Original subtitles

(CHILDREN) ♪ Bogey man, the bogey man

♪ Here comes the bogey man

♪ The bogey man, the bogey man

♪ Here comes the bogey man

♪ The bogey man, the bogey man

♪ Here comes the bogey man

♪ The bogey man, the bogey man

- ♪ Here comes the bogey man ♪ - Stephen!

But it's ludicrous that county lines and parish boundaries should divide houses.

Oh, come now, imagine.

- Mary Fenwick and her twins. - Yes?

She might have been delivered of one in Somerset, pushed the bed across the room

and had the second in Devon.

Twins and a hernia!

- (VICAR) Good evening. - (DOCTOR) Good evening.

Poor fellow.

- Has he spoken to you yet? - Alas, no.

- I had hoped to see him in church. - Not that one.

Three Sundays have now come and gone since he arrived.

Some form of skin disease, Margaret says.

But then she was only repeating what Mrs Lipton had told her.

I deplore gossip, of course,

but I suppose it's inevitable that a person of so remarkable an appearance and bearing

should form a source of idle talk

in a village the size of lping.

Were you aware of the general view that he's a criminal trying to escape justice?

No, I was not.

What nonsense.

- They don't like him at all. - I am aware of that.

Poor fellow.

Change, damn you, change!

Oh! Now there he goes again.

(MRS HALL SIGHING)

- He given you a name yet, Mr Hall? - No, he ain't, Sandy.

- It's not for the want of asking, neither. - It smells in here.

Well, I reckon that'll be chloroform.

Or it's what old Fearenside says. He says it's opium.

It ain't right, Mr Hall, opium.

Pacing up and down, up and down,

babbling away to himself all the time, more like a blessed turkey.

- What's he been saying, then? - It don't make no sense to me.

It ain't proper, Sandy. He's not given no name.

He's not given no money, neither, not for weeks now.

- Oh! - Oh, look at this, George.

It's just not good enough.

Dear God.

This'll take me all my life.

Now, you Palaeolithic tonic...

this time, do your work.

Ugh!

Now, you devil.

(CRIES OUT)

- Oh, no. He'll have to go, Janny. - (SCREAMING)

We've got folks walking up the hill to Sidderbridge rather than face him.

- He's right. - Even Archie Moon with his game Leg.

Oh, no, he won't do, old girl.

Sidderbridge, they ain't had business like this since we had the roof fall in.

(GLASS SMASHING)

- What's he up to in there, then, eh? - All I hear, morning, noon and night

is paper being torn, glass breaking and him shouting and screaming

as if a brick has dropped on his foot.

And never a word of thank you for all the meals I've cooked.

Just don't be too hasty, old girl. He's got a very nasty temper on him.

Oh, has he? Oh!

Well, I'll temper him!

Go on, out of my way, Teddy Henfrey.

- Here, just a minute... - Not just a minute. Now. Now.

H' you please!

If you please, sir!

Here, if there are any nasty stains on my carpet...

What is it that you want?

Well, sir, I expect you'll be wanting to pay your bill now.

Certainly not.

Please don't bother me at this time of night.

I heard glass breaking. How do we know you're not making bombs? All them horrible smells.

As I told you, if there is any damage, add it to my bill.

How can I do that unless I see what damage has been done?

- I can't have my experiments interfered with. - I won't be locked out of my own parlour.

- I pay you enough for the privacy! - You promise me enough, sir,

but you pay me nothing. I've not had a farthing this month.

No, I'm afraid I shall have to ask you to Leave.

Impossible.

And I'd thank you for the key to my parlour.

George.

It is only right, sir. The room has got to be cleaned.

Give me the key or I shall have this door broke down and the lock changed.

- (CROWD MURMURING) - This is ridiculous.

- I am awaiting a remittance... - Remittance, indeed!

I am not humbugging, but until it arrives...

Tomorrow, if you please, sir.

Tomorrow you pays me my bill or you leaves this house before noon.

- (MURMURING) - My sakes, Mrs Hall!

Hoo-hoo! That told him!

I'll have a brandy, please, George.

A double measure.

(RUSTLING)

Damnation!

Edward!

- Edward! - (GROANS)

Edward, I heard the sound of breaking glass.

Someone's broken into the house, Edward.

Let us not jump to conclusions, my dear.

Edward! Edward!

If one hears glass being broken,

it does not necessarily mean one is about to be bludgeoned to death

in one's own bed.

Don't say such things!

(COCKEREL CROWS)

Do go and Look, dear!

(COCKEREL CROWS)

The bounder's in the kitchen! The window's broken.

My dear, wake Susie at once and send out for the constable.

What are you going to do?

- Put the fear of God into the scoundrel - Then do take off your nightcap, dear.

(GRUNTING)

Surrender!

(CLATTERING)

- Edward... - (MOUTHS)

(WHISPERS) Edward... the window.

The window.

Huh!

He must still be here.

- Such a draught, suddenly. - Sh!

(MOUTHS)

- He found the housekeeping. - How much was in there?

Two pounds, ten shillings in half sovereigns.

The constable should be here soon, dear.

Margaret, I could have sworn he was in the room when we entered.

- Yes, dear. - Who Lit the candle?

- And this knife. - He used it to force the Lock.

Yes, but it fell to the ground after we came into the room.

And yet, if that were so...

(PANTING)

(COUGHING)

George?

George!

* Oh!

I found the door ajar.

He's not here.

Come here, George. Look, the front door's open.

Look.

I don't...

(LABOURED BREATHING)

His clothes are still here.

Well, I...

No, don't touch 'em, George.

I wonder where he could've gone without any clothes and them bandages, eh?

(SUCKS TEETH) Well!

Cold as the grave. He must've been up at least an hour or more.

Here, what's over here, George?

- What is it? - Books.

(SNEEZE)

It weren't me.

George!

George, there's spirits in this room.

Here, I can hear 'em breathing.

Here, don't talk so daft, woman. Spirits don't sneeze.

Well, who was it, then, eh?

George! Let's... let's lock the door, George. Lock him out and them in.

- (SCRAPING) - Come on.

- What the...? - (SHRIEKING)

Ooh! Who did that? What's going on here?

- Aargh! - Oh, stand up, for goodness' sake, woman.

- Oh! Don't, don't! - (INVISIBLE MAN LAUGHING)

- Oh! - Oh, no, sir!

- No! No! - (LAUGHING)

- Oh, no! - Oh!

- (SHRIEKS) - Soaked to the skin!

Now, my dear, exactly what time did the master call for you?

It's the spirits! Yes, I know, I know it's the spirits.

They'll infest the whole house now.

I've read about 'em in the papers! Dancing and singing.

My good old furniture!

- You take a drop more. That'll steady you. - Thank you, Sandy.

- It's not steady she'll get on that stuff. - Oh, shut up.

- Where is he now, then, Mr Hall? - Oh, well, he's gone.

Before dawn, we reckon. He ain't come back yet, neither.

- You ought to lock him out - He'll not get past me!

- What's happening upstairs, then? - Don't you go near that room!

I don't know. Door's jammed shut just like it were Locked.

- Do you hear anything? - No, not a thing.

- I reckon whatever it were is still there. - My good old furniture rising up against me!

I tell you what, Mrs Hall.

You want horseshoes hung everywhere for gents like him.

I'll be darned if it ain't witchcraft.

Well, I might have known! Eh?

Him! Him with his bandaged head and his great, big goggling eyes.

- And never going to church on Sundays. - That's right!

He's got more books and bottles than anyone has a right to.

- Here, why don't you bust down the door? - Now, just a moment, hold hard.

Let's have the facts first. Best be sure he be acting right in busting it down.

It's his door. He can do what he likes.

A door unbust is always open to busting.

You can't unbust a bust door once you've busted it.

Well, I...

- It's Robbie. - How do, Robbie.

How do.

Fair old rumpus up the Vicarage, eh?

Fair old rumpus down here.

- You ain't heard? - Heard what?

- Burglary. - The Vicarage? Never.

So help me. They reckon he took £20 in gold.

- Who? - It's him!

- Don't talk so daft. - Got in through a window.

- It's him! - Vicar went for him but he got clear away.

They've got men with dogs out Sidderbridge way.

- Ooh! - It never rains but it pours.

(GASPS)

Good morning.

Thank you.

I trust that gun is not loaded, Mr Hall.

(TUT5)

(KEY TURNING)

- How did he get in, George? - Well, if that don't Lick everything!

How did he get in?

Ach!

Foot'.!

(SCOFFS) No, no, no.

(SIGHS) Idiots!

Dear heaven!

A student would know more.

Bah! This is useless!

Mm.

Dr Samuel Kemp.

Optical density.

Kemp.

Must be the same man.

Join Kemp,

(VOICES OUTSIDE)

Of course!

Join Kemp,

(KNOCKING)

- I wanna know where he's been. - You demand an explanation!

- We don't want him in this house no Longer. - Break down the door.

- Yes? - Me and Mrs Hall, sir,

we wanna know where you've been this morning and how you got back in.

That, sir, is none of your business.

- Anyone staying here comes in by the door. - Tell him!

- It's a rule of the house. - You demand an explanation!

- Go to the devil! - (ALL EXCLAIM)

Go to the devil! And you, madam, may fetch my breakfast.

- Oh! - Why isn't it prepared?

And why hasn't my bill been paid?

So that's it!

- (cows CHINK) - How much?

- Yesterday he said he didn't have no money. - Mmm!

(HALL) I wonder where he got that.

- What does that mean? - It means I wonder where you got it.

- Off the Vicarage! - (MRS HALL) More than Likely.

I've no idea what you're talking about.

Did I not tell you that I was awaiting a remittance? Did I not receive a package?

- Do you wish to be paid or not? - Robbie, fetch the constable.

- (GENERAL ASSENT) - Stay where you are!

By heaven, I'll show you,

you stupid bumpkins.

- What? - What's he doing?

- Oh! - There's nothing there!

George! Make him stop, George!

He's fetching off his wrappings!

- Where's his eyes gone? - Oh, God!

Make him stop!

- Mrs Hall! - Right.

(MRS HALL) No! No!

(SCREAMING)

Oh. no! No!

No! No!

(MRS HALL SCREAMING, DOG BARKING)

Get her out of here! Get her out of here!

Oh! Sarah, Sarah!

It was horrible! He ain't got no head, Sarah!

- Right! - There's Mr Jaffers!

(LABOURED BREATHING)

(ANGRY VOICES OUTSIDE)

What I'm after ain't no invisibility, it's burglary.

But he's got no head, Mr Jaffers!

- My gun's in there! - Loaded, was it?

Sarah, Sarah, he ain't a man at all.

Oh, my God, my God!

- What's he done to her? - He run at her with a knife.

- Terrible! - How'd he speak if he ain't got no head?

"Without his bandages."

You could see right down his collar.

- Conjuring trick! - Never!

Who ever heard the Likes of this?

- Makes no sort of sense to me. - Ain't you been listening?

Don't you go on like that, Teddy Henfrey. There's a house been broke into and money stole.

- But he's invisible, Mr Jaffers. - We'll have to see about that.

Head or no head, you've got to arrest him.

It's your duty! How you gonna put those on when there ain't no hands to see?

- He'll never surrender. He's violent, that one. - My gun is still in there, mind.

- George, don't go in there! - Have you got a warrant?

If I've got to arrest him, then arrest him I will.

Handcuffs is the regular thing.

Hands or no hands.

(CROWD MURMURING)

Shut the door, George. Don't let him Loose.

Have a look upstairs.

Look behind the bar.

(FOOTSTEPS)

- Well? - Nothing there.

- Well? - No, he's not there.

- Back door's still bolted. - Has he been using the parlour?

He has indeed.

Then that's where he'll be.

OPE" up!

- (TEDDY) Break down the door. - In the name of the law!

- Don't touch nothing! - Oh, right.

You got a second key?

Er... no, I ain't.

Well, maybe it ain't Locked.

He ain't here.

- (GASPING) - Bird's flown!

- My sakes! - I said... don't touch nothing.

Told you so.

He ain't a man at all. He don't exist.

(PANTING)