All language subtitles for Being.Julia.2004.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-monkee

I

W
h
at I don't know about acting

isn't worth knowing.

N
o
w, you may be 20 years old and
just beginning,

but I think you're a genius.

Y
o
u've got magnetism, but no idea
how to use it.

Y
o
u have to grab the audience by
the throat and say,

N
ow, you buggers, you pay
attention to me!"

And remember this,

w
h
en you're on the stage acting,

theater is the only reality.

E
v
erything else, the world
outside,

w
h
at civilians call the real
world,

is nothing but fantasy.

A
n
d I bloody well won't let you
forget it.

T
h
e trouble is, darling, I'm an
incurable romantic.

I believe in love,

I believe in happiness,

I believe in us.

A
R
CHIE: No, you don't. You're
just saying that.

T
h
ere's someone else, isn't there?

I love you, I do.

I do, I love you...

And I used to believe

w
e
'd live happily ever after.

Didn't you?

W
i
th every fiber of my being.

Only now...

G
o
od morning, Miss Lambert.

Good morning, Margery.

A
n
yone with my lord and master?

MARGERY: No.

D
a
rling, what are you doing here?

I want an answer, Michael.

What's the question?

W
h
a
t did I say to you before we
went to sleep last night, hmm?

U
h
, I give up. What did you say
to me

b
e
fore we went to sleep last
night?

I said I was tired.

I
t
s
eems a perfectly natural thing
to say before you go to sleep.

C
h
r
ist, Michael, you can be an
irritating little shit!

Julia, Julia, really,

i
f
your public could only hear
your language.

I want them to hear.

I
w
ant every bloody one of them to
hear.

I

I need a holiday.

Just admit it, Michael.

Y
o
u've never understood what it
means

to carry a play,

t
o
sweat it out night after night.

I

A
l
l you do is count the money

a
n
d think it's a bloody great
lark.

Take the play off.

But we'll lose a fortune.

Our partner won't like it.

To hell with Dolly!

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

G
o
d, I didn't mean to be so vile.

I
t
's just I'm... I'm near to
breaking point.

Everything's so tedious.

I want something to happen.

What?

I wish I knew.

P
l
ease. Please close the play at
the end of the month.

Y
e
ah. I really do have to think
about it.

W
e
can't have the theater dark.

Hmm?

I

Hmm?

Please.

I promise.

Thank you.

You were very quiet

l
e
aving the house this morning.

W
e
ll, I didn't want to wake you.

Y
o
u were dead to the world.

Hmm.

Exercises, running...

God, Michael,

y
o
u're the vainest man in London.

Me, vain? Nonsense.

I
j
u
st want to preserve my
magnificent good looks for as
long as possible.

O
h
, yes, speaking of good looks,

d
i
d
you notice that young man as
you came in?

No.

He's an American.

S
o
n of a friend of a friend of
Eddie Gilbert's.

I
c
an't see what that's got to do
with me.

He admires you tremendously.

O
h
, he sounds frightfully
intelligent.

What's his name?

Can't remember.

Uh, unfortunately,

h
e
's as poor as a church mouse.

I
t
hought we might give him a spot
of lunch.

W
e
l
l, he's awfully good-mannered,
for an American.

J
ULIA: Uh!

Rubbish mail, Margery.

Yes, Mr. Gosselyn.

U
h
, I would like to introduce you
to my wife,

Julia Lambert.

J
u
lia, this is... This is...

T
h
is is the young man I was
telling you about.

H
e
wants to learn the business,

s
o
we're starting him off with our
accountant.

I
t
... It's an honor to meet you,
Miss Lambert.

I
w
onder if we could persuade you

t
o
come and eat a chop with us.

M
i
chael will drive you back after
lunch.

G
e
e, that's real kind of you.

Y
o
u two take the lift, I'll take
the stairs.

Last one down's a sissy.

Miss Lambert,

c
o
uld I... Could I ask you a
favor?

I
c
a
n't give you any more room, if
that's what you mean.

N
o
, no, no, it's, uh... I
wonder...

Would you...

W
o
uld you let me have a
photograph?

Of course.

Gee, that's swell of you.

I've seen you in
Farewell, My Love
three times.

Y
o
u haven't. Have you really?

It's such a silly play.

Oh, it's not the play,

i
t
's you. You're just... Just
great.

I'm glad you liked me.

Liked you? I loved you.

I won.

Well done.

Come on, Mr... Uh...

A
l
l an actress like Julia needs

is a vehicle.

I
t
's the actors the public go to
see,

not the play.

Y
o
u know, that's true in my case.

I

B
u
t you know what I'd really like
to find out?

How did you start?

H
o
w did you get to be where you
are,

o
w
ning your own theater, top of
the tree?

C
l
ean living and hard work.
Cigarette?

W
e
o
we it all to a rude,
foul-mouthed brute called
Jimmie Langton.

W
e
w
ere in his repertory company in
Middlesbrough.

H
e
knew all there is to know about
theater and acting.

T
h
at's where I met Michael.
That's how we began.

I was a rotten actor.

Yes, but you have presence.

T
h
e audience always gasps when
you come on.

I
t
's his dazzling good looks, you
see.

G
e
e, this is fascinating.
Fascinating.

Dreadfully jealous of him?

M
I
CHAEL: You're very sweet, but I
know perfectly well

t
h
a
t all I can play are diplomats,
lawyers and politicians.

I

Y
e
s, but you know as well as I do

t
h
at we'd be nothing without
Jimmie.

I
a
lways lay a place for him at
the table.

Just in case he turns up.

He's been dead for 15 years.

Yes, but you never know.

He was a monster.

U
h
, how do you spell your first
name?

T-O-M.

DANCER: Hoy!

Hoy!

Hoy!

Hoy!

Hoy!

ARCHIE: For God's sake,

d
o
n't torture yourself like this,
Laura.

N
o
one will ever know how much I
loved him.

He was my earth, my moon,

a
l
l the stars in the firmament.

Farewell, my love.

Bravo! Bravo!

N
o
, there's nothing left for me
now,

b
u
t to tour Canada and Australia,

God help me.

N
o
nsense, Miss Lambert.

It's not nonsense.

I

I'll have potatoes for lunch

and potatoes for dinner.

Beer. God, I love beer!

A
n
d treacle pudding and cherry
tart and cream.

C
r
eam, cream, cream, cream,
cream...

As God is my judge,

I

Oh, God,

I bet I know who that is.

Good afternoon, Evie.

O
h
, Mrs. De Vries, what a
surprise.

U
h
, I hope this isn't inconvenient

b
u
t
I have to see Miss Lambert on a
business matter.

S
h
e isn't having one of her
afternoon naps, is she?

Wait a minute.

Guess who's here.

Show her in.

B
u
siness, she says, but isn't it
funny

h
o
w she always manages to time
her visits

w
h
en you're lying stark bollock
naked.

E
n
ough of that, you dirty-minded
slut.

Show her in.

Mrs. De Vries.

DOLLY: Julia, darling.

Dolly, dear. Hmm.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I
a
l
ways seem to call when you're,
you're otherwise engaged.

Tea?

I
g
nore me. I'll... I'll just sit
here

q
u
iet as a lamb until you're done.

S
o
E
vie said something about
business. Hmm?

What? Oh, yes.

U
m
, Michael tells me you want to
close the play.

M
y
husband's a devious little runt.

Oh, that's unfair.

H
e
was perfectly right to consult
me.

W
e
're partners. The three of us.

A perfect combination.

M
y
money, his know-how, your
genius.

I'm exhausted, Dolly.

I
f
eel twice my age, which makes
me 90.

I

Y
o
u mean that or are you acting?

I
n
ever know when you're acting.

I'm not acting!

I

I
f
eel as though my life's come to
an end.

All right. All right.

All done.

J
U
LIA: Oh, thank you, you're a
dear.

Uh.

A
r
e you really near a breakdown,
Julia?

O
h
, I don't know. I don't know.

I

It's as if...

I
t
's as if the curtain's come
down on Act One,

b
u
t I have no idea what happens
in Act Two.

I

W
a
iting for something to happen.
But what?

What?

O
h
, please, Dolly, be my friend.

Oh.

M
a
ke Michael take the play off.

I need a holiday.

I
c
ould visit...visit my mother in
Jersey,

a
n
d then visit you in France.

Oh.

In the nuddy.

Lovely flowers for someone.

O
h
, hello, a blooming florist's
shop.

W
h
o sent them? Mrs. De Vries?

V
e
ry likely. Or Lord Tamerley.

H
e
re, don't forget, you've got
dinner with him

after the show tonight.

Yes, I know.

E
x
pect you'll have to turn on the
waterworks

for him again as per usual.

I
w
ish you'd teach me to cry real
tears.

The times I've needed them.

Oh, here's a card.

F
r
om Mr. Thomas Fennel, Tavistock
Square.

What a place to live.

W
h
o the hell do you suppose he
is, Evie?

O
h
, some feller knocked all of a
heap

b
y
your fatal beauty, I expect.

Probably cost a fortune.

W
e
nt without dinner for a week.

Oh, pull the other one.

B
e
ginners, please, Miss Lambert.

Mmm-hmm.

W
e
ll, whoever Mr. Thomas Fennel
is,

I
t
hink it's a bit of all right

h
a
ving a young man send me flowers

at my time of life.

I mean, it just shows you...

H
o
w do you know he's a young man?

He's probably over 80.

Go to hell.

I 'm on my way I'm on my way

I 'm busy 'cause I'm on my way ♪

Thank you.

Thank you.

Julia Lambert.

The champagne now, my lord?

Thank you, Antoine.

And for you,
MadameLambert?

I

so I'll make do with bubbly.

Thank you.

It's for you. Open it.

Oh.

I
t
's a portrait of Clairon.

She was a great actress,

a
n
d I believe you have many of
her gifts.

Charles, you are sweet.

I thought you might like it.

I
t
's by way of being a parting
present.

You're going away?

N
o
. But I shan't be seeing you
anymore.

Oh, Charles, not again.

N
o
. This is becoming a ritual.
Why?

W
e
have such a beautiful
friendship, Julia.

I
t
's unique in my experience, but
people talk.

They don't understand.

A
n
d even though we know the truth,

i
f
we go on seeing one another,

t
h
ere will be a terrible scandal.

No, there won't.

M
i
chael and I lead separate lives.

T
h
at's why we're so happily
married.

More or less.

J
u
mped-up little tart, that's
what she is.

N
e
ver stops acting, on-stage or
off.

She's just one big pose.

Dashed pretty.

S
h
ut up, Rupert, don't show your
ignorance.

I know all about her.

W
e
w
ere both born in the Channel
Islands, Jersey.

H
e
r father was our doctor. A
Jersey doctor!

Y
o
u can't get more common than
that.

I
t
's only common sense, darling.

I don't want to lose you.

I... I have few friends.

Real friends.

Y
o
u're the only person in my life

w
i
th whom I can be entirely
myself.

I

I... I need you.

L
e
t's go on seeing each other.
Please.

Uh, please forgive us
intruding like this,
Miss Lambert.

M
y
friend and I are such very
great admirers.

A
n
d I wonder... Do you remember
me?

F
l
orence Coltraine, isn't it?

W
Correct.

R
u
pert and I want you to settle
an argument.

I
t
hink I used to know your father
in Jersey.

H
e
was a doctor, wasn't he?

H
e
used to come to our house quite
often.

Actually, he was a vet.

H
e
used to go to your house

to deliver the bitches.

The house was full of them.

L ife is just a bowl of cherries

D on't make it serious life's too mysterious

Y ou work, you save you worry so

B ut you can't take your dough when you go

I

T-O-M.

You remember.

D
i
d you like the...the flowers?

O
h
, Mr. Thomas Fennel, Tavistock
Square.

Yes, of course, thank you.

W
e
ll, uh, I couldn't decide
between a single rose

a
n
d every flower in the store.

I
s
that why you're here at this
time of night?

T
o
find out if I received the
flowers?

N
o
. You see, I don't have a phone
yet.

And I...

Um...

Y
o
u wouldn't come to tea with me
one day, would you?

I don't see why not.

Will you really?

How about next Friday?

1
3
8 Tavistock Square, 4:30?

A
l
l right. I'll be there.

G
e
e, that's swell. See you then.

T he sweet things in life to you were just loaned

S o how gonna you lose what you've never owned?

L ife is just a bowl of cherries

S o live and laugh at it all

C
H
O
RUS: ♪ Life is just a bowl of cherries

D on't make it serious life's too mysterious

Y ou work, you save you worry so

B
u t you can't take your dough when you go, go

K eep on repeating "It's the berries"

T he strongest oak must fall ♪

Oh?

I saw you drive up.

I

I hope you don't mind.

And if I do?

We're there.

Thank God for that.

T
h
e gas ring's in the bathroom.

Oh.

I
t
isn't the Ritz, but it's home.

N
o
, it's...it's charming. It's so
London.

I
t
reminds me of my early days.

I
h
ave to put coins in the gas
meter.

Oh, yes, so did I.

H
a
ve some cake. I bought it
specially.

Oh.

I shouldn't, but I will.

Y
o
u know something? You ought to
be in movies.

R
e
al actresses don't make films.

But beautiful actresses do.

Hmm.

Well, I saw you in
Nobody's Perfecton Broadway.

I was 14 at the time.

I
w
ish you hadn't told me that.

I
s
tood outside the stage door
and, uh, I got your autograph.

Y
o
u asked me my name. I told you.

You knew how to spell it then.

What's so funny?

Y
o
u remind me of something.

What is it?

M
y
husband. In a scene we had to
play.

H
e
didn't know how to sit down.

J
i
mmie made him do it over and
over again.

Uh, I can't stay long.

I
m
ust have a nap before my
performance.

B
u
t you've only just arrived.

A
n
d you...you can't go without,
uh,

w
i
thout, well, seeing the view.

It's really great.

I
f
you just come over to the
window...

Isn't it terrific?

I just love London.

I
t
's so big, but it's also kind
of friendly.

A
n
d all those people, each with
their own lives.

I can't explain it.

W
h
en I first came to London, I
stood in Piccadilly Circus

looking at the lights

a
n
d the people and the taxis,

and I said out loud,

O
ne day I'm going to conquer
you."

And you have.

Have I? I wonder...

Look at my hair.

Uh, here.

Oh?

Thank you.

A
n
d I thought you were such a shy
young man.

W
h
en am I... When am I gonna see
you again?

You want to see me again?

What do you think?

I

Uh, my hat...

Oh, uh...

G
o
od. Well, uh, I have a phone
now.

A
n
d the number's Museum-4516.

So promise you'll call soon.

On my honor.

L
No, no. Don't come down.

I can see myself out.

F
o
r
Christ's sake, Julia, what do
you think you're doing?

Y
o
u're supposed to be playing a
whore,

not a schoolgirl
with a crush on
her gym mistress.

You kissed him

a
s
if you were frightened of
catching his cold.

W
h
en you kiss, you should feel

a
s
if your bones are melting
inside your body.

T
o
n
gues, darling, that's what it's
about, tongues.

Now, I know you're a virgin.

D
o
n't give me the waterworks,
Julia, I'm too old for that.

Y
o
u
're a virgin, so what you have
to do is find a handsome young
man,

l
i
ke your juvenile man, Michael
Gosselyn.

Go back to your rooms,

t
a
k
e your clothes off, lie on the
bed, open your legs

a
n
d ask him to give it to you
hot, sweet and strong.

I
f
t
hat doesn't improve your
acting, then nothing will.

Right, let's do it again.

What's so funny?

I
f
eel as though I'm a 2-year-old.

T
h
at's 88 years you've lost in a
week.

Tell us the secret.

W
e
'll bottle it and make a
fortune.

Hmm.

D
a
mn it all, Miss Lambert, you
don't look so bad.

Y
o
u can go on playing
25-year-olds,

3
0
-year-olds for a good long time
yet.

And then what?

Whoo!

M
o
thers, grandmothers and old
maids.

B
u
gger playwrights. Can't write
for women.

T
h
ey're all men, that's the
trouble.

Yes?

Good morning.

T-O-M.

You promised to call me.

Give a girl a chance.

W
h en am I going to see you again?

A
s
soon as I have a moment to
spare.

C
o
me to tea after the matinee.

O
h
, I'm not falling for that one
again.

H
o
w about dinner after the show
then?

If you insist.

I do.

♪ On the silver screen

H e melts her foolish heart in every single scene

A lthough she's quite aware that here and there

A re traces of the cad about the boy

L ord knows she's not a fool girl

♪ She really shouldn't care

L ord knows she's not a school girl

I n the flurry of her first affair

W ill it ever cloy this odd diversity

O f misery and joy I told them

L
o
ok, there's Lord Crumley over
there.

A
n
d I think that's Lady Laweston.

W
h
at have you been reading, Debrett's?

D
ebrett's?No, The Tatler.

O
h

O
h
, you want to get on, do you?

I
w
ant to get on you, Julia.

Don't be disgusting.

But I want you.

I do.

Y ou're the loveliest girl that one

I want you.

Y
o
ur conversation's frightfully
limited, Tom.

Dance with me.

What time is it?

O
h
, well, uh, I... I forgot to
put on my watch.

Have you pawned it?

No, no, I just, uh,

I

♪ They'll never believe me

♪ They'll never believe me

T hat from this great big world

♪ You've chosen ♪

H
e
treated you like a tart.

W
h
ich of course is what you are.

J
U
LIA: He was my earth, my moon,

a
n
d all the stars in the
firmament.

W
H
The photo's in the
wrong place!

Farewell, my love.

Y
o
u were wonderful tonight, my
darling.

Bloody marvelous.

You almost made me cry.

Only almost?

I

Thanks, Archie.

A
n
d what've you done to your eyes?

H
m
m? Some new makeup?

I

Your call, Mr. Dexter.

Hmm.

S
o
rry about the photo, it won't
happen again.

Hmm.

Your call, Miss Lambert.

You're forgiven.

What's the matter with her?

Darling, Julia.

Y
o
u were quite wonderful tonight.

I

Thank you.

Y
e
s, I believe I was firing on
all cylinders.

A
n
d I'm starving, absolutely
ravenous.

E
v
ie, what have we got for supper
tonight?

Tripe and onions.

O
h
, how divine. I adore tripe and
onions.

M
i
chael, Michael, if you love me,

i
f
you've got any spark of
tenderness

in that hard heart of yours,

l
e
t me have a bottle of beer.

Beer?

Julia.

Oh, Evie, that's for you.

Uh, please?

J
u
lia, I think it's a damn shame.

J
U
LIA: What is?

W
e
ll, that you're taking the play
off.

The good news is,

I

w
h
o wants the theater for three
months,

s
o I said they could have it.

I

a
t
the thought of being with you.

W
e
'll have such fun at my place,
Julia.

Y
o
u could do anything you like.

Rest. Anything.

I

b
u
t I'm beginning to enjoy myself
again.

Oh, but...

a
n
d then find something new for
the autumn.

B
u
t I've... I... I've... I've
told the Italians.

Then un-tell them.

A
n
d I was so looking forward to
France.

Stars will be stars.

I forgot.

What?

Hmm...

Oh, my God. A Cartier.

W
e
ll spotted. When's your
birthday?

November 20.

Hmm.

Happy Birthday.

U
h
, but it's not November 20.

D
o
n't be so pedantic. Open it.

O
h
, that's the one thing I've
wanted my whole life.

Thank you.

Uh, geez, it's lousy

I
c
an't give you anything in
return.

G
i
ve me that watch you pawned to
buy me supper.

H
a
ve you redeemed it yet? Ah!
Thanks.

I
t
'll amuse me to wear it.

I love you, Julia.

T
h
is is total insanity. I'm old
enough to be...

God, I'm a fool,

I'm such a bloody fool.

G
o
od morning, Evie. Where's my
wife?

In your study.

My study?

What's she doing there?

Exercising.

Exercising?

What are you doing?

S
w
imming the Channel, what do you
think I'm doing?

Yeah, but why?

M
i
ss Phillips said my tummy
needed tightening,

so I'm tightening it.

Oh.

O
h
, yes, I had a thought.

W
e
should take a country house

for the summer.

What do you think?

I'll talk to you later.

M
I
C
HAEL: So do you think a house
for the summer's a good idea?

Yes.

Golf, swimming, tennis.

I
t
'll be especially good for
Roger. He loves golf.

T
h
e
n he's gonna have to decide
what's he gonna do with his
life.

I
t
hink he should go to university.

H
e
doesn't want to, and we
shouldn't insist.

It's his life.

Oh, yes, I had another idea.

Y
o
u remember that young chap I
introduced you to?

Which young chap?

T
h
at American. Good-looking
fellow.

Remember?

N
o

H
e
wants to learn the business.

Tom Fennel's his name.

American, you must remember.

Vaguely.

W
e
ll, he's frightfully good at
his job.

H
e
's a wizard with money.

L
o
ts of American ideas for
avoiding tax.

What about him?

W
e
ll, I thought we might invite
him down

for a couple of weeks
to spend his holiday
with us.

W
h
y would we want to do that?

H
e
'll be company for Roger.

H
e
's only a bit older.

R
o
ger will like him, I'm sure of
it.

Shall I ask him?

Hmm.

Ah!

J
U
LIA: Remind me to keep
exercising.

S
o
, will you come and stay?

M
i
chael says the house is
frightfully comfortable.

Probably not.

I

J
U
LIA: What fun.

C
H
A
RLES: Well, you'll be busy,
won't you?

L
o
oking for a new play, reading
scripts.

So, what do you think?

H
e
hasn't done justice to your
eyes.

J
U
L
IA: As a matter of fact, there
is a play that interests me.

It's about an older woman

w
h
o has an affair with a younger
man.

Oh, a farce.

Why do you say that?

W
e
ll, because everyone laughs at
the older woman.

N
o
, not in this play. It's rather
serious.

T
h
e Act One curtain's good.

I
t
comes as a shock to her.

What does?

T
h
at she's fallen in love with
the boy.

A
n
d it happens just when
everything

s
e
emed to her so dull and
unpromising,

as if her life was over.

S
h
e finds the affair exhilarating.

A
n
d everyone keeps telling her

she looks 10 years younger.

I
t
rust she doesn't confess to the
boy

t
h
at she loves him. That's always
fatal.

D
o
es it sound like something for
me?

O
h
, don't be ridiculous, Julia.

N
o
, your public would never stand
for it.

If such a woman asked me,

I
k
now what advice I'd give her.

What?

I
t
will only end in tears.

B
u
t, Charles, she can't do that.

Why ever not?

B
e
cause she's fallen in love with
him,

t
h
at's why. She's helpless.

Hmm.

The character in the play.

Dolly, old thing,

how are you?

I
h
aven't seen you for ages.

S
i
t down and make yourself, uh,

comfy.

S
o
, come to see that the old
firm's raking in

the dividends for you?

M
i
chael, I'll come straight to
the point.

Y
o
u know I'm not one to gossip,

b
u
t...but I'm upset about Julia.

I
t
h
ink you ought to know that
people are beginning to talk.

What the devil do you mean?

W
e
ll, it's absurd that at her age,

s
h
e should make herself so
conspicuous

with a young boy.

O
h
, you mean Tom Fennel? Don't be
such a fool, Dolly.

I'm not a fool.

W
h
en someone is as well-known as
Julia

a
n
d
they're always seen with the
same man, naturally people talk.

T
o
m Fennel is a very good type of
American.

He's clean, honest
and by way of being
a gentleman.

He's boring, dull,

common and a snob.

He's just using Julia.

He's a little gold digger.

C
a
n you look me in the eyes,
Dolly,

and tell me you really think

J
u
lia's having an affair with him?

No.

Ah.

T
h
e truth is, Michael, I've
hardly seen her.

S
h
e never telephones anymore,
and...

And...

I
u
nderstand, Dolly, believe me.

S
h
e's very fond of you, you know
that,

b
u
t she's bound to have other
friends.

I don't think chaps

s
h
ould talk about their wives to
others.

I
t
hink it's frightfully bad form,

b
u
t let me explain something to
you about Julia.

S
e
x doesn't mean a thing to her.

I
t
was different in the beginning.

T
h
en she could be somewhat
tiresome sometimes.

B
u
t after she had Roger, she
changed.

H
a
ving a baby seemed to settle
her.

A
l
l
those instincts went into her
acting, you see.

G
o
ssip isn't good for business,
Michael.

I
m
ean, if Julia had one flagrant
affair after another,

nobody would notice,

but this boy,

he's half her age.

T
h
e public has always looked up
to you

a
s
such a devoted and loyal couple.

A
n
d so we are, damn it. In our
way.

D
e
voted, united, but not...

H
o
w shall I put it? Not
possessive.

We're a very modern couple.

M
I
CHAEL: Hello, Roger, my boy.

Hello, Daddy.

G
l
ad to be finished at Eton?

No Mummy?

N
o
, it's Saturday. She's got two
shows.

3 and 4 pence, sir.

M
I
CHAEL: She'll be down first
thing in the morning.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, sir.

H
e
re, let me give you a hand.

S
h
e's bringing a young chap down
with her,

your age more or less.

A
Y
ank. I think you'll like him.

I get no kick from champagne

M ere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all

S o tell me why should it be true

T hat I get a kick out of you

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Tell me.

I
t
's... I... I... I just don't...

I

What about?

T
e
ll me, Tom. What?

I
t
's money, I owe money.

Oh.

Is that all?

I
t
hought it was something serious.

W
e
ll, it's okay for you, Julia,

b
u
t I just can't afford all the
things we do.

Nightclubs, restaurants.

Sweetheart.

H
o
w can you let a trifle like
that upset you?

D
o
n't worry about it. I'll give
you the money.

N
o
, I... I couldn't take any
money from you.

What nonsense.

Why grudge me the happiness

i
t
gives me to get you out of a
hole?

♪ I get a kick out of you ♪

J
U
L
IA: I thought tonight we might
play mahjong.

Do you play mahjong, Tom?

ROGER: Sorry, um, no can do.

W
e

M
I
CHAEL: Oh, I might come with
you.

T
h
e barmaid is an absolute
stunner.

God, you're all so vulgar.

W
e
ll, Mummy, you have an early
night.

I
t

More wine?

W
O
MAN: First word.

A
R
CHIE: First word.

A
L
L: Film. Cinema.

Three words. The first word...

S
h
e'll never get this one. Never
get this.

A
R
CHIE: Small.

W
O
MAN: Very small.

Oh, um, wee. Wee, wee, wee.

M
A
N: Wee.

There you go.

Second word, fly.

Very nice, Julia.

W
e
e, wee. Wee, wee. Wee, wee,
wee, wee.

J
u
lia, Julia, Julia, we're in
mixed company.

W
O
MAN: Oh, let's do the third
word.

A
R
CHIE: Third word. Third word.

W
i
nking! Winking!

Oh, oh, oh.

-Wee Willie Winkie!

Yes. Yes, you idiots.
Wee Willie Winkie.

S
h
irley Temple, God, you're
stupid.

I don't get "Willie."

I don't get "Willie."

Oh, well, they did.

It... It's an English thing.

Ah.

Okay.

A
V
ICE: Hello, you.

T
O
M: Hey.

R
O
GER: More water.

A
V
ICE: No, stop it!

R
O
GER: I told you.

O
h
, no. I just dried off, Tom, I
hate you.

I'm going to get you back.

R
O
GER: You're an uncivilized oaf.

And you're running away.

G
I
R
L: Come on, Michael, you
promised me a dance.

So I did, sorry.

I might be out of practice.

G
R
A
CE: Answer my question, Julia.

J
U
LIA: What question?

G
R
ACE: Would you?

J
U
LIA: Would I what?

GRACE: Tour
in The Second Mrs. Tanqueray

for £17 a week.

A
n
d it's a six-month tour,
darling.

Six months.

N
o
, I can't be away from home for
six months.

W
h
at would Archie do without me?

Oh, he'll think of something.

Mmm.

T
h
ey're so bloody mean, these
managements.

I
s
aid, "Give me £18 and I'll do
it."

A
n
d he said, "£18? £18!" Cheeky
little sod.

W
h
at are you doing tonight?

I don't know.

Do you know that girl's name?

Which girl?

Oh, that's Avice Crichton.

Y
ou couldn't have her for £80,

"never mind £18."

I thought that was witty.

D
o
n't you think that was witty?

Hilarious.

W
e
ll, they're not number-one
dates, darling.

Oh, not at all.

L
o
westoft, Bournemouth and
Chesterfield

and Christ knows where else.

Six months...

M
u
m
my, we're going to London to
have supper and do the clubs,
all right?

No. No, really not.

Y
o
u've all had too much to drink.

T
o
m hasn't. He's driving,

a
n
d one of the girls has a car.

T
O
M: Yeah. Yeah, we had a great
time

R
O
GER: Good night, old man.

Good night, pal.

J
u
l
ia, are you crazy, what do you
think you're you doing?

I
w
as about to ask you the same
thing!

Go back to your room.

I

Y
o
u've seen Roger more than
you've seen of me.

We haven't been alone.

W
h
at's wrong with you? You
haven't held me,

you haven't kissed me.

Shh.

S
O
Can't you see the state
I'm in?

A
n
d...and tonight... Tonight,
going off like that,

n
o
t a word to me, with that
little tart.

O
h
, Avice Crichton is not a tart.

A
v
ice Crichton certainly looks
like one.

I

G
o
od. I hope you remember to tip
the servants

o
r
do you want me to give you the
money, hmm?

T
h
ese are yours, take them back.

D
o
n't be such a bloody little
fool.

Y
o
u think I like being a kept boy?

Y
o
u think I like being humiliated
like this, huh?

I

That makes it even worse.

I
s
h
ould never have let you give me
these presents.

I
s
hould never have let you lend
me that money.

N
e
x
t week's the end of the month.
I'll pay you back the £200.

I've apologized.

D
o
n't go to London tomorrow,
please.

I love you, Tom.

Please.

I

J
I
M
MIE: Now, that's the real
thing, Julia,

o
r
my name's not Jimmie Langton.

B
u
t I've got some notes.

Y
o
u're still going over the top.

Y
o
u've got to learn restraint.

A
n
d for Christ's sake, stop
crying, will you?

W
e
a
ll know you can turn your tears
on and off like a tap,

s
o
turn them off, will you?

Well, bugger me,

y
o
u really are crying this time,
aren't you?

I
c
an't say I wasn't moved,

b
u
t you've got to learn to do it

so that it seems real.

S
e
ems to be real, that's the art
of acting.

H
o
ld the mirror up to nature,
ducky,

o
t
herwise you'll become a nervous
wreck,

take to drink

a
n
d end up a piss artist playing
gin-sodden whores

a
l
l over Scotland on number three
tours.

T
e
chnique, that's what I want you
to learn.

Technique.

I
s
aw the light on. Can I come in?

Y
e
s, of course. Is something
wrong?

N
o
. You've been crying.

N
o
, no, just a bad dream.

What is it, sweetheart?

W
e
picked up a couple of girls
tonight.

Who did?

Tom and me.

Oh.

T
o
m made me promise I wouldn't
tell you.

He said you'd be furious.

Were they tarts?

No, they're on the stage.

J
o
an asked me if I could get her

a
n
understudy in your next play.

Yes, tarts.

I just had to tell you.

Tell me what?

I thought it was about time

I
f
ound out what it was all about.

Roger, what do you mean?

Love.

Love?

It's not that great, really.

I
d
on't know why everybody makes
such a fuss about it.

M
u
mmy, what's the matter?

You are upset.

Why are you crying?

O
h
, because you're such a little
boy.

Don't cry.

Hmm.

I needed to tell you.

I
t
had to happen sooner or later.

I
t
makes me feel so old.

"Age cannot wither her,

n
or custom stale her infinite
variety."

If I'd been Cleopatra,

I

To tell you the truth,

I didn't enjoy it much.

Oh, you're so very,

very young.

I'll grow out of it.

Hmm.

I may go abroad for a while.

Oh, where?

I
d
on't know. Italy, France.
Abroad.

I say,

about...about that understudy,

is there any chance for Joan?

Tell her to write to me.

Thanks. Good night.

Good night, darling.

An understudy, my foot.

Wait.

I
t
's from you know who.

I
d
on't want to be disturbed.

Good matinee?

All right,

b
u
t I'm not feeling very well.

D
r
aw up a chair. Sit down.

What's the matter?

N
o
thing. I haven't been sleeping.

I
h
ad a post card from Roger.

He's in Naples.

S
a
ys he's having a great time.

Y
e
s
, but you haven't come here
just to tell me that, have you?

N
o
, it's something else. I, uh...

I
c
an't pay you back the money
that I owe you.

I
k
now I said at the end of last
month.

But I just don't have it.

I could pay it off.

I
h
ate having to ask for more
time. But...

D
o
n't be such a bloody little
idiot, Tom.

It's so humiliating, Julia.

G
e
ez, when you said you'd pay my
tips for me,

h
o
w do you think that made me
feel?

I
s
aid I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.

I was jealous of you

s
p
ending so much time with Roger.

I was jealous.

I
w
as jealous of you going out

a
n
d having a good time without me.

Is that so horrible?

I
s
hould never have accepted
anything from you.

Y
o
u're everything in the world to
me.

You know that.

I
l
ove being with you. I don't
want to lose you.

I have few friends.

Real friends.

A
n
d you're the only person in my
life

w
i
th whom I can be entirely
myself.

Let's... Let's go...

L
e
t's go on seeing each other.
Please.

Oh, Julia.

Well, I've always said,

y
o
u're lucky you can cry without
your eyelids swelling.

Go to hell.

W
e
ll, you're looking a lot
happier,

I'll say that for you.

I hope with good reason.

I
f
you're thinking what I think
you're thinking,

then stop thinking.

A
l
l the same, Evie, you know what
I think?

No, what do you think?

What mugs men are.

W
e
l
l, they can't keep it in their
trousers, that's for sure.

L
You're a revolting hag.

Yes, I am happier.

E
v
erything will be all right now.

S
I can't help feeling...

I wish I didn't.

D
e
ep down, I can't help feeling...

What?

A
c
ertain contempt for that boy.

He's so transparent.

L ife is just a bowl of cherries

D on't make it serious life's too mysterious

Y ou work, you save, you worry so

B
u t you can't take your dough when you go, go, go

♪ So keep repeating ♪

A
r
e you dancing with me or with
someone else?

I'm sorry, I, uh,

I
c
a
n't get over what her royal
highness just said to me.

What? What did she say?

S
h
e said I ought to come and see
them in the country.

And I was just thinking,

y
o
u think it's okay if I asked
her to dance?

O
h
, you're such a dreadful snob,
Tom.

I
k
n
ow. That's why England's the
best place for me.

I'm glad we've quarreled.

W
e
're closer now than we've ever
been.

Tom?

What?

Can I ask you a favor?

Anything in the world.

Y
o
u know Julia Lambert well,
don't you?

No, not well, slightly.

Oh.

H
a
ve you been to bed with her?

Are you crazy?

S
h
e's old enough to be my mother.

What about her?

I
h
eard on the grapevine that
she's doing a new play

called Nowadays,

a
n
d there's a part for me in it.

So I wondered if you...

If I'd talk to her?

Yes. Please, Tom,

I

T
e
rrible play. Lovely part. Good
shop window.

I
f
you could get her to see me in
it...

I
s that all?

Consider it done.

I can get Julia Lambert

to do anything I want.

She eats out of my hand.

The part's
yours.

Don't be daft,

I

never mind the part.

You'll be in that play

or I'll never kiss you again.

Must say,

n
e
ver thought you'd keep this up.

N
o
r did I. But tummies will be
tummies.

S
a
w the preliminary budget for Nowadays.

Hmm.

M
u
st start auditioning. By the
way,

h
a
ve you ever heard of a girl
called Avice Crichton?

The name rings a bell.

I

I
w
as wondering if she might play
Sybil.

Guess how I heard about her.

How?

Through Tom.

He says she's clever.

S
h
e's playing in a Sunday night
show.

T
o
m
thinks it might be worthwhile
to go and have a look-see.

Well, why don't you?

G
o
ing down to sandwich to play
golf.

Staying the night.

W
o
uld it bore you awfully to go?

Tom'll take you.

I'll think about it.

H
m
m, am I late or were you early?

T
h
e curtain goes up sharp at 8:00.

I
h
ate getting to a play after
it's begun.

Remind me, uh,

w
h
at's the name of the actress
we're going to see tonight?

A
v
ice Crichton. You met her.

She came to lunch at Taplow.

W
e
even fought over her. Did we?

Mmm.

I
c
an't wait to hear what you
think of her.

S
h
e's so nervous knowing you're
gonna be out front.

Y
o
u
know, these Sunday performances
are like a couple of rehearsals,

but I said you'd understand.

Bottoms up.

I had a letter from Roger.

H
e
's having a fine old time. He's
in Rome now.

O
h
, yeah? She's awfully pretty.

W
h
o are we talking about now?

Avice Crichton.

Oh.

Y
e
a
h, she's got a great figure.
And she's very fair.

W
h
at with platinum and peroxide,

t
h
ere's no lack of blondes these
days.

Hers is natural.

I wonder how you know that.

K
e
ep the pace, Julia, don't rush
it.

Nice and easy.

God, this is undrinkable.

H
e
'll have to make a fresh pot.

Julia, please don't.

We'll be late.

I
d
o
n't suppose it matters if we
miss the first few minutes.

B
u
t I said we'd be there on the
dot.

S
h
e's got a very good scene right
at the beginning.

I

W
i
lson, can you make a fresh pot?

This tastes of bitter aloes.

Bravo!

W
h
at time did the doctor say he
was coming?

Any moment now.

Which one's Avice?

The pretty one.

A
V
ICE: Oh, Cynthia,

I
d
o hope he will be able to help
me.

P
R
O
MPTER: "He's meant to be a
miracle worker."

H
e
's meant to be a miracle worker.

I
d
o so want to see again, Cynthia.

M
i
ss Lambert, this is such an
honor.

You were great.

I

A
n
d it's awfully good of you to
come round.

I

b
u
t I took a fancy to the part.

Oh, my dear,

p
l
ease don't weep. You're nervous.

A
n
d nerves are the respect we pay
our audience.

I
t
was only the first few moments.

A
f
t
er that, you were splendid,
quite splendid.

Thank you, Miss Lambert.

Thank you so much.

G
o
od night, Miss Crichton, and
thank you.

Y
o
u're so good at being blind.

Oh, thank you.

Ask her.

Miss Lambert,

i
s
i
t true you're putting on a new
play soon?

Yes.

I
f
there's a part for me in it,

could I audition for you?

I

I
f
you were to put in a good word
for me,

that would help so much.

I
t
ake my husband's advice more
often than he does mine.

O
h
, and good night. Please, cheer
up.

You should go a long way.

Y
o
u didn't think much of her, did
you?

O
n
the contrary, I think a great
deal of her.

She's so energetic.

I
d
on't feel like going to a
restaurant.

B
o
lton, straight home, please.

M
i
chael's away. We can talk.

Tell me,

h
a
ve you been to bed with Avice
Crichton?

Of course not.

Why not? She's pretty.

S
h
e's not that sort of girl. I
respect her.

H
m
m, do you know what I think?

I
t
hink you're madly in love with
her.

Are you?

T
h
ere's no need to break up the
happy home.

Y
e
ah, I'm sorry. I don't know why
I did that.

Y
o
u
did it because you haven't the
guts to tell me the truth.

Y
o
u're in love with that girl,
aren't you?

Why not admit it?

I
s
it because you think it would
harm her chances

o
f
playing Sybil in the new play?

Y
o
u ought to know me well enough
by now

t
h
a
t I would never let sentiment
interfere with business.

What do you mean?

I think she's rather a find.

I'll tell Michael.

I

O
h
, Julia, you're wonderful.

Hell, I'm so fond of you.

You...

I'm fond of you.

I

And it pleases me to think

t
h
at you liked going to bed with
me.

But let's face it.

I

and you,

y
o
u've never been in love with me.

W
e
both knew it couldn't last.

Hmm.

Y
o
u're in love with that girl,
aren't you?

You might as well admit it.

Yes.

Go now. Please.

F
o
r
Christ's sake, Julia, what do
you think you're doing?

You disappoint me.

O
h
, dear, oh, dear, you really do.

A
f
ter all I've taught you?

You can't just stand there

l
i
ke a spare prick at a wedding.

F
o
r Christ's sake, Julia, assert
yourself.

I
t
's you that matters. You. Only
you.

A
l
l's fair with love and the
theater, ducky.

N
o
one will ever know how much I
loved him.

He was my earth, my moon,

a
n
d all the stars in the
firmament.

Farewell, my love.

O
h
, evening, Mr. Gosselyn.

I
d
idn't expect you back tonight.

How was the golf?

Erratic.

How was the girl?

Oh.

Brilliant.

Very talented.

Yes, but can she act?

Oh, she has to play Sybil.

S
h
e's very pretty. Audition her.

You'll see what I mean.

M
I
CHAEL: I saw the play tonight.

J
U
LIA: Hmm. We took five calls.

J
u
lia, I've got something to say
to you.

D
o
n't fly into temper, just
listen.

What is it?

W
h
y did you give such a lousy
performance?

A lousy performance?

T
h
at just shows how little you
know.

I

Balls. You were awful.

They adored me tonight.

T
h
e public are jackasses.

You were barnstorming.

F
a
lse from beginning to end.

H
o
w dare you speak to me like
that,

you little shit?

G
e
t out of my room! What do you
know?

You can strike me,

y
o
u can swear at me, you can yell
the roof off.

T
h
e
fact remains that your acting
has gone all to hell.

A
n
d I'm not going to start
rehearsing Nowadays

w
i
t
h you playing up like a drama
queen suffering from asthma.

G
e
t someone else to play the part!

Don't be stupid, Julia!

I

A
n
d then I want you to go abroad.

Have a break.

G
o
and see your mother in Jersey.

We'll start rehearsing
Nowadayswhen you...

When you get back.

Am I really that bad?

M
I
CHAEL: Yes.

D
o
n't let the world outside
cheapen your gifts.

A
n
d what Jimmie Langton used to
say,

Y
our only reality is the
theater."

I hate myself. I'm a slut.

I

N
e
vertheless, you're a great
actress.

Not tonight.

No. Not tonight.

O
h
, darling, I'm... I'm tired
out. I...

So stupid of me. I should...

You're right. You're right.

T
h
e only thing is to go away.

Thank you.

M
R
S. LAMBERT: It's so good to see
you.

And no drafts,

t
h
at's very important, Julia,
dear.

A
u
nt Carrie and I will be very
careful

t
o
see that you never sit in a
draft.

A
n
d you must wear socks and
woolen vests.

I
w
ould sooner wear a shroud.

O
h
, well, we will discuss it in
the morning.

T
U
RNBULL: Miss Avice Crichton.

Good afternoon.

AVICE: Good afternoon.

I'm Michael Gosselyn.

Good afternoon, Mr. Gosselyn.

W
h
at are you going to do for us?

I
t
hought I'd do something from Twelfth Night.

Viola.

Good. In your own time.

M
ake me a willow cabin at your
gate

a
nd call upon my soul within the
house..."

N
o
w do it as if you've got a cold.

I beg your pardon?

Can you do it again,

but this time

a
s
if you've got a bad cold in the
nose.

N
A
"Make me a willow
cabin at your gate...

A
nd call upon my soul within the
house

W
rite loyal cantons of contemned
love

a
nd sing them loud even in the
dead of night

"Halloo your name..."

T
h
ank you. Can you do a sneeze?

A what?

C
a
n you do a good, big sneeze?

I think so.

I

I've got it!

She's coming.

D
o
n't over-dramatize, dear.

J
u
st say, "Here's a telegram,"

a
s
if it's the most natural thing
in the world.

Y
e
s, but I hate telegrams.

Um, Julia, dear,

s
i
t down and, uh, don't be
alarmed.

What's happened?

W
e
ll, I'm afraid there's a
telegram for you.

Oh.

Oh, how lovely.

I only realize now

h
o
w terribly I've missed you all
these months.

A
n
d I you. God, I've missed you.

C
o
me on, tell me all the gossip.

Oh, let's see.

J
o
hnny Gore-Barker has run off
with Bunty Robinson.

No.

He can't have.

S
h
e looks like the back of a bus.

O
h

A
n
d everyone's talking about this
new girl,

but of course you know that.

T
h
e one who's to be in your next
play.

H
e
r name's Avice Crichton,
something like that.

M
i
chael says she's to be the new
Julia Lambert.

Y
e
s, yes, he wrote to me.

I
t
was my idea. I'm delighted.

She's very pretty.

How madly generous of you.

C
H
A
RLES: And London was full of
your mischief, Julia.

J
U
LIA: Was it?

C
H
ARLES: It sounds as if you
needed a hand to hold.

Are you through the worst?

I think my vanity

w
a
s more wounded than my heart.

I

I
l
ove you. I always have. Always
will.

C
h
arles, we're Miles from home.

T
h
ere's no one here who knows us.

Just... Honey...

What?

D
o
n't let your vanity be wounded
again, um.

I'm not worth it.

There'd be no reason.

I
l
ove you in... In my own way.

J
u
lia, we've always known what
that means.

Y
o
u can't be in the theater and
that naive.

I
l
ove you more than you can
imagine.

But...

But what?

I play for the other side.

Charles.

Oh, darling.

Hello.

J
U
LIA: Oh, Grace.

I

W
e
ll, it's not much of a part,
but it is the West End.

Hello, dear.

H
e
llo, Michael, the play is
wonderful.

I

Mr. Walter Gibbs.

Oh, I can't tell you

h
o
w proud I am that you're on Nowadays.

How sweet of you.

B
u
t
you've given me a monstrous
speech at the end of the play.

I hope I can learn it.

Y
o
u remember Miss Crichton.

Miss Lambert.

She's playing Sybil.

M
i
ss Lambert, I just want you to
know...

Have you seen Tom recently?

Uh, once or twice.

M
i
ss Lambert, I just want you to
know

I

I

N
o
w, now, you mustn't be a little
spendthrift.

A
l
l right, everybody, we'll start.

WOMAN: Yeah.

So, if you'll find a chair.

"Oh, Millicent,

t
hen I asked if he could help me.

I
asked if he would give me a
letter to the bank.

"He lifted the towel.

H
is nose was bright red and his
eyes were streaming.

"He looked awful. He said,

N
A
"'I'm afraid I have a
nasty cold in my nose.'"

Good.

I
hope you didn't catch it from
him.

"You can't afford a cold

"with so much to do."

Go on.

"Then he sneezed.

I
don't think I've ever heard
such a sneeze, Millicent.

A
V
ICE: "It began with a monstrous
intake of breath.

"Wait, wait. I'll show you.

"I said, 'bless you.'

a
nd he said, 'I won't say thank
you

M
I
"'as it's meant to
bring misfortune.'"

W
e should have seen through him.

T
hen it would never have
happened.

"But nowadays

w
e're only interested in
appearances.

A
nd he did have the most
beautiful appearance."

U
h
, mumbo-jumbo. Bad luck to say
the last line.

M
I
CHAEL: Right, well, I think we
should call it a morning.

All right?

Couldn't be better.

G
o
od reading. Pleased with the
company?

You've cast it splendidly.

The girl's clever, isn't she?

Yes, isn't she?

W
e
ll, give my love to Roger. Ta.

I
w
ouldn't say this to your face,

so I'll say it to your back.

I've missed you.

And I've missed you, Evie.

I did the usual things.

I
s
aw the sights. Worked hard at
my Italian.

A
n
d went to the opera a good deal.

H
a
ve you made up your mind what
you're going to do yet?

I want to stop living

i
n
an atmosphere of make-believe.

T
h
at's your world, not mine.

And it stifles me.

What do you mean?

Once, when I was a kid,

I
w
as standing in the wings
watching you on-stage.

I
t
must've been a pretty moving
scene

b
e
cause I couldn't stop blubbing.

Y
o
u moved to the side of the stage

near where I was standing

a
n
d
you turned your back on the
audience, and you said,

in your ordinary voice,

W
h
at the bloody hell the
electrician thought he was doing

"with the bright lights."

A
n
d then in the same breath, with
a great cry of anguish

y
o
u just went on with the scene.

That was acting.

If I... If I truly felt

a
l
l the emotions I was
representing,

I'd be a wreck.

Y
o
u have a performance for
everyone.

F
o
r the servants, for Daddy, for
everybody.

A
n
d I don't think you really
exist.

Roger!

O
n
ce you told me something. I
don't remember exactly what,

but the exact same night

y
o
u said the same line on the
stage.

E
v
en the things you say are
second hand.

A
l
l I want is for you to be happy.

Y
o
u should talk this over with
your father.

M
m
m, Daddy's worse than you are.

B
u
t he only acts one part, thank
God,

a
n
d that's the handsomest man in
England.

T
h
e
n talk it over with someone of
your own age, then.

Tom, for instance.

Tom?

I thought you liked him.

No, I didn't like him at all.

You've dropped him,

haven't you?

I...

I
s
uppose I have, more or less.

G
o
od. He wasn't worthy of you.

R
o
ger, do you think I'm getting
old?

No, not you.

M
m
m, Tom's little tart's in your
play, I hear.

By the way,

s
h
e's having a fling with Daddy.

N
A
"How's your cousin
Millicent?"

And I said you were well.

He wanted to know...

I'm not happy

s
i
tting beside her on the bench.

A
f
ter all, it's Miss Crichton's
scene,

I
t
hink I'm too dominant here.

W
e
ll, move if you want to, but
where?

T
h
ere, on the stool, with my back
to the audience.

A
l
l I am is a feed in this scene

and it... It feels wrong

t
o
be on equal footing with Miss
Crichton.

I
d
on't mind, really, Miss Lambert.

No, no, no, no,

I

M
i
chael, what if I'm discovered
there

when the scene starts?

J
U
LIA: I could sit facing the
swing.

Then I don't have to move.

I can stay here

r
i
ght until Miss Crichton's exit.

J
U
L
IA: To thunderous applause,
I've no doubt. Hmm?

W
e
ll, I'm... I'm quite happy to
try it.

Go from the top.

J
U
L
IA: How was your interview with
Sir Philip?

Oh!

I
t
was like a scene out of Dickens.

G
He had the most dread...

Y
o
u
see? It's much better with me
here, isn't it?

W
e
ll, yes, it is, as long as you
don't mind

b
e
ing stuck down there for 10
minutes.

M
i
nd? Why should I mind? I
suggested it.

S
T
AGEHAND: Lower. Lower.

That's right.

I
t
was like a scene out of Dickens.

He had the most dreadful cold.

AVICE: So I said,

S
hould I come back another time?"

And he said,

N
"No, no, no, no, no,
no."

MICHAEL: Thank you,

a
n
d then give me all the light
you've got.

Can't do comedy in the dark.

Dolly, darling.

D
O
LLY: How's it all going?

S
p
lendid. How was... How was
France?

Splendid. How's Julia?

Splendid.

We're ready, Mr. Gosselyn.

Dolly, have a seat.

T
U
RNBULL: Thank you, uh, Miss
Lambert,

M
r
. Dexter, Miss Crichton on the
stage.

T
U
RNBULL: Hold the banging.

JULIA: Michael.

I
s
ay, that's awfully plain, Julia.

P
r
ecisely. But I want it for two
reasons.

F
i
rstly, it's awfully good for
the quick change,

just hooks up the back.

S
e
cond, I simply don't want in
any way

t
o
distract from Miss Crichton.

M
I
CHAEL: All right. Happy, Archie?

T
r
ousers need shortening a bit,

but that's all.

And Miss Crichton?

I
d
on't think it fits her properly.

E
s
pecially at the waist.

A
n
d she's got such a pretty
figure,

I
t
hink it needs to come in at
least half an inch.

I don't like it.

J
u
lia's being far too angelic.

SCHONBY ANDREWS SISTERS

O f all the boys I've known, and I've known some

U ntil I first met you I was lonesome

A nd when you came in sight, dear

M
y heart grew light and this old world seemed new to me

Y ou're really swell I have to admit

Y ou deserve expressions that really fit you ♪

"Nowadaysfrom J. L."
And the date. Very nice.

H
e
re's the list. Can you wrap
each separately

a
n
d have them sent round to the
theater

n
o
later than 5:00 this evening?

Of course, Miss Lambert.

I

S
A
L
ESMAN: It will make a beautiful
gift.

Yeah.

T-O-M.

Julia.

A
r
e you getting engaged to Avice?

O
h
, this. Oh, no. No, it's a
first-night gift.

S
h
e doesn't want to get engaged.

Wants her freedom.

D
o
esn't want anything to
interfere with her career.

Her what?

O
h
, yes, I... I see what you mean.

I

S
A
LESMAN: Will that be all, sir?

Yes.

Tom, how about giving me tea?

At your place.

For old times' sake.

Why not?

Give Avice this. Hmm?

It may bring her luck.

C
H
A
MBERLAIN: I have in my hand,
this piece of paper

s
i
gned by me, HerrHitler, and
Benito Macaroni

in Munich.

It is for peace in our time.

However, if there is a war,

t
h
en their majesties, the King
and Queen

a
n
d their two lovely daughters,

Elizabeth and Margaret Rose

and me and the entire cabinet

w
i
ll set sail immediately for
Canada!

You will stay here!

Break a leg.

M
I
C
HAEL: You're going to be a
sensation.

Terribly sorry.

Same from me, Julia.

A
n
d
you're coming to the party
tonight, aren't you?

O
f
course, wouldn't miss it. Thank
you both.

Y
e
s, thank you. Thank you.

Yes.

Y
o
u don't have a whiskey handy?

N
o

D
a
rling, we'll see you later.

D
o
l
ly, I'll do the other dressing
rooms and I'll see you in the
foyer.

U
h

D
O
LLY: Yes, of course.

G
I
BBS: Are... Are we leaving?

Half an hour, Miss Lambert.

So... So... So sorry.

C
A
LL BOY: Hello, Mr. Dexter.

MICHAEL: It's me.

C
A
L
L BOY: Half an hour please,
Miss Crichton.

Oh, Michael.

T
h
ank you for everything, Michael.

H
e
re's your first-night present.

I

Michael.

Sign on the front.

Here you are.

Oh, thank you.

G
o
od evening, Mrs. De Vries.

Good evening, Roger.

Charles.

Aunt Dolly.

S
w
eetheart, don't call me aunty.

Um, we should be going in.

Oh, yes.

I

I
t
's that way. It's that way.

J
o
in us upstairs. Got your ticket?

M
I
CHAEL: The first stage, come on.

USHER: Sir.

MICHAEL: Thank you.

N
o
, no, no, no, no, no.

J
U
L
IA: He did have the most
beautiful appearance.

N
o
, no, no, no, no, no. No, no,
no.

N
o
, that one, you silly cow.
Quickly.

What are you up to?

Well, give it.

H
o
w was your interview with Sir
Philip?

I
t
was like a scene out of Dickens.

He had the most dreadful cold.

He was in... In bed, inhaling.

So I...

So I said,

S
hould I come back another time?"

And he said,

AVICE: "No, no."

J
U
LIA: I used to do that as a
child.

I was very prone to colds.

I
n
my nose. I sneezed a good deal.

I was always inhaling

o
v
er steaming water and
camphorated oil.

Oh, Millicent.

T
h
en I asked if he could help me.

A
VICE: I asked if he would give
me

a letter to the bank.

He lifted the towel.

H
i
s nose was bright red and his
eyes were streaming.

He looked awful. He said,

N
A
"I'm afraid I have a
nasty cold in my nose."

You're lying to me, Sybil.

Y
o
u're not putting on that cold

b
e
cause you've caught it from Sir
Philip, haven't you?

Who wrote this balls?

J
U
LIA: Was it because you
snuggled up beside him?

W
a
s it because he made a pass at
you?

Tell me the truth, Sybil.

He sneezed.

Oh.

I don't think

I

I
t
began with a monstrous intake
of breath.

Wait, wait. I'll show you.

I said...

Oh, my God.

P
R
OMPTER: "Bless you."

"Bless you."

I said, "Bless you."

A
n
d he said, "I won't say thank
you

a
s it's meant to bring
misfortune."

J
U
LIA:
Misfortune, indeed.

J
U
LIA: No, now I get it!

Now I understand!

Y
o
u're dilly-dallying with Sir
Philip and young Ben.

N
o
wonder you caught a cold.

Shame on you, Sybil.

Which is it to be?

The old man or the young boy?

J
U
L
IA: Silly question, I suppose.
I know which one I'd choose.

N
o
, no, no, no, don't you go.

S
t
ay exactly where you are. I
haven't finished with you.

Not remotely.

I want to know.

Did he make a pass at you

or did you make a pass at him?

I

not the young boy.

My God, this is complicated!

God!

God, God.

J
U
LIA: Oh, no, no, don't cry.

N
A
It'll only make you
more miserable!

I

S
i
r Philip got a little fresh
with you,

didn't he?

A
n
d you, you, you, you couldn't
resist.

I
t
's rather difficult to get fresh

when you have a cold.

What did he say?

Q
"Please, please,

"make an old man happy."

N
a
ughty, Sybil, very naughty.

T
r
ying to have Sir Philip on the
side.

A
n
d I've always found it very
uncomfortable

on the side.

J
U
LIA: I think we should punish
him, don't you?

Or you.

P
e
rhaps we should punish you.

B
u
t how? That's the question. How?

Hmm?

I know. We'll tell Ben.

O
h
, don't pretend you've
forgotten him. Ben.

B-E-N.

J
U
LIA: Oh, dear, have I upset you?

Never mind, Sybil.

J
u
st remember, all's fair in war
and...

War and...

O
h
, hell, the word escapes me.

A
U
DIENCE: Bravo! Bravo!

MAN: Bravo!

You're a monster.

A
w
onderful, glorious monster.

I
t
was great! You were superb!

Sweetheart.

A real tour de force.

D
o
n't change a word. Keep it just
like that.

G
o
d, I hope... I hope I can
remember what I said.

You're so naughty.

That's why you love me.

Yes.

That cow!

S
h
e is vile, disgusting, cruel.

She is a double-dyed bitch!

W
e
have a hit, Tom. A palpable
hit, my boy.

I want to leave.

I
n
ever want to act again.

D
o
n't be so silly, you were
wonderful.

Absolutely superb.

A
n
d now you're under contract.

I
t
's clear the play's going to
run and run.

S
o
you'll have the opportunity to
hone your performance.

J
u
st think, eight shows a week
for a year,

p
l
aying opposite Julia Lambert.

I
t
'll be an experience you'll
never forget.

J
u
st have a great time, have fun.

S
No! No!

Y
o
u're still the greatest actress
in England.

I

And try not to be late.

I
t
's going to be simply heavenly.

I'll be there.

Splendid.

M
a
gnificent. Absolutely wonderful.

♪ They asked me how I knew

♪ My true love was true

ANTOINE: Champagne,
MademoiselleLambert?

No. Beer. A pint.

E
v
eryone here is talking about

h
o
w wonderful you were tonight.

Ah, thank you.

♪ Cannot be denied

T hey said someday you'll find

♪ All who love are blind

Y
o
ur only reality is the theater.

A
n
ything else, the outside world,

w
h
at civilians call the real
world,

is nothing but fantasy.

A
n
d I bloody well won't let you
forget it.

Rubbish.

A
r
e you expecting a guest?

S
h
all I place another plate?

No, thank you, Antoine.

I

I want to dine alone tonight.

Quite alone.

♪ Yet today

♪ My love has flown away

♪ I am without

♪ My love

♪ Now laughing friends deride

♪ Tears I cannot hide

♪ So I smile and say

♪ When a lovely flame dies

♪ Smoke gets in your eyes

♪ So I chaffed them

A nd I gaily laughed to think

♪ They could doubt my love

♪ Yet today

♪ My love has flown away

♪ I am without

♪ My love

♪ Now laughing friends deride

♪ Tears I cannot hide

♪ So I smile and say

♪ When a lovely flame dies

♪ Smoke gets in your eyes ♪