Original subtitles

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

You're late, darling.

Don't be afraid.

You've wanted this for a long time.

I know your secret.

I know your secret desire.

You desire...

death!

And cut.

Okay, people, back to one

We're gonna do it again.

What do you mean "again"?

What was wrong with that?

Let's just say that it wasn't perfect.

Oh! Now, there is a helpful bit of direction.

"It wasn't perfect."

Look, in this scene, your character is almost possessed.

You weren't giving me possessed.

You were giving me, uh, a walk in the park.

Let me tell you something, junior,

I was playing this part when you were in diapers,

and I can still play this part better than anybody else around.

The problem here is you don't know what you're doing.

Oh, well, the studio thinks that I do.

In fact, they've got millions riding on my track record.

A couple of music videos,

and a movie starring a robot

with enough explosives to blow up China.

Well, hell, we don't have a director here.

What we have

is a glorified fire marshal.

All this from a woman whose thespian artistry

has included such film classics as S is for Satan,

Dance of the Dead and Terror Town Part 1,2,3,4

and 5.

A woman who has based her entire film career

on her ability to scream while running around in her underwear.

I have a bit of helpful direction for you, Ms. McKay...

learn how to act.

Unforgivable!

Exits have always been Mom's forte.

Look, Susan, go after her and try and calm her down,

would you please?

Sorry, not my department.

Hey, do anything, just get her back on the set.

Mm. Does she have to be alive?

Ms. McKay, understand the crew hates him

just at much as you do, I swear.

We're on your side.

Please go back.

If you don't, it could mean our jobs.

Would you stop bothering me?

I'm sorry.

Guess who is going to interview you on Saturday?

Not now, Jack.

A reporter from the Journal, with a possible cover story.

Who cares?

Now what happened?

Noel.

I told you and the other studio executives

that she's an over-the-hill, washed-up hack, didn't I?

Didn't I?

You mentioned you're not her biggest fan.

Now will you let me replace her?

Are you out of your mind?

She's ruining my movie.

This is not a horror film anymore.

This is turning into a Saturday morning cartoon show.

She has two days of work left.

It is too late to replace her.

Well, she walked off the set.

What if she doesn't come back?

Time and money, Mr. Bishop.

Now if we have to replace somebody,

it's not going to be her.

You're joking.

Catherine, tell me you're joking.

I mean it, Jack.

Noel can take his picture and stick it.

Catherine, before I got you this part,

you hadn't had a job for nine years.

I'm aware of that.

If you walk out on this part,

you are not going to be hurting Noel Bishop,

you are going to be hurting the studios,

and they are not going to like that very much,

and it may very well be

that you don't work for another nine years.

Oh, God, what have I done?

You really kicked some tail today, Mom.

What did they do on set after I left?

We wrapped.

And then Noel

had a very long talk with that studio exec.

About me?

Who else?

Excuse me.

Mr. Bishop is here to see you, Catherine.

Show him in to the library.

How interesting.

What is with you, Mom?

I mean, for all you know,

you're about to get the axe here.

If they were going to fire me,

the studio would have sent some lackey to do the job.

Unlike the great auteur in there, I wasn't born yesterday.

This is from S is for Satan, right?

I mean, this is the knife from the bathtub scene.

Well, you've actually seen one of my little film classics.

I've seen them all.

I've learned a lot by watching old horror films.

They were so dependent upon the basics...

Lighting, sound, camera placement, pacing...

And the acting ability of their stars?

Of course.

I'm sorry about what I said to you on the set today, Catherine.

I didn't mean it.

Liar.

No, really. I...

We're behind schedule, time and money.

I'm just stressed.

I had no right to blame you.

Maybe I was to blame.

Maybe you should just fire me.

Catherine, I can't make this picture without you.

You are its centerpiece, it's raison d'être.

But how can that be, Noel,

when all I can do is run around screaming in my underwear?

I apologize for that.

I humbly apologize.

You have my deepest respect.

And from here on out, my total support.

What time is my call?

6:00 a.m.

We start with your death scene.

You know, we only see that knife of yours once up-close.

Wait.

I have a vision.

We're going to use that knife.

Slice and dice film freaks will recognize it instantly.

They'll go nuts.

If we can get special effects to dummy up

a replica by tomorrow.

Susan is special effects on this picture.

Susan, Susan, come in here a moment, please.

And Jack, you, too.

Come on.

Noel has finally had an idea that I like.

He thinks we should use the S is for Satan knife

in the death scene tomorrow.

You know, as kind of an inside joke.

Just a dummy with a curved handle like this

and an "S" like this.

And we need it by 6:00 a.m.

No problem.

You know, I bet I can get some press out of this.

You mind if a couple reporters come by the set tomorrow?

As long as they're quiet and they stay out of the way.

When's she coming out?

Just a second, now listen.

Quiet down!

Where's Ms. McKay?

You will be able to interview Ms. McKay

and take some pictures after the scene is over.

So please, if you'll just bear with us.

Be quiet.

Please. Stop.

Please, please, let's have some quiet.

Just till this is finished.

Now, this hand up here, this one here.

Keep it half closed, all right?

Excellent. Excellent.

All right, darling?

Knife, please.

Excellent.

Excellent. Thank you.

Okay, now attach it to Catherine.

Everybody, I want you to clear the set.

I want to get this shot, and I want to get it now.

Come on, out. Let's go.

Susan, hurry it up, please.

S is for Satan was 20 years ago.

You were what, two?

Five, Mother.

But don't worry... I'll never tell.

I keep all your secrets.

Have fun.

Ready, Catherine?

For hours, Noel.

Uh, I-I'll cue you before we come through the door.

Sometime today, I hope?

Look, what I really came up here to say was,

I hope we can put what's happened behind us

and make this the best damn film either one of us has ever done.

Deal?

Deal.

Knock 'em dead.

You got it.

Noel.

Noel, we're ready for the shot.

Got the Steadicam set.

And we are rolling.

And... action.

All right, in we go.

Take your time!

Slow.

Slow and easy.

Easy...

Easy. That's the way.

That's it. That's it.

Take your time.

Take your time. Slow and easy.

That's the way.

That's it. That's...

That's it.

Slow. That's it.

Take your time.

That's it.

Here we are, Catherine.

Here we are.

On you now.

That's it.

Take your time.

Take your time.

Cut. Print.

That was terrific, Don. You can relax now.

Randy, I want to do it again.

Only this time, I want to try something else.

Catherine?

I guess that's when I get to the stairs...

Catherine?

When I make that turn... Uh-huh?

What is it?

Oh, my God.

Get an ambulance! Hurry!

Hurry! Get an ambulance.

Get some help!

Bill!

Get the... Get to the phone and call the paramedics.

Catherine's been stabbed.

What?

I think she's dead.

And she was.

She was dead!

But when Bill told the police that he saw me

walking out of the back of the house before we did the shot,

well, that was it!

I was their prime suspect.

Oh. Mm-hmm.

Now, according to the police report,

uh, you had a loud, violent argument

with the victim the day before she was killed.

Yeah, well, that was artistic differences,

which we later settled.

Do you always dress like that?

Yeah.

Why?

Well, I...

What the hell does that have to do...

No. Never mind. All right.

Uh...

Um...

Did you tell the studio

that, uh, you wanted her off the picture?

Yeah. Mm-hmm?

What happened?

They said forget it.

Well, you got what you wanted.

She's definitely off the picture.

Yeah. And you're in jail.

I know!

I know.

You need a haircut.

Yeah, well, I'm letting my perm grow out.

How's that?

I am letting my perm grow out!

Uh, the police believe

that you stole the murder weapon

from Ms. McKay's house the day before she was killed.

That's ridiculous.

I didn't do it.

You were in the house.

Yeah, well, so was Catherine's daughter Susan.

Her, uh, chauffer... butler... Aaron, whatever his name is,

and her manager and live-in lover Jack Burns.

All of them were there, too.

Th-They had access to the knife?

They live there!

Well, you were the last person to see her alive.

I didn't kill her.

You're wearing an earring.

No, I am wearing two earrings.

Are you going to be my lawyer or not?

Uh, well...

I, um...

I gotta, I gotta tell you-tell you the truth.

I ordinarily go by instinct

on these things.

But, um...

I got to be honest with you.

I'm, uh... having a problem.

I'm innocent.

Well, I hope. I hope.

How can I best put this?

Um...

You're, um...

Um... strange.

Well...

welcome to Hollywood.

Help me! Help...

End slate. Cut it.

Print that.

Thanks. MAN: Up ahead, boys.

Crane coming down. - Cut.

Terrific, you guys. You all right?

Yeah, great.

Everybody, listen up!

Okay, you guys! Quiet!

I got something I want to say to you.

Let's go, people! Come on!

As you well know,

Catherine McKay and I have had our differences,

but that doesn't change the fact that she was a star.

She'll be remembered for a long, long time,

and so will our picture.

Now, no matter what you've heard,

I had nothing to do with her death.

You may have read in the paper that I'm out on bail,

but I have an attorney to prove that I'm innocent.

He's going to need some information,

which means he's going to be questioning some of you.

Oh, there he is now.

Everybody, Ben Matlock, the world's greatest lawyer.

Welcome.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Oh, uh, uh, this is, uh, Con...

Conrad McMasters.

Uh, we work together.

He's an investigator.

How you doing, Conrad? Conrad!

I'd appreciate it

if you'd give them both your total cooperation.

Now, what are we waiting for, ladies and gentlemen?

Let's get back to work, okay?

And think blockbuster!

Yeah!

Keep working, men.

Let's set up for the next shot.

Would you look at the way that guy's dressed?

What... He's wearing a ponytail,

and he's got two earrings on.

Wait... Is there something you want to tell me?

I mean, this is not like you.

Let me put it this way.

The studio...

is spending...

$10 million on this picture.

They can't afford not to finish it,

and they can't finish it without him,

so they made me my favorite kind of deal.

Get out.

They let you write your own ticket?

I learned to like ponytails and earrings real fast.

Yeah. I'll get it.

Wow, that's a big one, isn't it?

Really big thing.

Oh, Mr. Burns, uh, Ben Matlock.

Oh, you... Oh, hey.

Uh, look, I got to...

I got to get this stuff to my car.

They want everything out of Catherine's bus

by the end of the day.

Oh, yeah, I'll help you.

Yeah.

They don't waste any time, do they?

The creeps. Yeah.

They're gonna make a fortune on Catherine's picture,

and they worried about one lousy extra day's rent.

Yeah, yeah.

This was gonna be her comeback,

and yours, too, as a matter of fact.

Boy, a manager's dream.

Well, Catherine's and my relationship

went beyond business.

Oh, oh, is this, uh...

Wait a second... Yeah.

Oh, look.

Was Susan your... your daughter?

No, no. From a previous marriage.

Long before I met her.

Oh, oh. When was that?

15 years ago.

I... I managed her when I negotiated the first lead

in the Terror Town film.

Oh, yeah, and after that,

her career took a dive, didn't it?

Dive?!

Well, slide.

Hardly! She did four sequels.

But you're right.

After that, the offers did start drying up.

As a matter of fact, the only way I got her in this film

was by taking points and getting down on my knees

and just plain begging.

Yeah?

Noel Bishop told me that he heard Catherine,

on several occasions, threaten to fire you.

Fire me? Are you kidding?

Well...

Well, listen, Catherine was a very theatrical woman.

I mean, she, she loved scenes and high drama.

She was always threatening to fire everybody.

But never did?

No. She was just acting.

When she was in that room by herself, where were you?

I was downstairs standing with some reporters.

Uh-huh.

And-And when the camera went up the stairs?

I was right behind it.

You know, after Catherine and Noel had their fight,

she demanded that I be on the set at all times, and I was.

As a matter of fact,

I was the one that discovered she was dead.

Oh. Hmm.

She always said

I was never there when she needed me and...

God help me, she was right.

Oh.

Well...

Ready?

You ready?

Yeah, I'm all... I'm all set.

Hey, guys, when you get the stuff unloaded,

I want it in the shade pronto.

All right, now the question was, who didn't I see?

Yeah, just before the... no...

Or even during the what-do-you-call-it,

when the-the camera guy...

Operator? Yeah, the camera operator.

When he's-he's... he's just holding the camera.

The Steadicam shot.

Yeah, the Steadicam.

Um, I didn't see Susan McKay, that's who I didn't see.

Catherine's daughter. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember. As I was calling the paramedics,

I'm thinking, geez, I hope they get Susan away from there,

you know, so she doesn't see her mom like that.

But then I remember thinking, wait a minute, wait a minute...

Just where the hell is Susan anyway?

She wasn't on the set?

I didn't see her.

Do you know if she's on the set now?

She was here earlier, but she went home.

We're just shooting pig guts the rest of the day.

Pig guts?

Thank you.

Boy!

This yard could use a little care.

So could the house.

Well, I guess the butler's too elegant to do yardwork.

The maid's going nuts.

Yeah... well, she's cleaning up a stor...

That's not the maid. That's Susan.

Hi, Susan.

Hey, go. Go...

She was rifling through Catherine's desk?

Uh, yeah. Susan?!

Uh, I think she was kind of upset when she saw us.

I think she's gone.

How strange.

I wonder what she was up to.

Uh, she took some letters out of this drawer.

You-You have any idea what was in them?

Could be anything from three-year-old bills

to 20-year-old fan mail.

Uh-huh. Never got rid of anything, huh?

Never.

Uh, where did she keep the knife that killed her?

Oh. Over here.

Mm-hmm.

Uh...

They're supposed to use a replica.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

You know anything about her scrapbooks?

Pardon? Scrapbooks.

Uh, 1977 and 1979 are missing.

She must have lent them to someone.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Boo!

McMASTERS: Ben?

Oh, oh.

Oh, hi, Susan. I'm Ben Matlock.

Oh, well, why don't you make yourselves at home.

Well, as soon as this will is over,

I won't have to deal with this anymore.

She scares people for a living. Oh?

Good at it, too. Oh.

Got the goose bumps to prove it. You said you wanted to ask me

some questions... so ask; I've got nothing to hide.

Okay. Why were you rifling through your mother's desk?

That's none of your business.

Ha! Like mother, like daughter.

Uh, Susan, I know this is a difficult time

for you, and I'm sorry that we have to make it any worse,

but you're gonna have to tell us...

and the police.

I was doing research for my book.

Uh, how's that?

My book.

The book that's gonna tell the world

what a vain, selfish and evil person my mother really was.

Susan! Oh, Jack.

You're just mad because you didn't think of it first.

Uh, Susan, uh, what was, uh,

was in the-the letters that you took from your mother's desk?

I don't know, I haven't read them yet.

What about the scrapbooks?

I didn't take any scrapbooks.

Well, two... two books are missing...

A 1977 and 1979.

That's fan magazine garbage.

See, my mother only kept the-the nice things

that people said about her, the made-up stuff.

I'm gonna write the truth. - Like hell!

You hated your mother,

and now you're gonna exploit her memory for money.

It's a great idea, isn't it?

Uh, Susan,

nobody remembers seeing you on the set after you attached

that, uh, phony knife to your mother... why is that?

I was in her bus.

Oh, oh, now.

So that's why Catherine's things

were scattered all over the trailer.

You rifled through them.

You thief! Oh, as if you

haven't been stealing from her

since the day you walked in the door.

What are you gonna do now, anyway, huh, you parasite?

Maybe I'll write a book about you.

Daughter From Hell.

Jack, you're gonna love my book.

See, when it comes out, everyone will know

you and my mother for the snakes you really were.

You write one word about me,

and I will sue you into the ground.

Of course I knew Larry... He was always

right there holding Catherine's robe.

She was always cold.

Of course, she did most of her scenes in her underwear... real pro.

Could she really scream in three octaves?

I-I saw one of her pictures one time.

Absolutely. That's amazing.

Okay, so he was on the set the day she was murdered? Yes and no.

What do you mean? Well,

I was sitting at the makeup table as usual.

You know how long it takes to put this stuff on?

Right. I know

he went into the house with Catherine

but I don't remember seeing him come out.

He says he went for a walk.

He didn't go past me.

So, what do you think?

Could he have been in the house

without anybody knowing about it?

Sure.

Sometimes I used to find him sitting in a dark corner.

Just holding Catherine's robe and staring off into space.

The guy is very weird.

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you.

Do you know where I can find a telephone?

Oh, sure. Right over there.

Thank you.

Mr. Mitchell, could we step outside

and-and talk for a minute?

Mr. Matlock, this is neither the time nor the place.

It's either here or in court.

Okay.

After that big fight between Susan and Jack,

I started wondering what was gonna come of all this.

I read the will.

Guess who gets the house?

You've seen it.

It's hardly worth killing someone for.

The property.

Prime location.

One developer said that he would gladly,

gladly pay three quarters of a million

just for the land.

Tear down the old house, put up a new one.

A lot of people have been killed

for under three quarters of a million dollars.

I am the last person on earth

who would've killed Catherine.

Why's that?

I was her husband.

I don't know why she mentioned the house in the will.

She... I get it anyway.

Community property.

Seems a little bit strange, you know.

She lived in that house

with Jack Burns for 15 years.

Ours was an unorthodox marriage.

Catherine and I met in 1968.

Susan was barely two

and Catherine was still an unknown.

We fell in love.

And at my insistence we drove to Las Vegas

and got married.

But there was one condition.

I was to tell no one.

Why?

She claimed that marriage was a bad career move.

Anyhow, within a few years, our marriage was over.

At least as far as she was concerned.

But she never demanded a divorce.

And she agreed to let me stay as her chauffer-butler.

And you wanted to stay?

How could you stand it?

Not only did Jack Burns live in your house,

he slept with your wife!

I loved her...

and I couldn't help but think

that the reason she never divorced me,

never sent me away...

was because deep down inside...

she loved me, too.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, Conrad.

Conrad, you're good.

I'm talkin' good. You're good-lookin',

you're a good dresser

you're a good yodeler,

you're a good snoop, you're a super snoop.

What are you two You really think I'm a good yodeler?

Talking about? Get your hands hands off of me.

Oh, hi, Jack.

Why were you following me?

You knew I was following you?

Oh, yeah. Remember when I left the mortuary

and I stopped and made a phone call? I called him.

See, you were following me and he was following you.

Why were you following me? Well, I-I...

I just...

Just what? I-I...

I was just curious. I...

Oh, curious to see how close we were coming?

Close? Yeah.

How close we were coming to, uh...

the killer... to you.

To me?! Yeah.

Well, see...

it couldn't have been Catherine's daughter,

and, uh, it couldn't have been my client.

And it couldn't have been, uh, the butler.

So, uh... couldn't have been either one of us.

So, as the song says, it had to be you.

You'll never prove it.

Easy. That's the way.

That's it.

That's it. Take your time.

- Take your time. - I love this shot.

Hitchcock had one like this

in practically every one of his pictures.

A tracking shot so long and complex,

it boggles the mind. Hmm.

Great, huh?

Makes me a little dizzy.

Here we are, Catherine.

Here we are.

On you now.

That's it.

Take your time. Take your time.

Cut. Print.

That was terrific, Don. You can relax.

Could I see the... the last, oh,

few seconds over again?

Sure.

Could I have the last two feet, please?

PROJECTIONIST: Okay, fine.

Take your time.

Hold it right there.

Freeze it, please.

Could I see, uh, uh,

one of those copies of the police photograph?

Mr. Burns.

How did you get into the business?

I mean... I mean, what...

what were you before you teamed up

with Catherine McKay 15 years ago?

I was a publicist.

Then I went into business for myself as a talent manager.

Oh, I-I see.

So, you-you managed

other actors' and actresses' careers?

That's correct.

Well, what happened to those clients

when Catherine signed with you?

I dropped them.

Why?

Catherine wanted me to manage her career and hers alone,

which was fine with me, she was a big star.

I could make more money representing her

than representing all my other clients combined.

Yeah, well... yeah, I guess so, but...

seems to me the problem,

uh, with a situation like that

is that you put all your eggs in one basket,

so if-if her career, uh, dropped,

then your career would drop, too.

And that's exactly what happened, isn't it?

We shared some rough times, yes. Yeah.

So, this picture was your comeback,

as well as hers, wasn't it?

And-And once she started raking in the big money,

why, you would, too.

Or, uh, would you?

A few weeks, uh...

uh, before Catherine died,

uh, you started, uh, talking to other actors and actresses

about handling their careers, didn't you?

So I talked to a few kids

about managing their career... So what?

Well, for one thing,

it might indicate that, uh,

Catherine was not planning

to share her fame and fortune with you.

As a matter of fact, she was going to fire you, wasn't she?

No.

Catherine wouldn't have done that.

We were in love.

Well...

yeah, well, there's still no reason

not to hedge your bets and protect yourself, is there?

But, you know, you had...

you had another problem there.

I mean...

you had been out of circulation for 15 years.

Uh, I mean, how did these people that you approached react

to the idea of your handling their careers?

They weren't interested.

Not interested.

So, if Catherine had fired you,

you would have had a rough row to hoe

to get back on your feet, wouldn't you?

I mean,

here she had her comeback, thanks to you,

and what did you get out of it?

I mean, nothing.

Make you mad?

That is not the way it was.

Oh, I think it was.

I think it made you mad, and I think you killed her.

I have an alibi for the time of the murder and you know it.

One of your jobs was to

generate publicity for her, wasn't it?

Yes.

Did you ever stage any...

publicity stunts?

I staged press conferences and photo ops.

Things like that.

No, no, I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about old-fashioned,

headline-grabbing,

no-holds-barred stunts.

Like 1977, '79, when-when...

when Catherine's career was really dragging bottom

and she needed every inch of press she could get.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Of course you do.

Like in '77.

You got the press to believe and the public to believe

that she was being held hostage in a hotel room by a crazed fan.

She was held hostage.

The police ruled it a hoax.

No man was ever found or arrested.

And in '79, at a famous producer's house,

at a well-attended party,

you had her fall into the pool and pretend to be drowning

so you could jump in, drag her out,

give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation,

pretend to save her life.

That was no stunt! She almost drowned!

And so that's why...

you took those two scrapbooks...

1977 and '79...

Out of Catherine's library,

so that nobody would read them

and remember the kinds of stunts you used to pull

and start drawing parallels

between them and Catherine's death.

What in the world are you talking about?

Okay.

You told her to pretend to be dead that day, didn't you?

You told her not to move a muscle

when Noel yelled, "Cut."

You told her to let everybody believe

that she was already dead,

so that when the paramedics, the police and the press

all stormed into that room, she could sit up

and scare the hell out of everybody.

You convinced her it was a good stunt,

and she believed you.

Only, when you sounded the alarm

and everybody left the room to get help,

you stayed and you killed her, didn't you?

I did no such thing.

You can't prove a word of this.

Not one word.

I can.

And if the court will permit a short demonstration, I will.

Proceed. Okay.

Now, these...

copies...

of the police photograph...

of the body.

It's been marked "People's Exhibit 2."

Pass them along, please.

Uh, it's not a very...

pretty picture... And I apologize for that...

But it's important that you look closely

at the position of the knife handle.

Roll the film.

Now, this strip of film

has been marked "People's Exhibit #1."

This few feet is the last scene

in Catherine McKay's life.

There, the camera's moving up.

There she is, as still as death.

Freeze the frame.

All right.

Now, she looks like she's dead,

but she's not dead.

You have to remember, Catherine was an actress,

and she had played this death scene dozens of times.

She knew how to not move a muscle, not breathe.

We know she's alive

because of the position of the knife handle.

See, the knife handle here

is facing her feet.

But the knife handle here, in the photograph,

is facing her head.

This one is fake.

This one is real.

She was going to drop you.

I mean, just like that.

After... After all those years of devotion.

Just drop you.

And it made you mad.

And you thought of this...

marvelous stunt,

and while everybody was out of the room

except you and she,

before she knew what you were doing...

you removed the prop knife from her chest...

and plunged the real one through her heart,

which explains

how the handles

got reversed.

She deceived you.

And you killed her.

Nothing further.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Case dismissed.

You were terrific.

Oh!

Yeah. You, too.