Original subtitles

Today, class, we have a new classmate.

And he's joining us from France.

I love you!

I love you!

Wow!

Ah, Napoleon! Superb!

Mom! Look! Napoleon.

Mom? Mom, wake up!

Mom! Wake up!

Mom, wake up!

Hmm.

Looks like it might be time for a new coat, my friend.

Although, with the bleak winter now upon us,

perhaps fresh coats for all the men would boost morale.

Hmm.

Gentlemen.

Bid us courage in battle.

It's for charity, love.

Merry Christmas, mate! Here's your Santa hat.

Good morning, Aubrey.

Oh, far from it, Janet.

Any chance of a good morning was ruined by me having to battle

through marauding hordes of Christmasers.

They must choke to death navigating that

dreadful Christmas market.

The stench of mulled wine

-was unbearable. -One plain croissant,

And those ear-grinding carol singers.

Isn't it bad enough that we have Christmas forced down our throats

every year without having it trumpeted into our ears, as well?

Mate?

What's taking so long?

Just get your stuff and go.

I beg your pardon?

-Out. -What?

Now.

I'm so sorry, Janet. I'm babbling on. I--

I didn't mean to lose you a customer.

Aubrey, don't worry.

He is not the kind of customer

I want in my shop.

Now, you have a good day.

- I'll try. See you tomorrow. - Hmm.

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, bonjour, Aubrey.

Bonjour, Monsieur Hopkins.

Now, I have an old friend

who's in dire need of a new coat

Oh...

Le Petit Caporal.

Oui, monsieur. The very same.

Oh, one of a kind, he is.

Be worth a small fortune now.

Oh, the prices some of these collectors pay these days...

Mr. Hopkins.

I'd never sell Napoleon.

I know that you wouldn't.

I know that you wouldn't, Aubrey.

Obviously, um, if Napoleon is to have

a new coat, then so too must his army.

Oh, Aubrey.

That will take forever.

Don't you have any plans for Christmas?

Yes, I plan to avoid it altogether.

-Oh... -Now, I estimate, if I start on the infantry tonight,

I'll be putting the final brush strokes to the 4th division of the Hussars

when the last plastic Christmas tree has been tossed into

a skip.

Now, for the infantry, we will need,

uh, Prussian blue for the coats, obviously.

Dark vermillion for the cuffs, not to forget the metallics

for the detail and...

Aubrey, Aubrey. History

is all well and good, but...

it's important to connect with people in the present, too.

When was the last time you saw your dad?

You don't want to end up old and alone...

...with only dusty toy soldiers to keep you company.

I'd never let that happen.

I always dust my troops.

I'll fetch your paints.

Hey, oi, pal. Sorry, excuse me, have you got a light?

Have you got a light?

Now if there's one thing I love

about Christmas it--

Oh, blast.

Gloria!

Ellen. Where's the fire?

-Have you come to rescue me? -Have you been smoking again, Gloria?

No.

Then why have you tied your tights

around the smoke detector?

I was doing you a favor.

Trying to free up a bed.

Nice try.

Sorry about that, Sadie. Follow me.

Right, everyone. This is Sadie.

-Oh, hello, Sadie. -Hello.

Ooh, is that him?

-Yeah, it's him. -Well... Has he got one?

If you're going into town, could you put it on for us, Ellie?

Two pound fifty each way, on Genie's Wish,

running in the 3:15 at Chepstow.

-Got it. -Oh!

Stick a fiver on for me, will you, Ellen?

Yeah, but you still owe me from last week.

-Yeah. -I'll see you all in a bit.

So Jean's grandson is a dockie,

so he sends her tips from time to time.

She loves a flutter.

She's also mad on the bingo.

Right, this is you.

I'll leave you to settle in.

If you need anything, you just let me know, okay?

Come on, Ellen, we'll be late.

- It's outrageous. You can't close Willow Lodge. - Mr. Formby-- Mis--

- It's not right. - Mis-- Mr. Formby, please.

I understand where Willow Lodge sits in your heart and I understand why it does so,

but you've had your three minutes.

You've made your objections clear.

So unless you've got some additional

or new information that you haven't shared with us over the last

six meetings, please sit down,

and we can proceed.

There he is.

Hugo Fox, Mr. Bloomin Gravitas.

Mr. Fox. Mr. Fox--

Could you turn your mobile phone to silent?

Very well.

So, in the matter of the sale

of four residential homes under application

three seven eight forward slash three seven eight d

to...

Gravitas Luxury Apartments Ltd,

unless officers have any objections?

No? No?

In that case...

the sale will proceed in 30 days' time

providing no lawful impediment manages to bar its completion,

title should transfer to Gravitas Luxury Apartments Ltd.

- If I could just make one final point,

the council will obviously endeavor

to rehouse the current residents

of Willow Lodge in the New Year.

They'll scatter everyone to the four winds

in the cheapest, run-down places they can find.

Yes, alright.

-Aubrey. -A health warning! That's what

this infernal time of year should come with.

I almost slipped and broke my neck on that blasted snow outside.

Shh, don't mention necks!

Hmm.

What a strange looking fellow.

Unusual teeth.

Some sort of gum disease?

It's Dracula.

Count Dracula.

Ah, so he's an aristocrat?

He's a vampire.

Dracula? By Bram Stoker.

It's a literary classic.

Oh. Really? Well, I don't read fiction.

History is real.

Fiction is just made-up stories.

All our lives are stories, Aubrey.

The history of Napoleon

is just his story.

The history of Aubrey Flint

is being written as we speak.

Ponder that!

Woah!

Mr. Hopkins?

Oh, no. Oh, no. Please.

Oh, not again.

Oh, my God.

Please.

Three weeks?

At least three weeks.

That's a nasty fracture on your left hip.

Oh, I can't possibly stay in hospital for three weeks.

I've got a shop to run.

You can't run anything if you can't walk.

Three weeks.

Doctor's orders.

Oh, no.

Well... look on the bright side.

At least you'll avoid all those dreadful Christmas shoppers.

I don't want to avoid people.

The Christmas trade keeps the shop

afloat for the rest of the year.

Aubrey?

Maybe you could look after the shop.

Me? Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no. I-- I couldn't.

Of course you could.

You know that shop like the back of your hand.

You know the models, the paint.

Yes, yes, but I'd also have to deal with people.

The public. No, no, no. No, no, no. No thank you, indeed.

Could be the making of you.

Life is about connecting with people.

Yes, but I don't like people.

I'm repainting my entire army to avoid people and avoid Christmas

Please, Aubrey.

I've got nobody else.

W--

W--

Well, I suppose, as long as it's only for a couple of weeks.

Trust me.

It'll be a breeze.

...the model?

No, no, no.

Forget it...

Weekday afternoon you should be at work, anyway.

Gravitas,

where luxury meets lifestyle.

- If you're looking for a stylish, modern city apartment

in York City Center, you'll find your...

Is that another Gravitas advert?

You've got to stop watching those.

Willow Lodge provides care

for the elderly and the needy.

-Listen-- -None of these people are needy!

-Just listen to me for a sec. -That's why it was gifted

to this city in the first place.

Just shut up and listen.

I think I've got us a lifeline.

The Arts Guild?

We could put on a play.

I think it could save us.

A play? I mean, we're not

exactly the Theatre Royal, Ellen.

No, but if we can get the Arts Guild

to recognize Willow Lodge as a community arts venue,

that throws a massive spanner in the works

when it comes to selling this place.

-How? -'Cause they're not just shutting down a care home,

They're shutting down a local theater space.

And the Arts Guild would have something to say about that, wouldn't they?

Exactly.

Janet, come in. Come in.

Aubrey, where's Mr. Hopkins?

-He's in hospital. -What? What happened?

He broke his hip.

I'm just running the shop

until he gets out.

If you're running the shop, why is it closed

in the middle of the day?

-Because of the people. -Aubrey.

The public. They're getting in the way, disturbing the models.

Their knowledge of historical military attire

is, frankly, appalling.

One idiot wanted to paint

an 1857 Waffenrock red.

Imagine, a Prussian in red.

I mean, I just-- I just refuse to serve--

Aubrey, stop!

How long has this shop been closed?

Nine days...

Oh, no, sorry.

Ten, plus today. Ten days.

Excuse me? Are you open?

-Yes. -No.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Now...

I want you to go and visit Mr. Hopkins.

Tell him I'm running the shop and

get him a card and a present.

What kind of present?

I don't know.

Maybe a--

A new snow globe from Christmasland.

Oh, I am not going to Christmasland.

Mr. Hopkins is in hospital, alone.

And if you visit him with a present, it will cheer him up.

Yes, I want to cheer him up, I just don't want to go there--

Aubrey!

You will go to Christmasland

right now and buy Mr. Hopkins

a new snow globe.

Understand?

-Promise? -Oh, yes. Yes. I promise.

Go on, then.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Hey! That's mine, that is. I saw it first.

You-- you jumped in ahead of me.

-I certainly did not. -Give it here.

No, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't.

-Give me that snow globe! -No, no, I can't.

-Give it here now! -Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.

Gimme that!

I can't. Get-- s-- stop!

Stop it!

What are you doing?

You're mad, you are.

How can you do that to me?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Did you see what he just did to me?

A man of my age?

He attacked me. Go on, elves!

-Go on! Go and take him away. -No, no, no, no!

Yes, yes.

He's a liar.

Thank you for coming to get me, Janet.

That's okay, Aubrey.

I'm sorry for all the trouble.

Aubrey, this is not the first time I've had to bail someone

from a police station.

Am I going to go to prison?

No.

First offense, no prior convictions.

You will have to pay a fine, though. But that's all.

Oh.

Hang on.

Yo, bro.

Yo.

-I don't know what-- -You two.

Come here.

Hurry up!

Chop-chop.

Right. Fred, Rose,

take these, all right? And when I say take I don't mean rob.

I know what you lads are like.

Take them, over to the border,

get them planted, eight inches apart.

Uh, no, no. Sorry, sorry.

Um, these are azaleas.

- They're what? - Azaleas.

They prefer ericaceous soil.

Will they? Do you know what I prefer,

Shakespeare? A week's holiday in Terravecchia

with one of Bananarama. It's not happening though, is it?

All right? They're Yorkshire plants and

they'll be planted in Yorkshire mud.

Don't worry about it.

In this soil?

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Absolutely not.

-Right, you, get digging. -Nah, I'm with Shakespeare.

Seems like he knows his stuff.

I've had enough of this.

You're both getting reported.

Good on you, boys. Tell him to get lost.

What a ruddy labor camp.

Known for burying nuts.

But they forget many, helping plant trees.

Oh... Being a squirrel must be sick.

Oh! Who's put you two on the naughty set?

- The gardener. - Well, if you can call him that.

The man's a horticultural philistine.

Oh, Colin. What's he done to deserve that title?

He doesn't care.

He said it himself.

Doesn't care that azaleas must be planted

in ericaceous soil to thrive.

Hm!

Ellen, you got a minute?

These two have been taking the mick and refusing to work.

That's not true. We tried to help, but he didn't want to listen.

I'm not having it, all right? I'm not having these jailbirds

-telling me how to garden. -What you chatting about, bro?

Well, do I lecture you two about bank robbing?

Who's ro-- What's he talking about?

Alright, Colin, let's take a breath, shall we?

And her, she's been giving me constant lip.

He's been picking on those boys.

I'm surprised you've been able to see that, Gloria,

through the constant cloud of smoke.

Oh, give it a rest, Colin.

And you know she's leaving all the dog ends

-again on the patio. -Gloria.

I don't know why you're even bothering with the garden.

We'll all be long gone by spring.

I can't work with these reprobates.

Mm-hmm. Likewise.

Okay. I might live to regret this,

but why don't you two help me out in here instead?

Yeah, alright.

Great. Problem solved.

Thanks, Colin.

I'm Ellen. If you're gonna be in here with me,

you're gonna be working with the residents.

From now until Christmas.

We're gonna help them put on a play.

And a bit of a morale boost wouldn't hurt.

What do you mean a play? Which play?

It's the quintessential Christmas classic.

Kamikaze Christmas Cops 2: Back From The Dead?

No. Obviously not.

How are we gonna do that in a care home?

It's A Christmas Carol.

So, auditions tomorrow.

Do you wanna take one of these so you know the story?

No.

No, thank you.

I don't read fiction.

I only read history.

You can't not read fiction.

Hmm, that's a double negative.

Go on. It's a really heartwarming sto--

No, no, I-- I don't want it.

Thank you.

No.

I'll read it.

See what this Carol girl's about.

Pretty random way to get into showbiz, eh?

Mm-hmm.

So what you've got planned tonight, Shakespeare?

Oh, I've just got some painting to do at my flat.

-Oh, yeah? Kitchen? Bathroom? -No.

Imperial Guard.

What's that?

It's my model army.

Oh, that is...

peak white guy right there.

I respect it.

I'll catch you tomorrow, yeah?

So like a listed building, but for arts instead of architecture?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And we need a five-star rating

from the Arts Guild to get theater status.

-Huh. -So you see why this play means so much.

- The elders know what's really going on? - -No, I don't want to

get their hopes up. Their home's at stake.

- It's a lot of pressure. - They'd want to help.

You know, get them all hustling together.

It could save this place.

You don't have to do it all on your own.

Okay. No, you're right.

Let's muster the troops.

Big Ben.

- What? - Well...

Big Ben's actually the-- the bell.

Not the, you know, to all intents and purposes...

That's Big Ben.

Right.

Okay, listen up, everyone.

We've got a plan.

We're putting on a play.

Christmas Carol, this Christmas,

and if it's really good, it-- it might help save the place.

We're holding auditions.

And these are the scripts.

It's not looking good, is it?

Come on, love.

Last week, I was one away from a full house.

-I don't win those 'cause... -Hi, ladies.

Are you here for the Christmas Carol

-auditions? -No,

we're here for the bingo.

Oh, Jean, it's been moved to

five o clock, sorry.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Oh, come on, I'm off for a brew.

You could...

audition...

Are the auditions in here?

Yes! Maureen, come on in.

Right, who wants to go first?

W-- We're not auditioning.

We're just here to watch.

Okay, we've got an audience, but no actors.

-H-- Harry! -Yeah!

Please tell me you're here to audition.

Yeah, yeah, heh, uh, Jacob Marley's Ghost.

Right, okay. Uh, so...

um, remember, Marley...

is a tortured soul.

-Eh... -Only in death

does he realize that he's wasted his life.

He hasn't made any connections with his fellow human beings.

He's really separated himself

from everything and everyone.

And now his ghost is bound by the chains

of his labor for eternity.

Which is why he's so, so, so miserable.

Eh-- right. Yeah, right-o!

Off you go, Harry.

Captive, bound, and double-ironed.

I wear the chain I forged in life.

I made it, link by link and yard by yard.

My spirit doomed

to wander through the world...

-I need what he's on. -Oh, Murray mints! Yeah. Oh!

And my secret stash.

Thanks, Harry!

Ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille!

Yes! Ned. Great!

-What are you doing for us? -I haven't actually

read any of the parts.

Uh, my agent says I'm too big to audition.

Speak up, we can't hear you.

Eh, what was that, Maureen?

I said you'll have to speak up, Ned.

-I can't hear you. -I'm sorry, Maureen.

Can you speak up? I can't hear you.

Gotcha.

Okay. I'm sure we can find

something for you, Ned. Thank you!

- Ned needs his own show.

Let's see what else we've got to work with.

Hmm.

What am I doing?

Look at them.

They're buzzing.

You're right, they are.

Okay, let's crack on.

We need more biscuits.

I'll go.

Thanks, Aubrey.

Marley was dead, to begin with.

There is no doubt whatever about that.

The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman,

the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner.

Scrooge signed it.

And Scrooge's name was good upon

'change for anything he chose to put his hand to.

- Old Marley-- - Hobnobs!

They're baying for Hobnobs out there.

And trust me, dark things happen when they don't get the McVities.

"Let them eat cake."

Oh. I'm sorry-- no, that's, um...

That's Marie Antoinette.

Uttered in response to the French famine of 1789.

Although its attribution is disputed.

That's--

That's why I read history, you see?

I see you've been dipping into some fiction, too.

No. Dear me, no. No, no, no.

I was just, um, sort of admiring the cover.

Never judge a book by its cover.

Take it with you, if you like.

Ahh... No.

No. No, thank you.

Um. I--

I'm off to, um-- uh...

feed the masses and quell the revolution.

Let's read that again.

Sorry, just one sec.

Sadie, have you come to audition?

Too late, yes? It's over, yes?

No, not at all. We're just having a tea break.

Come on in.

It's okay.

I've never... actually acted before.

I'd like to give it a go.

Well, there's no pressure here. You're gonna be fine.

I'll read in the other lines, okay?

Sadie's gonna read one of Scrooge's speeches for us.

Do you wanna stand up?

"I don't... make--

I don't merry make...

I don't make merry myself..."

-Can I start again? -Of course.

Take your time. There's no rush.

Go for it.

"I help to support

the prisons

and the workhouse.

They cost enough.

And those who are badly off must go there."

"Many can't go there, and many would rather die."

"If they would rather die...

they had better do it.

And... decrease the surplus population."

You did good.

Gloria.

-Did you-- -"I wish to be left alone.

...want to--

Since you ask me what I wish, that is my answer.

I don't make merry myself at Christmas

and I can't afford to make idle people merry.

I help to support the prisons and the workhouse.

They cost enough.

And those who are badly off must go there.

I've heard it said, 'Many can't go there,

and many would rather die.'

Well if they would rather die they had better do it.

And decrease the surplus population.

I live in such a world of fools

as this Merry Christmas!

Out upon merry Christmas.

If I could work my will,

every idiot who walked around with

Merry Christmas on his lips, should be boiled

with his own pudding.

And buried...

with a stake of holly through his heart.

You keep Christmas your way

and let me keep it in mine."

Bye, Holly.

Ooh, Aubrey.

Go on.

I don't usually lend this out,

'cause it was a present from my mom,

but she always said, "The greatest gift

you could give someone

is a story."

Plus, you can't be AD if you don't know the text.

Anno Domini?

Assistant Director.

Assistant D--

Oh, no, no, I couldn't.

What is it?

Gonna have to read it now, Aubs.

Be disrespectful not to.

Aubrey!

No, no, no, no. Will you sit down?

You're still recovering.

I just need... two new brushes.

And a top up of malachite green.

Christmas Carol, wonderful.

Great to see you're reading fiction.

Well, not really.

Somewhat foisted upon me.

Oh, there are worse books to be foisted upon you.

You know, Dickens was one of the greatest

social historians of his time.

Hmm.

Was he really?

- Hmm. - Hmm.

Remember to rest.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know,

of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead

about a door-nail. I might have

been inclined, myself,

to regard a coffin...

But Gloria's, like, mad better.

She's like a proper actor. She's like Robert De Niro.

Or like Amy Lee Chung.

Who's Amy Lee Chung?

From Kamikaze Christmas Cops 2.

Winston's partner, with a flamethrower.

-She drives a tank. -I just don't know

if it's the best thing for the group,

giving Gloria the part.

You saw what happened after our audition.

Everyone was intimidated. It-- it was like

there was a sense of competition, all of a sudden.

Okay, what about when the Arts lot send

someone to come and see the show?

We need to impress them, which means

we need the sharpest actor for the lead.

Yeah, but we need everyone on board.

And I just think people work better together

when there's a sense of camaraderie.

Like when Sadie was nervous.

Everyone was so encouraging and supportive.

-That's what we want. -Well, I think...

...Kugan's right.

Gloria was, by far, the best actor.

However, on the day that we met,

Ellen said that she wanted to do something fun and social,

and also that a little morale boost wouldn't hurt.

I did say that. Yeah. Well done, Mr. Memory.

Thank you. So...

if they're at their best when they're having fun,

that can only be for the good of the play.

Therefore, with that in mind,

I think we should give Sadie the lead.

Looks like we have our Scrooge.

Good luck telling De Niro.

Okay.

First thing to say is you were all fantastic.

I-- it isn't easy.

Come on, get on with it. The suspense is killing us.

All right. Well, seeing as you're so full of beans, Ned,

we think you'd be great as the Spirit of Christmas Present.

Whoa.

Um, f-- for Scrooge,

we had two brilliant auditions from Sadie and Gloria.

We all agree that either of you would be great in the role.

And this time, we've gone with Sadie

to play Scrooge.

Well done, love. That's brilliant.

Gloria, we thought your audition was so engaging.

-We'd like you-- -Waste all of our time?

Get our hopes up for nothing.

Do you really think

the stupid play's gonna save this place?

We're all gonna be turfed out after Christmas anyway.

Yes?

That was, "Yes. What is it?"

Not, "Yes. Come in."

Sorry.

Well, what is it?

I just-- I wanted to come in, and--

Well, you're in now. So?

Oh, thank you very much.

These are mine, anyway.

Hmm.

-It's off. -Mm.

Do you want one?

Patches.

Yes, sit down.

I know you could play Scrooge better than anyone.

- Go on. - We all saw it.

Just had Sadie telling me that I should give you the part.

So?

You clearly know how to cast a spell

over an audience, Gloria.

So I'd love for you to play Dickens.

And really tell this story like it's your own.

I know I could be making the wrong choice.

But if Sadie can get up there on stage

and do this,

it would do wonders for her confidence.

They might even inspire the others.

God knows we need everyone.

When I was a teacher, nine times out of ten,

my school plays were terrible.

In one Nativity, Baby Jesus locked

the three wise men in a props cupboard.

I can't remember who said it.

But "we don't stop playing because we grow old."

"We grow old because we stop playing."

George Bernard Shaw.

Is that who it was?

Irish, you see.

They have a very special way with words.

Well, regardless of whether you decide to be in the play or not,

I want you to know that your audition

was spine tingling.

It really was, Gloria.

I can't promise you we're gonna put on the best version

of A Christmas Carol that's ever been put on.

And I have no control over what the Arts Guild decide.

But I can promise you...

we're gonna give it our best shot

at saving this home.

It's dark so early now.

Yeah.

I could walk you home if you like.

No, it's all right. I don't have far to go.

That's all right. I'll walk you.

All right. Thank you.

Look... Ellen,

I know I act the fool, or whatever, sometimes,

but deep down, I'm like, a sensitive guy--

This is me.

What?

-You live here? -Yeah, me and my dad.

Oh.

So...

What's the story?

Well, my dad was the warden here

for like, 20 years.

Gave his life to this place.

I used to run around here as a toddler, believe it or not.

And then, irony of life,

he got sick and became a resident.

So I gave up teaching and stepped into his shoes,

became the warden.

Good for you.

He looks stressed.

Yeah.

It could be everyone's last Christmas here.

It's rubbish, innit?

The way society treats old people.

Yeah.

It's shameful.

Anyway, I-- I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah. Yeah. See you tomorrow.

-Kugan? -Yeah?

Thank you for walking me home.

-Shut up. -I could've got lost.

Yes, said the child.

Brimful of glee.

Home for good and all.

Home forever and ever.

Father is so much kinder than he used to be.

But home is like heaven.

He spoke so gently to me one dear night,

when I was going to bed, that I was not afraid

to ask him once more,

if you might come home.

And he said, "Yes, you should."

And sent me in a coach to bring you.

Yeah, so, you know, obviously, we wanna...

...take this whole area down, but we can't start that till

the New Year-- Hey!

You watch where you're going?

- I'm sorry. - Idiot.

- I'm sorry. - Hey.

You can't talk to him like that.

What are you doing here?

Miss Formby, isn't it?

Yeah.

Nice necklace.

I asked what you're doing here.

I'm just showing my building contractors the site.

"The site"?

It's not a building site yet.

People live here. It's their home.

Alas, not for much longer.

Get out.

-Hmm? -Get out now.

Ooh. Feisty little firecracker, isn't she?

Shall we?

-What a h-- horrible man. -Vile.

-You okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.

-Are you okay? -Yeah.

Okay.

Ah, Sadie.

-Now listen-- -I think you should play Scrooge.

Now, stop all that.

You've been cast.

Listen, Sadie,

I used to be an actress.

I got my first part when I was 19...

...and I worked on the West End for a bit.

But as I got older, the parts dried up.

But I remember... that very first opening night.

Just before the curtain went up.

I found myself paralyzed with fright.

All I knew was that there was no way I was gonna walk out

onto that stage in front of all those people,

and then...

...an angel appeared.

An Irish angel.

His name was Daniel Valdare.

-Handsome? -Sadie,

he was gorgeous.

He was playing Oberon. And I was playing Titania.

And he'd come to wish me good luck.

But he saw that I was a quivering wreck.

And then he did the sweetest,

most unexpected thing.

What did he do?

I'll show you. Come with me.

He led me to the window.

Then he said, "Look out.

Wait till I show you."

And he really made me see.

Look, that lady with her shopping bags laden down.

She can't afford the bus

'cause she's had her hours cut at work.

And she's thinking...

"Maybe I should take that extra cleaning job...

...but I barely see the kids as it is."

And what about that poor soul?

She's remembering being a little girl in Glasgow,

wondering where the years have gone.

- When she used to dance in the kitchen at Christmas,

with tinsel in her hair and pretending to be Judy Garland.

"That's the real world, Gloria."

Daniel reminded me.

"And it's awful tough.

But what we do on the stage,

it's just playing.

So go out there and have some fun."

And you know, it worked.

I went out and gave the performance of my life.

That's what we have to do.

Just play and have some fun.

And I'll help you, if you'll let me?

-On one condition. -What?

You tell me all about your theatrical adventures.

I should have been locked up for half of them.

So, um...

What did you do?

Wondered when you were gonna ask that.

So...

One night, I'm on my way home from the gym.

I cut down an alley,

and out of nowhere,

two guys charge around a corner, run past me.

A few seconds later,

three guys come around the corner and dive straight at me.

I don't know who they are, so, you know,

I protect myself.

Next thing I know, I'm in handcuffs.

Police. Plain clothes.

I got done for assaulting a police officer.

Judge said 'cause it was my first offense

he'd give me the option of community service.

So...

My word against...

three feds swearing on the Bible.

No chance.

I see.

That's him paying back society, is it?

Tea and biscuits?

No wonder this country's on its knees.

Shut up, Colin.

I'm not surprised this home is doomed.

Hello, mate. You're all right?

How is it that you know everyone?

What can I say? I-- I come through here every day.

You know, just get to know people.

Yeah, yeah, but how? Because I come through here every day,

and nobody ever says hello to me.

Do you say hello to them?

Well, of course not. I don't know them.

Just smile and say hello.

You know, nine times out of ten, they'll say hello back.

Next time you see them, they're not a stranger.

Oh, look, there's my mate Kev. What's happening, Kev?

Hey, now then, Koogs. How's tricks?

-Yeah, good man, you? -Yeah, can't complain.

Just doing a bit of renovation, get the readies in for Crimbo, you know?

Yeah.

This is my mate, Aubrey.

Aubrey, this is Kevin.

Aubrey. What a great name.

Eh, I love your hat, mate. It looks proper cozy, that.

Oh, um, I...

I got it in Boyeses.

They also stock them in blue, red,

- and gray. - Boyeses, right.

Gotta be red for me, mate. Hey, you on for footy Sunday, Koogs?

-Yeah, I'll be there. -Yeah, one man there should be

the difference, worse than a man down.

Yeah, why don't you ask Santa to bring you a

decent right foot for Christmas.

Maybe then you'll score for once.

Anyway, no rest for the

wicked. Uh, nice to meet you, Aubrey. And I'll catch you

-later, lads, yeah? -Yeah, man.

See? Now Kev's a mate.

So-- so-- so, you and Kevin both play football?

Even though you're not very good?

No, we're both decent. That was just banter.

Like jokes.

You know, if someone's good at something,

you say they're crap at it.

Did you get it?

Um, not really, no.

Like-- like, he's actually, like, a good player, but I just go like--

Okay, but why don't you just say that, though? Because that's a

- compliment-- No, 'cause it's banter.

They were in the room where young Scrooge

and the girl had last spoken.

It was very plainly furnished, but everything had been

arranged with such care and purpose

that its meaning could not be mistaken.

Some hope had been cherished there.

Some dream of what might be.

Hello!

Mr. Hopkins, how are you feeling?

Oh, good.

Um...

...I have a favor to ask.

Ah... uh--

Hello, Clarence.

Um, there's somebody that I'd like you to meet.

Aubrey tells me you're quite the craftsman.

Oh! Well...

Now, eh, the thing is, if we're going to

put on a proper show, we're going to need a proper set.

Grace? Leon.

We wondered if you'd like to join us.

All this is gone, out with the old.

You've been to the Burj Al Arab in Dubai, I take it?

-Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. -Now, you know, with their stunning atrium.

I want to do something similar here, you see?

Not if our plan works, he won't.

What?

What-- what plan?

We've got a plan?

Well, the play is the plan.

I thought it was A Christmas Carol.

Yes, Godfrey. It is A Christmas Carol, but...

Ellen says if we can put the play on, we can save the home.

How can putting on a play save the home?

Can't remember exactly.

- But it can. Ellen's sure of it. - Hmm.

Oh.

Tea?

With biscuits.

Great. Okay, let's try that section again,

a little bit more energy, maybe a bit louder.

-Louder. -"Hither come, hither, Mr. Scr--"

Um-- uh... Sorry, it's...

It's just completely wrong.

Ah, yes, okay.

-We need to-- -Ellen. You got a moment?

Yeah. Aubrey, can you take over?

Huh?

- You all right, Dad? - Hey!

- We're waiting. - Oh, no.

Um...

It's from the Arts Guild.

Oh, blimey.

I didn't think they'd reply so quickly.

Well?

Ellen.

What have they said?

They're sending Wendy Mallet.

Fear me. I am the Ghost of Christmas Future.

No, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop.

That's wrong. Again.

The correct line is, "Fear me, fear me."

All right? You say it twice, all right? And then you say,

"I am the Spirit of Christmas Future."

Not the ghost. No, no. The spirit.

Okay? So let's-- let's do it again, and this time if you could try

to remember your lines and just sort of act better.

"Act better"? Is that a direct quote from Spielberg,

or are you paraphrasing?

Why don't we take five, Aubrey?

-Take five what? -Minutes.

Oh. Yeah. Good idea, Gloria.

Let's take a five minute break, everyone.

Aubrey.

- Can I give you a little bit of advice?

When you're directing actors, you can't be too direct.

You've gotta coax them.

You know, acting's not just about learning lines.

It does take a bit of courage to get up in front of each other.

And your actors need to trust you,

and you need to trust them, actually.

Just give them simple, clear instructions,

with a bit of encouragement,

and maybe a compliment or two.

Mrs. Cratchit?

- Maureen. - Sorry.

Um...

Maureen?

Simple instructions, and then maybe...

Got it. Got it.

Um...

Okay, uh, let's go from...

"Bless your heart alive, my dear."

-And... -Oh, uh...

And I like your jumper.

Sorry?

I like the little duck.

Oh.

Thank you.

I guess he is rather sweet, isn't he?

Where did you want me to go from again?

Oh, uh, let's go from...

Uh, the top of page 21.

Yeah, there was some concern about nesting birds, apparently.

In the daylight assessment?

Those coffin dodgers, down at Willow Lodge,

think they can stop me from buying their little home.

I don't know what you're talking about, honestly.

You know I can make life very difficult for you if that happens,

don't you, Milton?

So, how come you've never been to the pub before?

Never went for after work drinks?

Dad never took you for your first pint?

Thank you.

I mean, me and my dad...

Uh-- Uh, no.

We haven't really talked much since...

So... who's Wendy Mallet?

She is the chief executive of The Arts Guild.

I thought they'd send someone local to assess us.

I didn't think they'd send the big boss up from London

on Christmas Eve.

Must take her job very seriously

Hm. Yeah. That's what I'm worried about.

So the play's gotta be banging.

Yeah, we need Wendy's approval

to get accreditation.

And we'll have to draw in a decent audience,

so that we can show that we're part of a wider community.

Maybe we could put an ad in the local paper.

Yeah, we could try.

I'm not sure an ad in the Gazette's gonna cut through

all the festive noise, though.

I can't bear the thought of losing Willow Lodge.

Mom! Look!

Napoleon!

Mom? Mom, wake up!

Mom! Wake up!

Scrooge was better than his word.

He did it all, and infinitely more.

And to Tiny Tim, who did not die,

he was a second father.

Some people laughed to see the alteration in him,

but he let them laugh.

And it was always said of him

that he knew how to keep Christmas well,

if any man alive possessed the knowledge.

May that be truly said of us, and all of us!

And so, as Tiny Tim observed,

God bless us, every one!

Ah!

Good morning!

Ellen? What's wrong?

Oh, no.

Not Mr. Form--

Whew.

I know... that the way you're feeling now...

...you might not believe me, but...

when we lose someone we love,

we don't ever...

...really, truly lose them.

We may... lose their--

their physical presence,

but their spirit stays with us.

Stays within us.

Take time to grieve, Aubrey.

But don't you disappear.

Hi, Aubrey. It's Ellen.

Just checking in to see how you're doing.

Hope you're okay. We're all getting ready for the dress rehearsal.

- It's very exciting. - You'll have to speak to my daughter. She--

She can deal with this.

Very happily, Mr. Formby, as I say.

-I-- I can't do it. -We'll have to go through the...

Right.

Miss you, mate.

Ellen,

can you come over here for a second?

- What's going on? - This is Adrian. He's from

the council, I-- I've been trying to explain--

Adrian Tanner. Health and Safety Executive.

-Right. Okay, what's-- -Do you like your residence barbecued?

-What? -This whole set,

the lighting, the electrics...

It's all potential fire hazards.

And you don't have a rear fire exit.

You do realize i-- if there was a fire here,

everybody in this backstage area would be trapped.

It's supposed to be a care home, isn't it?

Not a death trap.

That is a Section 7 violation of the

Health and Safety at Work act.

Which means... the show's canceled.

-What? -Merry Christmas.

Everyone, can you just

gather round for a moment, please?

I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

The play's been canceled.

No!

-What? -Why?

There's a health and safety issue.

Who cares about health and safety?

I know. I'm so sorry. It's the council.

Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no.

You have two new messages.

First message received December 21st at 9:55 a.m.

Hi, Aubrey. It's Ellen.

We just, um-- we wanted to

check and see how you're doing.

Everyone's getting ready for the dress rehearsal.

It's exciting.

Listen, I know it's a tricky time,

but if you can make it,

we'd love to see you.

Miss you, mate.

Next message received

December 21st at 10:20 a.m.

Hi, Aubrey. It's Ellen again.

I've got some bad news, I'm afraid.

The play's been canceled.

We're all a bit shellshocked.

I guess the care home's

shutting down for good.

We had a, um-- a health and safety check,

and we failed, 'cause we don't have,

uh, a backstage fire exit.

I've called around the whole of Yorkshire trying to sort something out, but,

oh, there's no chance at Christmas.

Kevin!

Kevin!

Kevin!

-I like your cap. -Cheers, Aubrey.

Fashion icon you.

Oh.

And your football skills leave much to be desired.

Right. I see you're getting the hang of banter.

-Um... -Yeah, j--

Just give me 30 seconds, mate.

Okay.

Jeez. I don't know, Aubrey. It's--

It's gonna be tight to get it done time-wise.

I've-- I've gotta find half a dozen lads who are willing to just

drop everything right before Christmas to try and get it done.

And then there's the cost.

You're talking north of ten grand.

You got that kind of money?

It's gonna break my heart to smash the setup.

I can't believe it.

Everyone's hard work for nothing.

Harry, have you been sharing our secret stash around again?

Go and have a look backstage.

Let's get this kicked in.

-Kevin. -Hey, all right, Koogs.

What's all this?

I, uh--

I saw Aubrey this morning. He--

He told me you lot was all up a creek without a shovel.

Uh, I mean, I think this is wonderful,

but I-- I don't know if we can afford it.

Hey. Don't worry about it.

It's already been covered.

Aubrey.

Napoleon.

Aubrey. Aubrey!

Aubrey.

Thank you.

Aubs. You absolute legend. Wow.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's your 30-minute call.

-Half an hour till the curtain. -Half an hour.

Come on.

Half an hour. Are you happy with this?

Okay, everyone... This is it.

You're all incredible.

You've worked so hard.

Now, I just want you to go out there and enjoy yourselves.

Let's make Mr. Hopkins proud.

And let's save this home.

There's a couple of the football lads.

Didn't have them down as big Dickens fans.

Hmm.

There she is.

That's Wendy Mallet.

I recognize her from the website.

Why do I feel like I'm about to be put in detention?

Wendy?

I'm Ellen Formby.

Thank you so much for coming.

Yes, well, ordinarily, I wouldn't come all this way

to see a show on Christmas Eve, but I am luckily going to

butcher my own turkey at an organic farm in Tadcaster, so, yeah.

It was a real stroke of luck, actually.

- Wow. Butchering. - Mm.

What an absolute strike of luck for us.

Yes.

Muh, muh, muh, muh, muh, muh, muh, muh.

Muh, muh, muh, muh.

Unique New York, unique New York.

Unique New York, unique-- Unique--

Oh.

Hm.

Woah! Ooh-- Ha ha!

Ooh.

That's got some kick, that has.

Sadie?

I don't think I can do this, Gloria.

Remember, don't think. It's just playing.

You can do this, Sadie.

And I'll be with you every step of the way.

Marley was dead

to begin with.

There is no doubt whatever about that.

The register of his burial was signed

by the clergyman, clerk,

the undertaker, the chief mourner.

Scrooge signed it. Oh-ho!

But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge...

A squeezing, wrenching,

grasping, scraping,

clutching, covetous, old sinner!

Hard and sharp as flint,

from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire.

The cold within...

his frozen features,

nipped his pointed nose,

straightened his gait,

made his eyes red,

and his thin lips blue,

and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice.

Bah! Humbug!

Aren't you the spirit, sir, whose coming

was foretold to me?

I am.

What and who are you?

I am the Ghost of Christmas Past

Long Past?

- We've got a problem. - No, no, no.

Your past.

Ned!

You're about to be on stage.

Where's your costume?

Kugan!

Relax.

I'm a ghost.

I'll wear ghost clothes.

This is strong stuff!

Have you had all of it?

I'm fine. Stop fussing. I'll be okay.

His cue's coming up. Does he know what to do?

Relax, Helen. I'm-- I'm fine.

I'm absolutely fine.

I'm okay to drive the school bus.

Just give me the keys.

Scrooge was taken with a fit of trembling.

And then...

a ghostly light appeared.

Hmm?

But Scrooge couldn't be sure.

Was that a light he saw?

Scrooge rubbed his eyes and looked again.

Was it a light?

Or was it his mind playing tricks?

But, wait.

A light appeared for sure.

I am the Spirit of Christmas Present.

Have you never walked forth with the younger members of my family?

Meaning, for I am very young,

my elder brother's born these later years.

He knows all the lines. How does he know the lines?

Are you ready to go forth with me?

That's beautiful.

And as Tiny Tim observed...

God bless us, every one!

Yeh-- yeh-- yeh-- yeh-- yeah!

As a huge Charles Dickens fan, I find it incredibly disappointing

when I see a production that fails to live up

to such... great expectations.

Thankfully, that was not my experience at Willow Lodge this evening.

That was, simply, one of the most enchanting

theatrical experiences I have ever seen.

This, my dear, this is what community theater is all about.

And you clearly have a wonderful sense of community here.

So, can you give us the accreditation?

I'd be delighted to.

- Dad, we did it! - No, you did it. And I'm so

blooming proud of you.

Congratulations.

Well done. Very, very well done.

Hey.

Hugo. What a shame. You missed the show.

You can't-- you can't do this. This is against health and safety--

Safety. Yeah, yeah. We had a visit

from your mate, Adrian, from the council.

He said the same thing.

So wha-- What the hell was this, then?

This, Hugo, is the Willow Lodge Community Theatre.

-And this... -Hey!

- ...is your exit. - Whoa!

Merry Christmas.

No!

Yay!

Oh, you did it!

Well done, lass.

Cheers!

Oh...

-...not everyone. -Yeah.

Aubrey.

Where you going?

- Going home. - Wendy loved it.

We're gonna be okay. We did it.

You're gonna come and celebrate with us.

It's Christmas Eve.

I know. I... really should be heading back.

Oh.

I got you this.

Well, I-- I didn't get you anything.

Don't be daft. You got me the best Christmas present

anyone could ever wish for.

A fire escape?

Yeah. A fire escape.

It's set in London and Paris,

and the lead-up to the French Revolution.

So historical, but also a great story.

Oh...

Oh, Ellen...

Thank you!

Not just for this.

F-- for everything.

Can I give you a Christmas hug?

Oh... um... I'm--

I'm not really a hugger.

I know. That's why I asked first.

Oh...

If you really want to.

You're supposed to hug me back.

Nah. Come on, you gotta share some of that with the Koogy-man.

You're a hugger now.

Thank you.

No, bro.

Thank you!

Have you got plans for tomorrow for Christmas?

I do. Well...

just the usual.

Feed the ducks and...

-...see my mom. -Well, we're having dinner with the residents.

If you wanna come, you can bring your mom.

No pressure, but you're really so welcome.

I love that guy.

Yeah, me, too.

I swear, I didn't have Kevin put that there.

I didn't. I would've-- I would've done something much better.

I would have had, like-- You know the head--

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

You don't want to end up old and alone,

with only dusty toy soldiers to keep you company.

And, of course, we'll be playing an incredible

selection of songs this Christmas morning

to get you in that festive spirit.

So pour yourself a little sherry,

grab yourself a mince pie, and settle in

for an absolute Christmas classic.

Sir Cliff Richard. This is Mason To--

Ah! I got it!

Ah!

- Aubrey is here. - Aubrey!

Oh, it's Aubrey!

Hello.

Just thought I'd pop by to wish you all a Merry Christmas.

And also, if you don't mind,

I thought I'd bring my dad along, too.

-Hi. -Hey.

Everybody...

...this is Albert.

My father.

And Dad...

...these are my friends.

Merry Christmas.