Original subtitles

What are you trying to do?

Uh, the tide's out, ma'am.

You couldn't drown in that Sacramento mud

if you had a cannonball under each arm.

Oh, don't cry.

Please. Oh.

Here.

That, that's better.

Now, what brought you to this? Men?

No, sir.

Cats.

Cats?

Miss, uh...

Modesty Blaine.

Bret Maverick.

Can I take you home?

I don't have a home.

Well, now there is a coincidence. Neither have I.

Suppose we discuss the cold world over a hot cup of coffee.

"Maverick."

Starring James Garner and Jack Kelly.

Produced by Warner Bros.

A Warner Bros. television production.

There now, isn't that better?

You're so kind, Mr. Maverick.

[Modesty] So strong.

We're all strong enough, ma'am

to bear the misfortunes of others.

Now tell me the worst.

You said something out there about cats?

That's right.

Only I hadn't even bought the cats.

Two men held me up tonight and took every penny I had.

Five-hundred dollars.

You were planning on buying $500 worth of cat?

That's right. That's why I sold my gold claim in Paradise.

They need cats in Paradise, Mr. Maverick.

[Modesty] Need them desperately.

To join the heavenly chorus? Heh.

No, silly. Paradise is a small mining town.

And they're having terrible trouble with rats.

Some of them are probably friends of mine.

[Modesty] Heh. No, these are real rats.

And mice, too. Oh, they're the worst.

Like, in so many camps.

The little creatures multiply themselves in the mine tunnels.

They infest the poor miners' cabins

and they're robbing the storekeepers blind.

What, haven't they heard of traps or poison?

Oh, these mice thrive on poison

and they laugh at traps.

Cats, Mr. Maverick. That's the only weapon.

For a prime mouser in Paradise, a, a girl could get $50.

Fifty dollars for a little-old house cat?

More for a mean-old snarly cat.

Well, how many souls are there in Paradise?

That need cats, I mean.

Ooh, about 200 cabins. That's 200 cats.

Two-two hundred...

Well, that's a, a fortune.

Yes, it is.

That's why I risked every penny I had in the world.

Oh, I-I know I was greedy.

A girl could be happy on half as much.

So could a boy, Ms. Blaine.

[Modesty] What's this?

Oh!

A $1 000 bill.

That's every penny I have in the world.

It is now the working capital of

the Consolidated Cat Corporation.

My!

A $1 000 bill.

[Modesty] "'Tom cats wanted.'

"'The persons below will pay two dollars'

"per cat delivered to Hanrahan's stable.

Bret Maverick and Modesty Blaine."

- But why only boy cats? - Well, they travel smoother.

I thought they always fought.

- Only in mixed company. - Oh, I almost forgot.

- No black cats. - Why, the mice superstitious?

No, but the sheriff of Paradise

is superstitious about black cats

and walking under ladders, things like that.

Oh, he'd be very angry at us.

And there's no profit in punctured cats.

Uh, quick on the trigger, is he?

Quicker than a cat.

No black cats.

[Bret] You did a good job, Mr. Hanrahan.

- Yeah. - And I thank you kindly.

Yes, sir. Uh, much obliged, much obliged.

Uh, say, Maverick.

Of course I'm not a nosy man, you know?

But do you mean to stand there barefaced

and tell me that you're going up into the mountains

with 200 of them screamin' felines in that thing?

Barefaced, Mr. Hanrahan.

I'd rather shave the devil with a toothache.

Well, I got a pretty girl to ride with me.

- Oh. - My partner.

Alright. Uh...

Smells like a swamp with the sun on it.

- Smoked catfish. - Mm.

Nobody but a woman that could make a man this foolish.

- Kitty, kitty, kitty. - Oh, I got customers comin'.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

- Hey, what's that? - Catnip, of course.

Of course, catnip. We take every precaution.

- You Mr. Maverick? - That's right, son.

- Two dollars a cat? - That's right.

It's him.

Hey, two dollars for a cat?

Two dollars is fair price, wouldn't you say?

I'm glad I got my money first.

Alright, boys. Now you step up.

Give the lady your cat and I give you your two dollars.

- There you are. - Thank you.

They're all boy cats, aren't they?

- Ah, you got four. - Oh, oh...

[Bret] There four dollars. Keep 'em in the family.

That's right, there's two for you.

You ever notice how nice the evening smells

when there's money in the air?

Oh, Mr. Maverick.

You've opened up a whole new life for me.

- Bright and full of promise. - Well, good.

You run over to the boarding house and pack your bag.

We're almost on our way.

Oh, I hate to mention it, but I do owe them $20.

Uh, here, you take 30.

And bring back a bottle of wine. We'll have one for the road.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Maverick.

Bret.

Thanks, partner.

Oh, Mr. Maverick, Bret

I reckon I have known men like you.

But they were in books.

And they clanked in armor and ate at round tables.

Evening, little lady.

But haven't you come to the wrong place?

Oh, I hope not.

Uh, I-I have $20 and...

Well, I-I'd like a man disposed of.

Well, now, would you like both his legs broke

or have his body thrown in the river?

Well, I-I'm not quite sure.

- Which is cheaper? - Oh, money, huh?

See, maybe the two of us can both make a few dollars.

The sailing masters in San Francisco

are pleading for help.

Seems like when their sailor men hit these golden shores

they lose their taste for the sea.

A good strong body brings $40.

And he gets a nice slow voyage to Singapore

under healthy ocean breezes.

You can do all that for $20?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

You pay me the 20

and when the men pick him up from you, they pay you 40.

I make money, you make money.

And a lost soul gets a chance at a new life.

Well, I must say, sir.

You're a most understanding man.

Oh, but he's sly, this one, and powerful.

I think he might need a mild sedative.

Uh-huh. Oh, oh, yes...

Grandma Odese back at my boarding house

just insisted on fixing us a supper

and put in a bottle of her blackberry tonic.

Oh, I'll pour it.

You just sit at the round table

and let me wait on you.

My, it's a lovely bright night isn't it?

Oh, it's a perfect night for cat travel.

Moon shinin' through the trees.

Balmy air.

[Bret] Regular spoonin' weather, you might say.

You might say.

If I didn't, ma'am, I wouldn't be

your clanking knight in armor.

Here, this may help you to clank.

To the prettiest partner a man ever had.

Grandma Odese really mixes a tonic.

Oh, little of this and little of that.

Wonder how she got so many tigers

in one bottle.

Now back to "Maverick."

It's His Nibs. The duke of Sacramento.

Who are you?

And what's that sound out there?

That's California's Golden Gate, lad

creakin' in the cold fog.

I'm in San Francisco?

Look friend, there's been some mistake.

No mistake. A man can't pick a happier life than the sea.

Now, just sign on this line.

- What is it? - Well, just sign it.

Ship's articles. Every crewman signed it.

- Shanghai? - No, Singapore.

You're bound west for Singapore

on the Island Trader. Captain Puget commanding.

You're gonna make your fortune in the land of spice.

Oh, well, I never turn down money, your honor

but, well, I've sort of made my fortune in a land of mice.

- Careful, bucko. - No, I'm serious!

Uh, you've made a bad choice, captain.

I'm no sailor. I'm a businessman.

- In what line? - Right now I'm in cats.

Cats, is it?

Ever meet one with nine tails, bucko, me lad?

Hey, he is pretty funny, captain.

He must keep your crew in stitches all the time, huh?

Listen, my fancy friend.

We paid $40 for you.

For $40 we're going to get sweat or blood.

Makes no difference which one. Now, sign the paper.

Oh, I'm not signin' anythin'.

How many lashes, captain?

One cut for every puff of smoke.

Will you sign?

I'm considerin' it.

Oh!

Ah!

[Bret] What's your shipper, matey?

Don't know. Some blood boat bound for Singapore.

Captain, uh, Puget commanding?

- That's her. - Oh, good.

I got a man for you here.

- Is he breathin'? - Of course he is.

He's perfect specimen. Sunny disposition.

Never tie him out.

- Thirty-five dollars. - Fifty?

- Forty. - It's a deal.

Take him out by the heels.

- Thanks for the business. - Oh, think nothin' of it.

Tell him the duke said to write when he gets the chance.

Ah, now that's mighty fine. Got some. Gee, you got there...

Look at that. We got more, folks. We got more.

Alright. What have we got here? Oh!

Look at this. A brown and white.

- Oh, yes, that's a fine cat. - A real rat-catcher.

Aren't you? They're going fast, folks.

There aren't many of these beautiful animals left.

What's that you say, madam? Look at this. Look at this.

isn't this a marvelous cat? This is so wonderful.

Ah, real rat-killer, folks. A real ra... What I hear?

Fifty dollars? Fifty dollars? Anybody else?

- Fifty five. - Fifty-five dollars.

Who else? Who else is on that?

Sixty dollars. Seventy-five dollars.

- Well, I... This... - Hi, sheriff.

This superb part Angora sold for $75.

Alright, my friends, how about...

You are the sheriff?

- Heh. - What do you want?

Well, sheriff, I have a rather delicate job for you.

I'm a victim of fraud and perfidy

mayhem, kidnapping and misappropriation of funds.

Well, supposin' you point out the guilty party?

- ...for a $75. Do I have 60? - Right over there.

Ah, thank you, madam. Sixty we have. Sixty once.

Sixty twice. And sold to the lady in the yellow bonnet.

We got just one more left, folks.

This is the last cat. It's a splendid specimen.

[Modesty] Oh, yes, he's a very fine cat.

Kill anything smaller than a coyote.

- That's right. He will. He w... - Who hasn't got a cat?

I haven't. Fifty dollars.

Priscilla Colton bids $50. Anybody else?

And five more to the little lady who brung 'em here.

- Oh, thank you, Priscilla. - Sold!

Now just let me have one official word of thanks.

As the mayor of our city

to this little lady.

Oh thank you, mayor.

I'm sorry, folks. There's no more cats.

There's no more to auction today.

Howdy, Ms. Blaine.

Anchor chains and may we clank, remember?

Oh!

- What is it? - Oh.

She must've took a spell.

Uh, she'd take anything that wasn't nailed down.

Now just a minute, stranger. Who might you be?

I might be Bret Maverick.

But to this little lady, I'm Santa Claus.

- Oh, stop him! - Oh, now, Lady Guinevere.

You owe me and the round table $5000.

Who are you?

Plus expenses from San Francisco.

Scratch, stop him. He's trying to take our money.

Sheriff, this is the heartless criminal I told you about.

[Bret] I put up the money for this wagon load of cats.

But I'm willin' to drop the charges

for half the $10,000.

Ever seen this dude before, Modesty?

No, I never did.

Oh, come on, I have half the schoolkids

in Sacramento as witnesses.

But I'm not vindictive.

- All I want's my share. - Your share?

Just happens, stranger, that I put up the $500

this little lady took down to Sacramento to buy cats.

- You? - Of course he did.

Now, Scratch, you take this money and put it in your safe.

And you lost his stake at some faro table.

Now go ahead, tell him.

And it also happens that you got your hand

on a little lady who is gonna become my wife.

Now you just climb on your horse, mister, and get out--

Now, now, wait a minute.

I believe you're the real authority here, uh, Mr. Mayor?

Yes, yes, I am.

Mayor Uli Bemus.

Now, Scratch, I think--

Bemus, when you start thinkin'

folks better get out of the way of fallin' rocks.

I said you're leavin' town.

You got two minutes by a good watch.

Oh, but, sheriff, that's my--

You really wanna argue, mister?

You got a gun?

Well, Paradise lost.

Oh, Ms. Blaine

I've bought a lot of gifts for a lot of lovely ladies.

But never a trucial.

I'll be back.

You wouldn't be a Maverick, name of Bret?

- Faro Jack Norcross. - Ha-ha!

Never figured to see a Maverick on the road to Paradise.

Well, it's just as rough and rocky as they say.

Where was it last time? Santa Fe? Vancouver?

Uh Fort Union. How is business lately?

Booming, Bret.

They don't hardly keep cool.

What you doin' away from a card table?

Well, I got stopped at the Pearly Gates.

Uh, sheriff didn't even bother to look me up in the book.

- He just threw it at me. - Sheriff named Scratch Madden?

That's right. And you keep your eye on him, Jack.

He's sort of smokey.

Oh, good grief. That's him. I gotta get goin'.

Now stay here, boy.

Uh Jack, as my old pappy used to say, "A man who sticks

his head in the sand makes an awfully good target."

Why, he won't spot us here. I'll take our horses.

What do you mean "He won't spot us?"

This here marble orchard

is the one piece of Paradise he's scared of.

How do you know?

I got a letter from some bug named Bemus.

- Not Mayor Uli Bemus? - Well, it just might be.

- A friend of yours? - You're welcome to him.

Well, he's meeting me, uh, right after sundown with the money.

With the money for what? I mean, for who?

Why, for the sheriff. Old Scratch Madden.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Now why would the mayor

wanna kill his own sheriff?

Scratch is getting too tall for his braces.

Gunned the two citizens that voted against him election day

and nine men since.

He's taking cash for protection from the merchants.

Why, the mayor's plumb scared of him.

Uh-oh! He's coming back.

Well, he's tracked you down the trail.

Figured you're out of the county by now.

Just tie your horses up here. He won't spot us.

Why won't he spot us?

Now come on, Jack. You know, you know something that I don't.

He won't even look in this direction.

He's skittish about graveyards, Bemus says.

And almost everything else since that night in Deadwood

Bill Hicock got killed holding aces and eights.

Aces and eights? Dead man's hand?

Well, it was the sheriff first named the dead man's hand.

It seems that old Scratch was sitting

in the same poker game the same night

when a black cat jumped up on the table before the smoke came.

He's been the most superstitious man

in the state ever since.

Yeah, well, I'm a little superstitious myself.

How about a nice little game of straight stud?

- Before sundown? - Oh, well...

There's a nice place right over there.

Now back to "Maverick."

Customer's coming.

Who's that with him?

That's the lady who skinned me in cats.

It's also the lady who's gonna marry the sheriff.

- Marry the sheriff? - Yeah.

And don't you turn your back on her, Jack.

I never do. Ain't polite to a lady.

- You got a gun? - Yeah, got the stubby here.

Well, cover me, huh?

Faro Jack Norcross is the name.

I'm Mayor Bemus. And this is Ms., uh, Ms. Modesty Blaine.

- Pleased. - How do you?

- Don't you have a card? - Well, I'm fresh out of 'em.

Business has been so good, I'm bucked up through the summer.

Well, you chose a good man, Modesty.

It was you who chose me?

Oh, yes, sir, it was indeed.

You mean, your intended and mine are the same fella?

Well, how do you know about me and the sheriff?

Well, a fella I met going out of town.

- Named Maverick? - Mm, might've been.

- Well, how far out of town? - Now, now, be modesty, dear.

[Bemus] This here doesn't matter because, you see, Mr. Norcross

Ms. Blaine decided, uh, quite a long time ago

not to marry our sheriff. And, uh...

But, well, she she didn't have the heart to tell him.

Well, ain't that sweet.

Hm.

Better to let him die happy.

Well, it, it is kind of that way, isn't it?

[Modesty] You see, Sheriff Madden has been real ill-tempered lately.

- Always shootin' at people. - Indeed.

A real bad risk as a husband.

[Modesty] Well, a girl just must look towards peaceful days.

Uh, don't you think so, Mr. Norcross?

[Jack] Well, sure must, Ms. Modesty.

A s-sweet little woman like you.

I'm just proud to lend a helping hand.

Now, now that, uh, that settles everything.

I, uh, I have your money, sir.

Well, no, no, no, Uli, everything isn't settled.

- There's just one more thing. - Why, why, what do you mean?

No, no, Uli, wait just a minute. You-you...

You know that fella that you met

going out of town named Maverick?

- Yeah. - Oh, yes.

[Modesty] Well, he rode into town today

with some absurd idea that I owed him money.

Well, he actually threatened me.

- Yes. - Him? Ah!

- He couldn't hurt nobody. - Oh, well, of course, he could.

Well, you know, a girl alone is, is so defenseless.

Well, Mr. Norcross, if-if he comes back to town

would it be imposing on you too much to ask you to...

[Jack] Take care of him?

Well, a-at your regular fee, of course.

Now, I-I just happen to have brought with me

$200 today.

[Modesty] One, two...

[Jack] Well, thank you, ma'am.

I'd be proud to oblige you.

[Modesty] Mr. Maverick's a real trustin' soul.

Quite sweet, actually.

Oh, I-I don't think he'd give you any trouble.

Don't you worry about a thing, Ms. Modesty.

[Jack] He's as good as dead and sung over.

Well, we'll-we'll see you back in town

just as soon as the, uh, the smoke lifts.

Yes, sir, and it's a pleasure to do business

with such lovely people.

Mm. Alright, come on, Modesty.

Jack.

Yeah?

Did I hear you makin' a deal with that female

to, uh, put a lily in my hand?

Got the money right in my pocket.

Well, that's not ethical, Jack.

Not what?

Uh, fair and square, true blue

to, you know, take money for goods that you won't deliver.

Why won't I?

Because we're old friends.

Sure we are, Bret, but you remember

that night in Dallas when we had--

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

But I'm thinking about tonight.

You really aim to earn that 200?

Well, I sure do. Man's gotta be practical.

- Gunning's my business. - Well, poker's mine, but--

Now don't tell me you wouldn't take my last two dollars

'cause you done it that night in Dallas.

Remember?

Yeah, that's right, I did.

A man in my line doesn't know how long he's good for, Bret.

He's gotta get all the work he can get

not let sentiment interfere.

Now you can understand that, can't you?

I guess I'll have to.

But, Jack, uh, Modesty

if she doesn't know that I never left town

and she doesn't see me

well, that's as good as being dead, isn't it?

Well, since we're old friends

it would serve the same purpose.

But you gotta promise n-not to show.

If you do, I gotta shoot.

Or else give her back her $200.

It's like you said. It's not, uh, ethical.

Uh, don't you worry about that, Jack.

I may be seeing her, but she won't be seeing me.

So long, Jack.

Now that's what I call a thinking man.

- Hey. - Yes, sir?

Where is Scratch Madden?

- You must be-- - New in town. Yeah.

Obliged.

You ain't big enough to bluff.

That pair of deuces wouldn't get an angel a free lunch in heaven.

[Jack] You're just wastin a little woman's money.'

I'm buying chips, banker.

I thought there'd be more than just cats on the prowl tonight.

Like, maybe a sly fox.

As my old pappy used to say, "A fox isn't sly.

He just can't think any slower."

Put it back, Maverick.

I've gone to a lot of trouble for that money.

Modesty, don't you think you'd sleep better

if you just let me have my share and leave town?

You won't need it where you're going.

I've already arranged for your departure.

Yeah, I know.

But just my original $1000

so that taxpayers won't have to bury me.

Lock it up. I've got a man waiting to buy me a drink.

Faro Jack?

He is a real old friend of mine.

An old friend?

Well, then I, I've wasted my $200.

You never wasted a dime in your life. He'll shoot.

But a real old friend?

What kind of principles does the man have?

Modesty, my dear young lady, the same as yours.

Well, in that case, maybe we'd better find Mr. Faro Jack.

Mister, them cards got a liking for you that ain't normal.

You wanna quit, sheriff? Cash in?

One of us is like to cash in before long.

- Meaning? - Meaning...

You've been dealing off the top

off the bottom and off the in-between.

You see that, everybody?

There ain't room for a crooked gambler in Paradise.

Take back his stakes, boys.

You boys afraid of this lead-pusher? Here's your money.

You touch a dime of that money and I'll put a hole

through you, it'll hide a mountain.

You will, huh?

Well, just keep your hands above the table and stand up.

My pleasure.

Now, which one of you sic

this black blowhard on me?

Gimbel?

You're that underhanded even for an undertaker.

Oh, not me, Scratch. We're business partners.

[Modesty] Scratch.

Here is your man.

You!

Paradise can be mighty hot, too

for folks who don't know how to take orders.

Modesty...

Draw, dude!

Oh, now wait a minute, sheriff.

I don't even have a gun.

- Somebody give him a iron! - Uh, hold it, sheriff.

Uh, don't you think we oughta consider all the factors?

Uh, Faro Jack there, he's the 12th man you killed.

I'd be number 13. It's a bad number.

Thirteen.

For you maybe.

Uh, bad for both of us.

Uh, uh, and there's something else.

The hand that Faro Jack dealt you...

...pair of eights and a black ace.

Go ahead, sheriff. Look at the whole card.

Go on, look.

[Bret] Aces and eights, a dead man's hand.

What Bill Hicock held in Deadwood.

Maverick, how'd...

Where'd he go?

Where is he?

Vanished.

Maverick?

Maverick!

- Friend. - Oh.

- You calling me? - Oh.

We haven't met, Mr. Maverick.

I'm Floyd Gimbel, the town undertaker.

Uh, what can I do for you?

Well, I wanted to ask you a question.

How did you know what was in Scratch's poker hand back there?

Well, I saw the pair of eights and aces showing.

And knowing Faro Jack never leaves anything to chance

I just bet on the second ace.

Quick thinker. Mm.

Sure wish you could help me, Mr. Maverick.

Well, always glad to oblige.

You wanna measure me now?

Oh, oh! I don't wanna measure you out.

It's Scratch Madden.

You see, Scratch, he collects 10% protection money

from most of the merchants in town.

I'd be glad to pay him 10% to protect me.

Oh, yes, but because I'm the undertaker and he sends me

so much business, I have to pay him 25.

He's got a point there Gimbel.

Wel, who is that?

Heavy traffic tonight.

Oh, sooner or later you see everybody you know out here.

Hey, look.

Modesty and the mayor?

Oh, everybody knows they've been schmoozing.

Everybody in town except Scratch Madden.

- Except Scratch? - Yeah.

Well, maybe I can help you with your problem

after all, Mr. Gimbel.

You run into town and tell the sheriff to come out here.

Oh, he won't come through that gate.

Not through the gate. He can stay outside the fence.

Just tell him what Modesty and the mayor are up to.

- He'll come running. - Oh, but I-I-I...

Don't gabble, Gimbel. Get him.

Now back to "Maverick."

You better know what you're talking about.

I had two pairs in that hand just now and it was both kings.

Oh, Uli, I don't know what to say.

And I don't know what to do.

Marry me, Modesty.

I'll provide for you and I'll cherish you.

For better or for worse. In-in sickness and in health.

Till death do us part.

Yes, but that'll be almost immediately.

- Scratch will kill you sure. - Mm.

I boosted Scratch Madden into office

and I'll boot him out. I ain't scared.

Modesty Blaine!

Modesty!

You get away from that windbag!

Scratch, please don't shoot.

Then you rattle your hocks out of there!

Who's that? Oh, oh, Maverick.

I thought you weren't scared of him.

So there are more people here

than there are left back in town.

In a manner of speaking, yes.

What's he doing?

Right now, Mr. Mayor, he's kissing your girl.

He's kissing my-my girl? Why...

- You alright, honey? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, but I was so shocked.

I don't know what that man had in mind.

Sweet little woman like you wouldn't know.

Let's not think of it.

Bemus, you're gonna have to come

out of that witch's orchard some time!

And when you do, there'll be a gun waiting for you.

Welcome to the club, mayor.

Maverick.

Uh, what will I do now?

I can't stay here the rest of my life.

No, but you can't run either.

If you did, they'd laugh you out of every town you came to.

Mayor

you're just gonna have to face up to Scratch.

Me? I'm so slow with a gun...

I stand in front of a mirror, and my reflection

will beat me to the draw.

Better death than dishonor.

- Why? - "Why?"

- I'm not quite sure. - I fetched Scratch.

- You? - But it didn't do any good.

On the way out, he told me

that he gets 30% off Bemus.

Now look, what-what does, what does he want here?

Well, he's sort of the landlord.

I figured your plan wouldn't work.

Plan? What, what plan is it?

Well, Mayor Bemus, I had plans for the two of us.

It might work, it might not.

But what have we got to lose? Scratch will shoot us anyway.

Sure, what do you got to lose?

Would you shut up? You can't lose.

Uh, Uli, you, uh, you just stay right here.

I'll be back in about a half hour.

I just don't understand it.

I tried in the best way I know how to raise a town proper.

And what happens?

I end up hiding in a cemetery...

...with an undertaker.

[Bret] Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Come on kitty. Here, kitty, kitty. Yeah, nice, kitty.

Come on. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Come on, kitty.

Come on, kitty, kitty, kitty.

That's a nice kitty. Come on, kitty, kitty. Here we go.

What's that?

[Bret] Come on now, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Come on, kitty, kitty. Come on. Come on, kitty.

Come on, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on, kitty--

What are them cats doing there?

- Why ain't they at work? - Oh.

They'll be workin' soon now.

There, Gimbel, take off my boot. Ah.

- Bemus, you get the other one. - What for?

- Ah. To shine it. - Shine it?

But I'm the mayor of this town. I don't go around shining shoes.

The only thing you're mayor of right now is Boot Hill.

[Bret] And if I'm gonna die with mine on tomorrow

I want 'em nice and shiny.

So I want you to mix plenty of catnip

and smoked fish with the polish.

- What polish? - This polish.

Right here.

[Bret] And I got a can of cold water.

What's that for?

Old grannies say that cats are really witches.

So while you're polishing boots, me and the cats are gonna mix up

a little mess of bad luck for, uh, old Scratch.

And tomorrow morning you're gonna add your share, Mr. Bemus.

The boot.

Well, look who's come back to the land of the livin'.

What are you doing at my desk?

I am takin' over.

I figured you'd be nearin' Mexico by now.

- You're fired. - Heh. You been drinkin'?

You heard me.

Best thing you can do is get out of Paradise.

And the best time to do it is-is right now.

Now you heard me!

I've taken over this town.

Mr. Mayor, you were fired

an hour ago.

That makes us both private citizens.

Alright, Madden...

...step out in the street.

- We-we'll-we'll settle this. - What?

You heard, you heard me.

Alright, let's get going. What are we waiting for?

I never pass up a turkey shoot.

Where are you going, Uli boy?

Anytime, Uli.

Good morning, gentlemen. Am I interrupting something?

- Stay out of this, Maverick. - Out of what?

You're aiming a crossfire at me, you go down first, mister.

I can still kill Bemus before he can draw.

Why, I am a peaceful man, sheriff. Not even armed.

All I'm trying to do is cross the street.

Hold your fire, sheriff. That's his constitutional right.

Just taking my friends out for an airing.

Count 'em. Thirteen black cats, sheriff.

Uli done it, boys! Uli done it! Ha-ha...

Straight out of Paradise.

Hey, what are you doing up here? Now go away.

Go chase a rat or somethin'.

You won't find nothing in there but a nickel, Mr. Maverick.

What are you doin' in here?

Just waiting for the smoke to settle.

- Who tidied up? - Modesty Blaine.

Oh, they was her cats and it was her money.

Well, how long ago? You know which way she went?

Two hours. She went south and took the fastest horse in town.

I'll bet she did. She's quite a traveler.

She's a sweet little lady.

She'll always be welcome in Paradise.

Well, sure you don't wanna try to get

your money back, Mr. Gibbon?

No no chance, Mr. Maverick

'cause it sure is your lucky night.

Yeah, I guess it is.

It was.

Again?

Why, Bret Maverick!

Uh, don't tell me you lost all the cat money.

- That's right. It was stolen. - By two men?

Oh Bret, please. I really am desperate this time.

I was going to San Francisco for some brides.

Uh, tabbies for the toms in Paradise?

No, silly. Real ladies.

Coming down through the gold camps

I met so many lonely miners.

They paid $500 for a wife.

Well, that's chicken feed for a girl like you.

There's a shipment of brides due into San Francisco

tomorrow from the East.

I was gonna use my cat money.

Our cat money.

To feed and transport a hundred of them

back to the mother lode country.

- A hundred? - Mm-hmm.

That's $50,000.

That's right.

Well, you blame me for wanting to jump?

No no. Go right ahead and jump.

All the suckers are down there in the river.

There is none up here.

Oh, no!

Oh, Bret, I really never met a man like you.

Not even in books?

You know, knights in armor would have sunk out there.

No, I'm serious, Bret.

You weren't thinking about yourself

when you went in after me.

Nope, I was thinking about a hundred brides and $50,000.

Not about me?

Just a little?

- Well, maybe just a little. - Ah.

As my old pappy used to say

"You can be a gentleman and still not forget

all you know about self-defense."

[Bart] In our next, we'll take you to the town of Brotherly

where the fraternity tends to get diluted

with several kinds of violence.

This is as far as you go, mister.

I'm having a short walk.

Your wallet now.

I must say, if you have to be robbed, that's the way to do it.

Now look, sheriff, a man wins in an honest game of cards

and then goes out and gets robbed

and you do nothing about it

you run this town like that mayor plays poker.

Maverick, you better start yapping

or I'm gonna throw you in one of them cells there.

Good. I understand you're on the American plan here.

Would you mind arresting me?

- You're Maverick, aren't you? - Yes.

But you've got to put me in jail.

Well, from what I've heard about you, I am surprised you're out.

Are you sure there's nothing more

we can do for you, Mr. Maverick?

Look, I had to take your money.

They were going to kill my father.

Oh, serve it with violin music, Ms. Malone.

Who's gunning for your father?

Care to win this back sometime

Maverick, you know where to find me.

- I'll be looking you up. - Do that.

We have a special treat for you today, girls.

So I suggest we dispense with the usual business.

Our speaker, Mr. Maverick, is a stranger to our town

but he is no stranger to corruption.

[Bart] That's me holding forth

on the evils of gambling.

If you want to find out how I got in this appalling fix

be with us for our next

in which we go Charles Dickens one better.

"A Tale Of Three Cities."

♪ Who is the tall dark stranger there? Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Ridin' the trail to who-knows-where ♪

♪ Luck is his companion gamblin' is his game ♪

♪ Smooth as a handle on a gun Maverick is the name ♪

♪ Wild as the wind in Oregon blowin' up a canyon ♪

♪ Easier to tame ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell fare thee well Annabelle ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Riverboat ring your bell fare thee well Annabelle ♪

♪ Luck is the lady that he loves the best ♪

♪ Natchez to New Orleans livin' on jacks and queens ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪

♪ Maverick is a legend of the West ♪♪

This has been an ABC Television Network presentation.