All language subtitles for 3 - Sex And The Married Detective-eng

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(RADlO TUNlNG)

JOAN ON RADIO: For those
of you who read my new book,
The Courtesan Complex,

and I hope you do,
even if you have to get it
from the library,

you'll find a big, fat chapter
called "Sexual Fantasies
and Fantastic Sex. "

Patients I work with here
at the Allenby Clinic,

Iisteners who write
to us, people I meet
around the country,

everyone thinks that
his sexual fantasies,
or her sexual fantasies,

are unique and personal
and perhaps
even a little shameful.

We get a lot of call-ins
about that.

And the fact is
that those fantasies

are as common
and as healthy as rain.

The big secret is
everybody's got 'em.

For women, one of
the most common fantasies
is that of being a courtesan.

A highly desired,
incredibly beautiful
prostitute,

bestowing her favors
on her chosen lover.

In the few moments
I have left,
I want to make the point

that everybody dreams
the same sexy dream.

So don't be shy
about including it
in your love games.

As long as they're just games,
I give you my permission.

The book, again,
is The Courtesan Complex,

and until next time,
this is Doctor Joan Allenby

suggesting that a rich
sexual fantasy life

is as important to good sex
as choosing the right lover.

Bye-bye for now.

Well, now.
Well, now.

Why did you ever leave me?

I give you three seconds
to run into my arms.

Male domination.

One.
I hate your business trips.

Two.
I hate my business trips.

Three.
Oh, boy.

When do we
really get serious
about this?

Tonight in Chicago.

Mmm-mmm.
Can't go with you.

No, David,
you promised.

I promised you
your own television show,

and the deal makes here,
tomorrow, LA.

What's more important anyway,
happiness or money?

MADGE:
The Doctor Allenby Clinic.
Good afternoon.

I loathe those damn
radio conventions.

The good old
syndication boys.

Can't your meeting
wait another day?
No.

So you'll have
to carry the flag
in Chicago.

I hate it.
Come with me.

Not a prayer.

She's crazy about him.
I haven't got a chance.

Madge, did you
call a car
for Dr. Allenby?

Limo's waiting
downstairs.

He may not be
so crazy about her.

There may be
hope yet, Doctor.

Joanie, believe me,

one day in Chicago
will do it.

You'll dazzle the buyers
and head for the hills.

Uh-huh. You know what
"fat chance" means?

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Yeah?

Joan, I've done a new paper
for the journal.

"Narcissism and Frigidity."
You might take a look at it
on the plane.

I will if I get time.
Simon, did you enjoy
my broadcast?

What makes you think
I listened to it, Doctor?

If I hated a program
as much as you hate mine,

I'd probably listen
out of sheer malicious spite.

Cheap, shoddy
commercialization.

Actually, Simon,
there's nothing
cheap about it.

Joan, you need
to get a move on.

Plane tickets,
itinerary.

Limo will meet you
at O'Hare.
Yep.

Hotel reservations,
and Agatha Christie.

If nothing else,
she'll help you sleep.

Cindy, how could l
survive without you?

Oh, you can't.
It's job security.

Bye-bye.

DAVlD: For a couple of
lovesick kids, we sure do have
a hard time getting together.

JOAN: Oh, good.
That sounds like guilt.

Where there's guilt,
there's hope.

Did you call
your mother today?

And when was the last time
you made love to me?

I don't remember.

Oh, very good!

Does that make you
feel guilty?

Just makes me want
to make love to you.

Wait for me, cowboy.

I adore you.

WOMAN ON PA:
Ladies and gentlemen,

we regret Flight 141
to Chicago O'Hare Airport
is still delayed.

Doctor Allenby.

Doctor Allenby.

We anticipate the fog will be
with us through the night.

Oh, we're finally boarding.

I'm afraid not.
The airport's
still socked in.

What about Burbank,
or one of the other airports?

Dr. Allenby,
may I make
a suggestion?

Why don't you get
a good night's sleep at
one of the airport hotels,

and I can book you
on the first flight
in the morning?

If I'm going to sleep,
I can do better than a hotel.

I appreciate all your help.

My pleasure.

I enjoyed reading
The Courtesan Complex.

I enjoyed writing it.

We regret all flights
departing and arriving will be
delayed until further notice.

Will Mr. Bruce Phillips please
go to the white courtesy phone
in the main lobby?

Good evening,
Dr. Allenby.

Hello, Ozzie.
Final exams?

Yes. In law school,
every day is final exams.

You think so, counselor?
Try a doctorate in psychology.

(WOMAN MOANlNG)

(WOMAN GlGGLlNG)

(LAUGHlNG)

DAVlD: I'm hungry.

ClNDY: If I was a dessert,
what kind of dessert
would I be?

Bavarian chocolate
cream pie,

Iaced with rare
Napoleon brandy.

ClNDY: What about
your Dr. Joan?

DAVlD: Rice pudding.

(ClNDY LAUGHlNG)

STEWARDESS: We're now landing
at LAX. Thank you for flying
with us, and have a nice day.

WOMAN ON PA: Passengers
from Flight 219 from Chicago

may pick up your baggage
at the first door.

Oh, hello again.

Tell me how much
you missed me.

We made the TV deal.

That much?

Now give it to me,
come on.

Gladly.

How was Chicago?

Like an all-day
dental appointment.

David?
Yo.

How long we been together?

Business or pleasure?

Take your pick.

Three years.

You ever get tired of me?

Come on.

Does the sky
get tired of the sun?

Still, I think it's time
we took some of my
professional advice.

Advise me, Doctor.

Fun and games.

What flavor?

Sultan and slave girl.

Headmistress and choirboy.
Whatever.

That's some "whatever."

We've got the reception
at the Music Center tonight.

Is that really
what you want to do?

What do I really
want to do?

There's a cocktail lounge
called Buckets.

Meet me there at 9:00.

Boy, have I got
plans for you.

(CLASSlCAL MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Joan!

Oh, Joan,
thank God
you've come.

I've forgotten
everyone's name.

Relax, Helen.
It looks like
a wonderful turnout.

Well, now comes phase two,
the prying open
of the checkbook.

Go. Circulate.
Get money for music.

Married women circulate.

Single women mingle.

Joan.

Walter, I didn't
know you were going
to be here tonight.

Well, I'm testing
my agoraphobia.

If I can stand all this,
I can stand anything.

Where's David?

Well, he had to work.
Oh.

Well, why don't the two of us
find a quiet corner and share
some hors d'oeuvres?

I'll protect you
from the rabble.

I'd love to, Walter,
but the committee members
are supposed to mix.

Enjoy the concert.

Oh, excuse me.
I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, what a marvelous hat!
I love it!

Thank you.

I don't believe
we've met.

I'm Helen Hendrix
from the committee.

Have you ever considered
making a donation?

Can I buy you a drink?

Competition?

Never seen her before.

Did she buy the chair?

Not yet, she didn't.

I'll deliver this myself.

Drinks are on the house.

Hi. I'm Lisa.

Hi, Lisa.
Matches?

That's for friendship
and understanding.

Good luck, Lisa.

What?

Hello, sailor.
You come here often?

You're playing games, Joan?

Yes, and I'm not Joan.
I'm Lisa.

Come on, David, loosen up.
Play with me a little.

How do you like your Lisa?

Lisa has never looked
more delectable.

Would you like
to take Lisa home
with you?

Say yes.

Yes.

Money.

Enough?

For starters.

(LAUGHlNG)
Uh-huh. Yeah.

Come on up
and see the doctor.

Is Lisa a doctor?
Mmm-hmm.

Wait till you see
what kind of doctor.

Good evening,
Mr. Kincaid.

How long till the bar, Ozzie?

Uh, next spring,
Mr. Kincaid.

You'll do fine.

Yeah, well, working nights,
I have plenty of
studying time.

That's the way I did it.

Shh.

What are we
whispering for?

My mother is sleeping in here.

Shh.

My Uncle Max
is in there.

Oh, right.

And this is my room.

No.

Let me do everything.

It's my evening.
I'm in charge.

You don't have
to do anything.

You're forbidden
to do anything,

except to enjoy
everything.

My glove.

Wait till you see
what I can do with this.

Where did you
learn all this, huh?

I wrote the book,
remember?

I'm your instrument
of absolute pleasure.

Don't go.

Just for a minute.

Don't look.

Get ready
for my real surprise.

I'm almost ready now.

What?

If I were a dessert,
what kind of dessert
would I be?

Sorry, but you can't
go in there.

Really?

I could spend the rest
of my life just watching
you walk toward me.

Thank you.

And now you can watch me
walk away from you.

Well, partner,
we did it,
concert and all.

What do you think?
Big success?

I think everything
came off perfectly.

OFFlCER: Okay, so let me
get this straight.
This is a complete log here

of everyone that came in
and went out of the building.
Is that correct, sir?

That's right.
Excuse me, officer.
Dr. Allenby?

Dr. Allenby,
I'm sorry.

Thank you, Ozzie.
I don't think
I believe it yet.

(ELEVATOR MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Whoa!

Thank you, thank you.

Joan.

Oh, Joan.

What can I say?
I know, Cindy.
Thank you.

Joan, it's so awful.
I feel so bad.

Thank you.
There's so much
to feel bad about, Madge.

Here.

Lieutenant Columbo.

This is Dr. Allenby.
Joan, this is Lieutenant
Columbo from the police.

You're Dr. Allenby?

I've been looking forward
to meeting you,

and here we rode all the way
up in the elevator together.

I'm, uh...

I'm very sorry, ma'am,
about what happened.

I'm not sure
what happened,
Lieutenant.

The call said David is dead,
shot to death last night.
That's all I know.

It's not a very pleasant
subject, ma'am.

Where did it happen?

In that bedroom, ma'am.

May I see the room?

Doctor.

I'm sorry, Dr. Allenby's
appointments are canceled
until further notice.

Well, Doctor,
I'm not sure you'll be
ready for all that yet,

being that you and the victim
were, as I understand it,
very close.

I'm not a stranger
to shock, Lieutenant.
I want to know what happened.

All right, ma'am,
if that's what you want.

Joan. Joan.

I called the radio people
and canceled your program
for the rest of the week.

Thank you, Simon.
That was very thoughtful.

Oh, Joan, did you get
a chance to look at
my new paper?

No, Simon. I did not.

You see, Doctor? This is all
what I didn't want you to see.

In here,
that's where it happened.

There?

That's where
he fell, ma'am,

after the woman shot him.

A woman?

If you'll forgive
my saying so, ma'am,
a very beautiful woman,

very desirable,
here in the bedroom
with Mr. Kincaid.

We got a description
from the night security guard.

Dark hair,
all dressed in black,
with a black fedora hat.

Does that strike a chord,
ma'am?

Would Mr. Kincaid
know anybody like that?

Would you know
anybody like that?

No. No, I didn't know that
David knew anyone like that.

Is there some explanation?

It's hard to come right out
and say it, ma'am,

but you can see there's
some kind of violence here.

And over here there's blood
on the carpet,

nothing to do with the body,
like he was hurting her.

I'm sorry to say, ma'am,
like he was making her
do something

she didn't want to do.

And she was armed.

Unless there was already
a gun in the room.

And she shot him.

At least that's the way
it seems.

I can assure you, Lieutenant,
there was no gun in this room.

You know,
I was wondering, ma'am,
what kind of room is this?

We're psychologists here,
Lieutenant.

Our patients come to us
with sexual problems.

Sometimes alone,
sometimes in couples.

Sometimes a room like this
can be conducive to solving
their sexual problems.

And we also use that part
for lecture purposes.

You mean, these people,
they go to bed here?

That's what the whole room
was designed for.

And the people there
are watching them?

No, Lieutenant.
I assure you,
they're quite alone.

But there's people out there.
I mean, in the hall.

There's people
all around here.
There are doors.

Yeah, but the people
out there know,

I mean,
that the couple is in here,
and the couple in here,

I mean, they know
that the people
out there know.

Lieutenant,
we're talking about therapy.
Everybody knows?

Does that disturb you?

Oh. Oh, no, ma'am.
No, no.

I'm just asking
questions, ma'am.

Just part of
the investigation.

Those are his things, ma'am.
What we call his effects.

Yes.

After death,
things have a way
of turning into effects.

And David turns
into a stranger.

JOAN: Buckets?

I think it's some kind
of a bar, ma'am.

I see.

And over here,
a cigarette stub.

Is that hers?

That's the assumption
we're working under, ma'am.

A smoker.

Lieutenant.
Yes, Sergeant?

A moment, ma'am.

When you went for coffee,
we found these hairs
on the victim.

Long black hairs,
like a woman's.

We searched the whole area
by the body, nothing yet.

These hairs were
on his right shoulder
and near his chest.

COLUMBO: Well, we have
the hairs, right?
Might tell us something.

Can I take
these things yet?

No, Sergeant,
not yet. No.

Lieutenant,
is there anything else
I should know?

Oh, oh, excuse me, ma'am.
I'm terribly sorry.

We get so wrapped up
in these things.

Little details like
a woman's cigarette.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
kept you waiting like that.

Ma'am, could you
take another look
at those effects?

Certainly.

Are you looking, ma'am?

Yes, Lieutenant,
I'm looking.

These are all the things
that were in Mr. Kincaid's
pockets.

Do you see anything
that's missing?
Something very puzzling?

I don't think I understand.

His keys, ma'am.
There aren't any keys.

If there aren't any keys,

how did the victim unlock
the door to your clinic
last night?

How did they get in here?

Yes, of course, his keys.
How very strange.

I suppose the woman
could have taken them.

Yes, that's very good,
Lieutenant.

In a moment of panic,
to escape, to steal his car,
she took his keys.

But, ma'am,
why would she do that?
She just murdered a man.

Why would she take a chance
on being seen driving his car?

I mean, even in panic,
I would think

she'd want to stay
as far away from that
car as she could.

Yes, I see.

On the other hand,

maybe she took the keys
not to drive the car,

but to get something
out of the car
which could identify her.

Something she bought
that day,

a dress from the cleaners,
a prescription.
Could be anything.

That's very clever,
Lieutenant.
That would explain everything.

But if it didn't, ma'am,
then the lady in black,

she'd be the one
who had the key
to your clinic.

But if that was true,
you certainly would have
some idea who she might be.

You see why I'm puzzled
by these keys?

Lieutenant,
I'm afraid that I'm not ready
to deal with all of this yet.

Would you mind
if I went back
to my office?

Oh, of course not, ma'am.
I'm sorry to bother you
with all of these questions.

I know what a terrible shock
this has been.

Thank you for
trying to shield me.
You've been very kind.

I'm sure you know by now
I'm always here for you.
Whatever I can do.

You're very sweet, Walter.
Thank you.

This place...

All we ever
seem to talk about
is sex and feelings.

It's always with strangers.

We never get to talk
about our own feelings.

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Lieutenant Columbo, ma'am.
Is it all right to intrude?

Of course, Lieutenant.
You met Doctor Neff?

Oh, I think I've met
everyone in the clinic.
All the sex doctors.

Psychologists, Lieutenant.
Sex therapists.

Joan, believe me,
one day all this pain
will just be a memory.

Could I get you some tea,
Lieutenant?

Oh, no, thank you, ma'am.

No? All right.

Well, what can
I do for you?

I'll just ask you a few more
questions, ma'am,
if you can put up with that.

I think I can manage that.
From this moment,
Lieutenant, life goes on.

Back straight, chin up
and a smile for the world.

How's that for courage?

Well, that's a very nice smile
you have there, ma'am.

How can I help you?

Mainly, Dr. Allenby,
it's about the victim.

Could you tell me about your
relationship with the victim?

We had great sex.

Okay.

The victim, as you so
delicately put it,
was my lover.

Is there a problem
with that?

Not necessarily, ma'am, no.

David and I enjoyed making
physical love to each other,
and only to each other.

At least, that was my
assumption in the days

when I was considerably
less skeptical
than I am now.

David was also my business
partner in our radio
and television work.

Are you familiar
with my broadcasts?

Yes, I am.

The things that you say
on the radio, ma'am,
they're very frank.

About what?

About sex, ma'am.

Sit down.

David's love
made it possible for me
to be frank in public.

The kinds of things
I have to talk about

require a great deal of sexual
confidence and happiness
and freedom.

David gave me
all those things.

I suppose
they're the same things
I try to give my patients.

The freedom to love.

Does that answer your question
about our relationship?

Oh, yes, ma'am.
You've made it very clear.

I think I understand.

I hope so. Lieutenant,
there's still one more thing.

Can you tell me about your own
primary sexual relationships?

I beg your pardon, ma'am?

A policeman just asked me
a very intimate question,

and I gave a very
intimate answer.

I think I have a right
to know how that answer
will be interpreted,

and that depends on your
intimate sexual relationships.

I'm a married man, ma'am.

Everything all right at home?

I think I'm gonna
be leaving now.
Thank you very much.

(JOAN LAUGHlNG)

Don't let me drive you away,
Lieutenant.

Oh. Oh, no, ma'am.
No, l...

Not with all the work that
I have to do on this case.
I'm gonna be back.

You can count on that.

MAN: Now we're gonna learn
more about the tuba.

BOY: Is that a tuba?

It's a very
delicate instrument,

has a very tiny,
tiny, tiny tone.

Sort of like the love song
of a canary.

Listen very closely,
or you just won't
hear it at all.

(TUBA PLAYlNG)

I'm looking for, uh,
Miss Hendrix.

MAN: I forgot to tell you,
it's a two-ton canary.
There.

(CHlLDREN LAUGHlNG)

Have you ever heard
a jazz tuba?

CHlLDREN: No.

GlRL: What's a jazz tuba?

Here's what a jazz tuba
sounds like.

(TUBA PLAYlNG)

Excuse me, ma'am.
Lieutenant Columbo, police.

Not now.

Okay, who wants to learn
how to play the tuba here?

Come on, it's a cinch.
CHlLDREN: No.

You, sir.
You in the raincoat.

Me?
Yeah!

(CHlLDREN CHEERlNG)

Oh, no, no.

MAN: We can't do without you!
Please, please, come on, sir!

I think you're caught.

Give him a hand, kids,
come on.

(CHlLDREN CLAPPlNG)

Are you a musician, sir?
No, sir. I'm a policeman.

There you are, Mr. Policeman.
There's your tuba.
Enjoy yourself.

BOY: Go, Mr. Policeman. Play.

Like this, sir?

Have fun.

(PLAYlNG TUBA)

(PLAYlNG MELODY)

(CHUCKLlNG)
Hey!

(COLUMBO PLAYlNG JAUNTY TUNE)

(ALL APPLAUDlNG)

MAN: Yes! Bravo!

Ah, you've done this before.

Well, you know,
when I was in high school,

that was the only instrument
they had left.

Same with me.

Come on, kids,
we're gonna have
a tuba march.

Everybody stand up
and follow me
and the policeman.

We're gonna
march off this way.

You ready?
I'm gonna try.

(LAUGHlNG)
All right!

(BOTH PLAYlNG MARCH)

(YELPS)

Dr. Allenby.

Well, this certainly
is a coincidence.

Here I come
to the Music Center,
I'm looking for Mr. Kincaid,

and who do I find but you?

You were looking for David?

For his whereabouts, ma'am,
last night, before the murder.

That's a lovely outfit
you're wearing.

Thank you.

This is a hard question,
ma'am,

and you certainly
don't have to answer it.

But would you mind
telling me what you paid
for this handbag?

For my bag?

It doesn't have to be exact,
ma'am. Just a ballpark figure.

Well, this was
an expensive bag,
Lieutenant.

I paid about $400 for it.

Right. See, my wife's
birthday is coming up,
and I'm in the market.

You were telling me
about David.

David? Oh, yes, Mr. Kincaid.

Uh...

You wouldn't happen to know
where I could get something
that looked like that

for about half the money?

No, Lieutenant,
I'm sorry, I don't.

And that briefcase, ma'am,
did you get that in the same
shop as you got the handbag?

Yes, I believe I did.

Could I take
a look at that?

If you like.

Oh, that's the real McCoy,
ma'am.

That's very fine stitching,
'cause you can hardly
see the stitches.

I'd like one of those
fellas for myself.

Lieutenant, please.
You were telling me
about David.

I visited his office, ma'am,

and right there
on his desk calendar
it said

that he had a date
to be here last night.

But I spoke to that
committee woman,
Miss Hendrix,

and she told me
she never saw him.

Yes, well, we had
a fundraising event
last night.

I'm on the committee,
so I had to be here,

but it wasn't
David's cup of fun.

He said he'd rather
hang by his thumbs.

Well, that certainly explains
why he wasn't here, ma'am.

But that raises
another question.

Joan! Oh, honey,

Lieutenant Columbo just
told me about David.

What a terrible
thing to happen.

Thank you, Helen.

Oh, Lieutenant,
we all think you played
the tuba just beautifully.

I enjoyed it, ma'am.

I got your message about
the master guest list.
I brought it for you.

Lieutenant,
would you mind
holding this for me?

Not at all, ma'am.

I put this in my briefcase
right after you called, Helen.

Of all days, Joan,
you shouldn't have bothered.

Well, it's better
than feeling sorry
for myself.

I'll call you.

Last night, ma'am,
you were here
at the party?

All evening.

And Mr. Kincaid,
he never showed up?

No, Lieutenant,
he decided not to come.

Well, as I was saying,
that raises the question

of where Mr. Kincaid
met that woman,

the lady all dressed in black
with the black hat.

HELEN: Oh, she was
certainly here.

Excuse me, ma'am?

A very attractive woman
dressed in black
with a man's black fedora?

Joan, you must
have noticed her.

No, I don't
believe I did.

Well, whoever she is,
she was here last night.

Does that help you,
Lieutenant?

Well, it gives me
something to think about.

It's certainly
very interesting.

Good.

All right,
position number one,
and begin.

(RHYTHMlC SHAKlNG SOUND)

Very nice.
Smile, this is fun.

Beautiful smile.
You'll do well.

More wrist, more wrist.
Good, perfect!

Okay, now we're
gonna get started.

Now, you people,
you're paying good cash
to learn the bartending game.

What you get out of it,
that's up to you.

Now, I'm a good bartender.

Show up on time,
do your lessons,
work your workbooks,

you'll be good
bartenders, too.
It's up to you.

Now, one more time,
and begin.

Is this the bartending school?

You're late.

Oh, it's been
a very busy day, sir.

Get behind the bar.

Right. Uh...
I'm not really
a bartender.

Keep coming late,
you'll never be a bartender.
I said a green vest.

Where's your green vest?
What is your name?

Columbo. Homicide. Police.

Oh, you're the one who called.
Yes, sir.

Right over here.

All right,
the rest of you start
on your workbooks.

Lesson one,
Shirley Temples.
Get it right.

Sorry about that, Lieutenant.
How can I help you?

It's this photograph, sir.

One of my
homicide victims.

He had some of your matches
from that Buckets bar.

They were in his pocket.

Would you recognize
this man at all, sir?

Sure. He was in last night.
First-timer.

But the matches don't match.

Excuse me?

I didn't give him the matches.
The lady asked for matches.
She smoked.

The one he picked up.

This lady, would I be far
wrong if I said she was
a very attractive lady,

all dressed in black,
wearing a man's black hat?

About like that.

I wasn't paying
much attention,
so I can't tell you much.

Me, I'm just a bartender.

I don't have
what you might call
a trained policeman's eye.

Well, you just tell me
what little you know.

Well, the lady's
another first-timer.

Professional working girl.
Called herself Lisa
with no last name.

If you believe
Lisa's her real name,
you'll believe anything.

Anyway, Lisa with no last name
knew the playbook.

Comes on bold
and advertises herself.

Your guy walks in,
she gives him the buzz.

Guy hits. No wasted time.

In two seconds,
they are very cozy,

no strains, two bugs in a rug.
You know what I'm saying?

He lays some cash on her,
and out they go about 9:00,
maybe 9:15, as happy as clams.

That is for you, pal.

That's some observation
for a man who wasn't
paying attention.

Taste that.
Tell me what you think.

Well, that's very
generous, sir.

That's very refreshing.

That's my Shirley Temple.

An interesting
Shirley Temple.

A touch of dryness,
but a light, sweet bouquet.
Very nice.

You're a very good
bartender, sir.

But I think you would make
a terrific detective.

I love the work I got,
Lieutenant.

So do l, sir.

(DOORBELL RlNGlNG)

Forgive me, Doctor,
for dropping in
on you like this,

but I have some
very interesting news,
very stimulating. May l?

Please, Lieutenant,
come in.

I'm anxious
to hear anything
you can tell me.

You certainly
have a lovely
home here.

Thank you.

Oh, I've seen some
beautiful homes,

what with the different
murders and all,

but not many like this.

And look at that.
A fire in the fireplace.

Well, it's a very chilly
night, ma'am, and there's
nothing like a fire.

What's a courtesan,
Doctor?

Excuse me?

Isn't that
the title of your book?
The Courtesan Complex?

Yes.
My wife read it,
you know.

Uh-huh?
Oh, yes.

She enjoyed it so much,
she insisted I read it.

Did she beat you to its pages
with a stick, Lieutenant?

Well, I'm gonna tell you
the truth, ma'am.

She was most anxious
for me to read
the sexual fantasy part.

I haven't yet.

A courtesan, ma'am,
uh, that's a prostitute?

Yes, it's a polite term
for a successful prostitute.

Well, that's another
coincidence, Dr. Allenby,

because what I came
to tell you about

is that we know
a whole lot more about
the lady in black now.

Perhaps we should sit down,
Lieutenant.

Oh, no, ma'am,
I'm enjoying the fire.

The lady in black,
we have a first name
for her now.

She calls herself Lisa.

I'm gonna see about
that briefcase there.

Oh, you've kept this too close
to the fire, ma'am.

This could have
been scorched.

Thank you,
Lieutenant.

Oh, you're welcome, ma'am.

Uh...

Now, this Lisa,
she and Mr. Kincaid

got together last night
at that bar,
that Buckets place.

Now, this is
a very bold thing
to say, ma'am,

but Lisa is one
of those courtesans.

What the vice boys
call a working girl.

You mean David hired
a prostitute?

That's the way
it looks now.

And from your news
about Lisa,

I'd guessed
it was something
like that.

David picking up
some working girl,
a stranger in a bar.

Oh, I don't necessarily
think they were strangers.

The picture I got,

from the way she turned down
another man before Mr. Kincaid
came to the bar,

and then the way
they just sat and talked,
very quiet and all.

I had to ask myself
if this Lisa,

if she was there
waiting for Mr. Kincaid.

And if they already
knew each other,

then maybe she already
had a reason to kill him.

Do you think that's possible?

That's what I wanted
to ask you.

Do you think that's possible,

from all your research
with these courtesans?

I tell you, Lieutenant,

after today, I don't know
what's possible
and what isn't.

(CHUCKLlNG)
I'll tell you, ma'am,

that's about
the way I feel.

This case,
it's already got me crazy.

Every time
I learn something new,

I get a puzzle.

New problems.

When Mr. Kincaid told you

that he wasn't going
to the party at
the Music Center,

what time was that,
ma'am?

I think...

Yes, it was yesterday
when he picked me up
at the airport.

So he had plenty of time
to make another arrangement
for that evening,

Iike with this Lisa
at that Buckets place.

That's reasonable,
knowing what we know now.

So what was the lady
in black doing
at the Music Center?

It could have been
for the music.

Even courtesans
can love music,
Lieutenant.

For the music.
That's what I told myself.

But when the concert started,
Lisa was already at Buckets,

so it couldn't have
been for the music.

So what was she
doing there?

I'd like to try to
help you, Lieutenant.

I'm very tired.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I've kept you too long.

Thank you for the nice fire,
and I'll just see myself out.

With my briefcase?

Oh.

(BOTH LAUGHlNG)

Oh, look at that, ma'am.

Well, it certainly
is a beauty.

Good night, ma'am.

Good night, Lieutenant.

Thank you for
keeping me informed.

Dr. Allenby.

Did I tell you
that we found
Mr. Kincaid's keys?

No, you didn't.

Sergeant Burke,
he found Mr. Kincaid's car
near Buckets.

It was parked in some
valet parking place.

I see.

So the lady in black,

she couldn't
have taken the keys
from the murder scene.

The keys were never there.

The keys were at
the valet parker.

So that still leaves
that other problem, ma'am.

How did Mr. Kincaid
unlock the door
to your clinic?

You see how everything
keeps dropping out on me?

This case, boy.

I don't know
what to tell you.

Try and sleep well.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Just one more thing, ma'am.

Just for my reports,
just a detail.

I hope you'll understand.

Yes, I understand.
A detail for your report.

Yes, ma'am. The night
you flew to Chicago,

the security guard's
log book,

it said you went back
to the office that night.

My flight was fogged in,
Lieutenant.

I didn't actually get out
until the morning.

Oh, you want to know
why I returned
to the clinic.

Well, it's not me, ma'am,
so much as my captain.

He's a regular stickler.

Well, as long
as I had the time,

I wanted to pick up
a scientific paper.

It was something
that a colleague
asked me to look at.

So when you went back,
that was just for a minute?

Just for the paper.

Well, the detail
I wanted to ask you.

The middle of the night,
deserted streets...

The security guard,
he said that you came
in one cab

and you left in another.

Why didn't you just
ask the cab to wait?

I did, Lieutenant,
but the cab didn't wait,

so I took another cab.

Well, that's it, then.
That explains it.

Good night, ma'am.

The cab left
without being paid?

I paid him, Lieutenant.
That's how I got him to wait.

But when I came out,

he was gone.
He was gone.

Well, they're impatient,
ma'am.

Good night again.

You better watch
yourself, lady.

You can handle
the lieutenant.

He's fired his best shots.

You should have burned
Lisa's clothes.

We will.

Not yet.

Not yet.

COLUMBO: Sergeant Burke!
I need you, Sergeant.

Yes, Lieutenant?

Oh, there you are.
You got the list?

Yes, I have it here,
Lieutenant.

The master guest list?
Right here, sir.

I'll tell you what
I want, Sergeant.
Excuse me?

What I want you to do,
Sergeant.

Yes, Lieutenant.

Get all the help you can.

Talk to that lady,
Miss Hendrix.

I want to know anyone
that ever had any contact
with the lady in black.

Anyone that knew her,
anyone that talked with her,

anyone that ever had
anything to do with
the woman in black.

The master list, right?

Right.
Right.

How you doing, fellas?

JOAN: All right,
let's leave it at this.

Bill and Joanne
have been trying too hard,

and Lloyd and Cynthia gave up
trying sex altogether,

which is against the rules,
possibly against the law.

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

So, let's all be
very sensible

and try to decide
what exactly...

Dr. Allenby,
can I see you?

Excuse me.
I'm afraid I'm busy,
Lieutenant.

Right.

(DOOR CLOSES)

So we want to decide...

(KNOCKlNG AT DOOR)

Would it be all right
if I joined you, ma'am?

Absolutely not.

I understand.

(SlGHS)

Enjoying the mirror,
Lieutenant?

(CHUCKLlNG)
It's a fantastic bed.

Fantastic.

Half the fun of sex
is fantasy.

Oh, I know that, ma'am.
I've been reading your book.

Well, now,
I'm proud of you,
Lieutenant.

You wanted to see me?

What it is, ma'am,
it's the lady in black.

And it's very baffling,
the way she keeps changing.

The gun dealer said...

Oh, did I tell you
that we found the gun?

No, no.
That must be important.

Found the gun, ma'am,
in a mailbox down the block.

No fingerprints,
but purchased on
the day of the murder.

Now, that's important.

But I want you
to read something
important. Um...

(MUTTERlNG)

Oh, goodness.
That's a parking ticket.

Oh, that's not it.

(MUTTERlNG)

Keep forgetting that.

Here... Here we are, ma'am.

Uh...

"Gun dealer said she gave
name, Lisa Prescott.

"Boys at vice never
heard of Lisa Prescott.

"Address, turned out
no such..."

Here. "Nervous."

The gun dealer said
she was very nervous.

Nervous?
Nervous, ma'am.

Yes, well, I suppose
that's a kind of
a description.

Oh, we got descriptions,
ma'am.

We've got plenty
of descriptions.

The night security guard,
he said that she was shy,

and the bartender
at Buckets,

he said that she was
bold and confident.

So what we're looking for,
ma'am,

is a shy, bold, nervous,
confident lady in black.

I see your problem,
Lieutenant,

and I don't envy you.

Oh, and it gets worse, ma'am.

Do you remember the cigarette,
the one with the lipstick?

Yes.
There in the ashtray.

Yes, ma'am.

The lab boys,
they ran a new test

on the saliva
from the cigarette.

Just from the saliva,
they can tell you
all about a person.

And from their report,
whoever smoked
that cigarette,

she had a completely
different blood type

than the blood
from these spots here.

But the blood spots,

that's a whole
different type blood
than the victim's blood.

That means three people
in the room.

Do you think
there could have been

two women with Mr. Kincaid
on the night of the murder?

Two women, Lieutenant?
I...

I don't know what to say.

And then we have
to consider this.

Those two long black hairs
that we found on the victim,
very feminine, ma'am.

The lab boys think
maybe an Asian woman.

And it turns out
that the blood type
from these two hairs,

that's a whole new
different type blood.

Would that mean
there were three women
with Mr. Kincaid?

You mean a sex orgy,
Lieutenant?

I suppose
with a man like David,

everything I'm learning
about him,

yes, I suppose
that's completely possible.

Right.

But that brings us back again
to that security guard.

He said only one woman
came up here.

Do you think
they could have come

from other offices
in the same building?

No, ma'am,
the security guard,

he checked out everybody
from the building.

I don't know what
to think, Lieutenant.

You've got my head spinning.

Well, but when you get
right down to it, ma'am,

only one woman came in,
and only one woman went out.

And whatever
all this means,

we have to look
for the lady in black.

And when we find her,
I promise you,

you're gonna be
the first to know.

Good day.

Oh, Lieutenant?

Dr. Ward.

Do you have
a minute for me?

Of course, sir.

We can talk in here.

I have something
to confess.

Sex is my whole life,
Lieutenant.

Oh, my goodness.

My life.

My therapy.

My work.

My frigid women,
my prostitutes,
my premature men.

It's a very
full life, sir.

Odd sexual events.

What do you think of this?

A red ribbon, sir?

A red hair ribbon,
Lieutenant.

Like Cindy Galt wears,
Dr. Allenby's assistant.

Is that an odd event, sir?

It's a sexual event.

I found this
the other morning

in our bedroom
therapy facility.

No patients had
been scheduled,

but the bed
had been used.

See, that's
the kind of behavior
we've had around here.

And I put that down
to David Kincaid's
influence.

You do, sir?

I didn't like David Kincaid,

and I loathed his influence
on Dr. Allenby.

His cheap crusade to turn sex

into something
trivial and popular.

Yeah, right.
Popular sex,
that's something...

We certainly gotta
watch out for that.

You were saying something
about a confession?

Right. I confess
that I despised David,

but I want you to know
that I didn't have anything
to do with his murder.

I'm glad you
told me, sir,

so I don't
get you all confused
with the lady in black.

This has been
very interesting.

Oh, Lieutenant,
one more thing.

Do you think this is
the right time for me

to advise Dr. Allenby
that she's well rid of David?

You're asking me, sir?

Well, you seem very wise.

Well, Dr. Ward,

if I were you,
I'd try to do
the right thing.

Yes. Of course.

That's very good,
Lieutenant.
Thank you.

I'll see you later.

(SlGHS)

Oh, Lieutenant Columbo?
Dr. Neff.

Do you have a minute?

Anytime, sir.

Lieutenant, I know
you've heard all the rumors
running around this place.

I mean, about Dr. Ward
getting nowhere

with his crush
on Cindy Galt.

And Cindy ducking out
for cocktails with
David Kincaid.

And you must have heard
about how I feel
about Dr. Allenby.

No, I don't seem
to have that here.

I've been crazy about her
ever since I joined
the clinic.

And I was deeply jealous
of David,

but I had nothing whatsoever
to do with his murder.

I want you to know that.

Right.

No connection
with the murder.

Lieutenant,

with all your experience
out there in the world

and in view
of what's happened,

how long would you
advise me to wait

before telling Joan
I'm in love with her?

If I were you, sir,

I would wait until
the lady's ready
and not a moment longer.

Of course.

I should have been able
to figure that out
for myself.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Oh, Lieutenant, do you
have a moment for me?

Even though I am
going back for my master's
in psychiatric social work,

I love working
for Dr. Allenby.

And David Kincaid, he was,

Iike, coming on to me.

I mean, in a very nice way.

I mean, he was always
a perfect gentleman,

and, of course,
I would never, never
do anything to hurt Joan.

So, there's my problem.

You'll have to clarify that
for me, ma'am.

Well, after what happened,

if I'm going to
be loyal to Joan,

should I ever tell her
about David's crush on me?

In my opinion,
and not speaking
strictly as a detective,

sometimes kindness
is wiser than truth.

Of course.

I think I know
exactly what you mean.

I knew I could
talk to you.

Thank you,
Lieutenant.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Got a minute,
Lieutenant?

We did it.

Now, just one second, sir,
hold the phone.

Let me get this straight.

The lady in black,
she went in there.

She went in that door
right there.

She went in,
and she never
came out.

And you waited.

Until I asked the attendant
to go see if she was in there.

And she wasn't there.
Nobody was there.

Who came out?

How do I know, Lieutenant?
Ladies went in,
ladies came out.

Just ordinary ladies?

Ordinary ladies.

Ordinary ladies.

Did any of these ladies
have a suitcase,
a package?

Were they carrying a bag,
something like that?
I don't know, Lieutenant.

I wasn't looking
for bags or packages.

I was waiting
for this very
exotic brunette.

Miss Hendrix,
please, ma'am.
Yes, Lieutenant.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Lenz.

Just check with
Sergeant Burke.

Keep him informed
as to your whereabouts.

Ma'am, I'm gonna
have to go in there.

Would you guard the door,
ma'am?

The ladies' room?

But it's almost
intermission,
Lieutenant.

Just one minute, ma'am.
One minute.

Oh, but...
Well, l... Oh...

Oh, dear.

(MUSlC ENDlNG)

(PEOPLE APPLAUDlNG)

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)

Lieutenant!

What was he doing in there?
I'm sorry, ma'am.
I'm sorry.

You ought to be ashamed.
I'm very sorry.

(ALL CHATTERlNG)
Excuse me. Excuse me.

You have a lot of nerve!
No. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
Excuse me.

I'm sorry, forgive me.

Sir?

(WOMAN SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN)

Excuse me, ma'am, trash?
Where do you dump the trash?

(SPEAKlNG ANGRlLY
lN RUSSlAN)

No, no, no, police,
ma'am, police, police.

See? Hey, police.

(EXCLAlMlNG)

See, police!

Trash... Trash... Where?

See, where do you
dump the trash?

No, no, no, no, no!
No, the trash!

Where do you
put the trash?

(SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN)

No, no, no, no!
Trash! Where's the trash?

No, no, no, no, no, ma'am.
No cleaning. No, no, no.

No cleaning. See, empty.
No, the trash.

The big trash.

No, no. The trash, ma'am.
See? Trash. Trash!

(STAMMERlNG)

(SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN)

See, nyet, nyet, nyet.

Drop off, pick up, and...
Grande...

(SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN)

No, no, no, no, ma'am, no.

Grande, grande,
trash grande.

(SCOLDlNG lN RUSSlAN)

(ASKlNG QUESTlON lN RUSSlAN)

That's it! I found it!

(EXCLAlMlNG HAPPlLY
lN RUSSlAN)

You're a very nice lady.

(EXCLAlMlNG)

(GlGGLlNG)

Do svidaniya, police boy.

(GASPS)

Hello.

Who are you?

COLUMBO:
Well, here you are,
Dr. Allenby.

I took the liberty
of inviting Mr. Lenz
to your home.

Your housekeeper
was kind enough
to let us in.

Mr. Lenz, this is
the remarkable lady
I was telling you about.

Yes, thank you very much
for having us, Dr. Allenby.

Mr. Lenz,
he would like to sit down
and talk with you, ma'am,

if you don't mind.

My pleasure.

Come along,
gentlemen.

Can you give me a hint
about all this,
Lieutenant?

Well, I'm back
in trouble, ma'am.

This Lisa,
this lady in black.

I got 56 vice boys
out in the street.

They're looking,
they're pumping.

I got another eight doing
nothing but sifting files.

We're chasing courtesans
up and down the scale.

Please make yourselves
comfortable.

You know what I got
out of all this?

I got depressed.

It's not just nobody
knows anything,

nobody even suspects
anything.

Now I run into
Mr. Lenz here.

He tells me his story.
I don't what to make of it.

I got all turned around.

I want you to listen
to this man's story.

Mr. Lenz?

Well, I went to
the Music Center
the other night...

Could I bring you
something to drink?

Sure. Could you manage
some sparkling
mineral water?

I think so.
Same for you,
Lieutenant?

Oh, no, thank you, ma'am.
I'll just have some seltzer.

I think I can
manage that, too.

Mr. Lenz, please,
tell me your story.

Well, I can only tell you
what I told Lieutenant
Columbo.

Oh, that'll be fine, sir.

LENZ: Well, I met her,
you know, this lady in black
with the man's hat.

It was at
the Music Center affair.

I understand you were there.

I was. Ice?

Please.

Well, I saw her,

and I have this obligation.

Whenever I see
an attractive lady,

I feel like it's my duty
to meet her.

So I tried.
No encouragement.

So I followed her.

Where?

To the ladies' room.

To the ladies' room?

Turned out to be
the waiting room.

I mean, she went inside,
and I waited outside.

You're a romantic,
Mr. Lenz.

(SlGH)

Yes, I am. Excellent
diagnosis, Doctor.

Anyway, I waited,

and she never came out.

Tell her about
the attendant.

At the end of the evening,
I asked the attendant

to go inside
and check it
out for me,

and there was
nobody there.

Nobody.

LENZ: The lady vanishes.

Into thin air?

No air at all.
She's just gone.

Now, what do you think
about a thing like that,
ma'am?

Were you drinking,
Mr. Lenz?

Not a drop.
Just champagne.

And the lady
never came out.

You see what we got here
now, ma'am?

We were talking one lady,
two ladies, three ladies.

Now I got a half a lady,
the half that went in.

The other half,
I don't know.

Thanks again,
Dr. Allenby.

I'll wait for you,
Lieutenant.

Goodbye, Mr. Lenz.
Your story was
very amusing.

But I just can't take it
seriously, Lieutenant.

Well, that's what
we got, ma'am.

A good detective,
even a medium detective,

he can find somebody
who was there
and bring you an answer.

But somebody
who wasn't there?

How can I deal with that?

I can't imagine,
Lieutenant.

This Lisa,
people tell stories,

but there's no trace
she ever existed.

Maybe we got this wrong,
the way we're looking at it.

Looking at it all wrong.

Well, I'm working, ma'am.
I'm still out there.

I appreciate everything
you're doing, Lieutenant.

You'll see me again,
ma'am.

I'm sure I will.

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)

(SCREAMS)

WOMAN:
Drinks are on Lisa!

Lisa buys the drinks!

Take care of
my new friends.

And this is for you.

For what?

Just a phone call.

To a man
named Columbo.

This is the number,
this is the message.

"Sorry about what happened,"
signed, "Lisa."

And that's it?

Do you think
you can do that for me?

(CHUCKLES)

All right,
here you go.

Thanks.

(PEOPLE CHEERlNG)

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

Dr. Allenby.

Good evening, Dr. Allenby.
It's Sergeant Burke.

Lieutenant Columbo
asked me to tell you
he has very good news.

He's found the lady in black.

Dr. Allenby?

(STAMMERlNG)

Where did you find her?

He said it was
right in your own
office files, ma'am.

Your research files.

The Lieutenant said
he wants you to know that.

Good night, Dr. Allenby.

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

(MAN MURMURlNG)

COLUMBO: Over here, ma'am.

(GASPS)

I'm sorry, Doctor.

I didn't mean
to frighten you
like that.

I thought
I heard voices.
I...

Oh, that'd be me, ma'am.

I was talking on the phone
with Sergeant Burke.

He was supposed
to ask you to join me here,

and he forgot
to say that.

But I'm glad
you came anyway.

Why did you come here,
ma'am?

Certainly not to be
frightened out of my wits,
Lieutenant.

Sergeant Burke called
and told me that
you'd found Lisa

in one of my files.

I came to see for myself.

(CHUCKLlNG) Well.

There he goes again, ma'am.

Sergeant Burke,
he's a very fine
young detective,

but we all make mistakes
from time to time.

What I asked him
to tell you,

it was as if she had
been in your own files
all the time.

No, no, I certainly couldn't
find her here, Doctor.

Not even in
"odd sexual events."

How did you find her?

Oh, for that, ma'am,
we have to go to
the therapy room.

To the therapy room, ma'am.

This Lisa,
this lady in black,

I've been getting some
very strange messages
from her, ma'am.

Messages?

She's sorry
she did what she did.

She had to do
what she did,

and now she's
leaving town.

But she hasn't
left town yet.

And I think she's
been trying to fool us
about a lot of things.

For instance,
this ashtray.

Would you look
at this ashtray?

To a detective, this is
a fascinating ashtray.

I mean, what's in it.

That's exactly what we found
the morning after the murder.

I put everything back
just the way it was.

She was a smoker, ma'am.
The bartender said
she was a smoker.

And you see that?
You see that burned match?

Yes, I can see the match,
Lieutenant.

And the cigarette stub,
and only a few ashes?

Do you see
how puzzling that is?

No. I see a burned match
and half a cigarette.

And a few ashes.
And a few ashes.

But not enough
to account for
a whole cigarette, ma'am.

A whole cigarette, ma'am,

that produces
this amount of ash.

You know what that weighs?
I weighed that, ma'am.

That's 500 milligrams.

And the ashes in the tray,
that's 48 milligrams.

All right, make it 50.

We're still missing
450 milligrams, ma'am.

That's very scientific,
Lieutenant.

But she might have
smoked the cigarette
someplace else.

But here's the match,
ma'am.

Like she lit and smoked it
right here in this room.

And there's no ashes
on the table,

and there's no ashes
under the table,

and there's not enough
ashes in the ashtray.

You'll forgive me,
Lieutenant,

if I'm not quite as
fascinated by this
as you are.

Well, ma'am, even ashes,
they don't just fly away
and vanish.

The hair and fiber boys,
I had them vacuum
this whole room.

No cigarette ashes.

And what do you detect,
Lieutenant,

from the infamous
missing ashes?

Oh, yes, you said that
Lisa was trying to fool us.

Like she was setting
a scene, ma'am, yes.

Like this whole room,

Iike it was
some kind of a stage,

making us think she was
something she isn't.

Is that a possibility?

Lieutenant,
you still haven't told me
how you found her.

Well, I've only received
messages from her, ma'am.
I haven't seen her yet.

With your permission,
Doctor.

And now we
have to consider
the victim's keys.

His missing keys.

No matter
how you look at it,

it always comes out the same.

If Mr. Kincaid didn't have
the key to open the door,

then the lady in black,
she must have been
the one with the key.

So now we have to
face that as a fact.

And I know you're thinking
the same thing I am.

Lisa, she had to
be someone connected
with your own clinic.

That's totally ludicrous,
Lieutenant.

Unless Lisa could have
been the cleaning lady.

Do you think
that's a possibility?

I doubt it, ma'am.

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

Is that your phone?
That could be important.

I'll see.

Ma'am, the lady in black,

she might be
coming here tonight.

Did I tell you
she might be coming here?

No.

The phone.
That may be her.

Hello?
Dr. Allenby?

Yes.
This is Sergeant Burke.

I wonder if I could
talk to the lieutenant.

It's Sergeant Burke.
Thank you.

Yes, Sergeant?

Right.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Well, ma'am, they think
she's somewhere
in the building.

Doctor,

are you familiar with a
Chicago department store
named Neufeld's?

Yes. Why do you ask?

Because I happen to know
that's where you bought

that camel's hair coat
you're wearing.

Well, if you knew that,
why did you ask if I was
familiar with the store?

To see if you'd
tell me the truth, ma'am.

Are you aware, Lieutenant,
how insulting that is?

I am, ma'am, and I regret
having to say it.

But now we both
have to consider this.

Would you take
a look at that,
ma'am?

I would say that's the tag
off your new coat,

the one you bought
in Chicago.

And that first day, ma'am,
riding up in the elevator,

I thought you looked
very nice.

And that tag,
that was dangling
from the hem of your coat.

I wasn't aware of the tag.

No, ma'am, and I thought
that was very endearing.

The department store people,

they told me
you charged that coat
to your credit card.

I did, as a matter of fact.
Is that significant?

Well, it brings us
to another question, ma'am.

Would you grant me
that sometimes

a person would prefer
to pay cash,

rather than charge something
and have a written record
of this purchase?

Would you grant me that,
ma'am?

I suppose that, uh,

there could be reasons.

That's a fax copy of
the check you gave, ma'am,

in your Chicago hotel.

$1,500, payable to cash.

You seem to have been
very attentive
to my affairs.

What did you do
with the money, ma'am?

I think I've had about
enough of your questions,
Lieutenant.

How I spend my money
is none of your business.

I'll leave you to find
the woman in black.

You seem to have lost her.

(GASPS)

(ELEVATOR BELL DlNGS)

Was that the elevator,
ma'am?

Not yet.

If you don't mind, ma'am,
one more thing
before you go.

The therapy room.

I think she may already
be here, ma'am.

In there.

Do you think she's
already been here?

Well, maybe you
saw her yourself,

or somebody
very much like her
out in the foyer?

One of our policewomen,
ma'am.

Only you didn't say
a word about that to me,

because you knew Lisa,
she couldn't be out there,

because she's been here
with me all along.

Would you agree with me
about that, Dr. Allenby?

You seem to have gone
to a great deal of trouble,
Lieutenant.

I think I can say
the same thing
about you, ma'am.

That's her hat,
bought with cash,

and her wig.

The wig saleslady
from the Chicago store,

she said
you already had the hat
when you tried on the wig.

Did I mention that
she recognized your photo

from the picture we sent her
from your book?

No.

No, that must have
slipped your mind.

The saleslady
in women's suits,

she only sold
two black suits that day,

and only one

in the size of the lady
who bought the wig.

They sent us all these
things, Doctor.

Like the things you hid
in the Music Center

to play your courtesan game
with Mr. Kincaid.

Was that because
of Cindy Galt, ma'am?

You're very intuitive,
Lieutenant.

You would have made
a splendid therapist.

There's a lovely
fire here, ma'am.

Why don't we
share the fire?

I think the night
you came back from
the airport,

you found Mr. Kincaid
right here in this room,

making love
to Cindy Galt.

Is that why
you killed him?

That night,

the two of them
in bed together,

I heard him laughing at me.

I was his joke.

That must have been
very hard, ma'am.

There isn't a woman
in the world, Lieutenant,

who wouldn't have fantasized,
in my circumstances,

about doing what I did.

Make him pay

for the anguish
and the humiliation

and all the loneliness
to come.

But I went beyond the fantasy,
and I wasn't even frightened.

Do you want to hear,
Lieutenant,

what did frighten me?

If you'd like
to tell me, ma'am.

Becoming somebody else.

Becoming Lisa.

After all my research,
all my books,

I hadn't truly understood
what it was to sink
into a fantasy.

Being someone stronger,

more desirable,
more willful and exciting.

Someone that David would
never have dared betray.

For those few days,

I liked Lisa better
than I liked myself.

That frightened me

far more than
your waiting to arrest me.

Now that I've
confessed all this,
I want to know.

Do you think less of me?

I'm only a policeman.

Judging people, that's all
up to somebody else.

But I can tell you,
I've enjoyed our talks
very much,

and I think I do understand.

Ma'am.

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