Original subtitles

This sketch is titled, "Abandoned Cat."

Oh, it's an abandoned cat.

Hey, you, abandoned cat.

Shut up. You're probably an abandoned cat too.

I've never been abandoned.

I've been a stray cat ever since I was born.

I've got a bad feeling about this guy.

What's your name?

Disclose your own name before you ask for someone else's.

How could a stray cat have a name? So what's yours?

It's Tama.

-Tama? What a cop-out. -Shut up!

I wouldn't respond until

I was given a cool, refined name.

You've never had an owner. I wouldn't be so arrogant if I were you.

It's not that I haven't had an owner before.

It's that I haven't chosen my owners yet.

I'm aiming for a beautiful, businesswoman,

who will feed me expensive canned food, every day.

Shut up. Don't talk to me.

I don't want people to think we're friends.

I don't think I'll get adopted

if people think I'm like you.

-Okay. -Go away!

-Tama, I'm sorry. -Don't call me, Tama! It's annoying.

Bring it on. Come on.

What? You want to go?

You want to go?

You know the Macbeth sketch you were just watching?

"Abandoned Cat"?

It's different from all their other ones.

Hey! That's amazing, Tsumugi!

-I think you've got a knack for it. -A knack for what?

A knack for understanding Macbeth.

What good is having a knack for that going to do for me?

All of Macbeth's sketches

are written by Haruto.

But "Abandoned Cat" is the only one that's written by Shunta.

-What? Shun-chan? -Yes.

I mean, it's something any Macbeth fan would know.

Then do you know Shun-chan's favorite food?

But of course! It's ramen and popcorn.

That's what's known publicly.

-What's that supposed to mean? -When Shun-chan gets plastered,

do you know what he likes to eat then?

How can you be so sure that the food he wants

when he's plastered is truly his favorite food?

Who knew there was something

you didn't know about Macbeth?

You're so annoying!

Excuse me.

Did something good happen?

Here you are.

I had a chat with my brother, for the first time in a long time.

He's been a shut-in for a while now.

So it's been a long time since we've been able to talk.

Oh, is that so?

Wow, congratulations!

I wondered what he was going to say.

-He said I should continue Macbeth. -What?

Is there a chance you guys won't break up?

Well…

Even our manager, from our agency,

has asked us to reconsider.

Then you should keep going.

I want you to keep going!

Pardon me.

So what did you want to talk about?

Hold on, it's too soon. Let's drink a bit more first.

Actually, I have something I wanted to talk about too.

If you're both wanting to talk with me,

it must be because you want to ask me to be a witness at your wedding.

I already told you, it's not that.

I still haven't decided if I'm going to choose Junpei.

What?

Come on! Don't do that,

-even as a joke. -You thought it was a joke?

-You shut up and keep cooking the chicken. -What?

This is completely unrelated,

but why did you call yourselves Macbeth?

-You never told him? -Of course not.

Who do you think came up with it?

-Haruto? -No.

-Me! -What?

You're the godparent of the group?

Do you know what day it was when we decided on that name?

Oh, yeah. We took you to the hospital.

Oh, right. I remember that day.

At first, Haruto wasn't a fan

of the name Macbeth.

By the way, did you come up with a name for your group yet?

Not at all. It's not something that's that easy to come up with.

What about Macbeth?

Macbeth?

Well, you know how Mr. Makabe kind of gave us a push?

So "Makabe's students,"

because he was our teacher, Macbeth!

In that case, it should be, "Makabeth," no?

Well, obviously, that's because "Macbeth" sounds cooler than "Makabeth."

I don't know. Macbeth?

It's just one idea.

It's not like I'm settled on that name, either.

I didn't even come up with it.

Oh, really? Then who came up with it?

Natsumi.

Oh, is that so?

I mean, that's not why I want to go with that.

I just thought it was a good name.

Okay. Let's make that our name then.

At least give it proper thought.

-No, I think it's really good. -Come on.

Up until a second ago, you didn't like it.

That's not true.

Seriously. It's not bad.

Plus if it's a name Natsumi came up with,

that means you won't be able to quit so easily.

I'm going to give it my all, no matter what we call ourselves.

What? Isn't that Mr. Makabe?

-Mr. Makabe. -Hey!

-Hey! -Don't tell him about the name. Don't.

-It'll make him cocky. -Oh, you lot.

What are you doing?

-I'm about to have a kid. -What?

-Mr. Makabe! -Teacher!

-Get in! -Get in?

Speak in Japanese!

Haven't you read the student handbook?

-"You cannot commute to school by car." -I went home once, so I'm good.

"When in uniform, you shall not ride in a car with anyone other than your guardian."

Mr. Makaba dealt with his nerves, for his child's birth,

by lecturing us.

…not allowed to get ice cream on the way home either.

When we said we were going to leave, he forced us to stay,

saying it was a good social studies moment,

although perhaps he was just scared to be alone.

Hey, teacher?

Do you have a name picked out?

We've already decided on one.

NAME: TAICHI

It's Taichi.

Is that partly named after me?

-Obviously not. -The "ta" from "Shunta."

NAME: TAICHI

Teacher, having only five strokes for two characters is too few.

What's wrong with it only being a few strokes?

You teach Contemporary Japanese, right?

Only five strokes for two characters is

-a cop-out. -A cop-out?

Well, it's because

we had the expectation

that you'd name your child something commendable, using harder characters.

-We weren't expecting Taichi. -What?

You lot…

for you to call

my beloved, soon-to-be-born child's name, a cop-out…

What kind of education

have you three…

You did so well.

Do you think he looks like you?

I think he looks like you.

What's wrong?

What? Oh, nothing.

Shunta.

Congratulations. Sorry.

Why did you cry back there?

It was the first time I ever saw a newborn baby.

Seeing how much they're crooned over when they're first born,

kind of made me feel a bit envious.

What? So those were jealousy tears?

At first, it was because the whole thing was so touching.

Shunta lost his father at a young age, and it was obvious

his relationship with his mother wasn't great.

Excuse me?

He's expressed that he would like to forgo university,

-to pursue a career as a pro-gamer-- -Absolutely not. I won't allow it.

His opportunity to pursue this is now--

I won't allow it. By no means will I allow that.

Teacher, it's no use trying to get through to her.

That woman

has a problem with every single thing I do.

"No gaming."

"Don't watch comedy." "Stop eating junk food."

She won't let me do anything. "I won't allow it."

"By no means will I allow that."

Meanwhile,

she's completely forgotten about my dad.

And she's considering marrying this younger guy,

with zero regards for my feelings.

I feel like I'm going to go crazy being with her.

She's hard on others, but easy on herself. Such a horrid woman.

As soon as Shunta graduated high school,

he started living on his own

and severed all ties with his mom.

Let's do three chicken meatballs.

-Three chicken meatballs! -Three chicken meatballs!

And one skin-on, one heart, and one cartilage.

Skin-on, heart, cartilage.

Skin-on, heart, cartilage.

Unique, right?

The bulldog howl is this store's signature.

Who are you calling a bulldog?

The boss used to do boxing,

which is why he counts in English.

Ouch! That landed.

He actually punched me.

But the name of the store is related to golf, right?

My boxing nickname was "Bogey Ando."

Once he gets going on this topic,

he'll never stop, so don't encourage him.

I'll tell you all about it later.

I'd love to hear about it.

You were pretty unique too, Mr. Makabe.

-What, me? -Do you still say,

-"Work like fury"? -I remember that!

He either says it in a heavy way or a bland way.

-That's right! -Don't describe me like I'm ramen.

There's, "Work like fury."

And then there's, "Work like fury."

My front teeth didn't come out that much, did they?

Since graduating high school, I haven't once heard someone use

-"Work like fury." -No one says that.

But you said it several times a day.

For things that I really want people to get,

I say it three times.

So that's why.

-What? -What? Oh, no, it's just my mom

nags me several times a day,

so I was just thinking, it must be something she really wants me to get.

"I won't allow it."

-"By no means will I allow that." -Hey!

You just can't help but mimic people, can you?

Yes. It's a disease I suffer from.

Do you see your mom?

-No. -Of course not!

How long has it been?

-I think it's been seven or eight years. -That long?

Why don't you stop pushing it off and finally talk to her?

-She's the only family you've got. -It's okay.

Junpei goes to see her for me.

-What are you talking about? -It was just once.

Haruto, she, and I had lunch together.

It was two years ago when Shunta's mother

suddenly appeared at our door.

Machida!

-Turn! -Come on!

Home run!

Shunta! Your mom.

What?

-Tell her I'm not here. -Why?

-She can probably hear you. -Please.

-I'm not here. -What?

-Haruto, come with me. -What?

Hello. I'm Shunta Asabuki's mother.

Oh, yes, we're familiar.

He actually went out, so he's not here.

Then I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I waited for him here?

Actually, that's not the best…

Unfortunately, no females are allowed, even if they're relatives.

Yeah, that's right. It's Macbeth's golden rule.

Fine. I'll wait elsewhere if you two come to lunch with me.

You don't have anything better to do, right?

-This is delicious! -Yes!

-Should've gotten the large. -Yes!

You really think it's that good?

Excuse me! Can I get a coffee, please?

With lots of milk and sugar, please.

Right away.

Even in a restaurant?

What?

Oh, nothing. It's just,

I remember Shunta complaining that you have a problem with

every single thing he does.

Not every single thing.

In this case, I just thought I would be capable

of making a better meat sauce than this.

Then can I have some of that?

Stop it.

Shunta

complimented me once

for my meat sauce.

But then he went to garnish it with some grated cheese

and I got upset and said, "Isn't it good enough on its own?"

I shouldn't have put up a stink about something so small.

I'm well aware that I'm a horrible mother.

And that I can't undo the past.

I'm well aware.

Shunta was at home, wasn't he?

Help me see him sometime, okay?

In that case,

-you could come to our show this month. -Yes. That's true.

Once you're at the venue, Shunta won't be able to run and hide.

Your owner just came around looking for you.

-You're lying. -"Tama!"

Calling out your silly name.

Even if that's true, I'd never go back to that place.

Does that mean you're going to start living as a stray?

My owner…

In the end, Shunta's mother

didn't come to see any of our shows.

…put me in a pot…

Teacher, don't rush off. Enjoy a few more drinks.

I've got to prepare for a ball game in the morning.

Did you get a chance to talk about those crossroads, Junpei?

Not at all. Natsumi spent the whole time complaining about her work.

That's because I didn't know he was going to leave so early.

Junpei, I'll make time for you again in the near future.

But you're busy, right?

Before you guys break up,

mind if I plan a visit to the men-only bunker?

Oh, yeah! Please, come, teacher!

Want me to lend an ear?

Oh, that's okay. Would you mind cleaning up the table over there?

-All right! -You'll be fine, Natsumi.

Work like fury.

-There it is! -I've got renewed vigor

to go to work tomorrow.

-See you! -Thanks for coming!

-All right. -Thanks for the meal!

-Thank you very much! -Work like fury!

-Shut up! -Work like fury!

Want something to drink?

-Want to drink like fury? -I've already drunk like fury,

-but I'll have a lemon sour. -Okay.

Morning.

Morning!

Tsumugi has always been good at taking care of people.

She's the type of person that can't turn a blind eye to someone

who's suffering or hurt.

She's also the reason I was able to emerge

from the depths of my own despair.

Thanks.

I'm not sure if it's because she used to play with my old dolls.

But she took good care of each and every one of them,

no matter if they were dirty or roughed up.

Hey, sis. Can you come here?

She was often in trouble with mom

for bringing home abandoned cats. But mom eventually caved

and let us adopt two cats.

One.

Throughout middle school and high school,

she managed the baseball team for six years.

She became known as a legendary manager

because whoever she tossed balls for

was able to get out of a slump.

After she retired from being a manager,

she lost all her energy, as if she was burnt out.

She decided to forgo university and started working part-time instead.

But none of them lasted long, and she ended up jumping from one job to the next.

Which brings us to now.

If only there was a job similar to managing a baseball team.

We tried to think of a job that was similar,

but out of the blue, she started working at the snack bar.

She traded in throwing balls for making drinks,

and scorebooks for receipts.

In that sense, working in the entertainment industry

and cheering up scarred men

could also be described as the perfect job for Tsumugi.

Are you okay, Urara?

I don't think so.

Make sure you apply it evenly, okay?

I am! Stop nagging me!

Shunta, your phone's ringing.

Just leave it. It doesn't need to be answered.

Is Mr. Makabe really coming?

He was pretty drunk. I don't know.

I'm sure he'll come. He really wanted to see Haruto.

Hey, Shunta! Your phone's ringing.

-Answer it! -It's fine. Sorry.

SHE-DEVIL

Who's "She-Devil"?

What? I wonder who it is.

You saved it like that, so you should know who it is.

It's your mom, right?

Recently,

she's been relentless with her calls.

-That's because you don't answer. -I have nothing to say to her.

Why are you so adamant about denying her?

Obviously, because she denied me all her life.

Now it's my turn.

Now that I think of it,

I'm currently doing everything she didn't want me to.

She hates gaming. She hates comedy.

She even said dying my hair was out of the question.

So then you already got your revenge.

Not at all. Come on, keep going.

-Shunta, what did you tell me? -What did I say?

A missed call is like saying, "I'm thinking about you."

Yes, but your situation is different than mine.

For all intents and purposes, I've cut ties with her.

Hey! I have a good idea.

-Put your hands up. -Put my hands up?

Come on.

-Don't do that. That's going to hurt. -I see.

-I'm home. -Welcome back!

Hey, sis. Can you come here?

Remember the girl I work with, Urara?

The name sounds familiar.

She doesn't have a place to stay, so can she sleep over?

Starting when?

Nice to meet you. I'm Urara.

Good evening.

Do you do music, Urara?

It's just a hobby.

-Sometimes I do street performances. -Oh, is that so?

-What would you like to drink? -Do you have vodka?

We have whiskey or shochu.

I'll just have water then.

-How old are you, Urara? -Twenty-two.

Oh, so that means Tsumugi is three years older.

Urara has seniority at the bar though.

-Is that how it works? -Are these the rumored fish?

Rumored?

You named them after Macbeth, right?

-You sound like my kind of gal. -What?

I've named my towels,

after my favorite band members.

I can't help but feel like naming a towel

is a bit different than what I did.

You can have it.

Take a listen.

Thank you very much.

It's almost going to be a year since we opened.

Time flies.

Next time we close early, why don't we go grab drinks?

I want to come too!

High schoolers can't go to a bar.

That's not true.

There are many places that welcome family.

You don't want it to be just the two of us.

Of course, that's not it.

Do we really have to clean up?

-Surely, there comes a point in time. -But

Wouldn't Mr. Makabe be interested in seeing our life as it is?

-Oh, shit. -What?

-Sorry. -Seriously? Popcorn?

-Come on. -We just cleaned up,

and you go and make a mess.

My bad.

Hey, is that your mom again?

No. It's just a random number. They've called so many times today.

-Then I'll answer it. -Leave it.

-Leave it. -Yes, hello.

Yes. Okay.

I'll give the phone to him.

It's the hospital.

Hospital?

Yes?

Yes, that's right.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes.

What did they say?

They said the she-devil's going to die.

She-devil?

Your mom's not doing well?

They don't know

if she'll even make it to tomorrow.

What? Are you serious?

-Hey! -What are you doing? Hey!

-Go, now! -I'm not going!

-Shunta! Go, now! -I said I'm not going!

She tried to reach out so many times!

She probably wanted to talk to you one last time.

I have nothing to say to her.

How long are you going to hold this grudge?

This is none of your business!

That might be true,

but when we met your mom,

we promised her that

we'd get you to see her.

That's none of my business!

It is your business!

Go see her one last time.

No! I want to drink with Mr. Makabe!

This is not the time for that.

Then leave me alone!

I don't want to chit-chat about boring shit with you two!

Why can't you imagine how I might feel?

Fuck off!

Sorry.

-I'm home. -Welcome back.

What's wrong?

I don't know. Shun-chan sent me these random pictures.

Random pictures?

Oh, I know!

I think it says, "SOS."

-You're right. -Hey, wait!

I've seen that hippo before.

That's a hippo?

Oh, I wasn't sure if you'd find me.

My sister's good at puzzles and riddles.

Oh, really? In that case, I award you five points.

Yay.

-Try the swing. -Okay.

Is something the matter?

I had a bit of a fight with the guys.

I didn't know where to go.

-The fried chicken is so good. -How does shochu sound, teacher?

Yes, sounds good. On ice.

You bought way too much finger food!

-You guys like to eat, right? -Thanks.

Where's Shunta?

So just because she took them out once,

they're both taking her side. Can you believe it?

Do you want me to go to the hospital with you?

No. Like I said, I'm not going.

No one understands how I feel.

In that case,

if you don't want to see your mom

because you're holding a grudge against her,

why don't you give her a piece of your mind?

Yes. I think that's what I would do.

It'd be my last chance for vengeance after all.

Oh, I see. Okay. See you.

He's in a taxi headed to the hospital.

-He didn't take his wallet. -It's right here.

He must've borrowed money from someone.

-That's true. -Oh, good.

-What a relief. -Yes.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

So why did you

want to come over, teacher?

What? Am I inconveniencing you?

No. It's not an inconvenience.

-I remember living like this. -What do you mean?

-When I was in university, -Yes?

I used to live with three of my Rakugo classmates.

-What? -What? Really?

Even when we meet up now,

20 years later, all we talk about are those days back then.

When we broke up,

we had a huge fight about who would take what.

So you guys should start talking about that now.

You're going to live apart when you break up, right?

Oh, yeah. The thing I wanted to talk to you about at the bar.

Oh, right.

I'm sure you've heard that

we're breaking up in June.

-But since then, a lot has happened. -Like what?

Our manager from the agency asked us to reconsider breaking up.

-Oh, really? -Yes.

Ten years ago,

your encouragement was one of the reasons

we even decided to start Macbeth.

Did I encourage you?

I wanted to get your honest opinion

about whether we should continue

or whether we should break up.

Without a doubt…

I think you should break up.

Seriously?

Wait, why?

-Why is that? -Yes, why? Why?

Well, when I graduated from university,

I didn't become a teacher right away.

I made a lot of detours.

So I can kind of understand

how tiring it can be to chase your dreams.

I'm sure you've been through a lot of tough moments.

The trouble you faced from 18 to 28

and the trouble you'll face in the next 10 years

are completely different.

Don't you think you've given it a good run?

She's still somewhat conscious

so you can talk to her.

Your mom seemed to be longing to see you.

-Why are you laughing? -No, it's just…

I thought Mr. Makabe was going to say, "Work like fury."

Man, was I wrong.

What?

What?

-It's meat sauce. -I can see that.

Hello?

Hello?

It's your son.

Shunta Asabuki.

Do you know who I am?

You really…

are selfish, aren't you?

You denied me

everything I wanted,

but you gave free rein to your own desires.

You disregarded my feelings

and got remarried, then divorced right away.

Even…

in the end, you choose this random timing.

It's too soon, don't you think?

I need a bit more time…

to forgive you.

Give us

more time…

to start over.

I'm sorry.

Hey…

I won't allow you to die. I won't allow you to leave me.

By no means will I allow it.

You've got to be kidding me.

You know…

I didn't have time,

so I had to show up with the blond hair you detest.

Mom…

I'm sorry.

YURIKO ASABUKI'S FUNERAL SERVICE

It's all thanks to your sister

for being able to get through to him for the last moments.

I'm glad to hear that.

We couldn't get through to him at all. So thanks.

Black looks good on you.

Right?

It must have been tough for you.

Thanks. I'll come by for drinks again.

-What? -We need to come up with jokes.

We don't need to today.

-Why? -I'm sure you're tired.

You did well.

I couldn't even imagine hosting a funeral at this age.

Today, you should take a long bath

and rest.

That's so nice of you to say, but why?

Let's do it.

Let's think of some jokes.

Macbeth

is the only thing I have left.

MAKE SHIRAZ

-Why do you look so surprised? -You see a guardian angel, don't you?

She just passed yesterday. It's too soon.

-Seriously? -Talk about being unscrupulous…

I was sure I wasn't going to see you tonight.

These guys wouldn't stop nagging me about coming up with new jokes.

-Three! -For three, please.

This way, please.

Three hot coffees, please.

-Three hot coffees. -Yes.

-Sure thing. -Oh,

-actually, four, please. -Why?

For the guardian angel.

Could we get some milk and sugar, then too, please?

She's fussy if it's not sweet.

-Good point. -Absolutely.

Four hot coffees.

-Pardon me. -Want to switch seats?

-Oh, want to come to this side? -No.

It's okay.

It's easier to give her a piece of my mind face-to-face.

I'm starting to feel like she's really here.

Despite what she comes across as,

she actually hates being alone.

-Excuse me, can I have some salt? -What a backstabber.

-Are you trying to perform an exorcism? -The salt's coming.

-The exorcism's about to begin. -Don't touch your friend's mom's hair.

-Hey, why are you blushing? -Come on, stop it!

I heard you were at a funeral, Junpei?

That's right. For Shunta's mom.

Apparently, at some funerals in China, it's customary to play mahjong.

When I die, I'd like my coffin to be filled with mahjong pieces.

I don't mind if you treat me like a parent, okay?

That's how I've felt

ever since I started working here.

Good.

I'm home.

Hello?

Any decision on the matter at hand?

Could I ask you to wait a while longer?

If you don't hurry up,

we won't make it for the pamphlet for the June show.

Yes, I understand.

What? Are you still undecided?

Yes. Very.

I'll be awaiting good news.

Shun-chan, are you okay?

I'm getting hungry.

I'm assuming you want the usual?

Don't hold it against me.

I have some in the freezer if you're okay with that.

Really?

You want some, right?

I do.

-Bon appétit! -It looks delicious!

Put on as much as you'd like.

Are you sure?

Yes. Use as much as you'd like.

-I'm digging in! -Go ahead.

It's delicious!

So good!

-You're a genius! It's delicious. -Thanks!

So good!

All the hurt people who need saving seem to flock to Tsumugi.

No sauce?

It's okay.

What? What's wrong?

As her big sister, I can't help but want her to take care of herself a bit more.

-Go back to your owners! -No!

Don't be so stubborn. Throw your ego away!

There's nothing better than a home that wants you!

Fine!

PLEASE TAKE THIS CAT

I'll go break a vase and come back.

Stop acting so tough. Scram.

I hope you find a wonderful owner one day too.

I'm not going to a home that makes less than

-thirty million yen per year. -Later!

Hurry up and scram!

-Later, abandoned cat. -Good luck.

What's this? What?

You want me to take you home?

Yes.

My home is small and I'm broke.

Are you sure that's okay?

Ouch!

What the hell? I thought you were a dog, not a cat.

Woof.

What?

You are a dog?

Woof!

This sketch is titled, "Karaoke Box."

Quitting is hell. Continuing is hell.

Either way, it's a thorny road.

Nothing good comes from staying put.

If all we had was time to talk about our dreams,

that was enough.

-Perfect judge! -That's so lame.

Subtitle translation by: Rachel Hillcoat