Original subtitles

Good evening.

- Thought I heard a splash. - Yeah, I heard it too.

It must be one of those, uh, porpoises.

A porpoise in the middle of the Mississippi?

Not very likely.

That was probably a catfish jumping.

A-ha! A catfish!

Now that I think, I remember I hear a little meow.

"Maverick."

Starring, James Garner and Jack Kelly.

Produced by Warner Bros.

A Warner Bros. television production.

- Well, evening, Mr. Maverick. - Evening, Captain.

- Ah... Pretty night, ain't it? - Yeah, it's beautiful.

Having a nice time, this trip.

We get in to New Orleans early tomorrow?

Hmm, about noon.

You, uh, have a nice visit in Natchez?

Great visit. Ran into $5,000.

Surprised you ain't got a little poker going here.

Ah, I'm taking a breather tonight.

I'm glad there isn't a game on board to tempt me.

Oh, there's a game, alright. In the salon.

Foreign lady. Uh, some kind of a German noble lady.

She started Vingt-et-un.

Twenty-one? It's a lady's game.

Hmph! It's this lady's game alright.

'Cause she's bankrupting the fellas she's playing with.

- Lucky, huh? - Or smart.

But even if she's cheatin'

it might almost be a pleasure losin' to her.

She's that pretty.

Even though she is tattooed.

Hit me again, please.

Hm, reckon I'm over.

I'll stand.

Well, now let me see.

You got a ten showing, ma'am.

You got 21?

Oh, well, I declare.

I haven't even looked at my cards yet.

I'll do so this very minute.

Gentlemen, 21 . I'm afraid I have won again.

How long you gonna stand there gaping, Maverick

before you even say hello to me?

Oh well, hello, ma'am.

Well, now that is the most distant greeting

I've ever gotten from any human being.

I bet you don't have the faintest idea who I am.

Why, your face is familiar, of course.

Oh! Go on, you don't even have the slightest notion.

So, don't you pretend.

Tsk, of course, it was over ten years ago

and I was at a school with the Ursuline nuns

and you didn't play the slightest bit

of attention to me.

You and your pappy used to come to our house.

And your pappy and my pappy used to amuse themselves

playing poker and whist.

I just can't stand that tortured look on your face.

I'm gonna breakdown and tell ya.

I'm Felice de Lassignac, honey.

Oh, Felice, of course!

You'll have to excuse my bad memory.

Well, the last time I saw you, you had freckles

and of course, that school uniform

and you had black hair, I remember.

Oh, well, my husband prefers blondes

on account of his nationality.

Thor darling! This is my old friend, Bret Maverick!

Bret honey, this is my husband

the Baron Thor Von Und Zu Himmelstern.

- How do you do? - We already met on the deck.

- Briefly. - Oh!

- Isn't that a coincidence? - Which one?

Well, I meant that you two met already.

I think it means we're all gonna be big friends.

You're a baroness now.

Isn't that a scream? And we got this castle on the Rhine.

Oh, I'm awful sorry. I better be

getting back to the cards.

Bret, I got a thousand things to talk to you about

but right now, I seem to take in all these

gentlemen's money.

Twenty-one again.

I hope that don't mean I'm unlucky in love.

Are you faithful to me, Thor honey?

Until death.

Oh, well, I'm sure that's much more reassuring

than it sounds.

Bret darling.

Why don't you sit down and join us for a spell?

Maybe some of my luck will rub off on you.

Well, it's not exactly my game

but... will sit in for a hand or two.

[Bret] Stand.

[Felice] Pay 19.

[Bret] Stand.

[Felice] Pay 20.

Well, I declare, 21 again!

Are you broke, honey?

Well, I know you're much too honorable

to accept back money you lost in a fair game.

So, I've got a wonderful idea.

Why don't you meet Thor and me at the Absinthe House tomorrow

around four o'clock and I bet we can find

some way to make it up to you?

The Absinthe House?

Fine.

Place your bets, gentlemen.

There you are, sir.

Sazerac, specially on the house.

That'll be two bits.

Little strapped, sir?

I ran into a pretty girl yesterday

who took me to the cleaners and didn't even

leave me a laundry mark.

The lady's blessin'.

They do figure out ways to

worm themselves into a man's bankroll, don't they?

I don't think we've met, sir. Willie Saffron.

- Bret Maverick. - At your service.

In town now for the Mardi gras, sir?

Got yourself a gal to

make merry with?

No girl.

Well, it's more fun if you got a female companion.

I could make you a little loan of mine.

Yeah, I'm gonna be busy here them nights

and she'll be free.

Yeah, well, thank you very much

but I wouldn't wanna take advantage of your generosity.

Well, I don't mind

as long as you don't take advantage of hers.

Tsk, ah, meet her anyway. Bessie.

- Yes, Willie? - Come over here a minute.

I want you to meet a lonely friend of mine

Mr. Bret Maverick.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Sit down.

Now, he's broke and all alone in town.

- Bartender. - Yes, sir.

Cheer him up.

- Y'all alone? - Hm.

I'm every bit as lonesome as you are.

Oh, but you've got Willie.

I ain't got Willie, Mr. Maverick.

I got a promissory note called Willie Saffron

which he keeps forgettin' to sign.

How long do you think people should be engaged

before they get married?

Well, I think that depends--

Well, I've been dependin' on Willie

for the last seven years without anythin' happenin'.

Every time I ask him, "Please, Willie

let's set a positive date"

he keeps hemming and hawing, hemming and hawing.

I mean, he's the best hem-and-hawer I ever saw.

Instead of saying, "Okay, maybe Tuesday

like, Wednesday, Thurs..."

He keeps puttin' me off and gives me a hunk of jewelry.

That's pretty generous of him.

Yeah, only he don't even let me wear it.

Like that?

Yeah, but it's junk.

That's junk?

You ever seen a genuine rock that size before?

Besides, what else could he afford with his salary

except 18 carat glass?

I'm just dyin' to wear it.

But he keeps saying don't.

Oh why won't he let you wear it?

Well, he says it's show off, and it's not lady-like.

Well, I don't care if I'm lady-like or not!

All I wanna be is wife-like!

Now, is that too much to ask, Mr. Maverick?

[Willie] Mr. Maverick?

Folks in the alcove over there, they want you to join them.

Said they's friends of yours.

Thank you.

Oh, thanks for cheerin' me up.

I'm glad you're feelin' better.

Mr. Maverick, folks.

Ah, good afternoon, Herr Maverick.

Sit down, Bret honey. Get him some champagne, Thor.

We are havin' a plan whereby you can

get back all the money you lost and more.

Give him the envelope, Thor.

Open it.

That is all your losings from yesterday.

Well, I couldn't take back money

I lost in a fair game, Felice.

It's supposed to be bad luck.

Well, you're not gettin' it for nothin'.

Thor and I have a little somethin'

we want you to do for us.

And there's another $5,000

waitin' for you when you get it done.

Interested?

So long as it doesn't mean robbing a bank.

Oh, no. Just a grave.

And you don't actually have to rob it.

I mean, you just have to get permission

to remove the contents.

The contents?

Well, heavens, honey!

It's in a big bronze casket. You will never see it.

Tell him 'bout it, Thor.

How well do you remember the de Lassignac household?

Well I was pretty young when my pappy

took me visiting there.

I remember the baroness, of course

and your father Antoine de Lassignac.

He's gone to his glory.

More than ten years ago in the yellow fever epidemic.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Is that all you remember?

Well, I remember the couple of maids...

Oh, yes, there was a majordomo. He practically ran the estate.

Uh, he had an odd name...

Joe November.

Yes! Uh, he was a short man.

Oh, no, he was rather tall, really.

- Uh, he had a mustache-- - Oh, clean-shaven as a baby.

Well, anyway his name was Joe November.

[Thor] Yeah.

Well, this is the man we wish you to unbury.

He's in that bronze casket I told you about.

You want me to

disinter Joe November's remains?

Oh, heavens, Bret. Don't make it sound so shuddering.

All you have to do, dear, is go to the chief of police.

And he gives you a permit.

You take the permit to the cathedral

and they just... give you Joe.

Uh...

What about the diggers?

Oh, digging will not be necessary.

He's in the family tomb, which is above ground.

Oh, what-what do I do with him when I get him?

We sail for Europe in six days.

So, you bring the casket to our ship

the Die Graf en Bismarck.

Then we give you the other $5,000.

Tsk, sounds simple.

Why don't you do it yourself?

Oh, no. No, I could not.

It's the Franco-Prussian War, honey.

It's so recent and all.

And the French-speaking people in New Orleans

they just hate Germans

which poor Thor happens to be if you've noticed.

Yes, I noticed.

Oh, why don't you do it?

Oh, Bret honey, you suggestin' anything so morbid

as my going through all that terrible business

of getting the permit and... having poor Joe's remains

removed from the cemetery?

But $10,000?

Well, we're not exactly paupers, Bret.

Of course, if you think that's the kind of job

a woman should do...

Oh, no, no. It's not a job for a woman.

Well, why do you want Joe?

Oh, to have him near us.

When my pappy died, Joe was like another father to me.

I regarded him as a member of my family.

I insist we want him restored

at our own mausoleum in the Rhine

where it will be a comfort to her

to have him close at hand.

That's a very pretty sentiment.

Does you justice.

Then you'll do it?

Well, to the chief of police for the permit

the cathedral for Joe, and then to the boat?

Tsk, easy!

Oh, if I want to

get in touch with you, how can I reach you?

At the Saint Charles Hotel.

I'll let you know how things go.

He'll do it.

He had better.

[Bessie] I'm leaving you, Willie Saffron.

I'm sick of your empty promises!

All I ever asked you for was one tiny, little diamond

a real diamond on my left hand, third finger.

Now, honey...

You've taken the best years of my life, Willie Saffron.

And what have you given me in return?

Junk!

Happens twice a week.

She'll be back tomorrow.

Well, the course, of true love as they say.

She's a litter, ain't she?

I sure do like me a woman with spirit.

Speaking of spirits, Mr. Maverick

how'd you like to have a drink on the house?

Oh... Well, thank you. Brandy.

Here you are, sir.

[Bret] Only a real diamond would do that.

Oh, no. Ring didn't make that scratch.

That happened last Saturday night.

We had us a real rowdy-dowdy here.

A lady was chasing her gentleman friend

with a hat pin.

She scarred up the bar.

Drink up, sir. Drink right up.

Now, back to "Maverick."

Joe November. Friend of yours?

W-we've met.

I'm doing this for a girl. Well...

Well, he was like a father to her.

Mm-hm.

And you wanna get this permit to go get the casket

and take it over to the boat sailing for Europe.

Yes, sir.

What's he gonna do in Europe?

Well, not too much, I expect.

They're transferring him to a private mausoleum in Germany.

Well, if he died ten years ago

that was during the yellow fever epidemic

which means that under no circumstances

can that casket be opened on Louisiana soil.

Oh, I have no intention of opening it.

Yeah, probably ain't catch it anymore

but that's the law.

Alright, here.

You take that over to Brother Ambrose

at the Saint Louis Cathedral and he'll give him to ya.

Now, uh, how're you gonna get him to the boat, boy?

Oh, I hadn't figured that out yet.

Well, if you intend a funeral procession

I happen to have a friend that's an undertaker

and he'll do it for you real cheap and dignified.

I hadn't planned on any ceremony.

He'll furnish you with six nice carriages

for the bereaved family.

He'll give you ten professionals mourners

that'll cry their hearts out

and a four-piece band playing the latest funeral marches.

I just thought I'd use a plain horse-drawn carriage.

He'll probably throw in a couple

of wreathes at the sides.

Now, you can get the whole shebang for $50.

Oh I don't think any of this is necessary.

Uh, Joe was a simple man. H-he didn't like any fuss and--

You got to show some respect for the deceased.

Now, $40.

I think I better get over to the cathedral.

$25 and that's the rock bottom.

Ain't nobody gonna make a nickel off of it.

Well... I'll let you know.

Cheapskate.

I'll have the boys open it for you.

Boys, would you come in

and open this center one, please?

Uh, when do you plan to move it, Mr. Maverick?

Well, in a couple of days.

Well, don't forget this is Mardi gras week.

And no later than Tuesday, please.

We'll be very busy on Ash Wednesday.

I'll get him out before that.

Tsk, I remember Joe's funeral very well.

Very solemn, very beautiful.

But mark this, Mr. Maverick.

Only one mourner.

- Felice de Lassignac? - No.

She was prostrated by her father's passing

which occurred only the week before.

This was a man, I have no idea who he was.

Or for that matter, who he still is.

He still comes to mourn Joe.

Once a month regularly.

Brings flowers.

He was here only a few days ago

and brought those lilies.

It's very touching.

Very. I wish I knew who he was.

I asked him once and he made a strange reply.

He pointed to that casket and said...

..."I'm him."

Him?

I didn't pursue it any further.

I didn't want to intrude on, uh

what was obviously a deep, personal loss.

Did you know Joe November personally?

No. I saw him once years ago.

He was a tall man, wasn't he?

Oh, no, I think he was short.

Oh.

He was clean-shaven, I understand.

No. He had a small mustache.

Very perky, waxed at the ends.

Oh, dear, that's the call for vespers.

Uh, you may stay on if you like, Mr. Maverick.

Just make yourself at home.

Don't tell me somebody found out

how to take it with them.

Now, you said they want you to take that casket out

to that boat they're leavin' on?

Mm-hmm.

Tsk, but you think maybe there's some flimflam

going on, is that it?

Why didn't they do it themselves? It was mighty easy.

And another thing...

Felice described Joe one way

and Brother Ambrose described him another.

- The deceased, you mean? - Mm-hmm.

What did you say his name was?

Joe November.

Joe November...

Why, heck, I knew him!

- You did? - Sure.

Well, what-what did he look like?

Was he a short man, tall?

Clean-shaven, mustache?

No, I wouldn't say that.

Joe was kind of medium height, about five-ten.

He-he wore one of 'em beaver things, pointed.

- A goatee? - That's right.

But his upper lip was shaved.

Tsk, well, it couldn't have been three Joe Novembers.

Not likely.

Well, somebody is lying.

Somebody sure is.

You know something, Mr. Maverick?

You might be gettin' into somethin'

too hot for you to handle. Maybe you just better drop it.

Drop $5,000?

It's a lot of money.

Tsk, Willie.

You know anything about jewelry?

Bessie don't think so.

What's that?

Where'd you get it?

Found it on the floor of the mausoleum

right next to Joe's casket.

Really?

Give you five bucks for it.

Then it's a fake?

Well, I'd be stealing it from you at that price.

Cost me about $10 at a dry goods store.

But Bessie might like it.

Hello Bessie honey.

I told ya.

Oh, I'm glad to see you made up.

Well, we ain't exactly made up.

We just started from where we left off.

You know, I...

I could be worrying about nothin'.

If I could just find a picture of Joe November.

You think they'd have a picture of him

out at the old De Lassignac Mansion?

I don't think so.

You know, they made a, sort of, a museum out of it.

I don't think they'd keep a picture

of one of the servants around.

Probably not.

You know, Willie?

Felice recognized me right off...

...but it took me some time to remember her.

Can a girl get rid of her freckles?

Sure, easy!

You have a pharmacy, they got tons of them creams

and that stuff just for that purpose.

Yeah, and she can also change her hair

from black to blonde.

Bessie's changed hers so many times

she's even got her roots puzzled.

Tsk, oh, I guess I'm imagining things.

- Bartender. - Yes, sir! Coming right up!

Hold on to that, Mr. Maverick.

I'll give ya eight bucks for it when I get back.

Phew...

Now, back to "Maverick."

Good morning.

Well, you're early, aren't you, sir?

We're just opening for the day.

Well, I was pretty anxious to see the place.

I heard so much about it.

Well, thank you. Won't you come in?

Is there any part of the house

that you're particularly interested in seeing?

The drawing rooms? The medieval weapons room?

We have a fine collection of weapons

from the Middle Ages.

Oh, do you have a picture gallery?

A magnificent one.

This way, please.

Is there anyone in particular you're looking for?

Well, yes.

Uh, there was a majordomo

who worked here about ten years ago.

Well, it's very unlikely his portrait would be in here.

Yeah, probably not.

You wouldn't happen to have known him?

His name was Joe November.

The name's familiar. Joe November.

Uh, being a recent employee here, I never met him.

Oh. Well, you wouldn't know what he looked like

uh, tall, short, clean-shaven, mustached?

Wasn't he a Chinese?

Uh, Chinese?

No, he wasn't.

He was short and dark and had a mustache.

Hello, Bret.

Dark hair, freckles. Aren't you Felice de Lassignac?

Why the surprise?

Have I changed so much in ten years?

Except that you've grown more beautiful, not a bit.

When I was a school girl

I was quite smitten with you, Bret Maverick.

Uh, papa let you play in a poker game one night.

Oh, I remember. That was my initiation.

Ah-ha. You won.

And in your hurry to collect, you dropped a single chip.

I found it.

And I used to keep it under my pillow

in the hopes of dreaming that you'd kiss me.

I never knew that.

Oh, well, I-I'm quite over you now, but, uh...

...I do think you owe me a dream.

Now, why're you looking for Joe November's picture?

Oh, yes.

Where can we talk?

Um, uh, that'll be all, thank you.

Um, let's go into the weapons room.

Felice, if this place is a museum

what are you doing here, visiting?

I live here.

The authorities were kind enough

to let me occupy the top floor.

- In your own house?! - It's not my house.

Papa gave it to the city of New Orleans.

I'm-I'm very poor now, Bret.

Your father was the richest man in Louisiana.

Hmm. That was my understanding too

but when he died, there was nothing left.

Felice.

Who do you know that's...

...young, about your age, blonde

good-looking, who seems to know an awful lot about your family?

- Oh, could be Felice. - Who?

Uh, Felice Schmidt. She's half-German.

She used to be a parlor maid here.

And she has a German eagle tattooed on her right arm?

I heard about that.

During the war between Prussia and France

she was caught spying for the Germans.

A band of French patriots captured her

and, uh, put a tattoo on her arm

to brand her as a traitor.

Oh, poor girl.

Uh, do you know what she's doing now?

Yes, she's calling herself Felice de Lassignac.

B-but why?

Oh, she probably likes the name

or what goes with it.

When did Joe November die?

Oh, a week after papa.

He-he's in the family mausoleum.

Yes, I know.

I've been taking flowers to him

and he's been very grateful in return.

Have you ever seen this?

W-W-Where did you get it?

I'll tell you in a minute. Have you seen it before?

Mm-hmm.

Mm... Papa wanted to give it to mama

but, uh, he-he couldn't.

It was part of the collateral from the Emperor of France.

It's supposed to be the queen's necklace

that Dumas wrote about.

The one that cost Mary Antoinette her head.

Oh, what collateral are you talking about?

Papa told me to keep it a secret, but...

...I don't suppose it matters now.

My father loaned Louis Napoleon

one hundred million francs.

His regime was being threatened and he needed money.

He gave papa a fabulous collection of jewels

to hold until he could pay back the loan.

But then...

...papa died.

The household was in a turmoil.

Joe took over and-and then he died.

And the jewels just simply disappeared.

No one has seen them since.

They have now.

How would you like to have them back?

Do you know where they are?

Uh, tomorrow night, say?

W-well, if I had them back, I'd no longer be a pauper.

And day after tomorrow, Felice

you will be a very rich woman.

Oh! Oh, Bret...

[Thor] Oh, excuse me, Herr Maverick...

...but I watched you enter this, uh, museum a while ago

and since we have not heard from you in several days

I thought I would follow you.

Took me a while to locate this room.

I've been very busy.

Oh!

This is, uh, little errand we sent you on?

Uh, the errand, yes.

And you have been successful?

Very successful.

My wife and I would be interested

in hearing about your success.

Perhaps you would honor us with a visit.

Tonight.

Alright, tonight.

Excellent. We will await you.

Oh, young lady, I wanna thank you

for being so kind in showing me this sword.

It's a very interesting specimen.

I'd say about 12th century?

Oh, much earlier.

It's, uh, reputed to have belonged

to one of the knights of the Round Table.

[Bret] Maybe even Sir Lancelot's.

Amazing.

[Felice] Uh, we-we never did find anything of Sir Galahad's.

- It's... - Oh...

Don't you think you should

put Queen Guinevere's necklace away?

It's probably a very valuable relic.

[Felice gasps] Oh-oh, no, this is only a copy.

Um, King Arthur, uh, pawned the real one

to finance The-The Crusades.

Very obliging, the help here at the museum.

Oh, very.

We got rid of him rather neatly, didn't we, Bret?

I wonder.

Well, Felice, your history is little shaky.

King Arthur died 500 years

before The Crusades even started.

Let's just hope the baron read the same history book you did.

King Arthur.

Lancelot! Guinevere!

All legendary people that probably never even existed.

And The Crusades...

Will you tell me, please

how does a man, who never lived, go to Crusades

which happens 500 years after he's dead?

That is real odd, honey.

That Maverick is up to something.

That necklace didn't look like a fake to me.

Is there any way he could have gotten the casket?

I wouldn't know. Joe handled that part of it.

And I don't trust your Joe November.

How do we know that he really put the jewels in the casket?

He had no other place to put 'em, honey.

The hospital certified him as dead

and then, when he recovered

while they were all so flustered by the epidemic

they just forgot to uncertify him.

Yes, but how did he know about the jewels in the first place?

The old man De Lassignac had confided in him.

Then when Joe wanted to get

the jewels out of the country, just like we're doing

he had them put in the casket and taken to the crypt.

It was a real sad funeral.

Joe cried all the way to the mausoleum.

What was he so unhappy about?

The casket was supposed to contain a yellow fever victim.

They wouldn't let it out of the country.

- Who wouldn't cry? - I suppose so.

But I think he's much too tricky!

And as a matter of fact...

...so are you.

Can you give me one good reason

why I should trust you, liebchen?

Don't forget, honey.

I know what happened to that fella on the steamboat.

And don't you forget, my dear heart

the same thing can happen on dry land.

Ah, Herr Maverick. We were just talking about you.

Saying complimentary things, I hope.

Is there something else one could say about you?

Not if you're honest about it.

Hello, Baroness.

Well, I got my permit.

And I've arranged for transferring the casket.

But it'll have to wait until day after tomorrow.

Why wait?

Well, for one thing, that's when your boat sails.

For another, red tape.

What is this, um, red tape?

Oh, that's government forms and regulations.

You see, today is the last day of Mardi gras

and tomorrow is the first day of Lent.

We just can't bother

a cathedral on a day like that.

Then why not get the casket tonight?

Uh, but how will I get it on the boat?

Bring the casket to the hotel.

The baroness and I will arrange the rest.

Oh, well, I think it'd be better if we--

I think it'd be better if you did as you are told!

And then, you get your $5,000 quicker.

Yeah.

How long will it take you to bring it here?

Well, now let's see... I'll have to go pick up a cart

then go over to the cathedral.

Uh... Won't be easy

pushing a coffin through crowds like these.

But it won't be hard either.

Because the merrymakers often hold mock funerals

to bury their old sins. You can pretend to do the same.

And then, if you put on a costume

nobody'll pay the least bit of attention to ya.

Thor doll, where's that funny nose

the hotel sent up for your costume?

Wunderbar! Just the thing!

Yes!

This could be just the thing. Let me see now. Ah-ha!

- Here it is. - Try it on, Bret.

[Thor] So, you're now one of the merrymakers.

- Ha! - Ha.

And we will expect you back here

in not more than two hours.

I am still suspicious of that man.

Are you gonna follow him?

- Naturlich. - What for?

To see that everything goes according to plan.

Uh, Thor honey

don't you think it would be nice if I came with you?

You mean, you don't trust me, liebchen?

Well, I mean, I trust you just as much as you trust me.

In other words, not a bit.

Ah...

Now, back to "Maverick."

A hand cart! Is that the best you could get, Mr. Maverick?

On such short notice.

You're taking it directly to the boat?

Oh, no. first to the De Lassignac house.

Felice wanted to pay him her last respects.

Thank you.

That'll be all. And thank you very much.

- Oh, it's you. - Hello, Brother.

Thought I'd pay my monthly visit to Joe.

Thought I'd leave him these lilies.

He's gone.

- What? - Gone.

- When? - Just a minute ago.

A friend of his came by with a police permit

and picked up the casket.

Was he a tall man with a German accent, wearing monocle?

No monocle, no German accent. It was a Mr. Maverick.

Maverick!

- Where's he takin' him? - Well...

To a boat, eventually.

But first, he's stopping by the--

- What was that? - Oh that's, uh...

...part of my costume.

Oh, I see.

Well, Mr. Maverick couldn't have gotten very far.

He went in that direction.

Perhaps, if you followed directly

you might catch him.

Yeah, thanks.

Ow...

Oh, excuse me.

- Hi, Willie! - Hi, Bessie honey!

We goin' to a wedding or a funeral?

Neither, right now.

Look what I've brung you!

Well, you said to meet you here.

We'd talk about setting a date.

Bessie, you got a one track mind.

All you can think about is getting hitched.

Now, I've got a little job to do

before we talk about that.

Every time I try to pin you down

you unpin yourself with some slick excuse!

Now, I'm getting fed up with you, Willie Saffron!

I'm getting fed up!

Did you bring a bag like I told you?

- Yeah. - Well, open it up.

Now...

...I want you to take these up to your... room

and hide 'em till I come get 'em.

Hide 'em?! Is this stuff real?

Of course not, honey! It's costume jewelry

like that ring I gave you.

And why do you want me to hide fake jewels for?

I got my reason.

You got a reason too for not settin' our weddin' date?

I sure has.

Just as long as you keep askin'

that's how long it's gonna be before I tell you!

And that's the last time I'm gonna ask you too!

Mr. Lassignac is expecting us.

- What... - Give me a hand.

You say Mademoiselle de Lassignac

is expecting you?!

That's right.

Does Mademoiselle de Lassignac expect that casket?

It's hers. You just bring her here.

So, Herr Maverick...

...did you lose the address of the hotel?

Huh?

Oh! Police! Police!

- Felice... - Felice.

Oh... Police! Police!

So, would cheat us, eh, Herr Maverick?

You are like all the others...

Joe November, the false Felice

who is perhaps your partner in this scheme, ha?

[Felice] That's not a bad idea.

How about being my partner, Bret honey?

liebchen...

There is enough in that casket for both of us.

What's goin' on in here?

This man's dead.

Now, who did it? You?

Well, I have to be honest with you, captain. She did.

Rick, take her down to station house.

Johnny, get on the door.

See that nobody comes in or out.

You... You're the cheapskate

that wouldn't spend $25 to plant his best friend.

Is that him?

Well, that's the push-cart

that I've been pushing all over town.

You been pushing that dead man

through the streets of the city?

Why, that's a violation of Statute 487, Section 32.

What's that?

Operatin' a push-cart without a license.

Oh, come on, captain. That's not really a push-cart.

And there's not really a body in there either.

You know what's in there?

Jewels are in there

that Louis Napoleon gave Antoine De Lassignac

in repayment for a loan.

Hmm-hmm-hmm!

Alright, look for yourself.

Go on!

[Bret] Willie!

[Felice] Why, it's Joe November!

[Bret] That's Joe November?!

- Hey, where are the jewels? - Bessie took 'em.

You know, I never would have suspected that girl.

- She ain't honest. - Now, who are you?

Well, right now, I'm Willie Saffron

but uh, I used to be Joe November.

You told me that Joe November was dead.

Oh, I thought he was.

Oh, there's something mighty strange goin' on here.

You violated Statute 964, Code 38, Section 85.

And you're under arrest.

For what?

For committing the gravest crime on the calendar.

Uh, operating a push-cart?

No, for impersonating a corpse.

Now, back to "Maverick."

The whole caboodle is yours for $50.

- Where did you get these? - From my boyfriend.

My ex-boyfriend, that is.

He's a junk dealer.

Alright, $40?

I think you'd better explain to the police

where you got these fabulous jewels.

Police?

I told you where I got 'em!

Last night of the Mardi gras.

Instead of being out there helping to paint the town red

I got to be here with a bunch of shady characters.

Oh, come on now, captain.

I think you're taking all this too hard.

None of us here are actually criminals.

The, uh husband killer.

Oh, he wasn't my husband.

He was only a business acquaintance.

But you did kill him!

Well, he already killed somebody

on the steam-boat.

Anyway, I did it to save Maverick's life.

Well, now, the department gives out medals

for saving peoples lives.

And I'm going to see that you get yours

in jail.

And you! You...

You living corpse, what you got to say for yourself?

Well, I didn't exactly plan it that way, captain.

You see, the part was, kind of, forced on me.

- But you did steal the jewels. - Well, I--

[Felice] If I don't file a complaint

well, you can't charge him.

And now that I have them back

well, I don't think anybody should suffer.

- Aww... - Alright, alright.

Bessie honey, how about tomorrow?

Around noon, city hall?

Oh, Willie! Oh!

Y'all are invited to the wedding!

Well, I guess that just about takes care of everything.

Shall we all go out and join the Mardi gras?

Unless you wanted to keep her here with you, captain.

Well, do you promise to be here first thing in the morning

to have your case reviewed?

On my honor!

- Well, then, let's go! - Hold it boy.

You're forgetting Section 487, Code 38.

Oh, you mean, operatin' a push-cart?

The fine is $50.

Could have had a first-class funeral for half that.

Now, just a moment.

Now, this is just to make sure

that you're gonna be here in the morning.

It hurt none. It's so much cozier that way.

Goin' back to Natchez, huh, Mr. Maverick?

Yeah, I got to recoup my losses.

There's a game of red dog in the salon.

Why don't you join it?

That's not my game.

Bein' run by a female.

Beautiful gal.

Even though she is wearing a purple wig.

♪ Who is the tall dark stranger there ♪

♪ Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Ridin' the trail to who knows where ♪

♪ Luck is his companion ♪

♪ Gamblin' is his game ♪

♪ Smooth as the handle on a gun ♪

♪ Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Wild as the wind in Oregon ♪

♪ Blowin' up a canyon ♪

♪ Easier to tame ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell! ♪

♪ Fare thee well Annabel! ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans ♪

♪ Livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell! ♪

♪ Fare thee well Annabel! ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans ♪

♪ Livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West! ♪♪

This has been an ABC Television Network presentation.