Original subtitles

If you wanna talk, let's talk about the way you left me, left me with a text so

cool. Yeah, even though I gotta see you, I don't trust myself to meet you cause

we both know that your kiss is a gateway drug.

Once you get one, it's never enough.

Your kiss is a gateway drug.

It's not like I had it rough growing up.

I was raised by both parents, went to private school, we had nice things.

Actually, it was all pretty ideal until a few years before

I left home.

And you left at 18?

Not quite.

So, what I'm hearing is that from a young age you had to take care of

yourself, by yourself.

You seem like a very strong person.

When I have to be.

And most of the time I have to be.

When do you not have to be?

When can you let your guard down?

Well, that's the thing, right?

It's hard being a woman in this business.

I have to be strong. I work a lot. I have a lot going on.

Sometimes it just feels like too much going on.

It's hard.

I'm tired.

Can I pause you there?

I want to focus today on what vulnerability looks like for you.

I can be vulnerable when I have sex.

I mean, not sex for work. I just do that. I love having sex on camera.

It's so straightforward.

I do what I want with whoever.

I use condoms. Everybody is tested.

And then after the scene, everyone just goes on their own way.

There are no other expectations.

If you don't mind me asking, what...

What kind of scenes do you like to shoot?

Are you sure you're okay with this?

Yeah, many of my clients are sex workers.

I'm not here to pathologize your job.

Okay.

So... I'm kind of weird for a woman.

And I'm not just talking about scenes either. I don't do anything on camera

that I don't already do in my personal life.

I just like rougher, more extreme sex.

I love group sex.

I love DPs.

I do blow bangs.

You name it. I just want sex I can lose myself in.

When it's so intense and I'm so focused on what I'm doing, I'm

so in the moment.

All the rest of the noise just fades away.

You know, you said weird, but I don't actually think that's weird at all.

We aren't generalizing the kind of sex that women should have these days.

Studies show that women are into all different kinds of sex, and there's

nothing wrong with that.

So, I shot content last week.

Yeah,

it's like when performers get together and and do scenes but on their own terms

like for their own sites or Maybe they just want to hook up

Hey. Hey. Right on time.

You know me.

I'm trying very well.

Good boy.

You look good.

Thank you.

Come on in.

Okay.

Shut up.

So, how was your day?

Good. She was, um, very easy.

One kind of girl.

You didn't shower, did you?

Of course not.

You little freak.

I'm good.

Turn my hands. Sure.

Alright.

Mm-hmm

I'll let you right here.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

Yeah, just like that.

Oh, God. Yes.

Oh, that feels so good. You do it like that.

Oh. Oh,

yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I like that.

Look at you.

Perfect timing.

Come on in.

Surprise.

Yeah.

Come on.

There's enough of me to go around.

Of course.

I guess we're sharing that.

We're going right there, are we?

you

I like you.

Get my stuff out there.

Yes.

I'm sorry.

Oh my

God.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa.

Oh, fuck.

Yes. Yes.

It's okay.

Yes. Oh, fuck.

Wow.

Hey. Hey.

Y'all look who it is.

I know it's gonna be a party.

Come on.

Come on.

Good morning, baby.

Thank you.

Get this party started.

Give me a

minute to catch up.

I want

to come home.

It feels so fucking amazing.

He's screaming.

Suck them off until I get my edge

Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Now you can do this.

Is that nice and hard on your mouth?

Let me get my edge over.

Fuck yeah.

Do that while I get hurt.

Fuck.

Fuck.

That was cool, bro. Just take a minute.

Go ahead without me. I don't know if this is gonna happen

Yes.

Oh, fuck yes.

Ah, yes.

Put that in there. Yes.

Put that in there.

Get right there.

Oh, shit.

Thank you. Thank you.

It's fun.

Bye. Bye.

Hey, I'm really sorry about that.

No problem.

Everybody has a bad day now.

Even the best of them.

Yeah, but unfortunately, lately I've been having a lot more bad than good.

I just feel bad about fucking up your stuff.

It's fine. It was just content.

Nobody will ever notice.

But do you know what's going on?

Nope.

All I know is...

My dick's just not working the way it used to.

I mean, I'm taking the dick pills, but I got nothing.

Maybe I'm just getting too old for this.

No.

It's gonna be okay.

I mean, look, you're a pro.

Besides, I like the new sexy gray hair.

Sweet of you to say.

I guess we'll see you around then.

Get some rest.

It'll all be okay.

You seem sad.

It's not sad, exactly.

What do you mean?

It's more off-putting.

Like, he derailed my evening.

I wanted three guys to come over and fuck me. I wanted to be the center of

attention. I wanted to be a dirty whore, come a few times, and then have a hot

bath and just go to bed.

Orgasms are the greatest sleeping pill.

And then when he couldn't get it up, it was like, no big deal. I still have two

dicks to play with.

I mean, do you know how many times I've seen guys have wood problems over the

years?

A lot.

And then they start in with all of the excuses.

I did a scene this morning. It's too hot.

It's too cold.

This condom makes my dick numb.

Usually it's just nerves or insecurity.

Maybe they have some bullshit bouncing around in their heads, but they'll never

admit to that.

I just baby their fragile male egos and keep stroking that and their dicks, and

then usually we're fine.

But this time he got real with me.

He was actually honest about what was going on.

Totally caught me off guard.

I didn't know what to do.

So you reassured him.

I think it probably helps, don't you?

It didn't help me.

Tell me more about that.

I don't need intimacy and vulnerability with a co-worker.

I don't need to perform any more emotional labor than I already am.

Don't get me wrong.

I like everyone on my yes list, but I need them to show up, do their jobs.

And then go home. It's simple.

It sounds like intimacy and vulnerability are things you're becoming

more aware of these days.

Maybe.

And that's okay.

But why can't I find it?

Find what?

Everything I need in the same place.

Well, I think that talking about everything you need in a relationship is

another session and...

nearing our time for today, so... It's just so fucked up.

Like, if I'm dating somebody in the industry, I'm not getting the emotional

support that I need, but if I'm dating a civilian, it's just gonna get messy.

Like, I don't care how cool they think they are with my job.

Sooner or later, they're gonna get jealous, they're gonna get insecure, and

then they're gonna ask me to only do girl-girl scenes or stop shooting

altogether.

I want someone I don't have to be strong with.

I want intimacy.

I also want real conversations.

And I want somebody who'll fuck me like a dirty whore. Is that too much to ask

for?

If it's something you feel you really need, then no, it's never too much to

ask for.

Why don't you spend some time thinking about this, but...

Not too much time.

Okay, I really want you to go easy on yourself.

You've made a ton of progress in a short amount of time.

Thank you. I'll see you next week.

If you wanna talk, let's talk about the way you left me, left me with a text so

cool Yeah, even though I gotta see you, I don't trust myself to meet you cause

we both know That your kiss is a gateway drug, once you get one, it's never

enough Your kiss is a gateway drug, once you get one