All language subtitles for 1 - An Exercise In Fatality-eng

Mr. Janus' office.

Hi, Jess. Buddy.

Did I catch him in?

You did,
but he's on the other line.

When he gets off, have him
call me at the Chatsworth place.

And, Jess,
it's kind of important.

Critical important
or urgent important?

It's both.

Right.

Arnold...

don't tell me
about mark-ups.

These people paid a lot of money
for a Milo Janus franchise...

and they're going to pay
a lot more to operate them.

What are you telling me?

I'm telling you...

to raise the price to $288
a gross. Two gross minimum.

Two gross?
Where do you want the money?

That's right, Arnold.

I want the money deposited
in my New York account.

And, Arnold, my accountant is
checking the books, so don't be late.

All right.

All right, Arnold.
I'll talk to you on Friday.

Yes?

Mr. Castle called,
Mr. Janus.

He's at the Chatsworth spa. He'd
like you to call him right away.

Call him back for me,
will you?

And Jessica,
don't record this one.

Yes, sir.

Hi, Mr. Janus.

Hey, Charlie.
How's it going?

Not bad.
Say, you're looking good.

He still in the office?

He's got files
all over the place.

You want me in there
with him?

No, I think it's better
if I talk to him alone.

Milo, talking
is not gonna help.

We'll see.

Hello, Gene.

Milo Janus.

Milo...

you're a thief.

Now, what kind of a greeting
is that?

Did your boy Castle
tell you to come up here?

I thought he would.

I should have
torn his head off.

Calm down, Gene.

Stress is bad
for your blood pressure.

There's nothing wrong
with my blood pressure.

It's my bank account
that's worrying me.

You've got
a nice racket going, Milo.

So smooth.

Gene, why don't you please
tell me what's bothering you?

This is what's bothering me.

An invoice from the Green
Eagle Gym Equipment Corporation.

$2,650.

And I can buy the same stuff from
a discount house half-price, retail.

But not the same quality.

Get off my back, Milo.

You own that company.

And...

Sentry Office Supplies.

And Lewis Furniture Company.

Gene, I told you when you
bought this franchise...

that you were going to have
to deal with certain suppliers.

Now, I told you that,
Gene.

All owned by you.

My mark-up is very small...

but I have to
maintain quality.

That's what gives me control.

You've got control,
all right.

In the meantime...

I'm being bilked.

Me and all the other suckers
who plunked down $150,000...

for one of these...

second-rate operations.

Where does the money go, Milo?
What happens to the money?

Advertising. Promotion.

Every cent that I make
is reinvested in the company.

When I grow, Gene, you grow.

Bull.

Now, you may be able to fool
those other suckers, but not me.

No chance.

I didn't spend 18 years as
corporate controller for nothing.

And I can smell flim-flam
right down to the paper clips...

you make me buy.

And I'm gonna prove it.

It's here someplace.

And I'm gonna stay at
this desk till I find it.

I don't care if it takes a
weekend, a week, a month...

but I'm going to find it.

Gene, I don't know
what you're talking about.

I have no secrets
from you.

Oh, really?

How about...

Bolingbrooke Travel
Corporation, Bristol, England?

I stumbled on that
almost by accident.

That's how you're getting the funds
out of the country, isn't it, Milo?

I can smell it.

I really don't know
what you're talking about.

All right.

But when I get things
put together...

you can explain it all to the
Securities and Exchange Commission.

In the meantime...

I'm gonna get the rest
of these suckers together...

and we're gonna start a
class-action case against you.

And between
the SEC and us...

I'm gonna
hook you, Milo.

Gene, you're working too hard.

That's what's wrong with you.
You need some rest.

I'm serious.

Have a nice day.

Well?

Don't worry about it.

Look, he said he's working
late, after closing.

You want me to stick around,
keep an eye on him?

No, let him work.
He won't find anything.

And in eight months, I'm gonna be in
my villa overlooking the Adriatic...

with two million in Swiss
francs to keep me warm.

Buddy, relax, will you?
You worry too much.

To show you how much
that guy bothers me...

let's throw a little party
tonight at my house.

Invite that little girl.
What's her name?

Frieda.
Invite Frieda.

Yeah, Charlie's got us
a horror film.

X-rated and uncut.

See you at my place, huh?

Hey, young lady,
what are you still doing here?

I thought you'd be home
by now.

I didn't know if you'd still
be needing me, sir.

You usually call
if I can go.

Well, I didn't call, actually,
because I'm a devious man...

and I wanted to talk to you.

I'm having a little
get-together at my place...

and if you don't have
any other plans...

I won't by 6:30.

Good.

I have to go and see
Howard Parker around 7:30.

I don't know how long
that's gonna take.

So I think
it would be a good idea...

if you filled in for me
until I get there.

You don't mind driving yourself
out to the house, do you?

I think I can handle that.

Good.

You know, there's one thing
that bothers me about you.

What's that?

You're a little
unsure of yourself.

I'm very unsure.

But I'm encouraged
by your response.

Key?

It's in the mailbox
by the door.

Right.

I think I'll file
today's tapes.

That's all right,
let me do that.

I want you to get
to the house by 8:30, okay?

How's 8:15?

Hi, Jessica.

Gene Stafford.
Can I speak to him?

Hi, Jessica.

Gene Stafford.
Can I speak to him?

Hello, Gene.

How did you get in here?

Well, I thought
I'd stop by...

and try and help you answer
some of those questions.

Well, I'm doing just fine
without your help...

thank you very much.

How did you get in here?

With the master key.

I have one to all my franchises.
Sometimes it comes in handy.

Well, you can just help
yourself right out the door.

Bits and pieces.

That's all I had a week ago.

Nothing really damaging.

But now, it's starting
to all fit together.

You're sharp, Milo.

Oh, you're sharp.

But once you wipe away
all that camouflage...

it still adds up
to grand larceny.

Grand larceny?

Come Monday morning...

this neat little world of yours is
gonna come crushing down on your skull.

And it couldn't happen
to a nicer guy.

That stuff will
kill you, Gene.

Oh, I'm afraid not.

I plan to live
for a long, long time.

I'm afraid not.

So, anyway...

Lennie gets me
off to the side...

and he says to me, "Buddy, what
are you trying to do to me?"

He knew what you were
trying to do.

He just wanted
to hear you admit it.

Listen, if I had any scruples,
you think I'd be in this racket?

This is worse than that real
estate deal in San Diego...

if you can believe that.

Hey, host!
It's about time.

Hey, I'm really sorry I'm
late. How're you doing?

When does
the show start?

Hey, Buddy was telling me how much
trouble you had getting this print.

Yeah. Hey, listen,
I'm sorry I'm late.

But you know that creep
Parker? The automobile dealer?

Yeah, well, he said he wanted to
talk to me about opening a store...

so I drove all across this
town and the creep is closed.

Can you imagine? Driving
across the town for nothing?

I'll be with you
in a minute.

Hey, you thirsty?

Yeah, could I have
some orange juice?

Please.
Some Vitamin C.

Hello.

Hello.

Hi, Jessica.

Gene Stafford.
Can I speak to him?

Oh. Oh, yes, Mr. Stafford.
Just a second.

Who is it?

Gene Stafford.
Thank you.

Hello, Gene.

Where are you?

Still at the gym? Don't
you know what time it is?

You can exercise anytime.

We're having a party.

Of course
you're invited.

Change clothes and come on
over. We'll be going till dawn.

Okay, suit yourself.

Are you alone?

Well, take it easy.

Don't do anything
too strenuous.

I don't want you
to pass out.

Okay, you know
what's best.

I'll see you on Monday,
huh, Gene?

Bye.

That guy is crazy.

He's been working
in the office all day...

you know
what he's doing now?

He's working out
in the gym.

He's a walking testimonial for
the Milo Janus health program.

With his gut?
Are you kidding?

Morning.
Morning, Lieutenant.

Good morning.

It happened last night.

The place was closed.
He decided to work out alone.

His name is Stafford.

All right. Now, let me
have my coffee first.

Hey, Nolan.
You got this thing dusted yet?

Yeah. All finished.

Let's go.

What did you say?

You said
that he was here alone...

he decided to work out?

His name
was Eugene Stafford.

He owns the place.

The janitor said that he
worked late last night.

Could've been an accident,
a heart attack, anything.

You know, before coffee, I'm up, I'm
walking around, but I'm not awake.

Sure, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant...

telephone call for you.

You can take it
right through that door.

Telephone?

Who the hell's calling me
this hour?

There's a call for me.
Where can I take it?

Well, there's a phone
in Stafford's office.

Straight ahead.
First door to your right.

Hello.

What are you doing up?

You know what time it is?

It's...

Does anybody have the time?

It's 6:30.

It's 6:30.

I'm not yelling.

Who's coming?

Wait a minute.
Harry and Ethel, Norman...

Uncle Gene, and the twins.

Well, how would I know
what to feed them?

What did you feed them
the last time?

You want to give them
spaghetti, give them spaghetti.

Who's on a diet?

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Wait a minute.

Would you be quiet
for two seconds?

I got an idea.
I'll bring something back.

Chinese, okay?

You decide what you want,
you call the place...

and on the way home,
I'll pick it up.

That's right.

Look, I gotta go back to work.

I'm gonna hang up.

You can keep talking,
but I'm gonna hang up.

Hey, you.

Hey, Charlie,
what are you doing?

Oh. Excuse me, no, I was just
looking at these marks on the floor.

This floor is recently waxed,
isn't it?

You're damn right.

Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm from the police.

What do you do here, sir?

I'm the custodian,
Murphy.

I'd appreciate it, Lieutenant, if you
could keep these guys off the floor.

I spent an hour last night waxing
up to get rid of marks like this.

Oh, yeah?

What kind of marks are these?

They're heel marks,
Lieutenant.

You cops don't care how hard
a guy has to work, do you?

You don't have to
clean this floor.

I do.

Yeah.
Look, I'm sorry about that.

What time did you say you
waxed the floor last night?

Right after closing.
6:00.

Are those reading glasses?

Yeah.

May I borrow them?

You say no one walked on
this floor after you waxed it?

Nobody except you guys
and maybe Mr. Stafford.

He was working in his office
last night when I left.

Only it wasn't him, because
he was wearing sneakers...

like you're supposed to.

Well, listen,
you're absolutely right.

I'm gonna tell the guys
to be more careful.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Oh...

Mr. Murphy...

could I look at your shoes?

My shoes?

Yeah,
the bottom of your shoes.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Thank you very much.

Oh...

don't wax that
until I tell you.

Wait a minute, fellas.
Excuse me.

You find something,
Lieutenant?

May I see your shoes?

My shoes?

Yeah,
the bottoms of your shoes.

Black. Yeah, sure, they're black.

Black heels.

A lot of fellas in uniform,
they wear black shoes, right?

They all better.
Why?

Newly waxed floor, there's a
bunch of brown heel marks in there.

So?

Anybody here
have brown soles...

or brown heels?

No.

Check your shoes, fellas.
Any brown heels?

No.
No.

No, Lieutenant.

Mr. Murphy?

Yeah.

Mr. Stafford
have a locker?

Sure.
I'd like to see it.

Right this way,
Lieutenant.

Okay, take him on out.

This is it.

It's locked.

How come it's locked?

Maybe he didn't want nobody
to take anything, Lieutenant.

But you said
he was here alone.

He was.

He was certainly
a very careful man.

Can you open it?

Sure. I got a master key
right here.

I guess because Mr. Stafford
was working late last night...

you didn't clean his office?

No, I figured since he was
still here when I left...

that I'd get it
in the morning.

The stain on his rug,
the rug in his office...

what is that, coffee?

What stain?

That rug's only
five weeks old.

Be careful,
don't touch anything.

I want to dust these
for prints.

Brown heels.

Brown heels.

That's very good,
Lieutenant.

They're brown, all right.

Oh, Lieutenant, we checked all the
windows and doors and everything.

There's no sign
of forced entry.

Did you find a key
on him?

Yeah. Locker room key
next to his body on the floor.

Doc, you got a minute?

How did he die?

Strictly unofficial?

On my mother's eyes.

I'd say he was probably
exercising with that barbell...

it slipped, came crashing
down on his neck...

and crushed his windpipe.

You're sure?

Well, I'm sure
his windpipe was crushed.

But who knows? Maybe he
died of a coronary first.

Right.

Maybe he was poisoned.

Poisoned?

He sent out for some
Chinese food last night.

Yes, well, maybe some local
tong had it in for him.

Or the delivery boy. Or maybe
he just died of overeating.

What are you trying
to tell me?

Yeah, well, I'm trying to tell
you to wait for the autopsy.

Right.

Yes?

I'm looking for...

a Milo Janus.

Are you sure?

Am I sure what, ma'am?

You sounded as if you weren't
sure who you were looking for.

Milo Janus. Sure.

Oh, yeah.

Well, this is his house.

No, I was just thinking
about something else.

Lieutenant Columbo,
Police.

I see, Lieutenant.
Come in.

Milo's not here
right now.

He's down at the beach,
running.

Running? Oh, sure.

He must do a lot of that.

Mrs. Janus?

I'm Jessica Conroy.

Mr. Janus' secretary.

Ah, yes.

I see.

Can I ask you
a personal question?

You don't have to answer.

So, ask.

How old is Mr. Janus?

'Cause I got a friend,
he swears he's 51.

He's 53.

Fifty-three!

Oh, that's fantastic.

And that's
from the exercising?

Yeah.

I would've bet
he wasn't 35.

Remarkable.

Oh, hi. Milo,
this is Lieutenant...

Columbo.
Columbo.

How do you do, Lieutenant?
Pleasure, nice meeting you.

We were just...

I was remarking to your secretary
what fantastic shape you're in.

Oh, thank you very much.

Anybody can do it, if they're
willing to put some effort into it.

Fresh air, exercise,
proper diet...

that's the key to good health
and long life.

I gotta tell you what a
pleasure it is to meet you.

Your television show...

saved my marriage.

Oh?

My wife,
always a very happy woman...

last summer, she suddenly
started getting depressed.

Started to think
she was getting too fat.

And when she's depressed,
that's bad...

because all she wants to do
is eat.

Lasagna. Rigatoni.

And the more she ate,
the fatter she got.

Exactly.

Now, a couple of months ago, she
started watching your television show...

the one
with the exercise.

She got involved...

every day.

On her back...

kicking her legs.

You know, from the waist,
down, up...

down, up.

Now she's thin again.

Well, she was never
exactly thin.

I wouldn't let her...

because I happen
to like a woman that...

Well, you know,
that's something else...

but the thing is that she got all
wrapped up in these exercises...

so she forgot
to be depressed.

So she didn't eat so much.

But, you know,
I gotta tell you this...

the things
that she's been buying...

I wouldn't eat
much of that, either.

Those soybeans,
the wheat germ...

not that it's not
good for you.

You know,
I'm sure it's terrific...

but, see, I happen
to like a bowl of chili...

I like a rare steak
now and then...

Lieutenant, I'm sure you didn't
come all the way out here...

to discuss
your eating habits. Hmm?

No, sir.
As a matter of fact, I didn't.

Maybe I'm just trying
to avoid it...

because I don't have
pleasant news.

I believe you knew
a Mr. Eugene Stafford.

Knew?

Yes, sir.
I'm afraid he's dead.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Gene, dead.

How, Lieutenant?

He was alone last night
in the gym and...

He had an attack.

I knew it.

What do you mean?

I said to him last night...

not to try to do too much
too quickly...

without supervision.

You spoke to him last night?

Yeah. He called me last
night from the gym around...

What time was it, Jessica?

I don't know.

A little after 9:00,
I think.

I better write this down.

What time did you say
that was?

A little after 9:00.

And what did he say, exactly?

Did he sound as though
he were alone?

As a matter of fact,
Lieutenant, he said he was alone.

You know,
this is all so senseless.

I warned him against working out
heavily without proper supervision.

A man his age, you know,
it's not a good idea.

I asked him to come over to the party...

but he said he'd already
changed into his gym clothing.

He was gonna work out for about
a half hour and then go home.

A man his age...

sitting around for years,
getting fat and flabby...

and then he suddenly realized
how he's abused his body...

tries to correct it
just like that.

That's why he had that
heart attack, Lieutenant.

Well, we're not sure of that.

All we know is that he was
working out with a barbell.

He could've collapsed.

Or it could've slipped.

But it fell on his neck
and crushed his windpipe.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Perhaps you'd like
to sit down.

Oh, no,
I'll be all right.

Why don't you change clothes? We have
to be at the office at 10:00 anyway.

All right.
Yes, I'll do that.

I won't take up any more
of your time, sir.

Thank you very much.

Boy, that must have hurt
like the devil.

What's that?
That burn mark.

That is a burn mark,
isn't it?

Yeah, that's a burn mark.

Yeah...

I accidentally put my hand under the hot
water this morning while I was shaving.

Yeah, they hurt
like the devil.

Yeah, the last time
that happened to me...

I spilled some hot coffee
on myself.

That's what happens, you know.
You don't think what you're doing.

Oh, one more thing,
sir.

I went out to see
Mr. Stafford...

I understood he was married, but there
was no one else there in the house.

Gene and Ruth have been
separated for months.

She's living at the Crestlane
Apartments in Beverly Hills, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, I really don't
know how I can help you.

First I knew
about Gene's death...

was when a man from your
department came by this morning.

Yes, ma'am. And I'm
terribly sorry for your loss.

Oh.

Well, I'm not so sure I lost
Gene last night. I mean...

maybe it was a few months ago,
a few years ago.

You see, last September, when our
son Robbie went off to school...

it was the first time that Gene and I
had been alone together in 18 years...

and we found that we didn't really
have a lot to say to each other.

Well, that happens.

It does.
You're sure that...

Sit down, then.

Thank you.

Well, now...

what can I do for you?

I was wondering, ma'am...

did your husband
have any health problems?

Blood pressure...

heart condition...

anything like that?

I mean, not that I know of.

Lieutenant,
I'm really curious.

When...

one of your men came by
this morning...

he said that Gene had been killed by
a weight falling on him or something.

Well, we'll know more
after the autopsy.

I was wondering, do you know of anybody
that your husband had problems with?

Personal problems
or business problems?

Oh, yes.

I mean, between Milo Janus and me,
he didn't have anything but problems.

And what kind of a problem
did he have with Mr. Janus?

Business. I mean,
he was just very upset...

by the way business was going.

And our lawyers were negotiating
a property settlement...

and when talk came up
about the health spa...

I understood Gene was gonna
sell it as quickly as possible.

Why are you asking me
all this?

Gene's death was accidental,
wasn't it?

Well, it certainly appears
that way, yes, ma'am.

But you don't think so, huh?

Oh, I don't think anything
at this point. It's too early.

Well, if you're looking
for a motive...

I certainly had one.

I gave Gene everything.
He gave me nothing back.

I should be bitter.
I'm not. I loved him.

And I don't have an alibi
for last night.

Well, I wasn't gonna ask you
anything like that, ma'am.

Oh.

Well,
thank you very much.

You've been very helpful.

Sure.

Oh,
there is one other thing.

How did your husband
get involved with Mr. Janus?

I don't know
what you mean.

Well, how did they meet?

Have they been friends long?

No. No, they haven't,
and they met...

just a few months ago...

at a party given by Buddy
Castle. He's a mutual friend.

Thank you.
Sure.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Maybe you can help me.

Who is Lacey?

Lacey?

Yes, I noticed several entries
in your husband's calendar.

"Speak to Lacey.
Call Lacey. "

But there was no phone number.

No?

Wait, yeah.

When Gene was working
for Tricon Industries...

there was a man named Lacey.

Lewis Lacey.

Lewis?

L-e-w or L-o-u?

I don't know.

I mean, might not even be the same man.

Lewis Lacey.
Right.

Thank you.
Sure.

Bye-bye.

With a knick-knack,
paddy whack

Throw the dog a bone

This old man
is going home

Oh, this old man,
he played two

He played knick-knack
on my shoe

With a...

Mr. Janus!

Mr. Janus!

Mr. Janus!

Mr. Janus...

I stopped by your place.

Your housekeeper told me
you were down here swimming.

Twenty minutes a day.

You ought to try it,
Columbo.

I'm afraid not, sir.

I can't swim.

I don't even
like a deep tub.

What can I do for you?

Well, I just want to check
a few things out, sir.

We found that
the autopsy report...

confirmed what we
originally thought.

There's no question
about it...

that Mr. Stafford died
of suffocation...

when his windpipe
got crushed.

That doesn't surprise you,
does it?

No, sir.

But they did find out something
else and that bothers me.

It seems as though Mr. Stafford sent
out for a large meal around 7:30.

Chinese.

Chinese?

Yes, sir.

He ordered
some egg foo yung...

and he had
some egg rolls...

barbecued spare ribs...

pork fried rice.

Slow poison.

I guess he was hungry.

He told the delivery boy
he was hungry.

Apparently, he'd been working at his
desk all day and he skipped lunch.

So what?

Well...

I happened to be reading
this book of yours...

The Milo Janus Guide
to Health and Fitness...

and... Incidentally, it is a terrific book.

But it says
in here somewhere...

that strenuous exercise
after you eat is very bad.

That's right,
Lieutenant.

Don't you think
that's strange, sir?

That Mr. Stafford
would eat a huge meal...

and a half hour or so later
work out with a huge barbell?

No, not really, Lieutenant.
Not knowing Gene.

That's how he was. He wanted
to do everything right now.

Forget about the rules.

Lieutenant, look, I've got an
appointment in about an hour.

Well, there's just a couple of other
things that I'd like to ask you.

All right,
well...

why don't you ask me the questions
while I continue my workout, huh?

Yes, sir. Certainly. Good.

Come on, Lieutenant.

Get those knees up.
That's it.

Come on.

30 minutes a day, Columbo.
That's all.

You'll be a new man.

I'm out of shape, sir.

No question.

And those cigars
you smoke...

they're gonna kill you.

Yes, sir.

I tell you,
that's how I feel right now.

Said you had
some questions.

Yes, sir.

I...

I just want
to catch my breath.

Well, you go ahead.

I can split
my concentration.

So whenever you're ready...

you just go ahead, huh?

Well...

yes, when I'm ready.

Oh, I wanted to ask you...

about a Mr. Castle.

Who?

Mr. Castle.
Buddy Castle.

Oh, Buddy. Sure.

You must have known him
a long time.

Yeah, Buddy and I
go way back.

He's quite a character,
isn't he?

How's that,
Lieutenant?

Well, what I mean, sir,
is...

Well, I understand
he's got quite a reputation.

What do you mean,
"reputation"?

Well, what I mean,
sir, is...

he has a record.

A criminal record.

You knew about that?

Yeah.

Three years' probation...

for a fraud conviction
in Florida.

Eleven years ago.

I know everything I'm supposed to
know about people I deal with, Columbo.

Let me tell you
something.

Buddy is no thief.

He's a victim
of circumstances.

Well...

the circumstances, sir, at least
as far as I understand them...

are that...

he and his partners,
they stole nearly $400,000...

from some
unsuspecting investors.

It was an oil speculation.

Some partners.

They're the ones
that should have gone to jail.

Buddy was
an innocent bystander...

and I'm happy
to have given him a break.

Well, that's wonderful.

I mean, wonderful that a man in your
position would take that attitude.

I don't care
what people think.

Buddy is as honest
as I am.

Yes, sir.

You want a shoelace
or something?

Oh, no, sir. I think this
will... I'll get this, thank you.

It'll be good...

if I can get the knot
through the hole.

I got the knot too low. I don't
know if I can get it through here.

Lieutenant.

Yes, sir?

Can I ask you
a question?

Yes, sir.

Why are you here?

Sir?

Why are you here? Why are you
sitting there in that chair...

asking me these questions?

Gene Stafford slipped.

He fell. He died.

Unfortunate, yes...

but just an unfortunate
accident, nothing more.

Well, you see, sir, we're not
really certain of that yet.

Oh, you mean that...

maybe the egg foo yung he
ate just before he exercised?

No, sir, it was
the scuff marks, really.

Scuff marks?

Yes, sir.

You see...

we found these scuff marks
there on the...

I'll be a son of a gun.

I remember when I was a kid,
my grandfather...

he had a piece of furniture,
it was exactly like this.

Your grandfather must have
been a very wealthy man.

This piece
is over 200 years old.

Well, that sounds right. My
grandfather, he only had old furniture.

You know, he didn't
believe in buying new.

Just like this.

There was a mirror here...

and on this side...

Would you like to sit down?

Oh, yes. Sorry.

And a mirror
on that side.

What about
those scuff marks?

Oh, the scuff marks. Right.
Gee, I almost forgot.

What about them?

Oh, yeah...

on a newly waxed gym floor,
scuff marks.

Yeah?
Brown ones.

Mr. Stafford's shoes had
brown soles and brown heels.

You mean that...

Gene walked over the newly waxed gym floor?

Walking, I'm afraid, wouldn't create
these particular kind of marks, sir.

No, he would
have to stop short...

or turn abruptly...

you know,
something like that.

As a matter of fact, I had some
of the boys from the department...

come down there and try to
duplicate those exact marks.

That's what they had to do.

I mean...

if he was chasing somebody
or somebody was chasing him...

scuffle...

struggle.

You get my point?

No, I don't, Lieutenant.
Have you had breakfast yet?

No, sir.

Would you care to join me?

Well, I don't want
to put you out.

No, it's no trouble, really.
Here, put your hand out.

I just take these,
and...

Yeah, that's breakfast.

That's breakfast, huh?

Are you having any?

Sure.

The same thing?
Same as you.

Say, there's something wrong
with this orange juice.

It's carrot juice, Lieutenant.

Oh.

You mentioned something
about a struggle?

Yes, sir,
the struggle.

The heel marks...

Just put this down
for the moment.

The lab
definitely established...

that the heel marks belong
to Mr. Stafford's shoes.

And I got to thinking, "Under
what circumstances would a man...

"run on a newly waxed floor
with shoes on?"

After all, he's got his
own sneaks in the locker...

and he should know better.

So you think, you know, if
somebody was chasing him...

or if somebody was trying
to harm him.

Trying to harm him how?

Well, I don't know.

Just a thought...

but if somebody was chasing
him and they caught him...

then whatever happened...

that's when he could have
had his neck broken.

It's possible.

Well.

Of course, the problem there
is that he had his shoes on...

when the guy
was chasing him...

but when we found the body,
of course...

he'd changed into sneakers
and gym clothes.

So this is just speculation
on my part...

but it is possible that if
someone did this to him...

they would have
changed his clothes...

to make it look
like an accident.

Lieutenant,
you have my statement...

and I've already told you...

when I talked to Gene, he'd already
changed into his gym clothing.

Right, you did say that.

Right.

Well, thank you, sir. Thank
you very much for your time.

I appreciate
everything you've done.

Pleasure, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, your pills.

Yeah, I'll save these for
lunch. Thank you very much.

Remember,
fresh air, exercise...

Yeah, and diet,
I remember.

Right, good diet.
Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Buddy.

Listen, can I get back
to you in a little while?

I have somebody
here with me.

I'll meet you in the office
sometime after 10:00.

Good.

You got a light out.

What?

I said, you got a light out.

When a call comes in, isn't
the button supposed to light up?

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

Thanks. I'll call someone
and have them fix it.

Thank you again.

Excuse me, no smoking.

Oh, this is not lit.

In the ashtray, please.

Is it all right
if I just hold it?

Company policy,
no smoking on the premises.

Full name. Last name
first, first name last.

Fill out boxes
"A," "B," "C" and "D."

"E" and "F" are for company policy. Ma'am?

And you can step over to the
table when you're finished.

Ma'am.

You'll find all the pens
you want on the table.

I'm a police officer.

Why didn't you say so?

Applications for security
position are in room 502.

Right down the hall.

I'm not here for a job, ma'am.
I'm on official business.

I want some information.
Lieutenant Columbo is my name.

I'm trying to locate
a Mr. Lacey.

A Mr. Lewis Lacey.

I understand
that he's employed here.

Lacey?

Is that L-a-c-e-y?

I think so.

And Lewis. With and an "E"
or with an "O"?

Not sure.

What department?

I don't know.

I'll be with you
in one moment.

Ma'am?

Excuse me.

I'm a little pressed for time, so
when you get done with that machine...

I'd appreciate it if you
took care of my request.

Our EDS is preparing you a
hardcover copy to your coded request.

Oh, that is my request?

Yes, sir.

Oh!

Just want to know
where he works.

You'll have all the information
you need in one moment.

Anything you want?

Are you sure you put the
right thing in? I mean...

Well, we seem to be getting an
awful lot of information there.

That's why I asked.

You think we could just do it
on the phone?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. A phone call
would be much too complicated.

You sure that's not stuck?

No, sir.
It's not quite finished.

What was this Mr. Lacey?
Was he the president here?

No, he must have been
very important because...

Forget it.

I think it's over.

Thank you.

Lacey, Lewis.

He's a GH-84.

A what, ma'am?

He's been terminated.

You mean he doesn't
work here anymore?

That's what I said.

Well, do you have a home
phone, or a home address...

something like that?

Sir, the Tricon Delta 214 is a
total spectrum retrieval system.

You'll find all the information
you need right there.

Oh, thank you very much.

You're quite welcome.

Tricon is always happy to
cooperate with the authorities.

Yes, I can see that.

Excuse me, ma'am, is there a
phone here that I might use?

Yes, sir.
Right over to your right.

Thank you very much.

Hello, this is Lewis Lacey.

Yeah, Mr. Lacey, this is Lieutenant
Columbo, and the reason I'm calling...

I'm away from my desk now,
but expect to be back shortly.

Please leave your name
and number...

and I will return your call
as soon as possible.

You may start talking
when you hear the tone.

This is Lieutenant Columbo.

I am from the homicide
department of the police.

I would like to speak to you
as soon as possible.

You can reach me
at the main precinct.

The telephone number
there is...

You can look that up.

I am usually there
in the mornings.

Thank you very much.

Mrs. Stafford?

Yes, I'm Ruth Stafford.

Lewis Lacey,
Mrs. Stafford.

I'm not sure you remember me. We met
at a Tricon party some years back.

Sure, I do. Sure.
Come on in.

I feel so awful
about Gene.

He's been very good to me,
giving me this work to do...

ever since
Tricon terminated me.

My profound sympathies.

Thank you. Come on in.
Sit down.

Can I get you a drink?
No.

No, thank you.
Well, how about some wine?

No. Are you sure? I'm having some.

Mrs. Stafford, I'm afraid I
don't know quite what to do.

Do about what?

Well, Gene paid me
several hundred dollars...

to do some research
for him...

and I haven't been able
to get very far.

And what kind of research?

Well, my field
is corporate law...

and I've been doing some
checking on a Mr. Janus.

Milo Janus.

Oh. Will you have some?
No.

What kind of checking
you been doing?

Well, I was following the
corporate trail, so to speak.

I was working on tax records,
corporation charters...

to find what business
interests Mr. Janus has.

Financial worth
of companies...

that sort of thing.

Gene hired you to find out
if Milo's a thief, right?

Yes, that was his intention,
I believe.

Well?

Is he?

I don't know.

Mr. Janus is
a very shrewd businessman...

but everything I've found
seems totally proper.

In a legal sense, of course.

Mr. Stafford promised me some
further names to run down.

A couple of overseas companies where
Mr. Janus has been funneling money...

apparently without notifying
the Internal Revenue Service.

I don't suppose
he mentioned the names to you.

No, he didn't.
Oh.

I really don't know
what to do.

I can't go any further
without them.

I mean, I'm not even sure
you'd want me to continue.

I don't really feel
as if I've earned the money.

No, don't think about it.
Don't worry about that.

These are my notes.

You should have them.

Thank you. I'll look at them.
Thank you.

I liked your husband
very much, Mrs. Stafford.

I'm terribly sorry.

Thank you. So am I.

Thanks for coming by.

Bye.
Bye-bye.

Mr. Castle?

Trying to talk to you
for a couple of days.

Lieutenant Columbo.

You want to talk
to me, Lieutenant?

I'm investigating
the death of Mr. Stafford.

Well, I can't tell you
anything. I wasn't there.

The custodian...

Do you have a pencil?

No, I don't.

The custodian, Murphy...

he says he left the building
at 7:00.

Did he?

You got to Mr. Janus',
at what time was that, sir?

8:30, 9:00.
Something like that.

Would you mind telling me...

where you were between 7:00 and the
time you arrived at Mr. Janus' house?

7:00,
I was home getting dressed.

I left about 7:30.

I picked up
Miss Frieda Berk...

and we went directly
from her place to Milo's.

B-e-r-k?

Yeah, it's German.

Frieda Berk.

What is this all about,
Lieutenant?

Gene Stafford
died accidentally.

You make it seem
as if he were murdered.

I didn't say that.

Well, it's either that or you
like to waste people's time...

by asking a lot
of foolish questions.

I have an appointment
in seven minutes.

So may I please
be excused?

One thing, sir.

You a stockholder
in Mr. Janus' enterprise?

A minor one.

I was trying to find out a little
bit more about the business.

I spoke to a Mr. Lacey.

Who?

L-a-c-e-y.

I finally talked to him
this morning.

I don't know any Lacey.

Look, if you want to know
something about the business...

you talk to Milo.
He handles everything himself.

Now, will you excuse me?

Excuse me.
Yes?

Oh, Lieutenant...

Columbo.

We met a couple of days ago
at Mr. Janus' house.

I remember, Lieutenant.

I was wondering,
do you think that I could...

Excuse me.

Mr. Janus' office.

No, I'm sorry,
he's not here right now.

He's at our Chatsworth spa
for the next week or two.

Yes, that's right.

Sure, you can call him there.
Thank you.

Well, you just
answered my question.

What's that,
Lieutenant?

No, I was wondering whether
I could see Mr. Janus...

but I heard you say that
he's up at the Chatsworth spa.

Yes, until we find
somebody else.

You know,
that's very interesting.

What do you do,
you record all calls on that?

Mr. Janus seems to think
it's a good precaution.

You get some
pretty strange people...

with some
pretty strange ideas.

Oh, you mean lawsuits.

We've had our share.

So this way you protect
yourself. You record all calls.

Along with a log. Yes.

Can't be too careful.
Very smart.

Excuse me.

Mr. Janus' office.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Stafford.

I'm sorry,
he's not here right now.

He's at our Chatsworth spa.

He'll be there
for a week or two.

Perhaps you'd like
to call him there.

555-9214.

Mrs. Stafford?

Well, this is fascinating. You don't
suppose I could hear how this works?

Certainly, Lieutenant.

Mr. Janus' office.

This is Ruth Stafford.
I want to speak to Mr. Janus.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Stafford.

I'm sorry,
he's not here right now.

What do you mean, "not there"? Where is he?

He's at our Chatsworth spa.

He'll be there
for a week or two.

Why wasn't I told?
Who gave him that right?

Perhaps you'd like
to call him there.

What's the number?

555-9214.

Mrs. Stafford?

That reminds me
of my sister-in-law.

Does she always
sound like that?

How's that, Lieutenant?

You know,
a little smashed.

Well, I wouldn't know.
I seldom speak to her.

Oh, you spoke mostly to him.

Yes, that's right.

Then I suppose you have a lot
of recordings with his voice.

Yes, Lieutenant.

I think I'll run over
to the Chatsworth spa.

Oh, one more thing.

The night
that Mr. Stafford died...

you went over to Mr. Janus'
house. What time was that?

Around 8:15.

And...

Mr. Janus wasn't there at
that time, is that right?

Yes, that's right. He had to
go see a prospective buyer.

He didn't get back to the
house until a little after 9:00.

And that's when
Mr. Stafford called?

More or less.
Mr. Janus came home...

and then he went into the study
to start the film projector.

Oh.

That's when
Mr. Stafford called.

Yes.

May I borrow a pencil?

Sure.

Are you certain it was Mr.
Stafford that was on the line?

Yes.

You're sure?

I recognized his voice,
Lieutenant.

What did he say?

"Hello, Jessica,
this is Gene Stafford. "

What was his attitude?
How did he sound?

Businesslike, as usual.

Then I take it
it's not unusual...

for you to be in Mr.
Janus' house in the evening.

Yes, Lieutenant.

As a matter of fact, that was
the first time I was ever there.

What are you driving at?

Nothing to do with you,
ma'am.

No, I was just wondering...

if Mr. Stafford was used to having
you answer the phone in the office...

why wasn't he surprised when you
answered the phone in the house?

May I keep this?

Sure.

Now, Mr. Janus, he's got two
telephone lines into his house.

6901 and 6902.

That's right.

Do you remember which
line the call came in on?

No, I'm sorry.

Oh...

do you remember
when the call came in...

did the light under the button
light up?

Yes.

As a matter of fact,
Lieutenant...

it was the second line, 6902.

Thank you very much, ma'am.
You've been very helpful.

Good evening.
Good evening.

Chianti
for the gentleman?

Thank you.

Would you like
some wine?

Sure?

No, I want to keep
a clear head.

Thank you.

You know, stress isn't good
for you, Ruth.

Why don't you relax
and try and enjoy yourself?

I know
you still love him.

I never tried
to hide that.

He was a wonderful guy.

You know, much more than
just a business associate.

Oh, come on, Milo,
cut it out.

Don't pretend with me.
I know what you're doing.

Doing?

I don't understand.

You're moving in on the spa
already. You're taking it over.

That's just temporary until I
can find a buyer for you, Ruth.

Suppose I don't want a buyer.

Suppose I want
to run the business myself.

Well, you don't have
any experience.

I could learn.

I could get
a good accountant...

someone who understood
the books.

But you might not approve
of that.

That's what Gene was doing.
Before he died.

He was working on the books.
But you knew that, didn't you?

No, I didn't.

Milo, let me
ask you something.

Let me ask you something
about the M.J. Manufacturers.

That broken-down
pill factory...

where you manufacture
health food...

and then sell it
for six times the cost.

Now, look, Ruth...

Okay, I won't ask you
about that.

I'll ask you about the
Green Eagle Manufacturers...

where you manufacture
Milo Janus gym equipment.

Damn it, Ruth,
I have to maintain quality.

Profits. Profit.

What do you do
with all that money, Milo?

Reinvest it.
In the franchises.

When I grow, you grow.

I don't think so.

And Gene didn't think so.

What Gene thought...

or what Gene
could have proven...

that's a different matter.

Let it be, Ruth.

You can live comfortably
for the rest of your life.

I will sell your franchise.

But if you keep making
these wild accusations...

the value of your investment's
gonna go down, Ruth, way down.

A threat?

No. Not a threat.

Just sound advice. You don't know
anything about the business world.

The real business world. And for
that matter, neither did your husband.

He lived in that ivory tower of
Pentagon bureaucrats, pushovers.

It's a lot tougher selling
apples on the street corner.

That's what I do,
and I do it successfully.

And no one's gonna
spoil it, Ruth.

No one. Understand?

Have some wine.
Actually, it's very good.

Relax.

Later we'll go over
to my place.

Where are you going?

Out.

Can I do something for you?

What do you say, Buddy? Hi, Milo.

Hey, did you set up that
appointment with Parker?

I think he's ripe now.

Yeah, I got a call and I
booked you lunch at the club.

Good.

We've got
another small problem.

If it's a little problem,
you handle it.

I don't think I can,
not this one.

What's he doing here?

Well, you know that
introductory 30-day offer...

we've been pushing
on television?

Yeah.

What he's doing here.

Hey, Mr. Janus,
how you doing?

Listen, I gotta tell you,
this is terrific.

I'm starting to feel
like a new man already.

Fine, fine, Columbo.

Of course, you know, I've only
been on it for about 20 minutes...

but you know what it is?

It's a whole
different attitude.

I mean, I believe that this is
gonna make a new man out of me.

I'm skipping beer,
giving up the cigars...

no more chili.

That's fine, Columbo.

You'll have to
excuse me.

I've got some paperwork I have
to take care of. I understand.

Just a few more questions
that I want to ask you.

Columbo, I don't have
the time.

Excuse me, sir.
I gotta get back to work.

I thought I'd pop in.
It's about the barbell.

What?

The barbell, sir.

I was talking to some of
the people around here.

It weighs 180 pounds.
It's a heavy thing to lift.

I understand that...

Mr. Stafford never lifted
anything heavier than 150 pounds.

That's right.

When he tried to lift
180 pounds, it killed him.

Yeah, it certainly did.

But you know...

I guess there's not a lot
of people around here...

Do you mind if I come in?
Lieutenant, I don't mean to be rude...

but I told you
in the gym...

I'm really very busy.

I'm pressed myself,
so I'll make it fast.

Where was I?

Oh, yes.

I guess there's not a lot
of people around here...

that could press
180 pounds.

Outside of yourself,
of course.

Me?

Well, I understand that
you once pressed 250 pounds.

I wanna tell you,
that's a lot of weight.

Listen, I got
a little confession to make.

You know, I tried
to lift up that barbell.

I couldn't get the damn thing
above my knees.

I mean, it shows you
the kind of shape I'm in.

Would you please
get to the point?

Oh, yes, sir.

Well, you know some of my
thoughts on this case, and...

You know, the possibility
in my mind...

that maybe the barbell
didn't kill Mr. Stafford.

You know, that someone either
struck him or choked him...

or something like that.

And if that is the case,
whoever staged it...

to make it look
like an accident...

he'd have to be strong enough
to lift up a 180-pound barbell...

and place it
on Mr. Stafford's neck.

Are you accusing me because
I once pressed 250 pounds?

Oh, no, sir.

Oh, no, I wasn't
accusing anybody.

No, let me explain.

No, what I'm trying
to do here is...

I'm trying to figure out
how many people...

around here...

are capable
of lifting 180 pounds.

Lieutenant, I can tell you
in the gym right now...

there are at least
a dozen men...

that could lift up that bar
and put it on Gene's body...

if that's what happened.

But why don't you accept the
fact that it was an accident?

Well, it's also
about the shoes.

Shoes?

Yes, sir, Mr. Stafford's
brown-heeled shoes.

Oh, yeah, you mentioned
something about a struggle.

Well, I wasn't thinking
exactly about that, sir.

No...

you see,
the shoes weren't untied.

The shoelaces.
They were still tied.

And it seems funny to me that
a man would take off his shoes...

without untying the laces.

Unless, of course,
he was in a hurry.

But I don't know
where he was rushing to.

He was just gonna
go work out.

You see, that bothers me.

You know what bothers me,
Lieutenant?

Your constant insinuation that I know
more about Gene Stafford's death...

than I've already told you.

Is that the impression
that I give?

Yes, that is the impression
that you give, Lieutenant.

I'm sorry, sir.

If you recall,
I was at home with friends...

when Gene died, remember?

Yes, sir.
You certainly were.

Let me see.

You got home
a little after 9:00...

and Mr. Stafford called
a few minutes after that.

That's about right.

That's what I have
written down.

See? It's right there, sir.

Well, thank you very much.

There's one other thing, sir.
Your secretary...

she said she left the office
around 6:00 that night...

to go home and change and when she
left, you were still in the office.

That's right.

Would you mind
telling me, sir...

I don't want to sound
like I'm accusing you...

but it's a question
I really have to ask.

Where were you in those three
hours from 6:00 until 9:00?

What difference can it make?

Oh, it probably doesn't
make any difference...

but I'm gonna tell you
what my problem is.

I got a new boss.

He's a nice man, but he's
a little young for the job.

So he's a stickler
for details...

and I have to
be very thorough.

All right, Lieutenant,
if you must know...

I was in my downtown office
until 7:00...

and then I drove to Pasadena.

May I?

Certainly.

Is that with two "N's"?
Well, what's the difference?

I'll know what it is.

One "N," Lieutenant.

Thank you.

What were you doing
in Pasadena, sir?

I went to Parker Motors.

Mr. Parker, the owner, was
interested in talking to me...

about a Milo Janus franchise.

So I thought I'd drive out
there and discuss it with him.

How'd you make out?

I didn't.

When I got there,
the place was closed...

so I turned around
and I drove home.

He wasn't there.

What time is it, sir?

Almost 11:00.

I gotta check into
the headquarters.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, Mr. Janus,
just one more thing, please.

I thought you had
a clock to punch.

I do.
I'm leaving right now.

It's about Mrs. Stafford.

I understand that you and she had a little
disagreement in a restaurant last night.

Have you been
following me, Columbo?

No. What happened was this.

Mrs. Stafford came down
to headquarters this morning.

She spoke to some of the
fellas in the other division.

What other division?

Bunco.

Bunco?
Yes.

Made a lot
of wild accusations...

about you,
about your operation.

Now, it's clear...

Mrs. Stafford is a very
inexperienced businesswoman.

How's that, Lieutenant?

The way you run
your business operation.

I spoke to a Mr. Lacey.

He's somewhat of an expert
on business.

And I suppose
he called me a crook?

No, sir, he never said that.

He said,
and he repeated this...

he said technically,
you're within the law.

Of course,
I can understand...

how Mrs. Stafford
and even Mr. Stafford...

how they could get upset
over some of the things...

that are going on
around here.

That's enough, Columbo.

I'm tired of your accusations
and your innuendos.

All I'm trying to do
is determine the facts, sir.

If you have anything
to say to me...

you say it through my
attorney, is that clear?

Yes, sir.

And be damn sure you know
what you're talking about.

Nurse Colburn, please.
EKG to 447.

Nurse Colburn, please.
EKG to 447.

Excuse me,
Lieutenant Columbo.

I understood they brought
a Mrs. Stafford in.

Oh, yes, she's in ICU.
Dr. Freeman's with her now.

It's down the hall
to your left.

Dr. Golden,
call seventh floor, please.

Dr. Golden.

Excuse me. How is she?

Well, she'll live,
but it was close.

What happened?

Booze, pills.
A deadly combination.

A neighbor found her.

Lieutenant.

You're gonna be all right.

I knew he was cheating Gene.

And I told him I knew.

He just laughed at me.

All right, take it easy.

Guess I had too much to drink.

And then I couldn't sleep.

His face just kept going
around and around...

laughing and laughing.

I'll be in the waiting room.
You get some rest.

Dr. Dormer...

check with x-ray lab,
please. Dr. Dormer.

How is she?
They won't tell me a thing.

What do you care?

Ma'am. What's that supposed to mean?

May I have that magazine?

You don't care
whether she lives or dies.

As a matter of fact, she's
drinking because of you...

because she thinks you're responsible
for the death of her husband.

And you want to know
something? So do I.

I warned you in my office.
Don't you...

I checked your alibi for the
time before you got to the house.

It doesn't wash.

First of all,
I don't need an alibi...

and secondly,
I was at Parker Motors.

You said they were closed
when you got there.

The fact is, they've been open every
night until 9:00 for the past month.

May I have that magazine?
Have they?

That's right.

Got a match?

Your health program didn't
last very long, did it?

Long enough.

You know something, Columbo?

You're a devious man.

That's what they tell me.

I'm gonna tell you
something.

What I meant to say...

was that I drove out
to Parker Motors...

but when I got there,
Parker's car was gone.

So I assumed
that he left for the day.

And since my original
statement to you was verbal...

you must have misunderstood
what I said.

Now, if you claim otherwise,
I'm gonna deny it.

Is that clear?

That's very clear.

I don't care what you think.

I don't care what you suspect.

I don't care
what visions you see...

when you look
at your cigar ashes...

because I'm innocent.

I have an alibi for the
time Gene Stafford died.

And you can huff and puff on that
rotten cigar until next July...

and you'll never
prove otherwise.

I wouldn't count on that.
Columbo...

if you are smart...

I won't be seeing you again.

Stand still, Johnny.

Stop moving!

Good morning,
Mr. Janus.

Morning, Susan.

Yes.

Milo, what are you
trying to do to me?

I just got a batch of
invoices from Green Eagle...

and I gotta tell you,
pal...

you've got a lot of guts
charging prices...

Columbo, what the hell
are you doing?

Oh, just a little
phone demonstration, sir...

to show how a man
who's already dead...

can appear to be alive.

Well, your little joke
was not funny.

It wasn't meant to be funny,
sir. Oh, no.

No, you see this tape,
this is tricky stuff.

The other day,
I'm in the employment office.

I call the phone
of Mr. Lewis Lacey.

Now, he gets on the phone,
and he says...

"Hello, this is Mr. Lacey. "

Now, I get out
a whole sentence...

before I realize
I'm not talking to him.

I'm talking to a recording.

A thing like that,
it makes an impression on you.

This tape here...

this is a tape
of a conversation...

you had with Mr. Stafford
two months ago.

I clipped out
a piece of it...

and I played it back on the
phone. I hope you don't mind.

But I do mind. What the hell
gives you the right, Columbo?

This, sir.

This is a warrant.

This gives me the right.

I also found the spot
on the tape...

that you clipped out before.

The tape that you used
to convince your secretary...

that Mr. Stafford was alive
and working out in the gym.

It came from this reel.

But when you play
this reel back, it skips...

from the end
of the previous phone call...

to the point where your
secretary tells you...

that Mr. Stafford
is on the phone...

but in between
there's a splice mark.

You see it?

Now, I figure
what's been clipped out...

that's the part
where Mr. Stafford said...

"Hello, Jessica, this is Gene
Stafford. Can I speak to Mr. Janus?"

Something like that.

You see how easy it is
to fool people.

Columbo...

you've got some imagination.

Even if someone did clip out
a section of that tape...

it could have been anyone...

that knew about those files.

But it wasn't anyone, sir.

You carried on a lengthy
conversation on the phone with him...

didn't you?

I'll tell you how you did it,
if you're interested.

Go ahead,
it's your fairy tale.

When you came home, sir...

after you murdered
Mr. Stafford...

you went into your study...

and you pushed down line 6901.

Then you dialed 6902...

knowing that your secretary in the
living room would answer the phone.

She picks up the phone.

Naturally, she recognizes
Mr. Stafford's voice.

Now you come out of the study,
you take the phone...

and you stage
this imaginary conversation.

Even to the point
of planting the idea...

that he was working out
with exercise equipment.

Did I?

Yes, sir, you did.

And you did something else,
and this was smart.

And I give you credit
for this.

You removed the bulb on the
phone in the living room...

so that the line
wouldn't light up.

Because if 6901 lit up...

the people there would know that you
were talking from the phone in the study.

Guess work. Supposition.

More cigar ashes.

What you need,
Lieutenant, is proof.

That's what you need, proof.

It didn't take me
till July...

but I got the proof.

Right here.

Your sworn statement...

regarding
the telephone conversation...

that you claim
you had with Mr. Stafford.

But I did talk to him.
I talked to him.

And he was at the health club?

Yes.

And he was working out
with the barbell?

He said
he was about to work out.

Here's your quote.

"He already changed
into his gym clothes.

"He said he was going to work
out for about a half an hour...

"and then go home. "

Is that what he said?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes, damn it.
That's what I said.

That's impossible,
Mr. Janus.

Oh, that's just not possible.

Lieutenant,
that's a very expensive desk.

Oh, excuse me.

If you'd just bear with me
for a moment.

Because this
is very interesting.

Watch this carefully.

I tie my shoes
like most right-handed people.

I make my first loop...

and you'll notice
that the loop is over my arch.

It's on the same side
as my big toe.

Is that true?

That's right.

Just bear with me, sir.

Oh, that's my lunch.
That doesn't mean nothing.

Here we are.

This is an old sneaker
of mine.

Now I turn
that sneaker around...

just like I was gonna
tie somebody else's shoe.

I do the laces the same way...

and I make my first loop.

You'll notice that the loop...

is now on the opposite side.

It's on the side
of the little toe.

Here, it was on the side
of the big toe.

This is the exact reversal
of this.

Is that true?

Yes, Lieutenant, that's true.

You see, I knew there was
something about these shoelaces...

that was bothering me.

I just couldn't
put my finger on it.

Oh, yes.

Look at this photograph.

This is a picture
of Mr. Stafford's sneakers.

It was taken
when the body was discovered.

You'll notice
that the first loop...

which you can
always identify...

it's the top loop...

the first loop is on the side
of the little toe.

Now look at this shoe.

This is Mr. Stafford's shoe.

I found it in his locker.

Now, this is
the interesting point.

When I tie my own lace...

the first loop
is on the side of the big toe.

When Mr. Stafford
ties his own laces...

the first loop
is on the side of the big toe.

This matches with this.

However...

when I tie
somebody else's shoe...

the first loop is on the side
of the little toe.

And this matches with this.

There's only one conclusion.

Mr. Stafford did not
put on his own sneakers.

Somebody else did.

And that somebody was you.

You changed his clothes.

Now, you wait a minute,
Lieutenant. I'll tell you something.

Your little demonstration proves
one thing and one thing only.

That somebody else
put on Stafford's gym shoes...

but the fact remains
you can't prove that I did it.

It could have been anybody.

It could only be you.

By your own admission,
it had to be you.

Mr. Stafford was last seen
around 7:30...

wearing his business clothes.

Now, he's alone
in the building...

the building is locked...

and the next morning,
he's found dead...

in his gym clothes!

And at 9:00
the previous evening...

nine hours
before the body was found...

you and you alone...

knew that he was
in his gym clothes.

You said so.

You swore to it
in front of five witnesses.

How did you know
he was in his gym clothes...

if you didn't change
the clothes?

You tried to contrive
the perfect alibi, sir.

And it's your perfect alibi
that's gonna hang you.