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Downloaded from YTS.BZ
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
Today's going to be fine.
It's an important day.
It'll be fine.
We can't let stress get the better of us.
-Are you talking to yourself? -No.
Can you help me choose what to wear today?
-Sure. -Thanks.
It won't go well.
It won't go well, you'll see.
What?
I don't have any clothes.
I don't have anything to wear, Alan.
Well, I see tonnes of stuff.
-Lovely things at that. -No, because...
I've already worn it or it doesn't fit.
This doesn't fit me.
-This doesn't fit me anymore. -Bah!
So, there's a major problem here, right?
There's a problem. Yeah, I have a problem.
What would you wear?
-Me? -Yeah, what would you wear now?
Dunno. This one?
This one?
-Are you serious? -Yeah...
So you think I can leave the house wearing this?
It's really nice. Why not?
My mum could easily wear this.
-What's funny? -Do you realise?
So why ask me?
Well, because...
-Why is it here? -I put it there because...
So you see what a drama it is.
I end up wearing black or dark colours to hide my body.
What else can I say?
I've got nothing to wear.
I don't see...
At least I had a pretty face before,
perky tits,
at least I could pull it off. But now...
Here we go with the face and tits again.
It all went saggy. But overnight, all of a sudden.
My face is saggy, look.
What is my face like?
I'm older than you.
Know when it sagged? I remember clearly: Menorca.
-Remember that weekend in Menorca? -Yeah.
Why didn't I realise it happened?
-It doesn't matter. -I didn't realise.
-Did it pass me by? -All right...
I wasn't paying attention.
Have you seen Carlota? How does she do it?
You're obsessed with her.
I know I shouldn't look at Instagram. But how does she manage it?
Seen how gorgeous she is? What is her secret?
You want photos like that?
Look at this blouse.
-This blouse. -All right...
This blouse.
-Know the price? -No.
-400 euros. -And how do you know that?
-I just do. -Is this what you want?
She's always partying, hanging out, having drinks...
-Shall I take a photo? -Plus, she's gorgeous.
Please, just look at her body.
These people do nothing. They just take photos.
They don't work half as much as you do.
She has no kids or anything. And she's younger.
-She's younger. -She's older than me, Alan.
-Yeah? -She's older than me.
She's older than me.
I'd like to see it without filters. Those photos...
-With no frills. -This one, right?
That one.
-I'll wear this. -There you go.
It never works out.
It never does.
No, not this one.
Makes me look fat.
This one.
The therapist called. She changed the appointment time.
-Again? -Yeah.
She can't make it on Tuesday again.
How come? This is so stressful.
How are we expected to follow her schedule?
Shouldn't it be the other way round?
-No, no. -So we depend on...
-We have to fit her schedule? -Sure.
Thais, if you make a therapist appointment,
it depends on their schedule.
-It doesn't work the other way. -Is that how it goes?
That's how consumer society works
since they invented it.
They're already all there.
Great, it hasn't started yet.
-Take it easy. -It's so late.
-Have fun. -Yeah.
The film was cool, I wasn't expecting that.
I had no idea what the guy was about.
He was pretty heavy, huh?
His view of money was really powerful...
What's up?
I had a fall at Peñíscola festival.
-I'm off, bye. -See you.
Wow.
-What a film, huh? -Yeah, I know.
A real masterpiece, film of the year.
I loved it.
Listen, since you're here.
About the Vilafranca del Penedés festival,
the invoice comes to 120 euros.
Hang on, what? It's not 120 euros, no.
We don't pay to be part of the jury.
No, we don't pay.
You sent me an email. I've got it here.
-I'm absolutely certain. -I'm surprised.
I was looking at it just yesterday.
Look, here you go. You wrote it.
Okay, okay. Right.
It's a mistake. I meant to say "minutes".
120 minutes' viewing time
as a jury member to watch the shorts. Not euros.
All right, but this euro sign
is pretty hard to let slip...
I made a mistake.
I put an apostrophe instead of euros,
but it's not euros.
Not euros, sweetie, they're minutes.
Minutes. Time, time.
Not money.
Not money.
Not money...
Not euros, sweetie,
they're minutes, minutes. Time, time.
Minutes, Thais. Time.
Time, Thais.
We're here.
Okay, that's it.
I quit, it's over.
-That's it. -What is?
No, I mustn't keep mulling over
something I've been thinking about
over and over.
-That's it. -Well don't mull it over.
-I'm quitting, it's over. -Get some rest.
I quit being a film critic. It's over.
For good. There's nothing more to say.
You can't always be this anxious.
You can't be anxious all the time.
Like the house is on fire.
If your organism is always on alert,
you'll explode. It's not good for you.
You'll explode.
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
But I want you to know that I just made up my mind
and there's no going back.
Why not take something for your nerves?
-Take an Ibuprofen. -No, I don't want anything.
It'll do you good.
-Here, an Ibuprofen. -I don't want to.
It's good for you.
-It'll make you relax. -Not now, maybe later.
Now I totally get it, what's more...
I mean, you tell me...
There were months when I used to clear
up to 3,000 or 4,000 euros.
But now you I make 800. What happened?
And with 800 I have to pay
self-employed rates, admin bills, menus,
and clothes, I can't dress any old way.
I can't wear the same outfit on TV
or random clothes from a local store.
-You know? -Get some sleep.
-I know... -It's all good.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
-You're right. -Get some sleep.
-Sorry. -No, it's okay.
Switch off the light, please.
I want to open a pizzeria.
-A pizzeria? What? -Yeah.
-That's enough. -A film-themed pizzeria.
What are you on about?
A film-themed one.
Since when have you wanted to open one?
When have I ever seen you eat a pizza?
You only eat salad and sushi, you're always on a diet.
There's nothing I like more than a pizza. Nothing.
I don't eat it because I end up as fat as a pig.
A pig? Have you seen yourself?
You're skin and bones.
-I'm fat. -You look like a kid.
Right, because I don't eat pizza.
But I'm still fat. I'm fat.
Whatever I eat, I put on weight.
Nothing is as fattening as a pizza.
And there's nothing I like more than pizza. I mean it.
-Do you know what it involves? -No, I don't.
A restaurant business takes up all your time.
Know what else you need?
-No idea. -To be able to cook.
Neither of us know how to cook. We've never cooked.
-How do we open one then? -We'll learn.
-Yeah, sure. -Life is all about learning.
We'll use that spicy oil they have...
I've been thinking about this project for months.
Months? You're joking!
-It's crystal clear to me. -Come off it!
You've spent months thinking about a pizzeria?
I can see myself.
For months now, every time I close my eyes, all I see are pizzas.
However much I try and avoid it, there they are.
I see myself and I feel happy.
I can see myself.
I'm quite clear about it.
Do you like pizzas?
Of course I like pizzas.
Everyone does.
So, no more questions, Your Honour.
PIZZA MOVIES A FILM BY CARLO PADIAL
But this isn't about saying:
the Four Seasons pizza or Pizzaquattro formaggi
is going to be called The Godfather.
No, if a pizza is called Lawrence of Arabia, for example,
the pizza evokes the film for you.
It can't be that complicated to do.
It's sort of like...
Who offers that?
No one right now.
That combination just captures your imagination because
there are so many films, genres, actors and actresses...
There are endless possibilities, right?
All of Dalí's paintings...
were painted by me.
Just a second. May I?
What's wrong?
Just a second. Take it easy.
Everything's going to be fine. Take it easy, take it easy...
Here, take this. Open your mouth.
Better?
Just take it easy.
Everything's fine.
He's in a bad way, isn't he?
Not really.
But every time I come he seems to be getting worse.
No. That's part of the illness.
Yep.
The only thing that really cheers him up now
is going to the shooting range.
Look at the omelette I made for you.
Thanks.
Does he still go to the shooting range?
It's the only thing that cheers him up.
We go twice a week.
I'll send you the...
They let him handle a rifle?
Absolutely. Check it out.
Twice a week.
Hang on.
When was this?
That was... the day before yesterday.
I can't believe it.
-Yeah. -But how can...
How can he be so different in just two days?
It's the only thing that makes him happy.
-You're going this week? -Tuesday and Thursday.
He's like a completely different person.
He's so happy he starts screaming and shouting.
And is that normal?
It's part and parcel of the illness.
Everyone's different.
Your dad's thing is shooting.
Opening a restaurant in Spain is a no-no.
85% of those businesses shut down within the first year.
Investment? Let's say 30,000 euros, the minimum
you have to invest in this sort of business.
You might as well lose it at the casino.
At least there you have a 50% chance,
but opening a restaurant means losing 85% of the time.
Catering is a disaster, it'll ruin you.
The tourist traps on the Costas close down too.
These are numbers, not opinions. Why do it?
Don't you read the statistics?
Please don't do it.
It's a guaranteed disaster.
Guaranteed. Guaranteed.
You're getting into that? All that lactose-intolerant business?
It's really hard work.
I'd say that no restaurant works
and no sexual relationship is 100% satisfying.
That's for another video.
Hermes loves Jenga.
We've found that it's an activity that helps his concentration.
It allows him to focus on just one thing
and helps him to be calm and relaxed.
So, it's important that at home
there is a bit of this dynamic.
This dynamic or idea
of emotional continuity,
relaxation, calm.
He's a very sensitive lad.
He's a bit like a sponge
that soaks up everything around him.
And if there is noise and stress at home,
he's somehow affected by it.
Have you ever heard of Anna Freud?
I don't know, maybe.
She's Freud's daughter
and she wrote a masterpiece called
The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defence.
She discusses the mechanisms of displacement,
which is when parents
project their fears and traumas onto the children.
So we need to pay a bit of attention to this.
We shouldn't project because
Hermes is like a sponge, he's very sensitive...
Excuse me for a minute.
Hermes? Everything okay?
It's incredible what she's doing.
I'm gobsmacked.
What? What is she doing?
Can't you see?
When she makes an intelligent remark, she says it to you.
When it's about guilt, she says it to me.
-No. -Didn't you see it?
She told you about the Anne Frank book.
-Isn't it Anna Freud? -Whatever.
When have you ever read anything by her?
Of course I've read about psychology.
-God... -When I was young.
-It's classic misogyny. -Come off it!
Excuse me, women misogynists do exist.
A lot of them.
I don't see anything weird here.
She's making eyes at you.
Didn't you see her caressing her neck?
She does this...
So, it's what we were talking about.
We've also been practicing a bit with bongos.
So that Hermes can practice percussion.
It's the perfect instrument
for understanding how rhythm contrasts with time.
And it's also an instrument that allows you to vent
and that he can take out on a physical object.
It'll even help him to rest,
sleep at night...
We have my dad's drumkit.
My dad used to play the drums.
You can dust if off and let him practice.
He's not coming back here.
No.
90 euros so he can go on tour with the Bongo Band?
No.
Plus, all that talk about giving life lessons,
but then it's all cash in hand.
This place?
It isn't normal.
-We'll look for another therapist. -Of course.
Another one.
She had everything written down.
Like she was reading...
Whenever she said difficult names or whatever.
Didn't you think?
-Well, they take notes and read them. -I guess.
It's not a play.
What is true is that we have to be more relaxed.
-She's right about that. -Yeah.
We'll have to make an effort.
Let it out! Make a racket!
Out, out, out, out!
Good.
THIEVES ON THE RUN
UP TO €50,000 WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY
Hi Thais, we need the article before 10.
It's almost time, and I have to go pick up my daughter from school.
Hey, Gerard, listen.
If you give me ten minutes
I'll send you the article, okay?
Alan, I'm pigging out right now.
You can't imagine what I'm eating.
All those cupcakes I bought the other day...
there are only two left. Just picture the scene.
I'm getting a bunch of calls that you wouldn't believe.
And I'm watching this Mexican film
that never ends. It never ends.
I have another 52 minutes to go.
I can't take this anymore.
I... Whatever.
Please get me out of here, Alan.
Careful, there are lots of dogs around here.
Careful.
-Want some water? -Yeah.
-Here. -Thanks.
Hey, about opening a pizzeria.
The more I think about it, the less sense it makes.
There are a tonne of expenses.
You have to register supplies, and loads of other things.
We can't afford it.
You don't earn much.
We don't have the money for it.
Go ahead, you can say it.
I earn a lot less than you.
Yeah, that's what I just said. You earn very little.
It is what it is.
You're not to blame. Your sector has gone downhill.
But you've seen our expenses, right?
The house costs a fortune...
Your dad's carer costs a lot of money, but we need him.
Plus, he does a great job. He's really good.
And your dad hits him. He hits him really hard.
Meaning?
You have to factor that in too.
And the kid's psychologists.
How can they be so expensive?
Now add a pizzeria.
You have to pay for the premises, staff social security...
You're right, whatever you say, but...
But no, they're just... excuses.
I can think of a thousand ways to raise cash.
-A thousand ways? -Yeah.
I'm going to ask Joaquín Reyes for money.
-You're joking? -No, I'm not.
Why Joaquín Reyes?
30,000 euros is nothing to him. It's small change.
That's to begin with. He owes me a load of favours.
-I never asked for a thing. -Really?
Sure! When Joaquín started out,
the only one who listened to him and gave positive criticism...
He is where he is now...
Sorry for saying so, but it's thanks to me.
I think it's a terrible idea.
-You think it's a bad idea? -The worst.
Well, I'm going to ask him for it.
I've decided. I'm going to ask him, I don't care.
-It's a joke, right? A wind up? -No, it's not a joke.
Asking Joaquín Reyes for money.
-Hi, what's up? -Hi Rubén, how's it going?
We're fine, at home right now. And your dad, you know...
He's still banging on about the Dalí paintings,
he says he painted them and...
but he gets physically violent about it.
Doesn't bother him.
It's all part of the illness.
"Physically violent"?
No, don't worry about it.
The other day he had a...
Don't worry, it's all good.
Why wouldn't I worry?
Are you all right?
Yeah, I swear I'm fine. Don't worry.
I'd tell you otherwise.
There's something else I wanted to tell you.
For a couple of weeks now,
he's been hiding last wills and testaments
on pieces of paper, written by him.
He's been hiding them all over the house.
In all the wills,
he leaves everything to the Dalí Museum in Figueres,
to people I've never heard of.
He doesn't even mention you.
He writes on pieces of paper?
Then he hides them?
Yeah, in his own writing.
Written by him. And he hides them all over the house.
Right, right, I get it.
What I want
is that this violence doesn't get worse.
Understood, Rubén?
Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. It's all good.
I'm fine.
Whatever happens,
call me anytime you have to.
I need to know.
All right, we'll be in touch.
Okay. Seriously, thanks so much.
Okay, all the best.
What is it?
Oh my God, oh my God.
What's up?
What with my dad,
Hermes, the stress...
My face, my face has changed.
It's changed.
I look panic-stricken all the time.
I look panic-stricken.
My face has sagged.
Alan, my face has sagged.
This is a jowl.
Please don't even think about doing it.
Yes, Alan.
-No, no. -Get it into your head.
When will you ask him? Half way through dinner?
When do you think?
-At what point do you say... -Why are we going for?
"Joaquín, can you lend me cash to open a pizzeria?"
-Sure. -How embarrasing.
I can see what this dinner will be like.
It's always the same.
He says he wants dinner with you, but he's never alone.
There's a couple. Never fails.
A couple nothing like us.
It's like he's saying:
"Look, this is how you guys should be."
I'm gonna buy land in Cádiz.
I'm totally over these sorts of scenes.
You just spend money in a city.
I can see him opening the door.
Hi! How are you guys?
What's up? How are you guys?
Great to see you.
-All good? -How are you?
Go on in.
I've got some friends over for dinner.
This is Edi, Neus,
Adrián and Fede.
Hi, nice to meet you.
There are always more guests, one freakier than the next
and with weird stories.
It's like a scene from The Dinner Game.
But they're all idiots.
It's a thing now: no one judges.
During the show on Friday...
someone always falls asleep because it's late.
Fast asleep.
-While you're performing? -Yeah, so you're like...
You want to ignore it, but you end up looking
at the person who's asleep.
Since it's happened to me a few times,
I bought a cap gun.
And of course those guns have a real kick to them.
-Like a gunshot. -They're deadly.
Look at Brandon Lee...
Hey, guys,
how about a toast to friendship?
Good idea!
Of course.
-To friendship. -Cheers.
To friendship. Cheers.
Salute!
-It's going fast. -I bought like three bottles.
Is that all?
-Have something to eat. -I am.
Know what's a good business? A CBD store.
My cousin Ulises
used to smoke a lot, he was always a tea head.
My aunt died, he inherited some money.
He opened a CBD store in Gràcia.
He's gone from being a tea head to opening a store,
and now he's a CBD doctor.
A doctor. He's an eminence in CBD.
But what really amazes me
is that someone who smoked that much
becomes a CBD doctor.
It's unusual. Never seen anything like it.
-There's an MBA in CBD, HHC. -Yeah, right?
-But HHC is mild. -I'm lost with the initials.
THC, THC... HHC.
You're so funny, Joaquín.
I'm going to use it for a stand-up routine.
Nowadays a lot of people are investing in restaurants.
Especially pizzerias.
Yes, but not normal pizzerias. Themed pizzerias.
Based on an idea.
But...
You'd have to be a moron to open a pizzeria.
Jesus, there are so many!
A themed pizzeria!
I spend my savings on a pizzeria, right?
Some concept!
Like pizza still hasn't been figured out, huh?
Awesome!
-Hey, shall I serve dessert? -Yeah, yeah.
I'm full, but okay.
-How about pastries? -Go on, two.
Themed ones!
Awesome!
Come on, don't get upset.
He was out of line, but...
he doesn't even believe that.
Come on.
Besides, you had a lot to drink.
It doesn't agree with you. It must be an allergy thing.
You need to have it looked at.
It's not normal.
It doesn't agree with you.
-Enric. -All good?
The dossier is nearly done.
-I'll send it in about an hour. -Perfect.
How are you doing?
-Fine. -You look tired.
Well, you know...
My wife has got it into her head that she wants to open a restaurant.
-What? -A pizzeria.
I was looking into it, it's a real hassle.
-Okay. -I'll let you know.
-All right. -Bye.
UP TO €50,000 WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY
EXTENSIVE INFO ONLINE GET CASH NOW!
Done! €30,000 in your account!
Done! €30,000 in your account!
Cool, huh?
It's cool, you'll like it. This way.
Here it is.
Watch your step.
Don't step on it!
-But it's here? -Yes.
-Turn on the light. -Okay.
What? What do you reckon?
Go on in.
Here you have it.
This is Pizza Movies.
What do you think?
Say something!
What?
This is Pizza Movies?
Of course. Well, not exactly like this.
Use your imagination.
Like a flat that needs renovating.
Don't open it. We're going to...
get rid of it. Use you imagination.
We'll clean all of this, set it up properly.
This is where we'll cook.
-Alan, this is disgusting. -Thais, use your imagination.
-It's yucky. -We only have €30,000...
I sort of pictured the restaurant to be very basic,
I know we can't afford more,
but this?
You can't open a restaurant for €30,000.
It's impossible.
So you need to completely change the business model.
A dark kitchen, okay?
This is how it works:
delivery-only.
Orders arrive, orders are delivered.
Order, collect, deliver.
Have you seen this area? It's full of restaurants
that make kebabs, noodles...
All I saw were eyes...
in the dark, Alan.
I felt scared, I was scared.
On the way here I thought, God, how would I walk along
that tunnel of terror by myself?
-Thais. -This is...
a cockroach paradise.
-What's this? -Come on.
Let's use
a sort of metaphor, okay?
We'll take something with us the first day
and dump it.
Look, all it takes is one trip to get rid of this.
They left a fence here.
Out it goes, we don't need it.
Come on, cheer up!
Get going!
Careful on the skateboard, lately...
Yeah.
Move it, then.
Hang on a sec!
Are you with me or your mum this weekend?
With mum.
All weekend?
-Yeah. -Fuck.
THE DARK KITCHEN
Leave it. The pizza chef will be here any minute.
-Do you have reception? -If I don't move.
What does he say?
He got lost and went to the other industrial estate.
So he's here?
Did you post on Instagram?
Yeah, I already have 28 followers.
I didn't even advertise it.
Max! Hi, welcome.
Hi. All good?
This is my wife Thais, she's the joint owner of...
-Go ahead. -It was hard to find, right?
It's a little bit...
Questo que... What is this?
This is Pizza Movies. The kitchen we managed to get.
This is, erm...
But couldn't you find something less...
Like this?
Like what?
Less... More...
We still need to fix up the...
-There are still parts that need... -That part there...
I think it's a really nice space, very inviting.
Okay, okay, okay.
Do you want us to walk you through...
the concept of...
Here's the thing, I'm a pro.
I think a lot about whether to accept a job or not.
Yeah, we know that.
Miki at the agency mentioned it.
You were working at Leonardis in...
Los Angeles.
-As a chef. -No, a pizza chef.
-Yeah, sure, pizza chef. -It's more...
I accept very few assignments...
a year.
Like four orcinque, max.
You're Italian?
Grazie per tanti...
No, I'm...
I'm... from Albacete, but I have relatives there.
My grandfather.
And then I have a...
Well, isn't that lovely?
That's life.
For me, creating pizzas...
That's life.
-Cool. -Like, it's in your blood.
Yeah.
You're getting on the table?
Why do you...?
I need a minute.
-I need a minute. -Sure.
Yes. Because art isn't a 7-Eleven.
-No. -Certainly not.
You have to find the key.
-Got it. -Brilliant.
All right.
Bang!
There we have it.
An explosion.
A red explosion on the palate.
All right.
Let's put it in context.
I've brought you material.
Well, well.
So, like...
I have a fantastic suggestion.
I'm loving it!
A pizza based on the film The Bridges of Madison County.
-Of course. -Great.
The middle is in the shape of a bridge
made of smoked salmon.
How does it stay up? I guess it has a sort of...
Well, it doesn't matter.
We'll play it by ear.
It would be about €200,000 for the licensing
of the rights to this design
over four years,
then we'd renew it.
So...
let's close the deal and get to work.
Up, up, up, up!
€200,000 for this design?
Renewable after four years.
What's more, I have the contract.
Okay, but the thing is... There's the question of...
It might not be what we had in mind.
We didn't know it would be this much.
You only pay 10% to start with, then 20%.
Would that be about 20,000?
We can't do that either.
-This means... -No, but you see...
10% to start with, 10%.
10%.
You pay 20% later.
Max, we don't even have enough for that.
-We'll have to... -Right now we don't...
Perhaps later on.
But we're just starting...
Porca put an a de merda.
Screw that.
-La merde! -Salmon and truffles, sure.
Diarrhoea guaranteed.
Vaffanculo!
La merda!
When did we think we could hire a pizza chef?
-When? -Well, we can't.
It's better that way.
Not an idiot like that.
When did we think this place was a good idea?
Why so negative all of a sudden?
Because of that bullshit artist?
He got on the table.
-It's over. -Don't do that.
Don't do that. Okay, here we go.
Don't do that, Thais.
Thais, please. Come on, come on.
Don't play dead. It's not funny.
-Don't do that. -It's over.
Don't do that. What do we need to make pizzas?
Eh? What do we need?
We love each other. That's so unusual nowadays.
It's provocative, it's revolutionary.
We have each other, we're eager to make pizzas,
plus we have a powerful concept and dreams.
Dreams are all you need.
Draw pizzas? I can do that.
Any idiot can do it.
I studied Visual Arts.
Let's design pizzas. Come on!
I'll open a bottle of Lambrusco
and we get down to work.
Look at me!
Pizza Movies?
The two of us?
We've got this.
-What are you going to do? -I'm recording.
-Go on. -All right.
Know what this film is?
Jurassic Park.
How about this one?
If you thought it was Psycho, you're right
because Pizza Movies is really here.
The first pizzeria in history
that mixes pizza with cinema.
This is just the beginning, and what's more
look for all the special offers
and you can get this Lambrusco for free.
Pizza Movies! Pizza Movies! Pizza Movies!
Give me a P, give me an I, give me a Z,
give me a Z...
It's too long.
Pizza Movies, the stuff dreams are made of.
The pizzeria is almost ready!
We haven't started delivering yet.
But you can place your first orders via our app.
Thais, Thais.
Look, look.
Look, look!
-Look. -I'm looking.
Look.
What?
-Are they...? -I guess so, right?
-I don't believe it. -These are orders, sweetie.
-How many? -Look at the figure at the top.
These are... Look, go into Instagram.
Check out the comments.
They're all brilliant. Look, look!
I'm going to wee myself!
-I'm freaking out. -I need a wee.
Listen:
"Best thing I've seen in my bloody life."
"Fucking great."
-What? -"The best, the best."
Wow! They're going mad!
-That's so great, so great! -I threw it.
-Where is it? -I threw the phone.
Don't let the magic get away.
Now what do we do?
We need to get organised. We need to get organised.
I can't think straight right now.
The concept is so powerful, every detail must be in line.
Keep up with me.
The box, the box.
The pizza box is delivered to your home.
The box itself, the packaging,
must be pure cinema.
I got this idea.
It came to me this morning in a flash.
An icon.
Look, that's all you get.
You can see it. What is it?
-The Walk of Fame star. -Of course!
-Pizza Movies. -It has it all.
Square, circle, pizza, star,
cinema, it's all there.
-Delivery people, I mean... -Wow!
-Know anyone who could do that? -No idea.
Only your brother comes to mind.
-Not my brother... -Why not?
My brother couldn't do it alone.
I can't see him doing it.
He's not up to it, it's not his thing.
-Okay. - I don't know...
What kind of people...?
Okay... okay.
What sector is unstable?
Who needs money, work,
and has lots of free time?
-I don't know... -Can't think of anyone?
Can't think of anyone?
Film critics.
Wow, sweetie, you're amazing!
-Sure. -Am I right?
Your smug colleagues
with tonnes of free time.
Plus, half of them are diabetic, so it'll do them good to walk.
-For sure. -It'll do them good.
And with back issues...
And they'll love it, it's their thing.
Pizza Movies is their thing.
What do the delivery guys wear? You tell me.
The delivery guys? Film critics.
Who delivers this to your home?
Someone wearing a hoodie
and jeans?
Plus the logo.
More theme-based.
Related to cinema, a total icon.
-Chaplin delivers it. -Chaplin.
Bit of an anticlimax.
Like a street entertainer.
How about Mad Max?
I wouldn't eat something he gave me.
It has a dirty vibe.
I'm thinking mud, oil, hunger.
How about Chewbacca? Something sort of...
Chewbacca is cool...
but a bit over the top.
And the costume is hot.
They'll end up knackered.
And then there's the fur.
-Fur and pizza don't go together. -Got it.
What? What?
Spike Lee?Do the Right Thing?
-Wow! Yes! -Sure.
I'm not throwing it in your face, you know?
Chewbacca, for example. Everyone gets it.
But it's too easy.
This will freak out your smug colleagues.
Awesome!
All these people? Why are so many people here?
I don't get it.
I only told two people.
Did they spread the word?
All the people at the Radio Primavera Sound party are here.
Here they are.
He's a YouTuber.
I saw one of his videos
about why not to open a restaurant. Look where he is.
Look how long the queue is.
Sorry, are you all here for Pizza Movies?
Yes?
All of you? Okay.
-Let them start coming in, right? -Yeah, go on in.
Yeah, go ahead.
Wait in here for a sec.
-Now we'll... -Thanks.
Thanks for coming.
First of all, thank you all for coming along.
We didn't expect this many people.
To be honest, we're a bit overwhelmed.
I'll give you a simple explanation of what we'll be doing tonight.
This is about people wanting pizza
and us giving it to them. That's the goal.
Plus, this is Pizza Movies,
a powerful, winning concept.
But how do we deliver them?
You'll deliver on foot.
Like Spike Lee in Do the Right Thing.
-All right? -Okay.
That's the idea.
I have a scooter.
I mean, I can use it
or lend it to my workmates.
If we don't have tickets for public transport, we might do...
In that case maybe...
Are we talking about the whole metropolitan area...?
Yes, the whole area.
But that's not it. It's not about tickets.
It's not about tickets or transport.
This is about something else.
Creating a small business model,
but one that is simple and genuine, attractive and unique.
Let's not get distracted.
This is about delivering pizzas, okay?
It seems simple, but it's not.
It's important. You make up part of a huge chain,
a chain in which each link counts.
No link, no chain.
Do you get it? A beautiful idea.
We're not delivering pizza.
It's a dream.
Thais's dream. She had the idea.
She created all of this.
It all begins tonight.
So, put on those uniforms,
go out into the city, and deliver pizzas.
Deliver food, deliver the dream.
What people receive in their homes tonight
is Pizza Movies.
It's food, but also Hollywood.
It's film history.
It's the Oscars, Hollywood, the Goya Awards,
the Lumières, Segundo de Chomón,
Méliès, the Palme d'Or, Italian neorealism,
Turkish cinema, it's celluloid
in your mouth.
It's hopes and dreams, okay?
We begin tonight and this is the first
of many nights of hopes,
gluten and cinema.
It's Pizza Movies. And you're part of the dream.
Pizza Movies! Pizza Movies!
Come on, let's do this! Thanks!
Let's do this! Let's do this!
Thank you so much!
3 NEW ORDERS
-Thanks, mate. -Sounds like fun.
Your pizza thing is fun too, huh?
Yeah, but more than just that.
Yeah, sure.
-It's about saving cinema. -Sure.
-We're film critics. -Yeah.
I'm a hardcore critic.
-Cool. -Independent cinema.
So the thing is that...
Yeah?
In the end, we might not save the silver screen,
but with pizzas...
For sure. Bye.
Hi, we're a new pizzeria.
Check us out on Instagram.
If you like smoking, you'll like Pizza Movies.
It's just as addictive.
Silence, we're rolling!
How many times did you see a film and say:
"Wow, it's good enough to eat"?
Well, now at Pizza Movies you can!
Marilyn Monroe pizza.
The ET pizza.
I have to finish it.
Tom Cruise pizza.
Pizza Movies, follow us!
Hi there.
Your pizza.
HAL.
Yeah, that's HAL's eye.
The egg is its eye.
How about a Monolith?
Then the box wouldn't close.
But it's essential.
Technology versus spirituality.
That's the film.
I'm a film critic.
I wrote about Kubrick. Interested?
Yeah...
Here.
Costs ten euros, it's yours for five.
I'll go fetch my card...
No, it has to be in cash.
-A five-euro note? -Fine.
Don't you have cash?
Who does?
It all comes down to that.
NEW ORDER
Psycho pizza.
The flavour of crime.
Ready to deliv... er!
This isn't Psycho.
No way.
Well, we'll rename it: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
-Done. -In HD.
Tell the delivery guy. Off you go.
No, Mum, I can't miss work again.
I can't.
Would you ask me if I were a lawyer?
This is the same, but with pizzas.
My job is important.
You never want to admit it, but it is.
Everyone needs to eat, right?
Well, I make sure they do.
And I make them happy, too.
Guys! The Pizza Movie pizzas are here!
Yay!
Open it!
Pizza Movies! Pizza Movies!
Film pizzas? Don't believe it.
These guys rock, bro.
2001 A Space Odyssey isn't the novel or the book.
The delivery guy wrote this.
We'll carry on trying out these pizzas
along with you guys.
We'll be here so you can grab a taste too.
Where are the critics?
Erm... but someone must know.
The critics need to be here. The film has to start.
Well this is great.
I feel like I've had a sort of creative explosion.
All those years in the agency
where my hands were tied,
and now I'm getting a flood of ideas, and images of pizzas.
The other day while having a crap I saw...
Jumanji 2. The one with the...
It's amazing, I'm over the moon.
I'm still depressed,
but much happier, you know?
-I feel... -Sure, sure.
There's something you didn't see.
This'll make you happy.
-Our account. -What?
Over €30,000, look.
-Check it out! Check it out! -Oh my God!
Oh, sweetie! I can't believe it.
-It's awesome. -Oh my God!
We need to be really careful, Alan.
Money comes and goes.
We need to keep that money.
-And enjoy it. -Yes.
Look at the city.
Some see a city.
I see pizzas.
Each house is a pizza.
Orders.
Full of orders. What do you see?
I need my glasses...
But you know what I'm saying? You have to enjoy it.
So, the most effective way of doing it
is just doing it, and that's what we've achieved.
And in spades.
Great, brilliant.
-Good? -Terrific.
Great.
-Enric, can I have a word? -Sure.
Remember the pizzeria my wife and I were going to open?
No.
Doesn't matter. The thing is...
we've opened it and business is going really well.
Is it? Great, congrats.
Thanks.
In fact, it's going so well that
I've decided to do it full time.
So... I'm quitting.
Hang on. You're quitting the agency
to open a pizzeria?
It's insane, but I think so.
I'm gobsmacked.
Will you treat us to a pizza one day?
Yeah. It's a delivery service.
So deliver pizzas to the agency.
Sure, wherever you want.
Yeah, I'll send pizzas for everyone.
Whatever happens,
-we're always here for you. -Wow, thanks.
-Thanks so much, Enric. -Bye.
-I'll send you one. -Okay.
Turn left.
Turn left.
Wow. What a daft little buzz.
There's a pizzeria that has gone viral
that makes film-themed pizzas.
Check this out.
Fair play for spotting Tom Cruise,
but it's some bloke who's like him.
This is as bad as Troll 2.
Now let's play Minecraft
with a Hello Kitty mod.
Hey, Alan. Have you seen this?
They're all sort of cryptobros.
Gym buddies on steroids.
Looking for laughs.
They're posting memes.
Okay, all right. Let them fucking laugh.
I don't give a damn.
We've got a winner.
Pay up, then laugh at us.
Do what you want with the pizza.
Pizza Movies.
All right? Okay?
What about copyright infringement? I'm a lawyer.
ORDER ON ITS WAY
Straight ahead.
You can put it there.
I'll fetch my wallet.
Where did I put it?
Do you like music?
Yeah, I'm a music critic.
Yeah.
I love art.
Me too.
But not just music.
Painting, cinema...
-Sculpture. -Theatre.
But it's a pity that
in this day and age
quality art can't be made in public.
It has to be created in the privacy of your own home.
There's no other choice.
Anyone who does it outside
is committing an indecent act.
There's the money.
But this is a lot.
It includes a tip.
And a letter for your bosses.
ATTN: PIZZA MOVIES
There was no address to send it to.
Is it a dark kitchen?
Go on, people will find out in the end.
All it takes is a few calls and the news is out.
This isn't personal, it's about your bosses.
-Your pizza will go cold. -No worries.
If they have a dark kitchen, fine.
We just add it to the case.
Go on, take the letter.
Take the letter.
Take the letter.
Take it.
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Mummy...
I need a winch, I need a winch.
Action!
THE COURT CASE
Do we have to wait for...
Silence in court.
I give the floor to the prosecutor,
Mr. Miquel Bassas.
Thank you, Your Honour. Let's look at the facts.
The defendants opened a business in Barcelona
seven months ago.
They opened a pizzeria: Pizza Movies.
They concentrated on using ingredients to depict
well-known films on the pizza itself.
"Jurassic the Park",
"ET the Alien",
Floridablanca...
Tom Cruise, Samantha Fox,
Ingmar Bergman,
using pepperoni.
Tarkovsky's face using bacon and olives.
That's unacceptable,
but they're not being charged for that.
The case blew up
in March when an anonymous user on X
tagged my client.
Who is he?
The director Spike Lee.
Are you familiar with the film director?
I don't know his work.
As I said, he was tagged in the tweet
in which there is a photo
with a group of people posing, the delivery staff.
They're wearing uniforms.
And what a surprise, the clothing is an exact copy
of what the characters wore
in Spike Lee's film, my client, Do the Right Thing.
The issue is that Spike Lee
got wind of this tweet
and wrote this wonderful piece.
This is bullshit!
I think that Mr. Lee fell short.
Star Studios Branded Content
wishes to prove
that behind a façade of amusing viral click bait,
there are just two psychopaths hiding.
Two unscrupulous individuals who hate cinema,
who hate culture,
and whose actions
are nothing more than terrorism.
They must be tried as terrorists.
Thank you, Your Honour.
Thank you for your statement, Mr. Bassas.
I would ask the defendants to tell me
if they are aware of what the lawyer means...
the claim filed by the lawyer in your particular case?
Yes, Your Honour.
We'd like our lawyer to be present.
And where is he?
He's having trouble getting here,
he's travelling from outside Barcelona.
I imagine he'll have an explanation.
In any case,
we'll take a 20-minute recess.
-Thank you, Your Honour. -Thank you.
You're welcome.
This is a nightmare. It's all so weird.
If it were a courtroom...
I thought this would be like a court case in films,
but it's nothing like it. It's hideous.
Seems they're like this in Spain.
Quique goes a lot, he tells me this is the set up:
like a notary's office or worse...
A really bleak room, no furniture.
I don't know who these people are either.
Is it free admission to a court case?
Can just anyone walk in? Who are they?
Sorry, sorry, sorry...
Sorry... sorry.
Sorry.
I sit here. May I?
This is my place.
Is it taken?
It won't go any further.
Keep trying, I can't fit in.
Whenever you're ready.
Sorry, I had... I've come from Mongat
and there was a misunderstanding with...
Could you speak up?
Yes, there was a hitch,
I've come from Mongat.
I took the wrong exit
and going back is always difficult.
-I apologise, Mr. Honorary. -Excuse me?
If you don't mind: "Judge" or "Your Honour".
Sorry, it's just...
I'm nervous, miss.
You have the floor.
With your permission, Miss Honour.
I would like you to taste this pizza.
So, does it taste of resentment?
It tastes of pizza. It's good.
It tastes of childhood fantasies.
To be honest, it tastes of the ingredients.
They're not the usual kind.
I find it amusing.
It's original.
With your permission.
They don't seem to have been done by an adult.
They're out of proportion. You don't know if...
it's a dinosaur or a gremlin.
But it's a dinosaur, there's no doubt about it.
Maybe drawn by a child or someone with hydrocephaly.
What I'm saying is that obviously...
Objectively, and without wishing to contradict you, Miss Honour,
the designs are quite ugly.
What we do agree on is that they taste good.
Yes, they are.
That's my defence statement.
I threw a dinner party in an Airbnb...
Objection!
Why?
Airbnb.
I live in Madrid, I rented an Airbnb.
Objection overruled. Continue.
So, I threw a dinner party and Alan and Thais came.
Thais and I go back a long way.
That's when they told me about opening the pizzeria.
-I said it was a terrible idea. -Obviously, it is.
Horrible as well as criminal.
Objection.
Order! That's enough.
Sorry, sorry.
What I literally said was
you'd have to be a moron.
Not in a nasty way,
but it was what I thought.
These things are said jokingly,
but they're the truth.
No more questions, Your Honour.
This might take a turn at any minute.
Yeah. And not necessarily for the best.
...I was visiting a friend and ordered a pizza.
We started eating and he was like:
The Ten Commandments.
Reverse shot,
wide shot, reverse shot.
Wide shot. Cecil B. DeMille.
Weird people go to those dinners.
Artists...
but I've grown tired of it.
So my partner and I
decided to go and live in Cádiz.
They sneered at us.
They were arguing,
sort of whispering, talking about us.
They're rather childish.
Their view
of the world is not realistic.
Especially her.
As a result, her son
is slightly traumatised by her fears.
We can see it here:
the alien is completely drugged.
Cruise has a cynical grin.
The dinosaur's face is salmonella.
Just in case,
we've brought a real pizza chef.
-This is Max Morbo. -Thanks.
From my humble point of view as a pizza chef...
this isn't right.
It looks awful, it doesn't hold up semiotically,
there are no vestiges of...
cave paintings,
even shamanic images.
It's so annoying
that anyone can consider themselves a pizza chef.
Aren't you going to ask him anything?
...and I also saw that they hired
cultural critics, cultural journalists,
I saw trouble brewing.
That guy is a traitor!
They're the bottom feeders of journalism.
The pits.
I don't count sports journalists as writers.
Working at Pizza Movies changed my mind.
Cultural journalists can be wonderful people.
Pizza Movies is an exciting business
where film is delivered to people's homes.
And I found a family there.
I don't think they deserve any of this at all.
And he said to him:
It was good, huh?
The what?
The pizza!
We'd eaten the pizza. I hadn't realised,
but we'd discussed cinema.
Do you realise what these guys have achieved?
They make you discuss cinema.
They give you a pizza, horrible like all the others,
but it keeps you entertained.
He put his finger on it!
Last witness.
I'm glad that the law is finally
taking this matter seriously.
I insist on claiming authorship
of all of Dalí's work.
Mr. Bassas, a question for the witness?
No, Your Honour.
Thank you. You may go.
After listening to the statements and the submission
of documents by counsel,
I hereby conclude this hearing.
This is going nowhere.
What are you going to do?
So, the session is over.
Your Honour, may I have a minute?
Not now.
It's not your turn.
Thank you.
All right.
Erm...
My husband, Alan, and I...
He's 48, I'm 45...
We've been going through some very tough years.
We've had a lot of problems. I believe we're depressed.
But when we started going out,
he was a promising visual artists who created paintings
that were powerful, dynamic.
And I fell in love with him straight away.
Everything that Alan did was amazing.
And it was mutual,
because I was a young cultural journalist
specialised in film criticism.
-Excuse me! -We spent the nights
talking about cinema.
We discussed Bogdanovich, the films of Cassavetes.
We talked about Art Brut...
the Dogme 95 Manifesto...
the new Hollywood and what have you. And we screwed.
An awful lot. A hell of a lot.
I don't know...
I remember that the rooms smelled...
When the sex is wild.
You understand me, right? It was amazing.
But then the crisis came along in 2008
and destroyed everything.
Journalism went south,
Alan had no place to exhibit
and was forced to work in the agency
where he is today, and which he hates.
To him it's like working for the devil.
And my profession gradually deteriorated
at the same time as cinema deteriorated.
Yeah.
Someone had to say this.
And in that gloomy, fetid hotchpotch...
an idea bubbles up.
Perhaps it was crazy, all right.
Maybe it was a desperate cry. Okay.
But ultimately, it's an idea.
And that idea had a name.
And that name is Pizza Movies.
And Pizza Movies
is not a dark kitchen, as was alleged here
on too many occasions.
Pizza Movies is my life.
And my husband's. These are my memories.
It's what cinema used to mean, what being alive
Your Honour, what is going on?
Silence in court.
Sorry.
Anyway,
Pizza Movies
is like...
a distant memory that comes back into focus
thanks to... here you have it!
Simple, badly made pizzas.
It brings back all those dreams
of the future we had as kids.
When you watched a film at night with your parents.
We've all been there, haven't we?
Right?
You saw a film
and had the feeling that absolutely everything was possible.
And that as a grownup you'd achieve
everything you dreamed of because it was in films.
There it was.
And not this shitty life we're stuck in
where neither you or I
are the least bit important.
Because you and I are fast food.
And Pizza Movies,
ladies and gentlemen, is not fast food.
No! No!
It's a lost cause.
Sure, sure, here we go.
Mr. Bassas.
You people in your Hollywood world today
have no idea what lost causes are,
dreams, or anything.
Because it's all fake. Yes, sir!
It's all a lie, it's all CGI.
But lost causes... Listen to me when I talk to you.
I am, I am.
Lost causes
are the only ones that are worth fighting for.
And I fight for them in your name,
and for all those who fight to preserve
their humanity in these dark times.
You think we're beaten, right?
You think we're beaten.
I regret to inform you that we're not.
Never. I intend to carry on fighting my corner.
I'll be standing right here. Yes!
You can corner us, ostracise us, I don't care.
But you can never destroy our hopes and dreams.
Never. Because we won't let you.
-Will we let you? -No!
We're searching for happiness.
And that can never ever...
be a lost cause.
Thank you.
Order in the court, please.
Do something, please.
Silence or I'll clear the court.
Quiet. Let's hear what she says.
A verdict has been reached. All right.
I think the pizzas are fine and the fact you love each another.
However, I'm going to order you to pay €30,000
for legal damages.
From now on, Pizza Movies will cease its activity
and 100% of the pizza copyright
will go to Mr. Spike Lee.
That is my ruling.
The court is adjourned.
No, Thais, not here, sweetie.
I'm going for lunch at Pedralbes frankfurters.
It's time.
We're not actually that bad.
Because if we pay the €30,000 fine
and the workers' compensation,
I worked out that we'll be left with minus €1,000.
-Really? -Isn't that how we always got by?
-How much did we have when we met? -Minus 1,000.
Do you want an Ibuprofen?
No.
We don't need it.
Listen, I'm not going back to the agency.
Well I'm not going back to journalism, they all hate me.
So what do we do?
We'll think of something.
Hey, Alan!
-What about Hermes? -Hermes.
Where is he?
At home?
THE END
PIZZA MOVIES A FILM BY CARLO PADIAL
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