Original subtitles

(indistinct chatter)

Morning, Trot. Brody.

What color is that shirt, Slim- pink?

You're crazy.

All right.

Yes.

Howdy, partners.

Looks like we are all playing together.

(chuckles) I'll go get us a card.

You paired us with Perry MacIntyre?

You're the club president. Can't you foist him on someone else?

Come on, that's no way to treat a fellow member.

Morning, folks.

The club sent me a letter last month

for wearing suit pants

- with an elastic waistband. - Come on.

I know it was MacIntyre who reported me

because he was staring at them all night.

It's not like I was wearing sweats. They're Cucinelli.

- It's the way he is. - PERRY: Hey, guys,

I think we should listen in here,

so let's zip it, okay?

MAN: As a reminder,

this year's hole in one prize is on 11,

so if you happen to get lucky on 11, congrats,

we're sending you to Aspen.

And I believe that includes a private jet

there and back for a total value of $250,000.

Wowza!

(crowd applauds)

I can't believe you hit that hole in one.

Oh, it was a lucky shot.

And who knew you could ski moguls like that?

- Aw... - Right?

This kind of raw athletic talent?

You really are a Nickerson man. (chuckling)

Perry.

- Perry? You good to go? - Yeah? Yeah.

It's a shotgun, so they're starting us on 12.

We should get going.

Guess that means we'll end on 11, the prize hole, huh?

Hey, don't you guys all go to Aspen every year?

Yeah. It'd be nice to have it paid for, but what are the odds?

Yeah, what are the odds?

? ?

(club president sighs quietly) This guy.

How long is he gonna take?

Well, you're the one

- who put him in our group. - (sighs)

(regular volume): Take your time, Perry.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Ooh. Well, well, who do we have here?

- Hey, guys. How's the round? - Oh, don't ask, Cecelia.

- Please just beer me. - Hang on, you're being rude.

First of all, Cecelia, how are you?

(Cecelia laughs) You're funny, Mr. Dennison.

Wait, did that just go in?

- No. - Impossible.

CECELIA (chuckling): Dr. MacIntyre.

- Oh, my God. - No way.

Look at this.

Molotov 6. (chuckles)

That's your ball.

Dr. MacIntyre! Oh, my God!

Well, I guess I'm joining you in Aspen.

Hey, guys, we got a hole in one back here.

(cheering)

CLUB PRESIDENT: Well, congratulations, I guess.

- Hell of a shot. - Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

- That's amazing. That's amazing. - Thank you. Thank you.

- 7 iron, huh? You got all of that one. - Yeah, 7 iron.

(indistinct chatter)

Everyone enjoying their free round? (chuckles)

You're welcome, by the way.

No, it's my treat, my treat.

Ooh.

Hey, should we coordinate on some rezzies

while we're all out in Aspen town?

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

But I-I should probably get home to my golf widow.

- Oh, no, I'm sure she's fine. - (thunder rumbling)

- Have another drink. - Ooh, yeah.

Looks like a storm's coming in.

But, uh, congrats again, man.

That really was impressive. Yeah.

(thunder rumbling)

CLUB PRESIDENT: What are you looking for?

Hey, uh, Trip.

Yeah, I...

thought I saw a deer.

- Oh, a deer, huh? - Yeah.

- Wow. - Yeah.

You see...

I think you're out here looking for your ball.

The one you actually hit off 11.

(scoffs)

Not sure I know what you're talking about.

Come on, member to member.

Did you fake that hole in one?

Trip, I think I'm a little insulted here.

See, the thing is, I know you did.

And I can prove it.

(thunder crashes)

So I'm gonna have you kicked out of the club.

Not just because you cheated,

but I gave you a chance to come clean

- and you lied to me. - Okay, look,

there's just been a mix-up.

Oh, man, it is gonna be

so sweet getting rid of you.

Hey, they might even charge you with fraud.

You do know you only got in

because your ex's dad called in every favor that he had, right?

I had a lot of people write me letters, not just

- my father-in-law's friends. - Yeah,

because you gave 'em discounts on their kids' braces.

This membership is supposed to be

a tough bid, but every now and then...

...we make a mistake.

I look forward to having it rectified.

Oh, and Perry, don't worry-

there are a lot of great public courses in this area.

Or... so I've been told.

(shouts)

Oh, God.

(thunder crashes)

(grunting)

Ooh, is there a party?

This time tomorrow, there'll be a whole bunch

of local elementary school children

gathered here, learning all about police work.

- Aw. - Our precinct

is hosting the community outreach day this year.

Captain has championed the cause for years.

It's a reminder of who it is we serve.

Oh, I wish I could sit in.

But I'm on my way to New Jersey.

We're spending the weekend with Roy's parents.

Wow. That's a big deal. Nervous?

No, I'm excited. With the wedding coming up,

there's so much to discuss.

Uh, but I better get going

if we're gonna make it to dinner on time.

- Are they taking you out? - Teddy says

they're taking us to their country club.

Whoa. Country club.

(chuckles)

Would you look at these chairs?

Aren't they luxurious?

ROY: Hey. Uh,

we're meeting my parents for dinner.

Hi, I'm Elsbeth Tascioni.

I am Roy's future mother-in-law.

(laughs)

Honey.

Remember, Roy's parents are country club types,

so let's not try to appear to be too interesting.

What's wrong with being interesting?

Well,

let's just say, no one ever ruined an engagement

by being too vanilla.

Ruined an engagement?

Yeah, like you did with your Cousin Judy.

- I what? - TEDDY: Uh, Mom, Grandma.

Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted

to introduce you to Roy's parents.

Glenn Stratton.

Uh, what a pleasure to finally meet

- Teddy's family. - Yvette. - Hi.

Elsbeth, hi.

Yvette, hi. Hi.

- Oh, wow, this is so exciting. - Oh, hugger.

Oh, and this is long overdue. And, uh...

uh, it's very nice to meet you.

Well, we're very grateful that you made the trip.

Well, we're just so grateful for the respite

- from the bustle and to-do. - (Glenn chuckles)

Shall we?

Oh, uh, terrible tragedy.

Our club president died last weekend.

Big branch fell from the famous

old Osage orange tree

just off the 11th hole, landed on his head.

Oh, gosh, how awful.

Yeah, what are the odds?

- Yeah. - Glenn, good to see you.

- Perry, I hear congrats are in order. - PERRY: Yep.

They just hung the plaque.

- GLENN: Oh. - PERRY: You want to see it?

We really should be getting to our table.

GLENN: Uh... yeah.

Uh, Perry hit the prize-winning hole in one

in a charity tournament.

Wow, a hole in one.

What are those odds?

One in 12,500.

How on earth did you...

Ma.

Yes. Coming.

(indistinct conversation)

? ?

So, Glenn, what do you do?

Oh, uh, I work in logistics.

Oh, well, that's fascinating.

Not sure that's the word I'd use,

uh, but I do get to play a lot of golf.

- (Yvette chuckles) - And Yvette, what about you?

Well, I stayed home when Roy was born.

Oh, that's

so wonderful.

YVETTE: And when that nearly drove me to pieces,

I got a job as an accountant for the school district.

But, Elsbeth, Roy says you work with the police?

Solving murders. Now, that must be interesting.

Yeah, Mom's seen some crazy cases. Tell 'em about

- the throuple who... - Oh, gosh, no. (chuckles)

They don't need to hear that.

Besides, we have a wedding to plan.

- Right. - YVETTE: Now, boys, have you

put any thought to where you might do it?

We're... confused.

Yeah. I know, uh, Mom's rooting for a city wedding.

What? No, I'm not.

I just want what you want.

Yeah. And what you want me to want is a city wedding.

Well, why don't you just do it here?

Oh, um...

No, no, that's okay. I-I don't think a golf club wedding

would be very Roy.

(quietly): Thank you.

(indistinct conversation in distance)

- Yeah. Sure. - I mean...

Elsbeth, do you golf?

We could see if there's a tee time tomorrow.

Oh, no. I never learned. But, um,

Teddy's father taught him,

and you were a caddy that one summer.

Uh, you should all go.

We could get Elsbeth a lesson.

Glenn, we're not gonna leave

- Elsbeth and Lydia on their own. - LYDIA: Oh, no,

I need a big, long nap every day.

You all go, I'll take a lesson,

and then maybe I can join you next time.

GLENN: I'll check tee times.

Mom, are you okay?

Of course. Uh, Yvette,

could you please point me to the, um...

- Down that hall, to the right. - Thank you.

Excuse me.

LYDIA: It's so odd

they call it a shrimp cocktail, don't you find?

(chuckles)

- Hi. Uh, sorry. - Oh...

That hole in one stat

that you just rattled off? You have to go on Jeopardy.

I don't think so. Uh...

I went to Florida public schools

back when we were still leaving the child behind.

- (chuckles) Oh... - My brother and I sell

hole in one insurance.

I'm sorry, I'm... I'm Rory Torkelson.

- Oh, hi. - Hi.

- Elsbeth Tascioni. - Hello.

My father worked in insurance, the homeowners kind.

I didn't know they had it for golf.

It's niche. When a club wants to entice players

with a big prize, a small premium

protects them from having to take a huge financial hit.

Unfortunately, my brother sets the premiums,

and he's more passionate about the golf than the math.

Oh, another child left behind?

- Eh, we're a bit overextended. - Mm.

I was hoping to find a reason to deny this one,

but all the documentation seems to be in order.

Documentation?

Isn't it just the ball went in or it didn't?

Oh, no, the policy

requires all sorts of specifics.

The hole has to be a certain yardage,

the tournament has to have a set number of players.

- Huh. - But he had paper

to establish all of it.

I might have to take out another mortgage.

That's funny.

You think that's funny,

you should see my credit score.

Oh, no, not that.

It's just, it was always the people who had

their paper in order who made my dad's ears itch.

He was allergic to paper?

Mm, not to paper. To liars.

Sorry to bother.

- Uh, Perry, was it? - Mm-hmm.

I'm Elsbeth Tascioni.

- I'm a guest of the Stratton family. - Oh.

I just wanted to congratulate you myself.

Why, thank you. Would you like to see the ball?

Would I? (soft chuckle)

Oh, there it is.

"Molotov 6 PCM."

What's PCM?

- My initials. - Ah.

Do they add those when you get the ball in?

No, I had them made, yeah.

First day I used them, so they must be good luck.

- Wow. That is so cool. - Mm-hmm.

So, what were the prizes

for getting a hole in one on all the other holes?

Eleven was the only one with a prize.

Wow, you must get hole in ones all the time.

"Holes-in-ones."

"Hole... in-ones?"

Hole in ones.

- It's "holes-in-one." Yeah. - Oh.

And this was my first.

In your life? Wow.

Almost seems too good to be true.

Well, it happened.

Oh, and by the way,

they should have said when you came in,

but we don't allow ripped or torn clothing

in the dining room.

Oh, no, what did I tear?

Wait, you mean my fringe?

- Yeah. - Um,

i-is this really a rip or a tear?

Guests are expected to accept the interpretations

of the members and the staff.

Oh, right, of course. I apologize.

Thank you for letting me know.

Nice meeting you.

- (laughing) - Uh, Yvette,

I have to apologize. I did not realize

that my fringe would violate the rules here.

Oh, no. Elsbeth. Fringe?

Did somebody tell you that?

Was it Perry MacIntyre?

I ran into him in the bar.

Don't pay him any mind. I'm telling you,

Perry volunteers for the rules committee

and sends members letters for every little infraction.

Oh, that makes me feel a little better.

Yvette is just being polite. Elsbeth is very sorry.

Well, Elsbeth, don't think of it again.

I'm telling you, you give someone like that

a little bit of power,

and they turn into a petty tyrant.

Mm. I guess

every organization has one. (short chuckle)

(elevator bell dings)

CONNOR: Welcome, wel...

Commissioner.

Tully. What are you doing here?

Well, isn't this community outreach day?

I thought I might observe.

Oh. Certainly.

- We were just about- - I invited a little press,

I hope you don't mind.

This way. So,

as I was saying, um, I think

it's so important to get to these kids early.

You know what I mean? Before they...

Unbelievable.

Welcome. Hi there.

Ooh! Oh, shoot.

Fore!

You actually only need to shout "fore" if you hit the ball.

- Oh. - Remember,

- keep your head still. - Still.

- Yeah. - Right.

Okay, so,

how long before I'm hitting a hole in one?

Aw, shoot!

- Darn it. (giggles) - (chuckles)

I heard there was one here last week.

Dr. MacIntyre.

- Doctor? - Dental surgeon.

- Huh. - Not to take credit,

but he's been working with me a lot lately.

Oh, really? Does he need to work on watching the ball, too?

Recently, he's been trying to get more distance on his irons.

Okay.

Fore!

Let's talk about your short game.

Am I really that short?

Thanks again. And sorry.

You're great. (chuckles)

How was the lesson?

Oh, Rory.

I'm sorry if I startled you out there.

Occupational hazard.

So, any luck on the investigation?

Unfortunately, I don't think there's more juice

to be squeezed from this lime.

Ugh. That's too bad.

I met Perry, and I wouldn't say I'm rooting for him.

But I guess he did work for it.

- How do you mean? - Oh, well, the pro said

he was taking lessons to get more distance on his,

um... what was the word?

You tell me.

Uh, on his...

Oh, oh, his irons.

Really? The pro said that?

Does that mean something?

The ball MacIntyre was playing

was a Molotov.

I thought it was a little strange.

They don't sell them in the pro shop.

But they're good for distance.

Oh, you have that same look

my Dad got when he sniffed a possible arson.

One way to fake a hole in one is to drive the ball

- so far, lands out of bounds... - Uh-huh.

then plant a dupe in the cup

- and pretend it went in. - Ooh!

So, if he did that, then the ball

would have landed in the woods just beyond the hole.

Yeah, but we have no other reason

to believe MacIntyre pulled anything funny.

He...

Where are we going?

Now, if he hit it long,

we'd find another Molotov 6

somewhere around here.

- What is this? - Ball marker.

People use them to mark their lie,

in case their ball is in the way of another player's putt.

There's another one.

Oh, careful.

Club president got killed by

that falling tree branch.

Terrible accident.

Did they ever say why they think

he was out here in a storm?

Oh, there's another one.

No, I mean, he wasn't even playing a round.

He competed earlier that day.

Right.

Ooh, here's another one.

Hey,

this stone looks different than the other ones.

Hmm.

Hey, Rory?

What if it wasn't a terrible accident?

I don't know, breaking your neck

- seems pretty terrible. - No.

I mean what if it was a terrible crime?

RORY: Okay. Uh, well, thanks anyway.

They're gonna send a cruiser out to tape off the area

until they can get forensics on the scene tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Ugh. Guess we're not in Manhattan anymore.

You really think this guy was murdered, E?

Can I call you E?

Sure.

Now, let's say

someone... (clicks tongue)

Ah. (chuckles)

...grabbed a rock and then

bashed Trip's head in with it. (grunts)

Crime of passion, right? Now, the killer

has to think fast,

try to make it look like an accident.

So, uh,

he puts the rock down-

upside down- so no one can see the blood,

and then, er, er, aah!

He sees a fallen tree branch.

(grunts) Okay?

So then, he drags the body over.

Only Trip...

- ...has a pocketful of ball markers. - Ah.

So, when he's dragging the body over,

they're falling out of the pocket,

leaving a trail going all the way

back to the stone well.

Oh, hi, guys.

Look who we found.

Hey.

How was your lesson?

Oh, uh, we identified some areas for improvement.

Well, that is the beauty of golf.

We just came off the front nine, but...

Excuse me, Mr. Stratton.

The GM asked me to give you this.

Uh, thank you.

What is it?

- No, it's nothing. - ELSBETH: Oh, no.

It's not a rules violation letter, is it?

Well, no, apparently, uh, women are requested

to cover their ankles on the course.

YVETTE: Oh, please. No one's enforced that rule

since 1895, Glenn. I'm gonna complain.

Oh, just let it be. We'll get her some socks.

It's ridiculous. Elsbeth, I'm so embarrassed.

No, I'm embarrassed. Please don't make any commotion

on my account. I'll just go down there

and buy a pair of socks.

Well, um, we should get back out there.

It's okay.

I sent you

- a link to the dress code. - I know.

I will get my act together. I'm a big girl.

Uh, but please don't tell my mom about this.

Okay, Mom,

you're acting so weird.

Is everything going okay? I mean, do you think

- that they like us okay? - TEDDY: Yes, it's going fine.

- Okay? I'll see you later. - Okay.

- All right, I love you. - Love you.

ELSBETH: Oh, hi, Perry. Uh, it's me again.

I just want to apologize

for my dress violations.

I assume this last one came from you.

Rules violation reports are expected to remain anonymous.

Oh. Okay.

Well, um, regardless, my...

(clicks tongue)

- ...ankles are out o' sight. - Mm.

Our long national nightmare is over.

(chuckles)

- ELSBETH: Oh. - Copy.

Police are here. That's good.

What do you mean?

We found blood- me and Rory, from

the insurance firm looking into your hole in one-

near the spot where Trip died.

Mm.

Well, that makes sense, you know,

with his injury and all, right?

Oh. You know, we played together that day.

- Oh, right, yes. - Yeah.

- Were you two close? - Oh, yeah.

Yeah, no, he was such a nice guy.

And then a tree branch, you know?

My God. You just never know.

Uh, right.

But the blood wasn't on a branch.

It was on a rock. Like he'd been, you know, struck.

I-I imagine they're gonna open up an investigation.

Well, the blood could have been from something else.

A wounded deer.

Oh. Maybe.

But it really does seem like

someone violently confronted Trip

off the 11th hole.

Wait, isn't that where you got the hole in one?

Oh, Trip must have been so excited for you.

Since you were so close.

Listen, I'm heading to the locker room.

- So... - Oh, right,

yes, of course. No women allowed.

(chuckles) Them's the rules.

- Oh, and Elsbeth? - Hmm?

Your shoe.

Oh.

- (paper rustles) - Yeah, must have

stepped in some sap or something.

WAGNER: All right, team.

We all know Simon Says, yeah?

- CHILDREN: Yes! - WAGNER: Yeah, well,

we're gonna play a game called Officer Says.

I'm gonna give you an instruction, but you

only follow it if I say, "Officer Says."

All right? Shall we try?

CHILDREN: Yes!

Officer says touch your nose.

Officer says jog in place.

Now stop!

Oh. I didn't say, "Officer Says."

So you all would have been out, okay?

Now, ready?

Officer says rub your belly.

TULLY: Captain,

this-this young lady isn't rubbing her belly.

Uh, sorry, you're out.

Well, hang on. And-and we're just practicing.

But next time,

when I say, "Officer Says,"

you be sure to follow the instruction.

My mom says I don't have to follow unlawful orders.

Well, I appreciate you bringing that up.

Let's talk about what she might have meant by...

Yeah, that's not how the game works.

You do what the captain says

- or you're out, okay? - WAGNER: Well, Commissioner, uh,

maybe we can use this opportunity

- to teach the kids about... - Commissioner says

hands on your head where I can see 'em.

Okay, let's not make 'em feel like criminals.

Commissioner says put your hands in the air.

All right, hang on. Uh, officer says

- put your hands down. - Commissioner outranks officer,

so let's go, hands in the air.

You didn't say, "Commissioner says."

(laughs)

That sounds like an unlawful order.

CHILDREN: Ooh...

? ?

The shot was legit. I was there.

We were both there. Right, Jonah?

- Oh, yeah. - ELSBETH: Wow.

You are gonna have to raise dues if I joined this club,

because, whoo, what do you mean the wasabi peas are unlimited?

If I could have you guys sign an affidavit,

- that's all I've... - So you guys were both there,

but did you see the ball go in?

What do you mean?

Sorry.

Ooh. Um, they're good,

but they're very crunchy. (chuckles)

(exhales sharply) Um, you were there,

but did you actually watch the ball go in the hole?

Well, uh, truth be told,

I was getting a drink from the bar cart girl, Cecelia,

- but Jonah saw it. - Uh... no.

I was actually looking at Cecelia, too.

- She's a looker. - RORY: So then, neither of you

actually witnessed Perry's shot?

Well... no,

but it was his ball in the cup for sure,

because he was using those lame monogrammed ones,

and he only had one sleeve of them. He said he's still

futzing with the design.

But Cecelia definitely saw it go in.

- Yeah, Cecelia saw it for sure. - Mm-hmm.

(lisping): You said your name was "Elthbeth"?

Elsbeth.

Sorry, it's my new Invisalign.

I'm still getting used to it.

Oh. That's gonna be tough with a name like Cecelia.

- Don't get me started. - (laughing)

- "Thethelia." - "Thethelia."

You guys thirsty, by the way?

- Uh... - I'd take a water.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Uh, so, out of curiosity,

who was the dentist who did the work for you?

It was Dr. MacIntyre, actually.

Oh, the club must have dental.

No. But he didn't charge.

All the members are so nice here.

Oh, you must have known Trip, then.

Mr. Langenhagen? Oh, he was the best.

It's, like, so sad what happened.

ELSBETH: Mm-hmm.

Did he and Dr. MacIntyre get along?

I think so. Why?

Wait, is there something going on?

I saw police tape out by hole 11.

Hey, if we could just have you

sign this affidavit

confirming that you saw the ball go in the hole.

Um, actually, my dad's a lawyer,

and he told me not to sign anything, ever,

without letting him read it first.

Sure. Uh, take your time.

- Hey, Cecelia. - CECELIA: Hi, guys.

Okay, let's say she lied

- in exchange for free braces. - Yeah, but

how did a ball matching Perry's get in the cup?

Usually, you'd plant it yourself,

but Orson said he got to the hole first,

so Perry wouldn't have had time to.

Maybe there was another conspirator.

One of the members of the foursome just ahead.

(gasps)

Or the caddy.

Yo, MacIntyre.

What's the police tape doing on 11?

What makes you think I know?

Well, Cecelia says that insurance guy

and his weird lady friend are asking questions about you.

I agreed to drop that ball

in exchange for a break on my wife's root canal,

but I didn't sign up for conspiracy to commit murder.

Lower your voice.

First off, no one has said anything about a murder.

Second, you are addressing a member

of the Nickerson Club, one of the oldest,

most prestigious assemblages

of sportsmen on the eastern seaboard,

and you, a caddy, might take

a far more respectful tone when doing so.

You seem a little burned out, Matty. Perhaps it's time

you migrate south.

Lay low for a while.

Oh. Hi.

How was the rest of the round?

It was great. Uh, my parents headed home,

but I'll drive you two back to shower

and get Lydia so we can get back here for cocktails.

Oh, um, actually, Teddy,

can you bring me an outfit for dinner?

I'm just gonna hang back with my new friend Rory.

Your new friend, huh?

Mom, you have that look. What's going on?

What? Nothing.

I'm just helping my friend Rory

with something for his work.

But I'll be back here, and we'll have

a nice, quiet, vanilla dinner.

Promise.

You are not gonna believe this, E.

The caddy for the foursome in front of Perry

just called in to resign.

Yeah. Said his winter gig in Palm Beach

needed him a month early.

Mm. Sounds like he was in a hurry.

I think we found our second conspirator.

Hey, you think we should have crossed that police tape?

I am the police. And we need to find

- that second Molotov ball. - I agree,

a second ball would provide strong evidence

he faked his hole in one.

Especially if that was the first time Perry used

those custom balls, but we already looked.

We stopped looking as soon as we found the bloody stone.

Hey, E.

Why are you out here with me?

Something tells me, uh, you've got, mm,

more on your mind than insurance fraud.

Is it that obvious?

Eh.

I think Perry MacIntyre murdered Trip Langenhagen.

Oh.

Think about it.

We still don't know what Trip was doing

out here in a storm.

Maybe it was the same thing we are.

You think Trip was looking for proof Perry cheated,

and Perry murdered him to cover his ass.

It's a theory.

Trip was in Perry's foursome that day.

Maybe he, um... (clicks tongue)

...saw something and got suspicious.

You know, you would make an amazing claims adjuster.

Oh... (short chuckle) thanks.

My dad thought so, too.

But, uh, it's not for me.

Why not?

I saw what he went through.

His bosses always wanted him to find silly reasons

to deny good claims.

But my dad,

he really believed in the idea of insurance-

that if you pay in, it should be there when you need it.

Sounds like he was too nice for this work.

Oh, no. If he did find someone who was cheating,

he went after them hard.

He hated liars.

PERRY: Oh, there they are.

Folks, uh, we're gonna need to ask you to leave.

- What? Why? - This is a private

- member's club. - Ma'am,

which member are you here with?

You need to stay with them.

She was here with the Strattons,

but they left an hour ago.

Hang on. I have asked Ms. Tascioni

to assist me in my work.

What work? It was a hole in one.

Just cut me my check and be on your way!

Sir. If I am not allowed

to complete my investigation to my satisfaction,

I will have to deny the claim.

Fine, then I will sue you and I will fly myself to Aspen.

Please, both of you, come with us

or I'm going to have to call the police.

We look forward to having you back with a member.

You're not gonna tell the Strattons about this, are you?

Relax, E. I've got a plan.

?

- ELSBETH: Hi. - No hablo English.

Oh, uh, hola. Uh,

me llamo, uh, Rory, y, uh, se�ora...

- Elsbeth. - Okay, I was lying.

What?

We came from the Nickerson Club.

Your yard backs up to the 11th hole?

(groans)

You lose your ball, too?

Right.

okay.

Yes, I'll let them know.

Public affairs confirms.

They are going to cover the "Officer Says" dustup.

Oh, you've really done it now, Charles.

Now, hang on.

You said that you were gonna observe.

Now, if you had stayed out of it and let me make my point...

You undermined me in front of a reporter

and a room full of eight-year-olds.

I believe those children would trust us

if we were honest with them and treated them with respect.

Respect? They still wet the bed.

At eight? That feels a little old.

Enough!

These little games we've been playing over the years

have been fun.

You've won some. I've won some.

But I want to be clear with you.

We are playing a very different game now.

It's called Commissioner Says.

And there's only one rule.

You get in line...

...or you're out.

Am I understood?

Yeah.

(door opens)

Oh, uh,

and you'll be receiving an official reprimand,

by the way.

You'd do well to take it seriously.

Run me through this one more time,

because I feel like I'm playing that game with,

you know, the ball and the three cups,

and I never win that game.

Okay.

So, the day of the tournament- whack-

a ball goes rocketing over the trees

and then lands in Hector the neighbor's koi pond.

Almost killing his beloved kohaku.

- I got that. - Hector

calls the club president, Trip, to complain.

Trip comes to the house to smooth things over,

but when Hector shows him the ball, he sees it's a Molotov 6.

According to Hector,

Trip gets really interested in that.

He knows it's Perry's ball

because he played with him that day.

Trip asks Hector if he can take the ball with him.

Now it is Sunday afternoon, and Trip has the ball

that proves that Perry faked his hole in one.

An hour later, he's found dead.

I got chills, E.

And I've got cocktails.

- Oh. - Okay.

Okay.

This place looks more elegant

every time I see it.

Ms. Tascioni.

- You shouldn't be here. - Oh,

I'm in the company of a member.

And I'm glad I ran into you

because I have a few questions.

- Everything all right? - Oh, yes.

I was just, um, admiring Perry's plaque.

And not the dental kind.

(chuckles)

It's just a little dentist humor there.

Um... anyway,

uh, your ball- it...

it looks so clean.

You'd think there'd be scuff marks.

You played the whole round with it?

I did. I hit a very clean ball.

And how many balls are in a sleeve- three?

Yes.

And you got your hole in one

on your last hole,

so you should still have the other two, right?

What could this possibly matter?

Well, if you could produce

the other two balls, I could probably

just hand them over

to Rory and get him to write you that check

for your Aspen trip right now.

So, the inquisition continues, hmm?

But you still have the balls, right?

Where's your bag, out by the shop?

Yes, I believe so.

Well, so what's the harm in producing them?

It's not like you have something to hide.

Yes. I suppose

I could go run and grab them.

Great, I'll come with.

(Elsbeth and Glenn chuckle)

(Elsbeth laughs)

Here they are.

Two monogrammed Molotov balls, number six.

And you think he took one of these off Trip's dead body

after it landed in the neighbor's yard?

He needed the extra two balls to make his story work.

I think he got the ball from Trip, put it in the sleeve

just in case anyone came looking.

All right, I'll get it to the lab we use.

LYDIA: Elsbeth.

Mom. Um, I'll meet you inside.

You were escorted out of the club for trespassing?

It was a misunderstanding.

They just told Yvette, and she looked so upset.

So was Teddy.

I just don't think

the Strattons are the kind of people

who appreciate you making a scene.

- I wasn't trying to make... - I know,

but the fact is, you embarrassed them.

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to protect Teddy.

I'm gonna tell them you're not feeling well.

We'll take it from here.

Hey, E?

Sorry to interrupt.

Don't mean to listen in. I know family stuff

can be, uh, well, tricky.

Thing is, I just don't want to get your hopes up,

because I... I looked at these balls,

and... they're pretty clean.

Great.

Miriam, I'm sure your doctor did prescribe the orthopedics,

but the rulebook is unambiguous.

If we let you prance around

our formal spaces in rubber soles,

it won't be long before

this whole place looks like a biker bar.

So, as chairman of the rules committee,

I'm sorry, but you're gonna receive a letter.

ELSBETH: Oh, what a coincidence.

We were just coming with a letter for you.

Actually, it's an arrest warrant.

PERRY: What is going on here?

You did your best to clean off the ball

that you hit off the 11th tee.

No,

not the ball over here

on the plaque. This ball,

that you hit so far- whack-

it went beyond the woods,

all the way into Hector the neighbor's koi pond.

- You almost killed his beloved kohaku. - Mm.

I beg your pardon?

Now, it looks clean

to the naked eye,

but the lab found traces

of tree sap. Specifically,

tree sap from the Osage orange tree.

RORY: Now, we got those all over the south, but there's only

one Osage orange on this here property,

and its branch landed on

Trip Langenhagen's head.

Or so you wanted people to think.

Actually, you bashed Trip's head in with a rock,

and then you dragged him

to the fallen tree branch

and then you hauled it onto his body

to make it look like an accident.

When you took back the ball Trip found in the neighbor's pond...

you had tree sap on your hand.

- How else did it get on the ball? - Right, 'cause

the sap- it gets everywhere, including...

(clicks tongue) ...on the bottom of my shoe.

(imitates ripping)

Now, your skin cell DNA

is bound to turn up when they test

the bloody rock that we found,

but either way...

...this slightly sticky ball

proves that you murdered Trip Langenhagen.

Okay, I think you can arrest him now.

Oh, your claim-

denied.

(scoffs) Who cares?

They never let me feel like I belonged.

(soft chuckling)

Oh, um...

Yvette, uh, Glenn, I am so

deeply sorry for all the commotion that I've caused.

Are you kidding me? I haven't

had this much fun in this club

since, uh, Caribbean Night in 2009.

Elsbeth, you have to stop apologizing.

You solved a murder in the time it took us

to play a round of golf.

You're incredible.

I just...

I hope you'll still have Teddy in your family.

YVETTE: Elsbeth, I'm so grateful

to have someone so brilliant and so original

that wants to be a part of our family.

What are-what are you three doing for Thanksgiving?

They do an excellent spread here,

and I have a feeling, with Perry gone,

the dress code is about to get a bit more relaxed.

(laughing)

Maybe we should get married here.

No.

ELSBETH: All right, Ma,

I've been dying to ask. What did I do

to Cousin Judy?

Let's not dig up ancient history.

It just seems like, maybe these situations

aren't always as dire as you perceive them to be.

LYDIA: We're just lucky Roy's family

has been so gracious.

You were amazing, Mom.

Thanks for making the trip this weekend.

I think your father would have loved it here.

That's so funny, I've been thinking about Dad

so much this weekend.

- Oh. I always think of him. - (horn honks)

I'll-I'll see you guys at the car.

Back to Sarasota, then?

I got to see about a hole in one

at a course in Huron, South Dakota.

- Whoa. - Want to come with me?

I have to get back to my dog.

Elsbeth,

this has been more fun than a bucket of balls.

(laughs)

I'm sure you get that all the time.

I'm pretty sure I've never gotten that.

I'll see you around, E.

There it is.

Thirty years on the force,

and my first written reprimand.

Who wants tea sandwiches?

I got these from Roy's club.

Those places put out so much food,

so much of it goes to waste.

I'll take them to the break room.

Well? How was it?

Controversial.

I know.

Teddy sent me the link to the View story.

I've been formally rebuked.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, so was I.

Several times, actually.

Sometimes you have to break the rules

to get to the right result.

I appreciate the sentiment.

But I'm not sure I want to be a member of a club

whose rules need breaking.

What does that mean?

I don't know yet.

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