Original subtitles

NARRATOR: Allow me to regale to you the tale of the Slimoids.

Downloaded from YTS.BZ

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ

[HEAVY METAL MUSIC]

[TENSE MUSIC]

There was once a mad scientist who

performed unspeakable experiments upon both herself

and others.

[CHUCKLES] Rich Stanton.

I'm sorry.

Andre DeCoteau.

Uh, Craig Allen.

NARRATOR: She turned herself into a wretched creature that

sought to bring destruction upon the human race

and to assist with this diabolical plan... created

a race of monstrous mutations.

Together, they embarked on a murderous rampage,

beginning by targeting her own research team.

[GENTLE ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

But there was something she hadn't counted on...

[GASPS] You should kill those slimy bastards.

NARRATOR:... Dan Stewart, the brother of one of her victims,

and two intrepid detectives who stopped at nothing to bring

an end to her mad dream.

Together, they brought an end to her nightmare

and saved the world from a gooey fate.

But as we all know, true evil never really dies, it only

evolves.

[TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[DOOR THUDS]

Jesus.

What happened to you?

I had a nightmare.

A nightmare?

Yeah.

Do you happen to remember how long

you and I have lived together?

About three years.

And in that three years, how often

have I felt the need to tell you about my dreams?

What the hell did you dream about?

Her face, she had a mask and a coat.

It was long and white.

Her hair was long and stringy.

Her skin was oily.

Nice.

She locked eyes with me and she spoke, but without speaking.

And in 100 different voices, I heard, "My flesh is weak."

Your flesh is weak.

"All flesh is weak," and that it's time to change.

We need to change.

Harper, stop.

We're going to melt.

- THE BEING (VOICEOVER): Melt! - We need to melt.

THE BEING (VOICEOVER): Melt!

It's good to melt...

THE BEING (VOICEOVER): Melt!

...melt into something different, hopefully, something better.

I feel sick.

Yes, exactly.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Your flesh is mine.

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

BUG LADY:... you know, hitting all the haunts.

KARATE IRVING: This is scary stuff, folks.

CHARLIE: The creature...

KARATE IRVING: Oh, I'm telling you what.

CHARLIE:... flies off the hinge.

Oh, man.

Hey, everybody.

It's me, Karate Irving.

Oh, my gosh, I had to pull over here.

I'm at one of my customer's houses right now.

It was scary because I didn't think

I was gonna live through it.

Anyway, I'm a good pizza delivery man.

Don't ever let anybody ever tell you that Karate Irving does not

do his pizza delivery and takes his pizza delivery

very, very seriously.

BUG LADY: I'm into bugs.

Oh, yeah. I'm super into bugs.

Bit of an expert.

More of a hobbyist, really, but.

Hi, friend.

I love bugs.

DAN: [CHUCKLES]

KARATE IRVING: Now I'm at Mr. Smith's house.

It's OK for me to be recording at his house.

He said it would be fine.

I just got done telling him what I went through.

Holy moly!

I came down Elm Street a few minutes ago to make a delivery.

And then up on Buckingham Palace curve,

oh, I'm telling you what, Karate Irving ain't afraid of nothing,

but those curves on Buckingham Palace Road are scary.

Hello, this is Charlie, vlog number 14, dated August 22.

So, uh, today marks two weeks that I have shared cohabitation

with the creature.

It's been a strange existence.

[GASPS] He's got all them woods.

I feel like I'm in Friday the 13th.

I don't want to find no Jason, but I would, wah!

[IMITATES BRUCE LEE] Yah!

- Woo! - Oh, look at that.

I scared my camera.

[LAUGHS]

He is messy.

He's a bit disrespectful and flies off

the hinge here and there.

But I've noticed that he remains a bit more

docile if I have my mask on.

I'm not sure what the thought process is there.

But if I don't have a mask on, he

seems to be a bit more aggressive.

So whenever he's at home with me, I tend to put my mask on.

[GASPS] Anyway, I gotta tell you about this because this is

the most scary thing.

Let me try and adjust my camera.

It's the most scary thing I ever been through.

And you Karate Irving ain't afraid of nothing.

Oh, man.

Anyways, as I'm coming down Buckingham Palace Road,

you know, all them curves, it's like seven miles long.

And the woods and all the trees are hanging down.

And you know how it's got that moss.

And sometimes I... it hits my windshield because the city

won't come out and clean it up.

Anyways, this is scary stuff, folks.

One of those little creatures, it

looked like... it looked like a hand.

It came and landed on my windshield and I was like, ah!

But I wasn't too scared 'cause I'm Karate Irving

and I don't scare easy.

I'll fight Chuck Norris.

Wah!

[IMITATES BRUCE LEE] Wah!

Yes, I will.

I'm not afraid of him.

BUG LADY: So I was doing my rounds,

you know, hitting all the haunts.

I like to go from yard to yard and look into people's gardens.

I've been caught once or twice, but mostly people just

let me do my thing, you know?

I'm kind of known around here as the Bug Lady.

Well, this thing was on the outside of my windshield.

He was climbing along.

Did I get scared?

Hell no!

I hit my windshield wipers and it went like, pow!

'Cause I got real powerful windshield wipers, man.

I don't fool around with the rain.

The rain is a very dangerous thing.

You got to get powerful wipers like, woop, woop, woop, woop,

woop, woop.

That little creature went flying and I was like, laughing.

I was like, ah, ha, ha, ha!

Ah, ha, ha, ha!

Karate Irving showed you!

Ah, ha, ha, ha!

[PHONE RINGING]

- Hello? - I hope this is important.

I was reading the complete works of Oscar Wilde.

GABBY (ON PHONE): Hello, Dan.

Who is this?

GABBY (ON PHONE): The name's Gabby.

Gabby?

I think you have the wrong number.

GABBY (ON PHONE): Oh, I'm sure I do.

I've been watching you, Dan.

Who are you?

GABBY (ON PHONE): She sent me, Dan.

You know who.

But she's dead.

[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]

GABBY (ON PHONE): Maybe in the traditional sense of the word.

But she's been keeping an eye on you while you sleep, Dan.

She's been peeking into your mind.

She sent me to watch your every single move.

I'm always around you, Dan.

Look, I don't know who you are or what you are,

but I'm gonna stop you and her.

GABBY (ON PHONE): I think you'll find that a bit more difficult

this time.

I'm not gonna let this nightmare repeat itself,

not again.

GABBY (ON PHONE): I'm sorry.

I don't mean to cut you off, but you have a really nice voice.

You sick bitch.

Listening... hey, wait, what?

GABBY (ON PHONE): Mm-hmm.

It's really light and relaxing.

Oh, well.

Well, thank you.

No one really ever compliments my voice.

GABBY (ON PHONE): You're kidding.

No, no, I...

I always thought it sounded kind of boring, actually.

GABBY (ON PHONE): No, no, it's nice and reserved.

It's kind of relaxing, honestly.

Oh, well.

Well, thank you.

GABBY (ON PHONE): Yeah, I mean, I

know I'm supposed to be some kind of unseen, lurking threat,

but honestly, I don't know.

It's embarrassing.

- Oh, come on now. - What is it?

GABBY (ON PHONE): I don't know.

Your voice is kind of cute.

Oh, well.

Well, thank you so much.

GABBY (ON PHONE): But you better stay scared of us.

- Right. - Evil monsters and all that.

GABBY (ON PHONE): Yeah.

Yeah.

GABBY (ON PHONE): Well, good night.

[EERIE ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

"She was a Russian Princess and had driven all the way from

Finland in a sledge drawn by six reindeer."

Oh, you truly were Oscar Wilde.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[GAGS]

[RETCHES]

[RETCHES]

[COUGHS]

[SPITS]

[EERIE MUSIC]

Craig.

Yeah?

RICH: Did you ever think this is where life was gonna lead us?

[CHUCKLES] Well, you know, Rich, pretty much.

You know, I figured by this point in our lives,

we'd be living in a submarine under the sea, chasing squids.

Huh.

Why do you ask?

No reason.

Nothing.

Actually, the situation of our lives

right now has been weighing heavily on me lately.

Tell me about it.

RICH: Well, five years ago, we should have died.

We didn't.

I'm just trying to figure out what...

What was all that for.

What was the value?

Why can life give us this opportunity

to have this meaningful death and then turn around and hand us

another meaningless life?

Life is never meaningless, Rich.

Never.

RICH: That's debatable.

And life is certainly meaningless, at least this one.

[LAUGHS] You know, Rich, fear is a dominant beast.

Is that your new mantra?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm gonna get us some drinks.

- Can I get... - No.

Can I get you anything specific?

Well, you know, there's one more jar of pickles left,

if you don't mind getting them for me, Rich.

Gotcha. [PAPER RUSTLING]

Fear is a dominant beast.

[EERIE MUSIC]

[SOMBER MUSIC]

Dan Stewart?

Yeah.

I'm Detective O'Bannon.

This is Detective Emerson.

What can I help you guys with?

We were hoping we could come in and talk to you for a moment.

What's this about?

It's your sister, Dan.

My sister?

She's dead, Dan.

Calm down, Dan.

We don't think you killed your sister.

DAN: Yeah, that's not what I'm worried about.

Now, we just want to know if there's anything you can tell us

that could possibly help us catch whoever did this.

Did she make any enemies that you're aware of?

All right, well, thank you very much for your time, Dan.

We're sorry for having bothered you.

I know this can't be easy for you.

DAN: No, it's fine.

I just want to know what happened to her.

We'll keep you informed.

If you can think of any more information, even the smallest

little thing, give us a call.

DAN: Yeah, I will.

[SIGHS]

[PHONE RINGING]

Yeah?

DAN (ON PHONE): Detective O'Bannon?

Former Detective O'Bannon.

DAN (ON PHONE): What?

You retired?

No.

Emerson and I got on permanent leave.

DAN (ON PHONE): What?

Why?

Well, a bunch of stories going around,

and the crazy mutant, slimy creatures chasing us

kind of makes us look a little fucking insane.

On top of that, both Emerson and I

have been diagnosed with some hardcore agoraphobia.

And that makes us useless detectives currently.

I... I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, it's not your fault.

Actually, Dan, it is your fault.

Look, things haven't been that great for me either.

I can barely get through a day.

I feel listless.

I lost my job about a year ago, and I've been living off

savings ever since.

- And I keep having these... - OK.

How can I help you, Dan?

I keep having nightmares.

I'm not a psychiatrist either, Dan.

Dreams about her.

The crazy tentacle bitch?

Yeah.

A night ago, I got a call from somebody

saying that she's still alive.

Uh, considering she had her head chainsawed off,

it makes that death kind of permanent, wouldn't you say?

[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]

Look, I'm... I'm scared.

Well, I think we're all a little scared, Dan.

DAN (ON PHONE): What do you mean by that?

Is that Dan Stewart?

Please, tell him I said fear is a dominant beast.

Would you shut the fuck up, Keith?

Listen, Dan, I know we haven't lived very exciting lives.

Facing off against mutants in a basement

wasn't exactly where I expected life to take me.

I think we can all agree that it was

one of the most exciting things that have ever happened to us.

And what's really shitty about it is that we lived.

Now we have to go through the rest of our lives

living in fear, fear that nothing

like that will happen to us again.

Just the idea that that nightmare

was the peak of my life haunts me every single day.

I... I'm sorry.

Bye.

[SIGHS]

[PAPER RUSTLING]

What do you fear the most, Rich?

The possibility that love is not enough.

[TENSE MUSIC]

KARATE IRVING: Those little creatures...

BUG LADY:... a little freak.

CHARLIE:... is I found some green fluid.

BUG LADY: I don't know if this thing was a bug per se.

KARATE IRVING: But I had no choice.

CHARLIE:... be responsible for the recent murders that

have happened.

KARATE IRVING: It was like a slimoid invasion.

And then another one landed on my windshield.

But this one was blue.

It's scary, too.

It's all shaggy, and he had teeth coming out where

it's, like, shaggy, this what.

It was like... almost like this...

Almost like... almost like Cousin It on the Addams Family,

but not as cute and funny.

But, uh, one thing that concerns me is I

found some green fluid in the back of my car last night.

And [SIGHS] it matches the same organic material

that the creature secretes from some

of its pores and its salivary glands.

KARATE IRVING: [GASPS] Anyway, this one was scary.

It had big, old nasty teeth.

It was like, [GROWLING] The idea was horrible for a windshield wiper.

I said, I gotta try something new.

I zipped my van to the left.

And I don't want to wreck my van because I just

finished paying it off.

It's a beautiful, beautiful Chevy van,

just like the song says.

In a van down by the river!

Now, I don't know if this thing was a bug per se.

I mean, it was certainly bug-like.

Kind of hard to look at, to be honest.

It was bigger than a frog, but smaller than a cat.

It was freak-sized, you know?

It was like a little freak.

Anyways, then the blue one went flying off and I thought,

woo-hoo, I'm free now of those little creatures.

And I whipped on around the next curve.

Man, that was a bad idea, but I had no choice.

I gotta make pizza deliveries, see?

Anyways.

I fear he might have snuck into the back of my car

when I was investigating one of the recent homicides

and stowed away with me back to my place.

By that logic, he could very well

be responsible for some of the recent murders that

have happened, the...

Slimoids!

That's what the newspaper called 'em.

It was like, I don't know, it was like three years ago.

There was like a slimoid invasion.

All these little creatures, red ones and blue ones, big teeth.

Ones shaped like hands.

Just little tiny critters.

They can cause some damage, folks.

Man, I didn't want to let 'em in my van

either because they'd eat my pizza.

Or they'd eat me, I don't know.

I'm still looking for work.

Yeah.

Have you talked to Mom lately?

You fucking idiot.

Hey, do you think Mom hates me?

What an embarrassment.

I just don't want her to blame me for what happened with Eva.

What an absolute disgrace.

And...

What a fucking idiot.

You're just like your father.

You're just like your father.

What a disgrace.

My worst mistake ever.

[KNOCKING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

Dan.

Dan?

That's me.

I got your medium meat lover's here.

It's, uh, 25, 24.57.

Oh, Jesus.

That's expensive.

And that's before the tip.

Right.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

I doubt it.

Aren't you on, like, TV or anything?

No.

I swear, I know you from somewhere.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[PANTING] I know you from somewhere.

Look, can I just have my pizza?

Wait, I got it.

You're that guy.

That... that guy that... that fought those little monster

things.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Dan Stevens.

Stewart.

Wow.

This is wild.

I mean, like, you're a genuine hero.

I'm nobody.

Bitch.

[SIGHS] Thinks he's the hero.

I'm the hero here.

- Huh? - What?

[GAGGING]

[DISTORTED GROANING]

[GAGGING]

[WHEEZING]

[EERIE MUSIC]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

DR. FISHER (ON PHONE): Hello, Rich,

this is Dr. Fisher calling.

- Oh, hey. - What's up?

DR. FISHER (ON PHONE): I got the results back.

Well, sort of.

Sort of?

DR. FISHER (ON PHONE): Uh, look, look, Rich.

I'm very sorry, but slime monster bites

are a very new field right now.

We... we still don't truly understand what's

happening to you.

I feel like I'm dying.

DR. FISHER (ON PHONE): Then I recommend getting to a hospital.

They may not be able to help much,

but they can at least help you with the pain.

I'm sorry, Rich.

[SIGHS]

CRAIG: You know, Rich, I remember the first time

we went out drinking together.

You mentioned about that time we bust in on that old couple

and one of them got shot.

You told me about the fear of being a brand new police

officer.

And this, this was before this before we became detectives.

You remember that?

We... we were just two rookies looking to make some bread.

Figured we'd save the whole world.

Weren't even prepared for some of the shit that would happen.

And then something happened, you know.

Life, life, it gets... it gets boring,

it gets, uh... it gets repetitive.

You know, you live in a small town,

small shit happens every day.

[CHUCKLES] [COUGHING]

What I'm... what I'm saying is you, you had it in you to be a...

A good cop and...

And a good human being.

And you still do.

You're still that young rookie cop in my eyes.

You're still that young rookie cop, partner.

[COUGHING] You're still him.

And we can get through this.

[COUGHING] If we got through all that other shit,

decades of bullshit, then we can get through this unbelievable,

weird, monstrous shit that's happened that's changed...

Changed our lives and... And... and devastated...

Devastated everything.

I mean, I just want you...

I just wish you would...

I wish you'd just come out of that goddamn room!

And I'm not gonna say this ever again,

but you're the best goddamn cop that this town has ever seen,

even better than Marty Maguire.

May he rest in peace.

Greatest cop champion ever.

[SIGHS] Fear is a dominant beast.

I love you, Rich.

[TENSE ROCK MUSIC]

[GROANING]

[GROANING]

[TENSE ROCK MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

[PHONE RINGING]

Yes?

GABBY (ON PHONE): Hello, Dan.

Oh, Gabby, right?

GABBY (ON PHONE): You remembered?

Yeah, why wouldn't I?

GABBY (ON PHONE): I'm not sure.

I guess I'm just a little bit surprised.

Oh, why would that surprise you?

GABBY (ON PHONE): That you'd remember my name.

I mean, I'm just kind of a disembodied voice to you.

Hell, my original intentions were to threaten your life.

Well, you know, I think that makes you pretty memorable.

GABBY (ON PHONE): I guess.

Hey, Dan?

Yeah?

GABBY (ON PHONE): Be careful, OK?

There's some bad stuff going on, and I

know it won't be too long before you get involved with it.

You're a good guy.

Just be safe.

What do you mean?

GABBY (ON PHONE): Just be safe, Dan.

[GULPS]

KARATE IRVING: And that wasn't all.

Before I got out of that infamous curve,

they was all over.

But you know what I did?

You know what I did?

I made like a Mario Andretti, is what I did.

I floored it!

Man, I was like, [IMITATING TIRES SCREECHING]

Zippety-dow, zippety-dow.

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Those creatures were flying all over.

There's been a lot of homicides recently,

and, uh, he could be involved.

He could be responsible.

I'm not sure.

Oh, man.

Whew!

But I am a professional pizza delivery man.

Nothing will stop me from delivering my pizza.

That's how I got my name.

Karate Irving, the pizza delivery warrior.

And all the plants were just, [TRILLS LIPS].

There was something back there, you know?

I was gonna try to get a picture of it or something,

and it started making these, like, crazy sounds.

I'll tell you what, folks.

It's some scary stuff out there.

Them slimoids ain't nothing to be messing around with.

They scary!

Whew, man!

I try to stay on his good side.

I try to be friendly with him because I want to study him.

I want to learn his secrets and find out what he is.

So, you know, I'm kind of riding it out to see where we get.

All right, now that the danger is over

and I told all you folks, all my Karate Irving followers

out there, be careful of the slimoids.

[KNOCKING]

What?

Rich, uh, I'm going out.

You're what?

I'm getting the hell out of here.

I... I'm tired of this.

Tired of what?

Of hiding, being afraid of the whole God damn world.

What the hell is there to be afraid of?

Too much.

CRAIG: I can't live like this anymore.

I'm going for a drink.

I'll be at Leon's.

Oh, Christ.

Well, are you coming with me, Rich?

Rich!

Are you coming with me for a drink?

Just go have yourself a good time.

You can't hide and rot in there forever.

Go have yourself some fun, OK?

Rich, you're my best friend, and I miss you.

BUG LADY: It gave me nightmares, gave me nightmares, gave me nightmares.

It gave me nightmares.

Oh, sorry.

I gotta pick up some more pizzas so I can go back on the road

and make some more money.

But I'll tell you what, if I have come back to his house,

I'll use the back roads.

I think I hear him.

Get this up just in case.

Righty, is that you?

[CHUCKLES] Oh, you want me to make the sound.

I don't know if I can.

[GRUNTING] Something like that.

It gave me nightmares.

Now the back roads suck, but I ain't never

seen no slimoids over there.

But coming in on this road, forget it, man, too many

slimoids.

So everybody out there, all my Karate Irving followers,

you all be careful when you go out at night.

Well, dude, what are you doing?

I told you, stay out of my stuff.

- What? - Dude, no, stop.

What are you...

Because I'm telling you what, man.

I'm telling you what.

Slimoids are real.

And slimoids are everywhere!

Hello, baby brother.

Eva?

What's the matter?

Not gonna give your big sister a hug?

Eva, I'm sorry if I'm a little speechless,

but you're supposed to be dead.

I am dead.

[GRUNTS]

- She's not letting me rest. - She?

You know, Auriana.

So she's not dead.

"Dead."

You keep saying that word like it means something.

In the metaphysical hellscape that is her mind,

it is a moot point.

But it doesn't change the fact that I was brutally murdered

by gooey little monsters.

[RUSTLING]

Eva, I just want you to know, I am so sorry.

Sorry?

Sorry for what, Dan?

For not being there?

For not even coming to my funeral?

For being such a coward?

I'm not a coward.

You let so many people die.

I stopped her, though.

[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]

You tried.

I failed?

In so many ways.

I wanted to live, Dan.

Do you understand that?

There were so many things I wanted to do, so many ways

I wanted to make up for what I did with Auriana.

There was so much good I could have done, so many

things I wanted to see and do and feel.

And now I never will.

Do you have any idea how much that sucks?

Yeah.

There was so much left for me, and it all got taken away.

And it's my fault.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

It's for you.

Hey there, dumbass.

I know that voice.

Another victim of your stupidity.

Do yourself a favor.

Close your eyes and think of your kitchen.

Why?

Oh, is someone trying to break up our reunion?

Just do it, Dan.

Hello, Dan.

Who the hell are you?

No, really, I have no idea.

Mills, Henry Mills.

I worked with your sister.

You came to me for info about Buechler.

[SIGHS] All right, let's make it quick, then.

- DAN: What? - HENRY: She sent you here to kill me.

You let me die.

You dumbass!

Yeah, that's right, the coffee guy, right?

Right, the coffee guy.

[WATER SPLASHING]

But you're dead, too.

[LAUGHS] Christ, I wish.

Auriana won't let us rest.

...letting me rest.

So she is alive.

Mm, sort of.

She's technically alive.

She's just not here.

What do you mean?

[TRILLS LIPS] This gets a little brainy.

Are you sure you're up for it?

Just tell me.

OK.

One of Auriana's little side projects

delved into the realm of metaphysics.

A lot of us didn't ask too many questions about it.

It was a little too esoteric for our taste.

[CHUCKLES]

But anyway, she basically believed

that she could achieve some kind of basic immortality

by transferring her consciousness into a pocket

dimension on the event of her death.

When you sawed her head off, she willed herself out of her body

into that pocket dimension.

So that's where she's been...

In my dreams.

She's got quite the grudge against you, Dan.

That's why she's been peeping into this world

through those little dreams of yours.

What about you and my sister?

Pure necroplasm, Dan.

Basically, Auriana's also figured out

how to trap other consciousnesses into her pocket

dimension, and she can also use all that power

to materialize other things into this world.

Really, really bad shit, Dan.

Pure minus energy.

What is minus energy?

Doesn't matter.

The important thing is that you stop her, Dan.

[TENSE ROCK MUSIC]

I'll fuck a fucking bullet right into that bitch's skull!

Easy there, Mr. Bronson.

It's not gonna be so simple.

She doesn't have a physical body anymore, at least not

in the traditional sense.

You're gonna need to go into that pocket dimension

and finish her off.

And how can I do that?

You'll just need to lay down, fall asleep, and slip into it.

But once you're in there, you're gonna

need to really concentrate to make sure

that you're not riddled with all that minus energy.

Otherwise, you'll become just like us.

[RETCHES] [COUGHS]

Are you OK?

[COUGHS] Shit, no.

[COUGHS] Christ.

Dan, this shit fucking hurts.

I'm sorry.

[SPITS] Don't apologize.

Just finish her.

- I only have one more question, though. - Yeah?

What is it?

That girl, the one who's been calling me.

One of Auriana's little tulpas.

Will she disappear too?

Who knows?

This is tricky business, Dan.

Godspeed, Dan Stewart.

CRAIG: You know, Leon.

Lots of changes have happened here.

Big changes, small changes.

But don't let me lose my train of thought.

[SMACKING LIPS] You know, everything has changed.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

But change is part of life.

It's part of the fabric that we're built on.

Changes are part of the way the world works.

Without change, everything would stay the same.

Without change, nothing would be resolved,

nothing would get better.

Everything would remain the way it is.

And when you embrace change, only then

you understand the unknown and understand

the demons that come with our misunderstood world.

Change is what stops us from remaining in the same sweltering

shit hole that we were born into.

Because we don't choose those things.

We don't choose who we are at birth.

We don't choose who we are as children.

It's molded into us.

And it's the brilliance of change

that makes the world go round.

You get what I mean?

[TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

THE BEING (VOICEOVER): Find me.

Find me.

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

Find me.

Find me.

[EERIE MUSIC]

Poor, helpless Dan.

[TENSE MUSIC]

You can't stop me.

You can't stop me.

Poor, helpless Dan.

[TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

You can't stop me.

Maybe you'll find this more intimidating.

You can't stop me.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

DAN (VOICEOVER): Please, stop me.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

Please stop me.

Please stop me.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

Please stop me.

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

Please stop me.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

Please stop me.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SIGHING]

[SEMETARY SPAWN, "PAYBACK IS A BEAST"]

(SINGING) I didn't even hesitate

The time was right

The good doctor was out to get you all

Endlessly in sight

When the stars aligned

And before you arrived

And everything was set to detonate

The ticking box was wrapped in paper

And the paper was tied with hate

Payback is a beast

No doubt

GABBY: You did it, Dan.

Huh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I really should go.

Gabby?

Yeah.

It's OK.

I... I don't mind.

Really?

I know I probably look a little worse than you expected.

It's OK.

We're not all perfect, right?

Oh, Dan.

You know, Leon, I think this is all I really need.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, I'm right at home here.

Uh, you can't sleep here.

CRAIG: No, no.

But I could come back tomorrow.

Yeah, I haven't seen you in a while.

Well, that's life, right?

Everything changes.

There's lots of change.

Things change, right?

[CHUCKLES]

You look good, Leon.

LEON: What would you like?

Uh, same as this guy.

I knew you'd make it.

RICH: Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Let's enjoy these drinks while we can.

[MIKE TREBILCOCK, "WHAT I'M CONTENT WITH NOW"]

(SINGING) What are you afraid of now?

It was a question without malice

Hello?

DAN (ON PHONE): Hey, Detective.

- Still not a detective. - You got a wife who supports you

Hi, Dan.

DAN (ON PHONE): I just wanted to call and let you know...

(SINGING) A daughter who adores you

DAN (ON PHONE):... I think everything worked out.

Thanks for listening to me and for chewing me out.

I think I needed it.

Now, I hope everything works out for you, too.

(SINGING) What are you afraid of now

DAN (ON PHONE): You're a good guy.

You're a good man, too.

You're a good guy, Dan Stewart.

(SINGING) You've got a dog by your side

Well, good night.

RICH: Good night.

(SINGING) Two cats by your feet

A mom and a dad

Was that Dan Stewart?

Sure was.

Now there's a guy that deserves a happy ending.

(SINGING) I have got all those things and more

But sooner or later

One way or another

I've got all those things and more

[COUGHING]

How's the drink?

(SINGING) Sooner or later

It's good.

I hope I can finish it.

(SINGING) Now and forever

I hope you can.

(SINGING) I'm gonna go away

You know, I was thinking about...

(SINGING) That's what I'm afraid of

...what you were saying about fear.

Mm.

Fear is a dominant best.

(SINGING) What are you content with now?

It really is.

(SINGING) She asked with all good intentions

So, come to any conclusions?

I don't know.

I mean, I've lived most of my life, I was infested with fear.

It's one of the reasons why I became a detective, I think.

I thought that if I could prevent that fear...

(SINGING) We've lost so many friends

- ...in others, maybe forget about my own. - If I could...

(SINGING) And grief seems like a constant companion

...stop the monsters, I wouldn't have to worry about

my own.

(SINGING) Lifted by the angry tide

But I don't...

I don't really think I got over it.

You know?

(SINGING) Yeah, I've got all those things and more

We had a good life, yeah?

(SINGING) But sooner or later

I'd say so.

(SINGING) One way or another

Let me just...

I'm just gonna lay my head down.

(SINGING) I've got all those things and more

Hey, Craig.

(SINGING) But sooner or later

CRAIG: Yeah, Rich?

Is this a good ending?

(SINGING) It's all gonna fade away

CRAIG: A damn good ending.

(SINGING) That's what I'm content with now

It's all gonna fade away

That's what I'm content with now

All good?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

[UNSETTLING ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

I'll tell you what.

Sometime years ago, I met up, when

I was making a pizza delivery, these people

conjured up a Ouija mummy.

That Ouija mummy is nothing compared

to these... these slimoid things.

I'm just lucky to still have my life.

Whew!

All right, everybody, I'll talk to you later.

If nothing happens, it means Karate Irving's OK.

I got one back.

Got some more pizza, made some more pizza deliveries,

and made me probably 100 bucks tonight in tips.

I'm pretty good.

I'm their number-one driver, you know?

Karate Irving!

Karate Irving, over and out.

See ya, fans.

I love all of you.

Bye-bye.