Yes.

I was a physician in Khotang
from 2001 until last October.

Our clinic had been funded primarily
by the United States.

Notice he didn't say "thank you. "

He's got a lot on his mind, Denny.

And, Dr. Patel, did your clinic
perform abortions?

No. Even though it is legal in Nepal...

our clinic made the decision not to
in order to receive U. S. funding.

However,
we hung up a poster that said...

"We believe that a woman has
a right to control her own body. "

The poster was meant
to promote women's rights...

and to prevent rape
as well as spousal abuse.

But the USAl D representative,
Mr. Broaden...

felt the poster was pro-abortion.

And that was that.
We lost all of our funding.

You're looking thin.
You should eat more.

Some of us don't have fancy expense accounts
to pay for our meals, hmm?

- You should get one. They're awesome.
- Mr. Crane?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- Dr., uh-
- Patel.

I have in my hand here...

the copy of the rules...

that clinics must follow
in order to get U. S. aid.

- You've seen this manual?
- Yes, I have.

But the rules in it are so vague.

They're left to the interpretation
of the USAl D representative.

That representative is hired by an appointee
of the president of the United States. Correct?

- Yes.
- So, Doctor, in your expert opinion as a physician...

who the hell are you to question
the president of the United States?

- Objection. Badgering.
- Sustained.

You know the president
is against abortion.

In following the rules, it would seem you would
err on the side of caution, but you didn't.

You put up an inflammatory poster.

We didn't feel it was inflammatory
to protect the rights of women.

Well, it got me mad! You have
other clinics that get our money, right?

- Yes.
- Ones who are able to follow the rules?

The point is, Mr. Crane...

while you allow abortion
in your country...

you are trying to deny it
to the rest of the world.

The people of this country
never decided on abortion.

The elected officials never voted on it.

It was nine justices of the Supreme Court.
The people are still angry about it.

- Objection! He's not asking a question. He's debating.
- What are you talking about?

- The reason why the Supreme Court exists-
- I'm not- Yeah?

is to protect people
from their own mob mentality-

- I disagree. Objection.
- Fine. Objection right back at you.

- I object to your objection!
- Both objections are sustained. Move on.

- So, Dr., um-
- Patel.

If you want American money,
don't kill babies.

She wasn't trying to.

This is so disrespectful. You don't
come home to Papa by suing his government.

You're not my papa.
Your sperm never touched my egg.

And someone
has to sue the government.

Look, our policy denies thousands
of people lifesaving medical care...

based on the personal
religious views of our leader.

Nothing says democracy like imperialism.

Why can't you come to town for once,
and we just toss the pigskin around?

That's American.

- Dinner?
- 8:00.

- Denny Crane.
- Donny Crane.

Donny Crane.

We had this settled.

Upon further review of the agreement,
Mr. Roth didn't approve.

I don't know what game you're playing here,
but you're not getting another dime from us.

Please don't address my client directly.
Talk to me.

Your client should know that our
original offer was more than generous.

That's not the way I see it.

Thirteen months ago, Derek went out
on a few dates with one Monique Foster...

otherwise known on your Web site,
datemistake. com, as Anonymous.

Things didn't work out,
and he broke up with her.

Months later, he met someone, fell in love
and got engaged. Things looked... rosy.

Yeah, until Anonymous found datemistake. com
and started posting all these lies about me.

His fianc�e found him
prominently displayed on the site...

and broke up with Derek
two days later.

We all know what happened, Miss Stanger.
We reached the original settlement.

What we didn't know
was the rest of the story.

Now anytime someone tries to google my name
or my company, Roth's Plumbing Supply...

instead of finding my Web site,
yours is the first site that comes up.

My sales have dropped 40%
since this posting.

You could've posted a rebuttal,
responded to anonymous opinions of you.

But why should I have to?

You destroy my client's reputation,
his business.

You humiliate him in public, then force him
to fix the damages that you caused.

That's like a glass company throwing rocks
through your window then saying...

"Hey, need to buy a new window?"

David. Nancy.

- Derek?
- Hi.

- Denise, right. You know everyone.
- I do.

- May I see you?
- Of course.

What the hell are you doing
with my client?

Well, Denise, I was looking over
some of your settlement agreements...

just to see how things
worked around here.

Some firms are quite formal
and sticklers for grammar and language.

I see around here anything goes, which is fine.
I just needed to know.

What are you doing with my client?

I looked at the settlement figure you had.
I thought we could do better.

I saw Denny was
the assigned partner on the case.

Y- You went to Denny
behind my back to steal my case?

Oh, no, no. God, no.
I just told him my thoughts.

He was very encouraging
and told me to go for it.

So I held the documents from being published,
made a few calls, and, well, here we are.

Our client is really happy, and I think we
can ring these people up for some big bucks.

There's only one problem with that, Marlene.
Derek in there doesn't have a case.

The $10,000 settlement I got him was a gift
from datemistake. com to make him go away.

I think we could get more. If you agree with me,
I would love to share this case with you.

We're leaving, as is our original offer.

They'll be back.

Shejust went to Denny
and stole my case.

- Just stole it.
- Okay.

Did you know that at her old firm
they called her "the squid"?

The squid?

The only thing that can kill a shark.

What really gets me about these people is
how they're so obvious and manipulative.

And you're trying to manipulate our
friendship to get me to do something about this?

- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.

After she stole my case, she had
the nerve to tell me we could share it.

Marlene is a first-rate lawyer.
She brings in a lot of money.

She almost made partner
at Howard & Brock.

We recruited her with the understanding
that if she does as well here as she did there...

she would make partner
in the next vote.

- And you're okay with that?
- I am. Yeah.

Look, Denise, you have
a very bright future here.

But let me put this as gently as I can.

Toughen up.

You seeing anyone?

Not really. You?

- I got married.
- Married?

For a day.

We tried to contact you for the wedding,
but you were nowhere to be found.

Um, question.

Do the girls actually talk?

I'm not quite sure
of the etiquette here.

I don't think there's a question
of etiquette, son. They're escorts.

So you like flying around the world...

picking up strangers,
bringing them to our courts?

It isn't a matter of liking.
I'm trying to make people understand.

All these clinics forced
to close their doors...

by the simple stroke
of the pen of our president.

And here we are in Boston...

where there are eight world-class
hospitals within a 10-mile radius.

We don't see it.
I'm hoping Kavita will help us see it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get the picture now.

This is all about beating your old man,
isn't it, son?

For once, this isn't about you.

Then you won't mind losing.

I got the law on my side, plus the United
States government and Denny Crane.

Two equal and unstoppable forces.

Mm-hmm.
And I've got a sympathetic judge...

and an honest woman
who lost her child.

You always taught me emotion wins.

- Isn't he something?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

- We're late.
- You're late. I'm not going.

That time of the month?

Come on!

We're having fun.

You're having fun.

Sweeping into court,
trying a monumental case...

about which there is much
to be thoughtful, much to articulate...

about which you know almost nothing.

And you're using nothing but easyjokes,
a swell suit and blind patriotism.

You're jealous of my son.

Denny, you don't have a son,
and the truth is...

you're making a complete ass of yourself in
that courtroom about something you shouldn't.

I don't care to see it or support it.

There's a difference between
being an ass and being effective.

When you win,
they say you're effective.

When you lose, which I never do,
they call you an ass.

I don't need you, Alan.

I don't need anybody.

Never have. Never will.

I was in charge of the USAID
office in the northeastern region of Nepal.

Part of myjob was to enforce
the rules of the Mexico City Policy.

What policy? Everything comes
with rice and beans.

No.

The name of the policy in question
is the Mexico City Policy.

But opponents erroneously refer to it
as the global gag rule.

All right.
So what are we doing in Mexico?

That's where President Reagan
first enacted the policy in 1984.

It was enacted as a reaction
to forced abortions in China...

as a means of population control.

- Chinese, Mexican. Anybody hungry?
- Objection.

- Sustained.
- All right. Let's get back to America.

You're saying that these policies
were enacted as a humanitarian gesture?

Yes, it was.

And is it in
the United States'discretion...

to decide which clinics
get funding?

As a part of
our governmental function, yes.

Determining funding...

is a purely governmental function.

And, uh, governments are immune...

under the, um-

under the, uh-

Federal Tort Claims Act.

Right.

Therefore-

You will move for dismissal...

and I will again deny the motion.

Move on.

Nothing further, Your Honor.

You, uh-You say this was done
as a humanitarian effort.

However, the rule was instituted
by President Reagan...

continued under
the first President Bush...

then rescinded during
the Clinton administration.

That's true.

And the day George W. Bush
took office...

reinstating the global gag rule was one
ofhis first official pieces ofbusiness.

That sounds political to me.

- Objection, uh-
- Sustained.

So the policy was designed...

to stop abortion as a method
of family planning?

Yes.

Even though, by withdrawing funding
from those clinics...

they no longer have money
for any family planning...

which could stop unwanted pregnancies
and the need for abortions?

Mr. Broaden, you're not
the only USAID representative...

that has to deal with this issue,
are you?

No, I'm not.

The truth is that our global gag rule
is affecting, well...

the globe.

The Balkans, Africa, South America, Asia.

Any place dependent on U. S. funding...

is not allowed to even utter
the word "abortion. "

Yes, that's true.

So don't you think it's curious that in our
administration's quest to stop abortion...

we're actually restricting free speech,
which is a hallmark of democracy?

Objection.
Irrelevant and unpatriotic.

Sustained.

Datemistake. com.

Thank goodness technology
has progressed to the point...

where we no longer have to deal
with our issues privately.

So, any of my misadventures
chronicled in there?

No.

- Surprised?
- A little.

As to the fact
that you checked on me, no.

Just so you know, that little incident
would be considered sexual harassment.

You're quite intoxicating.

Oops. Did it again.

But you won't report me to the bosses.

Why not?

Marlene,
while I haven't known you long...

I get the feeling your best work is done
behind your colleagues'back.

If you were to report me, you certainly
wouldn't have warned me first.

What you'd really like to do is wrap your legs
around me and scream at the top of your lungs.

You're a loud one, aren't you?

Excuse me?

How about I just clear everything off this desk?
We can take care of things right now.

Then afterwards, you can write me up
and send me on my way.

- You're repulsive.
- You're right.

And yet I can see in your eyes
you're not completely repulsed.

And therein lies the rub.

You can't hold someone liable
for expressing an opinion.

Besides, truth is a defense.
There are no objectively false facts here.

You gotta be kidding me.
Anonymous called me "cheap. "

- Where did you take Anonymous to dinner?
- Jimmy Changa's.

And is it true that you used a coupon?

That's not cheap. That's smart.

- And did you pay?
- Yes, I did.

- And did she pay too?
- Yes.

He treated her as an equal, which only proves
he's a feminist as well as resourceful.

- Anonymous didn't post that.
- Yeah. And she says I have no sense ofhumor.

- I make jokes all the time.
- Those aren'tjokes. Those are puns. Puns aren't funny.

Well, that's just your "o-pun-ion. "
Isn't it?

Oh, dear God.

Denise, we agreed to return to the table
in good faith based on your reputation.

But you haven't given us any reason
to even go back to the original agreement.

All of the facts are on our side.

But we may have
more plaintiffs on our side.

With just a quick search
on your Web site...

we have found 10 men willing
to come forward who were defamed...

with false statements of fact,
not opinion.

You never mentioned these men
in your previous negotiations.

We were just focusing on our client.

We were hoping you would be reasonable,
but you're not being reasonable.

So we're expanding this case
to a class-action suit.

As to the facts...

Brett Doran does not still live
with his mother.

Jack Bostick does not have
a one-inch johnson, even on a cold day.

I could go on.

There are 300,000 more postings and
plenty of eager associates to review them.

We'll give you a chance
to talk this over. Marlene?

You posted these complaints
yourself, didn't you?

I'd have to be an idiot to do that.

So you had someone else do it for you.
A sister? A girlfriend?

Denise, while you were out
on a date last night...

I was here until 3:00 in the morning
hunting these guys down.

All it took was some hard work and long hours,
but I was willing to do it.

We can go to court. The reward
is potentially bigger, but so are the risks.

Or we can go back in there and get a bigger
settlement than you originally negotiated.

Your call.

I talk. You don't say anything.

So, had a chance
to talk things over?

- As a matter of fact, we have.
- And?

We don't like the way
you do business, Denise.

And I don't like the way
Ms. Moran does business.

Your company trades on the misery
and pettiness of others.

Ms. Moran, there are two ways
to make money in a business like this.

The first is the short-term cash
you make...

before someone like us comes in and
shuts you down with a major lawsuit.

The other is the real money that comes
when you grow your business large enough...

that one of the big media companies
buys you out.

But nobody's going to buy a company...

with a potentially huge class-action
lawsuit hanging over its head.

And that's why you were willing
to settle in the first place.

$30,000, and this all goes away.

- Twenty thousand.
- Twenty-five.

Done.

Yeah.

I'll draw up the paperwork.

You like hot fudge sundaes?

Ah, who knows what you like.
You're a weirdo.

But my point is,
people like hot fudge sundaes.

Well, yesterday in court,
I gave them a hot fudge sundae.

I was brilliant.

But after you've had
a big, delicious hot fudge sundae...

it's a while before
you want another one.

- You with me so far?
- Let's say that I am.

- Great. I want you to do the closing argument.
- I'm sorry?

I gave the jury a great, big
Denny Crane sundae...

with chocolate sauce and nuts
and a cherry on the top.

Now they're full. I can't stuff another one
down their throats so soon.

Denny, how'd it really go
in court yesterday?

Magnificent.

That being said, if thejury heard
from someone that wasn't me...

it might refocus them in a way
that would guarantee victory.

Not that victory is in doubt.

I see.

Alan, I need to stay undefeated.

I don't want to look like a fool
in front of-

I need you to do this.

Friend helping friend?

This case is not about abortion.

It isn't about freedom of speech.

It isn't even about what foreign policy
the United States chooses to conduct.

This case is about hypocrisy
and the arrogance of power.

Now, under the laws of the United States,
abortion is legal.

But we tell other countries
that if they want U. S. aid...

they cannot perform,
encourage or even mention abortion.

We look the world in the eye
and say...

"Do as I say, not as I do. "

It's the very essence of hypocrisy.

So, the clinic
that Kavita Pokharel went to...

had had its funding cut off
by a USAl D representative...

who mistakenly believed...

that a poster in the clinic
advocated abortion.

Now, she had been to the clinic before
and everything had been fine.

She had the reasonable expectation...

that the clinic
would continue to function.

How could she?

How could anyone
be expected to know...

that United States policy...

is as changeable
as the political winds?

A political hack...

made a brutal, thoughtless decision
that could not be appealed!

And Ms. Pokharel's baby died.

At a time when we're trying
to spread democracy...

around the globe...

let us show the world
that we are not hypocrites.

Let us show the world that when
the government of the United States...

makes a horrible, tragic mistake...

the courts of the United States...

will make that government pay for it.

I'd like to begin with a cheer.

We're number one!
We're number one! We're number-

It's not much of a cheer.

It's repetitive and rhythmically
uninteresting.

But it does succinctly apply to our country
and has for quite some time.

In fact, we've been number one so long that
the rest of the world has come to rely on us.

And we don't let them down. We're the world's
largest donor of development assistance.

All in all, as a nation,
we donate over $55 billion a year...

in foreign aid.

Money, money, money, money, money, money.
Everything is about money.

But we must never forget...

that there is a terrible human tragedy...

at the center of all this.

Ms. Pokharel lost her child.

The loss of any child's life
is an incalculable horror.

It is for that reason
that I would ask you...

to award the plaintiff
piles and piles of money.

After all,
we have so much to give away.

Why not?

Piles and piles.

Thank you.

You know, come to think of it...

maybe we don't have that much
to give away, do we?

Our national debt
is now over eight trillion dollars.

Eh, who cares?
Give 'em piles anyway. What the hell.

Never mind that we have
37 million people...

living below the poverty line
right here at home.

What does it matter that our own literacy
rate doesn't even rank in the top 50 countries?

Just keep shelling out the foreign aid.

Has it really bothered anyone...

that we don't have the resources
to help the Katrina victims?

Of course not!

What's really important is that
the United States continue to be...

that big A. T. M. machine to the world...

doling out wads of cash
to every country who wants it.

Money, money, money, money, money, money,
money. Never mind we don't have it.

These other nations-
they're entitled, aren't they?

Even the ones who vilify us
for protecting their freedom.

By the way,
listening to plaintiff's counsel...

I couldn't help but concur
how horrible we Americans are.

Okay, so we donate $55 billion a year
in foreign aid.

But then we impose
certain conditions on those gifts!

Imagine our awfulness.

And here, my God,
we promise money to a clinic...

so long as they promise
not to promote abortion.

So they did. How dare we not give them
the money just the same?

We should've given them that
and then some.

We have a duty
to provide these handouts.

We have an absolute duty...

because we are
the United States of America.

And these other nations, well, they're entitled,
whether they keep their promises or not.

Our settlement check came in.
Twenty-five G's.

- I'm just glad everything worked out.
- Me too.

For all this Sturm und Drang,
we really did make a pretty good team.

I'm so glad we're not like
those women in the workplace...

who feel compelled to compete
with every pair of legs in a skirt.

You are not gonna get very far
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt...

pulling the kind of crap
you did with this case.

Denise, the only crap I pulled was to
believe in this case and invest myself in it.

That's why we more
than doubled our money.

And I think that's why they hired me
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

Why did they hire you?

Anyway, see you later.

Squid.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

- We have, Your Honor.
- How say you?

In the matter of Kavita Pokharel
versus the United States...

we find in favor of...

the United States of America.

Thank you for your service. We're adjourned.

Still undefeated.

I think my closing
made all the difference.

Denny, if I wrote it and delivered it,
how did it become your closing?

My case. I'm the lead attorney.
And, of course, I'm-

- Yes, you are.
- the United States of America.

- Of course we'll appeal.
- Of course you'll lose.

- Dinner, Denny?
- Delighted, Donny.

Son, let me ask you something.

These lost causes-why do you do it?

Well, I suppose the struggle
gives me comfort.

Why do you do what you do?

I don't actually remember.

It may have something to do with
the massive amounts of money I make.

My mom died.

Uh, a few months ago.

I was gonna tell you
the other night, but the-

well...

the hookers made it
a little uncomfortable.

Mmm.

I went looking for my real father.

And?

He lives in Maine.

He works on a cranberry bog.

Good man. Wears waders.

Most days he's up to his knees...

in water and little red fruits.

Sounds like a very moist man.

He's not you.

Not the man I imagined growing up.

Not the man I pictured in my mind
when I was studying at law school.

So you're all alone.

Yepper.

So...

any interest in being
my fake father again?

I never stopped being
your fake father, son.

Good night, Mr. Crane.

Good night, Miss Stanger.

Your closing was very convincing.

Almost as if you believed it.

I did.

- You do love America?
- Of course I do.

I didn't agree with the string our government
attached to the money in this case...

but we have every right
to attach strings to the funds we give.

That's my boy.

I'm your friend, Denny,
but I'm not your boy.

That's what troubles me- this notion that
we have to take sides in this country now.

You're either with us or against us...

Republican or Democrat,
red state or blue state.

I can't believe
I live in a blue state. I mean-

No one looks at an issue and struggles over
the right position to take anymore.

And yet our ability to reason
is what makes us human.

Lately we seem so willing
to forfeit that gift of reason...

in exchange for the good feeling
of belonging to a group.

We all just take the position
of our team.

I've certainly done it
and hated myself for it.

I've never heard you
make so much sense.

I make sense all the time.
You just listen intermittently.

Could be.

Ahh. I like that new girl.

Marlene.

She's got an aggressive eye.

Bet she's magnificent in bed.

Oh, I bet she's at her best
with her back against the wall.

Mmm.

Oh, I can't wait till next week.

You stinker!