Original subtitles

Now, you're all probably asking yourselves, how does Gabby get those

glasses to spin at the same time?

How and also why?

Because, Steve, every bartender needs a signature move.

And I have figured out a way to pour and stir three drinks at once using

centrifugal force.

Which, according to a video I watched, isn't a myth.

It might work, it might not.

Either way, we get a little show.

Now, I'm still workshopping a name for it. The new spin-sation, the revolving

port. The glass-tastrophe.

Sorry, Gabby. Love the enthusiasm, just not anything you do with it.

Yeah. You know what? You know what? You're right.

Spinning glassware, probably a dumb idea.

I guess I was due for one.

Well... I'm glad you stopped that so I can stay the fun bus.

Well, I had to. The last time I let her go full Gabby, I had to stop her with a

full Nelson.

You know, now wasn't the best time to work on a new signature move anyway.

My mom is coming to discuss decorating ideas for our house, and I have to

prepare.

Crystals? Yeah, yeah. See, my ideas are mostly vibe-based.

But that's because I'm living with a woman who's got bad vibes wafting off

her like Pigpen from Charlie Brown.

Hello, all.

I see you brought your special rocks.

They are healing crystals, Mom. Well, of course they are, and that's why they're

used in hospitals worldwide.

Sometimes it feels like a big old fight.

To get through the day and sleep on through the night. But here you'll find

a place that'll surely lift your spirits.

You belong in Hat Beach Place.

Some might call this pattern loud.

I call it unapologetic.

into a dining room with this wallpaper and you know the conversation is going

to be just as spicy as the chicken vindaloo yeah whatever okay

listen mom i i just want a few rooms to be a little more serene

you know put in some earth tones and natural light lots of plants floor poofs

if i am to thrive

I need to live in a home that reflects my personality.

Colorful. Bold.

A decorative exclamation point.

Like a scream.

Gabby's mom is steamrolling her.

Must be hard knowing you're the one who suggested they live together in the

first place.

Love you.

I had good intentions.

Sure enough, that road led them straight to hell.

All right, well, I am off to go furniture shopping.

Well, I mean, you know, should I come with you?

I'll tell you what.

I will pick out some furniture, have it delivered to the house. We'll have a

look at it, and then at some point, you'll just get used to it.

make all the decisions?

It's your house, too. Is it really your house if you don't have a key?

Okay, wait a minute. When did you get into crystals and stuff?

When I realized that her evil could only be defeated by another supernatural

power.

Well, then you take your special little rocks and go talk to your mother.

You know what?

You're right.

I will.

So you believe in crystals, too? I do not.

Did you email me those electrical bids for the speakeasy? Not yet, but I will.

Did Isabella look back when I said that? What was her reaction? Tell me

everything.

She walked and then she was gone?

Damn it.

So my therapist says I've been making great progress with my OCP.

That's great.

But it's never enough with her.

Now she wants me to practice not caring how people react to me.

Is that why you were rude to Isabella? Yes, to get a reaction and then react to

her reaction in a mindful way.

Hey, how do you do it? No matter how people react to you, you're always so

zen-like.

I am quite mellow.

Well, can you summon enough energy to tell me?

I close my eyes.

I picture the person that bothered me.

I wish them well.

And then I let them go.

You let them go?

I let them go.

I can't let anything go. I think too much.

Which is not to say I think you think too little. You think just right.

If your thinking were a bowl of porridge, Goldilocks would... You're

letting me go, aren't you?

You're already gone.

I did what you said.

Talked to my mom.

Stood up for myself.

Some tough words were said on both sides.

And it was decided that I should remove myself from the premises for the night.

Does your mom know you're here? Who do you think drove me?

I knew Gabby could snore like that.

I mean, I guess I'm not surprised. She's loud when she's awake.

I put a pillow over my face so I couldn't hear her.

Then I thought, why should the pillow be over my face?

Still, her mom kicked her out of the house. I feel bad for her.

I know.

I think I'm going to talk to Val.

It's a great idea.

Yes. I was thinking someone should, and I was hoping it wouldn't be me.

Still waiting on that email, Steve.

I'll get to it when I get to it.

Okay.

Snippy.

You snippy boys, you sure had that locked and loaded.

Goddamn.

I know I'm going to regret this, but... Hey, Steve, what's up?

I'm practicing not getting overwhelmed by people's feelings about me.

Well, that's admirable. How's it going? It's overwhelming.

I don't know how you do it. You don't give a rat's ass how you come off.

Thank you.

That's because I live my life as best I can. All the rest of that noise, I just

shut out.

I can't do that.

Well, sure you can.

When people tick you off, just imagine.

You're a castle wall and all their crap just bounces right off.

Well, that's easy for you. You're already so wall-like. I'm like a tent

flap.

Well, you might surprise yourself. I'll tell you what.

Show me your best wall face.

You forgot your fanny ointment last night.

And I didn't want a rash to be the reason you felt the need to come home

too early.

Thank you.

And thank you for announcing fanny ointment as if from a prison yard

loudspeaker.

Uh, Val, can I speak to you?

Well, I'm certain you can, but do you mean...

May I?

Yep, still want to talk to you.

Well, what a charming office.

You know, there are entire books written about ridding your life of clutter.

But you're just sticking to your guns, and I say bravo.

Yeah, well, I thought we could have just a quick little chat about Gabby. Good.

Yes. Compare notes.

All right. I know that it's a little tricky with the mother-daughter

relationship. Oh, full-time job, no pay, and I'm still waiting for the benefits.

Well, I just thought that you could go a little easier. Easier on Gabby instead

of just shooting her down all the time. Well, I'm sorry. I'm confused.

You have a problem with the way I treat her.

Well, yeah.

Well, you treat her the same way.

What's that now?

I applaud it. I think we make a very good team. I keep her in check at home.

You keep her in check at work with the Gabby guardrails. Oh.

I mean, sometimes I might guide her away from certain things, but that's only

because I don't want her to go full Gabby.

You say that phrase, too.

Oh, this is so much fun.

That doesn't mean anything.

I mean, it's just two meaningless words that I swear I'll never, ever say again.

And you shutting down her little carnival trick with the spinning

glasses? I had to do the exact same thing when she decided to fumigate our

house with sage.

Bobby, you and I are simpatico.

I don't want to be simpatico. Do not fight it. The connection is too strong.

Bring it in, sister. Bring it in.

Oh, my gosh.

I have that same top.

you guys up to?

Oh, just getting ready for the dinner rush.

I hear that.

Busy, busy, busy.

Yep.

You okay?

Me? No, I'm fine.

Fine, yeah.

Just got through talking to Val.

I'm sorry.

That's great.

She said we're alike because we treat Gabby the same.

Said we're like Gabby Gardwells.

I mean, you both sort of keep an eye on her.

Making sure she doesn't go, what do you call it, full Gabby? I said that maybe

half a dozen times and that's my dang catchphrase?

Hey,

Gabby,

I've been thinking.

Is this about my rash?

It's like a wildfire and 25% contained.

I've been too quick to shoot down your bartender move.

It may be the thing this place needs.

You want to show me?

Really? No, you know, in front of customers?

Why not?

Okay. You may want to back up just a little bit.

Okay, okay.

Wow. All right.

What changed your mind?

Well, I talked to your mom.

Oh, thank you.

And she thinks we treat you the same way.

Really? I don't remember you dropping me off a block from grade school so you

wouldn't be embarrassed.

No, but I do shoot down a lot of your ideas, even the ones that work.

Yeah, but it's kind of your job.

You're my boss. I'm also your friend.

And I never want to do anything to make you feel like she makes you feel.

Well, you'd never make me feel bad.

I want you to feel great.

Gabby, you're a rare and special person. You bring light and laughter to everyone

you meet.

Oh, okay.

Wow.

Oh, I feel incredible.

There you go.

Yeah, I feel like I could even take down King Kong.

and I'm going to sage the heck out of that place.

Gabby, you've got three more hours on your shift. Thanks, Bobby!

He did what?

Steve!

I was trying to do a good thing.

I cannot believe you deliberately withheld a work email and were rude to

me as some kind of experiment.

It wasn't an experiment.

I needed someone to have a negative reaction so I could practice not caring.

Oh, well, congratulations.

You just hit the jackpot.

I'm sorry, okay?

Didn't work anyway.

In the end of the day, I'll always care about everyone's opinion of me.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

I may not look it, but I'm a highly sensitive person.

saleswoman who tried to convince you you were an autumn.

Bullies. She wouldn't know an autumn if it threw up leaves all over her.

Or the driver who cut you off and then flipped you off. He wasn't a person. He

was an animal.

Okay, you didn't care what those people thought about you. Fine, but I'll always

care about the opinions of people who I like.

So will I.

So will everyone else who isn't a sociopath.

What's your point?

I don't think your therapist meant that you shouldn't care about anyone's

opinion. Just don't obsess so much over the opinions of people you don't care

about.

I think I can do that.

I know you can.

Now send me that email, or I will fold you up like a little piece of origami.

I don't care if you do.

I'm kidding.

them or shall you i'll tell them gabby's saging started a fire what

is everything okay no no don't worry the house is fine there was just some smoke

damage and the firemen thought that we should give the place the night to air

out and they also thought we were sisters oh my god

well come on in

make yourselves at home uh before you welcome in my daughter Are you sure

those curtains are fire retardant?

Come on, Val.

I mean, I know you guys are shaking up a little bit, but let's not make Gabby

feel worse than she already does.

No, Bobby.

It's okay. I deserve it.

Don't blame yourself entirely, dear. I think we can scrape some of the blame

onto Bobby's plate.

Excuse me? I didn't want Gabby to sage.

Where were the Gabigard reds?

I distinctly remember two like-minded women bonding in a wildly cluttered

office.

We didn't bond, and we're not like-minded.

Oh, you should be flattered to be compared to me. If anything, I'm the one

who should be upset.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, if I'm being honest, I often find you unrefined and cheerless.

Churlish means surly. I know that.

She says churlishly.

Okay, enough.

Thank you. No.

You.

It is one thing when you make me feel bad about myself, but you are not going

to do it to my friends.

After all that speech therapy and you've still got the spittle.

And you know what?

You don't get to make me... feel bad about myself either mommy

dearest I

am tired of having to defer to your wishes all of the time you know you

can't keep shutting me down I am trying to keep you alive or did you forget that

we currently smell of sage smoke and a gorgeous fireman's cologne

like freedom.

And from now on, things are going to change between you and me.

Well, what does that mean? That means that you are not always going to get

your own way.

I am decorating part of the house whether you like it or not.

There will be poof!

Yes! You tell her, Gabby.

Yeah. Oh, scary shark eyes.

Fine.

But not the living room.

or the dining room or the family room or the kitchen but perhaps i will let you

make the garage into your own little island of serenity the garage

i got the garage

here we go oh wish we had

popcorn so i ended up going with the palo santo smudge

Yeah, you know, why pussyfoot around?

Here comes Cruella DeVille.

Back from the puppy farm or wherever she goes.

Okay, what you didn't see here was that she startled me and this smudge flew

into a box of rags. Which, why do we have a box of rags?

Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward.

And here she is, pushing her daughter into the flames to get her phone

charger.

She's either drinking vodka or goat's blood. You know, whatever keeps her

alive.

Fast forward, blah, blah, blah.

Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward.

Here's my mom hitting on the chief.

She made a joke about his fire hose.

Little did he know the real danger was outside the house.

Gabby, you deserve a drink for reliving this. Amen. You know what?

We all do.

Poured at the same time.

Courtesy of my new move.

The full Gabby.