Original subtitles

Ah-ha!

Just as I suspected, a counterfeiting machine.

- Hey, boss, this is good stuff! - What?

Why, the dirty crook.

Hello. What are you two footpads doing in my room?

Now don't play the innocent with us, stranger. We're on to you.

Yeah. We know what your little machine does.

Printing the bogus, eh?

Oh, I say, that is rich.

Why, you two gentlemen actually suspect

me of being a counterfeiter?

Oh, come off it, Colonel Maverick.

Although, I must admit, that crazy machine of yours

prints some pretty good stuff.

Well, it should. It is real stuff.

"Maverick."

A Warner Brothers television production.

Well, as I said, it's been five years.

She was 14. Kind of looked like a pencil.

You got her to talk at all, she'd have a real Texas twang.

She checked in alright, sir, this afternoon.

But if she's not in her room, I'm afraid I can't help you.

I just came on duty, and I haven't seen anyone

answering the description.

Well, you'd recognize her if you saw her.

A, uh, shrinking violet. I'll need a room.

Would you please have a bellboy take my bag up to the room?

And if you happen to see Ms. Sutton arrive

tell her that I'm in the saloon.

♪ Who's gonna walk me home tonight? ♪

♪ Home tonight ♪

♪ Treat me right ♪

♪ Who's gonna walk me home tonight? ♪

♪ There's a wonderful moon ♪

♪ I'm a very cautious maiden ♪

♪ And I hate to lose my way ♪

♪ With a great big man beside me ♪

♪ I can never go astray ♪

♪ Who's gonna take me to my door? ♪

♪ Say goodnight nothing more ♪

♪ That's why I say what I said before ♪

♪ Who's gonna walk me home? ♪

♪ Don't let me walk alone ♪

♪ Who's gonna walk me home? Hm? ♪♪

- Uncle Dimple Dumpling! - But I...

If it isn't too much trouble, Uncle Dimple Dumpling

do you mind?

Uh, excuse me, gentlemen. Uh...

Uh, Jackie Sutton, it is you.

Well, of course it's me, Uncle Dimple Dumpling!

Uh, now cut that out.

I'm not your uncle. I'm your cousin.

My name is Bart, not that-that Dimple Dumpling.

- You didn't used to mind. - Yeah, well...

That was many years ago when you were a little girl.

Of course, I must admit, you're...

- Yeah, yes, haven't I? - I hardly recognized you.

You know, when I got that telegram from pappy

telling me to meet you here, I thought

for a minute that he might've joined

the Annual Whiskey Tasters' tournament again.

- Now you know different, huh? - Yeah, now I'm sure of it.

Uh, about that public singing

uh, if I remember your daddy right, he's liable

to larrup you pretty good for pullin' a stunt like that.

Yes, daddy would be mad.

- Wouldn't he? - Uh, yeah.

But it was an opportunity for me to practice

even though I didn't get paid.

- Practice? - Sure.

I'm gonna be a famous singer, Bart.

Like Jenny Lind.

I'm gonna travel all over the world

and have a thousand...

No, 5000 men at my feet.

I'll raise you ten.

- What? - I'm sorry.

That's, uh, just a reflex action.

Let's get down to business at hand.

Why did pappy send you to meet me?

All he said in his telegram was that it was very important.

Well, urgent family business.

And what is the "Urgent family business?"

- We best go to your room. - My room?

Uh, uh, what for?

- The money. - The money?

Yeah, the $10,000. I can't give it to you here.

Come on!

That's why Pappy Maverick sent me here to Kansas City.

- To give me this money? - You're to take it to Denver.

And give it to a Mr. Cannonball Clyde Bassett.

Your pappy owes him the money.

And Bassett says that if he doesn't get the money pronto

he's gonna go to Texas and blow Uncle Beauregard's head off.

Ah, pappy's all heart.

He never could refuse a request

if it was put to him the right way.

But who is this Cannonball Clyde Bassett fella?

Why do I have to bring the money to him?

Why didn't the old boy just send him a draft or telegraph it?

Well, Cannonball doesn't have a permanent address in Denver.

Uncle Beauregard said he is the sort

who had to change addresses frequently.

Well, he sounds like a solid citizen.

- How do I find him? - Well...

You're to stay at the Denver House and hang around the lobby

wearing a white carnation on your lapel

so Cannonball can identify you.

Well, pappy's in trouble. I guess I better do it.

Well, if there's one thing we Mavericks have in common

it's, uh, family stick togetherness.

[Bart] Besides, I was on my way to Denver anyway.

Well, Jackie, that's over, and I haven't had supper yet.

Would you care to join me?

Jackie, I can't wait all night for you to finish this.

So I'm gonna head down the street

and try to find me a poker game.

Hey, what time are we leaving for Denver?

Well, the train leaves at eight o'clock in the morning. We...

"We?"

Sure! I'm going with you.

Oh, no, you're not.

Now, young lady, you're going back to Texas.

I am not. I'm 19, and I can do as I please.

If you won't let me go with you, I'll, I'll go alone.

But I...

Oh, why on Earth do you wanna go to Denver?

I told you.

I wanna be a singer or an actress.

I can't stay in Kansas City and become one.

Tsk. Jackie, you got some talent. I heard you sing.

But, well, you're just too young to go traipsing off on your own.

Besides, an actress needs a lot of experience

which you haven't got.

And very important, an expensive wardrobe

a lot of fancy dresses, which you also haven't got.

After pointing these things out to you, I'm sure

you'll head back to Texas, won't you?

No.

Alright, you sleep on it.

We'll talk about it in the morning.

Did you say you were gonna play poker?

Yeah, well, a man's gotta make a living somehow.

- Well, then there's the answer. - What answer?

For my getting all those fancy clothes to become an actress.

You can win the money to buy them with.

Young lady, if you think for one minute

that I'm gonna use my poker winnings

to stake you to clothes, you better think again.

Alright, I will.

[Jackie] You can use that 10,000

your pappy sent you as a stake.

But I can't use that, pappy is sending me that money

with the complete trust and faith and understanding

that a man can only have for his kin.

Mm! That reminds me.

He told me to be sure and get a signed receipt from you

for that $10,000.

Please, sir, may I have my key?

Ms. Sutton, room 202.

You're Ms. Sutton?

What's the matter? ls my slip showing?

No, but Mr. Maverick's is.

Oh, yes, your key.

Oh, I'm so sorry!

It's quite alright. No harm done.

Five is the point. Hit the rail, please.

Seven, a loser. Next shooter, please.

Chips, please. One-hundred-dollar ones.

Here you are, miss. You also win the dice.

Now come on, bones, talk for mama.

Air from Decatur!

Eight is the point.

You seem to be familiar with this game.

Why, this game is meat and taters.

A nice old gentleman taught me to play.

Pappy Maverick from Texas.

Beauregard Maverick? He educated you?

- Yup. - That's all, folks.

Take your money, miss. The game is all over.

No more action tonight.

Hey, what's the big, fat idea?

Look, I once had a gaming house in Texas.

Beauregard Maverick rolled so many passes

I wound up working for him.

And I don't hanker to have any trust with his protege.

The game is over.

I've got to admit, Conway

it's as good as any made by Uncle Sam.

Like I said, gents, the machine makes perfect money.

- Secret process. - Yeah.

And that's what bothers me.

You got a gadget here that turns out fool-proof money.

How come you're willing to sell it?

You gents are too smart for me. But it's a logical question.

Ah...

You see before you a broken man.

For years I lived in a cold, damp attic

obsessed, but with one thought

to perfect my money machine.

And then, when success was in my grasp

my doctor told me that I had only...

Life has its tribulations, Mr. Murphy.

Uh, how long did your doctor--

I have six weeks, at the most.

So, you see, gentlemen, money means very little to me.

All I want is enough to take me back

to the home of my sainted mother.

My machine...

All those years...

I do not want that toil to have been in vain.

Oh, rest assured, sir.

Your machine will be in responsible hands.

Uh, how much did you say you wanted for it?

[Murphy] Who can put a price on a machine

that can bring you untold wealth?

Of course, I could give it to you.

However, if I did that, I don't think that

you would fully appreciate it.

I think that some token payment

say, uh, $10,000 a piece.

I will use the money to comfort my elderly mother

in her declining years.

Why not use the machine to make some money for your--

Mr. Smythe.

I'm surprised at you.

Even though the money is perfect

it would be tainted.

Would you ask a son to give his poor, aged mother tainted money?

How could you suggest such a thing?

Well, I just didn't think.

I'm sorry, Mr. Murphy.

So, you see, gentlemen, time is of the essence to me.

If you have the money, I can begin my journey.

It will be some solace to me in my final days

to know that, uh, two other persons

have shared in the fruits of my genius.

- Three! I'm buying in. - Now see here, young lady.

Whoever you are, you can't come barging in

on a private deal like this.

Now, gentlemen, I saw the machine work.

It'll make plenty for all of us.

And you'd better let me in, or I'll get the sheriff.

Besides, I have $10,000 right here for my interest.

Well, gents, it looks like the young lady

has us over a barrel.

Shall we, uh, get down to business?

J, I thought I told you to go to bed.

- Now you hush, Uncle Dimp... - Hey.

I mean, Bart. You're gonna be so proud of me.

That sounds like you decided to take my advice.

- And go back to Texas. - No.

But now I'll have the money to buy all the dresses

and costumes I'll need to become a famous actress.

- Heh-heh. - And when did you get it?

Oh, well, I haven't really gotten it yet.

- But they're making it now. - Who's making what?

Why, my partners, the ones I'm in business with.

We bought a machine for making money.

Jackie, y-you bought a machine for making money from whom?

Oh, from a poor, sick man named Murphy.

He wanted the money, so he could spend his last days

with his old mother. He's already gone.

I'm sure he has. Uh...

Just how much money did you pay...

Just where did you get it?

Oh, well, you weren't here, and--

- Pappy's $10,000? - Uh, yes.

But it's alright, I can pay it right back

as soon as my two partners crank out enough money

out of the machine.

Like I said, they're doing it now.

It isn't like I done something wrong.

"Wrong?" You're taken in by an old con game, that's all.

- The machine is a fake! - Oh, you're wrong, Bart!

- I saw the machine make money. - Sure you did.

But they set it up in advance!

They fill it with three or four real bills

but the machine doesn't print!

You'll see, and you'll be sorry.

I already am.

There are my two partners now!

I bet they're just loaded with money!

You take the south end of the street, Hal.

Six weeks to live, my foot!

[Hal] He won't have one minute to live

when I get my hands on that crook!

Ten-thousand dollars for a roll of wrapping paper!

I take it those were your two partners.

And busy making money?

I guess I fell for something, huh?

Correct.

Maybe we can have the sheriff arrest him.

Well, that's just great, then you tell the sheriff

you bought a printing machine for the purpose

of making counterfeit money.

Tsk. I guess I am pretty dumb, huh?

- Yeah. - Well, Bart, you were right.

I'm gonna go and pack

and head back for Texas.

You will not. Now you're gonna stick close to me.

You're the only one who can put the finger on this Murphy fella.

Come on, let's go.

Now back to "Maverick."

Good evening, could you tell us of a man

who's bought a ticket here recently?

Why, no. This is a charitable institution.

No, I mean, somebody in particular.

Would you tell him what Murphy looks like?

Well, there wasn't much made him stand out

except he was big and had a small mustache.

Well, there were two men took the train to Denver

a big guy and a little one.

And the big one did have a mustache.

The night train just pulled out five minutes ago.

- Did you say night train? - Yeah!

Went into service last week.

If I'd known that, I could've saved myself $10,000.

- So Murphy's gone to Denver! - Yeah.

Uh, thank you very much. Come here.

For the next week or so, you're gonna do

exactly what I tell you.

- Yes, Uncle Dim-- - Now cut that out!

When we get to Denver, you're gonna call me

Colonel Maverick. And don't you forget it.

You must have something in mind.

Yeah, I do, according to pappy

the easiest man to con is a conman.

Well, he should know.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna test his theory.

It should take a couple of days. And that's where you come in.

You'll keep Cannonball Clyde Bassett in check.

Can't have him goin' off to Texas to perforate pappy.

But what do we use for money to get to Denver?

Uh, I'll take care of that.

Hey, now don't get any ideas.

It's the last one I have. Now you stay right here.

Oh, thank you.

Do you see him in here?

- No, not here. - You keep your eyes peeled.

Well, if you do spot him, make sure he doesn't see you.

Ah, Colonel Maverick and niece.

- Welcome to the Denver House. - Thank you.

Boy, rooms 39 and 40 for the colonel and the young lady.

You know, this Denver House

is a pretty posh place, boss.

The pickin' should be easy.

It's loaded with well-heeled suckers, Louis.

I'll spend the next few days getting cozy with a few of 'em

while you, uh, build us another money machine.

And don't be in a rush about it.

Might as well enjoy the place for a few days

before we, uh, make our move.

This will be your room, Colonel Maverick

and your niece will be just down the hall.

Fine. Thank you.

Uh, Jackie, what are you doing?

What is it?

It was him, Bart. Big Ed Murphy!

Murphy? Uh, we're lucky.

- I don't think he spotted you. - What do you plan to do now?

You're gonna be busy keepin' Cannonball Clyde Bassett

out of my hair. And now you do exactly as I told you.

- Uh, son. - Oh, yes, sir?

How would you like to earn 50 easy dollars?

You just bought yourself a bellboy, sir.

That's good. First you take Ms. Sutton's bag to her room.

Then have 200 white carnations sent up here to me.

- Did you say 200? - If you think that's odd...

Wait till you go to the hardware store with me.

- Hardware store? - Uh, boy, do you want that $50?

Or would you like to stand there and just listen to me talk?

- The 50. - Good. Run the errand.

- And meet me back here. - Yes, sir.

Uh...

Now we know where Big Ed Murphy is and what he looks like.

I wish I could say the same about Cannonball Clyde Bassett.

For all I know, he may be on his way to Texas.

Won't matter. Pappy should be well on his way by now.

But how do you figure?

Pappy thinks that I paid that money

to Cannonball by this time.

No, he doesn't, I sent him a telegram from Kansas City

and told him that the money had been lost.

Jackie, do you mean to tell me

you had the gumption to tell pappy how foolish you were?

Well, I, um, didn't exactly admit to being foolish.

How is that again?

Well, I, I signed your name to the wire.

M...

Monsieur Cannonball Bassett.

You have the 10,000, yes?

No, I told you.

A messenger is bringin' it in from Texas.

This messenger, who is he?

I don't know and I don't care

as long as he's got the folding stuff.

If you do not know him and he does not know you

then how will you know he's the messenger?

He'll be wearing a white car...

Never mind. That's my business.

And my business is with you.

I cannot wait much longer, monsieur.

Two or three days at the most.

Don't worry, you'll get your money.

That's fine. When you get this order filled...

Would you give it to the boy here?

That oughta take care of it.

I want this stuff delivered to my room tonight.

One piece at a time, about 15-20 minutes apart.

- You got that? - I know what you want.

But I sure don't get it.

I'll see you later.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Could you please give me $200 in 20s?

- Uh, nice, crisp new ones. - Well, certainly, sir.

By the way, Colonel Maverick, there is

a telegram here for you.

Oh, fine. Thank you.

Ah, you shouldn't be here. Big Ed's liable to see you.

It's alright. Murphy's down the street in a saloon.

What's in the telegram, huh?

Well, what's it say?

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is

to have a thankless child."

Is that all he said?

Oh, no, he added much more.

"You are an unmitigated bird-brain.

Your stupidity has forced me to flee for my life."

And signed "Pappy."

He sent it from Arkansas.

You see what you've done by foisting all the blame on me?

Well, it was your fault.

- My fault? - Sure.

If you hadn't been so careless with the money

I couldn't have borrowed it from you.

Oh, Jackie, you just don't understand.

Oh, incidentally, did the bellboy

take care of those carnations?

He sure did. Two hundred white ones.

I'm all set to go to work in the morning.

Well, you better not fail me this time, because if you do

those carnations are liable to be displayed at my funeral.

- Me? - You.

Coming along fine, I see.

- Duck soup, boss. - Well...

I've been doing well, too.

Suckers are falling all over themselves

to buy in, but, uh

I'm gonna keep them dangling a while longer.

There he goes again.

- What? - That fellow across the hall.

Every few minutes he gets a delivery of some sort.

I didn't notice it at first but then

it began to get on my nerves.

Mm-mm.

I wonder what he's up to.

That looks fine. It couldn't be better.

Uh, Colonel Maverick, sir, what in the world are you working on

in there? I've made about a dozen deliveries now and--

Shh, shh, shh. Can you keep a secret?

Yes.

Good. So can I.

What are you gonna do with all that stuff?

I am making a trap, and I think the rat

in the room across the hall is already smelling the cheese.

Now listen, you go to your room and get some sleep.

I have a lot of work to do, child.

How come you're always callin' me child?

Because if I don't keep reminding myself

I'm liable to forget you are one.

Now you be careful on the way to your room.

I don't want Murphy to see you.

[Bart] Oh, that's fine, son.

That ought to just about do it.

Blimey, boss. What do you suppose he's up to?

I don't know, Louis. I don't know.

I almost forgot. It just came in for you, from Indiana.

[Bart] Indiana? Thank you very much.

From Uncle Beauregard?

I suppose.

"Traveling fast.

"Imagine losing $10,000

you miserable butterfingers."

That's all it says?

Isn't that enough?

You go to your room. I'll see you in the morning.

All night long it goes on.

What is that madman up to?

There. Oh, thank you for your kindness, sir.

[Jackie] Get your pretty carnations, folks. Come on.

From a poor little girl.

- How are things going? - I sold 40 already.

That's fine. That ought to keep Cannonball Clyde confused.

I'm goin' up to take a nap. I've been awake all night.

Get your pretty carnations, folks, real cheap.

From a poor little girl.

Thank you.

You have the 10,000, yes?

Yes. I-I-I mean, no.

You had better get the money soon or the deal is off.

Look, I've got to have another day or two.

That messenger from Texas should be...

There is the messenger now. The money's here. I can pay ya.

That's good. I shall wait.

Okay, baby, let's have the 10,000.

I beg your pardon?

Come off it, sister.

Let's have the cabbage. You know, the kale.

Cabbage? Kale? Are you mad?

Oh... You're not gonna take any chances, eh?

Okay, I'll identify myself.

- They call me the Cannonball-- - Merciful heavens!

- Well, ain't you from Texas? - Texas?

I, my good man, am from Boston.

But you're wearing a carnation. A white carnation.

Well, I must say

you certainly express your love for flowers

in a very peculiar manner.

So this is where they're coming from!

Oh, kind sir, would you please

buy a flower from a starving girl?

Yeah, yeah!

I'll buy 'em! I'll buy the whole mess!

Here.

- Is that enough? - Yes, sir!

Well, that settles it.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

Take it easy, boss.

He's comin' out.

Did you part that, boss? That money, you don't suppose--

Sure bears lookin' into.

Let's do it tomorrow morning. I need some sleep.

Now back to "Maverick."

- Say, friend. Just one thing. - Yes, sir?

Who's the madman you got stashed in the room across from mine?

- Room 39. - Madman, sir?

Oh, there must be some mistake.

That room is occupied by a most distinguished gentleman

a Colonel Bartholomew Maverick.

Uh, he's from Washington, D.C...

Uh-huh.

- Well, uh, colonel. - Yes?

That gentleman just going through the door, Mr. Murphy

he was inquiring about you.

Oh. Nothing unpleasant, I hope.

Well, uh, he did say something about a madman.

Uh, poor chap.

I hear him thrashing around all night.

I'm afraid he can't sleep.

May I have my key, please?

Thank you.

Hey!

Get that nosegay out of here!

Well...

That settles it!

Now we'll see what he's been up to.

God! That's a fearful-looking thing.

Uh, what do you suppose it does?

I think I know.

Louis, go over there and start turning that crank.

- Who, me, boss? - Yes, you.

Uh, oh.

Alright.

Ah-ha!

Just as I suspected, a counterfeiting machine.

Hey, boss, this is good stuff!

What?

Why, the dirty crook.

Sure, you gotta give him credit, though.

He's got a real machine here. Ours is only a fake.

Hey, let's steal it.

Hello. Now what are you two footpads doing in my room?

Now don't play the innocent with us, stranger. We're on to you.

Yeah. We know what your little machine does.

[Murphy] Printing the bogus, eh?

Oh, I say, that is rich.

Why, you two gentlemen actually suspect

me of being a counterfeiter?

Oh, come off it, Colonel Maverick.

Although, I must admit, that crazy machine of yours

prints some pretty good stuff.

Well, it should. It is real stuff.

Uh, perhaps this will clarify the situation.

What's it say, boss?

Says that Colonel Maverick is an official representative

of the United States Treasury Department.

That should clear up a few things.

And, uh, you two are to be commended.

- We are? - Well, of course.

You've proven yourselves to be alert and diligent citizens.

- Oh, yeah? - Well, looking back...

My actions would appear to be a bit suspicious.

And you acted bravely in, uh

following through on those suspicions.

I believe I owe you an explanation.

But you must keep this in strictest confidence.

- Yeah. - Oh, uh yeah, mum's the word.

Good.

The United States Treasury Department, gentlemen

has elected to build a new mint up here in Denver.

And because of the altitude and the dry air and the effluvia--

The huvia?

The effluvia

from the atmosphere.

The normal printing presses such as the ones

we use in the Washington Mint will not operate satisfactorily.

So I was sent ahead to build a small pilot model of a press

that would overcome these technical deficiencies.

Oh, I see, and so you built, uh

this here little gadget.

Right.

And I must say, gentlemen, that it works to perfection.

Naturally, it's just a small test machine

to be used temporarily until such time

as larger presses can be built.

Uh, naturally.

Immodest of me perhaps

but I am rather proud of my efforts.

You see, the status hand here turns the brookerscope

which in turn activates the capital armor

so that when you turn the crank, the paper goes through

the regacycle and the stirfirmer.

Well, gentlemen, as you can see, the simplicity

of the design of this machine is self-evident.

- Yeah. - Oh, yeah. Yeah.

The thought of dismantling it tonight is most discouraging.

Dismantling?

Oh, yes, now that the machine is working so perfectly

I'll have to go back to Washington to make my report.

I can't very well leave an official

government money press here unguarded, can I?

- I'll be gone at least a month. - Well, as, uh...

As a matter of fact, Colonel Maverick

my partner and I are here for an unlimited stay.

We'd be more than happy to guard the machine in your absence.

Well, that's very generous of you, but I'm afraid

I just could not do that, it'd be too much trouble for you

what with official requirements and all that.

What kind of requirements?

Well, the usual silly red tape.

I'd need a photograph of you to affix to a form, authorizing you

to be a custodian for government equipment.

Photograph? Ha-ha. Oh.

That's all? Well, well, that's very simple.

I have a photograph in my room across the hall.

Well, of course, then there's the necessary bond.

Uh, to show good faith, you know?

- Bond, how much? - About $12,000.

But it's just too big an imposition.

And besides, you would have to be so careful

of the key to this room.

So, you see, gentlemen, it's just a little too much to ask.

So if you'll excuse me, I'll begin work

tearing down the machine for crating.

Now, now, uh, wait a minute, uh, Colonel Maverick.

Let's not be too hasty about this.

You know, after all, as public-spirited citizens

I think that we could work something out.

Now back to "Maverick."

Beautiful.

- And they fell for it? - Hook, line and sinker.

- For $12,000! - Yup.

Gee, that means you can pay off Cannonball

and we'll have a $1 000 profit apiece.

Oh, there you go with that "we" stuff again.

Alright, I guess you earned it with that carnation-selling bit

but I'm not gonna give you your share

till you're on that train for Texas.

But, Bart, I wanna stay here and become an actress.

No chance, young lady. You're off to Texas.

Besides, a $1 000 wouldn't be enough to even get you started.

Alright.

- You win. - That's a good girl.

You go up to your room because if Murphy

spotted you now, it would ruin everything.

I have to find a printer to do

a job for me before tomorrow.

What on Earth for?

For Mr. Murphy's credentials.

You have the 10,000, monsieur?

No...

You gotta give me another day.

I'm sorry, monsieur, but I can stay here no longer.

- What? - It is regrettable.

But I must leave.

I get a hold of that Pappy Maverick--

Colonel Maverick, please, telegram

for a Colonel Maverick!

Did you say, "Maverick?"

Will you please put me down, sir?

Yes, I said, "Maverick." Colonel Maverick.

That's him coming down the stairs now.

- So you're another Maverick! - Now take it easy, friend.

I'm here to deliver the money you're waiting for.

Well, I'll-I'll be... Come on, let's have it!

There you are.

I've never been so glad to see anyone in all my life.

This money lets me into the biggest deal I've ever had!

Come here.

Here.

- Are we in business? - We are.

Professor Reynard, I want you to meet Mr. Maverick.

Eh, how do you do, professor?

You know, Maverick, I feel so good about this

I'm gonna ask the professor

to let you in on the little deal, too.

I have no objections, monsieur

provided, of course, you have the money.

Hold it, boys, what deal are you so willing to allow me to enter?

You see this little box of the professor's?

- Yeah. - Well...

You wouldn't believe it, Maverick

but this is a machine for making diamonds.

- Diamonds? - Yeah.

Fast as you can turn the crank.

Bart, a machine for making diamonds!

- Now, Jackie-- - We have $2000. Let's buy in.

Uh, gentlemen, I'm afraid your proposition doesn't interest me.

Alright, but don't say I didn't give you the chance.

- Oh, no, I won't say that. - Uh, uh...

For heaven's sake, won't you ever learn?

Now, the money-making machine is bad enough

but when you wanna fall for one that makes diamonds...

If it's a con game, how come you didn't warn Cannonball?

Because he's a big boy. He can take care of himself.

You could at least have looked at the machine.

I don't have to look at a thing like that to know it's phony.

Besides, I've got other things to worry about.

That's right, what if Big Ed Murphy

finds out your machine is a phony?

I'm not worried about him, he wouldn't dare

try to operate that till we're safely out of town.

There's a half hour before train time.

You keep an eye on my bag. I'll be back in a few minutes.

I still think we oughta check in on that diamond machine.

You stop thinking and stay right here.

- Alright. - Alright.

Oh, colonel! This just came in for you, sir.

- It's from New York. - Thank you.

What does it say? Is it from pappy?

Yeah, it's from pappy.

"I just got word of a hot poker game in Shanghai.

On my way. Bon voyage."

Glad you brought it to my attention, Colonel Maverick.

I'll keep a close eye on things while you're gone.

Government matters always receive my undivided attention.

I'll be sure to include that in my report to Washington.

Marshal, incidentally, I'd suggest you go up

and get acquainted with Mr. Murphy right away.

I'll do that. And thanks.

Don't mention it.

Colonel Maverick, that niece of yours

she asked me to give you this.

Thank you.

[Jackie] I took the 2000 and invested it

in Professor Reynard's diamond machine.

By the time you get this, I'll be on my way to California.

Love, Jackie. PS, don't be mad. Look in the package.

There are Professor Reynard's first samples.

A-are, are you alright, colonel?

I've been taken again. I'm cleaned.

I don't even have enough money to tip you.

Good thing I've already paid for those train tickets.

Oh, that's quite alright, sir.

Ms. Sutton took care of me most handsomely.

I'll just bet she did, with my money.

Oh, you better hurry up, colonel, your train

will be leaving any minute now.

Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you.

There he goes, boss.

Ah, he won't be back.

He just has time to make his train. Come on.

To the machine, for a whole month.

Uh, hold it, Louis.

Good morning, gentlemen. I'm Marshal Hodgekins.

Colonel Maverick told me of his trip to Washington

and how you two are to be custodians

of the printing machine during his absence.

Yes, well, I'm glad to hear

that Colonel Maverick is that thorough.

Pleased to make your acquaintance, marshal.

Louis Latimer.

To think this machine turns out real government currency.

Amazing. How does it work?

Well, as Colonel Maverick explained it to us

the, uh, status stand here

turns the brookerscope here, heh

which in turn activates the capital armor...

So-so that, so that when you turn the crank here

the paper goes through the regacycle

and the stirfirmer.

I think.

Uh, here-here, I'll-I'll show you.

Just watch right there, marshal, and you will see

a crisp, new $20 bill being made.

I'm watching.

I, um, guess the brookerscope must need oiling.

- Um... - Boss, we've been had.

Now back to "Maverick."

Pardon me, sir. Is this seat occupied?

Nay! Heh-heh. Take it and be welcome!

Hm.

- Thank you. Excuse me, please. - Yes, sir. Mm.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Uh, uh, uh...

Pardon. Uh, is something wrong?

Oh, no, no, nothing, except that

I've just experienced the most thorough cleaning

since Hercules tackled the Augean Stables.

- Cleaning? Oh, of course, yes. - Yeah.

It's an expression used in the game of poker, huh?

You, uh, familiar with the game of poker, sir?

Yeah, I find it a most delightful way

to pass the time. You mean here?

Oh, I feel about it exactly the way you do

but unfortunately, at the moment I'm temporarily short of funds.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, however, I just paid $2000 for these.

Oh! May I?

Oh, please.

- Magnificent color! - Uh, that's what I thought.

You would be willing to sell them?

Uh, well under the circumstances

uh, would you say $500?

A diamond, mein herr

is nature's great wonder

formed under untold heat and pressure.

The hardest material known to man.

- Five hundred. - Uh...

- And those are yours. - Mm-hmm.

You, uh, you seem to know quite a bit about diamonds.

Why not?

I'm Klaus Jonckbloet from Amsterdam.

Diamonds is my business.

Then you, uh, you probably know

how to tell whether they're genuine.

There is one very simple test.

Watch it.

Oh, no, no, no, no, that's-that's alright.

No, no, no, sir, that's fine... Uh...

You see?

Mm-hmm.

Oh sweet Mortimer's mustache!

They were real.

Uh...

♪ Who is the tall dark stranger there? Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Ridin' the trail to who-knows-where ♪

♪ Luck is his companion gamblin' is his game ♪

♪ Smooth as a handle on a gun Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Wild as a wind in Oregon blowin' up a canyon ♪

♪ Easier to tame ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell fare thee well Annabelle ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell fare thee well Annabelle ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪♪