Original subtitles

My sweet man, I love him so, so he's mean as can be.

you

Rick wants to hire me.

He's at a new studio.

Where is it?

India.

When?

I don't remember what year. There's no year. How do you know there's a year for

that? I think they say the 14th century.

The 14th century was recently.

No, but I don't know. That's when the Mughals were ruling. Babur was in India.

It's definitely B.C.

It's B.C. for sure.

And I think it's Ayodhya.

And Sri Lanka.

I know that because they raised that temple.

They said that Ram was born there. Which I don't believe, but that's what they

say. And Ayodhya is in the state of Uttar Pradesh. It's right there.

Therefore, the story has to be true.

It's probably based on as real an event as the Bible is based on.

You want to know the whole story?

Oh, because Ram's father had four wives.

Three wives.

Three wives? Four sons.

Four sons, three wives. Okay, I know the names of the sons, by the way.

Kaushalya. That was the wife. That's what I meant.

Kaushalya, Sumitra and Kaikeyi.

And Kaushalya's son was Ram.

Sumitra's son was Lakshman.

Kaikeyi's son was Bharat. So impressed.

And Shatrughan, I think, was Lakshman's brother, which means he had to be

Subitra's son.

Sita was Ram's wife. Right.

And Sita, I know also, came... Sita's father was Janak.

Sita has many names.

Sita has only been one of them. Yeah.

Janaki. Janaki also. Janaki also.

And Vahish... I saw a play.

Vaidahi. Vaidahi.

I saw a play called Vaidahi, right, which I learned was another name for

Sita.

Rama was about to be crowned by Dashrath as the king and Keke went to him because

she had done something really good. I think she had taken care of him when he

was really sick or something like that. Yes.

And so at that point he had said to her that you have one boon or anything you

ask of me I will do.

And so she went and asked him to send Rama away for 14 years thinking that was

a long enough time that if you go away for 14 years you're pretty much out of

sight out of mind.

Rama, my son, today I wish to crown you king of Ayodhya, but my evil, scheming

wife Kaikai just reminded me of an ancient vow I made.

To honor this vow, instead of crowning you king, I must banish you to the

forest for 14 years.

Goodbye, dear boy.

You are noble and good, the embodiment of righteousness, a brave warrior

prince.

joy of heaven and earth, the ideal man.

May the gods be with you.

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

That's what she asked for, and Darshad was heartbroken.

But... He died. Given that all Indian men are true to their word, he had to.

He had to do that.

And didn't he die?

Didn't he die? No, I don't think. He died eventually.

No, but all those...

I don't think he died right away. Ram Leela's I've seen when I was a kid.

He died right away?

There's this big scene, very dramatic.

He's having a heart attack when his son is going away.

I just assume he's dying then. I do think he's unwell. I do think something

happens where he goes... He has a stroke. And he also has a huge issue,

right? He's like ravaged by guilt because Ram was a good son.

And Ram, when he was told to go away, actually said he would. He didn't create

any problems. He didn't kind of say why.

He just kind of said, if that is your wish, father, I shall go.

And he went.

And Sita said, if you go, I go.

No, Sita.

The forest is beset by Rakshasa demons.

They harass our wise men and desecrate their ritual fires.

I must fight them alone.

But Rama, a woman's place is next to her husband.

I will accept any hardship.

I cannot live without you. I cannot live without you.

I cannot live without you. I cannot live without you. I cannot live without...

I

hate to think what might have been if we had never met.

Why should I suppose that this could be?

The weary days the lonely nights are easy to forget

miss you it's only a six-month contract i'll be back before you know it

shravana

was the evil king of lanka and he

just stole sita

But he was an incredibly learned man. From what I understand, Ravana was...

Actually, the only bad thing he seems to have done is capture Sita.

Like, kidnap Sita. Which is kind of interesting because, like, everything

else about him seems to be like he's this really learned guy. He knows all

these weapons. He plays to the right gods, I guess. So all this stuff, and

he's like this good king.

Except that over time, we've been led to believe more and more that he's this

complete... Like, he's like Mogambo.

Mm-hmm.

That's true. He lived on an island also. He lived on an island. Yeah.

It was a devoted Shiva. Yeah.

Shiva Bhakta. And he plays Veena with his intestines, I think, for Shiva.

With his intestines?

Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. I didn't know that. For Shiva.

Yeah, there's this whole thing about how devoted a fan he was.

And he's asking Lord Shiva for some wish. And, you know, he is

basically playing.

Veena with his intestine, so... It's hard to fail someone in battle, because

at this point, what is pain to a man who plays Veena on his intestine? Nothing

much. What I'm really impressed is, you know, that he was a king of Sri Lanka.

No, he was a king of Lanka. Huge.

It was Lanka.

It was called Ceylon.

It's the same country, I think. Well, the point is, that's what we think.

They built a bridge. The bridge still exists, so NASA images say. Really?

NASA? It must be true then.

It's not when they were on the moon.

Isn't that Surupnaka's story? Surupnaka, right?

Surpanaka.

I'm messing up her name. God, they're going to be after me. Surpanaka is the

one with the really ugly nose. Surpanaka, but she was Ravana's sister.

Ravana,

Rama has slaughtered your rakshasas in the forest.

You must take revenge.

Don't do it, master.

Rama is powerful.

Sister, do not bother me with your petty concerns.

Dear brother Ravana, have you seen Rama's wife, Sita?

She is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Her skin is fair like the lotus blossom.

Her eyes are like lotus boots.

Her hands are like, um, lotuses. Her breasts like...

Big, round, firm, juicy lotuses.

Make Sita your wife, Ravana.

Steal her from Rama.

Don't do it, master.

I'll hear no arguments from you, Maricha.

You must help me at once.

Transform yourself into a beautiful golden deer to distract Rama.

While Sita is unguarded, I'll grab her.

Sita will be mine.

What

a

beautiful golden deer.

Oh Rama, won't you capture it for me?

I don't know, Sita. It could be a trick.

Oh, Rama, please.

All right, Sita.

You ask for so little and give me so much, but promise you won't leave the

hut while I'm gone.

The forest is dangerous.

I promise.

Oh, Rama, I love you.

I love you, Sita.

love was blind to me now it's kind to me love has opened my

eyes since it came to me life's a game to me with the

sweetest surprise i never knew how good it was to be

a slave to one

deep in his heart i know he loves me heaven knows why and when

he tells me he can't live without me what wouldn't i do

for that man he's not an angel or saint and what's the odds that

he ain't with all his fault i know he'll get by i'll be so

true to him

never doubt me what wouldn't i do for that man for

when he let me lean my my weary head on his shoulder

i close my eyes right there and

wish i never grow

troubles my own i love that man as nobody can i'm

just no good when his arms are about me what wouldn't i do

for that man oh what wouldn't i do for that man

him alone i'll make his troubles my own i love that man better than i do

myself i'm just no good when his arms are about me

what wouldn't i do for that man oh there's not a thing i

wouldn't do

But you know what Sita does then? How she actually is able to tell these

people where she drops her jewellery along the way, right?

And that's how they were able to find it.

It went all the way up to Lanka.

How many times did she drop the jewellery? She was wearing a lot of

jewellery in the first.

I mean, no, remember she's not wearing any jewellery because she left

everything before she left Ayodhya and she came. She left everything? Yeah, she

did. Right, she just came in her... Sanyasi clothes. Don't challenge these

stories.

She's gone.

I told her not to leave the hut.

Oh, how will I ever find her?

Sita!

Sita!

Oh, Sita, what has become of you?

Actually, the origins of Hanuman, all these demons were attacking the earth.

And supposedly all the gods went to Vishnu and said that, please help us,

please help us. So Vishnu said that he was going to be born on earth as Ram.

But he was born as Krishna also. This is very confusing now. That's 10

incarnations. So the 10th one of course is the last one. Not come yet

supposedly.

So anyway, he said that what we'll do is Shiva will be born as someone who helps

me. So Shiva was actually, Hanuman is the incarnation of Shiva.

Oh, I didn't know that.

I didn't know that either.

And so Hanuman was actually born with the sole purpose of eventually meeting

up with Ram and helping him. That was the reason for his birth.

I will help you.

Who are you?

I am Hanuman.

a monkey, a warrior, son of the wind.

I am Rama, prince of Ayodhya.

Let us be allies.

I shall be your servant forever.

Now go, find Sita.

Hello? It's me.

Dave! Where are you?

Trevandrum, silly.

At home.

You have a home phone?

Of course.

You've been gone a month and you never emailed me your phone number. I didn't?

Well, I have some good news.

They've extended my contract another year.

What? Another year? You said you'd be back in six months.

But I like you here.

What about me?

What about Lexi?

What about our apartment?

Uh... What about us?

Uh... Don't cry, Nina.

I love you.

You could come here.

She sits under a tree.

And she weeps. And thinks of Ram.

And prays to Ram.

And all these evil people. You know, all these movies and all these...

shows we've seen and all these evil people come and sort of scare her and

she prays to Ram. But I think the thing is that the women, whatever the women,

demon, whatever, who are supposed to protect her are amazed by her devotion

to Ram.

And so Ravan also comes and says, what can Ram do for you, blah, blah, blah.

That I can't. That I can't, but she's still, Ram will come here and you still

have one last chance because once he comes here, you know, your ass is grass.

I love you, Sita.

You must be my wife.

Never. I love only Rama.

I am the chaste and virtuous wife of another man.

I belong to Rama as the rays belong to the sun.

Give me back to Rama or you shall soon hear his mighty bow that resounds like

Indra's thunderbolt.

The more a man speaks sweetly to a woman, the more she insults him.

You have two months to decide, lovely lady.

Then you shall share my bed.

If you do not marry me, my Rakshasas will slaughter you for my breakfast.

Your ugly yellow eyes should fall out of your head as you stare at me so

lustfully Ravana The only reason I do not reduce you to ashes with my own

blazing power is because Rama has not ordered me to do so

Daddy's creepin' and I should be sleepin' in bed If you

were peepin' you'd find that I'm weepin' instead My

lovin' daddy left his baby again Said he'd come back but he forgot to say when

Night after night I'm cryin' Daddy won't you please come home

Daddy won't you please come home

No one.

Sweet daddy, even the clock keeps ticking.

Daddy, won't you please come home?

Daddy, do you have the wrong? It's all very long.

There's lots of other new sheep who would like to be shaken.

Haven't slept yet, but I'm liable to weaken.

Daddy, daddy, won't you please come home?

She also made her own share of mistakes. In fact, she should have just gone back

with Hanuman.

The whole idea of my man has to come to save me. It's like, oh, you know, one

little tight thing. Jump on the monkey's back.

Go back.

Chill out.

Hundreds will be fine, okay? Is it possible she didn't trust the monkey

altogether?

It is possible.

It is possible that she didn't trust the monkey. I think she absolutely trusted

the monkey.

But she wanted her man to come. But she wanted her man. Okay, so that's the

whole thing. It's like, you got to prove it to me, baby.

But not only that, but she also wanted...

Sorry. No, but she also wanted the evil king to be defeated.

I think that was the thing that my husband should come and actually teach

his man a lesson.

Why don't you go back so that the evil king doesn't have a hostage and then do

it. But it was almost like she's trying to glorify Ram through this whole

process. You know, like my man will come and he's capable of this and he's

virtuous and he will kill Ravan.

So there's a bloodthirsty woman.

My question is, were they monkeys?

Because they actually... They could fly. Not monkeys, they're... From what I

understand, it's different from monkeys, right? I mean, they're... Like, from

what I understand, when I was young, monkeys were one species, and then the

varners were actually another species. They were half man, half monkey.

Okay, because they have tails, though.

Correct, but they're not... Like, yeah.

Yeah, I definitely think the tail and the... They were definitely half monkey,

if not more.

Yeah, but that's what the army was because otherwise they were these two

brothers. They didn't have any army. Two brothers and then all of Sugriv's big

army, all the Vanar Sena. The Vanar Sena, right.

Hanuman, assemble the monkey warriors.

We shall cross the sea to Lanka and rescue Sita.

Yes, my lord.

We march at once.

that knocking don't stand outside there come on in here i just had a sort of

feeling this morning something good was gonna happen today

now there comes a sound without any warning i

just know it's good luck coming my way goodness gracious can it be

someone's coming back

Oh, so long. I'll just die if I'm wrong.

Who's that knocking at my door?

I know it can't be the mailman, the coalman, the ice man. They've been here

today.

Can't be the grocer, the butcher, the baker.

Thank you.

Me, oh my, my, oh me, guess I'm havin' company.

Who's that knockin' at my door?

See the time, eight o'clock, sounds like a familiar knock.

Who's that knockin' at my door?

I know it can't be the milkman, the gasman, the breadman, who always

collects.

I hope that it isn't that butter and egg man who writes out those chats.

If it's my sweet, you should be gonna lock him in.

Ooh, that knocking at my door.

Dave! Dave!

We're in India. No kissing in public.

Let me take your back

Well

here you are good night

Later, I know what he did. What did he do when he saw her in Lanka?

Hug her and kiss her.

No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. He was very cold.

Why was he cold to Sita?

Actually, to be honest with you, I'm very shaky on this point. I don't know

what he actually did. You can make it up.

You have lived in another man's house, so you are unfit to be my wife.

What? I have done my duty in rescuing you from the enemy and avenging the

insult to myself.

I have terrible suspicions about your character and conduct.

Ravana was aware of your beauty. He cannot have kept you in his house for so

long without touching you.

The very sight of you is painful.

You are free to go wherever you want.

I have no more use for you, Sita.

If I had known this, I would have killed myself before and spared you this war.

Build me a funeral pyre. I cannot bear to live.

Despite my virtues, my husband has rejected me.

He's obviously doubting her pureness.

I find the whole pureness thing really odd.

I find it really weird that nobody is commending Ravan for not forcibly... I

mean, I know we shouldn't commend somebody for that. Yeah, but in terms

of... Villains, right? Yeah. I mean we expect villains to be villainous. Yes.

This is a guy that's like if you don't come to me willingly, I will not touch

you. Right. I will not force you in my house. Right. I will not force myself on

you. But he never had sex with her, did he?

No. As Sita proved over and over again. By trial of fire.

must you be mean to me honey it seems to me you love to see

me crying i don't know why i stay home each night when

you say your phone

don't be mean to me you shouldn't forget you see what you mean

Sweetheart, I love you, think the world of you, but I'm afraid you don't care

for me.

You never show it, don't let me know it, everyone says I'm a fool to be.

Finding the whole day through,

why do you act like you do?

You're mean to me, why must you be mean to me?

at home each night when you say your phone you don't and i'm left

alone just sing

And he's still not convinced, it seemed like, after she went through the trial

by fire. I mean, it's almost like... No, but I thought he was convinced.

He then... It was peer pressure later with the washerman. Yeah, because the

washerman... Yeah, because... He was convinced. It wasn't like he doubted it.

He kind of was like, okay, you are pure.

And I think he did hug her and then... Flowers fell from the heavens or

something.

Whoops. I guess you were pure after all.

Will you forgive me, Sita?

Of course, Rama.

I live only for you.

Hey, they want me to attend this meeting so much they're going to fly me all the

way to New York.

Five days, all expenses paid.

That's great.

It'll be fun for you.

See you next week.

No, no, no. It's a flying chariot somehow. The God sent a chariot.

I don't know. Something about flying. A Japanese train.

I found it to be totally cool.

It was like the world's first airplane or something. It was like the first...

It actually flew back. I don't think it was on a bird.

Was it on a bird?

I think it was actually a flying thing of some kind.

They were on a carpet like Aladdin.

No, no. It was like an elaborate structure.

Pushpaka. That's what he came back on.

The flying chariot. Pushpaka Vimanam.

That was one of the Air India jumbo jets also.

And there's a movie, a silent movie.

Pushpa. Yeah.

But that's what I mean. It was like this thing.

It wasn't a burden. Pushpa Ka Vimanam. Yeah.

Right.

I guess what is happening, the 14 years were finishing off, so they had to find

a quick way to get back.

What does it matter if rain comes your way and raindrops patter

all day?

The rain descending should not make you blue.

The happy ending is waiting for you.

Take your share of trouble, face it and don't complain.

it's alive

Get up now!

I'm on fire!

I'm on fire!

I'm on fire!

I'm on fire!

That's right

I got popcorn!

Get up right now!

I

thought

it was a kid's picture.

me

the

That's wonderful, darling.

Maybe they joined the My Life Club on the Pushpak Viman or something like

that.

We don't know exactly when she got pregnant. Very soon thereafter, which is

why it's conceivable that someone could argue that love, that she wasn't

pregnant because of Ram.

But I think it was Ram.

Blasphemy. It is Ram.

a woman who slept in another man's house.

No, but that happens with the dhobi story. Oh, that happens with the dhobi.

There's a dhobi story.

You know the dhobi... Yeah, the dhobi says that.

The dhobi's wife is with somebody else and when she comes back, he goes, what

do you think, I'm Ram? I'm like Rama.

To take somebody back in the house after she's been with another man. You know

who the dhobi is, right? He's a washerman.

And when the news of that hits Ram, Ram says, I cannot rule if my subjects don't

respect me. Right. And so you'll have to... Actually, that's when he banishes

her. Sorry. That's when he banishes her.

Say,

Sita, would you like to take a chip?

But we just got here.

Yeah, great. Get packing.

Brother Lakshman, my wife's dubious reputation casts doubt upon my own.

You must drive Sita to the forest and abandon her there.

I cannot have her in my kingdom.

I think basically as a king, he had to sort of...

do, if the common man was doing that to their wife, then why would the king

treat his wife any differently?

I felt he let her go not because he thought she was impure, but because he

said that to be a king, he needs the respect of his subjects, and he can't be

considered. I don't think he let her go because she was impure. I felt that he

always had this element of doubt.

It coupled with, of course, you know, his virtue that everybody spoke of and,

you know, that he kept his word to his dad and then his subjects, his kingdom.

But I felt like he always had this doubt that she might not be pure.

I feel too bad I'm feeling mighty sick

If I die, where'll he be?

He's the kind of man, he's the kind of woman like me.

Don't know any reason why he treats me so poorly.

What have I gone and done?

Makes my troubles double with his worries when surely I ain't deserving.

My sweet man is gonna go when he goes.

Don't know any reason why he treats me so poorly.

What have I done?

I'm done.

Makes my troubles double with his worries when surely I ain't deserving

of none.

My man loves.

My sweet man is gonna go when he goes.

I must have committed a terrible sin in a previous life to deserve such

suffering. Were I not carrying Rama's sons, I would throw myself into the

river.

She's always shown to be pregnant in... Afterwards, when they come back. No,

when she's banished and she's gone into the forest again.

And, you know, there she meets that teacher.

Valmiki. Valmiki, sorry.

So that's how Valmiki wrote the Ramayana, because Sita told the story to

him.

I'm just a woman, a lonely woman, waiting on a weary shore.

I'm just a woman that's only human, one you should be sorry for.

Got up this morning, how long about dawn?

Without a warning, I found he was gone.

Why should he do it?

How could he do it? He never done it before.

Anyway, so Love and Kush were born to Sita in the forest and were

actually taught by Valmiki, who taught them how to sing all these songs

praising Rama.

Love, Kush, let us sing the praises of Rama.

Rama's great, Rama's good, Rama does what Rama should.

Rama's just, Rama's right, Rama is a guiding light. Perfect man,

perfect son, Rama's loved by everyone.

Always right, never wrong, we praise Rama in this song.

Sing his love, sing his praise, Rama sent his wife ablaze. Brought her home,

kicked her out.

to allain his people's doubt.

Rama's wise, Rama's just, Rama does what Rama must.

Duty first, seat the last, Rama's reign is unsurpassed. Rama's great,

Rama's good, Rama does what Rama should.

Rama's just, Rama's right, Rama is our guiding light.

Perfect man, perfect son, Rama's loved by everyone.

Always right, never wrong, we praise Rama in this song.

Please take me back.

Please, please, please.

I'll do anything.

Please.

If you had a girlfriend who was being treated really badly by, like, her ex or

by her current boyfriend or whatever, and she kept saying, you know, every

day, I'm going to make sure I cook for him and send him a hot lunch at noon,

aren't you going to turn around and be like, listen, he doesn't like you. He

doesn't talk to you. You've got to move on.

Something's wrong, okay?

Sita's doing this puja every day.

I mean, I feel... See, I feel once again with this whole good and bad thing that

we always want people to be either all good or all bad. I think Sita also has

got her own issues. Like, she didn't go back with Hanuman. She could have saved

hundreds and thousands of people from being killed.

Monkey especially.

Yeah, what about animal rights?

And then she prayed for this guy every day.

Come on.

But also at that point of time, it was just that unconditional love. You know,

for her, she was like, okay...

I think this is the part of the female perspective that I disagree with.

Because it's like, then we can say, oh yeah, because she loved him, so she did

this. You know, it's like, yeah, but she shouldn't love someone who doesn't treat

her right. Who treats you so badly. Okay, that's her mistake.

That's hence unconditional love.

you we broke the ties that bind i wanted to forget

you and leave the past behind still the magic

of the night i met you seems to stay forever in my mind

the sky was blue

This eager heart of mine was singing, love of where can you be?

You came at last, love had its day.

That day has passed, you've gone away.

This aching heart of mine was singing,

When Ram was in the forest, he heard these two boys singing.

He didn't know who they were, but he came up and he was just like, who are

they? Who are you? And that's when he finds out that Sita's there and those

are his children.

My sons.

Father?

Return to Ayodhya Palace to rule with me for eternity.

But then, he wants to take Love and Kush back.

But he's still hesitant about taking her back.

Sita. Well, yes, of course.

Sita.

All Sita has to do is prove her purity again.

Another trial by fire, perhaps.

Or we could try trial by water. You know, see if she sinks or floats.

If she sinks, she's pure.

If she floats... No, wait. If she floats, she's pure. If she sinks... And

he asks her to prove her purity one more time, I think. I don't know whether he

asks her or whatever, but she says... I shall prove my purity to you.

If I have always been true to Rama, if I have never thought of another man, if I

am completely pure in body and soul, then may Mother Earth take me back

into her womb.

I'm flying high, but I've got a feeling I'm falling, falling for nobody

else but you.

You caught my eye, and I've got a feeling I'm falling.

Show me the ring and I'll jump right through.

I used to travel single, oh, we chanced to.

Mr. Paulson, stand by for I got a feeling I'm falling, falling for

nobody.

Oh honey, oh honey, I never felt this way.

Romantically, I'm up in the air.

It's funny, so funny, me taking it this way.

Don't know if I should, but gee, it feels good.

for nobody else but you and you know it too you caught my eye baby

that's why i've got a funny feeling that i'm falling show me the ring and oh boy

i'll take it from you i used to have a single old wee

chance to mingle oh now now i'm a tingle for you

oh mr paulson

Because I...