Original subtitles

Where the sun shines brightly We're going where the sea is blue We've

seen it in the movies Now let's see if it's true

Everybody has a summer holiday Doing things they

always wanted to So we're going on a summer holiday To make our

dreams come true

I always say there's nothing like a beautiful English summer's day.

And this is certainly nothing like one.

Come on, Cyril. In seven days we'll be on our holiday. Seven more days and

we'll be on our holiday.

Very well put, Edwin.

Where are we going to, anyway?

Steve, my boy, I've got it all worked out. Yeah?

Assuming we can hitchhike free to the French Riviera and take into account

present prices there and the sum total of our savings, we'll be able to stay

there for three whole luxurious hours.

Very funny. Ha-ha.

Look, but seriously, fellas, what are we gonna do?

I don't know.

I think Don's got something up his sleeve. Yeah? His arm.

I've got it.

Got what?

This bus.

London Transport said okay.

Okay? Okay to what?

Okay to use this bus for transport on a holiday.

They're with it.

With what?

With the plan I outlined to them today.

What plan?

That's right, what plan?

If we can do it once, they'll back us all the way.

Look, can you explain in words of one syllable exactly what you're talking

about? Listen, you nut.

I've persuaded London Transport to lend us this old bus.

We fix it up like a mobile hotel.

This year we live in it, take it to the south of France.

Then next year we'll be ready to take paying passengers. The sky's the limit.

Isn't that fabulous?

Isn't that great?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One thing.

We've got to do the fixing.

That's all we've got to do?

That's all we've got to do.

Oh, come on, we've got plenty of time.

Plenty of time?

Seven whole days?

It's easy when you've got friends. We'll get some of the fellas to help us. Come

on.

Come on, everybody.

We need your help.

Fred, come on. Phil, bring your mates.

Fred. Phil.

Jonathan, come here.

Fred, come on. I've got news for you.

Come on.

All we need is some of your help.

We've got some great, great news.

Fellas, fellas.

Fellas, how would you like the unique opportunity of doing seven days overtime

with no pay?

they sound very keen look seriously fellas we're in a bit of a jam you see

we've just seven days to a holiday and there's such a lot to do

come on fellas it's up to you we're in an awful stew get us out of this

spot are you with us or not six

days to a holiday

And the bus should look like new.

Shiny bright as a birthday gift. Give it a real facelift and its body the sheen

of a top beauty queen.

Five more days, just five more days to fix up dozens of things.

Let's spring clean it from front to rear. Yes, I've cleaned all the springs.

Four days to a holiday.

And we know before we're through Our bus will be safer than any bank Tough as an

army tank We will check everywhere Though it's hard to get there

Three days to a holiday And those sunny skies of blue

By the time that it leaves our shed Our bus will be bright red And we know that

we will Paint Paris red still Oui

Two days to a holiday, all of the inside to do.

So this old London bus can pass as a hotel first class. We'll make everything

fit.

Including... Ah, yes, that's it.

One more day, just one more day, so we must not waste an hour.

Come on, let's get the plumbing in, cause blimey, what a shower.

Off we go on a holiday, and it's you we have to thank.

Fellas, fellas, fellas.

We'd just like to say that on behalf of the four of us that, well, we'd never

have made it without you, would we, chaps? No.

Definitely not. It just goes to show you can't do without friends.

No, we promise we won't forget you.

We'll send you postcards.

So long, chaps.

See you when we get back, fellas.

See you, see you, fellas.

Thanks. Cheers. See you, fellas.

forgot to fill the tank.

We're all going on a summer holiday.

No more working for a week or two.

Fun and laughter on a summer holiday. No more worries for me.

Now let's see if it's true.

Everybody has a summer holiday doing things they always wanted to.

So we're going on a summer holiday to make a new...

Welcome to...

They won't stop. He thinks you want to pass. That's the baggage.

I'll have to get alongside.

What's the French word for wheel?

La wheel?

What? What's the matter with the English word? Because they're probably friends.

We'll go and see how the girls are while I see what the bus is doing. Oh, the

girls. Yeah, let's go and see how they are. Well, they look all right.

Women.

Everything they say about women drivers is true. Of all the stupid, idiotic,

dangerous.

Women drivers, indeed.

It's people like you that shouldn't be allowed on the road.

I'm Theo.

I'm Sandy.

We just want to let you know... If you'd been watching where you're going instead

of shouting at us all the time, we'd never have met.

Beastly to them. It wasn't their fault, was it? Steve. Steve Jones.

I'm Angie.

Glad to know you, Charlie.

I would just like to say, miss, that the accident would have been far more

serious had it not been for your superb driving and very quick thinking.

Oh, glad that didn't go unnoticed.

You certainly didn't mean any harm, did you?

Cyril. I'm Cyril. He's Edwin.

Oh, yes, of course, Edwin. Oh, it's my favourite name. Really?

Anyone hurt? Hey, what's the damage? Well, the light and the radiator, but we

should make it to Paris. Great.

Hey, but your car doesn't look so hot.

What hit you?

Maybe it's lucky for you that we stopped.

Now you can travel in comfort.

We're not going on a London bus, if that's what you had in mind.

Well, you're not going to get very far on your holiday in this thing. We're not

going on a holiday. We're on our way to an engagement.

We're a singing trio, and we're on our way to our latest and greatest

engagement. In six days. It's our first job.

Singers. Well, that's great.

We can have you wherever you want to be in a couple of days. Paris, Cannes,

Nice. Athens.

Athens.

Athens? I think it's conference time, gentlemen.

Ladies, excuse us a moment.

You start the ignition. We'll give it a push.

Come on.

Hey, if we go as far as Athens, maybe I can drive.

Yeah, maybe, Edwin.

Maybe. Yeah, well, those in favor of taking the girls?

Edwin? Oh, let's go.

Good news, girls.

My board of directors and myself have unanimously agreed to take you all to

Athens in the company coach as our guests.

You could have saved the board meeting. We're not hitchhikers. We've got

transport of our own.

Look, take it from me. We're all expert mechanics and, well, this car's a write

-off. Now, how do you know you haven't even looked at it? Yes, the least you

can do is look at it.

Very well, gentlemen.

Let's look at it.

What's it going to do? Just don't take any notice.

What are you doing?

Angie?

Get out!

Come on. Come on.

The bush upon the rotor pump is pushed into the floater sump.

It's wearing out the trunnion teeth by bearing on the cog beneath.

Which means in terms of tension swings, the seams of your suspension springs and

cyclic thirds are set apart.

In very simple words, dear ladies, your car won't start.

So we're making this offer.

Ride with us, come ride with us. Through the countryside with us.

For our bus has every comfort inside.

Now look what you've done.

Listen.

Do you mind?

To try to wrench the gyrosphere without a bench.

Would take all year.

Don't risk it like that on the road. The brisket feed line might explode.

The ball valves pass a hyper trend. There's something nasty around the bend.

The lubricant is running slow.

To put it very frankly, ladies, your car won't go slow.

Ride with us. Come ride with us.

Better be allied with us.

Here's an offer that is quite bona fide.

We are bleeding.

Please let us thank you for a ride.

you know i shouldn't be surprised that gasket hood looks pulverized the

shocking coil is now reversed so first you boil and then you burst compression

peaks will soon just stand the leak that leaks in your baguette and lastly coke

has got a hitch around the choke adjustment switch the fistless power is

dynamite and cutting out the parking light and promise shake your upside

break is needing a new drum

In fact, make no mistake, you've really had it, chum.

So, ride with us, come ride with us. Come ride with us, come ride with us.

Pass the forest and the riverside.

Take a tour with us, it's really nationwide.

Thank you.

Is it still open?

Girls, I think it's time for a conference.

Excuse us.

I think the problem is quite simple.

Do we take a nice, fast train to Athens that'll get us there on time... or shall

we risk it in a rickety old London bus with four strange boys?

Those in favour of the nice, fast train.

Sophie! Load the bus, boys. Here we come.

Where are you?

Look, we're staying in Paris as long as it takes to repair the bus, that's all.

A few hours at the most.

A few hours in Paris? Yeah, it could be like a lifetime.

Sen.

I've never met a singer before.

You must have.

Well, not a professional, I mean.

Well, you can't really call me a professional. I've never been a parent.

I bet you've got a lovely voice.

It's not really good enough to be a solo.

But in the trio, you don't notice it so much.

I bet I'd notice it anywhere.

Would you?

So then we decided to call ourselves Do Re Mi.

I thought of that. Do you like it? Yeah.

I think a good name for an act is very important.

I think a good name for an act is very important.

Yes, I've heard that.

Of course I've heard it. I said it.

Hey, Charlie, has anyone ever told you that you are the most beautiful girl

I've ever seen?

Do you call everyone Charlie?

No, only the people I dig.

Why, Charlie?

I don't know.

It's a up name. Happy, you know what I mean.

Oh, like good time, Charlie? Yeah, that's right.

Do you like my name, Angie?

Oh, I think it's the most, Charlie.

Everything went down. Everything's fine.

I know, I know, but we've got to get going.

Well,

you do want to get to Athens.

Yep, he's right. Let's go. Come on. Where's Steve?

We gotta go. All right, let's stop now.

Hell yeah.

Yeah. All right, we must get out in about five minutes.

Time to go.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Not too loud.

You must have disturbed the neighbors.

Where did you get to tonight?

Oh, I went to a cafe near the garage.

Had a great meal.

Food! Of course, food. I knew we'd forgotten something. Food! Girls, to the

kitchen. You know, I'd like to start off with some lovely French onion soup,

followed by a roast duck in orange sauce, finishing with a crepe of

Suzette. Well, you'll have baked beans.

With an egg on top.

And like it. Now, turn off the music and help me lay the table.

Come on. Well, watch it. Mind the disc.

Look out back there. We're coming to a railway crossing.

Edwin!

Not me this time.

Hey, what was that?

I think we've got mice.

King-size mice.

I think we'd better find out who's up there.

Girls, stay down here. Boys, let's take a look. Take a look.

Oh, come on.

It's a boy.

Yeah, he looks frightened.

Hey, what do you know? Our first stowaway.

All right, young fella, what's it all about?

Maybe he doesn't understand English.

I speak French.

Parlez-vous français?

Oui.

Him alone, can't you see? He's scared.

Yes, poor little boy. He can't be more than 14.

Well, he should be able to talk. He's probably hungry.

Well, he can't understand. You watch.

Manger?

Manger? Yes, that settles it. No more questions till he's had something to

eat. Come on.

You're English.

American.

How old are you?

14.

Have you run away from home?

Well, where do you want to get to?

We're going to Athens.

That's where I want to go.

Oh, well, you eat your meal, and we'll see what we can do.

I think we ought to bury the scraps outside.

Cyril?

And we'll get the sleeping bags ready.

Have you finished?

What are we going to do, Don? We can't leave them here, that's for sure.

Perhaps we could drop him off at the next police station.

No. If we do that, we're bound to get tired with French red tape for at least

a month. Well, maybe he's run away from home.

He said he hasn't got a home. Probably just a hitchhiker. There are dozens of

them all over.

Well, we've got to make up our minds quickly, because that is what pushed for

time. To get to Athens?

Yeah. We've got to rush through France, Switzerland, Austria, and then we've got

two days for Yugoslavia and Greece.

That means we'll get to Athens by Saturday.

Do we take him?

Crazy.

Carry these, Edwin.

Walt, looks like you got yourself a ride. What's your name?

Bobby.

Welcome aboard, Bobby. My name's Don.

Steve. Sandy.

I'm Cyril.

Angie. Lindsay.

Hello. The one outside, Edwin.

Listen, we'd better turn in. We've got an early start tomorrow morning.

Good night, girls.

Good night, boys.

Good night. You stay here with us.

You always sleep with all your clothes on?

Yes. Good night.

How does this sound?

Well, we've picked up lots of culture. Love, Sandy. Oh, that's fine, Sandy.

How about this one to Ken?

Dear Ken, the world is beautiful.

Things really swing when you travel by bus.

The sky is bluer, the sun is brighter, and the girls are lovelier.

Signed, Don.

Hey, that's sheer poetry, man.

Yeah, but not very accurate.

We've been sitting here for nearly an hour, and I've not seen one lovely girl

yet. Oh, yeah?

A present can't be excluded.

How about them?

They're lovely. Oh, they're lovely.

What you guys don't understand is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

And when you're traveling, you're very beholden. Yeah.

Every girl is a beautiful girl when you're a

stranger in town.

And every chick looks so cute and slick.

When you're all alone and low down And then a smile

will open the door And in a little while

you'll be a stranger no more But till then every girl

is a beautiful girl When you're a stranger in any

town

Bonjour madame.

And then a smile will open the door.

And in a little while, you'll be a stranger no more.

But till then, every girl is a beautiful girl when

you're a stranger.

Your heart is in danger when you're a stranger in

time.

Hotel Napoleon, Paris, person to person, Mrs. Winters.

A TV show of her own, 10 weeks top money, and what does she do? She runs

out of here someplace without even signing a contract.

Children these days don't know how to spell gratitude.

You did say she could have a holiday.

She's a star. A star can't just loaf around for 10 weeks. A star must work

and work and work.

She's worked all her life, supported the three of us since she was four years

old. She had a childhood that any other child would envy.

While other girls were filling their heads with algebra and geometry, she was

learning practical things.

Like how to slip past the hotel clerk?

Oh, we traveled everywhere.

Running away from creditors. So she got to see the country, didn't she?

At that speed.

I don't want to speak to anyone.

Oh, how could she do this to me?

When I get hold of her, I'll give her a lesson she'll never forget.

Hi, honey, how are you?

Sure.

Who is it?

Barbara.

Barbara, baby, what are you doing to me? Oh, I just hope I never have to...

to death where are you never mind where i am mother i only called to let you

know how i was and so you wouldn't worry but baby where are you i'm not gonna

tell you where i am what do you mean you're not gonna tell me where you are

i'm your mother i have a right to know just a minute honey there's someone at

the door get on the other phone quick and have them trace this call now

barbara baby listen to me i'm your mother your own flesh and blood And if

you're not back here tonight by 6 o'clock, you're going to see flesh and

blood turned into cold, hard steel.

Mother, I'm having more fun than I've ever had, and I'm not coming back.

Now just get on the plane and go to New York, and I'll see you there in a few

weeks. Come on, Dawn, where are you going? No, I can't. I've got to go. Bye

-bye.

Barbara! Barbara!

paper stall in charmont i spoke to the proprietor he said the call was placed

by a little boy it was not i know barbara's voice when i hear it she's in

disguise what's she in disguise for so you can't find it are you intimating

that she ran away from me who's intimating what else did he say she's

traveling with a bunch of english kids on a london bus one of those big red

things and He heard them say something about going to Athens.

Athens? What would she want to go to Athens for?

I could tell you, but she wouldn't like it. Oh, here it is, Chamon.

Now, they'll be traveling along there. Their next stop would be Soixant.

What? Soixant?

Soixant. Well, I'll have her stop there.

Somebody bring up a towel.

Our local Catanova's having a second bath of the day.

Edwin. Oh, Bobby, just a favor. Take him up a towel. There's a good lad.

Me? You're not doing anything, are you?

Well, well, yes. In fact, I'm reading. This is very... One soft towel coming

up.

Hey, Bobby, tell him that's the last one. After this, he'll probably have to

use a handkerchief.

Hurry up with the towel.

Here you are. Thanks, Bobby.

Don't go away.

I want to speak to you a moment.

What about?

About you.

You're not in any kind of trouble, are you?

Who, me?

Whatever gave you that idea?

Well, you're a bit young to go wandering around Europe all by yourself.

Excuse me.

I can take care of myself.

I may be young, but I'm tough.

That's the way you want it.

Pass me my shorts.

Well, just you remember, if ever you need any help, you know where to come.

Oh, thanks.

I'll get your shirt.

Two buttons missing. I'll sew them for... I'll get one of the girls to sew

them for you.

Yeah, I guess I'm better with a spanner than needle and cotton.

Pass me another.

Don, you need a woman to look after you.

Oh, no, not this one.

Mind you, girls are all very well, but at a distance.

Date them once... And then run.

Date them twice and they're getting serious.

They don't think the way we do, do they?

Oh, you're so right.

They're off with that chat about marriage and weddings and what's your

favorite name for a girl.

Next thing you know, you're hooked and wondering what hit you.

Nope. No girl is going to own me.

What if you fall in love, though? I mean, what if you meet a girl you want

to own? Oh, that'll never happen.

Could.

Suppose it did.

Well, I'd, uh...

I'd, uh... Oh, well, you wouldn't understand.

You're only 14.

And a half.

What's he doing?

Come on, let's go and see.

Would you get this character in the road? What is he doing?

What's with you, Charlie?

You tired of life or something? What do you think he is? I don't know. Who's

that?

What do you think he wants?

I think he wants to ask you something.

I've got it, I've got it. I think he's

got it.

He's stuck here and he wants us.

To give him a lift to the next town. Oh, very funny. Well, surely there must be a

similar way to ask somebody. I don't think he speaks English. I don't think

he speaks.

I do not have to speak, mon vieux. I am the great Orlando.

I speak the most international language of all, the language of mime.

How's that?

I can say anything I wish with my hands.

Very good. My face.

Say something.

I think he wants a lift.

Actions speak louder than words.

How's this?

Time is flying.

You have to be off.

And if you want a lift, hoverboard.

And while we are speeding along the highway, I will teach you all the

magical mysteries of mime with, of course, the assistance of my company.

Good morning. Good morning. Hi, Annie. Hi. We found Barbara. She'll be back

tonight. No.

No, no. Don't let her come home. Oh, Jerry, you mustn't be hard on her. Think

how I feel. Stella, look. You're only her agent, but I'm her mother. I've

given up my life for her career.

True, you have. I could have thought of myself all these years, but no.

All I thought about was her security, her success. Look, Stella, will you

please read this?

It made the front page.

Well, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

Look, this is the greatest thing that could have happened, and you know why?

Because it's unnatural.

We didn't dream it up. You couldn't buy this kind of publicity for a million

bucks.

Look, Hedda Hopper got on the phone to me this morning. She did?

Yeah, well, she wanted the inside story of Barbara's disappearance, see?

She didn't think it was phony. No, no, no.

She said she wasn't at all surprised the kid ran away because she'd met you. Oh,

Jerry, that's one... What do you mean by that?

Well, who knows?

Look, the main thing is Barbara must not be brought back. We've got to milk this

for all it's worth, and it's worth at least ten days, maybe two weeks. Can you

imagine it? For two weeks, all over the world, people doing nothing but reading

about and talking about Barbara Winters. Everywhere.

London, Paris, Rome, New York, Hollywood.

Hollywood?

The Academy Award.

Stella. She mustn't come back.

What have I been saying? Where is she now?

Well, she met up with a bunch of English kids and they're on a London bus going

to Athens.

A London bus? That's going to attract attention. We've got to get it off the

road. Maybe we could have them arrested.

Arrested? For what? I don't know.

Wait a minute. I bet they haven't got a license to carry passengers on that bus.

What, are they carrying passengers?

What do you think Barbara is, baggage?

Ah. Now, look.

They'll be coming along here. Call the police at that place and have them

stopped. Yeah, Swixon.

What?

Swixon. Yeah, hello.

Yeah, we'd like to place a call to the police at Swixon.

Mention the name of that official we met at dinner the other night. Yeah, Swixon.

S-O-I-X... Oh, come on. Soissant. Yeah, fine, eh? Oh, cheers.

Oh, yeah, she got the breakfast all right. Look, police.

Soissant. That's right.

Thank you. Quickly.

But really, sir, we weren't taking any money, just giving them lifts. They were

in the road and they were all by themselves. I have definite information

that you are applying for hire in this dangerous bus.

You shall be made an example of. We cannot have such dangerous conduct in

France, the country of good, careful drivers.

You will be remanded in the custody of this town pending further investigation

into this incident.

But we're just tourists on our way to Greece. This entire affair is fraught

with duplicity.

But I dare say we shall have the whole thing solved in a week's time.

A week?

Silence!

Silence! We can't stay here for a week. We're going to be in Athens in five

days. Your Honor, we did not use the bus for hire.

Well, that is what you say.

But I have had word from Paris that says differently.

We don't know anybody in Paris.

We have had information from Bonaparte.

Napoleon Bonaparte?

No, Jaime Bonaparte.

He is no relation but very high up in the ministry.

And if he says that you are bus passenger transporters, bus passenger

transporters you are.

Until you prove differently.

Monsieur le president.

Yes? Perhaps I can be of some assistance.

Who are you?

I am the great Orlando, leader of this troop of entertainers.

So, now you are entertainers. A moment ago, you were tourists.

A tourist can be many things. Truly, we are all entertainers.

I suppose this can be proved.

Monsieur, I ask nothing more than that you permit us to entertain you.

Very well.

Begin. Merci bien. Now I beg a few moments of the court's time to

organize... No, no, no, no, no. You want to give a show, you give it. Here and

now. But we have need of props, makeup, costumes. If you are entertainers, all

you need is talent.

Very well.

You can have ten minutes to get ready.

And then you either begin your show or your jail sentence.

Very vite!

Pardon, Monsieur le Président.

You wish to get out of here, do you not? Yes.

You will perform.

We can't. We don't have.

You will learn.

In ten minutes?

Oui. Look, we haven't even got a script.

We three are very professional performers.

We can't go out there saying any old lines.

Who has mentioned any old lines? Have you already forgotten what I told you?

Actions speak louder than words.

Quick, quick, quick!

Josephine, hurry up!

Come on, quick, my children!

Quick, quick, quick, my friends, quick!

You understand?

Action!

Hey.

Bye.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Me, if you ever need work, my boy, that's a splendid imitation of a girl.

Hello.

Look, I know I owe you all an explanation, but I just can't. Please,

if I could just go along and pay my fare and be treated like any of the other

girls.

Careful, you don't know what you're saying.

You don't owe us an explanation.

You're welcome aboard the bus, and that's for paying.

Why don't you come along as a friend?

Well,

I must say, you've done all right for yourself.

That's a very nice girl.

All I did was ask her along on the bus. Yeah, she seemed very grateful.

Hey, what's this?

This is not a running buffet.

Yeah, I'd watch that girl.

You know what they say about American dollies.

Well, Cyril, not this boy.

Who is he?

When I was young, my father said, son, I have something to say.

And what he told me, I'll never forget until my dying day.

He said, son, you are a bachelor boy and that's the way to stay.

Son, you'll be a bachelor boy until your dying day.

When I was 16, I fell in love with a girl as sweet as can be.

But I remember just in time what my daddy said to me.

He said, son, you are a bachelor boy and that's the way to stay.

Son, you'll be a bachelor boy until your dying day.

As time goes by, I probably will meet a girl and fall in

love. Then I'll get married, have a wife and a child, and they'll be my turtle

dove. But until then, I'll be a bachelor boy, and that's the way

I'll stay.

Happy to be a bachelor boy until my dying day.

But until then, I'll be a bachelor boy, and that's the way I'll stay.

Happy to be a bachelor boy until my dying day.

Well, they didn't.

That's French justice for you. How long have they been gone?

Uh, we, uh, monsieur, a few hours.

Well, come on, then. We shouldn't have any trouble finding a London bus on the

road. Look, Stella, they'll have to be in Switzerland by now.

So we'll stop them in Switzerland.

Moo! Oh, the agonies of motherhood.

Cyril, where's my breakfast?

Isn't it your turn to take over yet?

Yeah, be with you in a minute, Steve.

As soon as I finish shaving.

Come on, Cyril. Steve's breakfast is ready.

Does this bus never stop?

You know, I never stopped a week last night.

In that case, you'll remember that we stopped at the Swiss Frontier last

night. Did we?

If we can keep this up, we should be in Athens in plenty of time.

Hey, Steve, pull over a bit.

There's something coming off the road like a flipping rocket.

Hey, where's the fire, Charlie?

Do you think they saw us? At this speed, even I can't see us.

Well, they'll never get up that road. They'll have to take the other route

about a mile back.

Remove that sign.

But Stella, if they go up there, they'll have to get stuck on the mountain.

So what are we here for?

You're so right.

What's slowing us down?

This hill.

I think it's a one-in-one.

Sarah, listen to me.

Don't turn around.

Now, look, you and the others are still a bit worried about Barbara. I have an

idea.

The bus stalls.

You and the others walk up the hill with the gear, just to make it look

authentic. I drive Barbara up and find out all about her.

I've got a better idea. What? We drive the bus and you walk up the hill.

Do you want me to find out about her?

Yes. Good. Just back me up.

I'll give the performance of my lifetime.

I'll probably get a Bassman's Oscar.

Go on.

Bachelor boy.

Just tell me when.

When!

Edwin! Sorry, Cyril.

Think you can make it now? Yeah, wish me luck.

I'd better take someone with me, though, just in case I run into any kind of

trouble.

How about you, Barbara?

Well, Sandy, you're the lightest.

Oh, no, I want to stay with Cyril.

Yeah, come on, Barbara.

All clear? Good luck, Charlie.

Good luck.

Ready when you are.

Are you sure you know where you're going, Edwin?

You know, I think this mountain keeps growing as we climb.

Hey, look.

Oh, it's got no collar.

Look, and no brandy. Wouldn't you know, we find the only St. Bernard in

Switzerland with no brandy. Story of my life.

Here we go, then.

He wants to join us.

Maybe we can take him with us to Athens.

He doesn't seem to belong to anyone.

You want to go to Athens, Charlie?

Well, that settles it.

But I'm warning you, if you turn out to be a girl too, then I'm leaving the bus.

Come on, Charlie.

We made it.

What's so funny?

Oh, I know.

You're laughing at me because of all those things I said to you yesterday.

No, no, I agree.

I think you were perfectly right.

I was?

Yes.

Why should a girl think that she owns a fella just because he holds her hand?

You know, I brought you up here to find out all about you, but...

Now I don't think it matters.

Thank you.

Hey, Barbara, wait a minute.

Barbara! I know what bothers you.

Maybe you think I'm going to be like every other girl you've ever known.

Afraid I'm going to try to help you. Want to own you.

Well, may I tell you something?

I don't want to own you.

I don't even want to rent you.

So, you haven't got a thing to worry about.

Sure, I'm not committing any crime, am I? I just want to be, well, free, that's

all. I have nothing against love. It's just that it ought to be easy and

casual. Fun.

That's right.

Yeah, that's right.

It's too light to go on forever.

I don't think anything should go on forever.

I lose interest in things after an hour.

Hey, we really see eye to eye, don't we?

On everything.

You know...

I could be interested in you. Feel free.

Well... Ours will be a swinging affair.

We won't be tied.

We'll stay as free as air.

For we won't care what tomorrow brings.

It'll be just one of those swinging things.

Ours will be a swing and a fair.

We will just be a very casual pair.

For love won't make us an April fool.

Now we've both decided we play it cool.

We'll share a few laughs.

We'll share in our date.

We'll share a few kisses when it's growing late. And though the stars

and moon may shine up above, we'll enjoy the magic,

but we won't fall in love.

Ours will be a ring-a-ding-ding, just for

kicks. We two will have our fling, and we'll have fun while there's time

to spare.

Oh, we'll both enjoy our swinging affair.

What's the matter? Nothing. It was fun while it lasted.

But, but, but, but... It can't go on forever.

I'll always remember you.

Hey, let's have a swinging affair.

We won't be tied.

We'll be as free as air.

For we won't care what tomorrow brings.

It'll be just one of those swinging things.

Ours will be a swinging affair.

We'll just be a very casual pair.

For love won't make us an April fool.

Now we've both decided we'll play it cool.

We'll share a few laughs.

We'll share on our date.

We'll share a few kisses.

Enjoy the magic, but we won't fall in love.

Ours will be a ring-a-ding-ding.

Just four kicks, three-five, we'll have our fling. And we'll have

fun while there's time to spare.

For we'll all enjoy our swing in a fair. Hey, hey, hold on. I'm sorry. No, no.

No, no.

We'll enjoy the magic, but we won't fall in love.

Ours will be a ring-a-ding-ding.

Just four kicks, we five will have our fling. And we'll

pretend we are not aware.

This is more, so much more than a swing and a fair.

Hey,

John!

Excuse me, excuse me.

Hi. Hi. Hey, where's Cyril? Oh, he's just coming. Hey, we've got a new

passenger, too. Oh, you'll never guess what it is. Yes, it's a... Randy.

Randy.

No sign of the

bus yet? Nope.

Are you sure there isn't another road they could take? Not unless they built a

new one since yesterday.

Look, quit worrying. After three days, we move in for the big dramatic rescue.

Yeah, I'll organize a couple of hundred photographers that just happen to be

around. Oh, watch it. We're not dealing with normal kids, you know. They're more

like a bunch of Houdinis.

Well, we'll just stake out the road from here. I'll do tonight, and you take over

in the morning. I couldn't sleep with my darling daughter dying of exposure up

there on that mountain.

Oh, I'm sorry, Stella.

I've never been a mother.

Would you like something to eat? Just something simple.

Oh, my poor baby up there dying of starvation. Champagne.

Truffles.

Smoked salmon and asparagus.

Hey, look.

I knew it.

What did I tell you, a bunch of Houdinis?

Follow that bus.

Yeah, yeah.

Wait, Cyril. Up, Stevie's on in five minutes.

It'll be a pleasure.

Cyril!

Come on.

What do you want to wake me up for?

I was having a fabulous dream.

I dreamt I was on my holiday.

Oh, I know what he means. I feel as if I haven't been out of this bus for a week.

Wouldn't it be marvellous if we could get all dressed up and go out somewhere?

Oh, Marv.

We are all over boys so much.

Why don't we, the next time we come to a town, take them out and give them a huge

feast on us?

With dancing and champagne?

Yes, I want to really dress up as soon as we begin to live together. I'm a

girl. All right, those in favor? Oh, yes.

Okay, you tell them, Angie. Okay, boys, boys.

My partners and I would like to have the honor to invite you to be our guests at

our coming out party tonight.

Coming out? Coming out of where?

Coming out of the bus party, Amy. At the next town we come to. Oh, that's great.

Well, the next town should be tough, so you've got half an hour to get ready,

girls. Well, I'd rather have a shave.

Well, how about this then? A ritzy-looking joint. Well, maybe we can

find a smaller place.

Not since this is our treat.

The best is good enough.

It looks like I'm not left to me.

Don't be filthy, Edwin.

What's filthy about the motley?

There's no more wine.

Well, we'll have some more. A Freulein, a bit of Schoen and a bit of wine. No,

just some more wine.

Have one more glass of wine.

Yes, I will have some. This is the nicest place that we have been.

Yes, it reminds me, though, of some place that I know. I've seen it all

before. Where?

Whitehorse Inn.

Something is happening to me Suddenly I'm on my feet

and As the music flows through I belong to the soul with the 1

2 3 beat

It's happening to me and me and me.

Is this me here really waltzing?

Is this me here being so square?

This is me here, really waltzing to a V who needs one, two, three.

And if you'll pardon me the simile, I'm Gromberg and friendly.

How can this be me?

I got the urge to wear sharp leather trousers and dance the waist trousers,

play the mouses. Give me some trousers dressed up in cute blouses, helping

their spouses tie bells on their cows.

Really waltzing here.

And so we'll hear Ridley Walsing as we take our

partners and bow.

We say a play about the houses of all the feast houses, but all the same we

must kowtow to the rhythm, catchy rhythm.

All the violins play and we've got to go with them. We're Walsing, Ridley

Walsing. Look at us, really waltzing down.

What are you doing?

Don.

I've got to speak to you.

Something's happened.

Oh, not to the bus.

Hang the bus. Something's happened to me.

What is it?

Remember those things I said to you about the way I feel about love?

Oh, I haven't forgotten a thing.

You want to be free.

You don't want to be owned.

We didn't go through all that again now.

I want you to forget it. I want you to forget everything I said. I don't want

to be free.

I do want to be owned.

And I am in love.

You sure it isn't the wine and the music?

No, it's not the wine, the women, or the song. It's you.

You, you, Y-O-U, Y-O-U.

Why O-U?

Because I love you, that's why.

All at once, it's you.

It's you for me.

And all at once, there's blossom on each tree.

it's so thrilling and so new to me this enchantment

that you do to me and forever in your spell

i'll be all

at once my doubts and fears are bad

I feel as though I've come back home at last.

I thought I was fancy free till I felt this

magic glow.

You don't believe me?

I just don't want you to say anything I'll regret later.

I swore I'd never tell a girl I loved her, but I'm telling you now.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you!

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I...

Am I boring you?

No, you're hurting me a little, but I'm riveted.

Go on.

Oh, I'm sorry. I got so carried away with the way I felt, and I thought that

when I told you how I felt and how you'd feel and how...

How do you feel?

Just for the record, I've loved you ever since I was a little boy.

I thought I was fancy free, till I felt this

magic glow.

Here, hide it well. They mustn't see it.

What does it have to be this? This is worth a fortune. So it's insured.

Besides, if we keep the story running long enough, I'll have hundreds of them.

Cufflinks for you.

Mission accomplished. Not quite.

We've got to inform the Yugoslav border guards that a valuable diamond penned

him dismissing.

How do you get these fabulous ideas?

Pure mother love. Now let's get going.

Those are the ones we're waiting for. And me too.

Get the guards!

Guards!

Out of the way!

Quickly!

Get dressed, guys!

Get in line!

Quickly! Out of the way!

Out of the way!

Out of the way! Throw us out of the way!

Come on!

Search!

Hey, look, here's my passport. I'm a foreigner. Do you mind?

Listen, I'm an English citizen. I'm a British. I've got a British passport.

Look, that's my face. Look.

It seems

the

natives are restless.

Goodbye, Don.

It was nice knowing you.

What do you think they're looking for?

I told you we shouldn't have tried to smuggle a bus.

Do you think Charlie's got a license?

Maybe they're searching for dangerous weapons. In that case, we can say

goodbye to Steve's Broncos.

What are you doing here? Get in the car.

Something's wrong with these. What did I tell you?

Excuse

me,

Miss. I'm sorry, that won't happen again.

Let's get out of here before they chase their minds.

What are we going to do then? I'll convince the cops. Who's going to answer

for this? You're going to answer for this. You're not worth anything. I'm

going to kill you.

Don't mean it. Did you see that, Cyril? Yeah, isn't it marvellous? Everybody

seems to be driving Thunderbirds over here. I'm not so sure everybody does.

That looks like the same one to me.

Put

it

over there.

That road ought to delay them for a couple of hours.

With a little luck, they might even get lost.

Over here?

No!

Lost? I think we should have gone the other way. That danger sign must be

wrong. This isn't the main road.

Oh, I don't know. This is a pretty wild country.

Look, you probably think I'm a bit mad, but I've got the strangest feeling that

someone's trying to stop us getting to Athens.

Who'd do that?

Well, I don't know.

It's just that we're getting into too much trouble and having too many delays.

And how about that Thunderbird being everywhere?

That was just a coincidence.

Perhaps he's trying to get to Athens, too.

Yeah, maybe.

Look, don't send anything to the others. It'll only upset him.

Yeah? Can we have tea now? We've stopped.

Yeah, we may as well.

Ah, who's that darling?

Sustenance. Come on, girls, what fabulous dish have you prepared for our

tea? Well, we were going to have sandwiches, but we're short of one vital

ingredient. Yeah, what's that?

Who forgot to buy the bread?

Maybe it's the supermarket, Nick.

Hey, would you get a load of little boat peep out there? Where?

Where? Hey, little darling.

Hey! Maybe she could direct us to the nearest loaf of bread. Well, maybe.

Come on, let's go.

No, stay with us, Charlie.

Stay there, Charlie. Look after the girls.

Oh,

wait a minute.

What's Yugoslavian for bread?

Oh, hang on.

It's a guidebook. The thingamajigs are at the back.

See you. Bye.

Don't be long.

We just want to buy some bread.

Bread. She doesn't understand. She looks scared to death.

Oh, she's frightened.

Don't be afraid.

We know Hurtie.

We friends.

Friends.

Me Tarzan.

You Jane. Oh, she's not with it.

Actions speak louder than words.

Sing to her, sing to her. What for?

Well, then, you know, you're a friend. I mean, your enemies don't sing to you, do

they? Well, what'll I sing?

Well, it doesn't matter. She won't understand you.

Just sing something friendly.

Come on, he sings you something friendly.

Nice song, yes. Come on, yeah, come on. Oh, that's it.

You must have heard of a little bull peep.

She was the gal with all the sheep. Well, one day, it's sad to say, the

sheep all ran away.

She was lonely and she was blue.

She was sad and crying too. So I told her what to do. I said, put on your

dancing shoes.

Put on your dancing shoes.

Put on your dancing shoes.

Put on your dancing shoes.

Dance away your blues.

Hey,

try something else. I'll try another.

A friend of mine had an accident.

Laughed so hard off a wall he went.

Humpty Dumpty was his name I guess you've heard the same He was lying on

the ground Bits and pieces all around So I told him what to do I said, put

on your dancing shoes Put on your dancing shoes Put on your

dancing shoes Put on your dancing shoes Dance away your blues

I'm sure you know about Jack and Jill.

They're the ones that went up the hill.

Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.

What a noise their crying made.

It was a ringing through the glade. So I told them what to do and I changed their

tears to laughter.

Put on your dancing shoes.

Put on your dancing shoes.

Put on your dancing shoes.

Dance away your blues.

Put on your dancing shoes.

Put on your dancing shoes. Put on your dancing shoes.

Yeah, yeah.

Quick, while we got her in a good mood, what's the Yugoslavian for bread?

Nevgesta.

Nevgesta.

Not too much dough, enough for eight.

Are you sure Nefgesta means bread?

Hey, John.

Bread is chlib.

Well,

what does Nefgesta mean, then?

Bride.

Bride? Ah, let's get out of here.

Point!

and it'll be dark soon.

They've been gone almost an hour. An hour?

Those poor boys would be so happy.

We should have gone to Blackpool.

Keep moving, fellas. Keep moving, fellas.

Order the safety belts.

Excuse me.

Donald Preston?

Uh, yes. Oh, congratulations.

Well done, indeed, I must say.

My name's Wrightmore. I'm with the British Consul here. If there's anything

I can do to help... Well, what's all this about? I mean, how did you know we

were coming?

Well, actually, you've made quite a sensation.

The sight of a London bus travelling on the continent has aroused tremendous

curiosity, and the press are playing it big.

We've all been trying to follow your course.

Well, here's yesterday's Daily Mail.

It's us! Look, Steve!

That London bus operated by four young mechanics would seem to be making its

way to Greece.

A trio of singers known as Do, Re, and Mi are known to be aboard the bus, as

well as an unidentified American girl.

Come on! Come on!

The bus was last seen. Continue page three.

Oh, quick!

for the kidnapping of Barbara Winters.

Baby, baby!

Mother, what on earth are you doing?

A million dollars worth of publicity.

I swear I didn't know anything about this, Don.

Oh, sure.

Just do me a favor. The next time you want to travel, take a plane.

Don't bother. There must be some mistake.

I'll get you out.

Well, at least we'll be comfortable till the trial.

Yes, all right.

Nice.

Girls, the boys and I'd like to say that, well, we're sorry, aren't we?

What for?

Well, if you'd caught your train, you'd be working instead of facing a kidnap

charge. Oh, boys, the girls and I would like to say we wouldn't have missed it

for the world, would we?

No. There.

I'll see you later.

Don, where are you going?

Nowhere. I just want to get some fresh air.

Oh, I wonder what it'll be like to sleep... without stopping for red lights

all the time i wonder what's happened to don don's got an acute case of the blues

and i think we should just let him get it out of his system

they

say i'll love again someday true love will come my way

The next time.

But after you there'll never be a next time

for me.

They say that I'll find happiness in someone else's warm

caress. The next time.

I'll soon forget your kiss and heartaches such as this will just

be ancient history.

They say that I'm a fool to weep, that I won't go on losing sleep

the next time.

That someone else will mend the heart you've broken.

into but

how can I fall in love

the next time

when I'm still so very

much in love with you

They say that I'm a fool to weep, that I won't go on losing sleep

the next time.

That someone else will mend the heart you've broken into.

next time when i'm still so

very much in love with you

when i'm still

so very much in love

Just walking.

Well, who's that, then?

Must be the house detective.

Mr. Wrightmore.

You all right?

Depends on what you mean by everything.

A cable came for you this morning.

Your request for additional buses for your project approved.

Stop. We will give you all the support we can. Stop. Very proud of you all.

Stop. Signed, Onslow Harbour for London Transport.

If we had all those buses, maybe I could drive.

Maybe, yeah.

All the way to the local jail.

Ooh. Oh, yeah.

Just wait till I hear that we've been accused of kidnapping our first

passenger. Look, Mr. Wrightmore, we never kidnapped that girl.

She boarded the bus of her own accord.

Her mother must be suffering from delusions.

Yes, you're not far wrong.

I've just been talking to Mrs. Winters. They're both up and just down the

corridor. She's having a press conference in the ballroom at six.

What's Barbara's room number?

483, I think. Thank you, Mr. Wrightmore.

Hey, darling, you...

Who is it?

Me.

Go away.

Not in your life.

Now, you listen here to me, Miss Barbara Winders, if that's your real name.

I don't care what you've done or why you did it.

The fact is I'm in love with you.

Don.

Of course, I realize it was nothing but a publicity stunt for you.

What beats me is why you didn't go the whole hog and marry me.

Yes, I'd love to.

Now that would be a great story.

Big American star marries bus mechanic.

I'd love to. I can see it now.

Ten inch banner headlines.

What did you say?

I said I'd love to marry you.

Barbara. I love you.

Shouldn't we open the door?

She's locked me in.

It isn't any good. She says that if I ever see you again, she'll put you and

the others in jail for years and years. Leave me to deal with your mother.

But you don't know her. I'll see to her.

Oh, Dan, you don't know what she can do. I said I'll deal with your mother.

Don't go away now. I won't. But, Dan...

Take your seats, please. Take your seats, please. Thank you. Thank you very

much. I got you all here today to give you the lowdown on this story.

It's not a very pretty story. It's a bit rugged.

Still, it's kind of a beautiful story at that, because it concerns a mother.

Not just a mother, but an American mother.

And here she is, that self-same American mother, the very beautiful and charming

Stella Winters.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, my story begins seven days ago.

Not a long time, you'll say, but a whole lifetime for a mother whose daughter has

been kidnapped.

Come on!

Barbara!

The boys will get you out. I've got to go. I've got an important date with the

press. Get weaving, Steve. Crazy.

Come on, sir. You're the smallest.

Yeah, but you're the strongest.

Edward. No, that's it! That's it! No, careful!

Come on, get in. I'm not used to fire!

Cyril!

Cyril? You pushed.

Cyril! What are you doing?

Hurry up. We haven't got all day.

Careful. Come on.

Ow!

Am I hurting you, Cyril?

No. No.

We've got you.

You okay, Barbara? Right, let's go.

Hey, fellas!

Finally,

here in Athens, I caught up with those hoodlums.

And now my lovely daughter, Barbara, is back with me. Right now, I ask only one

thing. I'd like to meet up with one of those hoodlums face to face.

Well, that shouldn't be difficult.

I'm one of them.

This is a hood you you've got a nerve turning up here There are two sides to

every question and I thought the gentleman of the press would like here

outside It's okay. Well, how about it? Listen kid.

We're not interested in taking sides. We are interested in you You've got

something to say say it. All right big news big news Big news big news

Have you heard the news?

Here's some news to hit the headlines.

Tell your papers. But I'll hold page one.

Have you heard the news?

I'll give you a headline story.

You'll be cheering when my story's done.

Gentlemen, I want to make a statement.

I want you all to hear.

Listen closely to me for the story of the year.

I found a plan for living to last me all through life.

I'm gonna take that girl of mine and then make her my wife.

Have you heard the news?

Have you heard what I've been saying? I've been saying that she's the gal for

me.

Now here's another statement to all of you today.

When you get my story, then print the words I say in tenants banner

headlines for everyone to see.

I think we've got trouble.

What did you think of that, Mrs. Winters?

Why, a box? If Barbara were here, she'd tell you it's all a pack of lies. Do you

mean that if Barbara really loves this guy, you'd give your consent?

If my daughter loved that boy, I'd drop all charges.

All I care about is my darling baby's happiness.

Well, I do love him, Mother.

Is

it

true you're in charge of taking a party of 200 London buses to the Riviera next

year? 200 buses?

Will you be forming your own company soon?

He's going right to the top.

Oh, he needs someone to shape his career.

Is it true you're going to form an American branch of your company?

Jerry,

there's nothing we couldn't become.

A transport tycoon?

They'll make us a lord.

We'll be presented at court.

We'll currency.

Now look, Stella.

Stella. Now look, look, please.

Young man.

You may kiss me.

Baby! Oh!

Don. Ah.

Well, thanks again for everything, Mr. Wright. We'll be back as soon as we can.

Good. I've had a lot of requests from tourists who'd like to make this trip

with you. Well, you can tell them that Double Decker Tours will be ready for

business in about two weeks' time.

Till then, we're going to have the holiday we started out to have. Good

luck, Dom.

is for me or you For a week or two We're going where

the sun shines brightly We're going where the sea is blue We've seen

it on the movies Now let's see if it's true

Everybody has a summer holiday Doing things they always

wanted to So we're going on summer holiday to make a dream

come true.