Original subtitles

Yeah? Yeah?

Um... Sit down a minute. I just wanted to ask you something and it's a bit

embarrassing.

Okay. It's embarrassing to ask you because, you know, I should know but I'm

a bit out of practice.

But...

I've just had a message from the last guy that I went on a date with. Do you

remember me saying?

Yeah, yeah.

And... I don't know.

It just didn't feel like... I don't want to meet him again.

I don't know, I'm just... It just doesn't seem to be... It's either

they're blowing me off or the one that doesn't want to see me again.

Interesting. It's just not... I don't know. I don't understand why I'm

attracting all the kind of people that I'm not really interested in.

So what? You're on the dating sites?

Yeah, and I just... I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

I'm just... I don't know. I'm attracting some, like, just not the right people.

And there's no way that no one is the right person for me.

I'll try and help. I mean...

I just don't know, like, I don't know. It's all about marketing these days,

isn't it?

I don't know how to do this online thing.

Well, show me your profile pictures then.

Let's see what you're working with.

Really? I mean, I didn't really focus on the photos because I just put a lot of

writing in. I guess that people would, you know, want to know me rather

than...

Yeah, you've got to sell yourself a bit first, haven't you? Before you get to

that stage.

I hate it all. I just wish we could go back to the days of just, you know,

meeting in a bar.

Oh, yeah.

So, that's one of them.

Oh, it's a nice photo, but you do look like a bit of a teddy bear.

Oh. Well.

I went.

On one of the dates like that.

Because it was cold.

Okay. What else?

So what, you just think... You're not really showing any skin or anything, are

you?

Yeah, I don't want to give that impression.

I'm going to let me find this song.

What the hell's going on with my phone now?

I'm going to have to find it.

See, I'm showing a bit of skin there. Yeah, that's a bit better.

So what's wrong with it?

You could be a bit more sexy. You're quite a hot mum, so, you know, you could

put a bit of cleavage out maybe.

Well, oh my God.

Yeah, but isn't that going to attract, like, the wrong person on the internet?

Well, you might attract, like, a few, and then you can filter it down a bit,

can't you?

See what you want.

Yeah, true.

No, so I wore that.

What else did I wear? Like, this is my kind of go-to dress.

One of my go-to dresses.

Because I'm trying to, I don't know, to look too Little House on the Prairie.

Now that you've said that, I'm thinking maybe... Yeah.

That's when the weather was warmer. I mean, that's all the way down to your

feet, isn't it?

I don't really feel comfortable.

How many have you got?

It's a bit, I don't know.

Oh, it's a mess in there at the moment. A bit more skimpy.

Not that fit. I've got a lot of stuff that doesn't fit me anymore.

What about that dress you wore, you know, you bought to go on holiday, but I

don't think you ever wore it, do you?

Like the Spanish you look in there.

Yeah, let's have a look at that.

That shows away too much.

Oh, let's see then.

Okay, sit down.

Yeah,

that's a bit better, isn't it?

It feels a bit... I can't wear a bra with it, so it feels a little bit, you

know, revealing.

Well, it's still not a mini dress, but yeah, you're getting there.

What about what sort of lipstick you own with that?

Okay, give me two seconds, two seconds.

I haven't really been wearing much in the way of makeup because, again,

I always feel like it seems over the top when I do.

Hang on, let me try this.

It's a bit of something, but not too much.

How's that?

Much? I've just thrown it on, I don't know how to say it, but I think I should

take the hair down.

i'll keep it up you know yeah down definitely down okay um

i just you know especially when it's cold not wearing a bra um

yeah that's better i mean there's some nice strappy shoes

um okay tell me about these dates and did you you know

uh is that what well How did it go? What happened?

Did you get up too much?

Are you asking me?

First base, second base, I think. I don't understand that lingo.

So, on two of them, I kissed them. But honestly, it was...

It's terrible to say that, but it was purely because...

I felt a little bit bad just walking away.

I wasn't really interested.

And then... So two of them you kissed.

What about the third one?

Well, things did go further, but... Yeah, it was a bit weird.

Tell me.

I don't know. He was just a little bit hot.

I guess. I thought it was... I don't know. I initially took it as being quite

hot and I liked... Yeah, it just turned out a little bit weird.

So when you say you took things a bit further than that, what do you mean?

Well, all the way.

Okay.

Yeah, I know.

First date.

Honestly, I just think I've been out of the game for so long.

I just wasn't sure how to handle it.

I...

wanted it you know and I don't know maybe I wasn't looking for it anymore I

just wanted a bit of fun I know I shouldn't be telling you that of all

people but it's true and but I don't want to see him again he's the one I've

kind of blown off um I forgot to put lipstick on my teeth but

yeah so what do you think new photos and

yeah definitely I'll help you if you want. Can I just take them like this?

It's a bit presumptuous to take them on my bed though, don't you think?

You tell me. You tell me what you think.

Maybe do a couple out on the balcony.

Okay.

Okay. Yeah?

Well, I'm going to leave this up to you. You can tell me how to pose, how to...

Let me just look.

Okay. Are you sure I look okay?

Yeah, it looks good. Really nice.

Okay.

It feels embarrassing.

I'm sorry you happened to help me with this. This isn't... Yeah, after your

dad's death, then this isn't what you've done.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll stop that bit in a moment.

Yeah, maybe sit on the side of the hot tub.

Oh, that's just... Then that looks like I'm inviting them in.

Does it?

What about next to the fake wall?

That looked good.

Don't get my feet in.

Yeah, that's good.

I'll show you after.

Okay.

Is that working?

like i'm like i don't know playboy shooting or something no yeah

um maybe

share a little bit more cleavage if you can i feel a bit weird when you take

that so i look up at me yeah they're a nice

pout

Yeah, it looks good.

Okay.

I don't know, maybe.

Yeah, that looks really good.

It still looks a bit seductive.

Well, you've got to sell yourself a little bit.

Okay.

No,

definitely not.

No, I really like that dress actually.

I'm surprised you remember it. I must have had it on for all of two minutes

when I tried it on the first time.

No, it's good. It's really nice.

Must be if you remembered it.

Okay, so that sorts out the photos and then

getting them to that stage.

well tell me about the dates again well they've obviously gone okay

because of that because

we've gone from obviously it went a little bit

further with both of them i didn't really feel any chemistry

whatsoever but then i don't know is it me

Like I said, I'm rusty.

I'm a bit awkward, maybe.

I don't know. What do you talk about on a first date?

How... And what do you... But you said it right. You kissed him as well.

How did that go?

What, tongue as well, or...? Yeah.

Yeah.

It just... In honesty, it just felt...

I don't know. I felt out of practice.

Maybe you are a bit out of practice.

Yeah, I am.

It's been a long time since your dad.

Okay. So, yeah.

Tell me what happened.

Well, it just felt clunky. Like there was no chemistry.

The first guy, I actually bashed into his teeth with my teeth.

I've never done that before.

And that was just, well, yeah, that killed the mood.

And then the other guy, it just felt,

I don't know, it felt like my tongue was in a washing machine.

It was... But then he touched him as well, just kissing.

I think that's what I was missing.

He didn't even try and grope you?

Grope? That makes it sound awful.

Copping a feel?

No, not really.

Like I said, there was absolutely no chemistry.

But then I suppose I can't blame them entirely because I

wasn't, you know, touching.

I suppose it probably seemed like I wasn't even that into it.

I don't know.

I just don't know how to do it anymore, I guess.

I'll help you if I can.

How? Are you going to give me training on how to kiss somebody?

Oh, God.

I don't know.

Maybe I should do more.

Maybe.

Yeah. I don't know. Do guys appreciate that?

Oh, for sure. That wasn't very touchy-feely, so...

Maybe I should be

stroking and, like, on the movies, holding the back of the head.

I quite like it when the girls pinch my nipples a bit.

What, on the first...

That's a bit forward.

Well.

Okay.

Oh.

Okay, I'll take note of that.

Maybe just start up there and work your way down a bit.

Yeah. It's difficult because I wouldn't even know where to start without it

seeming, I don't know, weird, just going straight in. You'll feel like I'm

groping them.

How do you just, you know.

Gently.

Do you see what I mean?

We'll wait until he's kissing your neck a bit.

It didn't get that far.

Right, I'll have to go in.

I suppose, so, initially, so, right, pretend

you, I'm obviously not going to touch you, just pretend you're him.

Yeah.

So, we're about to say goodbye.

Okay.

And I just maybe lean in.

But that's the thing, if you're saying goodbye, so you didn't want it to go

further?

Or you didn't want to invite him in?

Yeah, but I was thinking if I kiss and maybe

I'm saying goodbye, then I start kissing him and everything, and then invite him

in, if that goes well.

Because I don't want to invite him in if the kissing doesn't go well, I guess.

So maybe, does that seem, I suppose I need to go in with that intention, don't

I?

So if I like them, we've got on well.

Don't kiss them if we haven't got on. But if we do, maybe just

stroke the leg as I go in for a kiss.

Close my eyes or look at them.

I'd say, I don't know, keep them open I would.

I think that's quite more horny.

And I keep stroking.

I up the leg.

I don't know. You tell me. What am I supposed to do?

Sorry. I'm putting you in a... I'm probably being weird here.

I know not everyone has to help.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

So... Am I making things weird?

No, no, no.

You sure?

Mm-hmm. Okay.

So, give them a bit of cleavage.

A bit more.

That's good.

Okay.

And lean in.

Straight the leg.

If you sat down, that is, I guess, yeah.

Straight the leg.

I'm imagining they're dropping me off.

Mm-hmm.

That's a bit awkward. I'll see you in the car.

I know.

That's old-fashioned, isn't it? But I'm going over for a kiss.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe I could go higher with my hands. What do you think?

I think go lower.

Hmm? I think go lower.

Go lower?

Mm.

Down here.

Oh, no.

I thought you meant if you're starting off high, then work your way down. Okay,

I'm just going to sit back.

You tell me.

Guide me.

So, okay. So imagine I'm here, I'm driving.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Okay.

So... Bic, that's it.

Mm-hmm.

Accidentally, you know... Bic, Bic.

Miss the getting up.

Start kissing.

Hmm.

So, you know if he's getting excited.

Oh, I can feel he's excited.

So, I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing.

Evidently not.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I, yeah, I've made things really weird now.

Why isn't that working for everybody else then?

If it was.

Okay.

I guess it's because you're guiding me on things you like so you're

enjoying it and

okay

well it's nice to know that what I'm doing is

It works. It's not me.

It's definitely not you.

So, stroke up the leg. Okay, come back.

Stroke up the leg.

Carry on, as you would.

I'll tell you if you're doing anything wrong.

I don't know. I think maybe... Maybe he was waiting for you to

blow him in the car.

I think maybe... Yeah, we've gone... We've crossed

a bit of a line.

I don't think... I mean, it's nice that you're having that reaction. It's

reassuring.

But... And I know you're trying to help me. I know that.

But... We should probably stop now.

You're still... Anyway.

Do you not...

Are you just, I don't know, good at role play, so you're not even you at the

moment?

I'm just trying to help you.

I know you are, and I appreciate it.

I just think maybe, okay, maybe...

Just pretend.

Yeah, I don't know how much further I'll go with them that I'd be comfortable

going further with you.

Okay.

honestly okay I think I

think maybe I can't

believe what are we doing I

don't understand why I'm having this

I shall not be waiting any day there.

Can I carry on and show you?

I think you should.

See if your technique is any good.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

We should not be doing this. This is really, we have crossed the line now.

There is, Stephen come on, think about this.

As much as I want to and I really, I really, really, this

is not okay.

Why do I want you to touch me?

We can't do it.

You should not feel this good.

Look up.

You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

There's nothing wrong with that.

I wouldn't say you're rusty.

Would you say I'm good at it?

Definitely.

Or is it just that it's me?

Oh it's really naughty.

forward to finding out how it works.

I can't.

I can't.

You can if you want to.

No.

You're going to come for me.

All over my face.

I need to be inside you.

I need to give you a full evaluation.

You

watch

you.

Thank you.

Thanks, guys.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

I really, I don't know what came over me then. I don't.

I don't know.

Oh, what?

What were we thinking?

This is all me.

This was a bad idea.

I'm sorry.

This is going to change everything.

Forever I don't know what I was thinking

Let's get

showered