Original subtitles

♪

[MIMI] Two hostile pirate ships have gone dark.

It's not over, still three to go!

Acknowledged. Finish this thing quickly, Hiro.

Gladly, now hold on to your butts!

♪

That did it. We got all of them.

Another job well done, Captain Hiro.

Back at you, Mimi.

Hey, Elma, salvage whatever you can.

Aye aye, Captain.

♪

I hope we scored ourselves a good haul.

Yeah. We're gonna need a whole mountain of cash...

for what we're aiming to buy.

A house on solid ground for the whole crew.

[♪ opening theme song playing]

[HIRO] Five more minutes. Eh, make it 10.

Even if I'm called into the office,

I'll just be busting computer viruses today.

Let me dream a little longer.

[groans]

Mm?

-[alarm ringing] -[shudders]

Why's it so freaking freezing?

Wait. Huh?

What?

Where the heck am I?

[alarm continues ringing]

Dang! What's the current temp?

♪

Holy frostbite!

Activating life support.

Instant gratification.

Although... I'm still confused.

♪

[exhales]

♪

Dude, I'm inside Stella Online.

A space game known for giving players a crap-ton of freedom.

You can go adventuring, trade your loot,

or even become a mercenary.

I know this ship, the ASX-08 Krishna.

She's crazy OP.

With 3,000 hours of gameplay,

guess it's not that surprising I'm dreaming about this world.

No complaints. I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

[chuckles]

This is one deep sleep.

Yeah! Papa's gonna put the weapon systems

through their paces!

Deploy heavy-pulse lasers!

♪

Fire at will... Or whatever.

That was freakin' epic.

This has been a real blast,

but it's about time for a serious reality check

about what's actually happening.

I'm not dreaming. This is real.

♪

If you ask me, this is a win-win.

I've seemingly entered the world of Stella Online.

So I can do whatever I want.

I mean, that's the whole selling point, right?

I'm down.

It beats the pants off network management

in the real world.

Dude, I'm starting to get hella stoked.

I'll just ignore this gnawing sense of dread.

I'm not the type to look a gift horse in the mouth.

And now to get a read on my coordinates.

Hopefully, there's a habitable colony nearby.

Nada?

Uh... I've got to stay positive.

Looks like I got plenty of food and water.

Not a drop of soda, though.

But hello... That's fascinating.

Why am I so loaded up on rare metals?

Hey, Krishna, what gives?

Not the talky kinda ship.

Stella Online has a pretty dope economy,

where you can trade your rare metals

for cold hard cash anywhere.

It's a sweet deal,

but the catch is that transporting too many at once

way ups your chances of getting targeted

by space-pirates.

[alarm blaring]

Uh! Great, an unknown ship is scanning me.

Oh, man, this could get a little dicey.

I'll play it cool.

It's totally possible that it's just a friendly NPC

who travels around helping out ships in distress.

[MALE PIRATE 1] How's it going, comrade?

Were you and your loot

taking a little nap out here or somethin'?

[HIRO] Welp, so much for that theory.

Not at all. I'm just out here minding my own business,

but thanks for checking.

[MALE PIRATE 1] Don't blow me off, man.

It's practically fate that we wound up crossing paths

in the giant void of space.

[HIRO] They kept room in their cargo holds

instead of loading up on weapons.

Must mean they're hunting for trophies.

Makes me wonder.

[MALE PIRATE 1] Don't worry,

we're not looking to rob you blind.

Play nice and share some of that cargo- -

Hey, bro... That you?

[gasps] If you hand over your haul immediately,

then we'll consider letting you live.

So, that's a yes.

Even here, you need money to survive.

If they think they can swoop in and steal mine,

those pirates have another thing coming.

You don't wanna die over some metal.

Nah, that's why I'm gonna have to fight back,

and there's a solid chance I'll end up killing

every last one of you. Nothing personal.

[male pirate 1 gasps]

♪

[Hiro grunts]

[FEMALE PIRATE] He's fast!

[MALE PIRATE 2] We can't keep up!

[MALE PIRATE 1] That moron's tryin' to outgun us?

[male pirate 1 gasps]

-[FEMALE PIRATE] It transformed. -[MALE PIRATE 2] Scatter.

[MALE PIRATE 1] Uh?

He took it out in one shot?

[FEMALE PIRATE] Screw that. I'm not dying for this.

You're on your own!

[MALE PIRATE 1] You traitor! Get back here!

[FEMALE PIRATE] No! Have mercy! I don't wanna die!

I don't wanna die...

[HIRO] Still want a fight?

[male pirate 1 grunts] I'll... I'll kill you.

♪

Coward. Stay in one place, why don't you?

No! It can't be.

[gasps] Please! Stay back! Go away!

[cries] Mommy!

[grunting]

♪

[inhales]

[gags]

That was cool, but a crazy bumpy ride.

I feel like I'm gonna hurl my guts out.

One thing's clear,

if space combat wasn't enough to wake me up,

then I'm definitely not dreaming.

Gotta look on the bright side.

And this is my favorite part.

Time to deploy salvage drones.

[beeping]

Huh?

It's a system map. Score!

Now I've gotta request permission to dock.

[ADMIN] This is the Tarmein Prime Port Admin Bureau.

We've received your request to dock at our colony.

-Apologies, Captain. -[HIRO] Uh?

[ADMIN] This is quite strange.

But your name is corrupted in our system data.

[HIRO] Oh, uh...

The ship I'm flying is called the Krishna, and my name is...

It feels weird to use my government name.

Hmm...

I'll just roll with my handle.

It's Hiro. I'm Captain Hiro. A space mercenary.

[ADMIN] Permission granted, Captain Hiro, welcome.

[HIRO] Flawless win,

and a fittingly thrilling opening

for the great Captain Hiro's fantastic space adventure!

♪

[HIRO] Of course, it wasn't that simple.

Care to explain where you got all those rare metals?

Well, I looted most of my haul from space pirates I wrecked.

As I've told you twice already.

[admin grunts]

[HIRO] I mean, it tracks that they think it's sus

for an unaffiliated, self-proclaimed merc

to be hauling so much rare metal.

Wish I had some kind of ID on me.

Are you really refusing to tell us the truth?

Are you really gonna waste everyone's time

with pointless questions?

[admin grunts]

[HIRO] Is this jokester fishing for a bribe?

[BOTH] Uh...

[Admin gasps]

[HIRO] Whoa.

Man, she's hot.

And just a wee bit scary.

Oh, wow, Lady Serena, you're here.

I didn't expect to see you.

♪

I noticed we brought in a ship that I didn't recognize.

His, I'm assuming?

Um, yes, ma'am.

That's quite a collection of rare metals you've got.

I trust that they weren't obtained

through illegal means?

I swear.

Does that mean you're with the mercenary guild?

[HIRO] I came here to register with them.

Ah. I see that you've exterminated some pirates

from the wanted list.

Yeah, and I even picked up what looks like coordinates

to their home base.

I was gonna hand 'em over when I got my reward.

-But this guy... -[ADMIN] Oh!

So, there's no proof he's carrying stolen cargo,

is that correct?

No, ma'am. But I mean, he could be.

Then I don't see a problem here,

especially since we always need more rare metals.

As a matter of fact, we should be grateful

that he's choosing to sell them to us.

But even so...

You dare presume to challenge

the judgment of Marquess Holz's daughter,

-do you? -[admin gasps]

[HIRO] Playing the nobility card, huh?

[admin stutters] I'll begin processing his cargo right away.

-[door slides open] -[footsteps receding]

[door closes]

My apologies for the confusion.

It's fine. I realize it looks suspicious.

Indeed, and there seems to be no record of you.

It's as though you came here from another universe.

[HIRO] She's kinda right about that.

[SERENA] How did you end up at Tarmein?

[HIRO] Uh?

I had some kinda accident while I was in hyperdrive.

And my memory's been pretty hazy ever since that happened.

So, to be honest, I really can't tell you

how I wound up here.

Whatever the case,

you are suspected of being a Belbellum Federation spy.

Like, from Bellubellu?

I clearly said "Belbellum."

Let's see here.

An unidentified, self-proclaimed mercenary

randomly pulled up

in an unregistered rig chock full of rare metals

and just knocked on your front door.

Seems like a spy'd be a little more smooth,

you know what I mean?

I couldn't agree more.

If my subordinate was that kind of screw-up,

I'd be summoning him to my office

so I could personally smack him upside the head

for being such an incompetent dope.

What a coincidence. I would do the very same thing.

[HIRO] That melted the ice a little.

On that note, I'm going to go

and have a little word with security.

You're free to collect your reward now

and hand over your data cache, if you please.

I thank thee, madam.

You're quite an interesting one.

I hope you'll still be around when we defeat these pirates.

♪

[HIRO] Yeah, she may be hot,

but I won't risk it for that biscuit.

If everything looks good to you, sir,

then sign off and we're all done here.

Sure thing.

That's 2.5 ener for the rare metal alone.

Altogether, we're at 2,669,000.

Do you mind if I ask you a question, miss?

Of course not. How may I assist you?

[HIRO] A day's worth of food comes out to about 15 ener.

Water is around 12,

and my lodging's gonna cost me 150.

If I can stay on budget, that's 177 per day.

Which means that I could live here

for, like, forty-ish years,

Not enough to retire,

but it does take some pressure off.

Guess things could be much worse.

What a crazy day.

I need a little break.

I wonder, if I go to sleep now,

will I wake up from this dream? [chuckles]

Yep, looks like I'm still here.

♪

And apparently, "here," is the Tarmein System.

which is rich in natural resources

and full of both merchant and mining vessels.

It's practically irresistible to pirates,

so there's no shortage of mercenary work, but...

Recently, there's been an uptick in skirmishes

with some of the, uh, less friendly neighbors,

so it seems.

Maybe that's why Princess Hotpants showed up

during my interrogation.

Not getting involved in military stuff.

I should skedaddle to another star system.

As far as I know,

Stella Online didn't have a Grakkan Empire

or Belbellum Federation.

I guess it must be different from the game.

♪

Still, though...

I gotta say, this is pretty cool.

[footsteps]

-[HIRO] Hm? -[thugs chuckle]

[all gasp]

[Hiro sighs]

[ELMA] Well, if it isn't a newbie merc.

[HIRO] Uh?

That's a nice-lookin' gun you've got there.

[HIRO] Huh?

♪

[HIRO] Speaking of nice-looking...

[Hiro gasps]

This chick is next-level hot.

Between the hair color and the ears,

she has to be an elf, right?

A space elf. So I'm getting my sci-fi

with a side of fantasy.

And I gotta say, I am here for it.

You just gonna stand there and stare at me?

I'm getting a read on you,

like anybody with common sense would

when a stranger approaches them out of nowhere.

Yeah, all right.

Name's Elma, and as you may have noticed,

I'm a mercenary.

[exclaims] Now what are you looking at?

Your tiny boobs, which I figure is what you wanted

since you shoved them in my face.

What an enormous load of crap.

You're pretty ballsy for a newbie merc.

Why do you keep calling me that?

First, only mercenaries carry those.

And second, you were gawking at the colony

like you've never seen it before,

so you're obviously new here.

You're pretty smart for a disappointing space elf.

What did you just say?

I didn't say nothing.

So, was there a reason you stopped me?

Not really. Had some time to kill, that's all.

-Come on. -System Security's on the move,

so something's up. I'm waiting to find out what.

And messing with you in the meantime.

[HIRO] Uh...

I hope you'll still be around, when we defeat these pirates.

[HIRO] All right. So she's got a flat chest

and a crap attitude,

but the nose of a legit mercenary.

If you're looking for something to do,

you could show me around town. I would like to get some food.

Yeah, well, there's nothing decent to drink around here.

Uh, I said "food," right?

I can offer you some drinks from my ship in exchange.

That sound like a fair trade to you?

Okay, you got yourself a deal.

So tell me, what do they call you?

I'm Hiro.

Hiro, huh? That's a pretty simple name.

Sure, but so is yours.

Mine's got a more majestic ring to it, you know?

I guess.

[ANNOUNCER] Welcome to the Tarmein Prime...

[ELMA] You're not just a newbie, you're an unlicensed one?

We need to get you registered before we can get you fed.

Yeah, you're probably right, my B.

[ANNOUNCER]...please visit windows six through fifteen.

Look alive, I've got some fresh meat.

Who'd you bring me? Uh?

Hey, pal, welcome.

Let's take a quick look at your ship name and ID.

[chiming]

[GUILD MEMBER] Where's your ship from?

Never seen it before.

[HIRO] Oh, uh...

No criminal record, I see. It wouldn't be stolen, would it?

Oh, no, sir, I assure you.

Eh, good enough. A word of advice, though.

Quit it with the fancy talk. You sound stupid.

Um, right.

-Okay, next comes the test. -[HIRO] Test?

You can't expect us to give you work

without knowing what you're capable of.

Fair point.

Just do the best you can, newbie. You'll be okay.

[buzzes]

[Hiro sighs]

Uh?

[GUILD MEMBER] Good news, you passed.

What the hell's your story, anyway?

Did you serve in the military or something?

-[HIRO] Uh, why? -Your score, it's nuts.

You got high enough on the test to land yourself at gold rank.

That's not something a normal newbie could do.

Gold what now?

We're talking your mercenary rank.

Gold is right below platinum.

It's second from the top.

Sounds like I did pretty well.

You did, but I can't make you gold right away.

That's something you've gotta earn.

Yeah, yeah.

For now, I'll register you as a bronze rank.

But you'll probably get up to silver soon.

Won't be long before you get promoted.

[HIRO] Bronze it is, then.

Any particular reason the great veteran Elma

is hanging out down there?

[ELMA] Five years...

What's that?

[ELMA] Five years...

I've spent five long years

trying to claw my way up to silver.

-[HIRO] Awkward. -[Elma whimpers]

[growls]

Hey, whatever my rank might be,

you're still the more experienced one by far.

I wouldn't even have a license if you didn't help me out.

I'd just be a shit stain who doesn't even know

where to buy food.

[Elma growls questioningly]

Seriously! I'd be lost here without you!

Really?

Well, as long as you know your place. [chuckles]

[HIRO] Too easy.

Now, let's go get that food, shall we?

♪

As you wish, madam.

So, whatcha lookin' for, newb?

Some meat and carbonated beverages.

Meat, sure. But the other thing? You lost me there.

Uh, they're drinks, but fizzy.

They've been infused with carbon dioxide,

so there are tiny bubbles inside them.

Yeah, I never heard of those.

What? Really?

[woman screams]

[cries] No! Stop!

Let go of me!

-[smirks] -There's no point in struggling.

-Hey-- -Don't get involved.

Huh?

The strong prey on the weak, that's how it is around here.

You can't swoop in and change it.

Stick your nose in once,

and you'll never be able to stop.

So we do nothing?

You seem to be forgetting

that you're just some guy with a ship.

Until a minute ago, you weren't even a proper mercenary.

Your name might sound like "hero,"

-but you're not one. -I guess so.

-[thugs chuckle] -[woman cries] No!

Please stop!

Someone help!

This kind of thing is normal here, huh?

[ELMA] That's right.

-[thugs laughing] -[woman cries, muffled]

I've got enough to deal with in my own life.

I should worry about myself and no one else?

Hate to break it to you, disappointing elf.

That's not my style!

[woman screaming]

[thugs grunting]

[Elma gasps]

[thug groaning]

[gasps]

[gasps softly]

♪

Hey...

[♪ closing theme song playing]