Original subtitles

Did it ever occur to you that Girty might've dug up that money

and kept right on goin'?

I won't be forgettin' those kind words, Hatfield.

Take it easy. Did you find the suitcase?

Nah, the reason I'm late, I dug up half the countryside

to make sure it wasn't there.

Maverick lied.

You've got one more chance, Bart.

- Where's the money? - I don't know, Bonnie.

- Alright, Girty-- - Let's go!

- I thought you tied 'em up! - Well, I did!

"Maverick."

"Maverick."

Starring Jack Kelly and James Garner.

A Warner Bros. television production.

Gentlemen, this one is going to cost you.

Are you bluffing, Maverick?

Uh-huh.

You would be honest about it, of course.

Of course.

And wouldn't I be a fool to believe you.

On the other hand, I believe

you'd be just sneaky enough to be tellin' the truth.

But I think I'll just keep you honest.

I don't suppose there's a chance

you can't beat four cards to a flush.

Not a chance in the world.

Well, uh

gentlemen, thank you very much.

Bonnie, it looks like you and I are gonna have

a very inexpensive date tonight.

It looks like we have no date at all.

Because I'm broke?

Can you think of a better reason?

Uh, uh, lovely lass that.

Yup.

It is a pity she's so dishonest.

Bonnie's dishonest?

All the time you were playing

she was looking at your cards over your shoulder

and, and signaling the, the house dealer.

- Why didn't you tell me that? - Oh, for many reasons, lad.

But, uh, mostly because we hadn't been introduced.

Uh, Rafferty here.

Uh, uh, Terrance Rafferty. Uh, formerly of the Emerald Isle.

A-a-and presently the second assistant production chief

for the railroad construction gang.

And...

...someday

the potato king of the New World. Mm.

Well nice to meet you, Mr. Rafferty.

My name's Bart Maverick

past, present and future chump.

Aye, let me buy you a drink, me lad.

And I'll tell you all about the, the art of potato farming.

Uh, uh, bartender!

Uh, first I'm interested in your other reasons

for not telling me I was being cheated.

Mostly because I-I don't approve of young men gamblin'.

Or-or-or flirting with dance-hall girls.

I hope that's been a lesson dear boy.

- What'll it be? - Whiskey.

Uh, it will be no such thing. Sarsaparilla for me, friend.

- How about you? - Uh, I'll have the whiskey.

- Uh, uh, double. - But you...

Uh, temperance is-is the greatest of virtues. Yeah.

But in, but in my case, uh

there are extenuating circumstances.

Now what were we talking about?

Oh, yes, yes, I remember.

- The-the art of potato farming. - Yeah, Mr. Rafferty.

Uh, hasn't anybody around here warned you that the land

hereabouts is absolutely no good for growing potatoes?

Oh, sure they've warned me. I've been warned by everybody.

But they've all reckoned without...

...without this.

- What is it? - Sod.

Dirt, you mean?

It's a handful of magic sod

from old Ireland.

Uh, mixed with the local soil

it'll grow potatoes as big as watermelons.

Oh, really?

Timmy, how many times have I told you

that a, that a saloon is no place for a boy of your age?

Well, gee I get lonesome all by myself

over at the livery stable, Mr. Rafferty.

The-the poor lad's an orphan I do my best to take care of him

and-and teach him to toe the straight and narrow.

[Terrance] Now be off with you.

Timmy.

Yes, sir?

Here, you put that in your jeans.

- Gee! Thanks, mister. - Yeah.

But you better stay out of this saloon.

[Terrance] That was a very decent thing of you to do, Mr. Maverick

presenting the boy with your last penny.

I'm just trying to change my luck, Mr. Rafferty.

And so it has changed.

A-and I myself will see to it.

What are you driving at?

I'll get you a job in the railroad.

Thanks, but no thanks, Mr. Rafferty.

My old pappy always told me

to beware of regular employment.

It just leads to clean living.

B-but you must earn money for food.

Uh, you can't go begging in the streets.

Yeah, I guess you got a point there.

Uh if you can find an opening for me in that supply house

and it isn't too hard on the back, I--

Ah, there's nothing doing in the supply house, I'm afraid.

Ah, ah, but only this morning Mr. Simon Girty was saying

that he had room for more men in the pick-and-shovel crew.

Ah, oh, Mr. Girty, just a mo...

Oh, uh, Mr. Girty, excuse me just a moment, please.

I-I want to introduce you to... I... Just over here.

Uh, this is Mr. Maverick.

Uh, he is in desperate need for honest labor.

Oh. Let me see your hand.

It's not quite callused enough

for pick-and-shovel work, I'm afraid.

Not quite. Like fingerin' a pound of butter.

Oh, oh, oh, you mustn't mind Mr. Girty's o-outspokenness.

He-he means no harm, Bart.

And it's a foolish man who loses his temper.

I'm not angry. Heh.

In fact, I agree with everything the gentleman says.

But you'll never make your mark in life

if you give up so easily. Uh, uh...

Mr. Girty, you'll be doing yourself a great favor

i-if you employ this man.

Rafferty, ever since you signed on

you've been puttin' your nose into everyone else's department.

Now stop bein' so bossy and let me run my own life, will you?

Bossy, did he say?

And me, with the sweetest disposition

of any man this side of the River Shannon.

[Simon] All railroad hands out to the wagon!

Ah, just a moment. Just a moment, boys.

Now these fellers have just arrived.

They've been working very hard all the week

and they deserve a little motivation.

Now, relax, boys, take it easy.

I said all hands outside.

And you first, ya meddlin' old goat!

Uh...

Meddling old goat, am I? Uh...

Um, take care of that for me, Mr. Maverick, will you?

Mr. Rafferty, you said yourself, it's a foolish man

who, uh, lets his temper get the best of him.

Mm, but in my case there are extenuating circumstances.

Uh, Mr., Mr. Girty

another moment of your time, you...

You shouldn't have done that to the wee man, Girty.

Hey, take the precious bottle out there.

And, laddie, things are gonna get rough.

But you, uh, you got to get out of here.

Take me bottle to safety and

and leave the rest to me.

Oh.

Uh, d-do you want to break that precious bottle?

Now get me bottle out of all this turmoil.

Hey.

- Mr. Maverick. - Hm.

- Mr. Maverick. - Mm?

Uh...

Oh...

Ah.

Oh, Timmy, how did I get out here?

Well, after that fight was over

the bartender tossed out all the unclaimed bodies.

- Mr. Rafferty. - Well...

They dumped all the railroad workers into a wagon

and took 'em back to the construction camp.

Oh.

Hey, that's Mr. Rafferty's sod, isn't it?

Hm?

Oh, yeah, that's Mr. Rafferty's sod.

He asked me to hold it for him.

What kind of an idiot am I to take a beating like that

just for an old bottle of dirt?

Couldn't you be a little bit more gentle?

Uh, I'm sorry, sir, did I hit you?

You didn't hit Mr. Muldoon. You threw him.

- Who is Mr. Muldoon? - Such as himself.

Mr. Muldoon always refers to himself in the third party

so he can mention his own fabulous talent

without the appearance of conceit.

And 'tis happy I am to meet you, Maverick.

How do you know my name?

Sure was Mr. Muldoon there all the time

you were gabbin' with Terrance Rafferty.

I didn't see you in that saloon.

You co, you couldn't very well

see inside the bottle now.

- Could you? - What?

Aye, this bottle has been Mr. Muldoon's prison for

all these many months. But I see that puzzles you a little bit.

- Yes, slightly. - Well it's a simple fact.

Mr. Muldoon is a leprechaun.

What?

Have you never heard mention

of the word leprechaun?

I have, Mr. Rafferty says

they're magic people that live in Ireland.

Ha-ha! Now there's a bright lad.

And for freein' Mr. Muldoon

he's grantin' you five wishes.

Five? I thought it was only supposed to be three.

Three? Sure, any average leprechaun can grant you three.

Mr. Muldoon is a little bit more generous than that.

'Tis five wishes, Maverick. Think of it, five!

- What'll it be? - Hey, Mr. Muldoon.

I think you better find some nice place to sleep it off.

Oh, Mr. Muldoon never touches a drop.

In that case, I better find some nice place and sleep it off.

The only problem is, Timmy, where?

They let me bed down at the livery stable

in return for keepin' an eye on the place at night.

There's plenty of hay for two.

That's a good idea. Thanks, Timmy.

Well, Mr. Muldoon, it's been a pleasure meeting you.

- Yeah, but you don't... - Uh, see you tomorrow.

But-but...

How did he get here so fast?

Mister, we're not in the market

for magic potions or whatever it is you're selling.

So why don't you just run along?

Run along, is it?

When it's Mr. Muldoon's duty

to watch over ya until your five wishes are used up.

You know, there must be somethin'

that you have your heart set on.

Well, there is. A good night's sleep.

Don't use your wishes up so lightly, man.

Think hard before you decide.

Listen if I make a wish, then will you let me go to sleep?

- Yes, yes, yes, yes. - Alright, I want some money.

Oh, Mr. Muldoon is disappointed in you, Maverick.

'Tis the unselfish wish that always works out for the best.

Nevertheless, I still want money.

Well, then I must warn you.

To prevent unseemly greediness, only one money wish is allowed.

Fine.

Alright then, how much shall it be?

Five shillings? A 100,000 pounds? What?

I'd like to have it in dollars.

Dollars. Well, you have to specify how many.

Well, let's see, uh...

Let's say $22,409

to be exact.

$22,409.

Whoosh!

Wish granted.

Thank you very much, sir. Now may I retire?

Uh, don't you even wanna look at the money?

Where is it?

What's that thing over there?

- A feed bin. - 'Tis there.

Look here!

- A suitcase. - Open it up, open it up!

Wow! Oh, there must be a million dollars in here!

$22,409

to be exact.

Or did you ask for 509?

Mr. Muldoon's memory is not like it used to be 400 years ago.

Well, aren't you gonna count it, Mr. Maverick?

- No. - Why not?

Uh, this is a dream, Timmy

and I refuse to make a fool of myself even in a dream.

- Oh! - Am I dreaming, too?

- No! - Uh, yes.

Uh, Timmy, uh

uh, you're just part of my dream.

Well, maybe this money belongs to somebody.

And we oughta give it to the sheriff.

Mr. Muldoon has performed his duty

with characteristic dispatch and efficiency.

[Muldoon] What you do with the money now is up to you.

I'm gonna hold on to it myself for a while.

Well, maybe that's not honest.

Uh, now, Timmy, this is a dream.

Uh, this money really doesn't exist.

Then why don't you give it to the sheriff?

This is my dream, and I'll run it as I see fit.

Goodnight, all.

Now back to "Maverick."

Mm.

[Muldoon] You know, Mr. Muldoon has taken quite a fancy

to the odd headgear they wear in this country.

Would you care to trade?

- No, thanks. - Alright.

Ah! You're lookin' for the suitcase. It's right there.

I just counted to see if the right amount was there.

$22,409 to the penny.

Where's Timmy?

Uh, the, the boy knows a-a few friendly hens

who are gonna provide us with breakfast.

Oh.

Well, now that Timmy's outside I think it's time

for you and I to have a nice, long talk.

Oh, good, there's nothin' Mr. Muldoon enjoys

more than a lengthy discussion.

Sit down here. Now I wanna hear the story of your life.

Oh!

Well, uh...

Mr. Muldoon was born in Ireland 543 years ago.

At the age of eight, Mr. Muldoon was celebrated far and wide

for his honesty and his unfailing industry.

Uh, Mr. Muldoon, uh, couldn't we

just skip the first half century or so?

What I'm really interested in finding out

is how you just happened to be here in Desert Gap.

Well, Terrance Rafferty brought me over from Ireland

in that bottle. Unbeknownst to him, of course.

You see, Mr. Muldoon was sound asleep under a pebble

and Terrance Rafferty came along

scooped up a handful of dirt and, uh--

Uh, just a moment, Mr. Muldoon

could we go back a little ways now?

Do you mean to tell me that

you were asleep under a pebble?

You see, leprechauns are sometimes known as wee people.

And when they sleep, they shrink to a size

not bigger than your thumbnail.

I'll take that suitcase if you don't mind!

Who are you?

The owner of that there money.

And I've come to collect it.

Now just a moment here, young man.

Do you realize all's Mr. Muldoon has to say is one word

and that weapon is useless?

- Say it. - Huh?

- Say it! - Oh.

Gun immobilized.

Whoosh!

What's he talkin' about?

Uh, see, this gentleman happens to be a leprechaun

and, uh, he has the power to perform magic.

So if you'll just hand me that gun.

Could it be that that weapon is not of Irish manufacture

and, therefore, immune to a Gaelic spell?

Stronger efforts are needed.

- That's Mr. Muldoon's theory. - Forget it.

- Hoo-hoo-hoo! - J... Forget it.

Gun, now you're immobilized! Whoosh!

Well, we'll see if me theory works out.

If you'll be so kind as to fire at Mr. Maverick again...

Uh, please don't be so kind. Mr. Muldoon, you can't take--

- Whoosh! - It's rather...

Oh!

Why don't you try to stop him?

You know, it puzzles Mr. Muldoon why the spell didn't work.

Now, if that had been a shillelagh now

instead of the weapon that the man had in his hand...

Oh, it's a fine leprechaun I get lashed up with.

I doubt you can even do card tricks.

Well, you still have the money, haven't you?

Ah. A lot of good that's gonna do me.

What's to prevent that bandit from

coming back here with a party of his friends?

Well, would you take some advice from Mr. Muldoon?

No.

Well, now Mr. Muldoon is over 500 years older than you

and it'll do you well to listen to the voice of experience.

Fine chance I've got of keepin' you shut up.

Well, now this is me theory.

I think we should entrust the suitcase

to someone else for the time bein'

until this hallucination dies down.

- Why not the sheriff? - No, no, no, no.

The sheriff would impound the money.

There'd be a-a-a legal investigation.

That would take time, and it might be years

before you get the money free again.

Mr. Muldoon, that's, that's the first sensible remark

you've made.

You know, after travelin' so long with Terrance Rafferty

Mr. Muldoon can vouch for his character.

Uh, Timmy, give me that suitcase.

Good. You go out in there corral and get three horses.

- And get 'em saddled by the-- - Make it two.

Mr. Muldoon has traveled for 543 years

without climbing aboard one of those monsters

and I have no wish to break that record now.

Alright, Timmy, make it two!

- Hm. - Here.

You take this and get yourself some breakfast.

Oh, the leprechauns have no pang for hunger.

- Uh, alright. - Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I'll just take that for a souvenir.

[Bart] And that's the whole story.

And I don't blame you if you don't believe

a single word of it.

Why should I not believe you, lad?

Things like this had happened in Ireland all the time.

Uh, the leprechaun will grant you five wishes, you see?

[Bart] Oh, just four wishes. You see, I've already used one of 'em up.

You're a lucky man you are, Maverick.

Oh, real lucky, it isn't everybody

who gets to be shot at before breakfast.

But 'twill be a different story

when you settle down to family life.

You know, there's nothing like a hearth and a home

and a fine plump wife

performing gastronomic miracles on a kitchen stove.

I'm sure you and Mrs. Rafferty are very happy, sir.

- Yeah, I'm a bachelor, lad. - Hm?

Uh, in my case they're all extenuating circumstances.

But I've got the very girl in mind for you, Maverick.

- Me niece, Katie. - Uh, uh, Mr. Rafferty.

I'm merely interested in you finding a safe place to hide

that money until I can discover who it really belongs to.

Uh, that I can tell you, lad.

- It belongs to the railroad. - What?

You see how these serial numbers

are all in sequence?

Well, look at this list of serial numbers

that were lost in last week's payroll robbery.

Why, that bubble-headed leprechaun!

He's foisted stolen money on me.

Oh, you mustn't go maligning the wee folk, Maverick.

I'm sure if you'd have specified that you wanted unstolen money

Mr. Muldoon would've obliged.

I imagine that, uh, copies of this list are all over town.

Well maybe whoever stole that money

hid it in the livery stable.

And why would he do a thing like that, Timmy?

Hey, who owns that livery stable?

Uh, Simon Girty, uh, the boss of the pick-and-shovel gang.

Uh, the fellow I had the little, uh, discussion with last night.

He might be the one that tried to hold us up this morning.

Oh, you better make sure Mr. Girty

doesn't see that valise.

Oh, trust Terrance Rafferty to manage the family's affairs.

Oh, I'm sure you'll do a fine job.

Timmy, you stay here with Mr. Rafferty, you understand?

Okay, but I still think you oughta talk to the sheriff.

Exactly what I'm gonna do, but, uh, first I'm gonna see

our leprechaun friend.

Oh! Something I can do for you, sir?

Yes, I'm interested in one of these fancy headpieces.

Oh, might I suggest something

a little more spritely in color, sir?

That seems a little old for you.

I think it is. Maybe in another century or so.

Mr. Muldoon may pass this way again

2-300 years from now and try it on again.

I see, I think.

Now that looks like a nice one.

Oh, that's lovely, sir!

Oh, that it is.

Now wouldn't our Ban yon be jealous of that one, though?

- Walter Ban yon, the rancher? - No.

Three-eyed Ban yon, the elf.

- The what? - The elf.

Now what manner of man would be wearin'

a headpiece like that?

None that I know of. That's a lady's hat!

Bless me. Is it now?

Oh, 'tis a joke on Mr. Muldoon.

But it's not much of a joke on me.

I've better things to do with my time

than waste 'em on a prankster!

Prankster? What nonsense are you prattlin' to me, man?

You know very well that my competitor put you up to this!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

Sure, is it the custom of this strange land for the proprietor

to subject his clientele to a string of abuse

before settlin' down to the business at hand?

Business at hand? Hah!

I doubt whether you got a-a-a penny in your pocket!

Oh!

Well!

What do you think of that now? What do you say to that?

Hm. Heh-heh.

Yeah. Heh.

Well, what do you say?

Help! Help!

Sheriff! Help!

Muldoon...

Where are you, Mr. Muldoon?

Do you happen to be in your wee state, Mr. Muldoon?

Oh, stop being ridiculous, Maverick.

"Mr. Muldoon

"wait here for me.

I have gone looking for the sheriff."

Mr. Maverick, it might just interest you to know

that the sheriff's been a-lookin' for you.

[Bart] We're in jail. How come?

In all of his 543 years

Mr. Muldoon has never had such a confusin' day.

And tell me, what happened to him?

After you left to see Mr. Rafferty

Mr. Muldoon took himself over to the local haberdashery

to purchase one of those fancy headgears.

No sooner had he shown the proprietor his money

and the man went out of his mind!

Now let me try to piece this together.

Uh, the proprietor compared the bill you gave him

to a list that he had. Then he called the sheriff.

And when the sheriff got there, he asked you where you got

the bill, and you very graciously told him

you got it from your friend Maverick.

Well, you wouldn't want Mr. Muldoon

to tell a fib, would you?

Oh, no, not under any circumstances.

Say, sheriff, could I talk to you for a minute, please?

You sure can, Mr. Maverick.

In fact, you can tell me where you got

that payroll money cached at.

Uh, sheriff, uh, you, uh

you know Terrance Rafferty.

He works in the supply room

up at the construction camp.

- Yeah. - Well, he's got the money.

Rafferty is in on this thing with you?

Now, sheriff, I didn't steal the money. I said I found it.

As a matter of fact, I was on my way to tell that to you

until you two knocked me over the head in that livery stable.

That note he wrote said he was going to look for you.

Yeah.

Mr. Trask, why don't you ride out to camp there

and see what Mr. Rafferty knows about all this?

Okay.

Now, there's a reward offered

for the return of the payroll money.

And I'd like to see that you get it

providin' your story holds up.

If it don't, well, I'll get you off in about

20 years on the rock pile.

Now! Will you take Mr. Muldoon's advice now?

Mr. Muldoon, I've been...

Well!

Now back to "Maverick."

Well, it's about time you got back.

You said to talk to Rafferty

and that's what I've been trying to do.

- He's gone. - Where to?

[Trask] Nobody at the camp seems to know.

Sometime this afternoon he must have locked up the supply room.

- And taken off. - Yeah?

Will you take the advice of an older and wiser head than yours

and tell the sheriff about your suspicions of Simon Girty?

- Uh, sheriff. - Yeah.

Sheriff, you know, it's entirely possible that Simon Girty

found out that Rafferty had that valise, and then--

Hold on now! What's Simon Girty got to do with this?

Sheriff, I think that Simon Girty

was in on that original holdup.

Nonsense. Cousin Simon wouldn't do a thing like that.

- He's your cousin? - Mr. Maverick.

It appears to me that you've got yourself

in just about enough trouble

without goin' around accusing innocent people.

What gall! My own flesh and blood you're accusin'!

- Uh... - Mm.

Mr. Muldoon, do you have anymore helpful suggestions?

I've never seen the likes of you, Maverick

for a man that's worryin' and frettin' all the time.

So it is an everlastin' wonder you haven't

dropped dead of old age by this time.

Supposin' Rafferty takes all that money, goes out and buys

the biggest potato patch in the world, then what?

Ah! Hasn't Mr. Muldoon vouched for Rafferty's character?

And isn't Mr. Muldoon the keenest

judge of people in all Ireland?

We're not in Ireland, we happen to be inside

this jail cell, and I wish we were out, so we can go look

for Rafferty ourselves. Don't you unders...

What's wrong with you?

- Wish is granted. - Well, what?

You wished that you were out of jail.

And your wish has been granted.

And that's the second, by the by.

I notice we're still in the jail.

Oh. Well, these things take a moment or two.

Especially when you didn't specify the exact way

in which you told me how to be released.

Now, I've warned you time and time again, Maverick.

Alright, you two, you're free to go.

You see?

- Just a coincidence. - What is?

It... Oh, it's a, a private argument, sheriff.

Uh, look, how come you're letting us go?

Well, somebody put up your bail.

- Who? - Young woman over there.

Hi, Bart.

Why?

Who is your handsome friend?

Oh, uh, Bonnie Shay, this is Mr. Muldoon.

Sure it is a pleasure to meet a beautiful lass.

Uh, say, sheriff, could I have my gun back, please?

I ain't even gonna answer that question.

But if you so much as think about leavin' this town

you're gonna be back in that jail cell so fast

it'll make your head spin.

That's very clearly put.

Uh, uh...

Bonnie.

Uh, tell me, darlin', why did you bail me out?

What? Can't a girl do a favor for a friend?

Oh, sure, but, of course, some girls

might want something in return.

Oh, pay him no mind.

I've never seen such a man for

lookin' a gift horse in the mouth.

Not to employ that you're a gift horse--

Muldoon how would you like me to wish

that you permanently lose your power of speech?

Uh, Bonnie, I happen to know you helped that dealer

cheat me in the card game the other night.

I can't help wondering why all of a sudden

you're so anxious to do me a favor.

Just because I did cheat you.

Now Hatfield's the owner.

- I was just following orders. - Hm?

I've been so ashamed of myself ever since.

Well, this is my way of making it up to you.

What do you think?

Well?

Mr. Muldoon is not uttering a sound

until you retract that hideous statement

about wishing him to become a mute.

Oh, come on, Muldoon, it was a kind of a joke.

A joke, was it? What kind of a joke is it?

That's a threat that's so fearful

that it turns a man's bones into porridge.

Okay, okay, I'll retract it.

All I want is a simple yes or no from you. Can we trust her?

You're supposed to be a great judge of character.

Of course you can trust her, even a toddlin' child could see

that she can barely an utter a breath of harm.

Thanks.

- Thank you, Mr. Muldoon. - My pleasure, ma'am.

- Uh... - Shall we?

[Bart] What happened here?

After that free-for-all the other night

Sheriff Bundy closed the place.

The lantern's over there, Bart.

Bonnie, you're sure the owner won't mind?

[Bonnie] Hatfield doesn't mind.

Do you, Hatfield?

No, I don't mind a bit.

Nice work, Bonnie.

Even a toddlin' child couldn't read any harm in her, eh?

Could be the dry Western air has an effect

on Mr. Muldoon's sixth sense.

- What is he talkin' about? - Search me.

He carried on like that in the livery stable this morning.

I think maybe he's, uh...

That does it!

Well, let me tell you somethin', my friend.

You're about to become immobilized! Whee!

Hm, and that's only a sample of what Mr. Muldoon

is capable of when aroused.

And hereafter, the next...

- There! - Oh!

It was only shadow immobilization, it was.

T-t-t... The schemin' trickster!

Alright, that's enough, Girty.

We've got business to take care of.

Now where's the payroll money, Bart?

I, uh, don't suppose you'd believe me

if I told you I didn't know.

No, I wouldn't.

Uh, well, in that case, I won't tell you that.

Now that's sensible, because we put a lot of planning

into making this robbery come off.

[Bonnie] And we don't aim to let anybody

walk off with the first prize.

Now, listen, Bonnie, if I'd known that was your money

I never would have touched it.

You'll find a suitcase buried

at the base of Dutchman's Needle.

Oh!

'Tis a fib you're tellin', Maverick.

And Mr. Muldoon takes a dim view of tellin' fibs.

The truth of the matter is

we entrusted the suitcase to a worthy friend.

Who am I supposed to believe?

Well, if you ask me

that one's too simple-minded to be a liar.

- Oh! - Uh...

You're absolutely right, Mr. Girty.

As a matter of fact, Mr. Muldoon has never told

one lie in his entire life.

- Right, Mr. Muldoon? - Right.

Mr. Muldoon, how old are you now?

Five hundred and forty three, goin' on

five hundred and forty four.

And, sir, would you kindly tell us

how you got from Ireland to America?

In a bottle! You're aware of that.

[Hatfield] A bottle?

Oh, and what kind of a bottle?

It was an everyday ordinary chemist bottle.

Just about so big and greenish in color.

That's enough! That's enough!

Alright, Bart, you proved he's lyin'.

But that doesn't mean you're telling the truth.

Girty, get a shovel and go out to Dutchman's Needle.

We'll wait here.

Alright, Maverick, hands behind your back.

Now back to "Maverick."

He should've been back half hour ago.

Riding by night, he'll have to take it slow.

In all his 543 years

Mr. Muldoon has never been this uncomfortable.

This is a picnic compared to what it's going to be

when Girty gets back here without that suitcase.

Why'd you have to tell him a fib?

They wouldn't have believed the truth anyway.

I had to lie to him, it's the only way

we could stall for time.

Hm. Well...

Perhaps you should use one of your wishes now

to resolve this unfortunate situation.

Muldoon, every time I use one of my wishes

I seem to end up worse off than I was before.

How could you possibly be any worse off

than you are right now?

I don't know, but if anyone could manage it, you can.

It's because of you that we have all...

What's wrong?

Your hands were just in front of you.

They were not.

You were just rubbing your wrists.

Sure 'tis the truth you speak.

This is a maddening country, America.

One minute the power is there, the next it's gone.

Shh! Can you try it again?

Try it.

Concentrate.

Muldoon, concentrate.

- What do we do now? - Untie me.

Now what?

If he isn't back in 15 minutes, I'm goin' after him.

- Take it easy. - Did it ever occur to you...

[Hatfield] That Girty might've dug up that money

and kept right on goin'?

I won't be forgettin' those kind words, Hatfield.

Take it easy. Did you find the suitcase?

Nah, the reason I'm late, I dug up half the countryside

to make sure it wasn't there.

Maverick lied.

You've got one more chance, Bart.

Where's the money?

I don't know, Bonnie.

Uh, listen, uh, Muldoon was telling the truth

in the first place.

Sure he told the truth.

He's 543 years old

and he lives in a bottle.

- Alright, Girty. - Let's go!

- I thought you tied 'em up! - I did!

Oof!

Is it always like this in America?

Doesn't anybody ever sit down

and converse quietly over a cup of tea?

- You be still. - Oh.

Ooh! Um...

Never sneak up on Mr. Muldoon, boy.

Always announce yourself at a distance.

We've wasted enough time, Maverick.

[Hatfield] Come on out.

ls there a back way out of here?

There's a couple of loose boards we can squeeze through.

Ah, let's go. Come on.

Timmy, can we trust Sheriff Bundy?

Alright, now you tell Mr. Rafferty

we'll be waiting for him at the Sheriff's Office.

Now go ahead.

The Sheriff's Office, did you say?

Yeah, right now the safest place for us is back there in jail.

- But-- - Maverick!

- Come on! - Oh.

To the Sheriff's Office it is.

He's standing over there by the jail.

It's such a short dash across that street

to that beautiful, beautiful cell.

It's a 15-yard dash out in the open.

Do you know how many shots Hatfield can pump into us

in that length of time?

Mr. Muldoon doesn't know

nor does he wish to be told.

What's that?

It's a night stage coming through.

We can take cover behind that as it passes by.

Come on.

[Simon] Something I can do for you gentlemen?

What are you doing here?

Oh, just helpin' out my cousin, the sheriff.

Heard he needed more deputies so, uh, I volunteered.

Where's cousin sheriff now?

Makin' sure you don't get on

that stage that just arrived.

Left me in charge. Actually trusts me.

Now then, Maverick, you better tell me where that payroll money

is or you're gonna get shot resistin' arrest.

- Rafferty has the money. - Where is he?

I wish I knew, Girty. Uh...

- Oh, Mr. Muldoon, please. - Wish granted.

What?

Mr. Maverick enquired to the whereabouts

of Terrance Rafferty.

And Mr. Muldoon is not one

to shirk his duty.

Very likely Mr. Rafferty will be coming through

that door at any moment.

Where'd he come from?

He was on the stagecoach that just come in.

I thought maybe he could clear up

a few things for me.

Maverick and his partner were giving me some trouble

so I had to draw on 'em.

That's a fib. An outrageous fib!

Sheriff, Gird y's lying.

He was gonna shoot us down in cold blood.

Now Cousin Simon wouldn't do a thing like that.

[Bart] Well, he's got a lot of reasons.

We happen to know he was in on that robbery

with Hatfield and Bonnie Shay.

Oh, what are you talkin' about, Maverick?

Why, I hardly know Hatfield and the Shay girl.

Well then why are you so thick with them lately?

I saw you last night having dinner together with 'em.

They just happened to sit at my table, that's all.

Oh, well, I see.

Go ahead, Maverick.

Sheriff, after they stole the money, they hid it

in the livery stable, and that's where I found it.

I didn't know whose it was, so I gave it to Mr. Rafferty

for safekeeping. Didn't I, Mr. Rafferty?

You did no such thing.

Uh, the money in the suitcase, remember?

I have no notion at all as to what he's talking about.

Uh, sheriff, uh, could I have

a word with Mr. Maverick in private?

- If you please? - Why?

You know, I might be able to persuade him to

to make a clean breast of things.

- Alright, use that cell there. - Thank you.

I-it was for your own good that I lied about the money.

- Lad. - My own good?

You know what's gonna happen to me if I'm lucky?

I'll get 20 years on the rock pile.

And if I'm not lucky, I'm gonna get a shot

in the back from either Girty or Hatfield.

Uh there is, of course, a third alternative.

Oh, third alternative? I'm afraid to hear mention of it.

Ah, nonsense, man. It'll be the making of you.

Now listen, this very afternoon I received a telegram

that me niece Katie were just arrived in Humboldt City

all the way from Ireland.

So I-I locked up me supply room

and I went in the stage to fetch her.

Oh, uh, sheriff, would you be good enough

to ask the, the-the sweet creature outside

to step inside for a minute, if you please?

Yeah.

Oh, Katie will make a fine wife for you.

- She-- - What?

Mr. Rafferty, I don't wanna get married.

Now listen, you're in no position to quibble.

If you don't do what I tell ya, I'll not support your story

with the sheriff, mind you.

Ah, here's your intended now.

Hello, dear!

Pardon me.

Uh uh, Katie and I have been talking things over.

Your third wish is to be for a, a potato farm.

We'll-we'll work it together, all three of us.

Work?

Oh, it'll be a bit hard on you

in the beginning with-with all that digging.

But in a little while

your hands will cease to bleed and bruise.

And-and-and you'll learn to love the art of farming.

Bleed and bruise?

Oh, obviously it'd be worth it

because at nights you'll have

Katie to come home to.

No more of that foolish roistering

in-in, in saloons and-and gambling holes.

Mr. Rafferty, I like to roister.

Oh, I-I wouldn't let Katie hear you say that if I were you.

Do you know once she took two strong men

who'd had a, a drop too much to drink

and clapped their heads together I-like cymbals?

Both parties have worn a pledge button ever since.

[Simon] Mind if I smoke, ma'am?

Yes!

Now you've three alternatives.

Uh, to be jailed, murdered or married.

Now, which is it to be?

Now back to "Maverick."

[Bundy] Maverick.

if you'll hurry up and confess

I may be able to get you off with 15 years.

Otherwise I'm gonna have to tell the judge

to make it rough on ya.

Do you see how it is, Maverick?

Murdered.

Or married.

I-I'm quite sure the first two alternatives

uh, don't appeal to you, lad.

You can include the third one.

But, uh, you must choose one of 'em.

There is one alternative

that you've overlooked, Mr. Rafferty.

Excuse me.

[Bart] Mr. Muldoon...

- Mr. Muldoon, I wish that-- - Be careful now, Maverick.

Because you only have two wishes left.

And make sure that it's not a selfish wish

because much to your sorrow, you found out

that selfish wishes, ah, they only bring you--

- Mr. Muldoon! - Now, what'll it be?

I wish I never set eyes on you before.

But you still have one wish remainin'.

Nevertheless, I wish I never set eyes on you.

Oh.

Well, why didn't you say that in the first place?

[Muldoon] Wish granted.

[Timmy] Mr. Maverick? Mr. Maverick?

- Mr. Maverick? - Huh?

Mr. Maverick!

Are you alright, Mr. Maverick?

Mm...

Where is Mr. Muldoon?

Who?

Mr. Muldoon.

Mr. Muldoon? I don't know him.

Of course you know him. He's the leprechaun that gave us...

Ow. Ooh! Ah.

How did I get that lump on my head?

During the brawl last night, somebody clobbered ya.

You've been out cold ever since.

- Rafferty's bottle. - He oughta be here any minute.

You can give it back to him.

He went to meet his niece from Ireland

who's comin' in on the stage.

Uh, um, uh, Timmy, you tell him an emergency came up

I had to leave town.

Uh give him this bottle, please.

Feeling any better, Bart?

[Simon] He does look kind of pale, don't he?

Yeah.

Oh, ah, Mr. Maverick! Uh, come in, me dear.

Uh, this is the lovely gentleman I was talking to you about.

Uh, this is my niece, uh, Maverick.

Oh, how do you do, Mr. Maverick?

How do you do? I'm... Uh...

You're a lovely-looking girl, Katie

but I must warn you that I'm not the marrying kind.

- Have you gone daffy, lad? - Huh?

Me niece's name is Maureen

and she's been spoken for long since.

Uh, the poor fellow had a nasty crack over the head.

I am feeling much better now. Thank you, Mr. Rafferty.

So, uh you're already married.

- Is that it? - Yes.

[Bart] Well, things are looking beautiful.

Uh, uh, except for Timmy.

Timmy? Hey, what's the matter with Timmy?

I just hate to see a kid grow up all alone like that.

I wish he had a family to look after him.

Mr. Rafferty

y-your bottle, I-I dropped it.

[Timmy] I was playing with it, and it rolled off the table.

- Uh... - Eh, it's alright, boy.

Don't let a little thing like that worry your baby-head.

Me niece's husband has brought along

a fresh supply of the old sod.

Come on.

Indeed he has!

Phew!

A whole suitcase full, and it must weigh a ton.

- Matt. - Yes, darlin'?

I've been told that this sweet lad is an orphan.

Is he now?

It'll be a while before we have a family

of our own now. So what do you think?

The same as you do, darlin', as usual.

Timmy, would you like to live with us for a while?

You wouldn't have to stay if you don't like it.

Well, I-I...

Uh...

Uh, uh, what's become of me manners?

Uh, you two haven't been introduced.

Mr. Maverick, Mr. O'Grady.

How do you do?

Uh, how do you do? I...

Have we met before?

You know, your name rings a familiar bell.

Have you ever been in the county of Cork?

Uh, no, uh...

You know, an odd thing happened just now.

I-it certainly did.

No, I was referring to the way that

that Maureen took such a sudden liking to the boy.

Sure, she's always loved children.

- What's so odd about that? - Uh, no.

It was the way that it happened.

A moment before you arrived, Mr. Maverick expressed a wish

that he'd like to see the boy have a family of his own.

Then, whoosh, just like that, it's an accomplished fact.

Well, it's just like I've always said.

'Tis the unselfish wish

that always works out for the best.

♪ Who is the tall dark stranger there? Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Ridin' the trail to who-knows-where ♪

♪ Luck is his companion gamblin' is his game ♪

♪ Smooth as a handle on a gun Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Wild as the wind in Oregon blowin' up a canyon ♪

♪ Easier to tame ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell fare thee well Annabelle ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell fare thee well Annabelle ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪♪